On the Road in a Van with a Dog

ON THE ROAD

IN A VAN

WITH A DOG

––––––––

Kaye McLaren

––––––––

Happy Black Dog Publishing

On the Road in a Van with a Dog Copyright ©2024 Kaye McLaren. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any form, including photocopying, recording or other electronic or mechanical method without prior permission of the publisher except for fair dealing for the purpose of private study, research, criticism or review.

Author note: this book uses standard New Zealand English spelling and grammar.

Published by Happy Black Dog Publishing, somewhere in New Zealand, depending on where the van is parked

Contact the author at: kayemclaren@gmail.com or @kayemclaren.bsky.social 

ISBN: 978-0-473-58545-7

Cover design by Kaye McLaren

Cover art by Sangita Shorkar at www.fiverr.com

​Dedication

––––––––

This book is dedicated to Barney, the bestest and handsomest dog in the world, and the most wonderful traveling companion. We had so many exciting adventures together. I miss him every day.

Acknowledgements

I would like to acknowledge Jackie Bell for bombarding me monthly with poetry until it rubbed off on me and gave me my poetry mojo back. Also for proofreading almost all the poems in the book. Heartfelt thanks to Megan and Kirsty for liking the first poem I wrote in 30 years! And to Megan for helpful feedback on later poems.

I would also like to thank the wonderful Jen Yates for not giving up on persuading me to join Romance Writers of New Zealand, which has been such a source of support and inspiration. Also for not giving up on me when I took SO LONG to publish the book, supporting me through the nightmarish formatting process and giving invaluable feedback on the cover.

Romance Writers was where I met Lyndsay and Khushi, who encouraged me to come to Mad Poets and a small poetry group Lyndsay organised. Lyndsay and I also exchanged poems regularly, and her warm responses helped build my confidence and shape my writing.

And there is another Jackie to thank – the amazing Jacqueline Evans, one of the main forces behind Mad Poets. Her laughter, kind words and encouragement helped me stay on the path of poetry once I had stumbled back onto it. The wonderful members of that group also inspired me, whether by their liking for certain poems, or the fidgets or glances at time-pieces that told me I’d hit a flat spot. They helped me become more confident and discriminating.

Deryn from the Coast to Coast branch of Romance Writers of New Zealand was enormously supportive and encouraging when I started to put this book together. I cannot thank her enough for her generous willingness to read my poems and for the kind words and advice she showered me with. Jen, Lyndsay, Khushi and Deryn also went beyond the call of duty by reviewing all the ‘saucy’ poems and telling me which ones made the grade and which didn’t. They saved me from myself!

The talented American poet Mary McCormack Deka also generously edited Ode to an Exeloo, making suggestions that improved it immensely (the responsibility for any bits that still aren’t good is entirely mine). Also thanks again to Lyndsay, who quite coincidentally wrote a humorous poem about a public toilet around the same time, much better than mine, and made me feel this was actually an acceptable topic!

My brother Richard, sister Jude and Wellington poet Janis Freegard were also very encouraging in their reaction to That Fluffy Kitten Guy. My sister in particular supplied the missing information – that his stage name was Otis Mace, Guitar Ace.

Thanks again to Khushi, who helped me make decisions about dividing the poems into categories and reassured me when I lost confidence that anyone would want to read any of them. I would also like to thank Jen Yates for a third time, for reassuring me that self-publishing was not scary and quite simple. A shout out here also to my friend Peter Ashley for patiently walking me through the steps of self-publishing on Amazon so I had some idea what was involved. Also to Julie Gilligan, who provided such a wealth of useful information on publishing wide, and how to go about it. I have drawn on her advice constantly.

And thanks also to Margarete, who kindly offered to mock up the cover to give me something to go by when getting it designed. Also to the members of Romance Writers of New Zealand – the Coast to Coast, Wellington-Kapiti and Hawkes Bay chapters – whose extraordinary rate of writing and self-publishing provided a wealth of role models who showed me it was indeed possible for me to become a published poet. Possibly not a read poet, but definitely a published one. In particular, thanks to our breakout Tauranga group, who were so supportive and gave such constructive feedback on the cover. Deryn from that group came up with the idea of calling myself Happy Black Dog Publishing, which I love, instead of just Black Dog. Thanks also for their great kindness to my dog Barney, who spent happy hours in various back yards while we met.

I am also grateful to William, who, when I told him my poetry book was ready to be published, said you said that months ago, and who would call me now and then and say how’s the poetry book going? in a very casual way. He helped provide the motivation I needed!

Last, but very much not least, I would like to acknowledge Zimei Wang, the book fairy who waved her magic wand (her digital skills) and removed the final impediment to publication of this book by converting it into an e-book I could actually see and check! She also upgraded the layout and is responsible for the professional look of the book. I can highly recommend her to any poet (or other writer) aspiring to be published.

Introduction

One of the questions people most often ask me is whether I like living in a van full-time. My answer usually goes something like it’s not perfect, but it’s better than any other lifestyle I’ve tried. Some people go on to ask me how I ended up living in a van. The answer to that question is much longer, so I’ll cover that later in the introduction. But before I tell that story I want to explain how unlikely it was that I would ever write –