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Medium humor. Large laughs.

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A Dog Critiques Iconic Movie Scenes

A Dog Critiques Iconic Movie Scenes

Pulp Fiction: The barking man eats the frightened guy’s hamburger and throws the table. No one yells “BAD!”

Aug 9

Everything Is Poison, And You’re Going To Die: An Online Wellness Summit

Everything Is Poison, And You’re Going To Die: An Online Wellness Summit

Do you want the best health hacks and cutting-edge info on how your life is riddled with toxins?

Aug 8

Work-Life Balance Is Important — That’s Why I Encourage My Employees To Have Mid-Day Sex

Work-Life Balance Is Important — That’s Why I Encourage My Employees To Have Mid-Day Sex

Everyone has my permission to run errands, shop for groceries, or give their partners an afternoon schtupping.

Aug 7

A Mother Sends Her Son To The Store For A Very Specific Kind Of Cheese

A Mother Sends Her Son To The Store For A Very Specific Kind Of Cheese

A tragedy told by text

Aug 6

New York City Dog Breeds

New York City Dog Breeds

I’m walkin’ my dog here!

Aug 5

Gritty Action Reboots Of Your Favorite Classic Novels

Gritty Action Reboots Of Your Favorite Classic Novels

“Say hello to my Little Women.”

Aug 3

Out Of Office Today — My Sim Is Having A Baby

Out Of Office Today — My Sim Is Having A Baby

I will take as long as I need.

Aug 2

More Heehee's and Hoohoo's

Great Thinkers Debate If A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich

Great Thinkers Debate If A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich

Did your mother consider it a sandwich?

Louie Aronowitz

Aug 1

Rosie The Gen Z Riveter Fights The War On Millennial Socks!

Rosie The Gen Z Riveter Fights The War On Millennial Socks!

Together we can make socks visible again

Jul 31

I Read Fantasy For The Sex Sorry Did I Say Sex I Meant Plot

I Read Fantasy For The Sex Sorry Did I Say Sex I Meant Plot

I’ve never felt so inspired to read

Caroline Cotter

Jul 30

Welcome To The Tour De Skunk

Welcome To The Tour De Skunk

The Tour de France is through now, so I’ve hired newly unemployed Phil Liggett to announce my bicycle ride.

Avery Gregurich

Jul 29

Legends Of The Wahl

Legends Of The Wahl

Pitching new shows for the Wahlberg Televisual Universe

Jul 29

Courtesy, Professionalism, Respect — That Crap Comes Later

Courtesy, Professionalism, Respect — That Crap Comes Later

The NYPD has a tough new slogan

Jul 27

Natalie Portman Was Discovered While Eating Pizza

Natalie Portman Was Discovered While Eating Pizza

Pizza ordering is serious business

Jul 26

Yep, Uh-huh, I Totally Read Infinite Jest

Yep, Uh-huh, I Totally Read Infinite Jest

Oh, you want to talk about the book? Sure can do, thanks to me definitely having read it.

Nick Guadagnino

Jul 25

I Miss The Good Old Days When You Would Go To A Website And Read It

I Miss The Good Old Days When You Would Go To A Website And Read It

This was — oh, it must have been sometime in the late 2000s or early 2010s. The golden age of website articles!

Jul 24

Dating Profiles Of Coffee

Dating Profiles Of Coffee

Boom boom, I’ll make your heart beat

Jul 23

I Am An Unpublished Manuscript Dying For Your Tender Caress

I Am An Unpublished Manuscript Dying For Your Tender Caress

You know you want me on top…of your TBR pile.

Rebecca Anne Nguyen

Jul 22

How I Almost Got A Back-Alley Circumcision

How I Almost Got A Back-Alley Circumcision

My wacky sexual miseducation from a third-grade P.E. teacher

Jul 20

Accepting That Your Water-Proof Eyeliner Isn’t Coming Off

Accepting That Your Water-Proof Eyeliner Isn’t Coming Off

Making peace with the inevitable

Jul 19

As A Fan Of The Office, I Think Biden Should Drop Out Of The 2024 Election

As A Fan Of The Office, I Think Biden Should Drop Out Of The 2024 E...

An open letter to a president whose time has come.

Jul 19

FAQs About Sending Your Jewish Child To A Christian Preschool

FAQs About Sending Your Jewish Child To A Christian Preschool

Q: Will my child become obsessed with Jesus? A: At first, no…

Jul 18

Advice To My Future Self From My Present Self

Advice To My Future Self From My Present Self

First of all, congratulations on becoming a mega-multi-millionaire.

Jul 17

Should I Eat This Food That Was Left In The Break Room At Work? A Flowchart

Should I Eat This Food That Was Left In The Break Room At Work? A F...

A flowchart that asks and answers the tough questions.

Jul 16

The Broken Breaking News!

The Broken Breaking News!

You’re not going to believe this

M. Nathan Robinson

Jul 15

I’m The Leftover Spaghetti You Tossed In The Trash!

I’m The Leftover Spaghetti You Tossed In The Trash!

Your culinary incompetence has shattered my dreams.

Jul 13

Me And Julio Now Must Legally Remain 500 Feet Away From The Schoolyard

Me And Julio Now Must Legally Remain 500 Feet Away From The Schoolyard

Mama Pajama, I am so, so sorry.

Jul 12

Kung Fu Pope II: Rise Against The Sexbots, The Movie Trailer

Kung Fu Pope II: Rise Against The Sexbots, The Movie Trailer

Don’t miss this season’s most Catholic-packed experience

Jul 11

The State Of My Dancing

The State Of My Dancing

When I plié, instead of gently bending my knees, I leap like a startled cat and knock myself out when my head hits the ceiling.

Jul 10

I’m Beyond Grateful To Be Your BFF Whenever You’re In Between Relationships

I’m Beyond Grateful To Be Your BFF Whenever You’re In Between Relat...

Haters gonna hate.

Jul 10

An Open Letter To My Eleven-Year-Old Self: You Do Not, In The End, Turn Out To Be Very Much Like…

An Open Letter To My Eleven-Year-Old Self: You Do Not, In The End, ...

You turn out more like Jerry Orbach’s nebbish brother

Jul 9

Moving You To BCC

Moving You To BCC

After you arrive here, you’re gonna wish that email had been a meeting.

Jul 8

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