I came to this world with nothing

how does one make friends these days? anyone?

i'm... maybe... going through a bit of a crisis. one of my closest friends for college feels more distant than ever recently. before we get into it, i more than understand how ships-in-the-night adults friendships can be and that's 100%. friendships always contain nurture aspect especially when life starts lifing but surly it shouldn't be this hard. it shouldn't feel like this. since oct '24 my attempts to reach out for conversation are met with 1-2 replies then nothing (again i get it - life) but my most recent text, last wednesday got nothing. silence.

i'm trying so hard to not get in my head about it but obviously, it's not going very well... ok i might have been a bit dramatic and taken down some pictures of them SUE ME 😅. i think i'm going to try and a reach out one more time. just a "how are you, is everything ok" text and take it from there. i'm just... really scared, i really love this friend and already feel the devestation of nothing having them in my life anymore for good.

cross your fingers for me and also really, if anyone knows how to make friends lmaoo

Title: love in 3x3 form
Fandom: 9-1-1 (ABC)
Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz
Rating: G
Prompt: #179 - Love Letter
X-Posted: AO3, 100words

Summary: Sometimes love is a pink sticky note on the fridge.

( Read more... )

...and I'm kinda meh about it 😞

Despite only being on season 6 (yes this post is about Supernatural again, I'm sorry!), I bought the complete series boxset! It was on sale. Like I had to lol...despite hearing just how bad that packaging is. And boy, does it unfortunately live up to the hype.




( more carnage under the cut )

For how much this costs, this is beyond unexceptable. The boxset came out a couple years ago and have more than enough complaints that that production company could have gone back to the drawing board. Alas...

*sigh* that said, I've watched a few discs and haven't had any problems with them so I think I'll be keeping it 😞 Just weighing the pros and cons of it all. 1. Yes, the show is on Netflix right now but apparently, it will be coming down at the end of 2025. 2. I'd love to get singlar boxsets but I just simply don't have the space for 15 box sets sadly. and 3. I've already bought a cd binder to put the discs in so I can take them out of those horrible plastic cases that will no doubt scratch/chip the discs. It will be slow going, these cases are a BEAR. I'm even asked on r/Supernatural is anyone had any tips on how to get the discs out safely.

The trials and tribulations of fandom, huh 😅

The way I've been absolutely OBSESSED with Supernatual these past two weeks. I don't know what lead to it but Emma and I watched two random episodes from season 10 while we were hanging out and then BOOM I'm suddenly on season 5 and fully lost in the sauce lol. I really wish I had given the show a bit more of a chance during the height of it all because teenage me would have loooved it (also having another fandom other than Harry Potter would have been great too lol)

So like I said, the sauce. I'm in it. The podcasts. The gifs. The fics. I'm thriving. (btw theres something soo special about fics from a fandom whose media has finished - the sandbox is soooo deep and full of treats and secrets!)

SPEAKING OF FICS! I have two new favorites that are as diametically opposed as you can get. First, I read (oh by the way I have a lot of ships for this show already but samdean is my main sooo fair warning. it's fiction.) Care and Keeping by fools_game on LJ. In this one, Sam gets turned into a cat!! And it is soo wonderfully sweet and heartwarming because Dean goes above and beyond to take care of cat!Sam on top of being so worried he'll never switch back. I really love how much personality the author gave Sam and the ending is so sweet as well!

Second and most devestating is Hate and Heartbreak by ItsJustResearch on ao3.
Lemme just give you the summary:

Dean finds out that Sam is in love with him. Dean is angry and disgusted. Sam is hurt and depressed. where does that leave the Winchesters? Sam POV.
.
.
.
“You know I would never do anything to you, right? I’m still the same Sam, Dean. The same little brother” Dean flinched. “...I was yesterday. I would never touch you or hurt you. Please just tell me you know that” he begged, his voice breaking, desparate.

....yeah. Absolutely. DEVESTATING. I've just spent the last two days with my eyes glued to my kindle, crying. The author did a fantastic job is really diving in the turmoil of this situation from both sides. It really lives up to it's title but don't worry, the ending it really lovely. It just such a wonderfully written story about some realities and the heartbreak and healing of them.

Welp, the mines (ao3) are a-calling! I'm ready to clock back in!

I can't believe it. All these yearning I've been doing lately for Livejournal and the message boards of the past and Dreamwidth was right there, staring me in the face! and kinda active as well.

I just just updating my icons and got such a thrill lol. It's like old times *old man yells at clouds voice* when the internet actually had websites and was fun! J/K J/K the internet is still pretty fun if you know how to currate it for your own intrests. Something I have gotten very good at these past years.

I'm trying to remember all the different social medias I've ever used. LJ (my beloved), Xanga, DeadJournal, Myspace, FB, Twitter, Blogspot, InsaneJournal, GreatestJournal. God and don't even get me started on the fanfic sites: Fandomination, Adult-Fanfiction, FanFic.net, Yahoo Groups, Literotica!

I had an account on anything and EVERYTHING. Especially things I most definely should not have been on at that young age 😅 but I feel like I turned out pretty good despite it all lol.

It's wild to think about just how many of those sites are looong gone now... I really do miss those times and the variety of places to explore. *sigh*. I know it's not always good to dwell on the past but I'm really glad that this place is still around to help scratch that nostalia itch.