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Self Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself Paperback – International Edition, 7 July 2011

by Kristin Neff (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 6,451 ratings
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THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION WITH A NEW FOREWORD FROM KRISTIN NEFF

'Kristin Neff offers practical, wise guidance on the path of emotional healing and deep inner transformation.' Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance

Kristin Neff PhD, is a professor in educational psychology, and the world's expert on self-compassion. A pioneer who established self-compassion as a field of study, Kristin offers a powerful solution for combating negativity and insecurity - the symptoms of living in a high-pressure world.

Through tried and tested exercises and audio downloads, readers learn the 3 core components that will help to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can become healthier, happier, and replace negative and destructive measures of self-worth and success with a kinder and non-judgemental approach.

Self-Compassion recognises that we all have weaknesses and limitations, but in accepting this we can discover new ways to achieve improved self-confidence, contentment and reach our highest potential. Simply, easily and compassionately. Kristin Neff's expert and practical advice offers a completely new set of personal development tools that will benefit everyone.

'A portable friend to all readers ... who need to learn that the Golden Rule works only if it's reversible: We must learn to treat ourselves as well as we wish to treat others.' Gloria Steinem

'A beautiful book that helps us all see the way to cure the world - one person at a time - starting with yourself. Read it and start the journey.' Rosie O'Donnell

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  1. Print length
    320 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Yellow Kite
  4. Publication date
    7 July 2011
  5. Dimensions
    14.2 x 2.3 x 22.8 cm
  6. ISBN-10
    1444738178
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1444738179
  8. See all details
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  1. From the Buddhist point of view, you have to care about yourself before you can really care about other people. If you are continually judging and criticizing yourself while trying to be kind to others, you are drawing artificial boundaries and distinctions that only lead to feelings of separation and isolation.
    Highlighted by 9,676 Kindle readers
  2. The best way to counteract self-criticism, therefore, is to understand it, have compassion for it, and then replace it with a kinder response.
    Highlighted by 9,390 Kindle readers
  3. This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.
    Highlighted by 8,926 Kindle readers
  4. By giving ourselves unconditional kindness and comfort while embracing the human experience, difficult as it is, we avoid destructive patterns of fear, negativity, and isolation.
    Highlighted by 8,620 Kindle readers
  5. This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.
    Highlighted by 3,776 Kindle readers
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Product description

Review

Neff's powerful research and her ability to explain how self-compassion affects our everyday lives makes this book a transformative read. -- Brené Brown, PhD, author of The Gifts of Imperfection

Drawing on a powerful blend of Western psychology and Eastern meditative strategies, Kristin Neff offers practical, wise guidance on the path of emotional healing and deep inner transformation. -- Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance

A beautiful book that helps us all see the way to cure the world - one person at a time - starting with yourself. Read it and start the journey. ― Rosie O'Donnell

A portable friend to all readers... who need to learn that the Golden Rule works only if it's reversible: We must learn to treat ourselves as well as we wish to treat others. ― Gloria Steinem

This book and its courageous and compassionate author will become essential reading for all of us seeking inner peace and true, lasting happiness in our lives. Savor and enjoy! ― Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., author of Mindsight

In this deeply personal, highly practical book, Kristin Neff moves the entire study of compassion forward. ― Sharon Salzberg, author of Loving kindness and Real Happiness

This is an important book. Following its advice can free readers from the chains of self-criticism and replace them with the wings of self-encouragement. ― Steven Stosny, Ph.D., author of Love Without Hurt

Brilliant! Self Compassion is a revolutionary new idea - a better idea - pioneered by the author, Kristin Neff, with profound implications for how to live our lives. ― Christopher K. Germer, Ph.D., author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion

An original and doable blueprint for improving the quality of your life. -- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow and Creativity

If you have a longing to relate to your inner life with authentic care, this book will show you how. Drawing on a powerful blend of Western psychology and Eastern meditative strategies, Kristin Neff offers practical, wise guidance on the path of emotional healing and deep inner transformation. -- Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance

Book Description

The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Yellow Kite (7 July 2011)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1444738178
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1444738179
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 14.2 x 2.3 x 22.8 cm
  • Customer reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 6,451 ratings

About the author

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Kristin Neff

Kristin Neff

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Read more at www.self-compassion.org

Kristin got her Ph.D. in 1997 at UC Berkeley, studying moral development. She is currently an Associate Professor in Human Development at the University of Texas at Austin.

