Dreamcatcher Theatre The Collected Scripts

by Jon Lane and Carro Marren.

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons AttributionNonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. To view a copy of this license, visit: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 444 Castro Street, Suite 900, Mountain View, California, 94041, USA.

Table of Contents
Introduction........................................................5 The Quarry..........................................................9 Thank You.........................................................50 Azoth................................................................80

Introduction
Dreamcatcher Theatre was formed in 2005, when Jon Lane and Carro Marren graduated together from Dartington College of Arts. Both had an interest in challenging audiences, and in horror particularly. The aim of the company was to devise and write new works of horror in the tradition of the Grand Guignol, updated to the 21st century in terms of themes, and the demands of a modern audience. Many of the original plays from that era now have a certain camp comedic quality, distanced as they are from today's society, and what people are used to from fifty years of horror movies. Collected here are three of our plays, taken from different points in our creative careers. The Quarry was devised, written and performed in May 2006. It had its premire showing at the Little Theatre, Torquay. The play started life as a thumbnail sketch of an idea a serial abuser of women is kidnapped by four of its previous victims, they remind him what he did to them, and then exact their revenge in the most brutal way imaginable. As such, it was much closer to a 1970s grindhouse or exploitation type story idea than the play that finally developed. Through the work done with the cast during rehearsals and devising, it became a much deeper piece. It also helped to form a number of rules that we continue to use in our writing. Key among these is a lack of both protagonists and antagonists: that is, we try to ensure that none of the characters are
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wholly sympathetic, or wholly unsympathetic. Everyone in The Quarry is damaged in some way. Jack has done terrible things, to be sure, but does he really deserve suffering the punishment meted out on him by the women? Similarly, what each of the women has endured at Jack's hands is wrong, and they are certainly victims; but can we really sympathise with characters who have such a terrible plan, and carry it out? Our hope is that, by giving no one character the hero or villain role, it invites the audience to ask questions, and choose their own side. Judging from reactions to this and other plays, it's a hope we realise time and again. Thank You was written as a commission for another Grand Guignol-inspired theatre company based over in Washington DC, Molotov Theatre Company. The play was performed as part of the Blood, Sweat and Fears II season, at the Playbill Caf in Washington DC, from October 3-31, 2009. The brief was to write a comedy (the Grand Guignol's standard practice was to alternate horror and comedy through an evening's entertainment), for two men, with a possible theme of crime. Although a comedy, it was not written to be light-hearted fun it was still important to keep with the darker vein of Grand Guignol, and to challenge audiences by pushing the bounds of taste and decency. And again, we appear to have succeeded: one reviewer described the evening's experience as 10,000 different kinds of wrong, and in all the right ways. Finally, Azoth marks another change in direction for the company, while still keeping within the traditions of the Grand Guignol. The play has not, to date, been performed by Dreamcatcher: it was written for a live performance at a horror film festival in October 2010, but the commission fell through before the performance took place. The brief to create a 15-minute piece that would open the festival, for an audience of up to 200 horror film fans certainly coloured the creative process. Instead of our previous style of plotting (building up tension to a final moment of visceral horror), we elected to write a wish list of horror gags and visual effects we wanted to show on-stage, and then worked out a story to help us shoehorn as many of them into the piece as possible. The result is a far more gritty, gruesome, and disturbing piece than we had written before, and it certainly makes for
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uncomfortable reading but even here, we like to think that we've managed to write something with more levels than just the superficial gross-out horror that is immediately apparent. So those are the three plays available in this offering. Read, enjoy, and if you want to stage any of them, feel free to do so. Under the terms of the Creative Commons licence, it is free to do so provided you are a non-commercial company, and attribute the authorship correctly to us. All we would ask is that, if you do decide to produce one of these plays, you drop us a line at dreamcatcher_theatre@gmail.com, and let us know when and where you intend to put it on. Who knows, we may even come and see a performance?

The Quarry

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CHARACTERS JACK: A young man in his mid-twenties, with above-average looks and an affable charm. For the duration of the play, Jack is dressed in only his boxer shorts, and is tied up at wrists and ankles by a sturdy rope. HELEN: A young attractive woman, mid-twenties. Helen is the de facto leader of the group of women who have assembled to take their revenge on Jack: she's the woman who found his notebook and contacted the others. Her character is a little Xena: The Warrior Princess to start with, and her clothing fits that as well: vest, combat-style trousers, stout boots, hair back in a tight ponytail. She means business and is dressed for it. HAZEL: A young woman, in her mid-twenties, attractive but a little dowdy. She is dressed in clothes that suggest her naivety a simple floral print dress, perhaps. EMILY: An attractive woman in her mid-twenties. Emily is dressed as though going out on a date with a gorgeous man she was the member of the group who entrapped Jack and drugged his drink. It is the truth behind her relationship with Jack that unknots the fragile unity between the women: she is also possibly the most violent and revenge-driven of the group. SARAH: An attractive woman in her mid-twenties, again hiding her looks behind dowdy clothing. In an effort to be invisible, Sarah tends to wear shapeless clothing a faded grey sweater and nondescript trousers. She attempts to be the voice of reason to the others, counselling calmness once she realises that the situation is a lot more real than any of them actually anticipated.

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SETTING The entire action of the play takes place in the middle of a quarry at night. The stage is empty, except for a single crate, which Jack is lying beside at the beginning of the play. TIME Late night. The play takes place in real-time.

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THE QUARRY
(The lights, a dim blue wash suggesting moonlight, come up on an almost empty stage. The only things visible are a crate and JACK lying on the floor. JACK is naked apart from his boxer shorts. His hands are tied behind his back, and his ankles are bound together. A recorded voicemail message plays.) HELEN (V/O) Hi. You dont know me, but I think we have something in common. (Beat) Jack. (Beat) Im offering you the chance of a closure, of sorts. If youre interested, then meet me at Charlies Bar, at 7 on Wednesday. If you dont turn up, then I wont contact you again. Thanks. (As the message plays, HELEN enters the stage, carrying a torch/lantern. She sets it down on the floor, pointing at JACK, and kneels by him. Gently, she picks him up, bringing him into a sitting position, then kisses him as he wakes.) HELEN Hello, Jack. JACK Hum? (Waking fully) You?! (JACK pushes away from HELEN, falling
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back down onto the floor. He begins to struggle at his bonds, realises he is unable to escape.) JACK Help! HELP! Somebody, please! HELP ME! (JACK eventually stops shouting when he realises that no one is coming. HELEN waits for JACK to stop. There is a long pause.) HELEN Are you done? JACK What what are you going to do to me? (HELEN smiles sweetly at JACK, and brings out a large knife. JACK begins to panic) (hysterical) Oh, shit! Please, no, dont kill me. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im so sorry, please dont kill me, please, Im sorry, shit, no, no, no, dont kill me, please, please! (Continues to beg for his life, then finally takes a breath, attempts to steady himself) Look, I know I deserve this. I know what I did was wrong (HELEN gets up quickly, and stands astride the prone JACK.) HELEN Wrong? Wrong?? I came to your apartment in good faith, and what did you do? You lied to me, drugged my drink, then fucked me while I couldnt defend myself. You paid me to come and model for you! I felt like a fucking whore!! JACK I know, I know. What I did was theres no excuse for it. I felt so
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bad afterwards so bad, believe me. I hated myself. I was just so desperate, I wanted you so badly, I wasnt thinking. You were the only one Id never used drugs before, and afterwards, I promised myself, Ill never use them again. God I felt so horrible. HELEN Really? You cant have felt anything like as horrible as I did. Waking up in a backstreet somewhere, no memory of where I was, how I got there, what had happened. Oh, it came back slowly the modelling job and so on and it didnt take an Einstein to realise what had happened, not the way I ached. Did it make you feel special, fucking me as I lay there, limp, almost lifeless? Were you a god as you pushed my thighs apart? Well, look at you now, eh? Snivelling, snot-ridden, almost shitting yourself wheres the power now, Jack? JACK Please, Helen, Im begging here: just let me go. I know Im a monster to you (HELEN laughs coldly, and goes over to the crate, sitting down.) HELEN No, Jack, youre no monster. At first, maybe, but that wore off. And now? Youre just a guy who cant control his prick, a pathetic worm. JACK Youre right, Im pathetic. And you have every right to want revenge. But please, not like this, you cant kill me, please! HELEN Really? And whats stopping me, exactly? (HELEN gets off the crate and stands over him once more.) Here we are, in the middle of the night, miles away from anywhere.
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Youve already noticed no one can hear you screaming. So no one can stop me doing exactly what I want. (HELEN grabs hold of JACK'S ankle and drags him back to the crate. Sitting him up against it once more, she begins to stroke the knife blade around his chest and belly, finally bringing it up to rest at his throat. There is a beat.) But youre right. (HELEN moves the knife slowly away from his body) I wont kill you. How can you repent and feel remorse when youre dead? Besides, its too quick and clean for a maggot like you. No, Jack, Im not going to kill you but maybe youll wish I had. JACK What do you mean? HELEN Well, what do they say? An eye for an eye? (HELEN points the knife, a scant inch away from JACK'S eyeball.) The punishment should fit the crime? (Slowly, she traces from his eyeball, down his cheek and neck, down his torso, finally coming to a rest at his crotch.) Youre a man who cant keep his dick under control well, maybe we should take the offending article away. JACK What? No! Please thats no!
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HELEN Oh, come on Jack. Deep in your heart, you know you deserve this. If it makes you feel any better, then consider it a public service. Im not just doing this for my own revenge Im doing this for all the others. JACK What others? I told you, you were the only one Id never used drugs before on anyone and I swear, Ill never use them again HELEN Im not talking about the drugs, Jack! I mean the catalogue of women youve abused, manipulated, played your mind games on over the years. I might have been the first woman you drugged, but I wasnt your first conquest, was I? JACK (Beat, then, drained) Oh, god the break in that was you. HELEN Thats right, Jack. See, you made a big mistake. You showed me where you lived. It wasnt hard to wait for you to head off to work, then force my way in and have a little look round. And I found some very interesting stuff, believe me. One little notebook, in particular. JACK Oh shit. HELEN I decided I ought to make a few phone calls, get in touch with some of your previous acquaintances. Some of them were very interested in what I had to tell them. Some were so interested, in fact, that they decided they just had to see you again for old times sake.
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JACK What what do you ? HELEN I think its time we got this reunion started properly, dont you Jack? (HELEN stands, and looks off-stage, beckoning. More torchlight appears as three other women appear EMILY, HAZEL, and SARAH. At first, JACK is blinded by the light, and cannot make out how many women are there, or who they are. The three women split, EMILY striding forwards.) SARAH Oh my god! EMILY Hello again, Jack. We must stop bumping into each other like this, eh? JACK You? Shit! (JACK Falls over, scrabbling away from EMILY.) EMILY Thats right, Jack. Werent you even a little suspicious when I came back into your life? Didnt any of those alarm bells ring? God, it was so easy: you were so willing to pick up from where you left off. JACK (to HELEN) Whats she doing here? Shes got no reason to be here! HELEN Shes got as much right as anyone else, Jack.
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SARAH This this isnt how I imagined it. EMILY Come on, Jack. You dont seem pleased to see us. Im disappointed. After all the trouble we went through to get you here, the least you could do is welcome us with open arms. Not even a little hug for the woman who drugged your drink? Oh, thats right, you cant, can you? How are those knots, anyway? Nice and tight? HELEN You did a good job there Emily. EMILY Well, I learned a thing or two since Jack here last saw me. HELEN And how about the rest of our little club, Jack? Dont you want to meet them? I think its time we re-introduced you. (Sits JACK back up, facing the other two women: EMILY helps her. JACK has his eyes shut tight) Come on, Jack. Open your eyes. Your public awaits. (JACK'S eyes remain shut. EMILY reaches over and twists his nipple, and his eyes open in pain and surprise.) EMILY Thats better. Now, there are two others wed like you to meet. Well, youve already met them, havent you? Do you remember either of them? Faces look at all familiar? SARAH Im not sure this isnt fair.

