Cocktail Book

This is a

Written & Illustrated by

Branden von Fugate
 For Kevin
Save me a seat.
 He was incredibly simple, but in the same way that a sword is simple, or an ambush is simple.
–Terry Pratchett, Theatre of Cruelty

Cock tail, then, is a stimulating liquor, composed of spirits of any kind, sugar, water, and bitters...
–The Balance, and Columbian Repository
May 13, 1806

ff . . . . . . . 6
s & S t u 1 0
i n g . . . . . . . . .
I. Th . . . . . . . . . . . .
a b i n e t
i q u o r C 2
II. L c e . . . . . . 1
I I I . I 4
. . . . . . . . . 1
n i q u e . 1
T e c h . . . . . . . 2
IV. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . 3 2
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
i s t o r y . . . . . . . . . . .
V. H . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .
.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 7
Th e o r y c h o o l . . . . . 3 9
VI. P r e p S . . . . . . . . . .
VII . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .
T r i c k s . . . . 4 2
C h e a p . . . . . . . . . .
VIII. e c i p e s. . . . 6 1
. Th e R . . . . . . . . . .
I X . . . . . . . . .
P u n c h
r g e n c y 2
Eme p i l o g u e . . 6
E
Copyright © 2024 Branden von Fugate

All rights reserved

No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the author

No portion of this book was created with the assistance of Generative AI

Printed in the United Kingdom with solar energy on FSC-certified paper

ISBN: 979-8-9918964-0-5

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024923006

Published in San Diego, California

B L E U
California · New York
BleuBooks.com
 Preface

Cocktails are stupid. Making them involves taking bottles of spirit—themselves the products of hundreds of years
of tradition, innovation, care, and complexity—and mixing them together. Maybe we’ll add some juice. It should
be sacrilege.

But distilling was not always the art form that it is today. Early spirits were rough, inconsistent, sometimes
dangerous. A common method for restarting a stuck rum fermentation was to add a dead goat. Cocktails began
out of self-defense. Many early medicines were also alcohol based (or, ya know, just alcohol), and you know what
they say about a spoonful of sugar.

Almost as soon as humans started making spirits, we started making punch to make them palatable. Cocktails were
not the corruption, but the cure. Unless you’re in prison (in which case, there’s a purely educational Pruno recipe
in Chapter IX), you probably no longer need them to save you from the foul stench of demon rum. That said,
cocktails and spirits grew up together, and far be it from me to try and break them up now. They’re embedded in
the fabric of civilization, which­as the saying goes—and I agree­—began with fermentation.

I’ve also built my career on them, so there’s that.

The first cocktail book I wrote—in many ways, the first draft of this book—was created as a gift for participants of
the small cocktail classes I started hosting during the pandemic; to give me something to do, and to get a little use
out of the beautiful bar (Tender Mercy in Dayton, Ohio) that we had opened exactly three days prior to lockdown.
I ended the class with suggestions for bar tool purchases and for future reading, realizing full well that nearly
every book on the list was far beyond the scope or interest of nearly everyone in the room. Quality cocktail books
published in, say, the last 20 years or so, have been geared almost exclusively to the very professional bartender.1
More recently still, there appears to be an arms race underway regarding who can produce the most cost-prohibitive
(including not only the purchase price of the book, but also of the equipment needed to make a significant portion
of recipes therein) jargon-filled, esoteric, professionally-photographed coffee table book that can double as a coffee
table. Don’t get me wrong, I buy them (I pre-order them). I cherish them. But I’m the bullseye of their target
audience. Things were not always so.

We used to make books for the home bartender. And they were good.2

Hell, they weren’t just for home bartenders, they were by home bartenders. David A. Embury, pioneering author of
The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks (1948), whose name you’ll see a lot in the coming pages, was a tax attorney. By his
own admission, a person who had “never been engaged in any of the manifold branches of the liquor business...”

He continues:

[m]y practical experience with liquors has been entirely as a consumer and as a shaker-upper of drinks for the delectation of
my guests. This book is, therefore, purely and distinctly a book written by an amateur for amateurs.

What follows then, is one of the finest theoretical works on cocktails ever produced. Early visionaries of the modern
cocktail renaissance, such as Dick Bradsell and Audrey Saunders, list the book as a major influence.

The pandering drivel that passes for “beginner-friendly” cocktail guides today is proof that publishers have
abandoned the sector. And who can blame them? The slow but steady renaissance of the celebrity bartender,
beginning in earnest in the early aughts, coincided perfectly with the slow but steady demise of home entertaining
as an art form. We can thank the pandemic for the final blow, but it was already well underway. Look at the pictures
your parents took of house parties in the 70s. Yes, there’s a cheese ball. But unless they were Mennonites, there’s also
a cocktail—or a bowl of punch, or a well-stocked liquor cabinet. Also, cheese balls are sublime (I’m from Ohio).
...

My first “book” was printed on plain copy paper and folded in half, with a single staple in the center. We got fancy
and used card stock for a minute, until I started booking larger classes and it got too expensive. A few times we
forgot how exactly to print the booklet file and just handed them unfolded full sheets stapled in the corner. Again,
this was basically a party favor, and the expectations were mercifully low. The point is, I wanted my “graduates”
to have a reference; something that didn’t pander but also didn’t talk over their heads. The latter would just gather
dust; the former would lead them in circles, then gather dust. I called it The People’s Cocktail Book, and I goddamn
meant it. Making cocktails is not difficult. If you can read the previous sentence—and I encourage
you to read it again—you can read a cocktail recipe.

You can, and should, make cocktails at home.

Portions of that first book appear here, almost completely untouched. If you have an original copy, burn it, then
buy this one. There are more illustrations and I actually make money on it. Better yet, keep it to sell a few years
from now. If you’re reading this, it means I’m famous, or just about to become famous.

You lucky dog.

1 Death & Co: Welcome Home (2021) is, at least nominally, an exception to this rule—but not really. That said, the chapter “Making Cocktails at Home” (which you can find, tellingly, at the end of the
book) is genuinely some of the best cocktail writing I’ve ever encountered. The twelve-bottle bar, the fifty cocktails you can create with it, and the graphical aids incorporated therein, are truly inspired. Even if the
rest of the book is conspicuously beyond the scope of 99 percent of home bartenders, it’s worth having for that bit alone. I say all of this with great respect and admiration for those folks. I think they’ve been so
good for so long, they simply forgot what it was like to start from scratch.
2 For an example of this, see Playboy’s Host & Bar Book (1971) by Thomas Mario. Some of the cocktail recipes are admittedly shit, but that’s mostly my personal tastes talking (also, cocktail books at
the time printed recipes more as known artifacts, rather than concoctions that had the author’s personal stamp of approval e.g., David Embury spending a good portion of his book—which we’ll encounter
shortly—disparaging many of the cocktails in his recipe section). Point is, the care and knowledge and respect for the reader Mario maintains are apparent. He strongly advocates the use of fresh juice long before
that was de rigueur (at least by post-Prohibition standards, we usually credit Dick Bradsell and/or Dale DeGroff with reintroducing that benchmark in the mid-1980s). It includes clear and compelling advice on
entertaining (including a very serviceable recipe for shrimp beignets). The cover is also really cool and the photography superb (damn, I should have thought of that). This is one example of many.

4
 Introduction
(they’re different)

These notes will assist greatly in your enjoyment and understanding of the masterpiece that awaits you.

I’m going to repeat most of this again in the main text, but I want to set some expectations now
in case you skip around.

Recipes are in metric. This is unusual for a cocktail book made by an American bartender, but it’s a hill on which
I’m prepared to, if not die, at least suffer the mild discomfort of your obligatory whinging. Go cry yourself hoarse.
Come back when you’re ready to be a citizen of the civilized world, not the part that can’t seem to differentiate
between mass and volume or insists on measuring distances by the length of an old king’s tootsie. If an item e.g.,
packaged ingredient, glassware, ice cube, etc. is manufactured using imperial (i.e, not metric) measurements, I’ll
usually stick to that, but I’ll be grumpy about it.

Remember 1 oz = 30 ml and you'll be fine.

Don’t use expensive spirits in cocktails. At time of writing around $20–$30 USD should be more than sufficient
for most all bottles. The subtle nuances that you’re paying for in, say, a pricey single malt or an artisan gin is going
to be mostly lost in 90 percent of cocktails, especially those containing citrus juice or strongly flavored liqueurs.
The only exception to this rule is if you receive a bottle of overpriced celebrity tequila as a holiday gift. Feel free to
make margaritas, do body shots, re-gift, flush it. Sipping slowly will only reveal what a sucker your friend is. You
may eventually want to invest in a few pricier liqueurs, but as these will be used in very small amounts in most
cocktails, they’ll last a good long while.

Juice your own lemons and limes. A simple wooden reamer is usually what I use at home. If I’m making cocktails
for a crowd, I’ll break out the Ra Chaud (see Chapter I), but any method is better than those plastic bottles shaped
like lemons and limes sitting in the produce section of most chain grocery stores. Even the fancy organic shit in
glass bottles over in the juice aisle is almost guaranteed to be pasteurized (i.e., useless). If you’re holding this book,
you’re better than that.1 Leftover juice can be stored in the refrigerator for about two days before it starts to lose
vibrancy, but no one is going to die if you make a Tom Collins with three-day-old lemon juice.2 Should you juice
oranges and grapefruits? Eh, your call. The higher-quality bottled stuff is perfectly fine in most cases (I’ll specify
when it isn’t). Bottled apple juice and canned pineapple juice are considerably more consistent than fresh, so that’s
what I reach for in most cases (I’ll specify when I don’t).

Make your own simple syrup. It’s equal parts sugar and water. What’s a part? What isn’t a part? Use a measuring
cup, use a shoe, use your mouth. If you want to get real fancy, weigh it (preferred). Add heat and/or agitation to
dissolve sugar. Done. We’ll discuss more details in Chapter VII, but don’t overthink it, and don’t fucking buy it.

1 egg white = 15-20 ml. Use fresh eggs, duh. If you’re vegan, or just a coward, use an equal or slightly lesser amount
of aquafaba (chickpea liquid), or a few dashes of any number of commercially available cocktail foaming agents.
You won’t be able to achieve an identical foam or mouthfeel (and bean juice can taste like, well, beans), but it’s
something. Salmonella poisoning from commercially produced eggs is exceedingly rare these days, but if you’ve
really got something to live for (a dog, for instance), pasteurized eggs and egg whites are available, just not as good.
I’m sticking to the raw stuff.3 My dog has a godmother.

This book is not exhaustive. I have not set out to record all known knowledge about cocktails. There are intentional
informational gaps in sections that professional bartenders may find heretical. This is because we’re used to holding
forth, at length and unabridged, whenever some unfortunate soul makes the mistake of asking us about Chartreuse.
Two things 1) Stop doing that. 2) This book is not for you. 3) Okay, three things, parts of it are for you. Please
buy it and read it.

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi. By the time you pick up this book, some of the things I say may be outdated or out
of fashion. Who cares? They’re cocktails. I’ve made every attempt to keep the information as time-tested and
durable as possible, but who knows what the future holds? It is my genuine hope that the profession of bartending
continues to grow and experiment and learn and make some of what we know now obsolete. That said, most of this
information, I trust, will be timeless. As for the rest, just wait a few years for it to come back into style.

If you see a cocktail name in bold, you can find a recipe for it in the back of the book.
Ditto prepared ingredients in italics.

1 Though, as you will see, I am a big fan of powdered acids, so perhaps my indignation is a teensy bit overwrought. Whatever, leave a man his animus, won’t you?
2 I’m not a doctor. I literally sell poison for a living.
3 See previous.

5
 Chapter I

Things & Stuff

Basic Bar Tools

fig. 5
fig. 4 fig. 6
fig. 1 fig. 2 fig. 3

fig. 8
fig. 10
fig. 12

fig. 7 fig. 9
fig. 11

Boston shaker: (fig. 1) Two-part cocktail shaker preferred by most Western bartenders. These days, both sides are often stainless steel (also called tin-on-tin or just tins) but you can still find examples that utilize a
pint glass (don’t though, glass breaks). 532/830 ml (18/28 oz) is a good small/large split. Koriko is a quality brand.

Cobbler shaker: (fig. 2) Three-part shaker generally preferred by Japanese bartenders, and not uncommon in Europe. If you see an American holding one, they’re probably also wearing a bow tie or some shit. It
does have advantages: more compact, built-in strainer, not going to split apart. The lid is a devil to get off if you haven’t had much practice (Boston shakers aren’t exactly a cinch either though), and easy to misplace.
Full disclosure: I regularly use one of these at home. I also sleep in a bow tie (and nothing else).

Mixing glass: (fig. 3) At the tippy-top of nonessential essentials, the mixing glass is a very pretty vessel in which to stir a drink. Bartenders love to talk about how the “low thermal conductivity” of the glass walls
prevents the heat of your hand from over-diluting your drink yadda yadda yadda. While this is technically true (kinda), if you’re holding your mixing vessel correctly—at the bottom, with as little skin contact as
possible—and you start with quality, cold ice, the difference is seriously negligible. In fact, that thermal mass can backfire if the glass is not properly chilled, but that’s a lesson for a much longer cocktail guide. Suffice
it to say, you can make stirred drinks just as well, if not better, in one half of a metal shaking tin. But they’re damn pretty and what are we doing here if not putting on a show (even for ourselves).

Jigger: (fig. 4) A necessity for consistent cocktails. I prefer a graduated/stepped jigger as opposed to the two-sided version, but to each their own. American bartenders (usually) write recipes in fluid ounces while
the rest of the world more sensibly uses milliliters and centiliters. A good jigger will have markings for both (and maybe tablespoons to boot).

Barspoon: (fig. 5) The Swiss Army Knife of the bar world. A quality barspoon can be used to stir (duh) but also to measure, to muddle, to layer liquids on top of one another, to pour in soda water without disturbing
an egg white foam (Ramos Gin Fizz) and to crack and shape ice. The cheap ones you find at restaurant supply stores—you know the ones, confusingly short with a red plastic tip—are worthless. Provided you avoid
these, you will be fine. Tips range from flat disks for muddling, to tridents for spearing cocktail olives, to decorative skulls and pineapples. The late Gaz Regan made one shaped like his finger. Lengths range from
about 30 cm (my personal preference, and as short as you want to go really) to the truly overcompensating. As for me, I am partial to a simple smooth-sided number (the twisted ones chafe my apparently delicate
digits) with a weighted tip that is perfect for cracking ice. Again, to each their own.

Muddler: (fig. 6) Not technically essential since a wooden spoon (or just shaking really hard) will work in a pinch but certainly nice to have around. Be wary of cheap examples that appear to be more for show than
for use. Of particular concern are those that have a cheap veneer or wood stain that will likely chip off and end up in your drink. Even if (and that’s a big if ) the stain is non-toxic, it’s still gross. With this in mind
I have been a years-long devotee to the Bad Ass Muddler by Cocktail Kingdom (not sponsored but would like to be). Made from a single chunk of super durable food-grade plastic, it’s dishwasher safe and virtually
indestructible. I use it for muddling, for crushing nuts and whole spices (in one half of a shaking tin like a poor man’s mortar and pestle) and, if need ever arises, for self-defense behind the bar. Also, grow up. I know
what you’re thinking. Report back, I guess.

Hawthorne strainer: (fig. 7) The only strainer you actually need. A good example will be heavy for its size with a tight coil (in the past, before quality bar tools were readily available, some of us would double-up the
coils). Occasionally, you’ll see a bartender remove a coil to drop into their shaker when making an egg white cocktail—an improvised whisk, if you will—but I assure you, this is a tedious and unnecessary affectation.

Julep strainer: (fig. 8) So called because it was originally placed atop a julep glass to keep ice away from one’s teeth—a use made redundant by the invention of the straw. Like the mixing glass, this is just a needlessly
nostalgic way of straining a drink. Incidentally, it is often used in conjunction with the mixing glass. A hawthorne strainer would work just as well, if not better, though some unusual shapes of mixing glass will not
accept a hawthorne. You will find both mixing glasses and julep strainers being used at my bar to make every stirred cocktail. Why? Because they're handsome. If you’re gonna be precious, do it on purpose. These
are cheap. Also, this is my preferred strainer for throwing a cocktail (see Chapter IV).

Fine strainer: (fig. 9) Not strictly essential, but it will make a marked difference in your cocktail’s clarity and consistency. If you’re wondering why your drinks don’t turn out as silky smooth on the palate or as
photogenic as your bartender’s, it might be as simple as fine straining. Originally created for steeping and straining tea, they were co-opted by the bartending world in the early aughts. Cocktail-specific versions,
which are more conical to direct the flow of liquid, are now easy to find, though tea strainers work almost as well. The purpose of fine/double straining is to remove all the bits of pulverized ice and, when applicable,
muddled herbs and fruits that aren’t completely captured by a hawthorne strainer. Some people like ice chips, and for them I will happily oblige, but as standard practice I fine strain all my shaken cocktails that will
be served up (i.e., in a cocktail glass without ice), or on a single big ice cube; ice chips are a negligible concern when pouring over regular cube ice. I also fine strain all egg white cocktails, regardless of glassware or
ice as it pops most of the big bubbles in the meringue (an expressed and discarded citrus twist takes care of the rest), giving me a beautiful flat canvas for bitters designs, floated garnish, or just to admire.

Citrus reamer: (fig. 10) I like a simple wooden one, especially if I’m doing a lot of citrus at once. Metal ones lead to faster hand fatigue for me, but if everything in your apartment needs to be dishwasher safe, I
won’t try to reason with you. That said, the iconic freestanding (metal) number by Alessi is literally a piece of art.

Wine key: (fig. 11) Get one of these. Doesn’t have to be expensive. Just be sure it has a double hinge and a decent blade for cutting foil. Yes, wine goes into cocktails. Yes, these take a little training and practice, but
that’s what this book is for (look at the drawings!). Toss that piece of shit with the two weird arms that you never really learned to use anyway. Don’t be hard on yourself. It wasn’t made to open wine. It was made to
make you look foolish. Oh, you have an electric wine opener? Okay, be hard on yourself.

Branden: (fig. 12) Get it? I’m a basic tool. Lolz. Please be my friend.

6
 Glassware
Presented in order of importance

Rocks glass: (fig. 1) Also referred to as an old fashioned glass or a tumbler. If you only have one glass, this should be it. Great for neat pours, rocks pours, and cocktails. The bar world is going through an ultra-thin
borosilicate phase at the moment, but something heavy and patterned is certainly more timeless. Stick to the 10-12 oz range, something that can comfortably fit a 2’’ ice cube and feel good in your hands. The
Waterford Marquis Maxwell tumblers are a fine example.

Coupe: (fig. 2) Originally created for Champagne, these have been co-opted­—too successfully, if you ask me—by craft cocktails. To be fair, they weren’t doing Champagne any favors; all that surface area is murder
on bubbles. Now basically every cocktail served up comes in a coupe. Whatever. Stick to 6-8 oz, if you must have one. Cocktail Kingdom makes a decent model.

Nick & Nora: (fig. 3) These I love. Elegant and understated. Perfect for a Martini, a Manhattan, or anything that begins its life at or under 90 ml of ingredients (Corpse Reviver No. 2, Last Word, Naked &
Famous, etc.). Not big enough for sours, don’t try. Stick to 4.25-5 oz (it’ll be difficult to find anything bigger).

Highball/Collins: (fig. 4) For long drinks. 10-13 oz.

Veladora: (fig. 5) If you insist on having shot glasses at home, have these instead. Technically a traditional mezcal drinking vessel, based on the votive glasses that were repurposed after burning in a Oaxacan church
(hence the crucifix). Much better than the one that says “I got lei’d at a Jimmy Buffet concert” that’s on your mantle right now. Actually, keep that one as well. R.I.P. (in cheeseburger paradise).

Tiki mug: (fig. 6) Scour online auctions for vintage ones or pick them up at a well-respected tiki bar. These are unnecessary, but so are cocktails.

Vintage decanters: (fig. 7) Don’t go looking for these to store booze (they make lovely vases though). They’re likely made of lead crystal, which can leach into your alcohol and poison you. If you’re descended from
aristocracy and all your male ancestors had gout, this is why.

fig. 3 fig. 6
fig. 2 fig. 4

fig. 1
fig. 5 fig. 7

Bonus Round:
How to Use a Wine Key

1: Grip the shoulder of the bottle firmly with your non-dominant hand (at first, it will feel safer to keep the bottle on the table, but this greatly limits your control; pick it up).

2: With your dominant hand, cut the foil just under the second lip, using the ridge as a guide. Make a single, clean, and deliberate incision along the front of the bottle (fig. 1), then flip your wine key and perform
the same motion around back. I like to imagine slitting someone’s throat, then saying “fuck it, let’s do the whole head” (I need this bottle more than you know). If you had a happy childhood: 9 o’clock to 3 o’clock
(passing 12 o'clock), then 9 o’clock to 3 o’clock (passing 6 o'clock). I also like to make a small, vertical incision at this point from the cut to the cork (we’re talking about wine bottles again), but this is optional. Now
simply use the sharp side of your knife to lift/scrape up the liberated
bit of foil and discard (if you’re tableside, into the pocket) (fig. 2).

3: After ensuring no dirt or debris is around the cork or rim (more

of a concern with older bottles), position the tip of the worm (the
curly part), just a few millimeters off the center of the cork (imagine
the worm is wrapped around a really thick toothpick; now place the
imaginary tip of the imaginary toothpick into true center) (fig. 3).
Twist straight down until only one rotation of the worm remains
(fig.4).

4: Place first hinge of wine key onto bottle lip, holding it firmly in fig. 1
place with the thumb of your non-dominant hand, while pulling up fig. 2 fig. 3 fig. 4
on the lever with your dominant hand until almost fully extended
(fig. 5). Repeat this action with the second hinge of the wine key,
stopping just short of removing the cork from the bottle (fig. 6).

5: Wrap your dominant hand around the cork and remove gently,
making as little noise as possible (popping bottles is generally
regarded as tacky and unprofessional, but don’t let me tell you how
to live in your own damn house) (fig. 7).

6: Forget (fig. 8)

fig. 5 fig. 7 fig. 8

fig. 6

1 From Chockie Tom’s amazing Doom Tiki pop-up

7
 fig. 2

fig. 3

fig. 1

fig. 4

fig. 5

fig. 7

fig. 6

fig. 8

fig. 9
fig. 10

fig. 12

fig. 11

fig. 15

fig. 13

fig. 14

8
 Less Basic Bar Tools

Citrus/vegetable peeler: (fig.1) Perfectly viable twists can be cut with a paring knife (some bartenders prefer this), but I’m partial to a cheap Y-peeler. They’re quick and consistent,
and did I mention cheap? They’re great in the kitchen besides. They also smell fear, so learn proper technique or you’ll be peeling yourself.

Lewis bag: (fig. 2) Thick canvas bag used for making crushed ice (for a Mint Julep, for instance). The absorbent material soaks up any melt water leaving you with perfectly dry
pillowy ice, not ice soup, which you can end up with using other methods. You can accomplish similar, though not perfect, results with a clean tea towel. Do not, as some internet
bartenders will suggest, use a plastic zip top bag, unless you want a wet kitchen and plastic shrapnel in your cocktails.

“Schmallet”: (fig. 3) Big-ass wooden mallet for crushing ice. Ideally, used in tandem with the Lewis Bag. The large surface area of the schmallet means you won’t be playing whack-
a-mole with slippery ice cubes. This and the Lewis Bag could/should probably go in the next section, but they’re too fun. Seriously some of my favorite pieces of at-home kit. Not
terribly practical for a busy bar (get a pebble ice machine).

Digital scale: (fig. 4) While not a necessity for cocktails, per se, these are just really nice to have, especially for special ingredient prep. If you do any cooking or baking besides,
they’re a game changer. At time of writing, the Ozeri Pronto can be had for like $10. If you’re planning on getting weird, and messing with powdered acids and such, you’ll also
want to invest in a “jewelry scale” (they’re for drugs), that’s accurate to at least 0.01g. Another $10. Important note: do not use these for volumetric measurements. They measure
mass. Most will list fluid ounces as one of their available units of measure, but unless you’re measuring plain water (1 ml of water = 1 g), this will be an approximation only. For
volumetric measures (ml, fl oz, etc.), continue to use a jigger or measuring cup.

Ra Chand J195 & J210: (fig. 5) If you’re going to be juicing a lot of citrus regularly (say, for a vodka lemonade stand), it might be worth it to invest in one of these. Both are
commercial quality and built like tanks. The J195 is handheld, but competent users can process a case of limes in around 20 minutes, with a little prep (it’s a sight to behold—but
mind flying lime shells). In recent years, I’ve become an evangelist for the J210 for commercial operations. It’s efficient, silent, nearly unbreakable, and a fraction of the cost of the
loud, heavy, pain-in-the-ass-to-use, kinda-dangerous, foolishly expensive Sunkist J-1(fig. 6), that is considered the industry-standard by most and which, at time of writing, retails
for around $800. The Ra Chand J210 is around $125; the J195 will set you back less than $20. Buy yourself something nice with the money I just saved you (maybe a backup
copy of this book).

