How to Approach Your Parents About Wearing Diapers for Bedwetting

Co-authored by Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Last Updated: April 25, 2024 References

If you've been wetting the bed, you're not alone. Many older children, teens, and even adults have this problem. It's not your fault, and you do have a right to get help for it, both from your parents and your doctor. Approach your parents with your request as soon as you can, and also, you can try a few other techniques to reduce the likelihood of wetting the bed.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Starting the Conversation

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1
Figure out what you're going to say. It's a good idea to think about what you're going to say ahead of time. That way, you'll be prepared for the conversation, and you won't be as nervous when it comes time to talk to your parents.^{[1]
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- It's a good idea to think about what you're feeling and how that can help you talk about what you want. For instance, if you're tired of wetting the bed, you may be feeling frustrated or embarrassed, and that can help you talk about why you want to wear diapers.
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Have a practice discussion. Once you've figured out what you want to say, it's time to figure out how you want to say it. One way to do that is to practice the conversation. Take some time to write out exactly what you want to say, and try saying it out loud to a mirror.^{[2]
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- Start with the topic at hand: "Mom and Dad, I still wet the bed, and I'd like to talk to you about wearing diapers."
- Move on to your feelings. You want to talk about your feelings and how that affects what you're saying: "It's both frustrating and embarrassing to wake up wet in the middle of the night. I think diapers will help with this problem."
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Choose the right time. You don't want to talk to your parents when they're rushing out the door or trying to cook dinner. Rather, you need to pick a time when they have a chance to actually sit down and listen to you. The best way to figure out a good time is to simply ask them.^{[3]
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- You could say, "Hey, Mom, I'd like to have a serious discussion with you. When can we sit down and talk?"
- Don't put it off. Because you may feel embarrassed, you may be tempted to put off the conversation. However, the sooner you talk to your parents about it, the quicker you can get to a solution, such as wearing diapers to keep you dry at night.^{[4]
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Bring up the subject. You may want to get around saying it by bringing up other topics or going about it in a roundabout way. However, it's best to just let your parents know what's wrong, so you can get the help you need. If you aren't clear and direct about what you want, your parents may not understand.^{[5]
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- You could say, "You may or may not know that I still wet the bed. It's become more of a problem for me. I'd like to start wearing diapers to help take care of the problem."

Part 2

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Communicate Effectively

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Be open and direct. Explain your reasoning. If you've been hiding the fact that you're wetting the bed, you may need to give a little bit of explanation. Just let them know what's been going on so they can understand your request better.^{[6]
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- You could say, "It's really embarrassing for me to talk about, but I'm still wetting the bed 2 to 3 times a week. I've been hiding it from you because I was so embarrassed."
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Stay calm. It can be hard to stay calm when you're embarrassed or upset. You may be tempted to start ranting or stomp off to the other room if the conversation doesn't go your way. However, staying calm is a much better way to get to the goal you want.^{[7]
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- It's okay if you do get upset. The important thing is not to take it out on your parents. It's fine to cry or feel sad, but don't yell, scream, or argue with your parents. It won't help the situation.
- If you feel yourself getting upset, try counting to 10 in your head or taking a few deep, calming breaths.
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Speak clearly. Try not to run your words together or mumble to yourself. You don't need to be embarrassed, and speaking clearly will help you get your point across. Try not to be embarrassed at all. Lots of kids and teens have this problem, so you're not alone. Plus, your parents probably already have an idea about what's going on, and they'll be happy to help you find a solution like wearing diapers.^{[8]
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- To speak clearly, speak up, and try to say your words slowly and distinctly. Look at your parents so they have your facial expressions to help understand what you're saying.
- Your parents might look worried, but that's not because they think what you're asking is wrong. Rather, they're probably just trying to figure out how to help you.
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Actively listen. Your parents need a chance to ask you questions and to talk about what's going on. Don't just override what they're trying to say. Listen to their questions and concerns, and answer anything they ask you as honestly as you can.
- For example, your parents may say, "Why haven't you told us about this earlier?" You could say, "I was too embarrassed."
- Your parents may also say, "Why do you think diapers are the best solution? What other solutions do you think might be good?"
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Work together to find a solution. Diapers may be a good solution for you. However, your parents may have other options, as well. It's best to keep an open mind about what will work best for you. Work with your parents to talk about the best way to solve your problem.^{[9]
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- If your parents seem to be saying they don't think diapers are a good option, ask them what else they suggest. You could say, "You seem to think diapers aren't right. What else can we use instead?"

Part 3

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Dealing With Bedwetting

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One factor in bedwetting is how much you drink before bed. If you're a deep sleeper and you drink a lot of water or other liquids before bed, your kidneys may produce more urine than is appropriate for the size of your bladder, meaning you wet the bed. Try to cut back on drinking liquid for a couple of hours before bed.
Another thing you can do to help is to always make sure to go to the bathroom before you go to sleep. Emptying your bladder before you go to bed can reduce the likelihood of going to the bathroom while you're asleep.
Set your alarm, or have your parents do it, to wake you up in the middle of the night. Aim for waking up twice, so that you can get up and go the bathroom, reducing your risk of wetting the bed. You can also ask your parents to wake you up before they go to sleep if they go to bed later than you do.
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Try other options to keep the bed dry. While diapers are one option, another option is plastic pants (usually with cloth diapers) or pants that have a waterproof exterior. These pants can be a good option because they keep the bed dry, and they also signal to you when you need to get up. It can help train you to figure out when you should be getting up in the night.
- A third option is bed pads. These pads come in washable and disposable forms, and they protect the bed from any wetness. However, your clothes will still get wet if you're not wearing plastic pants or diapers.
5
Ask your parents to take you to the doctor. Your doctor can help you figure out if there's something causing your bedwetting. If you can solve the problem medically, then you don't need to wear diapers. Don't be embarrassed to talk to your doctor. That is what your doctor is there for, and many people have the same issue.
- Your doctor may feel differently about diapers than you do. Some people feel diapers make the issue worse because you're not actually changing anything about the bedwetting. However, if wearing diapers makes you more comfortable and your parents agree, then it is what you should do.
- Understand the problem may fade away on its own. While you still should see a doctor, it's important to know that many kids and teens grow out of this problem. Therefore, you may find that it fixes itself on its own, and you won't wet the bed anymore as you get older.

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Many different types of diapers are available to help you manage your bedwetting, but two kinds of diapers are particularly well suited for bedwetting: disposable briefs with tape tabs and pin-on cloth diapers covered with plastic pants.

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The articles Choose Bedwetting Diapers for an Older Child or Teenager and Choose Pin‐On Cloth Diapers for Older Children and Teenagers With Bedwetting Problems talk about these types of diapers in greater detail, including the advantages of using them for bedwetting.

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