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HELEN What he did to us isnt fair. This is just payback. (to JACK) Do you remember Sarah? Its been a while, but Im sure that youre the kind of guy who never forgets a pretty face, eh? Or how about our other special guest? Hazel? Come on, now you must remember Hazel. EMILY Come on, Jack, say hello to your guest. You must have missed her its been over two years since you last saw her. (EMILY and HELEN continue to taunt and bully JACK, as SARAH and HAZEL look on. Finally, HAZEL runs across and pulls EMILY away from him, then begins to try and untie his bonds.) HAZEL Get off him! (EMILY grabs hold of HAZEL and drags her back to SARAH.) EMILY Here, keep hold of her, will you? HELEN What the hell was all that about? HAZEL Im sorry. Im so sorry. EMILY Sorry? Sorry for what? HAZEL Jack? Im sorry!
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HELEN What?! SARAH You dont need to apologise to him, Hazel, its alright. Youve done nothing wrong. HAZEL But I have. All of this is my fault. This isnt the Jack I know. HELEN You mean theres more than one of these bastards out there? HAZEL No! Its the same man but my Jack would never have done any of this. Somethings made him change, turned him into this other person. (Beat) And its my fault. Im the one who did this to him. EMILY You? What did you do that could possibly have changed him. JACK Hazel. You dont have to do this. HAZEL (quietly) I I slept with his best friend. EMILY (bursts out laughing)

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You?!? You cheated on him? HAZEL (quietly) Dont laugh at me, (a little louder) dont laugh at me (Loud) Dont laugh at me! (Beat) HAZEL We were happy. We had everything we could possibly have wanted. Jack helped me feel better about myself, so I stopped wearing trashy clothes and going to all those noisy, cheap clubs. He helped me to see that my friends werent good enough for me, that they would just keep dragging me down to their level, when I could be so much more. He made me realise I didnt need to cling to my family anymore. EMILY Oh, yes: a proper Richard & Judy couple! HAZEL I moved out, got myself a little bed-sit. Jack couldnt move in with me it was too small, and we couldnt afford to get a place together but he came and stayed with me as often as he could. He helped me grow up and cut the ties of my old life and how did I repay him? By getting drunk and sleeping with his best friend! JACK Hazel

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HAZEL I dont blame you for walking out on me that day, Jack. I can only imagine how you must have felt, coming home and finding us there together. I tried so hard to find you, though. I wanted to show you how sorry I was, wanted to make it all better. But youd gone, vanished without a trace. It wasnt until Helen called me that I had any idea where to look for you anymore when she offered me the chance to see you again, I had to take it. Please Jack please, forgive me. SARAH Its OK, youre just confused. Its what people like Jack do. They make you feel like its your fault, but its not. Its not. JACK Hazel come here. (HAZEL tries to cross to JACK, but her path is barred by EMILY.) Let her through! (EMILY looks at HELEN, who nods. EMILY steps aside, and lets HAZEL pass.) Hazel I forgive you. HELEN Oh, for crying out loud JACK It was so long ago. Yes, it hurt me, but Im willing to put it in the past and move on. HELEN Dont listen to him, Hazel. Hes just playing his games again, worming his way into your mind, telling you what you want to hear.

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JACK Its good to see you again Hazel. Ive missed you. HELEN Oh, please Jack? You honestly expect her to fall for a line like that? Give the girl a bit of credit, eh? HAZEL Oh, Jack. (HAZEL kneels by JACK and throws her arms around him.) HELEN Shit. Hazel? Listen to me. JACK No, Hazel. Listen to me. HELEN Hazel? You have to step away from Jack right now. Hes using you. JACK Keep out of this, Helen. Dont get involved in what you dont understand. HELEN Hazel? SARAH Be careful! JACK Hazel, dont listen to them. Pay attention to me. Its Jack. Your Jack. Remember the fun we used to have? The way we would sit and laugh together for no reason other than we were happy to be together?

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HAZEL I remember. (HAZEL smiles) HELEN Enough of this. Hazel! JACK Shut up, Helen. HELEN No, you shut up! (HELEN pulls HAZEL off JACK and pushes her towards EMILY, who grabs her by the arm. HELEN unsheathes the knife again, and holds it at JACK'S throat.) You would do well to remember who it is here that is in control, Jack. Im the woman with the knife: you pay attention to me. Understand? (JACK nods. HELEN smiles, and moves the knife away, but doesnt sheathe it.) I warned you before we got here, all of you. He will try to separate us, to play us off against each other. Hell find any weaknesses we show and exploit them to his full advantage. You cannot trust anything he says. (HELEN pulls out a black notebook) Just to prove a point, I think its time we had a small history lesson, dont you, Jack? SARAH Whats that?

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HELEN This is how I managed to find you. Well, this, and a little legwork with the local phone books. In here, we have a catalogue of every woman who has had the misfortune to have known Jack. (to JACK) There was something I was hoping you could explain to me, actually. See, I understand the dates, and the names but there are three other columns here. Only one word, sometimes two in each column. Theyre headed, Me, Them, and theres a third column with no heading. What do they mean? JACK You figure it out. (HELEN threatens him with the knife again.) HELEN Tell me what they mean, Jack. JACK (Beat, then, drained and hollow) The Me column is a reminder to myself of the character I played for that woman. The Them column tells me what kind of person they are. (Beat) And the third column the third column is a note of what the sex was like. HELEN I see. I would like with your permission to read a few choice passages from this list. There are some interesting bits in here. Emily give us your torch a minute, would you?

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(reads) Samantha Peterson desperate. Paula Jackson stand-offish. Tracy Clark oh, you gave her three out of five: kinda average, she would be so pleased to know that. Heres one with no last name just Alison. And here, theres one with no name just a single date, and an entry in the bed column: 1 out of 5. I guess you didnt get so lucky that night eh, Jack? Rebecca Monk. Shelly OByrne. Veronica Kelly. Stephanie Miller. Gemma. Leanne Everett you thought she was an arrogant cow, apparently. Mary Hutton. Donna Ashworth. Fiona Jones. (Stops reading) Shall I carry on? This is only the surface. Theres close to 50 names in here. 50 women you betrayed and abused. And how dare you cheapen them by condensing them into just one word. These are individuals, Jack. Theyre not just bit parts in the film of your life! EMILY What does he say about me? HELEN (searches through the pages to find the right place) Oh, thats interesting. Id forgotten that. EMILY What? What does it say? HELEN Well, hes crossed your name through. Several times, actually. Hes done the same to mine, as well. I wonder why that is, eh, Jack? Anything that me and Emily might possibly have in common? EMILY Never mind that. What does it say?
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HELEN Let me see. (reads) Me open/easygoing. Them innocent but raunchy. Bed hmm, theres no grade here, just: OMFG? EMILY OMFG? HELEN Care to enlighten us Jack? (JACK mutters something.) HELEN What was that? I didnt quite catch it. JACK (louder) Oh. My. Fucking. God. HELEN I see. Now, is that the top end of the scale do you think, or the bottom? Not that it matters really. It just sickens me that you could do anything so, so crass as to grade a woman you raped! JACK Raped? Wait a minute HELEN Shut up, Jack! Emily told me what happened, every detail. Oh, I might have been the first time you used drugs, but you seem to view getting someone drunk quite differently, dont you?