Mini Bonus Round:

How to prepare lemons and limes for a Ra Chand

This simple trick will save time, increase yields, and spare your paws a lot of strain:

Place a shallow vertical incision into your fruit (pole to pole) before cutting it in half (hemispherically).
This slice allows the citrus halves to easily splay out, releasing maximum juice with minimum effort.

Note: some boxes of citrus come with a diagram printed on the side that suggest cutting the fruit into
elaborate sections before juicing. Ignore that; it sucks. Vertical cut, skin deep. That’s all you need.

Completely Unnecessary Bar Tools

Immersion circulator: (fig. 7) These keep water at a precise temperature for long periods of time. Originally created for hospitals, they were repurposed by avant-garde chefs for
perfect sous vide cooking. For our purposes, they can be used to preserve the freshness of berry syrups or to speed up infusions. I’ve used them for years for rapid “barrel-aging”
without evaporating alcohol. Unless you plan on using one of these regularly for cooking, or you run a professional bar, don’t even think about it.

Clear ice makers: (fig. 8) I’ve used them all. I find them fussy and overpriced. I use the low-tech cooler method (outlined in the next chapter) both at home and in my bars.

Atomizer: (fig. 9) It’s a little spray bottle. Used for misting aromatic ingredients (absinthe, Chartreuse, vermouth, Islay scotch, etc.) either over a finished cocktail or inside a glass
before pouring in the drink. Originally, these effects were accomplished, respectively, by floating a small amount of the ingredient on top of your drink (a “float”), or rolling a
small amount of the ingredient around in an empty glass until it coats the sides (a “rinse”—bartenders in New Orleans accomplish this by tossing their Sazerac glasses, spiked with
absinthe, high into the air). Atomizers have the benefit of consistency and control and considerably less waste. They also more effectively volatilize the smelly-good compounds,
useful if the ingredient is acting as an aromatic garnish. You can get cheap ones at a craft store or on Amazon, but the more expensive ones will generally last longer and function
noticeably better. We use them in my bars, but I don’t personally own one, if that tells you anything.

Whipped cream dispenser: (fig. 10) We use these for rapid infusions and the occasional foam or meringue garnish. iSi makes the best. You almost certainly do not need this at
home (even for whipped cream).

Seriously, don’t buy this

Ice ball press: (fig. 11) These are stupid and overpriced. If you get one as a gift or brand swag, be appreciative, but don’t buy this. It makes a single soaking wet ice ball before
needing 20 minutes to return to functional (room) temperature. Want an ice ball? Grab an ice pick and make it yourself like Japanese bartenders do. Go online right now and watch
Hidetsugu Ueno make a fucking diamond.

Ice stamp: (fig. 12) Unless you own a cocktail bar, this is serial killer behavior.

Branding iron: (fig. 13) We use these for citrus twists. Unless you own a cocktail bar or cattle ranch or maybe tattoo studio, this is serial killer behavior.

Rotary evaporator (“Rotovap”): (fig. 14) This is lab equipment used for vacuum distillation. It’s one of the bigger flexes in the bar world at the moment as they cost several grand.
They can effectively make spirits out of anything.1 Actually, if you have the money, go for it.

Brix refractometer: (fig. 15) This is a device for measuring the sugar content of a liquid, which is very useful information to scientists, and distillers, and overly fussy beverage
directors who insist that all syrups be interchangeable. Anyway, I have one of these at the bar and at home. If I had a father, he may have told me that lab equipment won’t get you
laid. Well, I don’t and he didn’t and he’d be wrong anyway.

1 Depending on where you are located, such as the United States, this could be legally questionable.

9
 Chapter II

Liquor Cabinet
A (Very) Brief Introduction to Spirits

Spirits are made by a process called distillation, whereby the alcoholic strength of a fermented beverage is increased by selective boiling and subsequent condensation.
Evidence of the practice extends to the second-century BCE in the Middle East and Asia. By the thirteenth-century CE the practice was well developed and distillers in
Italy were producing spirits in copper pot stills not drastically different from those being used today. For our purposes, most spirits can be divided into the following categories:

Vodka Agave Spirits

Historic evidence of vodka’s origins is sparse, but similar beverages have been produced in both Russia Another often misunderstood category, it includes tequila, mezcal and lesser-know bacanora, raicilla, and
and Poland since the Middle Ages. Modern vodka is clear and clean-tasting (“flavorless” and “neutral” sotol (made from the desert spoon plant Dasylirion wheeleri, formerly classified as an agave but reclassifed
are relative terms and, as such, are generally unhelpful to a guest and, as such, are rarely employed into the Nolinoideae subfamily in the 1990s—whatever, it stays). It is unknown whether distilled spirits
by yours truly). It is often made from grain, though it may be made from any fermentable material. existed in Mexico prior to the arrival of the Spanish in the sixteenth century, who began distilling
The relative absence of impurities—read: flavor compounds—allows the pure clean taste of the alcohol pulque—a traditional beverage made from the fermented sap of the agave plant and still consumed in
to shine through. Differences between brands are subtle and express themselves as much in mouthfeel Mexico—into mezcal.
(dense, light, oily, silky, etc.) as in taste or flavor. A great vodka is an exercise in subtlety. Long ignored
and maligned by the craft cocktail community, vodka is making a slow return to the backbars of quality Mezcal is, traditionally, the name given to any Mexican agave distillate. However, legal and commercial use
establishments. of the word became more restricted in 1997 after the product was granted Denominación de Origen (DO)
status. Tequila is a type of mezcal made exclusively from blue agave, within a legally-defined production
Recommended affordable brands: Stoli, Sobieski, Absolut, Chopin, Grey Goose zone that includes Jalisco and limited areas of four nearby states. However, the differences between
products labeled tequila and mezcal are mostly stylistic and have less to do with legal designations than
consumer expectation. For instance, most modern tequila is produced by steaming the agave piña in steel
Gin ovens, leading to a cleaner, more vegetal expression. By contrast, most modern mezcal is still produced
What began as a medicinal tonic of distilled grape wine and juniper berries,1 in and around Belgium in the traditional manner, by roasting the piña in earthen pits lined with stones. This contributes the
in the twelfth century, evolved into an internationally-recognized recreational tipple by the sixteenth distinctive “smokiness” notable in many mezcals.
century, with production centered in the Netherlands. By then the distillate had switched to malt
grain delicately flavored with botanicals. Genever/Jenever fetched a high price abroad, leading English Recommended affordable brands: El Jimador, Olmeca Altos, Corralejo; Banhez, Del Maguey Vida
distillers, spurred by government action in 1690, to attempt versions of their own. Lacking both skill
and resources, many resorted to aggressive infusions of juniper, along with other adulterants, such as Brandy
turpentine, into mostly neutral grain spirit. In time, this failed imitation would develop and mature into
the dominant style known today as London Dry. In addition to these, you may encounter: Old Tom—a This category encompasses any spirit distilled from fruit, though it is most often used to describe those
historic lightly-sweetened style that is making a slow comeback. Plymouth—made only in Plymouth, distilled from fermented grape must or pomace (i.e., wine). Brandies produced from other fruits are
England from Dartmoor water and possessing an earthy richness. New/International—a diverse category often referred to instead as eau(x)-de-vie [water(s) of life]. Though the history of brandy is likely tied to
that encompasses products that are expanding the definition of gin, with everything from barrel-aging to the history of distillation itself, serious production of brandy did not begin until the fifteenth century
the use of botanicals that, in some cases, overwhelm the juniper character. in France. Originally the distillation of wine was undertaken to preserve and concentrate wine for easier
overseas shipping (and to limit the tax that was paid on the volume of such goods). The intention was
Recommended affordable brands: Tanquerey, Bombay, Plymouth, Beefeater, Roku, Bols (genever) to return the water content to the brandy after the oversea voyage, thus making “wine.” However, it was
soon discovered that the distilled spirit, having been shipped in wood barrels, had developed into an
exciting tipple in its own right. Not only did the wood-aging impart a warm spice character to the spirit,
Rum the distillation process precipitated the creation of several new flavor compounds. As is often the case, a
Rum is produced by the fermentation and subsequent distillation of sugar, sugarcane juice, or the by- new industry was born by accident. Cognac is brandy that is produced in the Cognac region of France. It
products of sugar production (usually molasses). Its history can be traced back to seventh-century India, must be twice-distilled in copper pot stills and age at least two years in French oak barrels harvested from
though it was likely produced elsewhere even earlier. It is mentioned in many Sanskrit texts from the specific forests. Pisco is a vegetal (and delicious) grape brandy from Peru and Chile. The name “Brandy”
period. The diversity of this category is immense, ranging from the clean-tasting rums of Puerto Rico, derives from the Dutch brandewijn [burned wine].
to the intensely grassy rhum agricoles of the French Caribbean, including enchanting expressions from
Jamaica, Barbados, Guyana, Nicaragua, Brazil (Cachaça), the United States, and beyond. Recommended affordable brands: Ansac, Couvoisier VS, Barsol (pisco)

Recommended affordable brands: Bacardi, Flor de Caña, Planteray, Pusser’s, Smith & Cross, El Dorado, Liqueurs, Amari, & Fortified Wine
Leblon (Cachaça), Rhum J.M (agricole)
There’s a lot of overlap in these categories, along with the attendant bickering about what belongs where.
We’re gonna mostly skip that part. It’s tedious semantics and hair-splitting and life is short (there’s not
Whisk(e)y even consensus among producers so you’re not going to get it ‘right’). For our purposes, the following
An immense and often misunderstood category that encompasses the national spirits of several countries. loose definitions will suffice:
Whiskey (spelled “whisky” in Scotland and occasionally elsewhere—including, strangely, Maker’s Mark
bourbon), is a distilled beverage made from fermented grain mash (read: beer) which may include malted Liqueurs are sweetened and flavored concoctions made with distilled spirit. Amari—plural of the Italian
and unmalted barley, corn, rye, and/or wheat. It is typically aged in oak barrels. We can trace the history amaro [bitter]—are a loosely defined class of liqueur that are usually dark in color and, you guessed it,
of modern whiskey to Scotland in the fifteenth century (though there are many in Ireland who would bitter. These will sometimes be referred to as digestivi or, if you’re speaking of a product made in France,
dispute this). The name is an anglicization of the Scots Gaelic uisge beatha [water of life]. a digestif, to differentiate from their more delicate, less bitter cousins, the aperitivo/aperitif. The latter
are meant to be enjoyed at the beginning of a meal, the former at its conclusion. In Italy, they make the
Bourbon whiskey may only be produced in the United States from a grain bill of at least 51 percent difference easily discernible by dying most aperitivi red; No such luck in France. Some place both in the
corn and aged in charred new oak barrels. Similarly, American rye whiskey is made from a majority rye amari category; others insist only digestivi belong. Whatever. Who cares. Don’t even get me started on
grain bill. Additional restrictions apply for “straight” and “bonded” whiskeys. Scotch is made in—you fernets. Fortified Wine is a broad category that includes everything from sherry, Madeira, and port to
guessed it—Scotland, and often possesses a distinctive peaty and/or smoky character due to the practice aromatised varieties like vermouth and quinquinas. A wine base is “fortified” by the addition of distilled
undertaken by many distillers of drying and/or roasting barley malt over a peat fire. The intensity of this spirit, usually brandy. It may be further “aromatised” with herbs and spices. Keep them refrigerated after
expression varies widely from region to region, the highest concentration of these flavors often found in opening. Even chilled, most will start to decline in quality after around 1 month. After 3-4 months,
the whiskies of Islay. Scotch is also aged in barrels but there is no requirement, as there is in the United they’re probably best for cooking. The Martini and the Manhattan have suffered immeasurable harm
States, that they not be previously used. For this reason, it is not uncommon that a scotch whisky be aged from bartenders who allow their vermouth to spoil. A rarely used bottle, sitting in the speed rail of a
in a barrel that previously housed bourbon. Other countries, including Japan, Ireland, Canada, and even dive bar for months, basking in the radiant heat of the bartender’s crotch night after night, will not an
India and Taiwan are today producing world-class whiskey. Don’t limit yourself to bourbon! enjoyable cocktail make. There’s little wonder why most people think they don’t like vermouth. You don’t
like hot balls vermouth.2 Neither do I.
Recommended affordable brands: Bourbon: Four Roses, Old Grand-Dad, Buffalo Trace; Rye: Old
Overholt, Rittenhouse; Scotch: The Famous Grouse, Johnny Walker Red; Irish: Jameson, Tullamore Recommended affordable brands: Vermouth:3 Noilly Prat, Carpano; Orange liqueur: Cointreau,
D.E.W.; Japanese: Suntory Toki, Nikka Days Giffard, Combier; Maraschino: Luxardo, Maraska; Amaretto: Lazzaroni, Disaronno (only if the first is
unavailable); Aperitivo/Aperitif: Campari, Aperol, Bruto Americano, Lillet Blanc, Cocchi Americano;
Digestivo/Digestif: Averna, Cynar, Amaro Nonino, Fernet-Branca, Chartreuse (Green then Yellow);
Pimento Dram: Hamilton, St. Elizabeth; Absinthe/Anise liqueur: Pernod, Herbsaint, St. George

1 The purported salutary effects of juniper at the time were vast, ranging from digestion aid, pain reliever, preservative, and disinfectant, among others. Dutch plague doctors in the fourteenth century
packed their unsettling little beaks with it.
2 Band name, called it.
3 You may notice that Dolin is conspicuously missing from my list. Despite being a bartender darling (I used to agree), I’m convinced something changed a few years ago, either in their formulation or
their quality control, and I haven’t liked it since. I don’t have anything to go on besides my palate and those of some trusted colleagues, but the proof of the pudding is in the taste. I check in every few months to
see if they’re back on track, but the change, whatever it is, appears to be permanent.

10
 How to Stock a Home Bar
Start small. You can get a lot of traction out of precious few bottles, provided they’re the right bottles. Below are my suggestions, but they’re just that. Feel free to alter. It’s your bar. Can’t live without elderflower
liqueur? Make that your first purchase. Hate mezcal? Skip it. Who cares? This planet will be uninhabitable in like forty years. Do you think I care if you don’t like mezcal? I do. Shit is good and it’s later than you
think. Take your pleasures where you can find ‘em.

Don’t put expensive booze into cocktails. As long as it’s not in a plastic bottle, you’ll mostly be okay. Around $25 for a bottle is sufficient in almost all cases (at time of writing, anyway), though you may occasionally
pony up for a pricey liqueur. That said, if it’s all you have, stick to simple stirred cocktails (Old Fashioned, Manhattan, Martini, etc.), as their quality won’t get as lost in the sauce.

Keep your vermouth refrigerated. Yes, I’m repeating myself. The same goes for anything below 20 percent ABV and/or anything with a wine base (e.g., Lillet, Cocchi Americano, Cappelletti, port, sherry, madeira,
marsala, etc.). Will it explode if you don’t? No. Will it taste better—and for longer—if you do? Indubitably. Please spare me the opinions of the one or two high-profile bartenders who now claim this is overkill.
We get it; you’re an iconoclast; how brave; we’re all very impressed. As I was saying: if you have the space in your refrigerator (consolidate your ketchup bottles), do the obvious thing. Ignoring me is not as cool as
you think (pun intended).

Author’s note: When I say “home bar,” I don’t actually mean a miniature bar in your house/basement/garage, complete with bar top, stools, and a neon sign.
If you have the space—and can’t think of anything better to put there, like a revolving circular bed—then go for it, I guess. Personally, I can’t shake the image of a Fisher-
Price bar set, but that’s my own hang-up. At home, I keep my bar tools with my kitchen tools. By all means, get as precious as you want, but don’t let your lack of a tap
system keep you from making the occasional drink at home. Less bar, more tender. xoxo

Five-Bottle Bar
dry gin, bourbon, sweet vermouth, dry vermouth, Angostura aromatic bitters

Ten-Bottle Bar
+ vodka, white rum, blanco tequila, blended scotch, orange liqueur

Fifteen-Bottle Bar
+ Italian red bitter (preferably Campari), Green Chartreuse, maraschino liqueur, orange bitters, Peychaud’s Bitters

Twenty-Bottle Bar
+ mezcal, rye whiskey, aged rum, absinthe,1 pimento dram

1 Or absinthe substitute, such as those made by Pernod or Herbsaint. These are a lot softer on the wallet, especially if you’re only using it for the occasional glass rinse (Sazerac, Corpse Reviver No. 2,
etc.). If you want to do a drip, splurge for the real stuff. It’s noticeably better.

11
 Chapter III

Ice
Types and their uses
Cube (e.g., “ice”)
Mixing and service. This is your meat and potatoes. Ideally, we’d all have a properly-functioning Kold Draft or Hoshizaki1 machine in our kitchens at home, but I keep wasting my tax return on rent and keeping
myself alive. Until that day comes when I take a good long look in the mirror and get my priorities straight, there’s ugly crescent ice from the freezer; I imagine most of you are in the same boat. Here’s the thing:
it’ll do. It may not look as sexy in a glass, but it shakes up just fine, provided a few conditions are met (more on that in a bit).

Does it taste gross? Well, has the change filter light been on since you moved in? If that doesn’t solve the problem—or even if it does and you just want more attractive ice—invest in a few cheap ice trays. The white
plastic ones your mom has are perfectly serviceable for shaking, and even serving in a pinch. Silicone molds are great, and can produce handsome—though cloudy—cubes of various sizes, spears, and spheres. That
said, spend a couple bucks more and buy from a reputable dealer, such as Cocktail Kingdom, as cheaper products can impart an off-flavor to the ice. Metal cube molds—yes, they still exist—impart no off-flavors
and usually include a very satisfying lever mechanism for breaking the ice (I’m not sure why we stopped using these, but I also don’t know why we stopped wearing breeches). If your tap water is yucky, invest in a
cheap (or expensive) water filter, everything helps. Don’t put bad water into good booze.

In terms of shaking, nearly any reasonably-sized ice will do as long as it’s not too cold and not too hot (yes, both of these things can happen).

Ice straight out of the freezer, will be somewhere in the vicinity of -18°C. Not only will it shatter in your tins, creating a slush that contributes to holdback (the bit of your cocktail that remains stuck to the ice after
straining), but shaken or stirred, it will spend an inordinate amount of time slowly (relatively speaking) absorbing heat from your cocktail before it starts melting. This may initially sound like a good thing, but
it’s not. Not only is dilution a necessary part of all cocktails, but this is a wildly inefficient way of chilling your drink; the water from melting ice incorporating itself into your beverage is the rapid, and predicable,
method around which nearly all modern cocktails are constructed. Ice just slightly colder than freezing—like that sitting in an well-insulated bar well—is ideal. The moment the surface goes from frosted and satin
to wet and glassy, you’re in business. If your ice is too cold: wait.

But don’t wait too long, or you’ll have our next problem: Ice that has been sitting for some amount of time with suboptimal insulation and/or drainage may get too hot. I’m being a little glib here. It’s ice, it’s still
cold—at or below freezing, to be exact—but the melted water clinging to its surface is not, and it will dilute your cocktail on contact without much chilling. This is what we call in the industry, “shitty ice,” but it’s
not beyond saving (we’d call it “Branden ice,” in that case). If your ice is too hot: strain.

Simply drain off the surface water from your ice before shaking or stirring; you can do this directly from the tin or mixing glass, then add your cocktail ingredients. Be sure to give it a few flicks of the wrist to really
get as much water off as possible. If you really want to rehabilitate the little buggers, you could toss them with a dry towel or give them a ride in a salad spinner (or both), but if you’ve got the time, energy, and
resources at hand for such endeavors, I imagine you might not be the kind of person with shitty ice to begin with.

Pebble or Crushed
Service (or mixing, in a pinch). If it’s made in an ice machine, I call it “pebble” (some people say “nugget,” but I can’t do that without giggling, or “cobbled,” but I don’t like that and I don’t know why). If it’s made
by hand—Lewis bag, ice crusher, pillowcase and brick wall—I call it “crushed” (because that’s what it is). There’s technically a third in this category: “shaved,” but it’s a little novel for our purposes.2 Both pebble and
crushed are useful and attractive presentation ice, particularly for tropical cocktails. It will keep your drink very cold but, due to the large surface area, it will dilute quickly. For that reason, it’s best used for cocktails
that drink well at frigid temperatures and over a large range of dilution. High alcohol tiki cocktails, such as the Zombie, are great candidates, Many, if fact, would have originally been whipped up in an electric
blender, an experience which pulverized ice more closely approximates than plain old cubes. The quintessential crushed ice cocktail, the Mint Julep, is just cold flavored whiskey without the heavenly snow though
which it is sipped. I prefer crushed to pebble for this application; the irregular combination of shrapnel and powder (name of my autobiography) packs together beautifully into that iconic mound above the rim.
The silver cup is cute; the right ice is essential. If you’re using cube ice, call it something else.

If I’m serving a cocktail on pebble ice, I expect the presentation ice to provide most of the dilution and, therefore, chilling. Enter: whip shake, which we’ll explore in the next chapter.

Big Rock
Service (or mixing, if you’re a goofball). These are somewhere in the vicinity of 2” cubes, though commercial manufactures may have a few versions to accommodate different uses and glass sizes. Perfectly usable versions
can be made with silicone molds (see above note re: quality molds), but they will be cloudy. If you want the clear-as-virgin-tears specimens you see in some bars, you have a few options: 1) Pick up an overpriced bag
from a natty grocery store, or pay even more to have it delivered (if you live in or near a major city, that is). 2) Spend several grand on a Clinebell machine. 3) Spend $15 on a lunch cooler (see next page).

They’re resource intensive, either in time or money, but damn are they beautiful. Due to their reduced surface area, relative to an equal volume of cubes or pebbles, they will melt slower in your serving glass. This
may or may not be a good thing, as melting is necessary for chilling. For cocktails that don’t need to remain frigid cold over the life of the drink, and will be sipped leisurely while they slowly evolve (looking at you,
Old Fashioned), they are ideal. Despite popular opinion, a slightly cloudy rock works almost just as good as a clear one i.e., they don’t melt especially faster or break apart in a tin much more readily. Yes, people
occasionally shake, and sometimes stir, with big rocks.

The benefits that shaking your cocktail with a big rock has on aeration are established, but no one has come up with a convincing explanation as to why. Maybe it’s the lack of sharp edges that would otherwise pop
your little bubbles; who knows? In any case, as previously mentioned, the relatively low surface area causes another problem: underdilution. Though, as Dave Arnold discovered, this can be offset by adding a couple
regular cubes to the mix before shaking (this does not appear to greatly diminish the aerating effects, further obfuscating the science). For me, this is a solution looking for a problem. It’s the infomercial phenomenon:
I didn’t suffer from under-aeration until someone told me I did (to be clear, I don’t; that was one time). That said, if you’ve got a lot of big cubes lying around, have at it.

You can, in certain very limited circumstances, stir over a big rock right in your serving glass. This will take an inordinate amount of time to get anywhere near what we might consider proper dilution (more on that
in the next chapter), but what about those drinks that don’t need to be properly diluted, at least initially, such as the Old Fashioned and her descendants (Fancy Free, American Trilogy, Chet Baker, Ghost Story,
etc.). These cocktails are mercifully adaptable to a wide variety of dilutions and temperatures, which is ideal, as they are meant to be sipped slowly, rather than inhaled (not everyone got the memo on that). Simply
pour over a big rock and give a few stirs.3 The first sips will be barely chilled, boozy as hell, and fine by me. By the time your late friends arrive, it will be a little colder, a little smoother on the back of the throat, and
still very much my cup of tea. If you’ve shown restraint, the last sip will be ice cold and lightly boozy, the spirit giving you a final little wet kiss on the forehead. Now I need one.

Spear
Service (not mixing). These are designed to fit into collins glasses, are usually somewhere around 5” x 1.25” x 1.25,” and are cute as hell. You can get silicone molds, but since they’re really presentation-only, I say
clear or don’t bother. Anyone who sells clear cubes will probably sell clear spears, or you can make you own (see next page). A vodka soda poured over one of these is practically invisible (I once had a snappy guest
say, “um, can I maybe get some ice?”). You’ll occasionally spot a social media startender using one to “chill” a glass, but I think this is silly (and wildly inefficient).

Other Shit
Service (ditto). Spheres, bermudas, diamonds, cubes with flowers and gold frozen into ‘em, stamped and patterned ice. Yeah, they’re out there. Most can be made at home, with a little patience.
If you’re so inclined, I recommend The Ice Book (2023), by my friend, Camper English.

