Do I Have a Dirty Mind?

Take this quiz to see how dirty your thoughts are!

If someone were to peer into your mind right now, what would they see? Would it be all rainbows and sunshine, or is your head somewhere else, somewhere that’d make your grandmother blush?

If you answer these 12 risqué questions honestly, you’ll find out for yourself just how dirty your mind is. Don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone. Just make sure nobody’s looking over your shoulder!

(Disclaimer: This quiz is just for fun! Rest assured: no matter your answers or results, your thoughts are totally natural and entirely normal.)

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Questions Overview

1. Do you ever fantasize about strangers?
  1. Strangers' lives are none of my business.
  2. Sure, I wonder who they are and where they're going.
  3. I sometimes wonder if they're single.
  4. I fantasize about being alone with them, actually...
2. How often do you use this emoji: 😏?
  1. Why would I ever need to use that emoji?
  2. I use it every once in a while, but only for totally appropriate jokes.
  3. It's definitely on my keyboard's recent emojis.
  4. All the time, it's my favorite emoji! 😏😏😏
3. Pick a TV show to watch:
  1. Something I can enjoy with my family, like Planet Earth.
  2. I want something a little fun and trashy, like Real Housewives, The Bachelor, or another reality show.
  3. I’d watch something tasteful, but steamy (like Bridgerton or Euphoria).
  4. I’m choosing something raunchy—the more inappropriate the better!
4. Quick! Don't think about it, just pick a word:
  1. Vanilla
  2. Uvula
  3. Moist
  4. Wenus
5. How often do you have ~suggestive~ dreams?
  1. Never. My dreams are totally wholesome.
  2. Sometimes, and I wake up feeling weird.
  3. More often than not, but I don't mind.
  4. Almost every night.
6. Two people just exited the public bathroom at the same time. They were:
  1. Strangers who just happened to leave together.
  2. Probably friends hanging out.
  3. Trading some hot, steamy gossip.
  4. Kissing, probably.
7. It's Friday night, and you can go anywhere you want. You're headed:
  1. To my room. To sleep.
  2. My friend's house. Their older sibling is kind of cute.
  3. To a party. I want to dance with someone.
  4. To a first date. The weekends are for steamy romances!
8. What do you look for most in a significant other?
  1. Humor
  2. Charm
  3. Good looks
  4. Great kisser
9. The hottest person you've ever seen asks if you want to make out. You:
  1. Say no, thanks. What a weird thing to ask a stranger.
  2. Accept, but insist they buy me dinner first.
  3. Smile and let them kiss me.
  4. Say, “Duh!” then pull them in for a kiss.
10. Which of the following is most like how your friends would describe you:
  1. Sweet, innocent, and pure.
  2. Funny, nice, and cool.
  3. Bold, adventurous, and open-minded.
  4. Hilarious, but in a super inappropriate way. Not someone I’d take to meet your grandmother…

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Is It Wrong to Have Dirty Thoughts?

Alright, let’s talk sex. Right off the bat, how does that make you feel? Awkward? Uncomfortable? Excited? Sly? Cheeky? We’re here to tell you that your response isn’t good or bad, and it doesn’t make you a worse or better person. That’s just how you feel, and your feelings don’t determine who you are. Now for the real questions:

Is it wrong to have a dirty mind?
The short answer is… Not at all! Sex is just part of being human. Some of us have it, some of us don’t. Most everybody thinks about it in some form or another, though, the same way we think about what’s for dinner or which movie we want to watch later. The beautiful thing about your thoughts is that they’re your own, and nobody else can hear them if you don’t want them to. Which brings us to our next pressing question:

When is it appropriate to say something dirty?
That depends on who you’re with! A close group of friends who know that you like to crack filthy jokes now and then is probably fair game, as long as you’re not saying things about them that make them uncomfortable. But a professional environment like school or work? That’s usually a no-go. Same for when you’re hanging around young kids, or people who you don’t know very well. Sex is natural, as are dirty thoughts, but everyone has their own feelings and reactions, and it’s important to keep that in mind to stay respectful to those around you.

How can I keep things appropriate if I have a dirty mind?
If you have a tendency to let those dirty thoughts slip out, but you want to stay polite in a more serious setting, or just anywhere that kind of thing might not be welcome, the trick is thinking before you speak. Ask yourself: Do I know these people are comfortable with that sort of language? Is this comment relevant to the conversation? Is it something I have to say right now? Is it PG, or is it more of an R-rated comment that’s better for a more private situation? When in doubt, keep things PG. You might also:

  • File away dirty jokes for another time.
  • Redirect your thoughts by thinking about something a little boring, like the wallpaper.
  • Ask a friend to give you a signal if you start saying something crude.
  • Never perform suggestive or sexual physical actions unless you have the other person’s consent. Consent applies to suggestive comments, too!


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Reader Success Stories

  • Alice R.

    Alice R.

    Nov 8

    "I loves it. I got dirtier than most, which I was expecting."
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