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10 British Etiquette and Customs you should learn

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. This proverb is so true that Ive gathered 10 British etiquette and
customs that I think international students ought to know. There is a proper way to act in most situations and
the British are sticklers for adherence to protocol.
1) Visiting
In most houses in Britain, the doors are usually kept closed. It is customary to visit people at a pre-arranged
time and day. As a generalization, people are not comfortable if you just drop in. Nevertheless, if someone
says to drop in at anytime, feel free to do so as long as it is not in the middle of the night.
When you go into someones house, do take your hat off (men only). It is impolite for men to wear hats
indoors especially in churches. Nowadays, it is becoming more common to see men wearing hats indoors.
However, this is still seen as being impolite, especially to the older generations
2) Form of Greeting
In Britain the handshake is the common form of greeting. When you meet people for the first time, it is
normal to shake hands. A firm handshake is the norm; there are no issues over gender in Britain. The usual
formal greeting is How do you do? and a firm handshake, but with a lighter touch between men and
women. How do you do? is a greeting not a question & the correct response is to repeat How do you do?
You say this when shaking hands with someone.
In Britain, unlike some other European countries, it is not unusual to embrace or kiss the other person (unless
they are family or a very close friend). The British might seem a little stiff and formal at first but after a while
they will relax as you get to know each other.
Avoid prolonged eye contact when you meet people for the first time, as it might make them feel
uncomfortable. In Britain, there is still some protocol to follow when introducing people in a business or
more formal social situation. Introduce a younger person to an older person, that is, introduce a person of
lower status to a person of higher status. When two people are of similar age and rank, introduce the one you
know better to the other person.
3) Gift Giving Etiquette.
During birthdays and Christmas celebrations, it is common for the British to exchange gifts between family
members and close friends. The gift need not be expensive, but it should usually demonstrate an attempt to
find something that is related to the recipients interests. When invited to someones home, it is normal to
take along a box of good chocolates, a good bottle of wine or flowers. I have found from experience that the
British love chocolates. Note that gifts are opened when received!
4) Queuing
Queuing is a unique part of the British culture. People in Britain usually form a queue or a single line in a
shop, or when they want to buy a ticket with the intention of allowing those who arrived first to be served
first. It is advisable to take your place in the queue and not try to muscle your way to the front as this may
annoy other people in the queue. If you are really in a desperate hurry, people will always let you through to
the front if you ask politely.
5) Punctuality.
The Brits are generally punctual, especially the Scots. The Brits consider it rude and impolite if you turn up
late for an appointment. Punctuality is very important in business situations. In most cases, the people you
are meeting will be on time. Call even if you will be 5 minutes later than agreed. If you have been delayed or
cannot make the appointment, then make an effort to contact the person to let them know. It is a good idea to
telephone and offer your apologies.
6) Dining Etiquette
If invited to a persons house for dinner, ensure you are punctual as already discussed. Do not sit down at
once when you arrive. The host may show you to a particular seat. Table manners are Continental, i.e. the
fork is held in the left hand and the knife in the right while eating.
Do not rest your elbows on the table. When you finish eating, lay your knife and fork parallel across the right
side of your plate. If you have not finished eating, cross your knife and fork on your plate with the fork over
the knife.
If invited to a meal at a restaurant, the person extending the invitation usually pays. Usually Starters will be
served first, followed by the main course, before dessert. When discussing business over dinner, be prepared
to back up your claims with facts and figures. Brits rely on facts, rather than emotions, to make decisions.