1 These are the two major—really, the only—players in the bar ice wars (Cold War II? Kold War?). Kold Draft machines produce very attractive 2.25” cubes but then break down ask how their day went.
Hoshizaki machines produce nearly as attractive 1.9” x 1.9” x 2.3” damn-near cubes and are basically indestructible. Having suffered too many runs to the local bodega to grab bags of ice to get us through the rest
of service, I switched sides years ago to Hoshizaki. Countless other bar managers have done the same. She’s the marrying type.
2 If you refuse to be dissuaded, you can purchase a cheap plastic manual ice shaver for around $50. The beautiful, cast iron, Japanese number (probably a Hatsuyuki or a Swan) you spotted last weekend
at the new cocktail bar in town will run you closer to $700. Here’s what they’re good for: Step 1.) Park a stemmed cocktail glass underneath and fill it with a mountain of pillowy snow. Step 2.) Pour over an
undiluted cocktail, preferably tableside (otherwise, why bother?) Step 3.) Enjoy a crunchy and soon-to-be perfectly normal cocktail. Conclusion: it’s a neat trick for a bar but I don’t see much use for them at
home, unless you have a snow cone fetish. In which case, get sticky.
3 One of the first bars I worked at did $5 Old Fashioned Sundays. There was one bartender on Sunday, and that was me. I would line up ten at a time and build them right over the rock (batching and
pre-diluting hadn’t occurred to us apparently). Conservatively, I made 5,000 Old Fashioned cocktails that year. Yes, I make them okay now.

12
 How to Make Clear Ice at Home
Tools needed: cooler, bread knife, whacking implement.

The technique we’re going to apply is called “directional freezing,” and we’re stealing it from mother nature. The first commercially harvested ice cubes were crystal clear. This is because they were cut from lake ice,
which freezes slowly from the top down, pushing out trapped gases and impurities as it goes. Lakes and ponds rarely freeze solid—for reasons that are beyond the scope of this book to explain (mostly because I don’t
understand)—meaning there’s always a reservoir of liquid water underneath to catch the detritus. Clinebell machines work in much the same way, just from the bottom up. If you’re a cocktail bar (or ice sculptor)
in a major city, you’ll likely have one, either in house or under contract for ice deliveries.1 For the rest of us, there’s the lunch cooler.2 Any hard sided number that will comfortably fit into your freezer will do, but
I’m a Coleman FlipLid 6 man, myself.3 Yes, they make various contraptions that claim to do this but, for the home bartender especially, I’ve found them all some combination of A) useless B) expensive C) fussy.

1. Remove the lid. We need to freeze from one direction, remember? Keep the lid in a safe place. Your mom could make you start paying rent soon and you’ll have to get a real job. Maybe she’ll pack your lunch
though?

2. Fill with water. A couple cm from the top is ideal. Many will say to use hot water (did the lake use hot water?), but I’ve tested both and can’t tell a difference. Also, hot water from the tap has likely been sitting
in your water heater, leaching minerals. Depending on when you or your city/apartment building/bunker updated the plumbing, that could include lead. In any case, it probably doesn’t taste good.

3. Toss in freezer. Right around twenty-four hours is usually the sweet spot, but this will vary depending on a variety of factors including, but not limited to, the temperature of your freezer (duh), and the airflow
around your TV dinners. It could take as long as forty-eight hours. The first couple tries will likely be trial and error. Set a timer. Don’t forget about it. This only works if you catch it before it freezes solid. If
it does, your ice will be cloudy, cracked, and misshapen. It can also damage your cooler as the ice expands. We’re looking for 2” of solid clear ice. If it’s less, leave it in longer. If it’s more, take it out sooner. You
got this.

4. Let it temper. Take it out of the freezer and just let it sit for like twenty minutes or so. It’s pretty stable at this point so feel free to finish your sandwich, provided it doesn’t take over, like, an hour. Right out of
the freezer, the ice is going to be nearly impossible to remove from the cooler, and too brittle to cut, in any case. You’ll know it’s ready when the surface stops being frosty and starts to get glassy. Then it’ll slide
right out onto your bar mat (or cutting board, or obnoxiously oversized drink rail, or cell floor). If not using a bar mat or drain of some sort, I recommend laying down a towel.

5. Chisel away the pocket of liquid water. This is easy, and very satisfying. Use the bread knife. Definitely do this part over the sink. Square up the sides and corners until you have a pretty clean 2” slab of crystal
clear ice.

6. Measure and score. I encourage you to actually use a ruler or measuring tape the first few times you do this (at my bars, we place 2” of painters tape near the cutting area so we can check our work). Using your
bread knife, scratch a 2” line lengthwise down the slab (the depth of the knife’s teeth should be sufficient).

7. Tap. We’re not cutting, per se. We’re encouraging clean breaks [sighs]. Position your bread knife, teeth down and as straight as possible, along the score line you just made. Now make a series of gentle taps with
your whacking implement (I use a muddler) up and down the back of the blade, creating microfractures that will eventually—if you’ve kept your knife straight—result in a clean vertical separation (then that
part of the ice moves back in with their parents for a while; starts writing again).

8. Repeat steps 6 and 7, following the cutting map, until you have twelve 2” x 2” x 2” ice cubes. Return to freezer.

Pro tip: A little vodka will keep them from sticking together when the surface refreezes. It’ll also rinse off your gross hand oils and the blood from that cut you gave yourself earlier with a citrus peeler that keeps
reopening. Just give them a splash (or use an atomizer) then strain. Whatever is left stuck to the surface of the ice will be sufficient. Don’t let them swim in vodka. That’s your mom’s job. Tell her I says hi.

CUTTING

MAP

1 I was given the role of “ice bitch” at my first cocktail bar. Meaning I would show up an hour or two early, take the sawhorses and plywood out of the shed, lubricate the electric chainsaw with vegetable
oil, and cut our 25 lb blocks of Clinebell ice into perfect 2” cubes. I would usually do 7 blocks at a go. That’s a lot of snow in the shoes.
2 In my bars, we now use Ghost Ice silicone inserts, which allow us to use much larger coolers and to skip the cutting step. They also make the inserts for smaller coolers, but they’re not cheap. Personally,
I prefer the look and feel of hand cut ice—especially at home—but this saves us some time and ensures consistency
3 Just leave me alone for a few days. Shortly before publishing, I got word that Coleman has discontinued the FlipLid 6, without replacing it with a similarly sized model. I’m gutted. I would suggest
the Igloo Legend 6 as a substitute but, at time of writing, both the manufacturer and old baldy Bezos are sold out. You can still, for now, find them at more esoteric merchants, either online or in person (Ace
Hardware, Camping World, ACME Tools, Lube Land—okay, I made one of those up). Hop to it. They’re collector’s items.

13
 Chapter IV

Technique
When a cocktail contains juice, dairy, egg, or a foaming agent:
shake

When it doesn’t:
stir

As with all rules, there are exceptions—White Russian, Bradford, Shakerato, Bitter Giuseppe, maybe a Dirty Martini, your friend who doesn’t like pudding—but this will steer you right about 99.7 percent of
the time.

Ingredients like the ones mentioned above either benefit from, or absolutely require, aggressive agitation and aeration. What do I mean by “foaming agent?” Commercial examples abound—Fee Foam, Frothee,
Wonderfoam, etc.—but also homegrown versions like aquafaba or fluff (recipe in back). Though rarely used for this express purpose, ingredients such as grapefruit juice, honey, and most at-home fermentations
contribute an attractive light foam when shaken properly.

When a cocktail doesn’t contain these ingredients (i.e., is basically composed of booze and water), not only is shaking unnecessary, but potentially detrimental. I say “potentially” because adults suck and rules are
dumb. Much of the mythology surrounding the dangers of shaking a drink that is meant to be stirred is frankly overblown. That said, I’ll tell you why I like a Martini, Manhattan, Old Fashioned, etc. stirred, and
you make up your own damn mind. Here it is: mouthfeel.

Aeration disrupts that silky smooth texture of an aromatic1 cocktail, which affects its appearance as well as its reception on the palate. Consider a crisp Martini as it lands in front of you at the bar, crystal clear and
pure as water; how it elegantly glides across the tongue, like a ballerina dipped in oil [clears search history]. Would this experience be inextricably ruined by aeration? Depends on the day you’ve had. Eventually
though, the bubbles would come out of solution, and all would be well with the world. That said, if someone is paying good money for a cocktail, or you value your friendships, you should strive to deliver that
cocktail perfectly chilled, perfectly beautiful, and ready to drink. Don’t make your guests—or your parents/spouse/self—have to wait for your mistakes to settle. Follow the rules, unless asked by the person who will
consume the drink to do otherwise (they like ice chips, for instance—which is fine). They’re (mostly) there for a reason.

Aeration is where these methods really differ. What they have in common is chilling and dilution, which are inextricably linked. That said, shaking achieves this goal quickly and efficiently; stirring, a little less so.
Takeaway: shaken drinks will get colder faster than stirred ones. Incidentally, this is fine for our purposes; stirred cocktails, especially those with wood-aged spirits, are often at their best around 0 to -1°C, easily
achievable with a good fifteen-second stir. Shaken cocktails on the other hand, comparatively lower proof and containing citrus and sugar, drink well around -3 to -5°C, which can be reached with a vigorous 10
second shake. Your aunt that insists that a shaken Martini is colder is not wrong, and not just because of the ice chips she insists you leave in (which actually might be counter-productive, see below). You can
certainly get to arctic temperatures with stirring, but it will take an inordinate amount of time, and by that point you’ll have overdilution with which to contend. Admittedly, a frigid cold Martini is a thing of beauty
but, as mentioned above, you will (temporarily) sacrifice texture for temperature if you choose to shake it. If you want the best of both worlds, consider making a batch of Freezer Martini and simply pouring into
a chilled glass. Cocktails are easy.

Misapprehension I: Bruising

I see a couple of you in the back emphatically raising your hands. Yes, I’ve heard about bruising a spirit. No, I don’t think it’s a thing, but I also don’t believe in god (i.e., you will not be the first to call me a heretic;
hi mom). Are there volatile chemical compounds, particularly in botanical spirits like gin, that are shocked out of solution by shaking? More so than by stirring? Or transporting from their home country on a
combination of planes, trains, boats, and automobiles? It’s possible, I guess, but I’ve seen no compelling research on the matter; Martini Studies is a woefully underfunded discipline. More importantly, supposing
this is true, why is it a bad thing? Those volatilized compounds would likely just contribute to aroma at that point, further enhancing that divine anticipatory moment before the first sip. Remember, you taste with
your eyes first, your nose second, and finally your tongue (and even this is mostly your nose).

Misapprehension II: Dilution

Water is not your enemy. It is a necessary part of any good cocktail. In fact, you should expect to add around 33 percent of the original volume of stirred cocktails, and around 50 percent of the original volume of
shaken cocktails in added water (+/- 5 percent). It’s so important to the quality and palatability of the finished drink that for batch recipes, including the draft cocktails at my bar, we calculate the necessary amount
of water and add it straight to keg or bottle. Furthermore, as we discussed in the previous chapter, dilution is a necessary part of chilling. Don’t fight it. If you’re making a batched cocktail, or simply want to double
check your mixing technique, the calculation is simple:

}
the way
For approximate shaken cocktail dilution: divide mix volume by 2 ing important, by
This is really fuck
For approximate stirred cocktail dilution: divide mix volume by 3

E.g.: a stirred martini (60 ml gin + 30 ml dry vermouth) has a mix volume of 90 ml
Divide by 3 for expected added dilution: 30 ml
Add this to mix volume for final volume: 120 ml

Again, these are approximate numbers. Boozier concoctions—a daiquiri made with navy-strength Jamaican rum, for instance—can usually handle slightly higher dilution. Further evidence that god is a barmaid:
the higher the ABV, the quicker the dilution. Upshot: You don’t need to do a damn thing.

Misapprehension III: Ice Chips

Ice chips do not make your drink especially colder, or keep it cold for much longer, if at all. I’ve tested it, multiple times, with as close to lab conditions as I can reasonably achieve. In some cases, usually higher ABV
concoctions, the drink with the ice chips actually stayed 1°C warmer (!) throughout the life of the cocktail, compared to an identical drink without the chips. To be honest, I’m not completely clear on the science
here, but that’s my (repeatable) documented observation. If I had to venture a guess—one based on my incredibly limited understanding of thermodynamics—it would have to do with the meager energy exchange
of a comparatively small amount of ice moving from a lower energy state (ice) into a higher energy state (water). The heat absorbed during that process is not adequately offset by the chilling power of such a small
amount of ice in a comparatively large amount of liquid. I see many holes in this explanation, but it’s the best I’ve got at the moment. It’s counterintuitive but, whatever the mechanics at play, them’s the results. I also
don’t have a lab. I have a bar, I have a kitchen, I have a notebook. After more experiments in better controlled conditions, I may change my tune. But in the real world (where I imagine most of you will be making
your drinks), the difference is inconclusive at best.

However, the ice chips themselves are plenty cold (they’re ice), and pleasantly crunchy, and, if you’re from my generation or older, a nostalgic signifier that your bartender cared enough to put some ass behind it. I
see the appeal. My favorite steakhouse2 always leaves them in and I love it. I predict we will see a partial return to ice chips in the near future, maybe before I finish writing this fucking book. I need a:

Freezer Martini
This will make a single frosty 750 ml bottle. Depending on your freezer, you can expect this to pour a couple degrees colder (at least) than you can properly achieve by stirring. Feel
free to alter to your tastes—I like a few dashes of orange bitters and maybe some fino sherry in place of some of the vermouth—but keep the ABV high or the cocktail might freeze and
explode (more on why this happens in a bit). Oh, and use a chilled glass. Duh.

450 ml gin
90 ml dry vermouth
180 ml water

1 Boozy and probably stirred and probably containing a defining aromatic ingredient (vermouth, other fortified wine, herbal liqueur, amari, etc.). As far as I can gather, David Embury was the first to
apply this moniker.
2 Update: shortly after writing this section I encountered not one, but two, giant cockroaches while enjoying a ribeye and Martini at said establishment. As someone in the industry, who knows what an
uphill battle pests can be, I’m sympathetic; but I will probably be leaving ice chips in my own Martini for a little while. It’s too damn dark in there to risk it.

14
 How to Shake
Shaking technique is very personal. Feel free to make it your own. As long as you keep some coverage on top and bottom (some bartenders
use their whole hand), and shake with conviction, you’ll be fine. Some pretty—but basically unnecessary—flourishes are discussed on the next
page.

1. Pour measured cocktail ingredients into small half of cocktail shaker.

2. Fill large half of shaker at least three-quarters full with ice.
3. Pour contents of small shaker into large shaker, nestling the former into the latter in such a way that the outer wall of the small tin is
resting against the inner wall of the large tin.
4. Give the bottom of the small tin a firm smack with the heel of your hand to ensure it is seated.
5. Place the thumb of your dominant hand on the bottom of the small tin and the middle and ring finger of your non-dominant hand on
the bottom of the large tin.
6. Shake vigorously, back and forth, passing your ear on your dominant side before fully extending your arms, for approximately ten
seconds—the ice should sound like a piston moving in a cylinder. If that analogy means nothing to you, think: choo choo train.
7. Separate the shakers, using one of the methods below, allowing the cocktail to remain in the big tin.
8. Strain through Hawthorne strainer and, optionally, fine strainer.
9. Serve.

How to Break
Due to a bizarre phenomenon actually called “the anomalous expansion of water,” whereby water—and I’m
simplifying here—expands as it cools and contracts as it heats back up (opposite of most other substances),
a strong vacuum is created inside your tins. As the ice melts, the water contracts, as does the rapidly chilling
air, creating an impressively strong seal. In plain English: it takes some finesse to get these fuckers apart.

Over the years, my preferred method has evolved, but all of these will do the job; take your pick:

Dive bar star (2011-2014): Grip the bottom half of the shaker (the big one or, if you’re me at the time,
the only metal one) firmly in your non-dominant hand. If we consider the point where the walls of the
two shakers meet as 6 o’clock, either 3 o’clock or 9 o’clock will be your strike zone, whichever is on your
dominant side. Give a smart whack with the heel of your hand, and you’ll hear the seal break. It’ll need to
be a harder slap than you initially think, but as long as you’re holding the bottom half firmly, you’ll be fine.
Note: the pint glasses used in old school Boston shaker setups are pretty tough; breaking them during this
process is rare, but not unheard of. One of my early mentors had to be rushed to the hospital and endure
a few months of hand therapy afterward. Maybe at least remove your replica Super Bowl ring. Forever.

Milk & Honey wannabe (2014-2020/present): Same as above but instead of slapping, we’re going to
position the heel of our dominant hand against 12 o’clock; that’s our fulcrum. Now, gripping the top
portion of the small tin with your thumb and fingers, pull firmly towards your palm. If you’ve done this
with appropriate conviction, and you’re of sound mind and pure heart (more or less), you should be
rewarded with a satisfying hisssss-THWACK! It’s a drug. Pure, uncut, disco ASMR. That’s why I had to give
it up.

Confession: I grabbed a set of tins from the kitchen to confirm the mechanics. I’m currently sitting at my
desk, doing this over and over again. Hope I remember to feed the dog today.

“He’s the quiet type” (2020-present): Almost identical to above but with the fulcrum at 5 o’clock or 7
o’clock, whichever is on your dominant side. The result is a gentle release rather than a violent snap; you’re
simply easing the seal apart. I got it in my head a few years back that making as little noise as possible
behind the bar was the next frontier. It’s certainly more elegant than making as much noise as possible (you
know the guys—and yes, they’re all guys), but maybe I overcorrected (see above confession). Cocktails can,
and should, employ all the senses. Just don’t be a tedious brute. You look—and sound—silly.

How to Stir
Stirring technique is not personal. Just do it like this if you don’t want to look like a tumbling dickweed (like Jon Taffer did on live
television).

1. Pour measured cocktail ingredients into mixing vessel.

2. Fill vessel at least three-quarters full of ice.
3. Position thumb and middle finger of non-dominant hand on base of mixing vessel to hold in place.
4. With dominant hand, place barspoon into mixing vessel, positioning it between the ice and the inner wall (concave side of spoon
should be facing in); handle of barspoon should be held between ring finger (behind) and middle finger (front)
5. Stir for approximately fifteen seconds by simply pushing with ring finger and pulling with middle finger, allowing the bowl of the
spoon to rotate around ice (this part takes practice).
6. Strain through julep strainer (or hawthorne if one is unavailable).
7. Serve. I’m really proud of you.

15
 Alternative Shaking Styles
Two-Point Shake (opposite page): This is what I do. Why? It looks cute, but not too cute. If there are practical benefits beyond aesthetics (which is plenty practical in my book—which you’re reading), they’re so
marginal as to be practically negligible. Bartenders who employ multi-pronged shakes are fond of waxing poetic, usually unbidden, about the cyclonic vortex created when moving your tins up and down in addition
to side to side, especially if you add a little roll, pitch, and yaw with the wrists while doing it (more on that below). Again, I would love to get a research grant to test shaking methods in true lab conditions, but to
the best of my ability, I can’t reliably see enough of a difference to advocate one flourish over the other. A good hard back and forth will get you where you want to go (works on your mom, anyway), but if you’ve
got your dancing shoes on, far be it from me to cut the music.

Three-Point Shake (same as opposite page, just add an additional extension in the middle): This is where things start to get a little fussy for my tastes, but different strokes, as they say. To be fair, I have seen plenty
of bartenders pull this off and look cook as hell, but I’ve seen many, many more look foolish and overcooked. In the West, many would call this the “Japanese hard shake,” as popularized by Kazuo Uyeda, especially
when employing the signature wrist pitch. Bartenders in Japan are not particularly attached to that term, as most, including Uyeda himself, recognize that a bartender’s shake is deeply personal. I’ll discuss the “hard
shake,” and Western bartending’s—overwrought, in my opinion—fascination with it, more in the next chapter. Suffice it to say, it’s tricky to get right; even Uyeda loses the beat sometimes (I would never say this to
his face). If this is your particular shimmy, I recommend practicing first with the blinds drawn and the aid of a mirror or video camera before forcing it upon the world. In my experience, it’s a little easier to achieve
with a cobbler shaker—unsurprisingly, the type preferred in Japan. If and when you do get it in a presentable condition, don’t lose yourself. You’re taking three lefts to make a right. Embrace it and stay humble.

Alternative Shaking Techniques

Dry Shake: If a cocktail contains raw egg—especially freshly cracked—you may benefit from shaking for a few seconds first without ice. This loosens the thick inner albumen and begins the aeration process, leading
to a fluffier, and more consistent, meringue. Keep in mind, your tins won’t be as tightly sealed without ice, so you’ll need to hold them firmly together manually. This is not a mess you want to clean up. In high
volume establishments, especially those that use pasteurized egg whites, it’s perfectly admissible to skip this step, provided your bartenders are shaking vigorously (dig yourself a grave and roll over in it if you have
a problem with this).

Reverse Dry Shake: The bar world went nuts over this a few years ago, before quietly deciding it mostly wasn’t worth the trouble. I mostly agree (hell, sometimes I can’t even be bothered to dry shake), but it’s a
technique with which you should at least be familiar, so you can nod knowingly when your bartender goes the extra kilometer (metric slut♥ ). I do employ this method for a Shakerato, as I’m trying to do a lot with
a little.

Whip Shake: Place one to two normal ice cubes or five to ten ice pebbles in your tin and shake to completion (i.e., until all the ice is dissolved), no need to strain. This is a beneficial method for cocktails served on
pebble/crushed ice or drinks that contain a healthy dose of mixer (club soda, ginger beer, etc.) i.e., “long drinks.” In the former case, the presentation ice will provide most of the dilution/chilling; in the latter, the
dilution is built in. As others have noticed, this can be a useful technique for frothy cocktails (I use it for an expedited Ramos Gin Fizz) as it’s effectively a self-contained reverse dry shake.

Alternative Shaking Methods

Double Shake: This one takes practice, but unlike the Three-Point Shake, it has undeniable practical benefits. Admittedly, as a home bartender, you may not find occasion to use this much, unless you’re hosting a
cocktail party and making everything to order, which I usually do not advise unless you’re happy to spend the entire party serving your guests and stubbornly intent on showing off your skills. Just make sure you
have skills first, otherwise you’ll have an angry, sober line in no time. Wars have been started over less (see: all wars). The issue with the Double Shake is that you’re driving without insurance; if the tins come apart,
there’s a good chance someone is getting wet (your mom), unless your grip is real sticky (okay, that one was intentional). Thankfully, provided you’ve given your tins a little spankin’ to ensure they were seated, and
didn’t forget the ice, they rarely come apart on their own. That said, it happens—a stray piece of ice shrapnel around the rim, stressed or poorly made tins, Mercury retrograde, Freddie Mercury’s ghost, who knows.
The best we can do is grip the connection as wide as possible, so there’s some portion of your hand on both tins; you can prevent potential disaster this way. It's allowed to me to recover multiple slipped tins, but
my butthole falls off every time. I do not recommend this for dry shakes, unless you’re extremely confident in your skills or you don’t mind egg whites in your hair (purportedly how Josephine Baker achieved her
enviably shiny coiffure though, so, silver lining).

Shaking and Stirring at the same time: One in each hand. Looks cool as hell. Takes practice. Literally no reason to do this at home, but a hobby’s a hobby. Send vids.

Bonus Round
Rolling/Throwing

Though sometimes used interchangeably (along with Tossing, Stretching, Pulling, etc.), it’s important to distinguish between terms, since each method is trying to accomplish different things. Keep in
mind that other bartenders may define things differently, and that’s (mostly) okay. I do think a little more precision in language would benefit everyone, everywhere, in all industries though. Rolling, for
our purposes, can be defined as pouring a cocktail, ice and all, back and forth between tins that are held relatively close together. Some may even close the tins and simply roll the drink with a twist of
the wrist. The idea is to mix and lightly aerate the contents, without creating an undue amount of foam. This is particularly useful for a Bloody Mary, which is at its best somewhere between stirring and
shaking. The former leaves it thick and chewy; the latter, feathery and insipid. The middle ground gives it just enough of a massage to wake it up. Rolling is also occasionally used for cocktails containing
pineapple juice, when an excessively frothy texture is regarded as undesirable. Throwing, while similar, involves a bit more theater and a lot more aeration (though still not as much as shaking). It involves
pouring from one tin into another (I recommend small to large), while holding back the ice (I recommend a julep strainer), and progressively increasing the distance between your tins as far as possible
(adepts often accompany this with a side-to-side rocking of the body for additional style points). This is said to be beneficial for cocktails containing a wine-based ingredient—vermouth, sherry, some
apéritifs—as the moderate aeration releases delicate aromatic compounds that would otherwise be lost through violent agitation. It’s probably no wonder that I am apprehensive of this claim (flip back a
couple pages for my thoughts on “bruising”), but I won’t dismiss it outright. Bartenders also occasionally pontificate about the relative size of bubbles but, tellingly, they can’t seem to agree on which method
produces the bigger ones. In any case, when done well, throwing is beautiful. When done very well, it’s spellbinding. Importantly, it also makes a damn fine drink and—as far as the modern cocktail is
concerned—actually predates shaking by some time; but that is a story for another book (wink).

