Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
>be 19 >tfwnogf >go to new college >meet a 16 y/o qt3.14 >she sits next to me >start becoming good friends (inb4 friendzoned faggot) >asks me to come round to help her with work >go round hers to help her 2 or 3 times a week >one week she asks me to watch a movie with her instead of working >say alright. >P.S I love you. >she cries a little every time she finds a letter >snuggles up to me >hug her to try and stop her crying, don't want someone coming in to see her crying and me just sat there >looks me in the eyes and says she likes me >fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I like her too but I don't know what to say >"y-you too" >she smiles and hugs me really tight >when I leave to go home she kisses me out of nowhere. We didn't say we were going out we just said we like each other so was a little shocked >"see you tomorow" >"y-you too"
>go home, fap furiously to her >go to school next day, asks me to go to hers again, says nobody's home >go to hers >as soon as we're inside we start making out, pulls me into her room and we're dry humping on her bed >"I love you Anon." >Wat. Getting a bad feeling this girl is not playing with a full deck >end up both naked in her bed kissing anyway, she was stroking my cock but no handjob (dem blueballs) >end up asking her out, fuck it.
>tfw qt3.14 gf >go everywhere >fall in love with her too >be with her for 11 months >yesterday get a call from her saying her family is moving away tonight >"wtf tonight? how can you go so soon? what's wrong? wtf? where are you going?" >"Sorry I'll text you tomorrow" >go to school today, not there >go round her house today >nobody home >go into town to buy some cigs and a lottery ticket >go back, not there. >she's dissapeared into thin air >tell my mom she's gone >"who's gone?" >"Lauren's gone. You know, my gf?" >"I don't know what you're talking about" >"Do you have Alzheimer's?" >she gets mad at me >go to my room and try to find her on facebook >no statuses Contd.
/fit/ I need your help, my dad is fat as hell. He's 60 years old, 5'11" and about 300 pounds. He's a taxi driver and he works around 14-18 hours a day or so, probably around 6 days a week. Because of this his diet consists of mostly fast food and other nasty shit. He used to be in good shape but after an accident fucked up his back, he's slowly gained it up to where he is now. Now because of his weight(I assume) he has some serious hip problems(and needs a new one) and has a pretty fucked up ankle(from a snake bite and his weight). Between his injuries, weight, and his work hours, he can't really work out so I'm trying to get him a diet together so he can hopefully lose some weight.
Is 2500 calories a day sound about right? I figured he would need around 300 grams of protein a day, 70 grams of fat, 168 grams of carbs(adding up to 2500 cals). I know someone his size should probably eat more fat but his protein takes up so many cals(essentially 50%) I figured splitting the fat and carbs into 25% of his cals would be right.
Thanks for the help, sorry if this is confusing, I'm all fevered up right now
I've posted here about my uni before. People pay $3 a day to park right beside it, spend ages circling the parking lot to get a spot etc. There is ample parking 5 mins walk away for free. The building is 6 floors and nobody ever uses the stairs. I regularly catch people using the elevators to go DOWN one floor. Yes one single floor. It's fucking embarassing.
Anyway on with the FPS
>be in maths class >middle aged mature student in my stream >shes at waddle tier obesity, she's gotten to the point where she can't walk straight, kind of waddles side to side to move >regularly comes to class with a coke >be today >she shows up 40 minutes late >then proceeds to loudly tell the entire class why she was late >she circled the parking lot over and over looking for a park >couldn't find one so gave up >drove home and called a taxi to pick her up >mfw somebody would rather spend $20+ on a taxi and be 40 minutes late then spend 5 minutes walking to class