7) Making Friends
As mentioned in my post 10 British facts all international students should know, the Brits are generally
friendly and open-minded. It usually takes some effort at first to build relationships, but once built it could
last over a long period of time. One easy way to make friends is to chat with your school mates as the
opportunity presents itself. Attending activities and parties organized by the Student Union is another great
way to make friends and meet new people.
Generally, the Brits are very reserved and private people and their women are accustomed to being
independent. It is considered impolite to ask a lady her age. The two classic signs a lady would like to be left
alone are reading a newspaper or listening to music through headphones. Only interrupt if you actually know
the lady quite well.
In the UK it is deemed okay for a woman or young lady to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes, unlike many
parts of Africa.
8) Tipping
Tipping is not expected in the UK, in the way it is in the United States or Canada, but is much appreciated. It
is not necessary to tip at all in taxis, but it is customary to round up to the nearest pound on metered taxi
journeys, more as a convenience than a tip. On an airport journey in a booked minicab you might wish to tip
two or three pounds if the driver helps with your bags. If taking a metered London taxi from Heathrow the
metered charge will be so high compared to minicabs, that this really is not necessary.
Some restaurants add on an optional service charge to bills, of typically 10% or 12.5%. This should always
be noted in the menu. If you are unhappy with the service you can ask for it to be removed. For parties of six
or more the service charge is sometimes mandatory. If a service charge has been added onto your bill, you
should NOT add any further tip
9) How to Behave in Public Places
It is impolite to stare at people in public places; and spitting in the street is considered to be very bad
mannered. Also try not to pick your nose in a public place. If your nostrils need de-bugging, use a
handkerchief.
Most members of the British public will happily provide you with directions if you approach them politely.
Make sure you are familiar with terms like roundabouts, level crossings, traffic lights, zebra crossings, bus
lanes, contra flow, and, if using any of the motorways, traffic jams.
10) Thank you/ Im Sorry/ Please
The Brits say thank you a lot, even for minor things. If you accidentally bump into someone, say sorry.
They probably will too, even if it was your fault! This is a habit and can be seen as very amusing by an
outsider.
Sometimes the Brits say cheers instead of thank you. You may hear cheers said instead of good bye,
what they are really saying is thanks and bye. There are no absolute rules about when to use polite terms,
but you should certainly use them when shopping or addressing strangers.
British Culture, British Customs and British Traditions
Formal Dining
The greatest single modern business (and social) etiquette failing is not responding to an invitation
to let the host know whether or not you will attend. Respond in writing before the date given on the
invitation, if circumstances stop you from attending always let your host/ess know as soon as
possible.

Eating Manners/Etiquette
In Britain, even today, people are judged by their table manners, especially when eating out or
attending formal functions. There are certain ways you should behave and certain niceties to
observe. These are just a few, from basic manners to some more advanced niceties for formal
occasions.
A popular saying in the UK is "Manners make the man."

Basic Manners
Eating
Things you should do:-
If you are at a dinner party wait until your host(ess) starts eating or indicates you should do
so.
Chew and swallow all the food in your mouth before taking more or taking a drink.
Soup should be spooned away from you. Tilt the bowl away from you.
Break bread and rolls with your fingers not with your knife.
Break off a small piece of bread (or roll and butter it. Do not butter the whole slice or half a
roll at one time.
You may use a piece of bread on a fork to soak up sauce or gravy. Never hold the bread in
your fingers to do this.
Only clear consomme should be drunk directly from the soup bowl, and then only if it has
handles.
You may eat chicken and pizza with your fingers if you are at a barbecue, finger buffet or
very informal setting. Otherwise always use a knife and fork.
Things you should not do:-
Never chew with your mouth open.
Never talk with food in your mouth.
Never put too much food in your mouth.
Never mash or mix food on your plate.
Do not blow on hot food or drink.
Do not sip from a coffee spoon or teaspoon.
Never use your fingers to push food onto your spoon or fork.
Serviettes, crockery, and cutlery.
Things you should do:-
Your serviette should always be placed on your lap. If it is small you may open it out fully. If
it is large it should be kept folded in half with the fold toward you. ( In some of the more
exclusive restaurants the waiter will place your napkin on your lap for you.)
The fork is held in the left hand, the knife in the right to cut food and to help carry food to
the fork. The fork is held, tines down, and the knife used to move food unto the fork or
support food so the fork can pick it up. There is no shifting of cutlery.
When you are finished eating, soup spoons, coffee spoons, and dessert spoons should be
placed on the side plate or saucer, never leave them in the bowl, cup etc. Do not push your
plate away or stack your dishes. Place your knife and fork together in the "twenty past four"
position, as if your plate were the face of the clock, with the knife on the outside and the
fork on the inside. Or place the utensils side by side in the middle of your plate, fork tines
down, knife to the right, sharp blade turned inward toward the fork.
Keep your serviette in your lap until you leave the table.
When you leave the table place your serviette in loose folds at the left side of your plate,
never on top of the plate.
Things you should not do:-
Never tuck your napkin into the collar of your shirt.
Never use a napkin as a handkerchief.
Do not wipe off cutlery or glassware with your napkin. If dishes aren't clean, ask the waiter
quietly for replacements.
Do not cut up more than three bites at a time.
Do not scrape the plate.

Passing dishes and food

Things you should do:-
Soup spoons, coffee spoons, and dessert spoons should be placed on the service plate or
saucer when you are finished eating. Never leave them in the bowl, cup etc.
Always pass to the right.
Initiate the passing of rolls, butter, and condiments even if you do not want any.
Pass jugs, gravy boats etc. with the handle toward the recipient.