Shit you can use if you don’t have a cocktail shaker:

Mason jar, deli cup, Hydro Flask, coffee thermos, literally anything with a tight-fitting lid.

If you can fit in some ice cubes, you’re golden. Otherwise—recycled water bottle for instance—just add some water for dilution (calculator on page 14) and pop that jawn in the fridge or cooler for a bit. Shake it
up before serving. You just made a Gimlet at work. And they say surgeons are dumb (someone has probably said that at some point; an anesthesiologist probably).

Shit you can use if you don’t have a cocktail strainer:

The tight-fitting lid, loosened.

...and if you’ve got a bad back:

Turn to page 20.

16
 1

I’m completely nude.

2
 Counting Shakes

or

The Best Advice in This Whole Damn Book

I spent years trying to train myself to count seconds while ignoring the incredibly loud locomotive cacophony issuing forth from my tins as I shook a cocktail. Unless you’re at death’s door, or in a k-hole, it’s unlikely
that every twitch of your tins corresponds perfectly to one second (though it could correspond to an easily divisible fraction of a second; more on that in a moment). If you’ve tried it, you’ll know how difficult it is
to count seconds in your head when a faster tempo is being beaten against metal a few millimeters from your ear. Enter: counting shakes.

Settle on a comfortable shaking pace—not the frenetic one you use once or twice a night when your crush is watching—your actual, soup to nuts, end of dinner party, eight-hour shift while hungover, realistic (but
not unprofessional) shaking pace. Using a stopwatch and a friend (or a big school clock and the second hand if you have no friends), count how many shakes you fit into ten seconds. Do it again. Then, do it again.
Provided they are within a digit or two, take the average—this is your count. If they are drastically different each time, try again tomorrow when you are less hungover.

What exactly do you count? Who cares, as long as you’re consistent. I personally count each raised extension (“1”on the previous diagram). Using this method, my average is around seventeen shakes in ten seconds,
which is a pretty moderate pace (that said, my arms are long and I get a full extension; if you’re reading this and are T. rex, you should compensate by shaking a little faster). I do occasionally—and then mostly
involuntarily—shake faster when trying to maximize aeration (for an egg white cocktail or goddamned espresso martini, for instance) or if I’m playing catch up on drink orders (learn bartender: “in the weeds”),
even though the difference it makes is marginal, but this is my replicable pace 90 percent of the time. Also, when it comes to foam, sometimes marginal is important.

Couldn’t you just shoot for twenty shakes in ten seconds and count every other shake to get an accurate second measurement? Yes, you could. In fact, this would be a very respectable shaking speed for most people.
But mine is seventeen.

This method has another supplemental benefit that is a minor crusade of mine:
Getting bartenders (home and professional) to calm the fuck down.

We have to stop promoting techniques that are, aside from being almost entirely unnecessary, impractical—if not wholly inaccessible—for all but a few to do
consistently. These are usually young people, who slowly destroy their bodies (shoulders, nasal cavities, etc.) trying to put on a good show night after night.
With the exceptions already mentioned above (and even those have caveats), the frenetic gyrations undertaken by some bartenders are not making your drink
especially better or colder or getting them cold especially faster; the differences are marginal at best, and the gap closes at around ten seconds as the inside
of the tins gets closer to thermal equilibrium.

Furthermore, I don’t think it’s a good show. Call me old fashioned, but effortless cool is the only cool there is. Don’t misunderstand: I’m not advocating laziness;
don’t shake like a cow chews. But there’s a not-so-subtle difference between haste and frenzy; the former looks professional, the latter looks desperate. In any case,
adopting a more reasonable shaking speed has the benefit of less stress on your joints (and that big vein in your forehead—I don’t know what it’s called, but it looks
important). For home bartenders, this might not be a major concern. For pros, this might mean a few more years before we have to start doing brand work. As for

kidding?
me, I initially trained my non-dominant side for precisely this reason. I’m too shy for cold calling.

So admit to yourself that your show-shake is not your real pace. Count it, and get consistent. This is the next step in becoming a good bartender all of the time,

You thought I was

not just when cameras are on or when pretty eyes are watching. Actually, show off for your date. Fuck it.

Should you count stirs?

You certainly can, but I personally find it less useful. I have considerably less trouble counting accurate seconds while stirring. It probably has something to do with
not having ice and stainless steel use my eardrums as a timpani. Furthermore, once you get somewhat proficient at stirring, your rotations will likely be too fast to count
comfortably. I can usually get to twenty before my brain falls down the stairs. With this in mind, if I were insistent on counting rotations, I would count them
in packages of no more than twenty. For instance: I do just over sixty rotations in fifteen seconds (I know because it is my business to know), so I would count to twenty, thrice,
and a few for good measure. Or you could just slowly count out ten seconds. Take your pick.

Shaking Wrong

or

The Second Best Advice in This Whole Damn Book

While training my non-dominant side, I began to ask, “why do we have sides at all? Are we really getting that much more extension by bringing the tins up to our ears? Does it matter? Who am I?” etc., etc. If you’ve
ever watched a Japanese bartender deftly maneuver a cobbler shaker, you may have noticed that they, almost exclusively, shake in front of their bodies, not to one side. I, for one, appreciate the aesthetic balance.
What I appreciate even more is the ergonomics. Shaking to one side—and one side only—creates asymmetrical stress on muscles and joints. Shaking a few drinks a year at home? Probably not a big deal. Shaking
several hundred every week for more than a decade? Hopefully, you have good health insurance (that’s a little bartender joke).

Enter: The Hybrid Shake (East meets West)

Admittedly, I didn’t invent this. It’s actually not uncommon to spot the occasional European bartender employing it, and the reason is probably obvious: they learned on a cobbler shaker and switched to a Boston.
Stateside, as expected, it’s as rare as, well, cobbler shakers.

Here it is:

Using a Boston shaker, shake in front of your body. Yup, that’s it. If you really want to maximize ergonomics, switch hands with every drink. Since you probably don’t switch hands every time you...do other stuff,
that’s probably overkill. Oh, you do? Right on. Again, this is not permission to be drowsy. Just because you’re not being bothered to raise your hands above eye-level, doesn’t mean you can rock-a-bye baby. As Harry
Craddock famously quips in The Savoy Cocktail Book (1930), “you are trying to wake it up, not send it to sleep!” Shake-a-bye baby. Wait. No.

I train the lopsided way in “How to Shake” because that’s currently industry standard, at least in the States. Also, I think knowing the rules makes breaking them so much more delicious.

18
 The Metronome

or

How I Train New Bartenders

Counting shakes is all well and good if you already have a comfortable shaking pace, but what
if you’re brand new to this, and it all feels...awkward? Enter: The Metronome. If you’ve seen
A River Runs Through It (1992)—and if you haven’t, do that now—you’ll know that you
can, and should, use a metronome for pursuits other than music. In fact, many composers
have spoken out against their (over)use in musical composition and performance: Johannes
Brahms wouldn’t be caught dead using one (outside the bedroom, that is). Let’s give them
a new purpose. 100 bpm (aka The Dad )
~17 shakes per 10 seconds
If you don’t have a metronome (what?), you can download an app or play a metronome Song inspiration: “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield
track through a music streaming service. You can also—and this is probably preferable
for most of you— practice to a song at your chosen bpm. The idea is that As previously mentioned, this is my personal pace and, frankly, it’s about as slow as
you get the rhythm in your muscles. Eventually you won’t need the click you can go without running into trouble. Even still, you have to commit to nice
or the song; you’ll just feel it. strong shakes and good extension (force will compensate for speed). I find this a
very comfortable rhythm for bartenders of nearly all ages and abilities. It’s also
I’ve done temperature and dilution tests at all three tempos kinda jazzy.
and the differences are negligible. Transparently, I did
not expect such a result. It appears that time under 120 bpm (aka The Pro)
agitation, above and below certain thresholds is the 20 shakes per 10 seconds
important factor. Between these thresholds, there appears Song inspiration: “Sexual Eruption” by Snoop Dogg
to be a little wiggle room (literally).
This is the perfect tempo, in my opinion, especially if you’re just starting out.
It’s unfussy, looks good, and feels natural. That last bit may, or may not,
have something to do with our biology. The science is far from settled, but
human locomotion (walking, typing, applause, tapping your finger on a
desk, etc.) appears to hover somewhere around 2 Hz (so, 120 bpm). In
any case, it’s everywhere. From the 1940s on, the average tempo of our
most popular songs has only fluctuated about 5 bpm, from 117-122. It’s
One-Point Shake: count every other outward extension. also a common tempo for military marches. Is it ubiquitous because
Two-Point Shake: count every raised extension. it’s in our bones, or is it in our bones because it’s ubiquitous? For our
Three-Point Shake: count every raised and every lowered extension. purposes, who cares. If you have any sense of rhythm at all, you’ve
Four-Point Shake: go to hell. been preparing for this your whole life (maybe all of humanity has).
And by “this,” I mean shaking a Grasshopper to the beat of “Sexual
Eruption.” Thanks, evolution.

150 bpm (aka The Kid )

25 shakes per 10 seconds
Song inspiration: “Beez In The Trap” by Nicki Minaj
ft. 2 Chainz

For those of you with puppy energy, this is the upper limit of
what I recommend (because I’m convinced it’s as fast as you
can be over an entire shift without powdering
your nose). It looks good provided it doesn’t
gas you out or make you look strained; no
one wants you sweating into their drink or
accidentally farting. And don’t forget your face:
concentration ≠ constipation.

Practice playlists can be found at:

ThisIsACocktailBook.com

Unlike those listed as such on most music streaming services, these playlists only include songs that are exactly the bpm they claim.

19
 The Blender

This modern marvel has been unfairly maligned of late. Okay, yes, there’s no shortage of shitty blender cocktails out there, but it’s a poor workman who blames his tools i.e., the bartender that made you a gross
blended daiquiri would have bit the dust just as bad, if not worse, if he or she had shaken it.

Almost immediately after its patent in 1922, forward-looking bartenders such as Cuba’s Constantino Ribalaigua Vert, and America’s own paterfamilias of tiki, Donn Beach, became enamored. The former used it to
create a delicate frappé that mounded, just so, above the rim of the glass, slowly melting into a perfectly portioned arctic salve for the tropical heat. The later used it to rapidly chill and aerate his “rhum rhapsodies,”
producing a very cold, very lively drink that had as much in common with a slushy as I do (okay, bad comparison). In both cases, they used precise technique, yielding concoctions that became damn famous, because
they were damn good. The blender can, and should, be used to make cocktails, even at home. Hell, especially at home (they’re a pain behind the bar). Let’s see how to do it right, or at least less wrong.

You’re going to need a kitchen scale for this, there’s no way around it. They’re cheap and you’ll use it for other things (drugs). The stumbling block for most blended cocktails is ice, and that’s what we need to control.
Shaken and stirred drinks are a little more forgiving; fill your vessel about 50-75 percent, by eye, and have at it. The blender is not so merciful. You must weigh it. Cocktail bars that know exactly how much ice a
particular scoop holds have done the work and can now skip this step, but I imagine this is not the case in your kitchen, not yet anyway.

The following recipes can be made with cheap consumer-grade blenders, even the single-serve blenders most of us have these days (Nutribullet, Ninja, Beast, etc.), and plain old ice cubes. If you have access to a
Vitamix or pebble ice, great, you may just need to blend a little less (use your ears).

Why the added sweetener? Cold drastically reduces our perception of sweetness. This, combined with the relatively high rate of dilution in most blended cocktails means that without it, your cocktail would taste
thin and sour. I’m increasing it by the bare minimum. Feel free to add even more (if you’re making a blender Margarita in a Nutribullet on a Thursday, I think sugar intake is probably the least of your problems).
If the sweet ingredient is something other than simple syrup/sugar (orange liqueur, for instance), feel free to add more of that.

The Easy Way1

Standard shaken cocktail recipe + 7 ml additional sweetener per serving + pinch of salt (optional)

For a good drink: + 50 g ice + 8-12 seconds (until you stop hearing big chunks)

This is, arguably, a better method of making a shaken cocktail than shaking it. It’s quick, the dilution is perfect, and it’s fully aerated (duh). This relatively small
amount of ice will readily disintegrate into a really cold, really good cocktail. If I can’t be bothered, I reach for a blender. Here’s where it starts to get spooky:
Espresso Martini ✓, egg white sours ✓, Ramos Gin Fizz ✓ (the best you’ve ever had), A fucking batch of Ramos Gin Fizzes ✓ ✓ ✓. Yup.

For a lite slush: + 90 g ice + 15-25 seconds (ditto big chunks)

Now we’re getting into Donn Beach territory. It’s not a slushy, it won’t mound above the glass, but neither is it fully melted. It exists in that magical land between
frozen and thawed, and the limbo is lovely. Like Donn Beach, feel free to top up with pebble ice. Maybe add a garnish, even if you’re alone. Cheers.

For a goddamn slushy: + 120 g ice + 30-60 seconds (ditto)

This will be overdiluted, but that’s expected, and it’ll bother you less than you think. Look, for all my bellyaching, it’s a goddamn slushy. It’s good for what it is.
Stronger flavors and/or higher proof (mezcal, Jamaican rum, bonded whiskey, etc.) will have an easier time shining through. You want something better? Read on.

The Better Way

60 ml spirit + 20 g sugar + 1 g acid powder + pinch of salt (optional, I guess)

For a really goddamn good slushy: + 120 g ice + 30-60 seconds (ditto ditto)

Just as easy, if not more so, than the first method, and a good argument for always having acid powder on hand (which is cheap, readily available, and shelf-stable; we’ll discuss it more in Chapter VIII). Use citric in
place of lemon juice, malic in place of lime,2 but either will work in a pinch. Since we’re getting all our dilution from the ice, we end up with concentrated flavor. This is a drink.

Obviously, this won’t work perfectly for every conceivable shaken cocktail: some have liquid ingredients beyond the base spirit. Okay, don’t make those. Or, do, with alterations. A small splash of a strongly flavored
ingredient, such as absinthe or maraschino, isn’t going to throw off your dilution. For other ingredients, show some creativity, get irreverent. Instead of orange liqueur, use orange bitters; instead of orgeat, toss in a
couple almonds and a drop of rose water; in place of Campari, drop in an orange twist; instead of grenadine, use two red gummy bears (untested and mostly a joke); use herbs; use fruit. You have a blender and a
dream. This is the first day of the rest of your life. Speaking of which:

Ramos Gin Fizz for a crowd

Making one of these is not overly demanding. Making a round of them is hell. I will go to heaven for this.

For each serving (do as many at a time as your blender can accommodate):
60 ml Old Tom gin (dry gin will work fine), 30 ml heavy cream, 30 ml simple syrup (1:1), 10 ml lemon juice, 10 ml lime juice, 15 ml egg white, 3 drops orange flower water
2 ice cubes

Blend until ice is fully dissolved. Immediately distribute into glasses (preferably 8 oz and straight-sided), being careful to get an identical amount of meringue into each glass. Allow meringue to harden in
refrigerator for 5 minutes. Poke hole into center of meringue(s) with straw, then set aside. Slowly pour soda water through hole until meringue rises approximately 2 cm above rim of glass (pour down a
twisted bar spoon if preferred). Perch straw into center of meringue (push slightly into meringue to prevent it from floating).

1 7-Eleven has a slushy machine and, depending on where you are, mini bottles of liquor at the counter. That is technically the easy way, and far be it from me to judge you for it.
2 The actual acid profile of lime juice is roughly 4 percent citric to 2 percent malic (and trace amount of succinic, but don’t, just don’t, not for a slushy). If you have a sensitive enough scale, feel free to
split your acid allotment between .6 g citric and .4 g malic.

20
 Chapter V
An Incredibly Brief, Woefully Incomplete, Americentric, Biased, & Poorly Understood

History of the Cocktail

T T
he first known mention of the word cocktail being used to describe a he second known mention of the word cocktail being used to describe a
beverage, and not a horse (well, perhaps not directly—more on that in a bit), beverage, and not a horse, is from The Farmer’s Cabinet of Amherst, New
is from The Morning Post and Gazetteer of London, England dated 20 March 1798: Hampshire, USA dated 28 April 1803:

Mr. Pitt, two petit vers of “L’huile de Venus” 0 1 0 Drank a glass of cocktail—excellent for the head
Ditto, one of “perfeit amour” 0 0 7 ...
Ditto, “cock-tail” (vulgarly called ginger) 0 0 ¾
Call’d at the Doct’s. found Burnham—he looked very wise—drank
This from a satirical article about a pub owner who, having won the lottery, decides another glass of cocktail.
to forgive the debts of his patrons­—all of them well-known British political figures
of the time.1 I wish I could publish the entire list here (there are some real knee- These mentions are from a purported diary entry of “a lounger.” The document was
slappers), but ink is expensive and this is basically a glorified zine. A few more for supposedly discovered, lying on the ground, by a reader or correspondent to the
fun though, and because they’ll be instructive later: paper, who then submitted it for publication. I don’t have strong notions as to the
veracity of said tale but, for our purposes, that’s irrelevant. In any case, the journal,
Lord Grenville for “cherry-bounce” (at his Office when preparing for real or fabricated, is quite amusing and, again, I wish I could print the entire thing
the House of Peers) 0 17 6 here, but this being a Gutenberg press­and all—you know how it is.
Sir Watkins Lewes three pots of Meux’s “entire butt.” 0 0 10½
Sir John Sinclair “lamb’s wool” 0 2 1 Some additional instructional excerpts:
Duke of Buccleugh, threes “doctors” 0 2 3
Earl of Fife, “cockagee cyder” 0 3 3 FRIDAY.—Waked at 7 by the bell—wonder what people mean by
Mr. Rose (while writing letters upon the reform of public offices) “gin disturbing one so early after an Assembly: turn’d and doz’d ’till 9: got
and bitters” 0 11 7 up, and dressed—felt queer; took a cup of coffee—no appetite.—10.
Lounged to the Doctor’s—found Peter—talked of the girls—smoked
Cherry bounce is a sweetened, cherry-infused brandy. Entire butt2 is a type of half a cigar—felt rather squally: Van Hogan came in—quiz’d me for
blended beer and the precursor to the modern porter (a “butt” is a size of barrel). looking dull—great bore.
Lamb’s wool is sweetened and spiced hot ale mixed with roasted apple pulp.3 ...
Doctors are made by ‘doctoring’ cheap wine by the addition of a liqueur. Cockagee Went to the Col’s. found the girls very lively and sociable—drank a
cyder is made from a particular type of Irish apple. I think you can figure the last glass of wine
one out. ...
Went into the Doct’s.—found Burnham and Van Hogan—drank a
Let’s return to Mr. Pitt for a moment. More precisely, William Pitt the Younger,
who was Prime Minister of Great Britain at the time (a few years later, he would
little gin bim—vile stuff—all went down to the Squire’s—got into
assume the same title for the newly formed United Kingdom). As he never spirits—talk’d very bright—introduced the weather again.
married, and spent most of his social and professional hours in the company of ...
young men, suggestions about his sexuality ran rampant. The three drinks ascribed Smoked another cigar at the Doct’s.—N. B. Doctor’s a famous lounge.
to him are hardly subtle. “L’huile de Venus” [oil of Venus] was a spiced concoction, ...
usually alcoholic but not invariably, named after the Roman goddess of sex and Stroll’d into Atty’s Hall—call’d for cards—play’d till 12—got rather
love. “Perfeit amour” [sic], more likely parfait amour [perfect love], was/is a Dutch hazy.
liqueur dyed red or purple (it too, was/is variously spiced). This brings us to “cock- N. B. Bad wine, never drink such again—went home, to go to bed—
tail.”
wonder what makes me feel sick—folks all asleep—went to bed very
Let’s get the ribald insinuations out of the way before we get to the modern
tired.
etymology. Dessert first, I always say. Though it’s almost certainly not how the
drink got its name (well, not directly...we’ll get there—hold your horses ;), the To be clear, this all reportedly takes place on a single leisurely Friday. Legend.
word “cock,” was already in use as a vulgar term for penis, possibly as early as the
fourteenth century.4 Given the randy associations of the previous two libations, Anyone who’s ever had a hangover will recognize the symptoms immediately. In
the implications of, “cock-tail” seem disappointingly obvious: Mr. Pitt is a fuckboy this context, it appears the cocktail—his second beverage of the day, after the
who fucks boys (i.e., young men, calm down), probably in their entire butts. obligatory coffee and cigar, of course—is acting as a hair-of-the-dog remedy. Based
on his subsequent imbibing, including another cocktail around noon, it seems he’s
To my limited knowledge, I’m the first to make this connection explicit, and by more than familiar with the treatment.
that I mean the first to suggest that the word cock was as funny then as it is
now, and by that I mean the first—again, as far as I can gather—to suggest that Some have suggested that “gin bim” is gin Barbados-style (so, a swizzle—perhaps
the author’s use of the word cocktail, in this instance, was wordplay insinuating a proto-gimlet), but I’ve seen no compelling evidence to back this up. That’s not
penis or maybe even sodomy. Game recognizes game, I guess.5 Juvenile humor is to say it doesn’t exist, I’ve just been unable to personally locate it. It does seem,
timeless. When you make a cock joke and I say, “classic,” I’m actually referring to however, to be some sort of mixed drink or preparation, in any case.
the 1300s.
“N.B.” is an abbreviation of the Latin nota bene [note well]. Its appearance in
We’ll come back to Mr. Pitt­
—more specifically, the price he paid for such the supposed journal is confounding, as the information related appears meant
pleasures—in a moment. for someone other than the author (who clearly knows that Doctor’s is a famous
lounge, he’s there multiple times a day). Perhaps this is an addition of the
contributor or publisher, but the later use of “N.B.” about never drinking such
bad wine again, seems very much a note-to-self. In any case, the clarification is
beneficial. You would be forgiven for assuming initially, as I did, that his doctor
seemed pretty chill and that modern medicine really has gone to the dogs (it
has, but that’s beside the point). The name of the lounge is potentially telling, as
signifying a proto-cocktail bar. This theory is bolstered by the existence of wine and
liqueur concoctions of the same name, contemporary at the time, and mentioned

1 It does appear, based on a seemingly non-satirical article published four days prior, that the pub owner was a real person who actually did win the lottery. He
then, “in a transport of joy...washed out all scores with a mop.” It was the Axe & Gate tavern at the corner of Downing and Whitehall, in case you’ve been avoiding it
for 200 years because your tab was too high.
2 Band name, called it.
3 According to Richard Cook in the second edition of Oxford Night Caps (1835), an early version of this drink was made to celebrate the Celtic pagan festival
La Mas Ubal [day of the apple] which commemorates the angel of fruits and seeds every first of November. The festival, pronounced something like “lamasool,”
became inextricably tied up with the drink, which subsequently became corrupted into lamb’s wool by “our country people.”
4 The etymology there is a story for another book, which I fully intend to write if this one is a success, so spread the word if you want a cock book.
5 There’s a recipe for an Eight Inch Cocktail at the back of this book. It was served in an eight-inch glass, that’s why it’s called that. Pervert. Guess what I used
to measure it.

21
previously alongside the cocktail (see: The first known mention). In addition to use to a democratic candidate: because, a person having swallowed a
wordplay, it’s also a cheeky blurring of the line between doctor/pharmacist and glass of it, is ready to swallow any thing else.
bartender, which continues to this day. Then, as now, many of the ingredients used Edit. Bal.]
by bartenders were originally intended for medicinal application. That’s not to say
that all alcoholic concoctions were ‘off label,’ as it were. Many medicinal tonics of Adding to my list of things that have gone precipitously downhill in the last
the time were not only alcohol based (alcohol is a great solvent, as we will discuss couple of centuries:
in Chapter VII), but often added to booze as a delivery system. Like I said, modern
medicine sucks and is boring. 1. Doctors
2. Letters to the editor
Based on the author’s apparent fondness for drink, and the stabilizing benefits he 3. Responses from the editor
attributes to it, it’s not wild speculation to assume that “cocktail,” in this instance,
refers to something stronger than coffee. That said, the evidence is, although strong, Things we have improved:
merely suggestive, at least for now. We’ll come back to our lounger momentarily.
1. Bicycles

T
he third known mention of the word cocktail being used to describe a It would be a mistake to assume that this definition of cocktail was unquestionably
beverage, and not a horse, is from The Balance, and Columbian Repository the definition used everywhere and for all time. Words, especially slang (of which
of Hudson, New York, USA dated 6 May 1806: cocktail is most definitely derived), evolve rapidly, as do recipes, which sometimes
split off and evolve elsewhere. Just try ordering an Old Fashioned in Wisconsin,
Rum! Rum! Rum! or asking my mom for a bowl of goulash. You can usually see the work though,
and that’s what we’re after. Let’s work backward. Incidentally, the last ingredient is
It is conjectured, that the price of this precious liquor will soon rise at the most important.
Claverack, since a certain candidate has placed in his account of Loss
and Gain, the following items:— 1

Bitters are highly concentrated alcohol infusions of bitter herbs, barks, and
Loss. Gain. botanicals, used medicinally for centuries, and recreationally for only slightly less
720 rum grogs time. In modern parlance, they are almost always referring to those measured in
17 brandy do. dashes, rather than ounces, but the term is sometimes applied to amari as well
32 gin-slings NOTHING. (e.g., referring to Campari as an “Italian red bitter”). Then as now, the term may
411 glasses bitters have occasionally applied to both. In the case of the cocktail, however, it is a safe
25 do. cock-tail assumption that the former ‘non-potable’ variety, intended for small amounts only,
My Election is the one being used.

