Persuasion and

negotiation skills
Icebreaker
 Pair up with the Take 5 minutes
person sitting to get to know
next to you. him/her better
Introductio
ns Introduce the The best
member to the introduction
group wins a prize
Promotions Planning a trip

Making your voice heard

Common
scenarios
 What is persuasion?

Why is persuasion important in corporate and

personal lives?

Objective Recognize powerful language techniques used for

persuasion.

s Understand assertive communication techniques to

persuade

Persuasion techniques

Negotiation techniques
 Objectives
Objectives

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

What is Why is persuasion Recognize powerful What is Understand the Understand the How to guard
persuasion? important in language manipulation? difference between manipulative yourself from being
corporate and techniques used for persuasion and techniques that manipulated.
personal lives? persuasion. manipulation. manipulators
employ.
Language as a
persuasive tool
What is the one common personality trait common among the above people?
Communicati
on styles
Passive Communication
• Fail to assert for • “I’m unable to stand up for my
themselves rights.”
• Allow others to • “I get stepped on by
infringe on their rights everyone."
• Fail to express feelings, • “I’m weak and unable to take
needs, or opinions care of myself.”
• Speak softly or • “People never consider my
apologetically feelings.”
• Poor body language
Aggressive
Communication
• try to dominate others
• use humiliation to control others
• criticize, blame, or attack others
• be very impulsive
• have low frustration tolerance
• speak in a loud, demanding, and overbearing voice
• act threateningly and rudely
• not listen well
• interrupt frequently
• use “you” statements
• have an overbearing or intimidating posture
Is aggressive
become alienated from others
alienate others

communicatio generate fear and hatred in others

always blame others instead of owning their issues, and

n effective? thus are unable to mature

Passive-aggressive communication
• mutter to themselves rather than confront the person
or issue

• have difficulty acknowledging their anger

• use facial expressions that don't match how they feel

- i.e., smiling when angry

• use sarcasm

• deny there is a problem

Passive-agressive
• appear cooperative while purposely doing things to
annoy and disrupt

• use subtle sabotage to get even

Is passive-aggressive communication effective?

• become alienated from those around them

• remain stuck in a position of powerlessness (like POWs)
• discharge resentment while real issues are never
addressed so they can't mature
What is
assertivene
ss?
Assertive Communication
state needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
express feelings clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
communicate respect for others
listen well without interrupting
feel in control of self
have good eye contact
speak in a calm and clear tone of voice
have a relaxed body posture
not allow others to abuse or manipulate them
stand up for their rights
Role-play

In office , you are working on many things simultaneously.

Your boss tells you that there is some urgent piece of work that needs to be
completed today.
If you were to work on it, along with your other priorities, it would get very
late.
The day also happens to be your spouse’s birthday and you have committed to
her that both of you would go out for a celebration.
How would you manage this situation effectively?
3 Parts to Assertive Intervention –
ESP technique

E S P

State your case Propose a Solution

Empathy
Empathy
 Listen to what the other person is saying
and acknowledge you have heard them.
E  Paraphrase what they have.

 Avoid: ‘I hear what you are saying, but…’

 Empathize: ‘I understand where you are

Empathy
coming from….’
Empathizing

Empathizing is paraphrasing
feelings or emotion

No sympathy
No judgment

Effective Empathizing = feelings + logical reasoning

State Your Case

 Before you respond, become aware of your

own feelings (anger, hostility, fear, caring,
sorrow, defensiveness) and thoughts
S (irrational thoughts, “what if’s,” imagined
consequences)

 Identify goals for being assertive in that

State your case
particular situation

 Clearly understanding your goals will help

you to ‘act’ instead of ‘react’

 State your case - ‘What I need is…”

Propose a Solution
 Say what you want to happen.
P o How you can meet your goal?
o Is it possible to negotiate a win-win
solution?

 Attempt to build on what they have said.

Propose a Solution
 Propose a solution: “I would suggest that
we…”
I have a dream…
 • the power of a person, situation, piece of
writing, or work of art to cause feelings of
sadness, especially because people feel
sympathy.
Pathos • “But one hundred years later, the Negro still is
not free. One hundred years later, the life of the
Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of
segregation and the chains of discrimination”
 • used in an argument by appealing to the
audience through the speaker’s
credibility.
• King, as a Black man living in the United
Ethos States, and working within the Civil
Rights Movement, is in an ideal position
in order to speak about what the
contemporary American experience is
like.
 “The repetition of a word or phrase at the
beginning of successive clauses”

“This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling

off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism.
Now is the time to make real the promises of
Anaphora democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark
and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit
path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our
nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to
the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to
make justice a reality for all of God’s children.”
“I have a dream..”
 • “I have a dream that my four little children will
Making it one day live in a nation where they will not be
relatable judged by the color of their skin but by the
content of their character.”
 • The use of the same consonant sounds at
the beginning of words.
Alliteration
s • King uses “trials and tribulations,” “dark
and desolate,” “sweltering summer,” and
“marvelous new militancy.”
 ADJECTIVES

Persuasiv
ANALOGY
e
language EMOTIVE LANGUAGE
technique
s EVIDENCE
 Using
strong
adjectives
 A comparison of two things to show
their similarities.