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JACK Look, I dont know what she told you, but thats not how it happened EMILY Helen told you to shut up: you might find it a good idea to do as she says. Before you get into deeper trouble than youre already in. (JACK stops, but stares angrily at EMILY.) EMILY OK, enough of this charade. Are we going to get this done with, or not? SARAH Look, I dont think this is a good idea. Fine, we got him here, we scared him isnt that enough? This isnt going to help anyone. Helen on the phone, you offered us closure. But this isnt closure: its just revenge. If we do this, well be no better off than we were before. In fact, well probably feel worse. We have to face up to whats happened to us, and find a way to move on. HELEN Youve changed your tune! SARAH Look at those other names you read us Helen. Do you think that they didnt suffer; havent gone through nights of pain, remembering what theyve been through? Were all suffering here after what he did to us, but we can choose to end it. Im not saying Im cured, or that Ive put it all behind me. I wouldnt be here now if that were true. But I am trying to get my life back on track. Its not easy, but Janes been great. Shes helped so much. I dont know what Id do without her. HAZEL Jane? Whos Jane? SARAH
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Shes my counsellor. Well, shes more than that really she helps me put the pieces of my life back together, helps me to become whole again. Any time I find myself slipping back into the old, selfdestructive patterns, I can just call her and shell guide me back to a good place. I spoke to her the other day, actually, when I was having doubts about this. It was her idea that I should come tonight. EMILY What?! HELEN Hang on. You told your shrink we were coming out here to do this? SARAH Oh, please. Grant me a little intelligence! Of course I didnt. All I said to her was that an opportunity had come up, and I could meet and confront one of the people from my past. She said that so long as I felt strong enough, that this could only be a good thing. (Beat) She really has been so helpful. Because of her, Im finally back to the stage I was at when I met Jack. OK, I know that doesnt sound like much, but its taken two years of seeing her, another therapist, and three groups sessions a month just to get me this far. Jane has helped me see the patterns in my life that will keep on repeating unless I make a stand and change. Well, this is my stand. I wont let you put me back on that cycle again. This time, Im moving on. (SARAH walks over to JACK, and looks him straight in the eye.) Did you know what you did to the women you left behind, Jack? Did you spare us a second thought as you walked away? Or were we just nothing to you, dismissed from your mind the second you moved on to the next girl? (Beat) Two years, Jack. Two bloody years its taken, just to get back to where I was before you came into my life. You told me I didnt need a therapist, that you would help me through my problems. You
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made me totally dependent on you emotionally, mentally, financially. And then you destroyed it all on that last night, regressed me back to a scared, broken child with your words. You told me it was my fault. Well, explain this to me Jack: how can a six-year-old possibly be asking for it? (There is silence for a moment.) EMILY Hang on: you were SIX?! HELEN You sick little fuck! (HELEN prepares to lunge at JACK with her knife.) JACK (hysterically) It was her uncle! It wasnt me, it was her uncle! (HELEN freezes, mid-thrust.) JACK It wasnt me! Sarah was already in therapy when I met her. Think about it. How could I possibly have known her when she was six? Ask her. Or, if you really want to check it out, then look at that damned book youve got. I never even slept with her! Go on, check the dates! (HELEN pulls the book out again, as EMILY turns to SARAH.) EMILY Well? Is this true? (SARAH nods, not saying anything.)

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HELEN His story checks out here, too. Sarah was two years ago. (Beat) Although heres something interesting. Sarahs dates overlap with someone elses. Anyone want to guess who it might be? JACK Helen no. Dont do this. Its not fair HELEN Anyone? No? Well, let me announce the winner. The prize for duped ex-lover goes to JACK Helen! HELEN Hazel. HAZEL What? (JACK slumps against the crate.) HAZEL No, no. There must be some mistake. Youre reading the diary wrong. Jack didnt start being horrible to other women until after I cheated on him. I already told you, Im the reason he does all this! HELEN Im afraid not. Look for yourself if you dont believe me. (HELEN throws the black book to HAZEL, who starts looking through the lists. She finds the right place.) HAZEL Jack? Is this is this true?
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JACK Hazel HAZEL IS IT TRUE? JACK (Beat) Yes. HAZEL (beginning to hyperventilate: a panic attack is coming on) But that doesnt make sense. You you loved me. We were happy together HELEN Oh, wake up why dont you? I told you, he lies. How can you believe anything that comes out of his mouth? (HAZEL staggers, unable to keep her balance. SARAH goes to support her: HAZEL shrugs her off.) HAZEL Get off me! I thought you were my friend. I thought you were nice! SARAH HAZEL, Im sorry, I didnt know. Let me help HAZEL Get off! (HAZEL wrenches away from SARAH again,
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loses her balance, and falls to the floor, her breathing getting worse.) HELEN There you go, Jack. Are you happy? Youre still ruining her life, after two years absence. Well, I dont think theres any reason to keep this going any longer, do you? No: I think its time to draw all this to a close. (HELEN gestures to EMILY.) Emily? Give me a hand here. Lets get him up onto the crate. (Together, HELEN and EMILY manhandle up onto the crate. HELEN takes off her belt and hands it to EMILY.) EMILY Whats this for? HELEN Put it between his teeth. We dont want him biting through his tongue and choking on the blood, do we? (EMILY folds the belt, and pushes it into JACK'S mouth. HELEN forces his knees apart, and holds the knife high. There is a long moment as she steels herself. JACK braces for the impact of the blade. EMILY stand behind him, holding him back and presenting HELEN with an open target. HAZEL continues to hyperventilate, while SARAH comforts her through the panic attack. The pause continues. Finally, HELEN throws down the knife to the side of the crate: JACK remains untouched.) FUCK! (JACK exhales sharply, and spits out the belt.
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SARAH looks over, her support for HAZEL wavering for a moment. HELEN backs off from JACK, defeated. EMILY steps away from the crate.) EMILY What are you doing? HELEN I cant do it. EMILY We agreed. We planned. You promised us. You have to do this! HELEN Its not that simple. SARAH You see? Its one thing to talk about it, to make big plans in a pub: its something else to be looking in the eyes of the man you plan to scar for life! EMILY But look at what he did to you: he paid you, drugged you, and raped you. This is what he deserves. Finish this! HELEN I cant, alright? I fucking cant. EMILY Fine. If you wont do it for yourself, then do it for us. (Tears beginning to form in EMILY'S eyes) Do I have to remind you what he did to me? How I felt when he left me like that? I should have seen it coming: I knew he was a player. When a guy comes into the bar you work in, a different girl on his arm each time, you know hes not looking for a long-term commitment. But he was charming, and funny and he didnt try to
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hide who he was from me. I was reluctant at first I didnt want to be just another notch on his bedpost. So we took it slowly. We went out for a few dates but it always ended at my front door. Then, after a couple of weeks, I invited him to come over for dinner. The red wine was a mistake. It always goes straight to my head. I was nervous as hell, so I had a few more glasses than I should. Jack knew, though. He waited until the time was just right. Dinner was finished, we were sat in the living room. He made his move, and I couldnt stop him. He was so hasty, my tights tore as he pulled them down. I found myself being pushed back onto the living room floor, and then he forced my legs apart. As he slipped his trousers down from his hips, his belt buckle brushed my thigh. It was so cold, it made me gasp. (The tears and pain begin to ebb from EMILY'S voice, as she relives the memory and becomes aroused) His hands were all over me, bruising my aching flesh. The smell of wine mingled with his sweat as it oozed from his pores. His weight pressed down on me I could hardly breathe. I tried to struggle didnt I, Jack? but in my state, he was too strong for me. He held me arms down above my head, pinning me to the floor. I felt him spread my legs wider, and the fumble of his fingers as he pulled my thong to one side. Then, with one deep thrust, our hips ground together. I just wanted to scream. It hurt. (In obvious pleasure now) Oh, god, it hurt so much. (There is a long pause as EMILY'S story sinks in. HAZEL'S breathing has by now returned almost to normal, and she is looking up at EMILY from across the space, bewildered.
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SARAH stands up, also looking at EMILY. HELEN crosses over to stand beside her. EMILY is still lost in the story, but slowly becomes aware again of where she is, and who her audience is.) HELEN You told me you said he raped you. EMILY Well he did. Practically. HELEN But you enjoyed it. You wanted it. EMILY So? He wanted to do it, I wanted him to. How is that wrong? HELEN You tricked me. I I actually trusted you, looked on you as the one person here that I could rely on. The one person who I thought understood where I was coming from, because shed been there, too. You bitch. (HELEN lunges at EMILY, but EMILY stops her.) EMILY Hey! Hold on! Im still on your side! In fact, Im the only one still on your side. They dont want to see him punished we do! HELEN But why? He gave you what you wanted! He played along in your perverse little fantasy. Why the hell do you want to see him suffer? EMILY Because he didnt give me what I wanted! Oh, sure, he was fine that first time, when he thought he was in control. But when he came
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round a few nights later, trying the same routine, it was a completely different story, wasnt it, Jack? JACK Emily, you dont have to tell them EMILY Oh, but I do Jack. I want them all to see what kind of a man you really are. You see, he turns up, ready for another session. He even brings along another bottle of that red wine I like so much very thoughtful. But when he starts pouring me a glass, I stop him. Its OK, I say, you dont need to get me drunk. Well, he sits there, confused for a moment, then shrugs and carries on with dinner. I dont think it had sunk in, really. Not till afterwards. Were sat in the living room, like before, and I lean over. Whisper in his ear, Go on. Do to me what you did last time He turns, still doesnt understand. So I make it plain. I grab his hand, and put it against my breast, digging his fingers in until he nearly draws blood. The pains electric, and I moan, my eyes closing as I feel the warmth course through me. I put my hand down between his legs to see how hes responding nothing. (Beat) When I open them again, though, Jack is staring at me like Im possessed. He pulls his hand off me, and backs into a corner muttering under his breath I cant quite catch the words. I try to go over to him, to let him know its alright, I like it like this but he scuttles back further. He cant get far enough away from me. JACK Well, of course I did! You freaked the hell out of me! EMILY(ignoring JACK) Anyway, cut a long story short, Jack bolts out of there, tail well and truly between his legs. I offered him everything he could possibly want the perfect partner and he goes limp. Thats why I want to see him hurt, Helen. If he cant use it with the one woman who wants him to, then why should he get to keep it at all? HELEN I dont believe this.
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SARAH So you see all of this as some sleight against you? This is just some petty little grievance? EMILY Theres nothing petty about it! When he thought he was in control, he was king of the world! But the thought of someone wanting him to do this to them it was unbearable. He deserves to lose it! HELEN I feel sick. Do you have any idea what youre saying? How can you want to be raped? How can anyone possibly fantasise about what I went through? Theres nothing romantic, dreamy erotic about it. It hurts. And the pain isnt just the ache where someone has violated you its deeper, inside, and its not somewhere thats going to stop hurting any time soon. As to punishing him, just because he wouldnt perform his tricks for you Im actually speechless. (There is a moment as HELEN and EMILY stare at each other.) EMILY OK, then. It looks like theres no other choice, doesnt it? Youve proved youre as flaccid as Jack. Sarah wants us to sit down like proper grown-ups and just talk it through. And Hazels barely fit to walk, by the look of things. I guess that means Ill have to do it myself. (EMILY goes to walk towards the knife, but HAZEL bursts into action, scrambling across to get to it first. She throws it off into the darkness.) HAZEL NO! (EMILY rushes over to her.)

