BRITISH CHARACTER AND ETIQUETTE

1. Trần Thị Vệ Thiên

2. Ngô Thị Ánh Quy
3. Phạm Nguyễn Thanh Thảo
4. Nguyễn Thị Diệu
5. Đinh Thị Phương Linh

II.3. BRITISH CHARACTER

- Peoples in the four lands of the UK each have their own special characters. Welsh
and Scottish people feel their nationality identity very strongly, and value their
national heritage. The preservation of Welsh language is an example of this.
- Because English culture dominates the cultures of the other three nations, everyday
habits, attitudes, and values among the peoples of the four nations are very similar.
However, they are not identical, so that sometimes it is hard to know whether one is
describing the British as a whole or just the English.

I.3.1. SOCIAL DIS-EASE

- The core of Englishness is ‘social dis-ease’, which she defines as the lack of ease,
discomfort and incompetence in the field of social interaction and general inability to
engage in a normal and straightforward fashion with other human beings.
- Symptoms: over-politeness, restraint, obsession with privacy and hooliganism.
- Temporary solutions include games, pubs, clubs, weather-speak, cyberspace, pets,
alcohol and rituals.
Key phrases include: ‘An Englishman’s home is his castle’; ‘Nice day, isn’t it?’;
‘Oi -what you looking at?’; ‘Mind your own business’; ‘I don’t like to pry, but . . .’;
‘Don’t make a fuss/scene’; ‘Don’t draw attention to yourself’; ‘Keep yourself to
yourself’; ‘’Ere we go, ’ere we go’; ‘Enger-land! Enger-land! Enger-land!’

II.3.2. BRITISH RESERVE

- Most Brits are rather private people who like to ‘keep themselves to themselves’ (the
leave others alone and want to be left alone).
- It is considered rude to ask somebody about their private life, even if you know them
well.
- Nosy neighbours, sometimes called Nosey Parkers, peep out from behind their own
curtains to see what others are doing. When several people share a house, each
person’s room is considered their own private place, and anyone else is expected to
knock before entering.
- A person’s private place often includes their car, and because of this people often do
not like to give lifts to others.
Key phrases include: ‘Mind your own business’; ‘Don’t pry’; ‘Keep ourselves to
ourselves’; ‘Don’t make a scene’; ‘Don’t wash your dirty linen in public’; ‘Keep your
voice down, they’ll hear you!’, ‘I’m sure they’re doing their best, dear’, and ‘Nosey
Parker!’ is considered as the biggest insult you can give to an Englishman.

II.3.3. HUMOUR
- The English sense of humour is justifiably renowned. It is seen as a way of coping
with all those awkward interactions required when one is faced with something so
daunting as other people.
- The worst shame of all of British people would be regarded as a person of no sense
of humour.
- Brits often say the opposite to what they mean, and they do so without laughing.
- The English language is very flexible, so native speakers love to play with words in
everyday conversation and banter.

II.3.4. MODERATION
- This relates to avoidance of extremes, excess and intensity of any kind.
- It explains cautiousness, a focus on domesticity, order and security, apathy,
tolerance, tendency to compromise and conservatism, their moderate industriousness
and moderate hedonism.
- They do everything in moderation, except moderation, which they take to ludicrous
extremes.
Key phrases include: ‘Don’t rock the boat’; ‘Don’t go overboard’; ‘Don’t
overdo it’; ‘For the sake of peace and quiet’; ‘Can’t be bothered’; ‘All very well, in
moderation’; ‘Safe and sound’; ‘Order! Order!’; ‘A nice cup of tea’; ‘If it was like
this all the time, we wouldn’t appreciate it’; ‘Over-egging the pudding’; ‘Too much of
a good thing’; ‘Happy medium’

II.3.5. CLASS-CONCIOUSNESS
-The most obvious examples are the monarchy and the House of Lords, but both the
working class and the middle class have a strong voice in Britain today.
-The middle class has grown enormously since the post-war era and now describes
anyone who owns a nice house and has a stable job as well as a little money in the
bank.
- There is also new elite of very rich business tycoons and celebrities.
- Britain has become more like America, where money and influence define social
status more than birth and education.
- Despite social change, most Brits still tend to judge and label others according to
their background, lifestyle and accent.
- If you speak without a regional accent and use educated language, people might call
you “posh” - and this is not generally meant in a nice way!
- Snobbery is a very British characteristic! Snobbery is the tendency to look down on
others because of the job they have, how they dress, which supermarket they use or
where they live, for example. But inverted snobbery - disliking people just because
they are posh - is also extremely common.
- The English class system is different because:

