This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara and by wikiHow staff writer, Amy Bobinger. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
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If you’re attracted to a girl, you've probably have thought about making out with her. Before you kiss her, flirt with her to see if she’s open to kissing you, and if she is, then go for it! Whether it's your first kiss or you've already been dating the girl for awhile, amp up your next makeout session with these tips!
Steps
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Put effort into looking and smelling nice. She’ll notice if you take the time to style your hair and put on a nice outfit. It’s also a good idea to spritz on a little cologne or body spray — but not too much, since this can be overwhelming.
- Brush your teeth and floss before you meet up with a girl you'd like to kiss.
- You don't necessarily have to dress up, depending on the situation. Do make sure your clothes are clean and wrinkle-free.
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Keep mints or gum handy. Don’t let bad breath kill the mood. Keep a small tin of mints in your pocket so you can freshen up your breath before you get close. If you chew gum, remember to spit it out before the kiss![1]
- As a bonus, popping a mint during a conversation can give the girl a hint that you're interested in kissing her!
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Spend time talking before the kiss. Let her know you’re interested in what she has to say, even if you just met her. Ask her questions about herself, and really listen to her answers.[2] As you get to know her better, try to find out more about the things she really likes.
- Keep the conversation light. Try saying something like “Tell me more about where you’re from.”
- If she mentions a pet, ask her if she has any pictures on her phone. People love talking about their animals!
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Make eye contact with her while you’re talking. Eye contact is one of the most universal signs of flirting, and it can actually make her feel closer to you. If she says something cute or funny, look into her eyes as you laugh.[3]
- Hold the eye contact for a few seconds and then look away. If you stare at her for too long, you might start to look creepy.
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Touch her arm as you compliment her.[4] A light touch to the arm or face paired with a compliment will let her know that you’re interested in her. Be sure to be sincere in your compliments — if you love the way she smiles or the way her eyes sparkle, tell her.[5]
- Try to think of something that other people wouldn’t notice. For instance, if she has striking blue eyes, she’s probably been complimented on them her whole life. You’ll score extra points if you tell her the freckles across her nose are adorable instead.
- Avoid compliments about her figure, which might make her feel self-conscious and uncomfortable.
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Ask her if you can kiss her, if you’re unsure. If she’s leaning towards you and gazing into your eyes with her lips slightly parted, you might feel confident that she wants you to kiss her without asking. However, if you’re not sure, go ahead and ask.[6]
- Try touching her on the face and saying, “I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.”
- If she says yes, go for it! If she says no, show her that you’re mature and respectful by backing off.
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Tilt your head slightly and lean close to her face. If she tilts her head one way, you should tilt your head the opposite way to avoid bumping noses. Start with a gentle tilt of only a few inches.
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Kiss her softly but firmly. There are plenty of kissing techniques, but the real trick to a great make out session is to let it escalate slowly. By starting slow, you leave room for the kiss to build. She’ll probably send you signals that she wants you to kiss her more deeply, like leaning closer to you or putting her hands on your arms, shoulders, or face.[7]
- If you like, you can touch her cheek or her hair as you kiss.
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Break the kiss after a few seconds, then kiss her again. The first kiss should be long enough to be intimate, but try stopping after about 10 seconds. Pull back just far enough to look into her eyes and smile. If she’s smiling and seems comfortable, lean in for another kiss.[8]
- If she seems hesitant or uncomfortable, stop kissing her and ask her if everything is okay. She may have something on her mind that she wants to talk about, or she may not want to continue kissing. Be respectful of whatever she has to say.
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Prepare for the kiss. Gently French kiss her by touching her tongue with yours. Once you are both fully relaxed and enjoying kissing, you can amp things up by adding a little tongue. You never want to be too aggressive with a French kiss, so try to just use the tip of your tongue in a natural way.[9]
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Kiss her neck and ears. The neck is an extremely sensitive area, and kissing it will feel nice to her. Vary your make out session by placing a few soft kisses on her neck or just behind her ears.
- Don’t kiss her neck too hard or you might leave a hickey!