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EMILY What did you go and do that for? Well never find it now! HAZEL Youre not hurting my Jack! EMILY Oh, for fucks sakes! Have you not been listening to whats been going on? Your Jack is a myth! He never existed! While you were busy playing happy homes, he was out screwing sorry, trying to screw Sarah. He raped Helen. And he couldnt even get it up with me, in spite of me offering what he really wanted. HAZEL No! Thats not true. I can see now. Its not Jacks fault it yours! All of you! Look at yourselves! HELEN What? Are you saying I asked him to rape me? You better think what youre saying HAZEL Youre a whore! You get paid to take your clothes off for people, then youre surprised when theyre aroused? Are you stupid, or just arrogant? SARAH Hazel, calm down HAZEL Get off! Youre no better. The harlot who turned my Jacks head. We were happy together, we had everything we could want. You came along and it all goes wrong! EMILY Well, this is amusing. So if Helens the Whore, and shes the Harlot, what does that make me, then?

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HAZEL (calmly, composing herself) I would have thought that was obvious. Youre the Slut. (There is a beat, then EMILY backslaps HAZEL across the face. HAZEL cries and crumples to the floor.) SARAH Leave her alone! HELEN Well, now were completely screwed. No knife, so no justice. Any bright ideas on what we do now, Emily? SARAH Look, lets face it weve lost. Theres nothing we can do. Lets just let him go. HELEN What? EMILY And you think thats our best choice, do you? You believe that we can just untie him, say, No hard feelings, eh? and just walk away from here? Whats stopping him from heading straight to the nearest Police Station and reporting us? SARAH He wouldnt do that. EMILY Really? And why not? SARAH Well, for one, whats he going to say? Excuse me officer, Ive just been kidnapped by a gang of four women. Very well, sir, do you
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think you could identify them again? Well, the leader of the group was the woman I raped a month ago. He cant go to the police, because hed end up in trouble himself. EMILY Im not letting him go! Not without something! He cannot leave here unpunished! SARAH Really? And what did you have in mind? EMILY Well (Picks up one of the lanterns, hefts it in her hands) This is heavy enough. A couple of bashes on the head, and hell never be able to tell anyone about us. HELEN No! (Grabs the lantern from EMILYS hands) We are not killing him! EMILY Its a bit late to be climbing onto your high horse, isnt it? Fine, then. Well just have to go through with the original plan. HELEN But Hazel threw the knife away! Well never find it before this place opens in the morning! EMILY We dont need a knife. There are plenty of rocks around we can do it the old-fashioned way!

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SARAH You cant be serious! HELEN Oh, please tell me you are joking! EMILY Well, why the hell not? Look, what are the other options? Let him go, leave him here, or kill him. Youve said no to all three. This is the only option weve got left. (HELEN and EMILY square off to each other.) HELEN Look, if youre so het up about it, why dont you go and do it? EMILY Fine! I will. (EMILY turns and begins to stride towards JACK, but is stopped by HAZEL, who jumps on her back. A fight ensues, with HELEN attempting to subdue HAZEL, while EMILY struggles to get to JACK; both HAZEL and SARAH are determined to stop her. Unable to control himself, JACK begins to laugh at the spectacle in front of him at first quietly, then louder and louder. Eventually, all four women are lying on the floor, exhausted, when they become aware of JACK'S laughter. Slowly, each of them turns their eyes towards him.) JACK Look at you all. Youre pathetic. You drag me out here, into the middle of nowhere, with all sorts of feminist schemes in mind, and what happens? First, you cant bring yourself to actually do it, then Saint Hazel here goes and throws away the bloody knife! So where are we now? Ill give you a quick recap. You cant castrate me any more not that it seems you could in the first place. You cant kill
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me. So the only choice you have now is, do you let me go now, or do you leave me here, where Ill be found in the morning? I hate to break it to you, girls, but Ive won. Im sat here, tied up and bound to this poxy crate, unable to do anything and Ive still beaten you. HELEN Shut up! Fucking shut up! JACK Ah, Helen quite the little warrior princess, arent we? I applaud your determination, if nothing else breaking into my apartment, calling up all those girls from my book, planning this evening so carefully. Its just a shame that resolve left you at the critical moment, isnt it? The next time you get it into your head to follow some half-arsed commando raid on someone, make sure you have the balls to see it through? Sarah who are you trying to fool? Me? The others? Yourself? Because I dont think its working. You spout all this therapy-speak, about closure and accepting your past and moving on, but the truth is, youre as fucked up as the rest of these girls. And whats this constant jabber about confronting your demons? Im no demon: Im as human as you. Ask Helen, shell tell you, Im just a a guy who cant control his prick, wasnt it, Helen? A pathetic worm? So go find your demons to slay somewhere else. On the other hand, we have Emily someone who really could do with a couple of sessions to sort herself out. Is it any wonder I couldnt have sex with you? What kind of freak wants to be abused, manipulated, hurt? I felt sick when I saw how you had lied to me to try and get what you wanted. You used me! EMILY So Im a freak, am I? Well, at least that would have put us on an even footing two sickos together! I lied to you because thats what you wanted! You wanted me to be innocent, loyal, corruptible so thats what I became.

