How to Have a Sensual Kiss

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: September 11, 2024 References

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From your first kiss to your thousandth kiss, with someone new or with your longtime partner, kissing leaves a lasting impression, especially a kiss that arouses deep emotion and feeling -- the sensual kiss. In fact, experts say kissing plays an important role in the development of relationships and how compatible you are with your partner.^{[1]
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Research source} Through kissing, you are communicating to your partner on a romantic level with a physical action, rather than mere words.^{[2]
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Research source} Here are the steps to having a sensual kiss.

Part 1

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Preparing For the Kiss

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1
Groom yourself. If you're going to be getting up close and personal with your partner, it's a good idea to make your mouth, face, and body appear tantalizing and enticing for them. While everyone may have their own particular grooming routine (your go to mints, that special vanilla scented perfume, that musky cologne), the basics of good grooming include:
- Brush your teeth. No one enjoys inhaling the onion and garlic after taste of your lunch or your stale, I just woke up morning breath. ^{[3]
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  Research source} So before you approach your partner for a kiss, brush your teeth and have a mint to keep your breath fresh and pleasant.
- Wash your face and keep it clean. This is another grooming habit that should not be ignored before enjoying a kiss with your partner. In fact, 53% of women prefer to kiss a clean shaven man.^{[4]
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  Research source} Regardless of if you have whiskers or a clean face, keep it clean and appealing to your partner.
- Wear clean clothes.You want to feel confident about experiencing a good, sensual kiss with your partner, so dress the part and make sure you're sporting clean clothes. Avoid any clothing with spikes, sharp metal, or details that will get in the way of sensual enjoyment.
- Apply a little cologne or perfume. Smelling good is a big turn on for both sexes, but especially for women. Studies have shown that above all other physical characteristics, women ranked a man's scent as the most important feature for sexual interest in him.^{[5]
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  Research source} Of course, the key word is "a little", as a big turn off can be a partner who reeks of an overpowering cologne or perfume. So apply just a little bit of scent to your body and don't overdo it.
Don't be shy about telling your partner what you like or asking what your partner prefers in terms of a good kiss. Rather than feel embarrassed about talking about your kissing dos and don'ts, communicating with each other will ensure you both have an enjoyable time. Be sure to discuss your preferences before you go in for a kiss, not during the kiss, so your partner doesn't take your comments as a rebuke.^{[6]
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Create a private and romantic setting for you and your partner, like an intimate dinner at home or a beautiful view in a park. Consider if your partner has mentioned a special spot or location they enjoy spending time in and if it's an appropriate place for an intimate moment, suggest going there or bring them there. A comfortable, romantic mood will set the stage for a great, sensual kiss.^{[7]
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Part 2

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Having a Sensual Kiss

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Physical interaction like hand-holding or cuddling before you kiss can work as ice breakers and will indicate to your partner that you are interested in some lip action.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
2
Make eye contact and lean in. As you lean in for a kiss, make sure your partner is also leaning in. Engage in eye contact to ensure you are both consenting to a kiss.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
- A good rule is to always close your eyes when you kiss, as your pupils will be dilated and it may appear a bit creepy or weird to your partner if you keep your eyes open.^{[10]
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Tilt your head. About 95% of the time, your partner will tilt their head to the right. If you can't tell which way your partner's head is going to tilt, go right to be safe.^{[11]
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Research source} Regardless, if your partner is starting to tilt in one direction, go the opposite way so your noses don't collide before your lips do.
- If you make a miscalculation and tilt the same way as your partner, or miss their mouth completely as your eyes are closed as you lean in, laugh it off and keep going. A certain level of awkwardness can lead to a great, memorable kiss.^{[12]
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Studies have shown that women think the biggest mistake men make when they kiss is being too aggressive with their tongues. Men claim that women don't open their mouths wide enough as they kiss.^{[13]
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Research source} So try to find the sweet spot between an open mouth (not too wide, like you're about to eat a plate of pasta) and a gentle kiss (not a big smack or with too much tongue).^{[14]
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Apply pressure and speed it up a little. Now that your lips are connecting, apply a little pressure to your partner's lips. You can kiss them a bit faster and a bit deeper.
- If by this point your partner is very responsive to the kiss, you can begin to French kiss, which is just a fancy way of using your tongue as you kiss. Relax your tongue and move it against your partner's tongue in a calm, languid way, like licking an ice cream tongue. Avoid a totally limp or totally stiff tongue, and do not jam or aggressively stick your tongue in your partner's mouth.^{[15]
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One of the most important aspects to creating a sensual kiss is varying where you kiss your partner.^{[16]
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Research source} Try kissing different parts of your partner's face, paying special attention to the ears and neck.^{[17]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} You can bite softly on their lower lip and nibble gently on their earlobe.^{[18]
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Research source} And if you are sensually kissing a consistent partner, change up where you kiss them so your intimate moments don't feel mechanical or repetitive.^{[19]
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Put your body into it. Kissing isn't just limited to your lips, so consider your posture and body position as you kiss. Press your body against your partner's, and use your hands to gently stroke or touch your partner's neck, back, waist, and butt. Once you have engaged in relaxed, gentle physical moves, you could escalate to straddling your partner, or laying down to face each other as you kiss.
- As the kiss becomes more sensual, it is important to always listen and tune into your partner. By paying attention to your partner's breathing, body language, and lip movements, you can gauge if they are enjoying the kiss and are ready to escalate further.^{[20]
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Sensually kiss your partner whenever you can. Don't fall off the kissing train, especially once the early stages of your relationship have passed or the honeymoon period fades. Often, people in a long-term relationship stop kissing and lose that intimate, sensual connection.^{[21]
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- The intensity and emotion of your early kissing can actually become even more passionate as you get to know your partner better, and the communication between you two becomes stronger and more upfront. That old adage can certainly apply to kissing: practice makes perfect.

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How do I kiss someone passionately?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Vary where you kiss them to keep it interesting. Try kissing their neck, cheek, or ear.

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How do I start tongue kissing?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Take it slow while you're first starting off. If your partner initiates tongue kissing, follow along with them.

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Tips

A great sensual kiss can lead to making out or a make out session, where you and your partner try to get as intimate as possible without actually consuming one another. This is the most intense form of kissing, and it can last for a very long time.^{[22]
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Research source} However, not all sensual kisses lead to make out sessions, so always move slowly with your partner and work your way to longer, deeper kissing.

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There is no right way to kiss! Regardless of how you kiss, you should feel the emotion and passion from your partner. Remember: A great kiss is an adventure in itself, not a stepping point to something else.^{[23]
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Remember to be relaxed, and avoid being nervous.

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