Report Card
Lesson: Medicine Practice Test 2: ASSESSMENT
Score
#2
Student Name: Juliana Porto
Email Address: juliananesiporto@gmail.com
56/63
Your Response
27/01/2021
Dr D Kurac
Surgeon
North-western Weight Loss Surgery
393 Victorian Road
Plumpton
Dear Dr Kurac,
Re: Andy Williams, aged 65 years
I am writing to refer Mr Andy Williams for further evaluation and possible treatment regarding his obesity.
Mr Williams, on 15/06/2019 consultation, presented with a BMI of 46.6 kg/m2. He is 183 cm tall and weights 155,5 kg. He
has type 2 diabetes, hypertension and sleep apnea, for which he takes lisopronil, nifedipine and NPH insulin 30 units
before breakfast and 70 units at night.
On last blood exam, Mr William´s A1c was within normal range and his trtglyceride was high. His father and sister have
obesity and he has been having the disorder since childhood, with a steady increase of weight throught the decades,
reaching the highest weight in adulthood.
He has enrolled in commercial and medical weight-loss programs but regained the weight after discontinuing the progrmas.
Currently, he eats 3 large meals per day with dinner being his largest meal, at 8:30 pm. He consumes fast-food 4 times a
month and drinks no alcochol. Binge eating was reported and triggered by stress.
Mr Williams is concerned about his health and wants to learn about surgical options, although he was reluctant regarding
weight-loss surgery in the pass due to posible complications. He is now ready to consider surgical approach if you
recommend it.
In view of the above, I would apreciate if you could evaluate Mr Williams for a posible bariatric surgery.
Please let me know should you have any queries,
Yours sincerely,
Doctor.
Teacher’s Corrections
27/01/2021
Dr D Kurac
Surgeon
North-western Weight Loss Surgery
393 Victorian Road
Plumpton
Dear Dr Kurac,
Re: Andy Williams, aged 65 years
I am writing to refer Mr Andy Williams for further evaluation and possible treatment regarding his obesity.
Mr Williams,IRR on 15/06/2019 consultation, presented with a BMI of 46.6 kg/m2. IRRHe is 183 cm tall and weights 155,5
kg. He has type 2 diabetes, hypertension and sleep apnea, for which he takes lisopronil, nifedipine and NPH insulin IRR 30
units before breakfast and 70 units at night.
On last blood exam, Mr William´s A1c was within normal range and his trtglyceride was high. His father and sister have
obesity and he V has been having the disorder since childhood, with a steady increase of weight through the decades,
reaching the highest weight in adulthood.
He has enrolled in commercial and medical weight-loss programs but regained the weight after discontinuing the
SPprogrmas. Currently, he eats 3 large meals per day with dinner being his largest meal, at 8:30 pm. He consumes fast-
food 4 times a month IRRand drinks no alcochol. Binge eating was reportedP and triggered by stress.
Mr Williams is concerned about his health and wants to learn about surgical options, although he was reluctant regarding
weight-loss surgery in the pass due to posible complications. He is now ready to consider surgical approach if you
recommend it.
In view of the above, I would SP apreciate if you could evaluate Mr Williams for a SP posible bariatric surgery.
PleaseWC let me know should you have any queries,
Yours sincerely,
Doctor.
Correction Code
Please use the code below to fix specific grammatical / vocabulary errors in your writing. It’s up to you to fix the errors we
have identified. It’s the best way to quickly improve.
NOUNS PUNCTUATION
+S = add s to noun P = check punctuation
-S = delete s from noun
WORD CHOICE
PREPOSITIONS WC = wrong word choice
PREP = wrong preposition
WORD FORM
ARTICLES WF = word form
A / AN / THE = add article
-a / -an / -the = delete article WORD ORDER
WO = word order/sentence structure
VERBS
V = verb error MISSING WORD
+S = add s to he/she/it verbS ^ = missing word
SPELLING IRRELEVANT CASE NOTE/S
SP = check spelling IRR = irrelevant case note/s
Score Details
1) Purpose
1A) The purpose of your letter is immediately apparent High / Medium / Low
1B) The purpose of your letter is sufficiently expanded High / Medium / Low
Comments
1A) Very clear.
1B) Well managed.
2) Content
2A) The content of your letter is appropriate to the intended reader High / Medium / Low
2B) The content of your letter addresses what is needed to continue care High / Medium / Low
2C) The content of your letter accurately represents the case notes High / Medium / Low
Comments
2A) Great. You wrote the letter with the recipient in mind.
2B) Clear.
2C) Accurate interpretation.
3) Conciseness and Clarity
3A) The length of your letter is appropriate to the case and reader (you only included relevant information; you did not
exclude any important information) High / Medium / Low
3B) You summarise information effectively High / Medium / Low
3C) You clearly present information High / Medium / Low
Comments
3A) Although the OET word count is flexible, ideally, the body of your letter should be approximately 180-200 words. Most
important is that you include relevant information, and to a lesser extent, that you exclude irrelevant information. If you got a
low score here you may have included too many irrelevant details or left out some important information.
3B) In order to be concise, you need to summarise the relevant information efficiently and effectively.
3C) Clear.
4) Genre and Style
4A) Your writing is clinical and factual High / Medium / Low
4B) Your writing is appropriate to the reader’s discipline and knowledge High / Medium / Low
4C) You use technical terms, abbreviations and polite language appropriately for the reader High / Medium / Low
Comments
4A) Clinical and factual.
4B) Considered.
4C) Technical terms and abbreviations are fine if your reader is able to understand them, although try to keep them to a
minimum. Your language should also be appropriately polite and formal. You may need to consider the 'status' of the
reader and whether your knowledge is greater than his/hers
5) Organisation and Layout
5A) Your letter organisation is appropriate, logical and clear High / Medium / Low
5B) Your letter highlights key information High / Medium / Low
5C) Your letter subsections are well organised High / Medium / Low
5D) Your letter is well laid out High / Medium / Low
Comments
5A) Well organised.
5B) Well structured.
5C) Well organised paragraphs.
5D) Well laid out.
6) Language
6A) Your overall language use makes meaning clear High / Medium / Low
6B) Your vocabulary is precise so your meaning is clear High / Medium / Low
6C) Your grammar is accurate so your meaning is clear High / Medium / Low
6D) Your sentence structures are accurate and so your meaning is clear High / Medium / Low
6E) Your spelling is accurate High / Medium / Low
6F) Your punctuation is accurate High / Medium / Low
Comments
6A) Clear.
6B) Precise.
6C) You should use grammar that makes your meaning as clear as possible. You do not need to use a 'variety' of 'fancy'
grammar. Clarity is key. You may want to watch the following lessons:
Present verbs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ylF0KRL7tw
Past verbs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofPn6XL5LkU
Active vs Passive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luGbWWz5I2E&t=1071s
Articles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbIXbBAVJ9E&t=900s
6D) Accurate.
6E) Please work on your spelling.
6F) Please work on your punctuation.
Next Steps
Please carefully note the errors you have made. Rewrite to fix the errors. Pay careful attention to the HIGH, MEDIUM and
LOW scoring. Remember: This is the same scoring system as the test.
Further Study Recommendations
My recommendation for you to take a 1:1 tutorial to discuss your issues in more depth and to receive live corrective
feedback is:
High