Again, this is likely a bit of political farce or, at the very least, satire (and a damn At the time this blessed editor put pen to paper, the current industry leaders,
good one at that). In any case, it seems clear that the “cock-tail” mentioned here Angostura and Peychaud’s, were still a few years off (as was the typewriter, it was
is a mixed alcoholic beverage of some sort. Gee, sure wish they’d have given a pen to paper). So what were the bitters being used in the first cocktails? We don’t
definition or recipe. know exactly, but we do know from existing bitters recipes from the time that they
probably weren’t terribly dissimilar from their modern kin. This was the heyday
Hold on to your entire butts. of the patent medicine, in both New England and England Classic, and most

T
commercially available bitters were advertised as such, claiming to cure everything
from dyspepsia (actually plausible; more below) to syphilis (not for lack of trying;
he first known definition of the word cocktail appears in this conversation is over).
The Balance, and Columbian Repository of Hudson, New
York, USA dated 13 May 1806 (yes, same publication, In nature, bitter flavors can signal toxicity, so our ancestors quickly evolved—
one week later): through Darwinian natural selection—not only an aversion to bitter flavors, but a
physiological trigger that kicks our digestion into high gear to clear the offending
Communication. substance. Though, admittedly, poorly studied, this seems to be a credible
mechanism as to why bitter preparations may settle a sour stomach. Anyone who’s
To the Editor of the Balance.
had an Underberg, after eating eleven sausages at Oktoberfest, needs no more
proof of its efficacy than that.
Sir,
I observe in your paper of the 6th instant, in the account of a demo- By the early eighteenth century, patent bitters were being advertised as a curative
cratic candidate for a seat in the Legislature, marked under the head for hangovers when mixed with beer, spirits (often sweetened), or the oft-
of Loss, 25 do. cock-tail. Will you be so obliging as to inform me what recommended Canary wine.1 A preparation common by the middle of the century
is meant by this species of refreshment? [. . .] I have heard of a jorum, involved mixing bitters into brandy then lighting the concoction on fire to melt
of phlegm-cutter and fog driver, of wetting the whistle, and moisten- a bit of loaf sugar into it. God, bartenders really will do anything for attention.2
ing the clay, of a fillip, a spur in the head, quenching a spark in the Sounds like a cock-tail to me.
throat, of flip &c. but never in my life, though I have lived a good
To self-respecting cocktail historians, current evidence leads us to an obvious
many years, did I hear of cock tail before. Is it peculiar to a part of conclusion: the cocktail is not an American invention. This to the chagrin of
this country? Or is it a late invention? Is the name expressive of the many a New Orleans tour guide. If you think that’s slowed them down though,
effect which the drink has on a particular part of the body? Or does it I’ve got some war bonds to sell ya. That said, the cocktail may not have been born
signify that the democrats who take the potion are turned topsycurvy, in the States, but it certainly grew up here (while continuing to summer abroad,
and have their heads where their tails should be? I should think the notably during Prohibition).
latter to be the real solution; but am unwilling to determine finally
until I receive all the information in my power. [...] Whether you The hugely successful and ubiquitous Stoughton’s Bitters, patented in 1712,
answer my inquiry or not, I shall still remain, certainly found its way into some—if not most—of these early proto-cocktails,
in both the U.K. and the States. To be clear, patents were not in the eighteenth
Yours,
century what they are today (most druggists in the U.S. didn’t even bother to get
A SUBSCRIBER. one), and knockoff versions of Stoughton’s were legion. That said, a distinctive
characteristic of Stoughton’s, real and bootleg, was a red-orange hue,3 likely
[As I make it a point, never to publish any thing (under my editorial produced by cochineal dye. This will become important in a bit. Go get a snack
head) but what I can explain, I shall not hesitate to gratify the curios- and then keep reading.
ity of my inquisitive correspondent:—Cock tail, then, is a stimulating
liquor, composed of spirits of any kind, sugar, water, and bitters—it
is vulgarly called bittered sling, and is supposed to be an excellent
electioneering potion, inasmuch as it renders the heart stout and bold,
at the same time that it fuddles the head. It is said also, to be of great

1 Sweet fortified white wine (usually malvasia) from the Canary Islands. Hugely popular at the time. Referenced by Shakespeare in no fewer than three plays.
Also called malmsey or sack.
2 I once told a chef, who was in the process of breaking down a sedan-sized bluefin tuna in a particularly visible area of our open kitchen, that “some people
will do anything for attention.” It did not escape his notice, as it had apparently escaped my own, that I said this while loudly shaking two sets of gold-plated cocktail
tins like maracas.
3 In fact, recent research of primary texts, undertaken by Dave Wondrich (of course), suggests strongly that an early recipe for Stoughton’s Bitters was the
inspiration for modern Campari.

22
 Let's explore some theories.

The Egg Cup Theory The Ginger in the Butt Theory The Redhead Theory
(the dumb one) (a pretty good one) (my theory; mildly interesting, at best)

One of the more tenacious, despite being so easily debunked, This has, quite recently, received a lot of attention, as it’s the pet Despite the admittedly impressive body of evidence, I still have
involves Antoine Peychaud, the Creole apothecary and inventor of theory of our most respected cocktail historian, David Wondrich. It lingering misgivings about the cocktail=ginger tincture theory. I
the eponymous bitters, who supposedly served said bitters in an egg has the twin benefits of being 1.) memorable 2.) strongly supported do find it convincing that the etymology is likely inspired by the
cup, or coquetier, mixed with brandy; a proto-Sazerac, if you will. by the evidence, relatively speaking. A common practice at the “gingering” of a horse, and the subsequent physiological effects it had
After a few of these, the theory goes, the non-Creole tongue may time, used to perk up tired horses before a show or sale, involved on said horse’s tail. That said, I think it nearly as likely that the term
have trouble pronouncing coquetier, and it eventually gets corrupted sticking either a nub of ginger or slice of chile pepper—depending, was simply applied, however loosely, to the purportedly invigorating
into “cocktail.” As far as stories goes, this is a damn good yarn, which I suppose, on preference and/or availability and/or the tiredness of effects of the concoction—in particular, its use as a morning tonic—
is probably why it refuses to die. Furthermore, Antoine Peychaud the horse—into the unfortunate beast’s anus. As can be expected, the rather than the actual use of ginger root. This would not be the first
may have actually served said mixture in said vessel. The issue is animal would cock up its tail and appear lively for a bit. Legend has time the word was repurposed with approximate generality (for
the timing. To be honest, we’re not completely sure when he was it that thoroughbreds, in particular, would be incredibly standoffish instance, to describe a faux-gentleman). I also think it likely that
born, but it’s commonly accepted that he was around 80 years old afterward. Butt stuff be like that sometimes. the word, when applied to horses, was a reference to its resemblance
at the time of his death in 1883. At best, Antoine Peychaud was to the pitched tail of a rooster (though not definitive, multiple
born around the time the cocktail was first mentioned in print; at Though often consumed as a nightcap these days, cocktails at the contemporary sources take this as a matter of course). According to
worst, the first time it was defined. His bitters would not make an time were very much seen as an eye-opener, to be administered the endlessly fascinating Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue,
appearance for another few decades. Antoine Peychaud, cocktail god first thing in the morning and reapplied regularly when in need of compiled in 1785 by English lexicographer Francis Grose, referring
though he may be, did not invent the cocktail. a spark. Furthermore, there’s mounting evidence that cock-tail, at to people with red hair as ginger is “a term borrowed from the cock
least in England, was actually just a preparation of ginger and/or pit, where red cocks are called gingers.” 1
The Mixed Blood Theory chile pepper added to a spirit (or wine or beer or water) as a pick
(The less dumb one) me up. The definition may have only extended to bitters once it It’s clear, at least in the United States, that bitters were the key
reached the States. English sporting writer, John Badcock, leaves ingredient in a cocktail as early as 1806. It’s difficult to believe that
little room for debate when he says, quite plainly, in Sportman’s Slang a full two decades later, when John Badcock is scribbling down his
To be fair, this hasn’t gained a lot of popular traction, probably because
(1825), “Cock-tail—is ginger,” then again in Boxiana; or Sketches of thoughts on the subject, cocktail still just meant ginger extract,
it’s a bit Byzantine, makes a weak initial case, and is a boring story
Modern Pugilism (1828) the same author says, “gin and beer, or both, at least on the other side of the pond. I suppose they do still call
to boot, but it does pop up regularly in academic discussions (well,
combined with a scratch or two of cock-tail in it.” Okay, he’s talking cookies “biscuits” though, so they obviously can’t be trusted. I also
semi-academic, most of us are just bartenders with dusty Humanities
about ginger. Which brings us back to the first known mention of am not completely convinced that “vulgarly called ginger” in the first
degrees) as the progenitors were legitimate scholars. The theory
the word cocktail (above), which, you’ll remember, is “vulgarly called known mention of the word cocktail can be dismissed as hamfisted
becomes considerably more plausible with supporting evidence; most
ginger” and sold for 3/4 of a penny, far less than any other alcoholic wordplay. What if “ginger” really is the slang? Remember Stoughton’s
of which is, admittedly, obscure. Originally proposed by Låftman
beverage on the imaginary menu, suggesting strongly that cocktail Bitters? Remember what color they were? Now, we’re cooking with
(1946) and later championed by etymologist Anatoly Liberman, the
was a cheap addition, likely doled out in dashes or “a scratch or two,” gas.
theory hinges on the then-common practice of docking the tails of
horses that were not thoroughbred, causing them to cock-up and rather than a name for the concoction it produced. That would come
later. Spiking a beverage with Stoughton’s Elixir Magnum Stomachicum—
look perkier, hence the name “cocktails” being applied to them as
its full name—would invariably turn your brew some shade of red.
a class of (mostly) racehorses. The same name would soon be used
Why is it vulgar to call something ginger when it is, in all likelihood, The results would be dramatic in say, English gin or Dutch genever,
to mockingly describe a human man of insufficient breeding, trying
actually just ginger? “Cocktail,” after all, is the slang term, and if but not unnoticeable even in barrel-aged spirits such as brandy or
to pass himself off as a blue blood. Admittedly, I find this to be a
this theory is correct, a damned vulgar one at that. Wondrich has whisk(e)y, as anyone who’s ever had a Sazerac—at least one made
pretty sick burn (almost certainly because it applies to me). The
suggested that perhaps it’s—admittedly pedestrian—wordplay. This in New Orleans—knows well. Referring to something simply by its
theory continues that cock-tail, the drink, was just a continuation of
is a satirical article, after all. It may be something akin, albeit in color as a slang designation is nothing new or unusual. Guinness beer
this linguistic trend, applied to yet another mixed and/or otherwise
reverse, to saying, “what we doctors call, ‘big old titties’,” or “the is commonly referred to simply as “the black stuff.” In the American
adulterated (i.e., not purebred) concoction. Its modern wider usage
technical term is ‘royal shit head’.” The suggestion is, or at least Southwest, you may hear beef chili called “a bowl of red.” In fact, on
(fruit cocktail, tomato juice cocktail, ‘a deadly cocktail of love, lust,
may be, that not using the more worldly slang, and instead calling the very same fictional list of tabs where we find the first mention
and jealousy,’ etc., etc.) seems to support this possibility.
something by its literal designation, is the truly unrefined choice e.g., of cocktail, there’s mention of “cockagee cyder,” made from yellow-
vulgarly called "mammary glands." Honestly, that does sound worse. green Irish apples, so named due to their color resemblance to goose
That said, cocktail (the beverage) was, at the time, only one of many
shit, or cac a’ ghéidh in Irish. Like I said, mildly interesting.
such alcoholic adulterations; there was also the flip, the sling, the
sangaree, the toddy, the nog, the cobbler, the julep, the smash, etc.,
The biggest complication to this theory, and not the only one, is
etc. The cocktail had not yet become the catchall term for mixed
that damned John Badcock and his damned “scratch or two of cock-
alcoholic drinks. In that cast of characters, I’m not sure why one
tail.” His earlier mention of “[c]ock-tail—is ginger” could fit, albeit
would single out the cocktail for particular derision à la ‘you fancy,
poorly, within the redhead theory, especially in a book about slang,
huh?’ As we know from the first known definition the cocktail was
but a scratch seems like an obvious reference to ginger root being
simply a sling (spirit + sugar + water) with the addition of bitters.
pulled along a rasp. Am I dead here? Probably, at least in England,
To be clear, this doesn’t necessarily spell death for the theory. Who
especially at the time. That said, “scratch” could simply be more
knows why some nicknames stick (like your friend, Joseph, who
slang, only loosely connected to its original meaning, in exactly the
everyone calls Garth for some reason). That said, it seems more likely
same way that a “point” was apparently slang for a measure of bitters,
that it’s something about the bitters, rather than simple adulteration,
vermouth, etc. in Milan around 1870.2 Probably not though. I did
that make it a cocktail. Well, in that case...
get really excited about this theory for like a week.

Conclusion:
Cocktail is slang, and slang is hard. It's messy. It means different things
to different people and it evolves rapidly, especially when crossing
oceans. I do think it owes its etymology to the sporting life, probably
horse racing, but maybe cock fighting, and maybe both. I think the
color theory is worth further consideration, but it admittedly lacks
the evidence of what we historians call the “unified theory of the
horse’s asshole.” I’ll endorse that one until given a good reason not to.

Okay, so that’s the name.

The story continues.

1 Why red cocks were called gingers is a deep-dive for another book (about cocks), but a there’s some evidence that certain types of ginger root, common at the time, may have had reddish flesh.
Remember, we weren’t living in an industrialized monoculture yet.
2 At least according to Carpano, who recall this as the origin story of their enormously influential Punt e Mes (point and a half ) bittersweet aperitivo.

23
 Chronology of a Party

King Punch The Golden Age

1632-1806 1806-1919

I won’t spend much time here. This is cocktail book (that’s literally its name), Cocktail historians will squabble over the exact dates, but I’m keeping it simple
not a punch book. The differences may be strictly semantic to the lay person, but and beginning with the first known printed definition of the cocktail. A strong
they’re differences nonetheless. I only mention it now to—with respect and only argument could certainly be made for beginning in 1862, the year Jerry Thomas
slightly—disagree with the prevailing notion that punch is the undisputed ancestor publishes The Bar-Tender’s Manual, but by then the art of bartending was
of the cocktail, at least as far as direct parentage is concerned.1 Unquestionably, the already well established. That book democratized drink mixing to anyone with a
modern cocktail owes much to the innovations of punch, especially those cocktails discretionary $1.50, but it’s hardly the birth of bartending. Up until that point,
involving a citrus component (which we mostly call "sours" these days; more on and for some time thereafter—arguably still—bartending was/is an apprenticed
that in Chapter VI). That said, it is oversimplification to assume a straight and profession. There’s only so much you can learn from a book.5
unbroken line from communal bowl to individual glass. The cocktail, as we have
just discussed in the sections concerning etymology, began life as an à la minute Something the book most certainly did accomplish was to turn the humble
single drink, not the diminution of a larger preparation. Its provenance was very bartender into an international celebrity. Were there well-known bartenders prior
likely wine, beer, or spirits­(the last of these probably sweetened and diluted) to 1862? Of course, but none nearly as famous or as celebrated as Jerry Thomas
spiked to order with ginger or bitters. It was a palliative aid for overindulgence, and his immediate successors. At one point Jerry Thomas was making more money
then simply a morning eye-opener. Of course, the lines between medicine and than the Vice President of the United States of America. Yes, I know that doesn’t
recreation blur quickly when you’re seeing double.2 There’s no evidence that the sound impressive in the age of overnight crypto-billionaires, but he was a fucking
cocktail, at least in the narrow definition assigned to it at birth, took much, if any, bartender (I have a feeling that reference is going to age poorly; good thing this
inspiration from the flowing bowl; it was not (yet) a mini-punch. is printed on sugar). At their peak, top bartenders were regarded with the same
adoration as sports stars. That said, fame isn’t everything (take it from me; I was
That said, punch reigned supreme from roughly the late seventeenth century to the once in the local paper so...). Long prior to 1862, bartenders were quietly honing
middle of the nineteenth century. Somewhere in there, single drink creations got a their craft, sharing recipes, and building the foundations of what would become
foothold, and eventually became the merry tipple of choice. Somewhere in there, modern bartending. Many were just as good and talented, and knowledgeable as
plenty of cross-pollination between punch and the cocktail took place. Punch is a Jerry Thomas when he wrote that book. They may not yet have been deified in
great-uncle or way older second-cousin. It’s not the father. Okay, maybe it’s a step- the eyes of the general public, but every night, when they held court behind the
father. Go to your room, cocktail! You’re not my real dad, Brian! mahogany or zinc, they were elevated to artist-chemist-philosopher-poet in the
eyes of their patrons; multiple contemporary accounts attest to this. That sounds
It’s worth mentioning (and it will bear repeating in a later section) that punch was plenty golden to me.
likely created not only as a more worthwhile vehicle for taking one’s medicine,
but also because spirits at the time were probably pretty harsh. Distilling was still The world would not have to wait long for more cocktail books. The very next
in its comparative infancy, and distillers in the exotic locales where English sailors year, G.E. Roberts would publish Cups and Their Customs, in which he furnishes
and traders often found themselves particularly thirsty (read: sad, hot, and lonely) “a collection of recipes for the brewing of compound drinks.” Many more would
had a habit of distilling basically anything with fermentable sugar, with varying follow, including William Terrington’s Cooling Cups and Dainty Drinks (1869),
degrees of success, as contemporary accounts will confirm. Punch was a form of Harry Johnson’s Bartender’s Manual or How to Mix Drinks of the Present Style
self-defense, not only for one’s immune system, but also one’s taste buds, throat, (1882), Charles S. Mahoney’s The Hoffman House Bartender’s Guide - How to Open
and gut. a Saloon and Make it Pay (1905), etc. ad infinitum.

3 This is the age of our most enduring cocktails: the Manhanttan, the Martini, the
Whiskey Sour, the Old Fashioned (technically), the Negroni (slips in right at the
While we’re here, and since we gave the cocktail’s etymology such a thorough end). It is also the age of the mostly forgotten: the Crusta, the Smash, the Sangaree,
airing, we might as well undertake a quickie for punch, if only to be a spoilsport the Negus, the Champarelle, the Scaffa, the American Velvet, the Fiscal Agent, the
(which, incidentally, is the only sport in which I ever showed promise). You will Moral Suasion, the Angel’s Tit, the Black Stripe, and the once-omnipresent Sherry
hear it oft repeated that the word “punch” comes from the Hindi word paunch, Cobbler (you’ve heard of it, but have you ever had one?).
meaning five—the number of ingredients in a proper punch (spirit, citrus, sugar,
water, spice). This theory has a lot going for it: punch was first popularized in Prohibition
India, by Englishmen in the employ of the British East India Company,3 and it 1920-1933
usually did contain five ingredients. John Fryer, an English physician working
for the company, promoted this etymology in a letter home, which was written Well, this sucked. Many of our best and brightest American bartenders packed up
in 1676, then published in 1698. Damn, first-hand account; doesn’t get much their pony glasses and fled to more enlightened countries: some to England, some
more primary source than that, which is why it’s been regarded as (mostly) to France, more than a few to Cuba. Those who stayed were often forced to work
unimpeachable for the past 300 years. with an every-shrinking palette of poorly produced (and occasionally dangerous)
ingredients in poorly-provisioned (and often dangerous) speakeasies.
That said, at least one subeditor at the Oxford English Dictionary (heard of it?)
cast doubts as early as 1907. For starters, there’s no evidence that Indians—you That said, this period wasn’t all bad. For one thing, the cocktail may have grown
know, the people who actually speak Hindustani—were drinking punch. Why up in the United States, but it almost certainly wasn’t born here, and it started
would the English borrow a foreign word to describe what is, almost certainly, their sneaking out as soon as it could tie some sheets together. It’s a predictably
own creation? To be clear, English traders at the time were not generally *ahem* American tendency to imagine the rest of the world just stopped turning because
sensitive types. They were not in India to embrace the culture They would not, we had some shit to work out. Even before the infusion (invasion?) of escaping
later in life, hang prayer flags from their dorm room window (that, embarrassingly, American bartenders, other countries already had some damn fine bartenders of
was me). They were there to plunder resources and make money. Furthermore, their own. Then, as now, we didn’t have a monopoly on talent. Furthermore, even
“punch” was already well-established in contemporary English slang, meaning in America, a lucky few among those who remained continued to preside over
(among other things) “thick and short.” Hmm, sounds like a bowl. well-managed, though illicit, drinking establishments with a respectable selection
of smuggled spirits. Purveyors of forbidden fruit—especially those with Tommy
Is this death for the paunch theory? No, but I love a wet blanket, and this one is at guns—suddenly had the resources to move mountains. If you lived in a major city,
least moist. Moving on.4 and you could afford it, a good cocktail could still be found in America; it wasn’t
all bathtub gin.

Speaking of which, I think far too much is made of Prohibition’s enduring

deleterious effects on the American cocktail, specifically the way in which it
allegedly introduced sickly sweet mixers to the otherwise staid and dour profession
of bartending, as a way to mask the foul taste of poorly-made hooch. This is
not completely without merit, the hustlers behind Coca-Cola made out like

1 There’s little doubt that punch predates the cocktail by some years, likely a century or more. The first known mention (sans recipe or definition) appears in
1632. The first definition appears shortly after in 1638.
2 Interestingly, punch may have also came into the world as a preventative for scurvy aboard English naval vessels, or at least a more interesting way of
ingesting the citrus juice provisioned to combat it. The best medicine really is medicine.
3 Popularized, but possibly not invented. A strong case can be made for British sailors being the genuine masterminds behind punch, but that’s a story for
another book (a book which has already been written; see next footnote)
4 For more information on the truly fascinating history of the flowing bowl, I implore you to read Dave Wondrich’s annoyingly perfect Punch (2010)
5 Contact me for information on unpaid internship opportunities. In addition to bartending, it does involve a little proofreading and the occasional coffee
run. Okay, it’s mostly getting coffee. It’s getting coffee.