Things you should not do:-

Never reach across the table. If anything isn't directly in front of you, ask for it to be passed.

Posture and behaviour

Things you should do:-
When being entertained at someone's home it is nice to take a gift for the host and hostess. A
bottle of wine, bunch of flowers or chocolates are all acceptable.
 On arrival in a restaurant or at a formal function give your coat to the waiter, never hang it
on the back of your chair. If in doubt ask your host(ess).
When you wish to use the toilet, excuse yourself and leave quietly. Do not ask people where
they are going if they excuse themselves.
Things you should not do:-
Elbows should not be on the table until after all courses have been cleared away.
Never lean on your elbows! Keep your posture erect.
Never rock back in your chair.
Never smoke during a meal. Smoking should not take place until dessert is finished. Follow
the lead of the host or ask if you may smoke. Use ashtrays only.
Never apply makeup or comb your hair at the table.

The Formal Table Setting/Seating

At first glance, a formal table setting can be intimidating because there are so many forks, spoons,
and knives, all for different courses. However, do not be dismayed, there is a simple system behind
it all.

Placement and procedure

Start with the utensils on the outside and work your way inward with each subsequent
course. In other words, the outermost fork is your salad fork if salad is served first.
Forks will be on your left. Knives and spoons on your right. One exception to this is the
oyster or seafood fork, which will be on the right next to the soup spoon.
If you are in a restaurant and did not order fish, soup, or salad, the waiter will remove those
utensils. In a private home or at a banquet the silverware indicates the courses that will be
served.
At the top of your plate will be a dessert spoon and dessert fork. When dessert is served,
slide them down to the sides of the dessert plate: fork on the left; spoon on the right.
To eat dessert, break the dessert with the spoon, one bite at a time. Push the food with the
fork into the spoon. Eat from the spoon. (Fork in left hand; spoon in right.)
Coffee spoons are either to the right of the plate or brought with the coffee.
Red wine is served in a glass with a round bowl and fairly short stem. Hold it at the base of
the bowl. It should be served at room temperature.
White wine is normally served in a larger glass with a longer stem. Hold it at the base of the
stem. The same applies to all chilled wines.
The order of the wine glasses begins with the one closest to you: (a) Sherry (soup course) (b)
White wine (fish/chicken course) (c) Red wine (meat course) (d) Water goblet. ( There may
be other glasses used throughout the meal. )
There will be a butter knife located near the butter dish. Use it to transfer butter to your side
plate. Your butter knife will either be lying diagonally across your side plate or as the last
one to your right in the row of knives. Never use the knife with the butter dish to butter
bread. If there is no knife with the butter dish, transfer the butter with your butter knife.
 Sorbet, a fruit flavored ice, may be served between courses to cleanse the palate. A spoon
will accompany the sorbet.
Salad may be served before or after the main course. The placement of the salad fork will
give you a clue.
Finger bowls are presented after the main course and before dessert. If the bowl is placed on
a plate directly in front of you, lift the bowl with both hands and place it to the left of your
place setting. If there is a doily under it, move it as well. Often the finger bowl will be
placed to the left. Dip the fingers of one hand into the bowl, dry on your napkin which
remains on you lap. Follow with the other hand. There may be a flower or a lemon slice in
the bowl. Leave it be. (Some restaurants use hot towels in a similar manner as finger bowl.

Seating at a formal dinner

The male guest of honor sits on the hostess' right.
The next most important man sits on her left.
The female guest of honor sits on the host's right.
The second most important woman sits on the host's left.
Men and women should be alternately seated.
Couples should be separated.
Use of round tables puts everyone on an equal basis.
There may be place cards at a formal dinner or your host/hostess may indicate where you
should be seated.
Social manners are expected: males should seat females and rise when they leave and return
to the table.

Accidents will Happen

If you spill anything on the table or yourself discretely use your napkin or ask the waiter for
sparkling water. Do not dip your napkin into your water glass.
If you spill anything on someone else do not try to mop up the spill, offer them a napkin and
let them do it for themselves. Offer to cover any laundering or cleaning costs.
If you burp cover your mouth with your napkin. After it happens, say a quiet "pardon me" to
no one in particular, do not make a big deal about it.
If you break anything, call it to the waiter's attention. In a private home, speak quietly to the
host and offer to replace the item.
If you get some food stuck between your teeth do not use toothpicks, fingernails, or napkins
to dislodge the food at the table. If necessary go to the bathroom and take care of it.