Lecture 4 Principled negotiation Insist on using 4 objective Criteria Invent Options for 3 mutual gain 2 Focus on Interests, not position
Separate the People 1
from the problem. Separate the People from the problem People Separate the People from the problem
It is so hard to deal with problems without
the misunderstanding of people against each other, they often get , upset and take things personally. Separate the People from the problem Negotiators are people first
As a basic fact of negotiation, you are not dealing with abstract representatives but with who have:
1) values,
2) emotions
3) different viewpoints and backgrounds.
Same to you. Separate the People from the problem The human aspect of negotiation could be or disastrous.
HOW?? Separate the People from the problem The agreement process: Offended Angry People Respect Trust Friendship leads to the fail of negotiation Smoother and Efficient Negotiation Frustrated Hostile
The agreement process: Depressed
In one hand, the relationship On the other hand, people get angry, where respect, trust & hostile, depressed, frustrated and friendship could make offended which leads to the fail of negotiation smoother and negotiation. efficient. Separate the People from the problem The question is:
“Are you paying enough attention to the people’s problem??”
Separate the People from the problem Every negotiator has two kinds of interests,
Substance Relationship
Positional bargaining puts relationship & substance in conflict.
Ex: If you would not agree with me, this is the last time we meet. Separate the People from the problem Separate the relationship from the substance. You should deal directly with the people problem.
Substance Relationship
If misunderstanding existed, do your best to improve communication.
In order to find your way to handle people problems, you should think of
Perception Emotion Communication
Separate the People from the problem Handling people problems: Perception Perception
Conflict do not lie in objective reality but in people’s heads (their thinking). Video Car
Put yourself in the other side’s shoes because each one only see the merits of its case & the faults of the other side. Video Media
If you wanted to influence them you should understand the power of their point of view and to feel the emotional force of their belief. Separate the People from the problem Handling people problems:
Perception Separate the People from the problem
Perception Separate the People from the problem
Perception Search Give the Do Not Do Not For other Deduce Blame Opportu- side a nities say
Do Not deduce the Do not blame the to take actions that Give the other side a are consistent with say in the outcome other side’s other side for your the other side’s by participating in intentions from your problem. perception. the process. fears. Separate the People from the problem Handling people problems:
Emotion
Emotions of one side may generate emotions on the other side.
Fear may lead to anger thus bring a negotiation to an end.
Negotiation Fear Anger End Separate the People from the problem Handling people problems
Emotion
Recognize and Do Not
Clear Emotions Steam Off Gestures Understand Reach
Recognize & Make your Allow the other Do not react to Use symbolic understand emotions clear & side to let the emotional gestures emotions, yours acknowledge steam off explosion and theirs them as legitimate Separate the People from the problem Handling people problems:
Communication
Communication There is no negotiation without communication. Separate the People from the problem Handling people problems: Communicatio Communication
Listen Actively Prevention works best
1 2
Build a working Face the problem, not
3 relationship 4 the people
Speak to be understood Speak for a purpose
5 “I feel depressed” rather that “you broke your word” 6 Principled negotiation:
Principled Negotiation
Negotiating Interest based
on the merits negotiation ● Develop many options to choose from & decide later. ● Avoid searching for a single answer. ● Avoid premature judgment. ● Avoid thinking that “solving their problem is their problem”. Principled negotiation: Preparation See things from the 1 other side’s point of 3 You have to know view. Why they are your interests and negotiating? why you value them Research for the interest of the What is the issue at hand other side What are the ”needs” What are their needs (security, recognition, autonomy) Know the strengths Be aware of the 2 and weaknesses of 4 unpleasant yourself and your consequences for position Self awareness both sides if your Personality proposal/idea is not Characteristics accepted Emotional intelligence If you succeed who else might be affected or harmed? Separate the People from the problem Trying to prove Assuming same Expect reciprocity how smart or communication Preferences Big picture thinking or detailed “right” you are analyses? By talking, and talking
Stories or facts?
Time to process or get 3
decisions? 2 4 NOT Listening Assuming Common Carefully Shared Values 1 5 Mistakes Separate the People from the problem Remember… ● Pay attention to both levels ○ The issue about which decision must be made ○ Developing relationship that leads to win/win solution ● Don’t give too much credit to the other side ● You are an asset, present from strength
Emotional Intelligence Mastery: The Complete Guide for Improving Your EQ, Relationships, and Social Skills to Overcome Anxiety, Depression, Manipulation, Narcissistic Abuse, and More!
Emotional Intelligence Mastery: The Complete Guide for Improving Your EQ, Relationships, and Social Skills to Overcome Anxiety, Depression, Manipulation, Narcissistic Abuse, and More!
