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Bond with your partner over these interesting conversation-starters
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Although conversations and communication are important for a relationship, it’s not uncommon to run out of things to talk about with your girlfriend. Open the conversation with lighthearted questions about her interests, hobbies, or opinions, then dive into deeper and more vulnerable questions when you both feel comfortable. Let’s dive in!

1

Her Hobbies

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  1. Whether you’ve just started dating or you’ve been together for years, one of the best topics is to ask about her favorite hobbies. What is it about her favorite interests that makes her happy? How did she first discover that she liked it? Explore the motivation behind what she loves to do.
    • “What do you like to do in your spare time?”
    • “How did you get into knitting? What do you like most about it?”
    • “Why did you start playing basketball?”
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2

Things You Have in Common

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3

3 Interesting Things That Happened to Her

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  1. Sometimes, just talking about what happened to you that day can spark interesting conversations. List 3 notable moments of your day, or follow the rose, bud, thorn method—talk about something positive that happened, a challenge you experienced that day, and what you’re looking forward to.
    • “What’s the most exciting thing that happened today?”
    • “What was a challenge you encountered today? Is there any way I could support you?”
    • “What are you looking forward to tomorrow?”
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5

What Book or Movie Changed Her Life

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  1. Books and movies can have a transformative power over your life. Whether you’re into fantasy, sci-fi, or non-fiction, finding out if your girlfriend has read or seen something life-changing can be a great gateway into a conversation. Plus, she might give you a good movie or book recommendation.
    • “Have you read a book that’s changed your life? What book was it and why?”
    • “Have you seen a book that’s changed your worldview? How?”
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6

Personality Test Results

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  1. Take a personality test together and talk about the results. Personality quizzes are not only a great way to get to know each other, but they’re also a great way to laugh and have fun together. Try one of these fun personality quizzes with your girlfriend and talk about both of your results:
7

Her Ideal Breakfast Order

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  1. Ask her what her go-to morning meal or coffee order is. Does she prefer pancakes or waffles? Does she love a good pumpkin spice latte? Breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day, so why not ask your girlfriend what her go-to meal is? Plus, her answer might give you everything you need to surprise her with her favorite breakfast later.
    • “What’s your favorite thing to order at a coffee shop?”
    • “If you could eat anything for breakfast, what would it be and why?”
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8

What She Has on Her Bucket List

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  1. Talk about what you both want to do before you die. Everyone has at least 1 thing they’d love to do before they kick the bucket. Talk about some of the things you’d like to do and ask her what she has on her list. This also might be the perfect opportunity to plan a couple of ways to cross off some activities together.
    • “What are 5 things you’d like to do before you die?”
    • “Do you want to travel, learn a new language, or go skydiving?”
    • “What’s the most unusual or surprising item on your bucket list? How did you come up with it?”
9

Her Favorite Smell

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  1. Talk about what smells make her feel most nostalgic. Specific scents can trigger positive memories, lower stress, and increase positive emotions.[2] For example, the smell of freshly baked bread could remind your girlfriend of her mother’s homemade sourdough. To learn a little more about her, ask your girlfriend about her favorite scents and tell her about your own.
    • “What is your favorite smell and why?”
    • “What is a smell that instantly transports you to a specific childhood memory?”
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10

Her Most Significant Role Models

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13

Where She Wants to Travel

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  1. Not only is it fun to think about all the places you’d love to travel to, but learning about your girlfriend’s dream destinations can be the perfect way to learn more about how she travels. If you’ve been together for a while, this could also be a chance to plan your next vacation together.
    • “Where have you always wanted to go?”
    • “Do you like road trips or flights more?”
    • “Would you rather backpack across Europe or go on a cruise?”
    • “Which do you like to do more during a vacation: sightseeing or relaxing?”
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15

Her Favorite Childhood Memories

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  1. Nostalgia is a powerful tool that can help inspire tons of fun stories. Focus on the good times and ask your girlfriend about the best activities or experiences she had as a child.
    • “What were your favorite childhood memories?”
    • “What kind of games did you play growing up?”
    • “What’s your earliest memory?”
    • Reader Poll: We asked 386 wikiHow readers who've struggled with conversation topics, and 62% of them agreed the best topic is something positive. [Take Poll]
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16

What She Wanted to Be When She Grew Up

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  1. Ask what your girlfriend wanted to be when she was a kid. A firefighter? A doctor? A mermaid princess? The answer you get might tell you a lot about what your girlfriend was like as a child. Try asking your girlfriend what career she wanted to pursue when she was a kid and talk about what you wanted to be when you grew up.
    • “What did you want to be when you grew up?”
    • “What careers did you want to pursue as a child?”
17

Her Friends

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  1. Ask your girlfriend who her friends are and what they’re like. The people someone chooses to hang out with can tell you a lot about who they are. Try chatting with your girlfriend about her friends, what they’re like, and who you hang out with the most.
    • “What are your friends like?”
    • “What’s the best memory you’ve ever had with your friends?”
    • “Who would you say is your best friend?”
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18