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JACK You lied! There was no boyfriend working far from home! You manipulated me just the same as all those other women you proved to me that its use or be used! You want to know something, Helen? If youre still looking for someone to blame for what happened to you, have a chat with Emily here. If she hadnt fucked me over like that, I wouldnt have been so determined to win my next conquest probably wouldnt even have considered using drugs! I was doing fine till she came along its her fault I got so desperate! And so now, we come to the piece de resistance. Hazel. Dear, sweet, gullible Hazel. Has it really been two years since I left, never looked back? It seems so long ago now. And what did you do? Did you learn to get on with your life? Allow the scars to heal, and move on, a bitter but wiser woman? No. I bet you moved back in with Mum and Dad, and sat there doing nothing, picking at the scabs. HAZEL Thats not true. Its all my fault! This isnt the Jack I fell in love with, who used to come home with flowers for me for no reason. This is just what you said a bitter version of my Jack. If I hadnt betrayed you if I hadnt slept with your best friend then youd never have given up on women. You would never have become so twisted and hateful towards us. Its my fault! JACK Oh, please, dont tell me you still believe that? OK, lets rip down the blinkers and let some sun into Hazel-world, shall we? Firstly those flowers? I brought those home when Id been screwing around. I figured the least I could do for my good and faithful wifey was bring her a little bouquet, thank her for being so understanding even if she didnt know what she was being so accepting of. And as for sleeping with my best mate: it never happened. You were drunk, and fell unconscious it was all I could do to drag you upstairs. And while I was doing it, I thought, Hey, heres my perfect exit out of this mess. See, Id been trying to leave you for months by that time. But each time it looked like I might be able to
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get away, you had to be nice; promising to change whatever it was had upset me, swearing that it would be better. I just felt like screaming! And now, here was the ideal opportunity and you couldnt argue, because you were comatose! So I just dropped you in bed next to Mike, waited fifteen minutes or so, then stormed in all furious. It was such a relief to get out of your place I was afraid Id bust a gut laughing right there in front of you! HAZEL You dont mean that! JACK Yes yes, I do. Maybe I cared for you once, but youd stopped being a challenge to me. Id broken you. Id gotten bored and frankly, you were beginning to seriously cramp my style with the other girls. Its kind of difficult to be out on the pull when your trusting and beloved partner keeps ringing you, checking that youre OK, and that youll be home soon. You know, you became just like Emily here so eager to please, you ended up leaving me limp. (HAZEL grabs hold of JACK, and kisses him deeply, then breaks off the embrace.) HAZEL Im sorry. (Pausing only for a second to gather her resolve, HAZEL plunges her hand inside Jacks boxers, and wrenches at his genitals. Blood begins to spurt, as Jacks eyes bulge and he screams silently. As he draws in his next breath, the screams become audible. He gags, coughs, and screams the blood continues to flow. HAZEL, collapses down at his side, weeping uncontrollably. SARAH comes over, picks her up, and slowly walks her off-stage, comforting her. HELEN turns from the scene, retching violently. Only EMILY seems to be
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unmoved by the scene, and watches the flow almost curiously. Finally, satisfied, she crosses over to HELEN. They exchange a final gaze before EMILY walks off in the same direction as HAZEL and SARAH. HELEN slowly gets to her feet, and crosses to where she placed her lantern earlier.) JACK (weakly, pleading) Help. Please. Im bleeding. You have to help me. Call an ambulance, get a blanket, something. Please. (HELEN picks up her lantern and begins to walk back in the same direction as the others. Just before she leaves the stage, she turns back to JACK. What he sees in her eyes stops the pleading for help.) HELEN Goodbye, Jack. (HELEN turns back, and walks off-stage, leaving JACK alone. For one moment longer, we see JACK sitting there, blood oozing over his shorts and thighs. Then, the lights fade and the curtain falls.) THE END

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48

Thank You

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CHARACTERS JACOB: a bubbly, friendly man in his late twenties. Jacob is eager to please and slightly over-excited a little like a puppy. Whilst he is the one who has kidnapped Kevin, he is by far the more innocent of the two. KEVIN: an older man, later thirties or early forties. Much more cynical and worldly than Jacob, and prone to outbursts of anger. SETTING The entire action of the play takes place in a sparsely-furnished bedroom. There is an unmade bed, a simple chair, and a wardrobe no other furniture. TIME Early evening. The play takes place in real-time.

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THANK YOU
(The play opens on a small bedroom, sparsely furnished. A bare bed (just base and mattress; possibly a pillow, but no sheets or duvet) is against one wall, and a chair is in the middle of the room; against another wall is a wardrobe, with an animal costume hanging on the door; other than that, the room is bare of any decoration. There are two figures in the room, KEVIN and JACOB: JACOB is lying on the bed, wearing a casual shirt and trousers. He is frowning at a crossword in a newspaper or magazine, sucking a pencil in one corner of his mouth. KEVIN, dressed in a plain t-shirt and jeans, is bound to the chair hand and foot, and has a rough burlap-style sack over his head. His head droops in unconsciousness as the lights come up, but after a moment or two, he jerks beneath the sack, coming to.) KEVIN Whuh? Whats whats going on? (JACOB jumps up excitedly from the bed, throwing the magazine and pencil down on the mattress.) JACOB Hiya! You OK? KEVIN Whos that? Where am I? JACOB Oh, wow! I cant believe Im actually talking to you! KEVIN
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Who are you? (KEVIN struggles against his bonds as he realizes hes bound) Why why cant I move my arms? Or my legs? JACOB Thank you oh, thank you so much for being here! KEVIN (spitting out the words now) Hey! What the fuck is going on? Who are you? Help! HELP! JACOB (soothingly) Hey, its OK its OK. KEVIN OK?! Its not fucking OK! What the fuck is going on? Who the fuck are you? Where the fuck am I? Why the fuck am I tied to this chair? And why the fuck do I have a sack over my head? JACOB Oh OH! Im so, so sorry how stupid of me. (JACOB removes the sack from KEVIN'S head) There we go (cheerfully, as KEVIN looks at him blearily) Hello!

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(KEVIN takes a moment to look at his surroundings. Horror begins to dawn as he realizes his predicament.) KEVIN Oh, god. Oh, my god. (his voice flat with terror) What are you going to do to me? JACOB Do to you? Nothing! Id never do anything to upset you or hurt you! Youre just youre just wonderful! But wait where are my manners? Would you like a cup of tea? Pause KEVIN Tea? JACOB Mmm tea. KEVIN (mockingly) Well, that depends what kind of tea do you have? JACOB Ooh, good question! Lets see, Ive got peppermint, chamomile, roobosh, Earl Grey Um, Ill just pop down to the kitchen and see what I can find. Dont go anywhere (giggles) (JACOB leaves the bedroom. KEVIN takes the opportunity to test his bonds more thoroughly, really thrashing about in the chair. The knots are too tight, though, and all he ends
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up doing is tipping the chair onto its side. JACOB re-enters the room with a tray, containing two plastic mugs of tea, a straw and a small plastic plate of Oreo cookies. One of the cups is the type used by people with severe disabilities wide at the base, with a narrow brim. He sees KEVIN struggling on the floor, quickly puts the tray on the floor, and strides over to help right him. Its a challenge, but eventually KEVIN is back upright, still bound to the chair.) JACOB Im very upset you tried to do that, KEVIN. We were just about to have a lovely cup of tea together I even opened a pack of Oreos just for you, since I know you like them so much. But now well, we have to do something about this, dont we? (JACOB puts the sack back over KEVIN'S head and leaves the room again, and returns quickly carrying two stout pieces of wood, dustpan and brush, and a tool bag. He drops them loudly on the floor, making KEVIN jump. JACOB begins to unpack the tools from the bag cordless drill, hammer, screwdriver and then reaches up to take the sack off again.) I was going to make you wear this for a while, because you upset me but I think its more important that you see what Im doing and understand, Im only doing this because I care about you. OK? KEVIN What what are you talking about? (JACOB says nothing more, but continues to unpack various items from the tool bag nails, screws, a chisel, and so on. Finally all the tools are laid out. He then takes one of the pieces of
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wood and places it at the base of the chair, in front of the legs and resting KEVIN'S feet on it.) JACOB Now, its very important that you sit still as I do this and dont talk to me. I need to concentrate, otherwise this could go horribly wrong. (JACOB turns around and picks up the cordless drill, pressing the trigger once or twice to check its charge. He begins to bring the drill bit nearer to the chair leg, his free hand taking a firm grip of KEVIN'S leg to hold it still. KEVIN begins to struggle, but the bonds and JACOB'S grip are too tight.) KEVIN No No! Please, no! (JACOB presses the trigger on the drill and starts up the drill, bringing it slowly closer and closer until the bit begins to bite into the wood of the chair leg. He bores in a short distance, then stops, inspects his work, and nods satisfied. He goes back to the various bits he pulled out and grabs a metal bracket, bent at 90 degrees, and screws the bracket to the chair leg. He then takes a second, longer screw and fixes the bracket to the timber and into the floor. KEVIN lets out an explosive sigh of relief) Oh thank God! Thank God JACOB What? KEVIN
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I thought I thought you were going to JACOB What? (beat, as realization dawns) JACOB No! Oh, thats thats sick! You have a nasty imagination! (JACOB continues to mutter to himself in agitation as he continues the job, fixing a bracket to each of the chair legs and screwing them through the plank into the floor. Once done, he rocks the chair slightly, confirming it is secure, then goes back to his bag and packs all the tools away again. Lastly, he sweeps up the sawdust in the dustpan and brush.) Right Ill just get these tidied away, then we can try and start again. (JACOB leaves the room once more with the tools and dustpan. KEVIN tests the chair once more, but is unable to do anything but buck at the hips the chair is now totally secure. JACOB returns again, and picks up the tray, and stands in front of KEVIN.) Now, Ive added a little cold water to your tea, so that you can drink it through the straw we dont want it melting, do we? (JACOB puts the straw in the cup and offers it to KEVIN. KEVIN refuses to open his mouth, and just stares in silent fury at his captor. JACOB moves the straw closer to his lips, but KEVIN turns his head JACOB steps away.) Look you havent had any food or fluids for -

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(checks watch) - five hours now youre weak and hungry, and you have to have something. We can do this one of two ways nice and easy, through the straw or I hold your nose until you have to open your mouth to breathe, and then I pour this down your throat. Its going to be messy and uncomfortable, and some might go down the wrong way and choke you a little. I dont want to do that, and Im sure you dont want me to, either. So how about we give this one more try the civilized way? (KEVIN glares at JACOB, but leans his head forward to take the straw in his mouth, and begins to sip the tea. JACOB looks down benignly at KEVIN.) I used to have one of these cups, you know back at the Institute KEVIN finishes drinking and pushes the straw back out of his mouth. KEVIN Ive had enough. JACOB Well, thank you for co-operating. I really wasnt looking forward to the idea of having to force you. And thank you for not blowing bubbles, like some of my old housemates used to that really gets on my nerves. (JACOB puts the cup back on the tray and picks up a cookie. He separates the two halves, licks the middle, then puts the reformed cookie back in his mouth in one bite, clearly savoring the taste. As he continues to chew, he picks up a second cookie, twists it open, and holds the cream half in front of KEVIN'S mouth. KEVIN looks at him incredulously.)

