Meaning of Compassion and Self-Compassion-
The term "compassion" comes from the Latin word "compati" which means "to". to suffer"
(Strauss et al., 2016). Compassion is an integral part of Buddhist psychology, not only in dealing
with suffering, but also involves a deep commitment to alleviating that suffering (Lama, 1995,
Neff, 2003).According to Gilbert (2010), compassion can be understood as a result of our
biological abilities, including sensitivity, empathy, motivation/caring, stress tolerance, and non-
judgment. The first (ie, sensitivity) refers to the ability to respond to the feelings of others and
the ability to perceive that others need care. "Compassion" is defined as concern for the suffering
of another, and "empathy" refers to the ability to put oneself in another's shoes. "Motivation" is
needed to act or respond to the suffering of others. Finally, resilience and non-judgment are
important because they emphasize that compassion is helping others without over-identifying
with their suffering (which requires resilience) and without judging them because we can feel
compassion for someone we don't like. Compassion can be directed not only to our loved ones,
but also to strangers and ultimately all people. Self-compassion is understood as transferring
these attitudes to others, to oneself, which is very difficult for many people (Jazaieri et al., 2013).
Self-compassion means not judging ourselves (on a cognitive level) and being able to feel and
relate to our own suffering (on an emotional level). For Germer (2011), self-compassion means
caring for ourselves as we would for a loved one. From a Buddhist perspective, Neff (2003)
conceptualized self-compassion as having three main components: kindness, common humanity,
and mindfulness. Neff proposed the expression "common humanity", meaning that all people
share the experience of suffering. As Lama notes, all humanity is united by the desire to be free
from suffering (Lama, 1984, Lama, 2002). The concept of "common humanity" is similar to the
concept of interconnectedness (Pommier, 2010), which emphasizes that individuality and
separateness are false beliefs (Salzberg, 1995, Wayment and O'Mara, 2008). For some authors,
this sense of connectedness often encourages compassion and compassionate behavior (Salzberg,
1997, Wayment and O'Mara, 2008). In contrast, the lack of common humanity would lead to
isolation of some and denial of the suffering of others. As a result, a barrier is created between
"us" and "them" (Neff, 2012): when we identify ourselves as part of one group (us), there is an
implicit separation from others (them). Finally, the third component of self-compassion is
mindfulness. According to Neff, mindfulness in relation to self-compassion is close to
decentering (Fresco et al., 2007, Soler et al., 2014), because mindfulness refers to the ability to
feel painful feelings and thoughts without over-identifying with them. (Neff, 2012).Interestingly,
there is a debate about whether compassion and self-compassion should be considered separate
constructs (Strauss et al., 2016). From a Buddhist perspective, this distinction between others and
self is false, but research has shown that the correlation between the two constructs (compassion
and self-compassion) is quite weak (Neff and Pommier, 2013, Pommier, 2010). .Strauss and
colleagues (Strauss et al., 2016) hypothesize that the lack of association may be due to the
definition of these constructs, limitations of current measures, or both.In a recent review of the
compassion construct , Strauss et al. (2016) proposed an operational definition of compassion
and self-compassion, taking into account a wide range of definitions from Buddhist and Western
psychological perspectives. They defined compassion as "a cognitive, affective, and behavioral
process consisting of the following five elements that relate to both self-compassion and
compassion for others: 1) recognition of suffering; 2) understanding of the universality of
suffering in the human experience. 3) feeling empathy for the suffering person and distress
creating a connection (emotional resonance) 4) tolerating unpleasant feelings for the sufferer
(e.g. anxiety, anger, fear), thus remaining open and accepting of the suffering person 5) Actions
to relieve suffering." (Strauss et al., 2016, p. 19).
Self-Compassion Scale - The SCS (Neff, 2003a) is the most widely used method for studying
self-compassion and has been translated into at least 22 different languages (TóthKirály and
Neff, 2021). It is a 26-item self-report measure designed to measure self-compassion.(Neff,
2003b). Although self-compassion is a state of mind, the SCS measures the level of the trait of
responding compassionately to personal inadequacy and failure or to general life problems.