1. It affects taste, behaviour, judgements and interactions in a major way.

2. It is not judged on wealth, and not really on occupation, but on speech, manner,
taste and lifestyle choices.
3. People have excellent ‘class-radar systems’.
4. This class-consciousness is hidden, indirect, unspoken, self-delusional and denied.
Key phrases include: ‘He’s from that sort of background’; ‘Don’t say “serviette”
dear, we call it a napkin’; A bit naff/ common/ nouveau/ flashy/ vulgar/ suburban-
semi/ petit-bourgeois (=middle class); ‘Stuck-up/ hooray/ upper-class twit/ old-
school-tie/ snob/ public school yah-yah (=upper-class);‘…thinks s/he’s better than
us’; ‘What do you expect from a jumped-up grocer’s daughter?’; ‘That nice little man
from the shop’.

II.3.6. FAIR PLAY

- Fair play is often described as “a national quasi-religion obsession”.
- The British accept that there will be winners and losers, but feel that everyone should
be given a fair chance, as long as they observe the rules and do not cheat or shirk from
responsibilities.
- The sense of fair play shows up in everyday life too, round-buying, table manners,
their penchant for compromise, their constant balancing and weighing up of ‘on the
one hand’ and ‘on the other hand’.
- Fair play is expressed perhaps most famously in the British skill and propensity for
queuing. Queuing is practically the national sport, with an unwritten code that
everyone understands. Chief among the rules for queuing is that no one shall ever,
ever, jump the queue.
Key phrases include: ‘Well, to be fair . . .’; ‘In all fairness . . .’; ‘Fair’s fair’;
‘Fair enough’; ‘Firm but fair’; ‘Fair and square’; ‘Wait your turn’; ‘Take turns’; ‘Be
fair’; ‘Live and let live’; ‘On the other hand’; ‘There are always two sides’; ‘On
balance’; ‘Let’s just agree to disagree, shall we?’

II.3.7. COURTESY
- English courtesy seems to be almost entirely a matter of form, of obedience to a set
of rules rather than expression of genuine concern.
- Politeness and respect for privacy are both very important in Britain. The Brits do
not like to “make a scene” and will avoid confrontation unless absolutely necessary,
but likewise, they like people to know they are annoyed in subtle ways. For example,
nobody likes to hear long phone conversations on the train, but the Brits are unlikely
to say anything. They will just shake their heads and tut disapprovingly.
- In Britain, direct communication can be perceived as rudeness or, at worst, even
insulting behaviour
- Indirect communication style is sometimes criticized as hypocrisy, but most of
British hypocrisy is a form of politeness − a concealment of real opinions and feelings
to avoid causing offence or embarrassment.
Key phrases include: ‘Sorry, sorry, sorry’(overused);‘Please’;
‘Thank-you/Cheers/Ta/Thanks’
(every culture has these words, but we use them more); ‘I’m afraid that . . .’; ‘I’m
sorry, but . . .’; ‘Would you mind . . . ?’; ‘Could you possibly . . . ?’; ‘I don’t suppose
you could . . .’; ‘Nice day, isn’t it?’; ‘Yes, isn’t it?’; ‘Excuse me, sorry, but you
couldn’t possibly pass the marmalade, could you?’; ‘Excuse me, I’m terribly sorry but
you seem to be standing on my foot’; ‘With all due respect, the right honourable
gentleman is being a bit economical with the truth’, ‘After you.’. ‘Allow me.’

II.3.8. MODESTY
3.8. MODESTY
- The British are not necessarily more modest than others, but they are scrupulous
about maintaining the appearance of modesty. They are master of understatement.
- English love for moaning also displays a form of English modesty. The moaners by
emphasizing the mundane practical details and difficulties of home-buying or
moving are focusing on problems they and their listeners have in common
Key phrases include: ‘Don’t blow your own trumpet’; ‘Don’t be clever’; ‘Don’t be
pushy’; ‘I do a bit of sport’ (meaning I’ve just won an Olympic medal); ‘Well, I
suppose I know a bit about that’ (meaning I’m the acknowledged world expert on it);
‘Oh, that’s all a bit over my head, I’m afraid’; ‘Not as hard as it looks/I was just
lucky’ (standard response to any praise for personal achievement).
II.3.9. CONSERVATISM
- The British have rather few living folk traditions and are too individualistic to have
many of the same everyday habits as each other.
- This does not mean that they like change. They may not behave in traditional ways,
but they like symbols of tradition
- The British value continuity over modernity for its own sake.
II.3.10. BEING DIFFERENT
- The British can be stubbornly conservative about anything which is perceived as a
token of Britishness. In these matters, their conservatism can combine with their
individualism - they are rather proud of being different.
- For example, very difficult to imagine that they will ever change from driving on the
left-hand side of the road to driving on the right. Britain has so far resisted pressure
from business people to adopt Central European Time, remaining stubbornly one hour
behind; and it continues to start its financial year not, as other countries do, at the
beginning of the calendar year but rather at the beginning of April.
- One trait often associated with the British is a propensity of extreme eccentricity.
The British are particularly prone and proud of eccentricity because in Britain,
individuality, quirkiness and oddity are seen as traits to be valued and eccentrics are
generally regarded with affection if not all-out admiration.
- That is they go out of their way to ensure that they do not interfere with other people,
less culturally inclined to remark on somebody doing something odd and famous
tolerance of non-conformism within society. This allows British people to develop
their little quirks without the risk of public ridicule.

