Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump . Browse (mostly) them here .
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net . Browse them here .
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008). Threads by latest replies - Page 5
Swordy !D8EOdPr5LE
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I'll start. These are some I saved from about 2 years ago (July 09).
Anonymous
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>>2917427 Same thing happened to me at the microwave in my school cafeteria way back in the 6th grade or so. We didn't have a microwave at home, so I had no idea you weren't supposed to put tin foil in the microwave. Oops....
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>making verticals horizontal
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>2915393 >>2915422 >try desperately hard to make yourself as cute as possible >drawing skills are so poor you need to add captions to explain what things are Artistic fail.
Anonymous !!rEkSWzi2+mz
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>>been living with 5 guys in same house for 3 years >>cleaning out fridge/kitchen of old food >>open roommates food cupboard >>find this
Anonymous
>>2834546 Honey and blood are also the only two "perfect foods," meaning you could live exclusively on a diet of either of them.
Anonymous
>>2834546 Twinkies, soy sauce, and sugar don't either.
Anonymous
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>>2834546 I've heard that they found ancient jars of honey from egypt that are still edible
>>2834558 blood too?
>>2834561 Nah, twinkies can go bad.
Anonymous
>>2834558 Bull shit. There's a tradition in some culture where they get old guys to eat nothing but honey until they start shitting pure honey and eventually die of malnutrition. They were then turned into honey mummies and it was thought that they could cure disease.
Anonymous
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>>2834648 >honey mummies mhm.
Anonymous !AXguybfBVE
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anyone got any good stories of their or other parents?>work as housekeeper for fat white lady (also member of local Tea Party) >she has a 3 year old son, kid is scrawny looking >find empty cans of kid's chef boyardee in the kitchen every week, half eaten kid cuisine microwave meals, kid's animal plates of microwavable egg rolls, instant fried rice, bowls of chili >no signs of any vegetables whatsoever >kid only drinks fruit juice, fruit juice, and fruit juice, top shelf of fridge is filled with NOTHING but fruit juice boxes >for a snack he can have diced fruit in heavy syrup, or welch's fruit snacks >will only eat if he's parked in his "eating desk" in front of the TV (it's a actual toddler's activity desk, not a high chair) >mfw that kid is gonna grow up with the shittiest immune system ever >aunt wonders why little cousin hates pineapple. "om-nom it's good!!" >forces kid who just turned 2 to take a bite, chew. swallow. kid starts cying, asking for water >"quit being spoiled Jessica, ugh!" >kid walks by me, massaging tongue with her fingers. >I ask her to sit with me, she does. I ask if her tongue hurts. >"mm-hmm, pica" pica is spanish for, "it stings" >check her tongue, it's red with small white dots >run to kitchen to tell aunt her child is allergic to pineapple. >"it's only fruit blah blah blah" >dad walks in, aunt asks him if people can be allergic to pineapple >dad gives her a "you gotta be shitting me" look
Anonymous
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>>2817531 mfw Hoveround Nation votes republican looses their food stamps and gets even poorer
stupid is as stupid does
>commedian because its all just a fucking joke Anonymous
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>>2811835 Change your job you piece of fucking shit. It's people like you that are bringing the quality of mental health down. And it's people like you that hurt your clients more than you will ever be able to help them.
Fucking quit, go do something useful with your life because currently you aren't helping any fucking one.
You disgust me... you're that kid in my class that I wished the professor had failed because you're too pathetic to ever help anyone.
Anonymous
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>>2817417 Uuughhh...just no.Overlooking what is wrong with your child is the cause of many unhappy people nowadays.
I hate people who concentrate on their career yet not give a shit about their children.
Is it true?If it is, it's very sad.
Anonymous
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>parents only 'cook' microwave meals and depressingly bland roast dinners >actually physically repulsed by these offerings, can only stomach tiny mouthfuls of anything every mealtime >bacon sandwich for breakfast every morning >gives me vicious heartburn and abdominal cramps >it turns out i'm allergic to pork >"dad i can't eat that" >bacon sandwich for breakfast >throw it away on the way to school >live off caffeine and school dinners for eleven years because it's easier than having my father poison me >have retarded metabolism, liver problems, and grotesque, bony figure for the rest of life
Anonymous
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>Parents are drug addicts and alcoholics. >Spend all their money on non-food or house items. >get mad at me when I eat their stoner food because it's all we have. >live off of spaghetti with cheddar cheese for years. Or fast food every night because they're too blitzed out to cook. >end up getting fat because no fruits or vegetables in sight, and no ability to buy any. >Mom starts buying food for herself because her "munching" has gone right to her hips. >get beat and yelled at for eating her salad. >MFW I get a job, buy my own food and then get called greedy because I don't buy enough for them to eat. >MFW I don't give a shit and take the cost of what they eat out of the rent that I "owe" them, and they don't bitch cause they know they're horrible people. >MFW I move out and they lose their jobs, and don't have any way to support their drug addictions or alcohol problems and both of them lose a shit load of weight, because they'd rather buy drugs and booze than food. >Some people should not reproduce... EVER.