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KEVIN You have got to be fucking joking. JACOB Go on I know theyre your favorites. (pause) JACOB I can wait all day like this if I have to. (A longer pause then, beaten, KEVIN leans forward, tongue extended, and slowly licks the Oreo.) See? That wasnt so bad, was it? Now, open wide (KEVIN opens his mouth, and JACOB pushes the whole cookie into his mouth, quickly pulling his hand back before KEVIN gets any ideas.) Right, Ill be back in a minute just have to go to the little boys room. Oh, if you feel a need, let me know Ive got a bottle for you to use. (JACOB exits into the bathroom. KEVIN starts to consider the implications of JACOB'S last statement the image of JACOB undoing his zipper, exposing his penis, and manipulating it into the neck of the bottle. The horror of this causes him to thrash once more against his bonds, trying desperately to escape. He is so busy struggling that he doesnt hear the toilet flush behind him, and JACOB entering the room.) JACOB

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(shouting) Bastard! KEVIN I didnt do anything!! Please dont hurt me! JACOB (calmly) What? Oh, no! Not you I would never use a potty word like that about you. No, its this crossword Im working on. (He walks over to the bed, and picks up his magazine) See? 5 down, 7 letters something pennyroyal: aromatic plant of the Eastern United States. KEVIN What? JACOB Its a lovely little plant such delicate blue petals. Smells gorgeous, too. (JACOB writes the clue into the crossword) Back at the Institute, I had plenty of time on my hands, so I took up botany. Once they saw that I was serious about it, they even let me help out in the gardens. KEVIN What institute? Where is this place you keep talking about? JACOB Hmm? Oh, the Bethlehem Institute a couple of miles just outside Harwood.
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KEVIN Never heard of it. JACOB Im not surprised. Its just a little private clinic they only have 20 or so visitors at a time. KEVIN Visitors? JACOB Well visitors, guests, housemates its the same thing, really. KEVIN Inmates? JACOB Oh, no, they never called us that. They said there was too much stigma attached to the old terms around mental health Bethlehem was a clean slate. KEVIN (under his breath) Shit. JACOB It was is a wonderful place; very tranquil and peaceful. It was exactly what I needed at that time; to get away from all the stresses and worries that were just beginning to get me down and crowd in on top of me. Im sure you would appreciate how a place like that has helped so many people I mean without it, there would be a lot more postal workers up the top of clock towers, you know? KEVIN I never thought of postal work as a particularly stressful job. JACOB Everything is stressful if you let it overwhelm you, Kevin.
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(KEVIN looks around the room for something to help him change the subject, and notices the costume on the wardrobe door.) KEVIN I see you're ready for Hallowe'en, then? (KEVIN nods towards costume) JACOB I'm going to a party on Saturday. KEVIN With your old "house-mates"? JACOB No, no. I've moved on from there. It's with a new friend from work. KEVIN Is it themed? JACOB Just a costume party. I'm not into these scary monster costumes, or all that blood and gore - I thought I'd go for something a bit friendlier. You know - cuddly. KEVIN (testily) Well, I hope you have a very "cuddly" time. (beat) It's probably a more comfortable fit than the straitjacket you used to wear

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JACOB There's no need to be so mean. My problems weren't that serious just things we all have every now and then but I felt I couldnt cope. Everywhere I looked, numbers seemed to be following me but thats not important now; Ive left those troubles behind me, got a new job, new apartment - a new life. And its all thanks to you. KEVIN What? JACOB Well, thats why I had to meet you to say thank you properly. You have no idea what a change you have made in my life. Everything I have now is because of your kindness and generosity. KEVIN Youve mistaken me for someone else - Ive never met you before in my life! JACOB No youre Kevin Patterson, of 546, Silver Birch Avenue. 42 years old, deputy manager of the local S-Mart Store. Currently single, although you were with Lois for five and half months. You worry about erectile dysfunction either that, or Lois was insatiable in bed and you needed the Viagra to keep up with her. You live within your means, with approximately $75 left in your account at the end of each month but you have no stock portfolio, and nothing put aside for your retirement, and the S-Mart pension plan has been frozen for the duration of our current economic problems. You dont smoke, and until recently only went to the Lincoln Lounge at the end of the week, drinking a couple of beers with your co-workers. Since Lois left you, though, youve been down there most nights, and its not unusual for you to have to call a cab to get home. Youve driven the same Mercury estate for the last four years, and KEVIN Enough! Who are you?

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JACOB Oh, I cant believe my manners how stupid of me! Im Jacob KEVIN Are you some kind of spy, or private detective, or something? How do you know so much about me? JACOB (laughs) Oh, no nothing as glamorous or exciting as that. Im just a bus driver. No, youve been very easy to learn about, Kevin. A couple of searches through your trash gave me most of it you dont shred any of your private documents, which is very risky. Theres no telling who could get their hands on all sorts of sensitive information. The rest did require a little bit of computer know-how and, dare I say, legal gray areas. But I had to do it how else was I going to thank you? KEVIN Thank me? For what? JACOB For giving me a chance to turn my life around! For being the only person on that miserable day who gave any thought for anyone except themselves. KEVIN What are you talking about? JACOB Tuesday, 10 March; 8.25 in the morning, at the junction between Park Road and Northern Boulevard. I was running late for my interview, and the traffic was horrendous I knew I should have left 15 minutes earlier, but I was just so nervous. The cars on the Boulevard were just streaming past, and not letting me out at all. I could feel the seconds ticking away, could see my hopes and dreams vanishing before me and then you stopped. You let me out. And
th

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everything since then every piece of good fortune has been because of your single act of kindness. KEVIN Youre not making any sense. What interview? JACOB To be allowed my own life again. Id left Bethlehem some 8 months before, moved into one of the halfway houses they have dotted around the suburbs. It was nice to be out in the world, but I needed to get my independence back. That interview was the key to it all my chance to prove to the Board that I could function well, could live my life without supervision. If Id been late or missed the interview slot, I would have had to wait 6 months before getting another chance. But thanks to you to your selflessness I was able to walk in there with confidence. They approved my discharge, I was able to find a new apartment and a less stressful job my life has blossomed since then, and I had to find some way to repay my gratitude. KEVIN And you think this is the best way to do it? JACOB Oh, I thought about other ways to thank you, but nothing seemed appropriate. I couldnt just walk up to you in the street youd run a mile from a complete stranger being so grateful. So I thought I should get to know you a bit better before we finally got a chance to meet. Im lucky I have a good memory for numbers and such so I was able to memorize your license plate as I drove past and found your details online. KEVIN So you had my address wouldnt a letter or some kind of gift have been better? JACOB Well, I tried to write so many times but the words just wouldnt come out right. Thats when I knew it had to be face to face like
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this; to give me a chance to express properly just how indebted I am for what you did. But I did get you a present. KEVIN A present? JACOB It took me a long time to find the right gift, believe me your garbage offered no clues. But Facebook and Myspace proved more useful. Once I knew what I was looking for, I trawled through eBay searching for the right one, but I finally found this. (JACOB goes over to the bed, and reaches behind it, pulling out a battered and worn old teddy bear.) KEVIN Mr. Snuggles? JACOB Well, obviously its not the Mr. Snuggles I tried, but I couldnt track him down. (places the teddy on Kevins lap) Your kiddie pics are so cute! KEVIN I I dont know what to say. Im genuinely speechless. Thank you thank you very much. I haven't seen him for - god, for 26 years! JACOB (quickly does the math) You still had him when you were 16?

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KEVIN He was very special to me! He was a present from my Aunt Bess, for being such a good boy when I stayed with her one summer. But my mother threw him away when... well, she said I was too big to be playing with teddies any more. (pause. KEVIN shifts slightly in his chair) So can I go now? JACOB Go? KEVIN Well., weve spoken, youve explained why Im here, youve said thank you, and youve given me this wonderful gift you have no idea what this means to me, by the way but Im sure you have other things you need to be getting on with now? JACOB Oh, no, its fine Ive taken a few days leave from work. Hey, the Skins are playing the Eagles tonight I thought I could drag the TV in here and watch the game together. KEVIN Tonight? Its a Monday? JACOB Well, of course it is. KEVIN Monday? What happened to the weekend? JACOB Oh, you slept right through. Those sedatives were a little more powerful than I expected, if Im honest. They never used to have so strong an effect on me.

