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Are You Ready For Marriage

The document discusses key considerations for readiness for marriage, emphasizing the importance of managing expectations and self-awareness. It highlights common unrealistic expectations, such as relying on a spouse for happiness or personal growth, and stresses that individuals should work on their own issues before marriage. Additionally, it advises on recognizing red flags in oneself and potential partners, focusing on values and compatibility.

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shingo kurota
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61 views1 page

Are You Ready For Marriage

The document discusses key considerations for readiness for marriage, emphasizing the importance of managing expectations and self-awareness. It highlights common unrealistic expectations, such as relying on a spouse for happiness or personal growth, and stresses that individuals should work on their own issues before marriage. Additionally, it advises on recognizing red flags in oneself and potential partners, focusing on values and compatibility.

Uploaded by

shingo kurota
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Are you ready for Marriage?

Saturday, June 17, 2023


10:50 AM
By Sarah Sultan (AlMaghrib Institute)

1. Manage your expectation.


Know your expectation about marriage.
2. Back to the basic: Know your goal for marriage.
This will manage those unrealistic expectation.
3. Example of unrealistic expectation:
- Once I got married, I will be happy.
Your happiness can't rely on your spouse.
The happiness is inside yourself.
See through the gratitude and contentment lens.
- My deen/my spouse's deen will improve.
Don't depend your deen to your spouse.
Vice versa, don’t expect your spouse will no longer struggle with the ibadah that he/she
already struggling before they got married with you.
Don't marry the potential: that person has a capability to get up and pray 5 prayers, but
he/she is struggling, is a redflag. Don't expect them to change after marrying you.
In marriage, no one change no one.
- My spouse will be my second half (the idea of: saling melengkapi)
You're a whole person, he/she is a whole person too.
If you have personal issues, that you must working on that before marriage, by yourself.
- Once I got married, I will be confident.
When we can see the good in ourselves, we're more open to giving, receiving, recognizing
love.
- My spouse should know what I need, and be able to give that to me without me saying it.
First you have to know and understand what you need, then be willing to ask for that need.
Most of the time, people give love and support in the way THEY need, rather than the way the
OTHER PERSON needs. --> Love languages.
- we should never argue. This is the chance to know other person way dealing with conflicts.
And it's indeed strenghten your relationship. Before you get married, be able to manage
conflict.
4. Unrealistic expectations can really stem from lack of self-awareness
5. 'What are the struggles; weakness; baggage that I'm bringing into marriage?' self-awareness
is the key to know are you ready to marry or not.
6. Redflag:
lack of self-awareness: what are your struggles/worries you think about marriage?
look negative to other people/blame other people.
don't want to commit.
7. Which one of the other people character are adjustable/tolerable? --> it depends on your
value. Just observe and know what the annoying part of him? Is it something that you can
adjust/tolerate? If you value your relationship with Allah the most, don't choose someone
who don't fear Allah.

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