Anonymous
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In the mood for a chippy tonight (british slang for fish and chip shop) and not sure what to get, suggestions?
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>tuna on a baked potato
Anonymous
>>2781658 GHEY, I did decide on Deep Fried Cheese Burger Supper with Half a battered Pizza side but it seems that the place is closed for May Day
Anonymous
>>2781669 may day was yesterday broseph
Anonymous
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>>2781671 Well Bank Holiday Monday then, will go tomorrow night thought
Anonymous
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> ordering from one of these places sober and before 3am
Anonymous
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let's get cooking, /ck/!
Anonymous
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Bay area here as well, Eastbay
Anonymous
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>>2781640 >telling yourself your areacode Anonymous
>>2781638 tha fuk happened to that dude?
Anonymous
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>>2781667 I think he died. Not sure though.
Anonymous
Anonymous
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Hello my fellow warlo/ck/s~
Anonymous
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>>2781665 do you fry it in cornmeal? tht's the best way to cook it. (and it is not even that good).
catfish is one of those things you eat cause your dad always ate it when you were a kid and you want to look cool like your dad. yeah... i'm glad my dad never ate catfish.
Anonymous
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>>2781665 You ever stop to the think that he might be right? Catfish caught from good clean water source is awesome.
Anonymous
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>>2781665 You probably don't, because catfish is delicious.
Concerned Citizen !EbdYy.Aajg
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>>2781661 I see Jesus in that monkfish's mouth...
Anonymous
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>>2781661 Delicious.
I usually put a fillet of monkfish on top of a thai mushroom salad.
Anonymous
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Food Porn.
Anonymous
heartsonfire !SysNpnp3nU
heartsonfire !SysNpnp3nU
heartsonfire !SysNpnp3nU
Anonymous
Concerned Citizen !EbdYy.Aajg
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What's for lunch, /ck/?
Anonymous
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This thread is dildos.
Anonymous
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>I'm looking to steal a few tomatoes and maybe some strawberries from a local grocery later soon.
Anonymous
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Fa/tg/uy here...>Baking cake with my mother >She tells me we got very little vanilla sugar left >I jokingly say "Of course, we only buy it every ten years or so" >She checks the expiration date >It expired 10 years ago >mfw
Anonymous
>buy milk >never use milk >need milk >milk is 3 weeks expired
Anonymous
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>Comes home drunk with friends >One friend takes some milk out of the kitchen >Forget >3-4 weeks later friends complaining about a foul odor of jizz from my room >Couldn't care less >Smell it myself 2-3 weeks later, when my friends didn't want to come over anymore because my room was too filthy and smelly >Decide to clean my room, find months old milk under my bed where my friend thoughtfully placed it >Going to the sink to spill it out >Not a single drop comes out when I hold it under the sink, even though my friend only took a sip >Discovered that my milk had turned completely solid and that I had to dig it out with a spoon >MFW
Anonymous
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>>2781607 Lrn2 powdered milk. Seriously bro.
Anonymous
>Buy some soup thing that you just have to add water to cause its on sale >Decide to eat one later that night >Tastes awful >Expired 3 years ago
Anonymous
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>>2781651 I thought it was illegal to sell expired food.
Anonymous
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sup /ck/ I made chinese roast pork.
Anonymous
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>>2781615 I simply added another coating of the roast pork sauce during the baking process. Usually within the last 15 minutes of finishing.
!666K2K7y4Y
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>>2781615 msg gives it that special sheen
Anonymous
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Racist. Reported.
Anonymous
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That's BBQ pork, Chinese style. Roast pork has a crisply delicious skin with fat underneath
Anonymous
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>>2781580 Yoshi blade. LOL
Anyways, looks pretty good. A bit on the grey side. I live in the South and our BBQ is pink. It's tender and moist.