Using Sometimes the things being

analogie compared are quite similar, but other
times they could be very different.
s
An analogy explains one thing in
terms of another to highlight the
ways in which they are alike.
Examples of analogies
"They crowded very close about him,
I am to dancing what Roseanne is to
with their hands always on him in a
singing and Donald Duck to
careful, caressing grip, as though all
motivational speeches. I am as
the while feeling him to make sure he
graceful as a refrigerator falling down a
was there. It was like men handling a
flight of stairs." - Leonard Pitts, "Curse
fish which is still alive and may jump
of Rhythm Impairment" Miami Herald,
back into the water." - George Orwell,
Sep. 28, 2009.
"A Hanging."

"Withdrawal of U.S. troops will

"... worrying is as effective as trying to
become like salted peanuts to the
solve an algebra equation by chewing
American public; the more U.S. troops
bubble gum." - Baz Luhrmann,
come home, the more will be
"Everybody's Free (to Wear
demanded." - Henry Kissinger in a
Sunscreen)."
Memo to President Richard Nixon.
Examples of analogies
Finding a good man is like finding Explaining a joke is like
That's as useful as rearranging
a needle in a haystack: As Dusty dissecting a frog. You understand
deck chairs on the Titanic: It
Springfield knows, finding a small it better, but the frog dies in the
looks like you're doing something
needle in a pile of hay takes a process: E.B White's famous
helpful but really it will make no
long time, so the task at hand is analogy shows that sometimes
difference in the end.
likely to be hard and tedious. it's better not to know too much.

That movie was a roller coaster Life is like a box of chocolates -

ride of emotions: While you're you never know what you're
not flying through the air, the gonna get: An often-used analogy
twists, turns and surprises of a from Forrest Gump shows that
movie plot can leave you feeling life has many choices and
like you've been through quite an surprises, just like a box of
experience. chocolates.
 • Without evidence to support them, any
statements you make are simply opinions,
and 10 people may have 10 different
opinions, none of which is more valid than
Using evidence the others unless there is clear and potent
evidence to support it.
Using evidence
The speech that reduced an entire
school to tears
Emotive language is the deliberate choice of Ideas can be expressed in a way that is
words to elicit emotion positive, negative, welcoming or threatening

Emotive language
Examples of Emotive Language

A. Another person in the bar

The victims were executed
The men were killed. was injured by the man's
in cold blood.
glass.

B. For what seemed a

B. An innocent bystander lifetime, Mr Smith was
suffered facial injuries when A. Mr Smith was attacked by subjected to a vicious,
the thug launched his glass Mr Jones for two minutes cowardly assault by the
across the bar. unemployed, steroid-
pumped monster.
 Examples of Emotive Language

A. He is B. He is A. You are
lean. skinny. meticulous.

B. You are A. You are B. You are

nitpicking. unassuming. plain.
Additional persuasive language
techniques
ANALOGY ATTACKS BIAS EXPERT OPINION

INCLUSIVE
GENERALISATION HYPERBOLE EVIDENCE
LANGUAGE

RHETORICAL
REPETITION
QUESTION
 According to a recent survey, 67% of Australians agree.

Professor Andrew Horner once described the proposal as a ‘disgrace’.

Surely, we all agree that this is the right course of action.

Identifying The money is a drop in the bucket compared to what the government
spends on other services.
persuasive
techniques
It’s a more humane, more sensible option.

Can’t you do anything right?

The government’s decision is nothing short of disgraceful and will cause

untold trauma and anguish for those involved.

It will be the end of civilization as we know it.

 There’s a million reasons the proposal won’t work.

The decision was a kick in the guts for workers everywhere.

He was as fit as a fiddle.

Identifying The slaughter of sheep in overseas abattoirs is hideously brutal.

persuasive
It’s a problem that we can’t turn away from.

The government has been working like dogs to achieve this change.

techniques Why should I have to put up with foul-mouthed language on public transport?

Experts agree that treating drug addiction like a disease is the right thing to do.

Finding a good man is like finding a needle in a haystack

Fat people are lazy

Manipulation
•Manipulation is a tactic someone
uses in order to gain control over
another person, usually to get what
they want, and often at the other
person's expense
I would like to go to the movies tonight. Do you want to
go with me?

If you loved me, you would go to the movies with me

tonight.
Honest
Let me know if you can pick up the kids from school
tomorrow.
approach
If you don't pick up the kids, you clearly don't care
vs
about them. manipulati
I want to talk to you about something when you have
time.
on
I would talk to you about something, but I know you
don't have time for me anyway.
Idealization-
Devaluation-
Discard
Phase
Gaslightin
g
 Signs of gaslighting

You doubt your You question your You feel

You feel alone and
feelings and judgment and vulnerable and
powerless
reality: perceptions insecure

You are
You wonder if you You worry that
disappointed in
are what they say You feel confused you are too
yourself and who
you are sensitive
you have become
 Signs of gaslighting

You have a sense of You spend a lot of You second-guess

You feel inadequate
impending doom time apologizing yourself

You struggle to
You assume others
You wonder what's make
are disappointed in
wrong with you decisions because
you
you distrust yourself
Signs you are
being
gaslighted
Smear
campaigns
Triangulatio
n
 Negotiation?
1. What is negotiation?
Negotiation is an interaction and process between entities who aspire
to agree on matters of mutual interest while optimizing their
individual outcomes.