During Kristin's last year of graduate school she became interested in Buddhism, and has been practicing meditation in the Insight tradition ever since. While doing her post-doctoral work she decided to conduct research on self-compassion - a central construct in Buddhist psychology and one that had not yet been examined empirically. In addition to her pioneering research into self-compassion, she has developed an 8-week program to teach self-compassion skills. The program, co-created with her colleague Chris Germer, is called Mindful Self-Compassion.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
6,451 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book enlightening and helpful. They describe it as practical, down-to-earth, and easy to understand. The narrative encourages self-compassion and kindness, making it a great read that can be read daily or taken one chapter at a time.

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InsightReadabilitySelf compassion
64 customers mention ‘Insight’64 positive0 negative

Customers find the book enlightening and helpful. They say it changed their lives, helped them through difficult times, and appreciate their lives more. The exercises in the book are useful for helping readers achieve some of the goals. Readers mention that it gets the point across and provides good reminders.

"...the time in which the book was written, but there are certainly universal truths that transcend space, time, culture, religion and gender within..." Read more

"...A truly wonderful book that may just help you to lift yourself out of a deep pit of despair, or raise your happiness to even higher levels than you..." Read more

"A very readable and enlightening book...." Read more

"...There are plenty of stories from her own life plus a few good jokes to make it an easy read, although you'll want to take time to get the most out..." Read more

41 customers mention ‘Readability’38 positive3 negative

Customers find the book relatable and easy to understand. They appreciate its practical approach and straightforward language. The book is well-written, backed by scientific research, and provides clear guidance and insights. Readers also mention the author's skill and ability to help them see what they are doing right.

"...completely around to one that is filled with much more calm, clarity, happiness and hope...." Read more

"A very readable and enlightening book...." Read more

"...of stories from her own life plus a few good jokes to make it an easy read, although you'll want to take time to get the most out of the practical..." Read more

"Nothing new, stuff I have read before. It made a pleasant read but rather skims the surface." Read more

24 customers mention ‘Self compassion’24 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful for self-compassion. It teaches them to appreciate and value themselves as worthy human beings deserving of love and compassion. The narrative guides readers into understanding that it's okay to be loving and kind to themselves. They find the book thought-provoking and uplifting, helping them have better relationships with themselves and others.

"...Self-compassion, self-appreciation, gratitude and compassion for others are truly key to sustainable happiness, wellbeing and inner peace." Read more

"...Self-compassion is a much better source of happiness and contentment than self-esteem, as the book and Dr Neff's studies show...." Read more

"...allows us to see ourselves as we really are: worthy human beings deserving of love and compassion." Read more

"...it was until I started doing the exercises and now I can be compassionate towards myself. It's wonderful...." Read more

Amazing book! Life changing!
5 out of 5 stars
Amazing book! Life changing!
I’m half way through this book and I’ve highlighted so many pieces of wisdom & learning that I’ll be returning to again & again as part of my healing journey! For me personally, the timing of this book is key - I’m working with a therapist regarding childhood trauma & doing other growth work. This book alongside that is perfect for my healing journey. I would recommend this book to anyone who is their own worst critic and is open to being kinder to themselves and accepting to be human is to be flawed. Thank you Kristen Neff.
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Top reviews from United Kingdom

  • Kindle Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Transformative and inspiring
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 29 January 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Very enlightening and inspiring book. Some of the language, words & concepts are a bit dated and are indicative of the time in which the book was written, but there are certainly universal truths that transcend space, time, culture, religion and gender within this book.