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KEVIN (quietly to himself) Oh my god. JACOB Everything OK there? KEVIN Yes, its fine. Listen I dont suppose you could loosen these straps a little, could you? Its been so long since Ive had a chance to hold Mr. Snuggles. (JACOB crosses over to the front of KEVIN, and looks at him appraisingly. For a moment, it looks as though he might actually undo the arms straps; then he picks up Mr. Snuggles, and presses it against KEVIN'S lips; JACOB doesnt register it, but KEVIN'S eyes close in pleasure. JACOB then puts Mr. Snuggles into KEVIN'S hand, then turns round to pick up the tray of tea and cookies.) JACOB I almost believed you there - but Im not quite sure youre ready to be free yet. (beat) Right, lets get these back downstairs - unless you want another cookie? KEVIN No, no. Im cookied out. See you in a minute (JACOB exits the room, leaving KEVIN alone with Mr. Snuggles. He waits for a few second, to make sure that JACOB is really gone, and then begins to rub Mr. Snuggles against his crotch. His eyes close in sexual pleasure, and the pace quickens somewhat. At a sound outside the bedroom door, however,
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he stops quickly and resumes his previous pose. JACOB re-enters the bedroom. ) JACOB If you do feel a bit peckish later, or you want another drink, let me know, OK? KEVIN Uh sure, yes, thank you. JACOB Oh, thats fine - just being a good host. (pause) KEVIN Thanks again for the gift, by the way. I really, really appreciate what youve done. JACOB Dont mention it - its nothing compared to what you did for me. KEVIN (beat) your plans for the weekend sound like fun. JACOB The party? Yeah, its going to be great. KEVIN Do you know how any of the others are going to be dressed? JACOB Um, let me see Jerrys dressing as Captain Hook, Sues going to be the Pink Panther Im not sure what Chris is going to wear, but itll be something nasty and gory Heathers dressing as Cheetara -

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KEVIN (feigning innocence) Who? JACOB Oh, shes a character from an 80s TV series - Thundercats? KEVIN Oh, right. Yes, I think I vaguely remember them. JACOB I wanted to go as Scooby Doo - it was going to be a joke, with Dave dressing as Shaggy - but I couldnt find the right costume. So now hes going as James Bond, and Im wearing this dog costume. KEVIN It looks nice. JACOB Thanks. Yeah, itll be fun to wear it - I wonder if anyone will recognise me? KEVIN Have you tried it on yet? JACOB Well, I tried the head on in the shop, to make sure I could see out of the eye-holes OK, and that it wasnt too tight - but I wasnt allowed to put the whole costume on. KEVIN Could you - Shall we check it fits now? You dont want to put it on the first time on Saturday and realise its the wrong size, after all. JACOB Good idea. OK, give me a minute.

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(JACOB picks up the costume from the wardrobe door and exits into the bathroom. KEVIN takes advantage of the moment alone to rub Mr. Snuggles against his crotch again, clearly getting more and more aroused. JACOB re-enters - having gotten into costume - and makes a noise as he comes back in, giving KEVIN just enough time to recompose himself before JACOB notices.) JACOB There we go - what do you think? (JACOB moves across stage to stand in front of KEVIN, who is clearly aroused further by the sight of JACOB in costume, but tries his best to hide it.) KEVIN Its yeah, it suits you. JACOB How does it look from the back? Does it fit OK? (JACOB does a semi-twirl for KEVIN, causing his tail to twitch.) KEVIN (croaks Yarp JACOB (turning back) Pardon? KEVIN I mean its a little baggy. Can you take it in a bit?

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JACOB Like this, you mean? (JACOB take a handful of the costume from the back and pulls it tighter, making the costume cling tightly around his crotch.) KEVIN Oh yes, thats better. Thats much better. JACOB OK, thanks - Ill make sure I pin it up for the party. KEVIN Good idea. (beat) Could - could I get another drink, please? JACOB Oh, sure. More tea? KEVIN Yeah, thatll be fine, thanks. (JACOB goes to leave, then stops, and returns to KEVIN.) JACOB I think we are ready for a little trust between us now, dont you? (JACOB unties KEVIN'S wrist straps, leaving him bound at the elbow - hes still unable to free himself, but has a little more freedom to move his arms. JACOB then exits the room to make the drinks. As soon as JACOB goes, KEVIN fumbles with his flies and unzips himself, then maneuvers Mr Snuggles so his
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head is rubbing against his exposed penis. He begins to simulate Mr Snuggles giving him oral sex, bringing himself closer and closer to climax. He becomes so lost in his pleasuring that he doesnt hear JACOB come back in with the tray. JACOB stands shocked by what he sees for a moment, then, just as KEVIN is about to cum -) JACOB What the hell are you doing? KEVN Fuck! (Its too late: KEVIN cums into Mr Snuggles fur. There is a stunned silence as KEVIN finishes his orgasm. Then, regaining his composure, he removes Mr Snuggles matted fur from his crotch and re-zips his fly. Pause.) KEVIN Sorry about that. JACOB (stammering) Uh uh KEVIN Its just been so long since weve seen each other. JACOB And this is how you catch up? KEVIN Well, you know how it is - you meet up with an old childhood friend, and you fall back into the old habits so quickly.
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JACOB Oh, God. KEVIN Its OK, though, a quick trip in the washing machine and hell be good as new again. JACOB (with dawning realisation) Wait a minute - those tickets for the pony club in your trash I thought you were going to the local gymkhana! KEVIN Mmmmm - that was a great evening. (JACOB sets down the tray, and moves quickly over to KEVIN, unstrapping him completely.) JACOB I think its time you left. KEVIN What? But the game JACOB I dont think that would be appropriate. Please, just go. KEVIN But we were getting along so well JACOB Get out, you pervert! (KEVIN stands.)

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KEVIN Very well. I know when Im not welcome. (beat) Do you have a grocery bag I can carry Mr Snuggles in? JACOB Get out! (KEVIN walks calmly towards the door, then stops when he reaches JACOB. Suddenly he puts his hands on the back of JACOB'S head and pulls him in for a long passionate kiss, Gone With the Wind-style. JACOB struggles, but cannot get out of KEVIN'S embrace. Finally KEVIN lets go, and JACOB backs off, shocked and panting.) KEVIN Stay good doggie. (KEVIN walks out of the room, calm and confident, completely unrepentant. JACOB just stands there in the middle of the room, shell-shocked by the final moments. Lights fade.) THE END.

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Azoth

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CHARACTERS FATHER: An experienced member of the Dorianites, who introduces the Initiate to the Initiate to the club and prepares him for the ritual. He is dressed in smart-casual clothing: an open-necked shirt and well-pressed trousers. MOTHER: An experienced member of the Dorianites, who performs the initiation ritual for the Initiate. She is dressed in a simple shift-like tunic to her knees, which is held up by a broochstyle pin at one shoulder. Beneath the tunic she is wearing a basque, and lacy underwear. INITIATE: A new would-be member of the Dorianites, jaded by common hedonistic pleasures and looking for the next hit. He is dressed similarly to the Father to begin with: however, he is stripped to his boxers at the beginning of the play, and remains dressed so throughout the ritual. SETTING The entire action of the play takes place in a single chamber of the club. It is stark and simply illuminated. There is one throne-like chair, with a footstool between its legs. On the arms of the chair and on its front legs, there are leather straps. To one side of the chair is a table with various props on it: a wine bottle, a sheathed knife, a goblet, a pot of honey, a bunch of grapes, a bowl of water and a wash-cloth, a dog collar and a length of chain/leash. These are covered, except for the bottle and goblet, by a square of silk. Hidden from view behind the chair are a hammer and chisel, and a dildo. TIME Evening. The play takes place in real-time.

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AZOTH
(A chamber in a secret club, somewhere in the city. A throne-like chair, restraints at the ankles and wrists, is centre-stage. To its side is a table, with various props on it for now, we can only see a bottle of mead, a goblet, and a silk square covering other items. Other than this, the chamber appears to be empty.) (Enter FATHER conversation) and INITIATE, mid-

FATHER So do you have any questions before we begin? INITIATE Well there is one... FATHER Go on. INITIATE Will... you be performing the ritual? FATHER (laughs) No new members are always welcomed by someone from the opposite gender or rather, someone of their sexual preference. We have a Mother waiting to bring you into the Dorianites, don't worry. INITIATE OK no offence, but that's a relief. FATHER You're not the first person to ask that question.
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INITIATE I still can't believe how lucky I was to meet you that night. FATHER Oh, luck had nothing to do with it. INITIATE (warily) Really? FATHER Oh, yes we always have at least one of our members at other club events, looking out for those... jaded by the pleasures on offer. If it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else. INITIATE Oh for a moment there I thought you were going to say something about fate or destiny! FATHER The Dorianites is not a cult simply a private club for people with like-minded interests. INITIATE Sorry I didn't mean to offend you. FATHER Don't worry about it. Now, are you ready? INITIATE I suppose so. FATHER Then let us begin. (FATHER begins to undress the INITIATE during the next exchange, stripping him down
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to his boxer shorts.) FATHER Tell me how you have prepared for this moment. INITIATE I have eaten only bread for 7 days, and eaten nothing for 3. I have drunk only water for a week, and last drank at the last sunset. I have not smoked or taken any drugs for the passing of a moon, and I have abstained from sexual contact with others or myself - for a fortnight. FATHER Then your body is prepared. Tell me who you are, and what do you seek? INITIATE I am nameless, and seek admission into the Order of the Dorianites. FATHER Nameless you are all identity has been stripped from you. You stand at the threshold of a new beginning. Prepare to meet your Mother and be reborn. (Having finished undressing the INITIATE, FATHER sits him in the throne. He takes the silk square and ties it across the INITIATE'S eyes as a blindfold we can glimpse the other items previously hidden: a bowl of water and wash-cloth, a pot of honey, a bunch of grapes, a dog collar and chain leash, and a sheathed knife. Once he has tied the blindfold, FATHER pours a measure of mead into the goblet, and exits, taking the bottle with him. From the opposite side of the chamber, enters MOTHER. She is dressed in a simple shifttype tunic, fastened at one shoulder by a brooch pin. Around her neck is a fine chain, and the pendant of the chain is a small
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stoppered bottle filled with a green liquid.) MOTHER What is it you seek? INITIATE I seek admission into the Order of the Dorianites MOTHER You stand at the first doorway the Gate of Innocence are you ready to pass through? INITIATE I am. (MOTHER takes the goblet, un-stoppers the bottle on her chain, and pours a small amount into the drink.) MOTHER Take this and drink from it to open your eyes and your mind to the new world before you. (MOTHER holds the goblet to the INITIATES lips and he drinks, grimacing at the bitter taste.) INITIATE What is that? MOTHER It is mead plus a concoction of our own devising, to help you see more clearly as we progress through the initiation. (MOTHER waits until the INITIATE has finished drinking the whole draught, then replaces the goblet on the table, picking up the grapes.)