24
bandits, from teetotalers and scofflaws alike, but it was hardly an unprecedented that many of these recipes are known today.
development. As mentioned above, this was likely part of the origin story of the
cocktail’s (step)father, punch. Using strong flavors to mask rough spirits was Among these imitators, none was more successful (or influential or innovative) than
nothing new, nor was having a little fun with the good stuff. We were creating Victor Bergeron, or, as he’s more popularly known, Trader Vic. Shortly after visiting
sweet drinks before Prohibition and we’ll keep creating them long after you and the newly reopened Don the Beachcomber in 1937, Victor approached Beach with
I are dead and gone. If drinking a Brandy Alexander is wrong, you will find me a business proposal: let’s franchise this bitch. Though Don the Beachcomber would
gladly sipping them in hell. eventually become a popular chain of restaurants, with sixteen locations in the
United States and more abroad, Donn gave Victor the cold shoulder. Well, if you
This theory also unfairly dismisses some of the greatest creations of the era as can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em. After a quick trip to the West Indies for a little liquid
hatchet jobs, simply made to cover up turpentine hooch. For starters, many of research, Victor retrofitted his modestly successful Oakland bar, Hinky Dinks (at
the cocktails created, or at least popularized, during Prohibition were made the time decorated to evoke an Alaskan hunting lodge). He did so with the help of
outside of America. Sure, $8,000 of tiki merch, purchased from Don the Beachcomber. Yeah. Though Vic
Americans were drinking would initially crib a few recipes—to the best of his ability at least—from Donn
them, both at home and Beach, he eventually began to develop a mixological spirit of his own, that would
abroad, and I suppose a case become equally, if arguably not more, important to tiki’s enduring legacy.
could be made that American
palates of the time, even those that made We should take a moment here to discuss what was actually being served in these
occasional excursions to Havana or Paris, had been corrupted ‘tiki palaces,’ as they would come to be known: Caribbean-inspired drinks but
by the speakeasy and tended towards the cloying. I would—and Cantonese-inspired food, all with Polynesian-sounding names, in a fantastical
have—given ear to such an argument, but only with a drink in South Seas-inspired setting. Yes, it was a hodgepodge, but for the glitterati of
hand and in the company of friends. I still think it’s too cute by half; a clever bit of Hollywood, by then accustomed to more than a little artistic license when other
cocktail chatter that isn’t fully supported by the evidence. Eventually, I finish that cultures where involved, exoticism, not accuracy, was the name of the game.
drink and—now a bit wiggly—proceed to being a killjoy e.g., “well, actually...” Polynesia had the public’s fascination but, unfortunately, no real cocktail culture
Let’s take a look at a few of those cocktails [stands on table]: This is the age of the to rob. This is where the islands of the Greater and Lesser Antilles come in, which
Last Word, the Corpse Reviver No. 2, the Sidecar, the El Presidente, the White had cocktail culture in spades. Unfortunately, after years of American excursions
Lady, the Bee’s Knees, the French 75, the Hanky Panky. If you regard any of to the Caribbean for a decent drink, they were no longer appropriately exotic.9
these as less than well-balanced and inspired, you should get your tongue checked Why Chinese food? Well, it was around, at least in major cities and a few lucky
(okay, I have mixed opinions about the El Presidente, but it’s hardly hiding from suburbs; alien enough to shoehorn into the theme, but not so unfamiliar as to be
the base spirit). Admittedly, this is also the age of the aforementioned Brandy unpalatable.
Alexander (indulgent but lovely), and the Mary Pickford (garbage; seriously, what
were we thinking?). There’s a few in every family. Don't judge the lot because of a For his part, Donn Beach got many of these influences first hand. The fact that
few weird cousins (please). he was extremely well-traveled is not disputed. That said, many of the details of
his early life are difficult to establish conclusively. Donn treated his life story as he
More silver linings: 1.) This era is largely to thank for making drinking co-ed. treated his cocktails: perpetually in need of embellishment and revision. We can
Before the Volstead Act, bars were mostly male-only. Speakeasies and house be reasonably confident that he first visited the Caribbean on his grandfather’s
parties: not so much. 2.) It’s also responsible for introducing American palates to yacht at the age of seven, and then annually thereafter. A few years later, during
spirits other than American whiskey and applejack. Understandably, not only did Prohibition, the pair would become rum-runners together (though he never told
domestic hooch production dry up considerably, what was being produced was... his mother). At the tender age of eighteen (but maybe as late as twenty), Ernest
not great. Smuggled English gin, Mexican tequila, and Caribbean rum was a much took the money his father had given him to attend college (but maybe the money
better (and safer) bet. 3.) Moonshiners in the southern states started modifying he himself had earned working at his mother’s boarding house) and instead circled
their cars to outrun lawmen. Eventually, they started racing each other for street the globe twice, over the period of two years, visiting much of Asia, Africa, and
(well, dirt road) cred. Welcome to the birth of NASCAR. ⚐ South America, but falling especially hard for the South Seas, specifically Hawaii.
After a few more years of crewing around on merchant vessels, visiting the islands
Tiki of Polynesia as often as possible, and collecting artifacts along the way, he ended up
1934-1975 in Los Angeles. Once there, he became both a South Seas consultant for the silver
screen and, allegedly, a bootlegger for mobster Tony Cornero; apparently, knowing
As soon as Prohibition ended, tiki began. It was the confluence of several elements: how to string a lei together wasn’t really paying the bills. When Prohibition ended,
For starters, a growing taste for rum, encouraged not only by American bartenders he found himself with a head full of recipes from the Caribbean, a shed full of
pouring from smuggled bottles stateside, but also by the many holidays Americans South Seas swag, and a bed full of rum (okay, I don’t know where he kept the rum,
were taking to friendlier locales, such as Cuba.6 Once there, they would be greeted but it rhymed with head and shed). He did the obvious thing.
(again and again) by the ambrosial Caribbean trinity of rum, lime, and sugar—
mixed by titans such as Constantino Ribalaigua Vert, Eddie Woelke (American), Donn did not simply translate the cocktails of Cuba, Jamaica, Martinique,
and Jose Abeal y Otero (aka “Sloppy Joe”). The United States was also fully in the Barbados, and Haiti into American vernacular. That would imply a dumbing-
throes of The Great Depression by this point; temporary escape to a tropical oasis, down, or a whitewashing (which he certainly did with Cantonese food, but we’ll
especially one located in a landlocked suburb, was worth spending a couple dollars, get to that). He went the other direction: adding complexity, and doing so with a
even when dollars were as scarce as hen’s teeth. A few years in, the movement deep appreciation for, and understanding of, the distinctive variations that make
would be further supercharged by American GIs returning from the battlefields rums from different islands excitingly unique from one another. He then layered
of the Pacific Theater with a (somewhat skewed and morbid) fascination with the them, often three at a time in a single cocktail, to create harmonies on the palate.
South Seas. A deep, rich overproof Guyanese demerara rum might be called up to sing bass;
a lightly aged Puerto Rican rum stands in the middle of the stage and sings the
Enter: Ernest Raymond Beaumont-Gantt, or, as he’s more popularly known, melody; an assertive and funky Jamaican rum belts a solo, but never overshadows
Donn Beach,7 who opened Don’s Beachcomber Café in Hollywood, CA sometime the band (this the base of a Zombie, by the way). As far as we can tell, Beach was
in early 1934 (some claim it was opened on repeal day—Dec. 5, 1933—but I’ve the first to do this, and it’s nothing short of art. He often did the same layering
not been able to corroborate this with a primary source). Located in the cramped trick with the sour and sweet elements of the cocktail, combining multiple fruits
corner of a hotel lobby on McCadden Place, Don’s was an instant success, and juices with infused syrups and alternative sweeteners like honey or falernum. He
quickly outgrew itself. In 1937, they moved to a larger space across the street, used this method to create some of our most beloved tiki classics: the Nui Nui, the
changing the name of the establishment to Don the Beachcomber. They were Pearl Diver, the Puka-Puka, the Shark’s Tooth, the Dr. Funk, the Three Dots & a
serving 600 guests on a weeknight, add another 300 for Friday and Saturday. Dash, the Test Pilot, the Cobra’s Fang.
Many more locations would follow.
Trader Vic’s cocktails, like the man himself, were often (though not invariably) a
Hundreds of imitators sprung up seemingly overnight. Eventually, Gantt got so little more direct. For one thing, he wasn’t nearly as well-traveled, not by a long
tired of his bartenders being poached, sometimes by bars even going by the name shot. Remember that trip to the Antilles I mentioned earlier? That was his first
Beachcomber, he started writing his recipes in code, using a system of pre-mixed time out of the country. He did eventually make it to the islands of the South
syrups and juices. It’s largely thanks to the tireless efforts of Jeff “Beachbum” Berry8 Seas, and wasn’t terribly impressed.10 In any case, he didn’t have the knowledge or

6 At its Prohibition peak, Havana Harbor was welcoming nearly 3,000 American visitors per day.
7 Though I’ve not been able to track down a definitive date, sometime presumably post-1933, Ernest did legally change his name to Donn Beach. This is
confirmed by the fact that his second and third wives took the name Beach (after their divorce, ex-wife #2 began going by the name Carla Beachcomber). In addition
to being a name more befitting his character and personality, it has been suggested that he may have wanted to distance himself from the (allegedly) eponymous
speakeasy he (allegedly) ran during Prohibition: Ernie’s Place.
8 For more information on the long, fascinating, and sometimes infuriating history of tropical drinks, grab a copy of his staggeringly well-researched Potions of
the Caribbean (2014)
9 Polynesia, on the other hand, was literally still being discovered. As late as 1930, first contact is still being made with remote tribes in the Solomon Islands.
Thanks to the sensationalist—though not entirely baseless—reports of expeditions to places like Fiji, New Guinea, and Samoa (thanks, Margaret Mead) are popularly
regarded as luridly-humid pleasure coves where cannibalism is followed by causal sex. I would wait in line for this bar.
10 “Here all these years I’ve been promoting South Seas cuisine and South Seas products, and I go there and see it for myself, and it rains all the time and the
girls have bad teeth and the food is crummy and I can’t wait to leave. It’s the pits. It’s a boil on the ass of creation that place, I’ll tell ya!” This according to a personal
conversation reported by Barnaby Conrad in his book, Name Dropping (1994).

25
appreciation Donn had for rum. But Victor, a French extraction with an abiding After losing stateside rights to the name “Beachcomber” in his first divorce,
love of cuisine, did have a fine palate, and the willingness to experiment in ways Donn Beach took the show to Hawaii, which had not yet achieved statehood and
that would have seemed ridiculous if he’d known any better; for instance: mixing was therefore fair game. Once there, he opened three additional restaurants, in
spirit bases from different families, such as he does in the Scorpion (rum and addition to the International Marketplace in Waikiki, the Pioneer Inn on Maui,
cognac) or the Fog Cutter (rum, cognac, gin, and sherry!). He also wasn’t afraid and the Waiakea Village in Hilo. Imagine this, for a moment, from the perspective
to break up the holy trinity, often preferring the clean and unobtrusive acidity of of a native Hawaiian present at the time, perhaps someone even employed at one
lemon juice rather than the distinctive flavor of lime. Though initially mimicking of Beach’s new ventures: your island was colonized and plundered, not just of its
other bartenders such as Donn and Constantino,1 with riffs such as the Tortuga, natural resources, but its cultural artifacts, both physical and intellectual. Now
he did eventually come into his own with creations like the Siboney, the Voodoo your iconography—some of which bearing immense cultural, social, and religious
Grog, and the Tiki Bowl. He was also the first to put drinks in tiki mugs and significance—after having been sexed-up, whitewashed, remixed, and then
communal bowls. He also probably invented crab rangoon; I can forgive a lot of combined with some completely made-up shit for good measure, has come home
character flaws—and he had them in spades—based off that alone. Oh, and one to roost. You’re now serving rich white folks geographically dubious cold drinks,
b-side you’ve probably never heard of: the Mai Tai. with names like Cannibal Grog, in the heads of gods and ancestors. You could be
forgiven for holding a grudge. So could your children. So could your children’s
Yup, the most popular tiki cocktail of all time belongs to upstart copycat, Victor children. This is one of many examples. I won’t pretend to understand the length
Bergeron. You’d think due to its popularity that it wouldn’t be so difficult to get a and breadth of the debate, but I know enough to say it’s complicated.
decent one, but the years have been unkind. Donn Beach went to his grave claiming
Vic had stolen it from him, even going so far as to sue the man for intellectual Do I think tiki4 can survive its reckoning? I hope so. Its roots were fed with
property infringement. He lost, and for good reason. The drink he claimed was blood and ignorance—that’s indisputable—but it bore fruit nonetheless. Its
copied, the Q.B. Cooler, was kinda similar, I guess, but not a Mai Tai. Also, these contributions to art and culture are considerable, and not only during the
were tropical drinks. It was similar in the way that all ska sounds the same, but I’d Kennedy administration. For instance, the—albeit brief—resurgence of interest
never say that to a girl with a Chelsea cut. She knows the difference. Jokes aside, if in the 1990s, while not exactly earth-shaking for cocktails, did supercharge the art
you’ve read the preceding pages, you’ve learned by now that seemingly insignificant and fashion of “lowbrow” culture—think: rockabilly, rat rods, suicide curls, naval
amendments can create entirely new cocktails, sometimes even branch out into tattoos, and all manner of 90s tiki-noir kitsch that remain a particularly important
new cocktail families: Manhattan->Martinez->Martini->Appletini). jet black thread in the rich and stupid and messy tapestry of American culture,
specifically Americana.
Victor also had a pretty plausible origin story, mostly because there was nothing
outlandish or overtly self-mythologizing about it. He had some friends in town, Some modern tiki luminaries, like Jeffy Berry, Don Lee, Shelby Allison, Paul
visiting from Tahiti, so he pulled down a nice bottle of seventeen-year J. Wray & McGee, and Chockie Tom, to name just a few, are moving tiki in new, and more
Nephew Jamaican rum (disco shit) and mixed up something simple but special. He thoughtful directions, some through education about the cultural influences of
says in Trader Vic’s Bartender’s Guide, Revised (1972) that he was really just trying tiki, others through novel evolutions of the entire conceptual framework.
to stay out of the way and let the rum shine.2 Upon giving the drink to his friends,
who would sign sworn affidavits corroborating this account during the trial, they The Dark Ages
signaled their approval by saying “maita’i,” Tahitian vernacular for “awesome.” 1976-1987
You’d think that Donn, after so many years of other people taking credit for the
Zombie, would be a little more gracious, but I suppose the jealously got to him. I’ll be the first to admit, this is an unfair title for the era, kinda. In that way
Donn Beach created the genre goddammit, and Vic Bergeron was beating him at it is not dissimilar to the actual Dark Ages (most modern historians agree they
it. Trader Vic’s would end up having twenty-five location and the Mai Tai was now weren’t actually that bad, comparatively, though they did have the Black Death;
synonymous with tiki. If it was any consolation to Beach—I expect not—pretty we got the Harvey Wallbanger, so who’s the real loser?). That said, there was
much every other bar owner in America also claimed ownership of the Mai Tai. As not a discernible driver of cocktail culture, not professionally anyway. Because of
to be expected, Victor did not take this lying down. As late as 1976, as the sun was this, both the palette, and the palate, shrank considerably; our product choices
setting in the west on tiki, he was still railing in Helluva Man’s Cookbook: were few, and few bar-goers wanted them anyway. This was the age of sex, drugs
(mostly cocaine), and disco, immediately followed by the age of sex, drugs (mostly
We originated this drink; A lot of bastards all over the country have cocaine), and synth-pop. We drank cocktails, but they were a vehicle for the
copied it and copyrighted it and claimed it for their own. I hope they night’s attractions, not the attraction itself, and tended towards the
saccharine and neon. If there was a professional influence on cocktail
get the pox. They’re a bunch of lousy bastards for copying my drink.
culture, it came in the form of T.G.I. Friday’s which, in 1986, hosted
the first national flair bartending competition. The pageantry, not
Tiki remained an integral part of the American zeitgeist, not just in cocktails, but
the product, had become the point. To be fair, you could still get a
in fashion, decor, architecture, art, and music for decades. But by the mid-1970s,
decent Sazerac or Ramos Gin Fizz in New Orleans, but most of us
the fantasy was flickering out. Two decades into a war—one we were losing this
were not in New Orleans.
time—the country was no longer interested in escaping to somewhere else; we just
wanted to come home. By the time the last soldier returned from Vietnam, tiki was
There’s one part of cocktail culture that flourished during this
officially tacky; your father’s version of culture; just another thing to rebel against.
time period that is often overlooked: home entertaining. In fact,
One by one, the palaces closed. Faux-Polynesian decor left the swank apartments
the University Library at Virginia Tech, as part of their special
and corner offices of the ’50s and ’60s, and became a hallmark of the trailer parks
collections on cocktail history (yes, this is a thing), catalogs this
and retirement homes of the ’70s. The Hawaiian shirt would be mothballed
time period as “The Age of Entertaining” (which also includes
for a less-cynical day. That day would eventually come with the opening of San
tiki but we’ll get there). If you recall my jeremiad from the
Francisco’s Smuggler’s Cove in 2009, followed by Chicago’s Three Dots and a Dash
Preface, this is what I was talking about. Cocktails in bars
in 2013. Tiki was back.3
may have been over-sexed candy, but at home folks were
···‒ still pouring after dinner drinks, making punch, showing off
their scotch collection. Cookbooks at the time would regularly
I must take a moment now to discuss recent controversies surrounding tiki culture, include a cocktail section. Booze brands, keen to capitalize on the
aesthetics, and iconography—which were, quite clearly, the result of hamfisted dinner party trend, took to printing promotional booklets and
theft and often unflattering caricatures (I am notably not using “appropriation,” a pamphlets full of recipes for the home bartender. This drift homeward
word the has been over-employed to the point of meaninglessness). Whatever your certainly began during the heyday of tiki. In fact, we still see remnants
feelings, one cannot discuss the history of modern cocktails without mentioning of “backyard Polynesian,” every time a suburban cookout erupts into
tiki. A progressive society can, and must, confront difficult parts of its past. I stop “limbo!”5 Now it’s a luau. Shut up, Stephanie, it’s a luau. By the ’70s and ’80s, it
short of the desire to completely abolish everything that reached the present day had become an act of self-defense.
by way of one human being unkind to another, because that encompasses quite
a lot. This happened, it was unfair and stolen, but it’s here now, and so tightly But there were a few lights in the darkness. Jones’ Complete Barguide (1977) is
woven into our shared experience as to be inextricable. I don’t, for one, believe the still considered by many bartenders to be one of the finest bartending tomes ever
answer lies in throwing the zombie out with the bathwater. For other examples of written. Compiled over the period of three years, and then self-published, the guide
this see: rock and roll, America. That said, if you think the scandal is completely comprises 500 pages—including over 4,000 recipes—with extensive information
overwrought, consider the following: on the history and production methods of distilled spirits, deep-dives into specific
producers, and a treasure trove of cocktail lore. As others have mentioned, this

1 To Victor Bergeron’s credit, he did reportedly ask Constantino Ribalaigua Vert, during his visit to La Florida in Havana, for permission to use some of the
cocktail recipes in the bar’s souvenir booklet at his establishment back home. Constante, ever accommodating (don’t get me started on the abuse the Daiquiri suffered
at the behest of Ernest Hemingway), allowed that he could. No such permission was asked of Donn Beach.
2 After years of stubbornly making this drink with just rum, lime, curaçao, and orgeat, I finally took Vic’s prescription and cut the orgeat with a little bit of
simple syrup. The result was a revelation. The drink, which had never really appealed to me because it just tasted like orgeat, was suddenly a thing of beauty. Victor had
a gift for whispering loudly. Sometimes less really is more.
3 There was a little flare up of interest in the ’90s, but it was mostly a false alarm. We did get Big Bad Voodoo Daddy out of it though.
4 Many have taken issue with the word “tiki.” Originally, the name of the first man in Maōri mythology, it’s unclear how it became associated with the
cocktail movement. Some have taken to calling their bars “tropical,” out of deference. While I think this is certainly a thoughtful gesture, I think it misses the mark, as
they’re not quite synonymous. The Daiquiri is a tropical cocktail, the Tortuga is not; it is tiki. Let’s call a duck a duck, even if it rhymes with fuck.
5 Which technically originated in the Caribbean, but we’re handing out jaywalking tickets during a zombie apocalypse at this point

26
was clearly written for the professional bartender; likely an evolution of actual bar It 1986—Aurora opens and becomes a small-scale testing ground for what comes
guides the enigmatic author, Stan Jones, had produced over the years for working next. It’s 2024—the author switches back to past tense.
bartenders. The recipes are sparse, taking a functional knowledge of cocktails as a
given. Want to get your hands on one? Good luck. It’s been long out of print and On December 29, 1987 (many list it as 1988, but not quite) Joe Baum reopened
the remaining copies are jealously hoarded by bartenders. Occasionally one pops the opulently renovated Rainbow Room on the sixty-fifth floor of Rockefeller
up on auction, but prices are getting silly. Center. Dale’s cocktail program was ambitious, to say the least: all fresh juice, Kold
Draft ice, no soda guns, and a stand-alone cocktail menu (revolutionary at the
But on the home front, I would like to, again, throw my support behind Playboy’s time) of twenty-nine cocktails, nearly all of them classics and rediscovered gems.8
Host & Bar Book (1971), and the myriad updates and spin-offs that ensued. It The cocktail renaissance had begun, but after such a long hibernation, the bear
was written by Playboy’s longtime resident food & drink editor, Thomas Mario, took its time crawling out of the cave. It would be a decade before Dale’s influence
the nom de plume of seasoned chef and culinary writer, Sidney Aptekar. At 340 really started to take hold. In the meantime—1993 to be exact—Angel’s Share
pages, containing nearly 800 recipes, including detailed advice on everything from opened in the East Village of Manhattan while nobody was looking.
shaking technique to wine cellar design to the intricacies of hosting an après-ski
fête, the publication makes a respectable attempt to be comprehensive (and a full 1
six years before Stan Jones, I might add). As the title suggests, this is not a book
for professional bartenders, but for private hosts. As Thomas says pointedly in We need to take a moment here to talk about Japanese bartending. As we’ve
his Introduction, “[t]his desire for knowing how to combine fine food and drink already discussed at length, the modern cocktail is a Western invention. That said,
has grown from the isolated hobby of a few to a basic part of every man’s liberal its history in the East, particularly Japan, is considerable. In 1853, Commodore
education.” Playboy played no small part in this. They put Thomas on the payroll Matthew Perry (no relation, I checked) of the United States Navy, sailed into Tokyo
in their first year of operation, and just a few short years later he released The harbor to force an end to Sakoku [locked country], Japan’s 250-year period of
Playboy Gourmet (1961), which would flip the script on men in the kitchen. A imposed isolation from the West. By 1860,9 the first Western-style bar had opened
real man, in Mario’s view, could not only whip up an omelette if called upon, in Yokohama. To be clear, this was hardly a cocktail bar. It was presided over by
he could also decant a bottle of old Barolo, shake up a Casa Blaca, and mix a the captain of a Dutch sailing vessel, and visited almost entirely by more sailors
respectable batched cocktail for an “indoor picnic,” to go with the vicchyssoise and and other rough numbers. Both staff and clientele were exclusively foreign and
cold chicken Jeanette. When I say “back in the days when men were men” (a phrase exclusively male (while not explicitly prohibited, women apparently gave the place
which I’ve literally never said), this is what I’m talking about. a wide berth). In between bouts of fighting (sometimes involving gunplay) and
raucous bar games (sometimes involving gunplay), Western liquor was consumed
For Mario, the home bartender is not simply a jejune version of a “real” bartender neat.
(e.g., working professional). Again, from his Introduction: “In the art of mixing
drinks, the author assumes that the accomplished amateur will often outshine his In 1890 Louis Eppinger, a German bartender who had made a name for himself in
professional counterpart when it comes to originality and enthusiasm.” I couldn’t San Francisco, took over the bar at the considerably more patrician Grand Hotel,
agree more. It’s why I wrote this book. also in Yokohama. Western cocktail culture had arrived in Japan, disseminating
slowly at first through Eppinger’s Japanese disciples, before coming into full bloom
Okay, one more for the road. in the café culture of 1920s Tokyo, specifically in the trendy Ginza district. It is
during this time that the first Japanese cocktail books were published. The very
The first cocktail book that I ever encountered—the one which likely changed the first, Kakuteru: Kongō-Shu-Chō Gōhō [Cocktails: Mixed Drink Recipes] (1924)
trajectory of my life—was printed during this period. The Art of Mixing Drinks was written by none other than Tokuzō Akiyama, imperial chef to both Emperor
(1982) by Esquire (yes, the magazine) was a pocket-sized update of their seminal Taishō and later Emperor Shōwa (who you may know as Hirohito). Akiyama had
Esquire Drink Book (1956).6 It was lent to me by a college friend who had been lived and worked in the West for many years, including under Auguste Escoffier
to “bartending school” (which I found extremely impressive at the time). I read it in Paris. He continues to be a celebrity in Japan.10 Though multiple editions were
during my shift at the campus library that night, in preparation for a cocktail party published within months of the first, it appears to have enjoyed a relatively short
I would host in the coming days—a surprise for my girlfriend at the time, Mad print life. It was never translated into English and existing editions are exceedingly
Men themed (it was college in the aughts, give me a break). The book contained scarce; I am aware of only 3 known copies worldwide.
recipes, sure, but also eloquent and provocative essays about spirits, hangovers, and
the purpose of life (spoiler: enjoy it). I was entranced. The second, Kokuteeru (1924), published only a month later, has enjoyed
considerably more success, and has even been very recently (2022) translated into
Fast forward a little over a decade later, Esquire names my bar one of the top English. The author, Yonekichi Maeda, was a 27 year old unknown bartender,
twenty-seven in the country. A younger version of myself—an aimless English working at a restaurant in Yotsuya, Tokyo called Café Line. One of his creations,
major (and hopeless romantic) in a library—did somersaults in my heart that day. the Line Cocktail, is what drew me to Maeda in this first place—by way of
Amanda Schuster’s spectacular book, Signature Cocktails (2023). One reason that
P.S. The party was sick. has been suggested for its continued popularity was Maeda’s usage of systematic
P.P.S. I married that girl. Western-style recipes construction (1/2 oz this, 2 dashes that, etc.), whereas all
P.P.P.S. Just kidding; we broke up, but not because of the party (see “P.S.”). of Akiyama’s cocktails, it is claimed, are explained in paragraph form. I have an
untranslated scan11 of Akiyama's book that suggests otherwise, but it's a fourth
Renaissance edition. Maybe Akiyama was copying Maeda (or someone else) by that point. In
1988-present any case, Akiyama included drawings; Maeda does not. Guess which one I prefer?
Nearly all of Maeda’s cocktails are a very kawaii one ounce though.
It’s 1988—the year that I am born. The Dark Ages are over. You’re welcome. Okay,
(づ￣ ³￣)づ ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡
I mostly chose it because of Dale DeGroff, but anyway. To tell his story properly,
I’ll need to back up a bit.
Anyway, here’s where it gets weird: Kokuteeru contains nearly 30 cocktails that
would not appear in print in the West until the publication of Harry Craddock’s
It’s 1969—An aspiring actor from Rhode Island lands in New York City (it’s Dale
The Savoy Cocktail Book (1930), a full six years later. More curiously: some of them
DeGroff, by the way). He gets a job in the mailroom of an advertising agency that
are plainly Harry Craddock originals. No one can convince me that the Japanese
counted among its clientele legendary restaurateur, Joe Baum (Four Seasons, The
are not capable of time travel. Inuyasha is not manga, it’s history.
Tavern on the Green, and later: The Rainbow Room and Windows on the World).
It’s 1973—Dale begins working for Joe at Charley O’s in Rockefeller Center, first
You may have missed it, but consider how cocktail culture was doing in America at
as a waiter, then as a bartender for offsite events (which the union guys never
the time: it wasn’t. We were balls deep into the Noble Experiment.12 Point is, our
wanted). It’s 1978—Dale moves to Los Angeles and begins tending bar at the
dark ages weren’t their dark ages. They had their own, to be sure—World War II
Hotel Bel-Air. It’s 1984—Dale returns to New York7 to help Joe Baum create a
comes to mind—but by the early 70s, when we were busy seeing how much heavy
Golden Age inspired cocktail menu at upscale French restaurant Aurora. He is
cream we could fit into a martini glass, Masaaki Wada was chiseling perfect spheres
instructed to acquire a copy of Jerry Thomas’ The Bar-Tender’s Guide (1862). It’s
out of crystal-clear ice at bar Hamayu in Niigata and Kazuo Uyeda was perfecting
been out of print since 1928, but he finds a copy (without the aid of the internet).