Examples: self-kindness ("I try to be loving myself when I feel emotional pain"), self-esteem ("I
feel resentful and judgmental about my own shortcomings and inadequacies"), humanity ("When
I feel bad" . , I see difficulties as a part of life that everyone goes through"), isolation ("When
I think about my inadequacy, I feel more isolated and disconnected from the rest of the world"),
feel mindfulness ("When I me weak, I try to approach my feelings with curiosity
on-openness") and overidentification ("When something bothers me, I fall in love with my
feelings." ) Answers are given on a scale from 1 (almost never) to 5 (almost always) because
compassion is a two-way continuum concept ranging from UCS (self-condemnation,\isolation
and overidentification) to CS (kindness, humanity and awareness), the subscale items of UCS are
reverse coded so that higher scores indicate relative lack of negative resistance. Various forms of
the SCS are available, including a 12-item short form (Raes et al. 2011), which is primarily
reliable for measuring general levels of self-compassion, and a 17-item young version designed
for high school students. . populations able to assess a total score or six subscale scores (Neff et
al. 2021a). We also created the State Self-Compassion Scale (S-SCS; Neff et al. 2021b), which
measures self-reaction in the present moment. The S-SCS has an 18-item form that assesses six
components of state self-compassion and a six-item short form that assesses general state self-
compassion.
Details of the Subscales-
Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment -Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding
toward ourselves when we suffer, fail or feel inadequate, rather than punishing ourselves with
self-criticism (Neff, 2003a). We cannot always achieve exactly what we want. When this reality
is denied or fought against suffering increases in the form of stress, frustration, and self-
criticism.
Self-compassionate individuals are those who recognize that imperfection and failure are
inevitable, and thus tend to be more gentle with themselves when confronted with distressing or
unpleasant experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of self-imposed ideals
(Neff, 2015).
Common Humanity vs. Isolation- A self-compassionate individual recognizes that challenges
and personal failures are something we all share. They are part of the human experience. In this
way, self-compassion helps us understand that suffering is something we all go through and thus
helps negate feelings of isolation (Neff, 2003a).
Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification- Self-compassion is intimately tied to the practice of
mindfulness; that is paying attention to the present moment with complete acceptance of
thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at
the same time (Bishop, Lau, Shapiro, Carlson, Anderson, Carmody, 2004). Through self-
compassion, negative emotions are accepted rather than suppressed, denied or exaggerated.
Research on self - Compassion :
Self compassion and Mental Wellbeing - In a study conducted by Neff & Beretvas (2013), it
was found that individuals with higher levels of self-compassion were perceived by their partners
as more emotionally connected, accepting, and autonomy-supporting, while displaying less
detachment, control, and aggression compared to those with lower self-compassion. Partners of
self-compassionate individuals also reported higher relationship satisfaction. Self-compassionate
individuals are able to provide care and support to themselves, which in turn allows them to have
more emotional resources to offer their partners. Research has shown that self-compassionate
college students tend to have more compassionate goals in relationships, providing social support
and fostering trust with their partners (Crocker & Canevello, 2008). Additionally, self-
compassionate individuals are more likely to compromise in conflict situations, while those
lacking self-compassion tend to prioritize the needs of others over their own. This is consistent
with the idea that individuals with high self-compassion are kind to themselves as well as others,
whereas those with low self-compassion are kinder to others than to themselves (Neff, 2003a).
Self-compassionate people also feel more authentic, experience less turmoil during conflict
resolution, and report greater well-being in their relationships. Furthermore, self-compassion is
linked to the tendency to apologize and mend past relationship issues, promoting harmony within
relationships (Breines & Chen, 2012; Howell, Dopko, Turowski, & Buro, 2011). An intriguing
question arises regarding whether self-compassionate individuals are more compassionate
towards others than those lacking self-compassion, with some evidence suggesting that self-
compassion activates certain parts of the brain.
Self compassion and Emotional intelligence – Self-compassion and emotional intelligence are
interconnected aspects of psychological well-being (Neff, 2003; Salovey & Mayer, 1990).