    Self-compassion, self-appreciation, gratitude and compassion for others are truly key to sustainable happiness, wellbeing and inner peace.
    Helpful
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  • David McCourt
    5.0 out of 5 stars Life-changing
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 10 January 2021
    Verified Purchase
    Came across Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion a couple of months ago while experiencing an episode of high anxiety, which later spiralled into a deep depression. Two months later and, in combination with practicing meditation and receiving counselling, Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion has turned my life experience completely around to one that is filled with much more calm, clarity, happiness and hope.

    What I have experienced through reading Self-Compassion is nothing short of profound and life-changing. I am hopeful that what I have gained from Kristin’s guidance will remain with me throughout my life and will enhance my life experience significantly in the long term.

    I never realised just how self-critical a person I was until I read this book. It’s helped me to realise how I’ve deepened, or even created, my own suffering at significant times during my life. I only wish I’d found this book sooner!

    If you have a young teenage friend or relative who is having a tough time or appears a little lost - gift them this book. I can only imagine how much easier my life would have been during those critical years, had I had the power of self-compassion to tap into. I also believe that it doesn’t matter what age you are - anyone can benefit from Kristin’s teachings.

    A truly wonderful book that may just help you to lift yourself out of a deep pit of despair, or raise your happiness to even higher levels than you’ve ever experienced before.

    Thank you for all your help Kristin.
    64 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Emo
    4.0 out of 5 stars Self compassion
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 May 2018
    Verified Purchase
    A very readable and enlightening book. The concept of self compassion and compassion for others is a particular interest of mine and combined with my meditation and church activities gives me the focus to be with my general anxiety disorder.
    This book covers these subjects and it has reinforced my beliefs
    8 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Rachel New
    5.0 out of 5 stars Transformative book backed up by scientific evidence
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 13 June 2022
    Verified Purchase
    I learnt so much from this book about how to cope with the ups and downs of life and not be overwhelmed by my emotions.

    Self-compassion is a much better source of happiness and contentment than self-esteem, as the book and Dr Neff's studies show.

    There are plenty of stories from her own life plus a few good jokes to make it an easy read, although you'll want to take time to get the most out of the practical exercises too.

    I'll be coming back to this book again and again for myself as well as in my coaching work. I am now recommending it to my clients to read.
    12 people found this helpful
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  • Tim Craik-Hyde
    5.0 out of 5 stars A life-changing perspective that everyone should read and practice
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 June 2023
    Verified Purchase
    I was drawn to this book through watching Kristin Neff’s TED talk, and was deeply impressed and moved by the power of this notion of how to relate to oneself. I was raised in a fundamentalist religion that actively taught the opposite-a message of self-denial and self-hate. However, even after leaving this religion, I’ve found that my experience of secular western culture has also encouraged a lack of self recognition, in favour of an emphasis on living up to someone else’s ideals. This refreshing take on how to relate to the self has been life-changing for me, because it actually presents a solid argument for ‘why’ and substantive detail on the ‘how’. I’m deeply grateful to Kristin for sharing this with the world and for the difference it’s already making in my life.
    12 people found this helpful
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  • Helen
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book! Life changing!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 October 2023
    Verified Purchase
    I’m half way through this book and I’ve highlighted so many pieces of wisdom & learning that I’ll be returning to again & again as part of my healing journey! For me personally, the timing of this book is key - I’m working with a therapist regarding childhood trauma & doing other growth work. This book alongside that is perfect for my healing journey. I would recommend this book to anyone who is their own worst critic and is open to being kinder to themselves and accepting to be human is to be flawed. Thank you Kristen Neff.
    Customer image
    Helen
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Amazing book! Life changing!