6 Basically a condensed version of the original, the advice and recipes still lean very mid-century. Take this recipe for The Byrd—which, mind you, is listed as
a cocktail (and, apparently, a single serving): “Fry six rashers of fat bacon. When done add one pint of good rum. Eat the bacon and drink the syrup.” This is going on
my next cocktail menu.
7 Recollections differ here. Even Dale himself has previously said it wasn’t until 1986 that he returned to New York. Aurora opens in January of 1986, so this
seems unlikely. I can’t recall the exact month when I moved to San Diego—which was sometime this year—so I will refrain from judging recollections that predate my
existence.
8 Dale would eventually reduce the number to a more manageable 16, requiring an extremely costly reprint of the Milton Glaser designed menus.
9 This is also the year of the first Japanese diplomatic mission to America. To commemorate the occasion, Jerry Thomas—then head bartender at the
Metropolitan hotel, where the delegates were staying—created the Japanese Cocktail. He would publish the recipe two years later in The Bar-Tender’s Guide. Heard
enough about that book yet?
10 In 1979, a novel was written based on his life: Tennō no Ryōriban [English version: The Emperor’s Cook]. It has since been adapted into a film and a
television series, with an award-winning remake as recently as 2015.
11 Thanks to Michael Weisenberg Ph.D., Director of the Irvin Department of Rare Books and Special Collections, University of South Carolina Libraries.
12 Now the name of a legendary cocktail bar in San Diego. Suck it, Carrie Nation (which is also the name of a cocktail bar in Boston, and a queer DJ duo in
New York)

27
the Japanese “hard shake”1 technique as manager and chief bartender of Bar l’Osier jazz because he liked jazz. Though he would, with future ventures, participate in
at Shiseido Parlor. By the 1990s, Japanese bartenders were consistently winning the juggernaut that became the faux-speakeasy movement, he resented the moniker
International Cocktail competitions. Okay, back to Angel’s Share. when applied to M&H.

✿ There was no menu. Bartenders­—initially, just Sasha—would ask a few questions

and then make you something, usually a classic or a riff on a classic. The “bartender’s
Opened quietly by mysterious (read: tremendously shy) Japanese hospitality choice” is a calling card of modern cocktail bars, but it was unheard of at the time.
mogul Tadao “Tony” Yoshida, Angel’s Share introduced New Yorkers to the subtle They would be made with precision and care: the ingredients—high quality spirits
art of Japanese bartending. Disappointed by the raucous nature and inconsistent and freshly squeezed juice—would be measured with jiggers, then shaken or stirred
products of New York bars at the time, Yoshida set out to create something more for a strictly prescribed amount of jerks or rotations, before being deposited into
refined. Rules of etiquette were posted near the door: quiet please; maximum 4 either a chilled cocktail glass or over hand-cut ice, and then delivered on a candlelit
people; no standing; no cigar or pipe; one order minimum per customer; Visa, silver tray. If any of this strikes you as mundane, it’s because they won. There’s a
Master, AmEx accepted. The soundtrack was jazz. The bartenders dressed smart. reason Metallica sounds like every other metal band: because everyone else copied
The cocktails were made with precision and care. The bar has an impressive list them. This culture of experimentation led to the creation of such modern classics
of alumni: Takuma Watanabe, who went on to open three-story Martiny’s in as the Gold Rush, Penicillin, Red Hook, Greenpoint, Left Hand, Chet Baker,
Gramercy (No.29 North America’s 50 Best Bars 2023); Shingo Gokan, who went etc. Yeah, they did okay.
on to open (also three-level, where are they finding these places?) The SG Club in
Tokyo (No.14 Asia’s Best Bars 2023; No.36 World’s Best Bars 2023); GN Chan Sasha’s protégés would carry the gospel far and wide, often with Sasha’s participation:
who went on the open Double Chicken Please on the Lower East Side of New York Joseph Schwartz with Little Branch in the West Village (2005); Toby Maloney with
(No.1 North America’s Best Bars 2023; No. 2 World’s Best Bars 2023—yes, you The Violet Hour in Chicago (2007); Eric Alperin with The Varnish in Los Angeles
read both of those right). Sadly, Angel’s Share served its last cocktail on March 31, (2009); Richard Boccato with Dutch Kills in Queens (2009); Michael Madrusan
2022, a victim of the pandemic combined with an unsympathetic landlord. But on with The Everleigh in Melbourne (2011); Sam Ross with Noble Experiment in
June 14, 2023 Erina Yoshida (yes, that’s his daughter) reopened in a new location San Diego (2011) and Attaboy, with fellow M&H alum, Michael McIlroy, in the
in the West Village, reinstalling the original imposing angel mural over the bar. original M&H location (2013); Chad Solomon and Christy Pope with Midnight
Rambler in Dallas (2014); Chris Bostick with Half Step in Austin (2014). That’s
Angel’s Share was an important and revolutionary bar in its own right, and it’s just to name a few direct descendants (this list is not exhaustive, nor does it name
not difficult to imagine a world in which it became a success purely on its own every partner); The family tree grows exponentially once we get to grandchildren2
merits. That said, the reason most of us speak of it today is in relation to one its and great-grandchildren.
early regulars.
Unfortunately, Sasha’s blueprint would be replicated so many times—particularly
1 by bartenders who never knew the man—it started to lose heart and dip a little,
and then a lot, into pretension and arrogance. This is the unfortunately legacy of
Sasha Petraske was, by all accounts, a savant. Socially-awkward and a prolific (parts) of the “neo-speakeasy” movement (I refuse to call any establishment with
list maker (so, me, but smart), Sasha had excelled at the prestigious Stuyvesant a Google listing a speakeasy). Sasha’s vision was centered around hospitality, and
school—considered by many to be the best public school in the country—before not just for his guests; He paid $15 per hour for bartenders and barbacks at Milk
dropping out at the age of seventeen. After a brief and disagreeable odyssey in & Honey. Minimum wage in New York State at the time was $5.15. Even his
California—maybe for a girl, maybe for a job; reports differ—he joined the Army, list of rules, artlessly stolen and revised by grumps and prigs, was not in place to
where he trained as a Ranger. After two years he told them he was gay. He wasn’t, dissuade guests from enjoying themselves, quite to opposite: it was there to allow
but this was the age of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," and it was time for something guests—particularly single young women—to enjoy themselves, in a way they
new. Back in New York, he started tending bar on the side while sketching plans most certainly could not in most other New York bars, especially at the time. It was
for his own café. A friendly contact made him aware of a former illegal mahjong also a kindness to his sleeping neighbors. The fussiness over the drinks was also an
parlor coming up for rent in a rough neighborhood on the edge of Chinatown. act of love, not for the cocktails themselves, but for the people that were drinking
Inspired by his nights at Angel’s Share, his disappointment with the boorishness of them. He once said in an interview: “[c]ocktails are not worth intellectualizing,
contemporary New York drinking culture (seeing a trend?), and his abiding love of they are just something to be experienced.”
Jazz Age aesthetics and conventions, the café instead became a—capital C—Classic
cocktail bar. In June of 2015, Sasha married journalist Georgette Moger, who had been such a
welcome habitué in the early days of Milk & Honey (for the reasons listed above;
Milk & Honey opened for business on New Year’s Eve 1999. The timing could book in hand) that Richard Boccato created the Water Lily cocktail for her—a
not have been more appropriate: it ushered in a new age. Years later, New York personal request to evoke the violet candies she enjoyed as a child (her middle
bartender Matt Piacentini would say of the man: “If not for Sasha Petraske, we’d name is Lillian). They had their honeymoon on the Orient Express, because of
all be shaking Manhattans. Except many of us wouldn’t be bartenders, and most course they did. On August 21, 2015, a month after their return, Sasha Petraske
of our bars wouldn’t exist.” The bar was intimate. Simon Ford—the man who died of a heart attack. He was 42. The announcement was devastating not only
would practically invent the role of Brand Ambassador—was brought there by an to Sasha’s personal friends and colleagues, but to the countless bartenders who
early fan: Dale DeGroff. Ford described it as “a cupboard.” Sasha, not wanting to rightly considered him an icon of the craft. Many a cold tear were shed in walk-
draw a crowd, had decorated the front to look like a—presumably closed at that ins that day. His legacy is cemented in the global influence he has had on the
hour—tailor shop. He also quickly instituted a reservation-only policy, the phone world of hospitality. In the recollections of those who knew him, he is remembered
number for which changed regularly. The reasons for the secrecy were two-fold: equally—if not more—for his decency as a human being.
1) he wanted the time and space to take care of every guest appropriately and 2)
he didn’t want to disturb his landlord or neighbors (that part of Chinatown being One of Sasha’s daily checklists, as shared by his widow:
largely residential). It was not, as many have assumed, an artificial recreation of a
speakeasy. It was a speakeasy. Guests were actually required to speak easy. These are 1. Just because something isn’t on your mind, doesn’t mean you are not stress-
the house rules, cast in bronze and attached to the bathroom doors: ing about it.
2. This checklist habit works.
3. Large meal always = unhappy.
1. No name-dropping, no star fucking.
4. Remember rush hours when calculating travel time.
2. No hooting, hollering, shouting, or other loud behavior. 5. Eat before you’re starving.
3. No fighting, no play fighting, no talking about fighting. 6. Remember things always take longer than you think they will.
4. Gentlemen will remove their hats. Hooks are provided. 7. Handkerchief, comb, ID, cards, keys.
5. Gentlemen will not introduce themselves to ladies. Ladies, feel free 8. Always put these in the same place.
to start a conversation or ask the bartender to introduce you. If a 9. Remember cycling posture.
man you don’t know speaks to you, please lift your chin slightly and 10. Haircut every 14 days.
ignore him. 11. Turn ringer off in restaurants.
12. Remember you only dislike exercise if you’re not warmed up.
6. Do not linger outside the front door.
13. Being early is not a waste of time.
7. Do not bring anyone unless you would leave that person alone in 14. Assume things go late.
your home. You are responsible for the behavior of your guests. 15. Speech is for communication.
8. Exit the bar briskly and silently. People are trying to sleep across the 16. Remember reading posture.
street. Please make all your travel plans and say all farewells before 17. Listen, don’t interrupt people.
leaving the bar. 18. When you meet someone new, write down his or her name as soon as pos-
sible.
One could be forgiven for assuming this was a Prohibition-era affectation for the 19. Don’t let this checklist habit go.
sake of intrigue, but one would be wrong. Sasha wore wool slacks and suspenders
and brogues and newsboy caps, because that’s how he actually dressed. He played Georgette would finish the book they had started together—the only one he would
ever write. For more on Sasha’s cocktails, and his philosophy of hospitality and

1 Despite my immense respect for Japanese bartending—and that of Kazuo Uyeda in particular—I’m convinced the hard shake was created to make American
bartenders look silly. In 2010, during a rare visit to the United States, 110 New Yorkers paid $675 each to watch him demonstrate the technique. During the seminar
portion of the event, Uyeda stated, through his translator: “Nobody can do the hard shake but me.” If you’re thinking maybe this was a simple translation error, Uyeda
further enunciated his conviction in a interview with CLASS during the same visit: “There are a lot of person who copy me but there is no one else but me to do the
hard shake. The hard shake is rare technique which I only can do.” Grammar aside, that one’s difficult to misinterpret. He means it.
2 I briefly worked for Eric Alperin so I (sheepishly) include myself on this list.

28
care, I cannot recommend enough Regarding Cocktails (2016). In 2005, Julie tapped Audrey Saunders (remember her?) to open Pegu Club in
SoHo. Very long story short: it’s a fucking smash. You like having ready access
1 to Luxardo cherries and Rittenhouse bonded rye (any rye, for that matter) and a
bunch of other shit for which Saunders created mass demand and then channels of
Back to daddy: distribution? Then light a candle for Pegu Club tonight. They closed in 2020—a
victim of the pandemic (and plumbing issues and a looming rent hike)—but not
Though Dale DeGroff probably did throw some influential business Sasha’s way
before training up another batch of earth shakers, most notably: Jim Meehan,
early on—not to mention creating some of the preconditions necessary for places
who would open PDT [Please Don’t Tell]—perhaps the most well-known of the
like Angel’s Share and Milk & Honey to exist and be successful in the first place
neo-speakeasies—in the East Village (2007) and Tokyo native, Kenta Goto, who
(Dale juiced while walking so that we could juice while running, etc., etc.)—I
would open Bar Goto on the Lower East Side (2015). By this point, there was a
think it’s fair to consider Sasha an early innovator in his own right, rather than
lot of intermingling of the bloodlines: Toby Maloney and Chad Solomon would
a direct protégé of Dale, which he was not. It is my contention that Dale and
both do stints at Pegu Club after their time at Milk & Honey. Giuseppe González
Sasha are the two dads of the cocktail renaissance. Let’s go back to DeGroff for
would spend time at Dutch Kills after Flatiron Lounge, and even open a tiki
a moment; just as Sasha is laying down roots in Chinatown, Dale’s family tree is
concept with Richard Boccato called Painkiller on the Lower East Side (2010).
sprouting a new branch. Also, you could shorten his name to DaDe. Okay, I’m
The elite bartending world was—and, frankly, still is—a pretty small club. Again,
starting to see why he unfriended me on Facebook.
I’ve reached the point of exponential growth in the (now combined) family tree, so
I’m going to stop here. Well, mostly.
In 1998, after two years of failed negotiations, Joe Baum lost the lease to The
Rainbow Room. After New Year’s Eve 1998, exactly eleven years to the day of the
There are a number of influential figures who rarely get the credit they deserve
(re)opening, The Rainbow Room, once again, closed its doors.3 On or around April
for their part in the cocktail renaissance, and I don’t have the space to do them all
4 (accounts differ), 1999, Dale DeGroff—along with Baum’s partner, Arthur Emil
justice here. For starters, as I’ve said before, innovation was not the sole reserve of
and his son, David—opened a new spot in the old Aurora location: Blackbird.
the Americans. We’ve already discussed the important contributions of Japanese
Dale’s first hire was an aspiring young bartender by the name of Audrey Saunders,
bartenders during this time, but I would be remiss if I did not mention the
whom he had met while teaching a continuing education class at N.Y.U. on Jerry
renaissance that was happening in London at exactly the same time as the one we
Thomas (there he is again). After the four-hour course she asked him to be her
experienced stateside—arguably a little sooner. Dick Bradsell, in particular, holds
mentor, and said she’d work for free. Rainbow Room was unionized so that was a
outsize influence. During a stint at Zanzibar Club in Covent Garden in the late
no-go, but Dale did plenty of pro bono gigs at the mayor’s residence, as he and Joe
70s, Bradsell was gifted a copy of David Embury’s The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks
Baum were personal friends. Dale started bringing her along.4 When Blackbird was
(1948), which would become a vade mecum for the rest of his illustrious career. By
on the blackboard, she was an obvious choice.
1984, Bradsell is running Fred’s Club in Soho, promoting the use of fresh juice and
careful measures, and creating such classics as the Bramble and the Vodka Espresso
From a cocktail perspective, Blackbird was a revelation. Whereas The Rainbow
(later rechristened the Espresso Martini).5 He made perhaps his biggest mark at
Room had been pigeonholed by a narrow vision of yesterday—a gilded cage of
the eponymous Dick’s Bar, at the lavishly restored art deco Atlantic Bar & Grill off
the Golden Age, if you will—Dale and Audrey were finally able to let loose. Sure,
Piccadilly Circus. A handful of his protégés from this time—among them, Douglas
classics continued to be their pole star, but they expanded far beyond Jerry Thomas,
Ankrah (of Porn Star Martini infamy)—would go on to form the wildly-influential
and even started creating some of their own, using classics as a blueprint. Blackbird
LAB (London Association of Bartenders) in Soho, first as a training seminar in
was on the ground floor—literally and figuratively. Dale’s cocktail renaissance,
1996 and eventually as a full-fledged bar in 1999. It didn’t take long for the Brits
which had begun ten years earlier in the clouds—serving lofty people from lofty
and the Yanks to start collaborating: Milk & Honey London opened in Soho in
heights—was finally coming down to earth (ironic, given the name). Dale had
2002, a partnership between Sasha Petraske and legendary British hospitalitarian
originally insisted on an unfussy food menu—burgers and omelettes—but his
Jonathan Downey.
partners got cold feet and installed a fine dining chef last minute. This turned out
to be a mistake. William Grimes’ “Diner’s Journal” column in the June 4, 1999,
Even stateside, neither was the renaissance the sole reserve of New York. Peggy
issue of the New York Times is ebullient in its praise of Dale’s cocktail program. It
Boston opened Saucebox in Portland, Oregon in 1995, spearheading a revival of
doesn’t say anything negative about the food. This is because it doesn’t mention
cocktail creativity, with an emphasis on spirit infusions. One of Peggy’s disciples,
the food at all. For a restaurant review, in the repository of the most important
Marco Dionysus (kinda have to work in the drinks industry at that point), migrated
restaurant reviews in the world, this is probably a first. It would be a harbinger
to San Francisco to launch the bar program at splashy Absinthe Bar & Brasserie
of things to come: namely, the public’s fascination with cocktails. It also spelled
in 1997. Zig Zag Café opened in Seattle in 1999, initially serving only pizza,
the end for Blackbird. On Dec. 24, 1999—less than a year after they opened—
beer, and wine. In 2001 they decided to build a serious cocktail program, hiring
Blackbird closed. Exactly one week later, Milk & Honey opened. The cocktail
veteran bartender Murray Stenson. While flipping through Ted Saucier’s Bottom’s
world was passing the torch.
Up (1951)—a lasciviously illustrated (hence the double-entendre) bar guide that
had also been helpful to Aurora-era Dale DeGroff—Stenson rediscovered the Last
But this is Dale’s family tree. Where were we?
Word and the bar world lost its entire goddamn mind. In 2010, Stenson was
named the Best Bartender in America at Tales of the Cocktail.
In 1996, DeGroff consulted on the cocktail program for Keith McNally’s Soviet-
style Nolita vodka bar Pravda. Though not exactly world-shaking in its own right,
Even in New York, Dale and Sasha weren’t the only games in town: Toby Cecchini
a handful of those bartenders, inspired by Dale’s meticulous training, would go
created the Cosmopolitan during his time at the Odeon in 1988 (this may seem a
on to open the wildly influential Employee’s Only (2004) in Greenwich Village.
dubious recognition—he would agree—but made correctly, I will still gladly enjoy
In the late 90s and early aughts, DeGroff would regularly lead walking tours of
a couple of these with your mom). He then opened the highly esteemed Passerby
New York’s burgeoning bar scene, “Cocktail Safaris” he called ‘em. It was in this
in Chelsea in 1999 and then did a bunch of other impressive shit; guy is a legend.
way that he discovered Milk & Honey. It was also how he discovered a Hawaiian
Though he would eventually make his biggest impacts in San Francisco and Vegas,
transplant by the name of Julie Reiner, who was making waves with her culinary
in 1993 Tony Abou-Ganim was hired as the opening bartender of Pó in the West
approach to cocktails at C3 in Greenwich Village. Dale, ever the media darling,
Village, Mario Batali’s first restaurant. If you’ve ever had a surprisingly decent drink
shared his discovery with the press. In 2001, Reiner’s cocktails were covered by
at a casino, you probably have Tony to thank.
both the New York Times and New York Magazine. Not content to be overshadowed
by some upstart bartender, the chef of C3 leaned on the owners to have Julie
And, finally, let us not forget that bartenders did not do this alone: A small army
immediately fired. We all owe that chef a drink. Newly emancipated, she got to
of writers and enthusiasts—some utilizing the novel “internet”—spread the gospel
work on opening her own place. In 2003, Flatiron Lounge (guess where?) brought
far and wide. The rapid rate of dispersion and collaboration would not have been
the craft cocktails movement to a wider audience, shedding restrictive door policies
possible without them. In 1993, New York Times culture reporter and restaurant
and pioneering the use of drink batching and “cheaters” (small bottles used to store
critic William Grimes (remember him?) published Straight Up or On the Rocks: A
ingredients and lesser-used spirits) for speed and efficiency. She also began training
Cultural History of American Drink; no one cared, but it’s a start (more on this in
the next generation of bartenders, fully half of them female (another pioneering
a moment). In 1995, a day after changing his screen name to “DrCocktail” (he
move on her part). Phil Ward, who started as a barback, would later help open,
had become a respected authority on message boards and in chat rooms by that
as head bartender, Death & Co in the East Village (NYE 2006); Lynette Marrero,
point), AOL invited Hollywood graphic designer, Ted Haigh, to host the “Spirits”
with fellow Reiner protégé, Ivy Mix, would go on to start hugely-successful female
board. In 1997, British spirits wholesaler Simon Difford published the first issue
bartending tournament Speed Rack in 2011, which has, to date, raised over $1M
of CLASS, a magazine for bartenders. In 1998, Microsoft employee Robert Hess
for breast cancer research; Giuseppe González would go on to open Suffolk Arms
started DrinkBoy.com—one of the first serious cocktail blogs on the web. The
on the Lower East Side (2016). Continuing the family tree of Phil Ward alone
same year, Jeff Berry published Beachbum Berry’s Grog Log, lighting a fuse that
would take the rest of the page.
would eventually ignite a tiki revival. In 1999, David Wondrich began writing a

3 Operations passed to the Cipriani family (founders of Harry’s Bar in Venice), who have kept it on life support ever since. Public access has been sporadic.
I’ve been there. Don’t waste your time.
4 See, unpaid internships always pay off. Call me.
5 Even Bradsell’s recollection of the drink’s inception is pretty spotty, oscillating between his time at Fred’s Club and his time at Soho Brasserie. The timing
is also variously recorded as 1983 or maybe 1985 or just “the late ’80s,” though some have claimed he had made a preliminary draft for them as early as ’81. We do
know it was originally on the rocks (a serve that I, personally, prefer). Whatever the case, the story of an unnamed “famous model” asking for something that would
“wake me up, then fuck me up,” seems to me, a suspiciously good yarn. The popular assumption that this model was either Kate Moss or Naomi Campbell contradicts
Bradsell’s own recollection that the model was American (though, admittedly, she does not appear to have been so in all of his retellings). Also, Naomi Campbell was
born in 1970. Kate Moss was born in 1974. Naomi might have just squeaked through if it was, in fact, the late ’80s (18 was/is the legal drinking age in England), but
let’s go ahead and say it wasn’t Kate Moss. Well, let’s hope really hard that it wasn’t Kate Moss.