Research suggests that individuals with higher levels of emotional intelligence tend to exhibit
greater self-compassion (Mikolajczak et al., 2007). The ability to understand and manage one's
emotions, a key component of emotional intelligence, contributes to the cultivation of self-
compassion—treating oneself with kindness and understanding in the face of difficulties (Neff,
2003). The concept of emotional intelligence is of unparalleled interest in both popular literature
and within academia. In an exploratory study, the reliability and construct and predictive validity
of three scales were investigated. An EQ scale based on 16 relevant competencies showed highly
promising reliability and validity. The results also showed the relevance of two other
competency‐based scales – intellectual intelligence (IQ) and managerial intelligence (MQ) –
which both predicted organizational advancement. Taken together, however, the three scales had
even higher validity. The overall results supported the view that EQ constructs can be measured
more effectively by “performance analysis” than “classic paper and pencil tests”. In addition they
provide support for the proposition that the combination of EQ and IQ is a more powerful
predictor of “success” than either measure alone.
Sex Differences in Self-Compassion : In a research done by Yarnell, L. M., Neff, K. D.,
Davidson, O. A., & Mullarkey, M. (2019) it was found that males exhibited slightly higher levels
of self-compassion compared to females, showing a small effect size. Moreover, it was noted
that the gender gap in self-compassion was more pronounced in populations with a higher
proportion of ethnic minorities.The research implies that societal expectations based on gender
may impede the cultivation of self-compassion in both men and women. It stresses the
significance of acknowledging these gender variances in forthcoming research and interventions
targeting self-compassion. In a separate investigation, the researchers delved into the influence of
gender role orientation on self-compassion. They discovered that individuals who identified as
male exhibited notably higher levels of self-compassion than those who identified as female.
However, they also found that the impact of self-identified gender on self-compassion was
overshadowed by the influence of masculine gender role orientation. This indicates that
socialization significantly shapes self-compassion, and individuals embodying both feminine and
masculine traits tend to possess the highest levels of self-compassion. Another study within the
meta-analysis explored the intricate connections between self-compassion, body esteem, body
comparison, and self-esteem among college students. The outcomes revealed that self-esteem
played a pivotal role in the associations between self-compassion and body attitudes. Upon
adjusting for self-esteem, gender and age were identified as factors contributing to the variations
in self-compassion and body attitudes.
Self-Compassion construct as a contribution to the growing movement positive psychology
- The positive psychology movement emphasizes the importance of considering well-being in
terms of human strengths and potentials, not just the absence of psychopathology. Self-
compassion, which embodies qualities like kindness, equanimity, and interconnectedness, plays a
crucial role in helping individuals find hope and meaning amidst life's challenges. This study
explores the relationship between self-compassion and various positive aspects of well-being,
such as happiness, optimism, positive affect, wisdom, personal initiative, and curiosity. Experts
in positive psychology and self-compassion, including Kate Heffron and Kristin Neff, have
demonstrated that self-compassion is linked to increased life satisfaction, emotional intelligence,
optimism, curiosity, and initiative, while reducing overthinking, perfectionism, and fear of
failure. Despite being relatively new in Western psychology, self-compassion is a fundamental
concept in Buddhist philosophy, one of the world's oldest wisdom traditions. Mindfulness,
another Buddhist concept gaining popularity in the West, involves non-judgmental awareness of
mental and emotional phenomena as they arise. The success of mindfulness-based therapeutic
techniques may be attributed to their explicit focus on self-compassion. Compassionate Mind
Training, a therapeutic approach developed by Gilbert and Proctor, shows promise in treating
individuals prone to self-criticism. Enhancing self-compassion may be more achievable than
boosting self-esteem.
References
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Neff, & Costigan. (n.d.). Self-Compassion, Wellbeing, and Happiness. Psychologie in
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Intervention. Annual Review of Psychology (Print). https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-
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Salovey, P., & Mayer, J. D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, Cognition and
Personality, 9(3), 185-211.
Yarnell, L. M., Neff, K. D., Davidson, O. A., & Mullarkey, M. (2019).Gender differences in
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