    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 October 2023
    I’m half way through this book and I’ve highlighted so many pieces of wisdom & learning that I’ll be returning to again & again as part of my healing journey! For me personally, the timing of this book is key - I’m working with a therapist regarding childhood trauma & doing other growth work. This book alongside that is perfect for my healing journey. I would recommend this book to anyone who is their own worst critic and is open to being kinder to themselves and accepting to be human is to be flawed. Thank you Kristen Neff.
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    11 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Stephanie
    3.0 out of 5 stars On ok read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 27 May 2018
    Verified Purchase
    Nothing new, stuff I have read before. It made a pleasant read but rather skims the surface.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Jenny
    5.0 out of 5 stars Will take you from self-hatred to self-love.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 15 December 2011
    Verified Purchase
    This is an utterly amazing book. I haven't read it all yet but I dip into it regularly when I'm feeling low or consumed with anxious thoughts about myself. It has never failed to make me feel better and to lift me out of anxiety and depression. I hesitated to buy this book but now I wish I'd bought it sooner. Kristen Neff has a rare ability to relate to anyone and any situation with love and compassion. Her exercises and examples are so relateable and there is no flowery language. I particularly recommend it to anyone who beats themselves up, has experienced a difficult childhood that is echoed in their adulthood or who engages in self-harm. This book is powerful and allows us to see ourselves as we really are: worthy human beings deserving of love and compassion.
    37 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Dee
    5.0 out of 5 stars Medical Doctor with a Wellness Practice Perspective
    Reviewed in Canada on 6 May 2024
    Verified Purchase
    “Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself” by Dr. Kristin Neff is a transformative work that speaks to the heart of wellness and personal growth.

    This book was a game changer for me personally. It helped me to be more compassionate towards myself. Since the first time I read it (many years ago), I have recommended it to so many patients, and reread it myself a couple of times, always learning more, and growing in myself.

    As a medical doctor, I find that this book aligns perfectly with the principles of holistic health, emphasizing the importance of kindness and understanding towards oneself as a foundation for healing.

    Dr. Neff’s pioneering research on self-compassion has culminated in this insightful guide, which breaks down the concept into three core components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.

    These elements work together to help individuals navigate difficult emotions and foster resilience. I frequently recommend it to my clients who are very critical of themselves.

    The book is filled with practical exercises and personal stories that illustrate how self-compassion can be a powerful tool for coping with life’s challenges. It encourages readers to let go of harsh self-criticism and embrace a more forgiving and nurturing approach to their imperfections.

    Moreover, “Self-Compassion” is not just about feeling better in the moment; it’s about making lasting changes that lead to a more fulfilled and balanced life.

    Dr. Neff’s work shows that self-compassion is linked to numerous benefits, including reduced anxiety, depression, and stress, as well as increased happiness and overall well-being.
    Report
  • Stuart Barth
    5.0 out of 5 stars This was a life changing book for me!
    Reviewed in the United States on 20 February 2023
    Verified Purchase
    This is a gem of a book and one I desperately needed to read. I am so grateful to Dr. Neff for having the courage to be as honest and vulnerable as she was in order to live and then write about her own self compassion so it could be shared with others.

    In my efforts to be the best I could be in so many areas of my life, I drove myself to attempt perfection mercilessly. A lot of that was inherited from my father and made worse by a demanding and unempathetic marriage partner.

    Just in the first being kind to myself exercise, I began to experience the freedom and power of self compassion. It enabled me to see and accept that we all share many of the same experiences, make the same mistakes and even feel the same way about ourselves, which is why we need self compassion to begin with. I was no longer an island of failure, but a normal person, making normal mistakes and having normal feelings. Having worked with an excellent therapist for the last five years, I was able to add to my work on being present and mindful in and through the reality of what is.

    The final chapter of Self Appreciation was the icing on the cake! Learning not only to accept myself when things aren't as I'd like, but to cultivate appreciating what is good and wonderful too. Truly, this is who I am - who we all are, "warts and all" as they say. I am so appreciative of this book and the life altering truth within it.

    If six stars was an option, that would be my rating. Thank you Dr. Neff!
    Report
  • Kindle Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Nice
    Reviewed in India on 22 January 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Good book.
    Report
  • Maero Jorge Ezequiel
    5.0 out of 5 stars Estupendo libro :)
    Reviewed in Spain on 22 January 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Excelente libro, la calidad de los materiales muy buena. No es de bolsillo.
    Report
  • Client d'Amazon
    5.0 out of 5 stars Parfait !
    Reviewed in France on 4 May 2023
    Verified Purchase
    Livraison rapide ! Merci
    Report