II.3.11. LOVE OF NATURE

- Britain was the first country in the world to appoint a government-sponsored
conservation body (the Nature Conservancy, in 1949) and it was in Britain that the
first large green pressure group was founded (the World Wildlife Fund in 1961, now
the Worldwide Fund for Nature).
- To the British, the countryside has almost none of the negative associations which it
has in some countries. To them, the countryside means peace and quiet, beauty,
health, and no crime.
- Perhaps this love of the countryside is another aspect of British conservatism. The
countryside represents stability..
- Each local authority owns several areas of land which it rents very cheaply to these
people in small parcels. On these ‘allotments’, people grow mainly vegetables.

II.3.12. LOVE OF ANIMALS

- “In Europe people talk to their friends; in Britain they talk to animals.”- George
Mike.
- A survey conducted by the National Children’s Bureau (NCB) shows that 33 percent
of adults have more affection for their animals than their children.
- The British love animals so much that there is a Royal Society for Prevention of
Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA). The British celebrate the 150 th anniversary of the
RSPCA by printing special stamps. Rossendale Memorial Gardens in Lancashire is
just one of more than a hundred animal cemeteries in Britain
- The British tend to have a sentimental attitude to animals. Half of the households in
Britain keep at least one domestic pet.
- Paradoxically, foxhunting has been British tradition for hundreds of years. In a
country of animal lovers, foxhunting is generally regarded with disgust. In fact, in
2004 Parliament voted to make it illegal.
II.4. ETIQUETTE − HOW TO BE POLITE IN BRITAIN
· Definition: Etiquette is the code of polite behaviour in society.
· The British – and the English in particular − have historically been known to place a
great deal of importance in good manners. In Britain good manners were once seen as
proof of a person’s worth, as in the old saying ‘manners maketh man’.
· People still tend to judge others according to how they behave. People may be said
to ‘have no manners’ if they are rude or behave without thought for others.
· On the other hand, a person who is polite and courteous, who is considerate towards
other people, who says little about their own achievements and who respects the
privacy of others, is much more likely to win approval and respect.
II.4.1. PLEASE and THANK YOU
· People generally say ‘please’ whenever they ask for something, whether it is for
goods in a shop, for help, for a favour, or for information.
· People are also taught to say ‘thank you’ or ‘thanks’ when somebody has given them
something or done something for them (even if it is part of their job).
· After receiving a present it is good manners to say ‘thank you’ and sound pleased. It
is also polite to write and say ‘thank you’ after you have been invited out for a meal or
been to stay with somebody.
II.4.2. SMALL TALK − BRITISH ‘CHIT-CHAT’
· Small talk is a casual form of conversation that "breaks the ice" or fills an awkward
silence between people.
· The British usually do not easily get into conversation with strangers. In Britain,
small talk is reserved for social events and gatherings such as at parties or work
functions; or at social places such as bars or cafes.
· There are certain "safe" topics that people usually make small talk about.
· Talking about the weather is always a good starting point, or it will become really
boring.
· Here are some phrases about the weather: Great weather today, isn’t it? / Is it cold
outside? / A lot of rain lately. /Looks like it’s going to snow today.
· At social events, commenting on the surroundings, décor, host or food is a great way
to start up a conversation in Britain. You can try phrases like: Is this your first time
here? / Have you tried the sandwiches yet? / Wow, I just love the chandelier they’ve
chosen. / How do you know the host?
· The news is always a great topic. For example, ‘What do you think about the taxi
driver strike?’ / ‘Did you hear about that new mall opening in Holly square?’
· Traffic, whatever way you are travelling to work or school, there is usually a
comment you can make about your commute, whether positive or negative experience
· Weekend, is a good one for longer chats on a Monday morning with your team or by
lunch. “How was your weekend?” is a valid question between Monday-Wednesday
and on Wednesday you can already start asking “Any plans for the weekend?”
· There are also some subjects that are NOT considered acceptable when making
small talk. Unsafe topics may include money, age, appearance or weight, politics, sex,
religions, and personal relationship. Negative comments about another person not
involved in the conversation are also not acceptable.
· The English do NOT want to know your name, or tell you theirs, until a much
greater degree of intimacy has been established. Don’t ask what someone does for a
living in your first 5 questions.
· It is important that you do not intrude when starting a conversation with someone. If