Her Current Job

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  1. Talk about her current career, motivations, and daily work life. Your job is where you might spend most of your time, so it can be important to ask your girlfriend what she does in the first few weeks of dating her. If you’ve been together for a while now, asking where she’d like to be in the future can also be a great way to get to know each other better.
    • “What drew you to your work?”
    • “What does your day-in-the-life look like?”
    • “Where would you like to be 5 years from now?”
19

The Best Meal She’s Ever Had

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  1. Talk about the best meals you’ve ever tasted and where you had them. Did she have the best spaghetti at a random gas station? Is her favorite meal the chicken and dumpling soup her grandmother used to make? Keep the conversation flowing by asking your girlfriend about what kind of foods she loves to eat or what her favorite meal of all time is.
    • “What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?”
    • “What did you grow up eating?”
    • “If you could eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
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25

Why You Started Dating Her

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  1. There’s nothing more magical than how that initial spark turned into a beautiful, loving relationship. To make her feel appreciated and special, try telling your girlfriend what you were thinking when you met her and why you decided to date her in the first place.
    • “Do you remember when we met? I fell for you instantly. You’re so sweet and kind.”
    • “I remember seeing you at the coffee shop, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful you were.”
    • “When we matched on Tinder, I was so nervous to talk to you. As soon as we started chatting, I knew you were the one for me.”
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26

What You’re Both Passionate About

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  1. Share all the interests you’re most passionate about with her. What are your dreams and motivations? What activities are you super enthusiastic about? Talk all about what you love, and ask your girlfriend what she’s interested in. Even if you don’t like all of the same things, this might be a good way to involve yourself in some of her hobbies and interests.
    • “What are you the most passionate about?”
    • “What interests make you feel the most happy?”
27

What She’s Grateful For

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  1. Ask your girlfriend what she feels the most grateful for. Tons of studies have explored how gratitude can make you happier and improve your relationships.[3] Take the time to tell each other what you’re grateful for to foster positivity and satisfaction in not only your relationship, but your lives.
    • “What do you feel grateful for?”
    • “What are some ways that you cultivate gratitude?”
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28

What You’ve Learned Recently

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  1. Share something you’ve learned about in the past week. Relationships are all about learning and growing together. If you’ve heard something interesting during the past couple of days, this could be a good opportunity to talk about it with your girlfriend.
    • “I just learned that jellyfish have been around for millions of years, even before dinosaurs. Isn’t that cool?”
    • “What’s an interesting fact you’ve learned this week?”
29

The Worst Haircut She’s Gotten

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  1. Make your girlfriend laugh by talking about the worst haircuts you’ve ever had. Ever had a haircut you regretted as soon as you walked out of the salon? Tell your girlfriend all about it, and ask what the worst haircut she ever had looked like. Don’t be afraid to give tons of detail—did you accidentally fry your hair with bleach? Did you get a really bad buzz cut?
    • “What’s the worst haircut you’ve ever gotten?”
    • “Have you ever tried to cut your own hair as a kid? How did it turn out?”
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31

How She’d Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

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34

What She Thinks about Artificial Intelligence

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35

Her Beliefs about the Afterlife

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  1. For a deeper, more personal discussion, try asking your girlfriend about her spiritual and religious beliefs. As you open up the conversation into more controversial territory, make sure to respond to your girlfriend’s opinions and beliefs with kindness and curiosity.
    • “Do you believe in the concept of an afterlife?”
    • “Do you think there’s a God?”
    • “What do you think the afterlife looks like?”
    • “What are your spiritual beliefs?”
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36

How She Wants People to Remember Her

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  1. Ask your girlfriend what legacy she wants to leave behind after she passes on. Talking about how you’d like people to remember you after you’ve died can be a great way to talk about what you want to do while you’re still here.
    • “How do you want other people to remember you after you’ve died?”
    • “What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?”
37

The Meaning of Life

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  1. Debate about what you think the meaning of life is. Is it to have fun and enjoy the time you have? Is it to do the right thing? Is it the number 42? This is a little bit of a cheesy question, but it can be a great way to pass the time when you’ve both run out of things to talk about.
    • “What do you think the meaning of life is?”
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38

Her Family

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  1. Talk about what your family members are like and how you grew up. If you haven’t asked your girlfriend already, ask her about what her family is like. You could ask which family member she’s closest to, if she has siblings, or what her upbringing was like.
    • “What’s your family like?”
    • “Do you have any siblings? What about cousins?”
    • “Which family member are you the closest with? What’s your favorite memory of them?”
39