2. Who benefits from the negotiation?

The outcome can be beneficial for all or some of the parties involved.
Questions

Why should you ask the store for a bigger discount than you think you
have a chance of getting?

If you’re applying for a job, why should you ask for more money and
benefits than you think they’ll give you?

If you’re dissatisfied with a meal in a restaurant, why should you ask to

cancel the entire bill, even though you think they will take off only the
charge for the offending item?
“Effectiveness at the negotiation
table depends upon overstating
one’s demands”

Henry Kissinger – 56th US Secretary of State

Ask for More Than You Expect to
Get

01 02 03 04
It gives you room If you are selling, If you are buying, Adopt the
to negotiate you can always you can always go Maximum
come down in up in price but not Plausible Position
price but not vice- vice-versa (MPP)
versa
I’m not bragging, I’m not bluffing,
and I’m not bullying. There are
three things this man has to do.

He has to get out of Kuwait.

He has to restore the legitimate
government of Kuwait (don’t do
what the Soviets did in Afghanistan
and install a puppet government),
and he has to make reparations for
the damage that he’s done.”
Food for thought
In terms of negotiation strategies, what do you think
of George Bush’s statement?
 You might just get it.

It gives you some negotiating room.

It raises the perceived value of what

Recap you’re offering.
It prevents the negotiation from
deadlocking.
It creates a climate in which the other
side feels that they won.
 • How much more than you expect to get should you ask?

• The car dealer is asking Rs. 15,0000 for the car. You want to
buy it for Rs. 13,000. What should be your initial offer?

Bracketing • One of your employees is asking if she can spend $400 on a

new desk. You think that $325 is reasonable. What should
be your initial offer?
Bracketing – additional notes
Flinch at
proposals
 Situations

You sell computers and the

buyer asks you to include an You sell contractor supplies, You’re selling your house and
extended warranty. You’re and the buyer asks you to the buyer wants to move in
buying a car and the dealer deliver it to the job site at no two weeks before the
offers you only a few hundred extra charge. transaction closes.
dollars for your trade-in.
 Points to remember

Flinch in reaction to a proposal from the other side. They may not expect to get what they are
asking for; however, if you do not show surprise, you’re communicating that it is a possibility.

A concession often follows a flinch. If you don’t flinch, it makes the other person a tougher
negotiator.

Even if you’re not face-to-face with the other person, you should still gasp in shock and
surprise. Telephone flinches can be very effective also.
 1. Don’t argue with people in the early
stages of the negotiation because it
creates confrontation.

Avoid
confrontation 2. Use the Feel, Felt, Found formula to
al turn the hostility around.

negotiation
3. Having Feel, Felt, Found in the back
of your mind gives you time to think
when the other side throws some
unexpected hostility your way
Middle negotiation gambits

Handling the
Person Who Has
No Authority to
Decide
Never offer to
split the
difference
Key points: Never split the
difference: Key points
1. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that splitting the difference
is the fair thing to do.
2. Splitting the difference doesn’t mean down the middle,
because you can do it more than once.
3. Never offer to split the difference yourself, but encourage the
other person to offer to split the difference.
4. By getting the other side to offer to split the difference, you
put them in a position of suggesting the compromise.
5. Then you can reluctantly agree to their proposal, making them feel
that they won.
 Impasse
You are in complete disagreement on
one issue, and it threatens the
negotiations.
Impasse: Key points
• 1. Don’t confuse an impasse with a deadlock. True deadlocks are very
rare, so you’ve probably reached only an impasse.

• 2. Handle an impasse with the Set-Aside Gambit: “Let’s just set that
aside for a moment and talk about some of the other issues, may
we?”

• 3. Create momentum by resolving minor issues first, but don’t narrow

the negotiation down to only one issue.
Stalemate

Both sides are still talking but

seem unable to make any progress
toward a solution.
How to resolve stalemate
Change Change the venue by suggesting that you continue the discussion over lunch or dinner.

Remove Remove a member who may have irritated the other side.

Explore Explore the possibility of a change in finances, such as extended credit, a reduced deposit with the order, or restructure

Suggest Suggest a change in specifications, packaging, or delivery method to see if this shift will make the people think more positively.

Try Try suggesting that one year from now, you’ll take back any unused inventory that is in good condition for a 20-percent restocking
fee.
Deadlock
 Bring in a third part to act as a mediator or an arbitrator.

How to Don’t see having to bring in a third person as a failure on

your part.

resolve The third party is seen as neutral by both sides.

deadloc If he or she is not neutral, he or she should position him-or

ks
herself as such by making a small concession to the other
side early in the negotiation.

Keep an open mind about the possibility of a deadlock.

What is
persuasion?
Persuasion is convincing
others to :
• change their point of view
• agree to a commitment
• purchase a product or service
• or take a course of action