they do not seem comfortable with or interested in a topic then do not go digging, this
will not endear you to them.
· There are some rules for English weather talks. The reciprocity is the point, not the
content. Another important rule of English weather-speak is the agreement rule:
always agree, ‘you must never contradict anybody when discussing the weather’
(George Mikes).
- ‘Nasty day, isn't it?’ / -‘Isn't it dreadful?’
- ‘The rain . . . I hate rain . . .’ / -‘1 don't like it at all. Do you?’
- ‘Fancy such a day in July. Rain in the morning, then a bit of sunshine, and then rain,
rain, rain, all day long. I remember exactly the same
· The weather-as-family rule exposes a perhaps surprising patriotism in the British
character.
II.4.3. MEETING, GREETING and SAYING GOODBYES
· Good manners do not have to be formal. It is friendly as well as polite to say ‘hello’
or ‘good morning’ to somebody you meet, to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to family
and friends as well as to strangers, and to apologize if you hurt or upset somebody. A
warm tone of voice and a smile are also important.
· People shake hands when they are introduced to somebody for the first time but,
except in business, rarely do so when they meet again.
· In shop and banks, on aircrafts, etc. customers are often addressed respectfully as
‘Sir’ or ‘Madam’ to show that they are important to the company.
· Making introductions (presenting two strangers to each other) is one of the most
common social duties. When introducing people of different sexes, it is polite to say
the woman’s name first.
· But if the man is elderly or famous, then his name or title should be mentioned first.
· It is considered very rude to end the conversation abruptly by saying just “Bye”
because it may give the impression that you do not like talking to the other speaker.
· The British people are too polite to give such a hint, so they must show that they do
not want leave, which results in the long goodbye rule.
· For British people, somehow saying goodbye becomes such a good ordeal that it
normally takes them way longer than the actual conversation.
II.4.4. QUEUEING
- Queuing is taken very serious in British culture. For example, always join the back
of the queue and wait your turn when buying tickets, waiting in a bank, post office or
for a bus or train.
- In some places, like banks and post offices, people wait in big queue instead of in
separate queues at each window.
- In other like pubs and some shops, people do not wait in a line but they do remember
who was there before them and wait for their turn.
- The general rule is that you are next if you were the first person to have arrived in
that queue!
- If you ‘jump the queue’ it is considered very rude and unfair to other people who
have been waiting. Although people may not say anything to you, they will make very
unhappy noises!
II.4.5. TIPs
- A tip is a small amount of money, which you give to someone –a waiter for example
to thank him or her for a service.
- You may want to give a small tip when a member of hotel staff gives you a special
service.
- It is more polite if you do not show the money when you are giving it - put it in your
hand, say thank you, shake the person's hand and press the money into the person's
hand.
- Tips are not normally given in other kinds of accommodation like takeaways, pubs,
garages or cinemas.
II.4.6. NON-VERBAL LANGUAGE and SHOWING AFFECTION
The amount of space people need to feel around them is different in every culture.
- Allowing somebody to get very close and enter your personal space may be a sign of
trust or love.
- Invading a Brit’s space is not only limited to physical contact. Brits are also likely to
consider someone as invading their space if they speak too loudly on their mobile
phone, or, laugh and talk too loudly with friends.
- Because it is important not to seem distracted while being addressed, maintain a
certain amount of eye contact (but do not stare) at the person talking.
- In terms of gestures and facial expressions, keep them small. Over-egging a gesture
can always come across as aggressive behaviour.
- Britain is not a particularly tactile country. British people tend to avoid touching or
being physically close to people outside their own family.
- It is probably true that the British, especially the English, are more reserved than
many people of other countries. They are not very keen on public display of affection
(PDA).
II.4.7. PUNCTUALITY
- Most British and American people would agree that it is good manner to be punctual
(to arrive at the right time) for an appointment.
- Arriving on time for formal events such as a business meeting or interview is
considered important.
- If somebody arrives late for a job interview it may suggest that they are not reliable
or not interested in the job.
- Even in less formal situation people are generally expected to think about the person
they are meeting and not to keep them waiting unnecessarily.
- If somebody does arrive late, they are expected to apologize. Depending on the
circumstances and how late they are.