Her Opinions on Current Events

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  1. Ask her opinions on political issues or current events. Politics can be a difficult subject, but if you’ve been together for a while, it can help you understand the other person’s morals and values. Ask your girlfriend tons of clarifying questions and try to be open to her opinions, even if you may not agree.
    • “What’s your opinion on climate change?”
    • “Which political party do you most align with?”
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40

Your Favorite Memories Together

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43

What Makes Her Feel Safe

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  1. One of the most basic human needs is the feeling of safety and stability in a person’s own surroundings.[4] In times of fear or stress, your significant other might seek out certain habits or behaviors to feel safer. Ask your girlfriend about what she turns to when she feels scared or unstable.
    • “What makes you feel safe and secure?”
    • “Do you find more safety in your spirituality or in physical reminders of safety (locks on your doors, a warm soft blanket, etc.)?”
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45

How She Deals with Conflict

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  1. Does your girlfriend shut down and avoid conflict at all costs? Does she blow up in anger? Learning how your girlfriend responds to conflict might help you figure out how to resolve differences in a healthy way and build a more strong, rewarding relationship together.[6]
    • “How do you deal with conflict?”
    • “How do you know when to let an argument go?”
    • “Do you use humor to resolve conflict?”
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46

How She Relaxes after a Long Day

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  1. Talk about what you both do to unwind and relax in times of stress. Does she like to take a hot bubble bath? Does she go for a walk in nature? Talking openly about what the two of you do to relax after a long day can help you read when each of you is stressed and know exactly what to do to help.
    • “What’s your favorite thing you like to do when you need to unwind and de-stress?”
    • “Do you prefer to go out with friends or enjoy a night in after a long day of work?”
    • “What are your favorite ways to take care of yourself when you’re stressed?”
47

Your Feelings

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  1. Speak openly about the way you feel about your girlfriend. Being vulnerable and sharing your feelings is important for creating emotional intimacy and connection with your partner.[7] Whether you’d like to express your love for your girlfriend, talk about your days together, or initiate physical touch by holding hands, talking about your emotions can be a great way to open up.
    • “I feel so lucky to have you in my life. You make me smile every day.”
    • “I really enjoy the time we’ve spent together, and I’m looking forward to where this relationship takes us.”
    • “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
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48

What Her Intimate Preferences Are

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  1. Ask her what she likes or dislikes in the bedroom. Intimacy can be a difficult topic to approach casually, but if you’re both lying together in bed, it might be a great way to give her space to talk about your intimate time together. Give her plenty of space to communicate her feelings and emphasize that you’d like her to feel safe and satisfied in your relationship.
    • “What do you like most when it comes to intimacy?”
    • “What unexplored fantasies do you have?”
    • “Is there anything I could do better in bed?”
    Emily Morse
    Emily Morse, Author & Sex Therapist

    Embrace intimacy as a conversation topic. "I encourage people to look at sex as something that you get to embrace. You get to decide what works for you, and do your own research with your body."


49

How to Improve Your Relationship Together

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  1. Have a conversation about how you can make your relationship better. In a healthy relationship, it’s important to cultivate a space where you and your partner can make each other feel safe, heard, and not judged.[8] Whether it’s quality time, communication, or maintaining healthy boundaries, talk about what aspects of your relationship you’d like to work on.
    • “What are areas of our relationship that could be improved?”
    • “What do you think we could do to make our relationship even stronger?”
    • Try using “I” statements to share your thoughts in a non-aggressive way. Instead of saying “I hate it when you don’t do the dishes,” say “When I come home from a long day at work and see dirty dishes in the sink, I feel unappreciated.”
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51

If She Wants to Have Children

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  1. If you’ve already talked about whether or not you’d like to have kids, ask her about what she’d like your future together to look like. If you haven’t talked about it yet, ask your girlfriend when you’re in a calm, comfortable setting, and be honest with her about your desires and goals.
    • “Do you want to have children someday?”
    • “How many children would you like to have and how do you want to raise them?”
    • “If we don’t have kids, what would you like the future to look like?”
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52

Your Boundaries

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  1. While it’s usually best to set boundaries early on in your relationship, establishing healthy rules can help strengthen a relationship at any stage.[9] Tell your girlfriend what you need from her and clearly communicate your boundaries.[10]
    • “I get frustrated when I don’t get enough alone time because that’s how I recharge after a long day. I would like at least 30 minutes after work to recharge.”
    • “I feel embarrassed when you joke about me to your friends. I would like you to stop.”
53

Your Previous Relationships

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54

Her Biggest Fears

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  1. Talk about your biggest fears and phobias. Fear is an incredibly vulnerable topic that can give you more insight into your girlfriend’s inner world. Before asking her questions, try opening up about some of your biggest fears to give her the confidence to open up about hers.
    • “What’s your biggest fear?”
    • “What were you afraid of as a child?”

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About This Article

John Keegan
Reviewed by:
Dating Coach
This article was reviewed by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Cheyenne Main. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 317,091 times.
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Co-authors: 7
Updated: November 1, 2024
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