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Use your hands. Making out should involve more than just your mouths. Start out by putting your hands around her waist, or place one hand on the back of her head to keep her close to you.[10]
- Explore her body as it feels natural, but take your time. If you go too far too fast, she might become uncomfortable.
- Don't touch her in any intimate places, unless you have her permission. She may indicate that she wants you to do so by placing your hands there, telling you, or touching you in your intimate areas. If you're not sure, ask.
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Follow her lead. As you’re making out, pay attention to her behavior. You can use her body language to tell when it’s time to stop kissing.
- Is she pulling away a little and holding back as she kisses you? She might feel like it’s time to wrap up the makeout session.
- If she’s pressing her body into yours and using her hands on you, she probably wants to keep making out.
Kiss Like a Pro with this Expert Series
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you flirt with compliments?Imad JbaraImad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
Dating CoachWhen you want to flirt with a compliment, touch the person's arm as you deliver the compliment. This will help them recognize that you're being flirty and not just nice. -
QuestionWhenever you're kissing a girl do you slowly take off her bra?Amy GremillionCommunity AnswerNo, not unless she lets you know that she wants you to do that. Try to just enjoy the act of kissing without worrying if it goes further than that.
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QuestionWhat is better: French kissing or making outAmy GremillionCommunity AnswerFrench kissing and making out usually refer to the same thing. Either way, they're both a lot of fun!
Video
Tips
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Remember, just because a girl consents to making out with you doesn’t mean she’s giving you permission to do anything else. Just enjoy the kissing and see where it leads naturally.Thanks
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Relax! Kissing is natural and fun, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
- As things heat up, touch her waist, face or run your hands through her hair to pull her close. Stroke wherever feels natural, but don't get handsy too fast without her enthusiastic go-ahead. Taking it slow builds trust and comfort.
- Ask open-ended questions about topics she seems excited about to get the conversation flowing. Actively listen when she answers so she feels heard. Most people perk up when asked about their hobbies, travels or furry friends.
- Compliment something unique you notice, like her pretty eyes, infectious laugh or creative style. Thoughtful compliments make people feel special. Best to avoid body comments though, as those could cause awkwardness.
- For French kissing, lightly brush tongues at first to ease into it. Also try delicate kisses along her neck, as this area tends to be extra sensitive. Pay attention to signals that she's enjoying the make out sesh.
- When leaning in for the first kiss, gently tilt your head so your noses don't bump. Start soft and slow–this builds tension. Pick up cues from her body language on taking things further.
- When talking, look into her eyes now and then and smile warmly before glancing away. Eye contact shows you're interested in connecting. Just don't stare too long or it gets uncomfortable!
Warnings
- Always get consent before you kiss someone. Even if you think you're sure, it never hurts to ask.Thanks
References
- ↑ http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a3460/how-to-kiss/
- ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ http://time.com/59786/how-to-flirt-backed-by-scientific-research/
- ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ http://time.com/59786/how-to-flirt-backed-by-scientific-research/
- ↑ http://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/advice/a9171/how-to-kiss-well/
- ↑ http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a3460/how-to-kiss/
- ↑ https://www.mensfitness.com/women/sex-tips/13-kissing-techniques-ignite-your-sex-life
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/35_love_tip.html
About This Article
Before making out with a girl, chew some gum or eat a mint to freshen your breath. When you’re both feeling relaxed and comfortable, get close, make eye contact, and tell her you want to kiss her. If she’s okay with it, lean in and give her a gentle kiss. If she enjoyed the first kiss, go for another one. Slowly increase the intensity of the kisses, but check in with her to make sure she’s okay with what you’re doing. Don’t forget to use your hands, too. For example, try stroking her hair or putting your hands on her waist. But follow her lead and don’t touch her anywhere she’s not comfortable with. If you want to learn more, like how to use your tongue or hands during the kiss, keep reading the article!
Reader Success Stories
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"I just succeeded in getting a girl I really like to date me. I kissed her briefly today, and this article will come very handy for future reference. Very helpful."..." more