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MOTHER You have starved yourself of the pleasures of food and drink let those pleasures now be re-awoken. (MOTHER removes one of the grapes from the bunch, and holds it to the INITIATES lips. He takes it into his mouth, and clearly enjoys the feeling of food again. MOTHER repeats this action twice more, then replaces the grapes on the table. She takes a spoon, and drizzles honey onto her bare arm, once more pressing it to the INITIATES mouth. He tastes it gingerly, then eagerly licks her arm clean. Once clean, MOTHER uses the washcloth to wipe away the residue from her arm, then moves round behind the throne.) Do you swear to submit yourself to the edicts of the Order of Dorianites, and follow our traditions in every way? INITIATE I do. (MOTHER bends and bites the INITIATE on the neck. It is not that hard, but the contact surprises the blindfolded INITIATE. She takes up the collar from the table, and fastens it around the INITIATES neck.) MOTHER Wear this as a symbol of your submission to me and the Order. (MOTHER unties the blindfold, and steps once more in front of the INITIATE, allowing him to see her for the first time.) You have starved yourself of carnal pleasures let these pleasures also be re-awoken.

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(MOTHER unpins her brooch and allows the tunic to fall to one side, revealing a sexy basque and underwear beneath. After letting the INITIATES gaze linger over her body for a moment, she kneels between his legs, and begins to perform fellatio upon him. The INITIATE is visibly enjoying this.) INITIATE Oh... oh, god yes... Mmmmmmm... (inhales sharply) Ow! Steady mind your teeth! (MOTHER stops what she is doing, stands back up, and stands to one side of the front of the throne, looking calmly at the INITIATE.) Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt (Still calmly, with no hint of malice or sadistic pleasure, MOTHER slaps the INITIATE across the face with a forehand blow.) OW! I'm sorry (MOTHER slaps his face again, this time with a backhand. The INITIATE is stunned into silence; there is a pause, then MOTHER caresses the cheek gently, stepping behind the throne once more.) MOTHER You stand now at the threshold to the second doorway the Gate of Knowledge. Are you ready to pass through? INITIATE I am.
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(MOTHER begins to give the INITIATE a sensual massage of his shoulders and neck, easing the tension held there by the shock of the slaps.) MOTHER Everything you have experienced in your life thus far, no matter how wild or exotic you feel it may have been, has taken you no further than this point. Whatever hedonistic acts you may have enjoyed, they are the acts of an innocent, when compared to the true joys of experience joys which you will learn among the Dorianites. There are many who come to the Order, expecting to find the latest thrill in their jaded lives, looking for nothing more than a simple sexual buzz. We recognise these types, and send them away disappointed. Within the hearts of a fortunate few, however, we find a spark of true yearning the capacity to receive everything that life can offer. Sometimes, these Chosen are unaware of their potential themselves and so we awaken them, and educate them to the full capabilities of their being. The truth is, in all things, bliss can be found: in chaos and order; ugliness and beauty; pleasure... and pain. (As she finishes this speech, MOTHER takes hold of the knife and unsheathes it. On her last words, she slices deep into the skin over the INITIATE'S shoulder blade. INITIATE Argh! (MOTHER makes a second incision, and the INITIATE falls to the floor, reeling with the pain. He lands with his back to the audience, they can clearly see the chevron carved into his flesh. MOTHER kneels by him, slips the edge of the blade beneath the flap, and begins to peel it off the muscle. When the triangle of
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skin is peeled away and exposed to the audience, she takes hold of the INITIATE beneath the chin and lifts him back into the chair, quickly binding his wrists in the straps fixed to the armrests. Once the INITIATE is secure, she steps behind him, and slowly cuts away the flap of flayed skin. Holding it up, she then forces into the INITIATE'S mouth. As he gags on the taste of his own flesh, she carves off another slice, and eats it herself. She then replaces the knife on the table, and once more uncorks the bottle on her neck-chain. Tipping it over the wound, she drips a few drops of the oil onto the exposed flesh. The INITIATE reacts.) INITIATE What what are you doing? MOTHER The oils you drank within the mead are a potent mix when ingested but they work even more quickly when applied directly into the bloodstream. Along with the heightened sensations you already feel, you will also begin to feel a sense of intense euphoria very soon. (The INITIATE'S ragged panting of pain slowly subsides, and becomes more even. MOTHER re-stoppers the bottle, and picks up the wash-cloth and basin. Starting at his brow and working down, she begins to wash him clean during the next speech. MOTHER I remember my life before I was welcomed into the Order. I was voracious and insatiable no one and nothing could quell the hunger within me. I'd tried everything men, women, drugs of all types, anything that might provide that thrill. I'd starve myself to get thin; then overeat just to see the change in myself. I would sample every epicurean delight I could find. Nothing filled the aching hole
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within me. It was not until I sat where you are now, and realised that all of these so-called pleasures were simply corrupted forms of the pure sensation the Dorianites offer. Now I find myself sated and complete, in a way those outside these walls wouldn't even dream of. (Having reached his feet, she places each foot on the footstool to wash it, then straps it in place. The second foot is left raised on the footstool once strapped.) All members of the Order must give of themselves, to show their commitment to our Truth. You now stand at the third doorway the Gate of Sacrifice. Are you ready to pass through? INITIATE (beat) I am. (MOTHER reaches behind the footstool and picks up a previously hidden hammer and chisel. She places the chisel to rest over the INITIATE'S middle toe, and hefts the hammer in preparation.) INITIATE Wait what are you (MOTHER adjusts her position, and brings the hammer crashing down onto the head of the chisel, severing the INITIATE'S toe from his foot. The INITIATE screams: MOTHER stands, picking up the toe and placing it in the wash-basin. As the INITIATE takes a breath ready to scream again, she moves forward quickly, sealing her lips over his, and kisses him deeply. At first the INITIATE simply screams into her mouth; then the scream dies and he begins to return the kiss. Sensing his
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growing passion, MOTHER unbinds his hands, allowing him to take hold of her body. Eventually she breaks the kiss, takes a step away from the chair; then turns around and straddles his lap. Leaning behind her, she shifts her gusset to one side, and places his fingers inside her. She grinds against his hand as he begins to finger her, both of them clearly becoming more and more aroused. She breaks off the masturbations before the point of orgasm however, and steps away from the chair once more, re-composing her underwear. She turns, unstraps the INITIATE'S ankles, then reaches behind the chair, bringing back a large dildo. Standing to one side of the INITIATE, she gazes firmly at him as she opens the bottle at her neck once more and pours a liberal amount onto the dildo, lubricating it well. She replaces the bottle on its chain.) MOTHER You stand at the fourth doorway the Gate of Understanding. Are you ready to pass through? INITIATE Yes. (With a swift movement, MOTHER takes hold of the INITIATE'S neck and pushes him forward. He tumbles out of the chair and lands on his hands and knees. MOTHER kneels behind him, and pulls down the back of his shorts. Rubbing one hand up the length of the dildo, she then presses those fingers against the INITIATE'S backside. As he realises what is about to happen, he tries to struggle, but MOTHER grabs hold of his collar and holds him in place.)
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INITIATE No, please no, NO! (MOTHER thrusts forward and penetrates the INITIATE, forcing a scream from him. She pauses for a moment to reach over to the table and grab the leash-chain, attaching it to the collar with practised ease. Pulling back on the chain with one hand, she then begins to sodomise the INITIATE. The oils on the dildo start to have their effect on the INITIATE; his cries of protest gradually peter out, and moans of pleasure take their place. The moans grow in intensity and passion, until the INITIATE cries out in orgasm, and then collapses, utterly spent. Enter FATHER, a branding iron tipped with a curious sigil in one hand. Together, FATHER and MOTHER gently lift the INITIATE back into the chair, where he sits, all but catatonic.) Father You have passed through all four gates Innocence, Knowledge, Sacrifice and Understanding. You stand at the final doorway the Gate of Welcoming. (FATHER presses the brand to the INITIATE'S upper arm the INITIATE doesn't respond to the burning. FATHER removes the brand to reveal the mark of the Order now branded onto the INITIATE'S skin.) MOTHER You are Nameless no more now you may step into the light as our Brother in the Order of Dorianites. FATHER In time, you will welcome others as we have welcomed you. And so
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the legacy of the Order will continue into ageless eternity. MOTHER Let us leave our Brother to return to us in his own time. (Exeunt MOTHER and FATHER, leaving the INITIATE still in the chair branded, raped, flayed, and dismembered but with a light smile playing upon his face.) THE END

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