Accepting That Your Water-Proof Eyeliner Isn’t Coming Off
Making peace with the inevitable
Whether you’re swimming in style or crying at work, waterproof eyeliner comes in handy in a variety of situations. Unfortunately, water-proof eyeliner is often so effective that a makeup wipe won’t touch it. After spending hours washing your face, you may need to accept that your eyes are permanently rimmed with black. Instead of buying yet another brand of makeup remover that doesn’t work, learn to accept your new reality one step at a time.
Step 1: Be Fashionable
You can remedy the situation by wearing large sunglasses at all times. If somebody at work asks you to take them off, let them know that you have a painful and highly contagious eye infection, and the only way you can stop it from spreading is to keep your eyes covered at all times. If you need to walk around in the dark, you can carry a small flashlight in your pocket to counter the effects of the sunglasses.
Step 2: Go Beyond 20/20 Vision
But what if you need to wear regular prescription glasses? Easy. Wear them over the sunglasses. That way, you’ll have two layers of protection. Better yet, be like Cyclops from X-Men and get special beam-blocking glasses on top of your prescription glasses on top of your sunglasses. Your mutant power? Layers!
Step 3: The Eyes Have It - Lean Into It
You can also incorporate the eyeliner into your everyday look by wearing a full costume when you leave the house. You could be a pirate with two eyepatches, a raccoon, or an Avril Lavigne impersonator. Reactions may vary based on your profession, but if your skeleton mask isn’t preventing you from performing at work, why should your boss feel the need to get involved?
Step 4: Save Time
You don’t need to put on more makeup when you go out, and you’ll be the most stylish resident at the nursing home. The workers at the funeral parlor won’t even need to do your makeup in your coffin. You’ll be all set to go!
Step 5: Get Creative
In some instances, you might encounter a situation where you can’t wear smudgy eyeliner and you must show your face. Maybe you’re getting Lasik eye surgery or you’re being summoned to court. In that scenario, you can always fight fire with fire by adding more makeup. Find an eyeliner that matches your skin tone and draw over the original eyeliner, or buy a pair of fake lashes large enough to cover your eyelids. For an extreme solution, you can tape your eyes open and carry around a spray-bottle of saline, though I’d only recommend this in the short-term. Saline is a bit pricey these days.
Even though you may initially struggle to adjust to permanent smudgy eyeliner, you can still lead a fulfilling life with your new unintentional look. Over time, it may start to grow on you. Build a brand for yourself. Start taking endorsements from Clinique. Pioneer your new identity as an eyeliner trailblazer, until you step outside in the summer and sweat everything off immediately. Oops. That takes care of that. Maybe try a sharpie next time?