29
weekly cocktail column for Esquire magazine, in addition to building their online
drink database. In 2002, Dale DeGroff published The Craft of the Cocktail. That
same year, William Grimes updated and reissued his book, slightly altering the
subtitle: Straight Up or On the Rocks: The Story of the American Cocktail; This time,
people cared. In 2001, Simon Difford released Sauce Guide to Cocktails, though
a trademark dispute in the United States with Sauce Magazine compelled him to
change the name of later editions to Difford’s Guide. In 2003, Gary “Gaz” Regan
published The Joy of Mixology. In 2004, both Jeffrey Morgenthaler and Jamie
Boudreau began their hugely successful cocktail blogs (Jeff’s is still updated). That
same year Ted Haigh published Vintage Spirits & Forgotten Cocktails: From the
Alamagoozlum Cocktail to the Zombie. That same very busy year, The Museum of
the American Cocktail (MOTAC) was started by Dale and Jill DeGroff, Chris and
Laura McMillian, Anistatia Miller, Derek Brown, Robert Hess, Ted Haigh, Gary
Regan, David Wondrich, and other eminent members of the cocktail community
(it is currently headquartered in New Orleans, where else?). In 2005, Gaz Regan
released “Reagan’s No.6 Orange Bitters.”

That last one is huge. Let’s talk about it.

Orange bitters are called for in some of our earliest cocktails recipes. In fact, there’s
even a recipe for it in the back of Thomas’ The Bar-Tender's Guide (1862). It’s
included in many early iterations of the Martini (still a welcome addition, if you
ask me). It’s a necessary ingredient in a Satan’s Whiskers, as Ted Haigh discovered
while doing research for his book. He reached out to Fee Brothers of Rochester,
New York, which had been producing orange bitters since Prohibition, but which
had almost no direct-to-consumer distribution. In 2024, it’s difficult to imagine a
world where orange bitters aren’t ubiquitous at every cocktail bar, but that was the
case until Gary Regan and his wife Mardee, riffing on a recipe they had acquired
in Charles H. Baker, Jr.’s The Gentleman’s Companion: An Exotic Drinking Book
(1939), began whipping up versions in their kitchen. On the fourth try, they were
happy enough with the results to start thinking about commercial production. A
partnership with the chemists at The Sazerac Company of New Orleans (which
also produces Peychaud’s bitters), yielded a fifth iteration they all found very tasty.
Unfortunately, it was too tasty. You see, in these United States of America, cocktail
bitters may be sold to minors since we assume (wrongly, I might add) that, despite
the high alcohol content, the strong flavor will prevent anyone from ingesting
more than a few diluted dashes at a time (ditto: vanilla extract). The big wigs
at the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB) felt the formulation
was a little too drinkable to be sold as “non-potable” bitters. After a little more
tinkering, formulation No.6 was deemed appropriately undrinkable, and in 2005
the world had a new, readily available orange bitters. It was a hit. Likely spurred
by the success, the House of Angostura released its own in 2007 (their first new
bitters since, well, ever). For my purposes, Angostura does the trick: clean orange
flavor, not overly spiced (Regan’s) or candied (Fee Bros.). That said, it didn’t take
long for bartenders to solve those last two problem by mixing the two in equal
portions and calling it “Feegans.” Though, if I were speaking plainly (this is off the
record, right?), I think it’s more for street cred than anything else. Angostura nailed
it. Not everything needs to be a “house blend.” But cocktails are stupid and I’m
apparently the mayor of stupid mountain (well, I’m at least a treasurer or court fool
or something), so who am I to judge? TL;DR: Key takeaways

And now you know about orange bitters. Back to the timeline. 1987 - The Rainbow Room (Dale DeGroff)
1993 - Angel’s Share (Tony Yoshida)
❧ 1999 - Milk & Honey (Sasha Petraske)
2002 - The Craft of the Cocktail (Dale DeGroff)
In 2007, Dave Wondrich published Imbibe!—a breathtakingly well-researched 2003 - The Joy of Mixology (Gary Regan)
tribute to Jerry Thomas that would go on to win a James Beard Award. In 2008, 2003 - Flatiron Lounge (Julie Reiner)
Difford’s Guide initiated their (now truly massive) online presence. In 2011, Robert 2005 - Pegu Club (Audrey Saunders)
Hess married Audrey Saunders. Sheesh, power couple much? 2006 - Death & Co (Phil Ward et al.)
2007 - Imbibe! (Dave Wondrich)
The next few years saw the opening of way too many neo-speakeasies (a trend that, 2007 - PDT (Jim Meehan)
thankfully, is finally starting to die) and an avalanche of (mostly garbage) online 2007 - The Violet Hour (Toby Maloney)
cocktail content. That said, the early pretensions eventually made way for a return 2009 - The Varnish (Eric Alperin)
to the fundamentals of bartending: a human being serving another human being
something good to sip on. We dropped some of the affectation (arm garters, open Etc., etc.
disdain for vodka) and embraced time saving measures when they did not sacrifice
quality (batching, draft cocktails).1 Mostly gone are the days of needing to order 2020 - Tender Mercy (Branden von Fugate)
a drink while you wait for your drink and having to worry that said drink order 2021 - Dale DeGroff accepts my friend request on Facebook
didn’t live up to your bartender’s (often uneducated) expectations. The industry is 2022 - Dale DeGroff unfriends me on Facebook2
perfect by no means: it’s still a meat grinder for physical and mental health, and far
from equitable for women and minority groups. Nevertheless, I remain optimistic
(see above re: stupid mountain). Someone ordered a Harvey Wallbanger from me
the other day, and I was happy to make it. I made two, so my staff could give it
a try.

But let accountants worry about the “industry.” What I’m interested in these days
is home bartenders. Let’s get back to our lessons.

1 Tender Mercy has sixteen taps. Fifteen dispense signature cocktails (our entire signature menu, in fact). That last one is coffee. None are beer.
2 To be fair, my most recent post: “squirt people squirt people.”

30
 “What I did to this business, more than anything else,
is not about the drinks. I made it okay to be a bartender again,”
-Dale DeGroff
 Chapter VI

A Brief Introduction to Cocktail Theory

(The Master Recipes)
or

The First 10 Cocktails I Teach Every New Bartender

Smart people will disagree over this list, including the number of cocktails included, and which should make the cut. That’s okay. I test my trainees ten classics at a time, and this is the first group. Why?
Think of these cocktails as the ambassadors of the most important cocktail families. Together, they represent nearly all conventional recipes. Some are not the oldest members of that family, some are not
the most famous, some are not even my favorite. I chose them because they are, according to my subjective but considered opinion, the best representations of a given style. The families could certainly be
smaller, à la The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks (1948), Cocktail Codex (2018), etc., or much, much larger à la The Bar-Tender's Guide (1862), The Savoy Cocktail Book (1930), The Joy of Mixology (2003), etc.,
etc., etc., but a decet feels just right to me.

Some drinks will straddle two styles (don’t knock it ‘till you try it). For instance, does an Americano belong in the Negroni family or the Highball family? Is the Gin & It a sweet Martini or a gin
Manhattan? Who cares. They have joint custody (technically, the Americano is the Negoni’s dad, so don’t put too much weight on that metaphor). The point is, we’re not looking for root recipes here, at
least not from a historical perspective. This is a conceptual framework to help organize a very large, and very diverse, firmament of alcoholic refreshments; small enough to remember, and big enough to
fit everything without awkward bedfellows. It will also help you to create new cocktails of your own, if you ever feel so inclined.

If you really want to be a teacher’s pet, after reading this chapter, flip to Chapter IX and classify as many cocktails as you can using the provided shapes. You’ll find there are precious few orphans. If you
make a mistake, just buy a new book and start again.

The Old Fashioned - c.1798

75 ml bourbon or rye whiskey
7 ml simple syrup (1:1)
2-4 dashes Angostura bitters
1-2 dashes Angostura orange bitters (optional)
stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/orange twist for bourbon; lemon twist for rye

The Old Fashioned likely didn’t start life as a recipe, but as a method. The original definition of the cocktail, as you’ll remember from Chapter V—because you’re reading this in order, like a self-respecting adult and
not a toddler stumbling aimlessly through a coloring book (which this...isn’t?)—was “spirits of any kind, sugar, water, and bitters.” Yahtzee. Old timers likely took to ordering their cocktails “the old fashioned way”
in response to newfangled creations like the Sherry Cobbler, which had fancy garnish and other such bells and whistles. Remember, even ice was still a novelty at the time, approached with both fascination and
trepidation, for reasons including the embryonic state of dentistry at the time. This was also the epoch which saw the invention of the straw. For this reason, and others (e.g., not being an insufferable tool), being
overly pedantic about the “right way” to make an Old Fashioned is akin to telling your friends how to masturbate. Some use a sugar cube, some omit the orange bitters, some use toys, some add Sprite, some film
it. Find what works for you. Don’t hurt anyone. Cheers.

What it is: Approximately 10 parts base spirit + 1-2 parts sweetener; bitters typical but not mandatory.
Why it works: Perfect simplicity. The water tames the bite of the alcohol, while the sugar smooths the rough edges. Think of bitters as a seasoning, as salt and pepper are to food—highly concentrated enhancements
meant to elevate existing flavors, rather than bullying or masking. For a whiskey this might bring clove and caramel flavors to the fore; mezcal, think cinnamon and orange peel.
How to riff: The clever devils over at Death & Co call this the “Mr. Potato Head” method of cocktail creation. As theoretically frameworks go, it’s annoyingly good. The gist: consider the role each ingredient plays
in a given cocktail, then start substituting. Simple syrup is a sweetener. Well, so is maple syrup, so is honey, so is molasses; try those instead. Make your own syrups and try those as well. Reach for a sweet liqueur
and try that. Depending on the relative sweetness (and bitterness, acidity, etc.) of the substitute ingredient against simple syrup, you may choose to use more or less, but you get the point. Use other bitters. Use a
different spirit. Some experiments are going to be more successful than others, but as long as your cocktail isn’t wearing a nose as a hat, you’re not going to stray too far from something palatable. Every now and
again, the substitution will be a revelation (looking at you, Oaxaca Old Fashioned). And once in a blue moon, a nose looks pretty fucking good as a hat (looking at you, Bitter Giuseppe—but I’m getting ahead
of myself; that’s the next cocktail family).
Notable relatives: American Trilogy, Chet Baker, Fancy Free, Ghost Story, Hey, Mint Julep, Monte Carlo, Oaxaca Old Fashioned, Sazerac

The Manhattan - c.1873

60 ml rye whiskey (bourbon if you must)
30 ml sweet vermouth
3 dashes Angostura bitters
stir/strain/nick & nora/picked cherry

Despite numerous origin stories, it’s unclear who invented the Manhattan. The most popular tales involve some glaring historical anachronisms which make them untenable. It may very well have been created
at New York’s Manhattan Club as early as 1873 (the club members, and many others, seem to think so), and there’s not a lot of good evidence suggesting otherwise. That said, it most definitely was not—as one
particularly popular theory goes—created there in service of a political banquet hosted by the mother of Winston Churchill. For one thing, at the time said banquet was supposed to have taken place, she was busy
giving birth (or convalescing shortly thereafter) to the future Prime Minister, who was, for reasons I hopefully don’t need to explain, not born in New York City.

The Manhattan makes its first known print appearance in New York’s Olean Democrat, dated September 5, 1882:

It is but a short time ago that a mixture of whiskey, vermouth, and bitters came into vogue...[i]t went under various names—Manhattan cocktail, Turf Club cocktail, and the Jockey Club cocktail

The first known recipe appears two years later in O.H. Byron’s The Modern Bartenders’ Guide. He provides two iterations: one vermouth heavy and the other an equal parts affair, with a couple dashes of curaçao for
good measure. His very next recipe is for a riff he calls the Martinez: “[s]ame as Manhattan, only you substitute gin for whisky.” Interesting.

What it is: Approximately 2 parts barrel aged base spirit + 1 part sweetened aromatised and/or fortified wine; occasional small additions of liqueurs; bitters typical but not mandatory.
Why it works: Vermouth sweetens, softens, and seasons the whiskey, while bitters provide an aromatic bridge between the two.
How to riff: As many bartenders have found over the years, this is a stunningly rewarding template. Because of its simplicity, small changes can make a big difference (Little Italy, Red Hook, Greenpoint—it’s
common practice to give riffs NYC borough or neighborhood names). Aside from altering base spirit (Rob Roy, Vieux Carré), swapping in dark amari, rich fortified wine, or herbal liqueur for all or some of the
vermouth can drastically change the expression without breaking the structure. Stay close to the ratio. Employ bitters when you need a flavor bridge or just want to modulate flavor.
Notable relatives: Adonis, Bitter Giuseppe, Black Manhattan, Bobby Burns, Brooklyn, Fanciulli, Greenpoint, Holy Mountain, Little Italy, Medium Italy, Preakness, Red Hook, Rob Roy, Teenager’s First
Cigarette, Vieux Carré

32
 The Martini - c.1906
60 ml gin (vodka if you must)
30 ml dry vermouth
stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist or picked olive

We actually do know who invented the Martini.

Just kidding, we have no idea. It may have evolved from the Martinez, or the staggeringly-similar Marguerite, first recorded in 1900. Cocktails bearing the name “Martini” are recorded as early as 1888, but they
are mostly iterations on—or identical to—the Martinez, usually equal parts affairs, containing either sweet vermouth or sweetened gin or both, in addition to a dash or two of bitters (orange and otherwise) and/or
curaçao and/or maraschino and/or anisette; in other words, only bearing a nascent resemblance to the terse and elegant swan it would eventually become. In American Bar: Recettes des Boissons Anglaises et Américaines,
published in France in 1904, Frank P. Newman records a recipe for a “Dry Martini,”specifying the use of dry vermouth, and a few dashes of Angostura or orange bitters—dealer’s choice. Unfortunately, he leaves us
high and (maybe) dry on the type of gin. London Dry styles were beginning to become fashionable, even in the United States, but the malty (and formerly ubiquitous) Holland’s gin was certainly still around, as was
lightly-sweetened Old Tom. Maybe this is our first modern Martini, maybe not. Two years later, the “Dry Martini” makes its first stateside appearance1 in Louis’ Mixed Drinks by Alsatian (the nationality, not the
canine) turned Bostonian Louis Muckensturm. In it, he calls for a couple dashes of orange bitters and one of curaçao, then one liqueur glass French (i.e., dry) vermouth and two liqueur glasses dry gin. Stir, strain,
“squeeze a small piece of lemon peel on top.” Nice to meet you, Martini. This is the world. We need you bad.

Though equal parts + orange bitters2 recipes would continue to be published regularly, by the early 1920s the modern(ish) recipe—combining dry gin and dry vermouth in a ratio of roughly 2:1, stirred and strained
into a chilled cocktail glass—was well established. Over the years, the amount of vermouth gradually decreased. By 1960, it was quite fashionable to take a comically insignificant amount of vermouth in your
Martini. It was more fashionable still to brag about how little vermouth you took in your Martini.3 Thankfully, times have changed—yet again—and we are back to a much more reasonable 2:1, 3:1, or even 3:2
ratio at most self-respecting haunts. That said, the best Martini is the one you want to drink. Let your palate, not prevailing trends, guide your choices. Take as much, or as little, vermouth as you like. Pour it into
a boot. Drink it at the bank. Rules are dumb.

What it is: Very approximately 2 parts unaged base spirit + 1 part dry aromatised and/or fortified wine; occasional small additions of liqueurs; bitters optional.
Why it works: Crisp and bracing as a winter morn, elegant and understated delivery, built for slow sipping and consideration. The experience is as much about visual aesthetics, tactile sensation, and olfaction as it is
about taste—water white translucence, subtle sheen of fragrant lemon oil, silky on the palate, the frigid bite of alcohol, perceptible all the way down; bone dry botanicals, served very cold; “not too sweet” taken to its
inevitable conclusion. And this is where I need to define some admittedly confusing terms. "Dry," in this context, means not sweet, a reference to the type of vermouth employed. It is also, somewhat confoundingly,
quite often used to reference the amount of vermouth employed. In this context, the obverse is not “sweet,” but “wet.” These days, the above recipe, with a respectable portion of vermouth, would be considered quite
wet. So yes, it’s both wet and dry (like a horny mummy). We are far from universal adoption of the following spectrum, but this is what I teach my staff, mostly for purposes of getting a precise and accurate order.
When making a drink for someone else, both at home or in a professional setting, it’s still a good idea to confirm desired amount of vermouth in plain language. Final mix remains 90 ml no matter the amount of
vermouth; base spirit always makes up the balance (e.g., a dry Martini contains 75 ml gin + 15 ml dry vermouth).

Bone Dry: no vermouth -> In & Out:4 rinse -> Extra Dry: 7 ml -> Dry: 15 ml -> Wet: 30 ml -> Fitty-Fitty: 45 ml
How to riff: This is an ideal canvas for savory applications that may be more difficult to pull off elsewhere. Infusions (scallion, vanilla bean, etc., etc., dried shrimp—yup) are an easy way to add complexity, and we’ll
do a deep dive in the next chapter. Another common tactic is to get creative with vermouth substitutes. Other dry or slightly-off-dry aromatised and/or fortified wine (fino sherry, Lillet, Bonal, etc.), sake, and even
small additions of herbal amari and liqueurs can subtly change the profile without completely breaking the mold. Putting something in a cocktail glass and adding “-tini” to the end of the name, does not a Martini
make. Among bartenders, I’m comparatively long-suffering regarding changing trends and cheap tricks, but this is where my patience runs out. It’s a Martini. Show some fucking respect.5 Nihilo sanctum estne? 6

Notable relatives: Alaska, Arsenic & Old Lace, Bamboo, Bradford, Demon Lover, Fitty-Fitty, Gibson, Turf Club, Tuxedo, Vesper

Why does my bone-dry vodka Martini taste sweet?

Because you’re one of the lucky ones.

Firstly, to clear up a common misconception: distilled spirits do not contain sugar (or gluten, by the way), unless they have been adulterated post-distillation. Sugar is non-volatile i.e., it won’t evaporate
and re-condense (ditto gluten). Depending on the country of production, a spirit may be dosed with a small amount of sugar, in some form or another, before bottling, but usually only a few grams per
liter to lend smoothness and mouthfeel; this addition is nearly always below the human level of perception for sweetness. Some countries prohibit this practice explicitly, at least with particular spirits.7
Furthermore, certain spirits contain chemical compounds, or their analogs, that we often associate with sweetness, thereby influencing our perception. For instance, the distinct banana bread character
of Tennessee Whiskey, or the vanilla notes of a Martinique rum—both of which may be perceived as sweet without actually containing sugar. But we are not talking about these; no pesky sweet-seeming
congeners from fermentation or creamy lactones picked up from a barrel.

We’re talking about unsweetened ethanol, pure and simple.

For reasons that are not fully understood by modern science, a significant portion of the human (and some non-human) species, experience ethanol as distinctly saccharine. Multiple explanations for
this have been suggested, including an evolutionary benefit in the form of nutritional reward for those of us who preferred the ripest (and therefore most nutritionally bio-available) fruit in the forest i.e.,
that which had just started to ferment. Both birds and insects have been observed to change their flight patterns in response to a detected ethanol plume, presumably guided by a similar motivational
mechanism. Furthermore, as many of us have experienced firsthand, low to moderate levels of ethanol ingestion may act as an appetite stimulant, another likely evolutionary boon to our early ancestors.
Why our hedonic response took the form of detectable sweetness in the absence of sugars—rather than developing another novel taste/sensation—is unclear. It has been suggested that the mental wiring for
the four/five tastes was already well-established by the time we started experiencing ethanol in any significant concentrations, so our gray matter just told it to pick a seat on the bus: some of us got sweet,
the rest got bitter. The latter makes a bit of sense, as bitter compounds in nature are usually a harbinger of poison, which ethanol undoubtedly is (though, as Paracelsus tell us—and I’m paraphrasing—the
portion is the poison). However, as with sweetness, pure ethanol does not contain any actual bitter compounds.

Chemosensory perception of ethanol is complex—a combination of both brain chemistry and taste receptors in our mouth (we didn’t even discuss oral irritation, i.e., the “burn,” which also varies between
individuals). Both appear to be genetically inherited. There’s even some evidence that the hereditary nature of alcoholism may be influenced by the hedonic (sweet), rather than aversive (bitter) response
to ethanol. Ya win some, ya lose some.

1 In a cocktail recipe book, that is. The character Shirley in Lilian Bell’s (American) novel, The Expatriates (1900), orders a “Dry Martini cocktail, father, with an olive in it.” Her father responds that
cocktails are “vile things,” before ordering himself a Manhattan.
2 These days, such a Martini is called a “Fitty-Fitty” and is much beloved by bartenders who love (to love) vermouth. I’m that bitch.
3 The Churchill quote you’re thinking of: “observe the vermouth from across the room” or “bow in the direction of France,” depending on who’s telling it, is almost certainly either a fabrication, or has
been misattributed (this happens so much to the man in question, historians have created a term for it: “Churchill Drift”). Not only did he generally eschew the Martini, he also didn’t particularly care for gin, or
for cocktails at all for the matter. That said, the sentiment, no matter who said it first, successfully demonstrates the prevailing attitude of the day.
4 I personally think this is a needless affectation and a waste of time. If you can differentiate between a bone dry Martini and one poured into a vermouth-rinsed glass, you’ve a better palate than me (I’ve
tried). If it’s vermouth aromatics you’re looking for, consider putting some in an atomizer and misting over your drink just before serving. Just like your bottles, keep it in the fridge (I don’t care what the edgy
bartender told you).
5 Okay, I did put The Appletini on a bar menu one season, but it was like, ironic, or whatever (and delicious). Shit, I also did a Lychee Martini (Demon Lover). Look, I don’t have to defend myself to the
likes of you. The damage had already been done with those two. No new -tinis, okay? Unless I want to.
6 Bad Latin for “Is nothing sacred?” I include this version because it’s got street cred—spoken by Ms. Cross in Rushmore (1998)—but “non quicquam sanctumst?” would be more grammatically sound. I
lost my virginity quite late.
7 To be clear, I don’t generally support this practice, especially when the dosage is high and undisclosed and extends to flavorants, such as vanilla and oak. That said, the practice is so old, and so
widespread, it may be a distinctive element of certain spirits, especially those produced in particular countries. The market for additive-free tequila has grown rapidly in recent years, a positive development, to be
sure. At the same time, we don’t seem to be making those demands of the near-universally adulterated cognac market, which allows a considerably higher concentration of modifying agents (4% to tequila’s 1%).

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 The Negroni - c.1920
30 ml gin
30 ml Campari
30 ml sweet vermouth
stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/orange twist

Guess what? Contested provenance. The most-oft believed origin story derives from a Count Camillo1 Negroni of Florence, Italy. The count had worked a few seasons as a cowboy, rodeo clown, and fencing instructor
in the United States and, during that time, developed a taste for gin (the traditional beverage of the American rodeo clown, as we all know). In 1920, or thereabouts, freshly arrived back home, he asked Fosco
Scarselli, bartender at Café Casoni, to replace the seltzer in his usual Americano cocktail with gin. Why this has never become the official cocktail of the American rodeo is anyone’s guess. I’ll keep writing letters
though.

What it is: Approximately 1 part base spirit + 1 part herbal modifier + 1 part aromatised and/or fortified wine
Why it works: Dynamic tension. Pound for pound, it’s quite a sweet cocktail, but the bitterness of Campari and dry herbaceousness of gin keep it from getting sticky. Meanwhile, the sweetness takes the edge off the
bitterness. All three ingredients are botanical and therefore have natural affinities. The result is intense, no way around it, and it inspires equally intense opinions, both for and against. If you, like me, have acquired
the taste, you’ll know that it’s a curse as much as a blessing: it’s all you’ll want to drink. Unfortunately for us, the bitter astringency makes that next sip all the more appealing, which is how I mindlessly empty three
of these before my date arrives. She then had to leave unexpectedly for some reason. Barkeep, another.
How to riff: Substitute the base spirit. One of my favorite Negroni riffs simply taps in Jamaican Rum (called a Kingston Negroni—bartenders sometimes use up all their creativity in the recipes). Substitute the
Campari for another citrus-heavy aperitivo (Aperol, Cappalletti, Bruto Americano, etc.) or simply a strongly-flavored amaro or liqueur (Fernet-Branca, Cynar, Chartreuse, etc.). Swap the sweet vermouth for dry or
bianco or another aromatised and/or fortified wine (oloroso sherry, Byrrh, Dubonnet, etc.). Remember: dynamic tension. Think of three equal parts less in terms of liquid volume, and more in terms of impact. If
an ingredient is particularly delicate, or especially potent, feel free to adjust amounts accordingly.
Notable relatives: Bijou, Boulevardier, Cardinale, Gloria, Left Hand, Morning Negroni, Old Pal, The Screamer, Tipperary, White Negroni, Zephyr

The Daiquiri -1896

60 ml white rum
20 ml lime juice
20 ml simple syrup (1:1)
shake/fine strain/coupe

The holy trinity of rum, lime, and sugar has been well known and celebrated in the Caribbean—even by pirates—since the seventeenth century, although mostly consumed as punch. It wasn’t until 1896 that an
American mining engineer by the name of Jennings Cox Jr., stationed in Cuba and finding himself fresh out of gin while entertaining guests, whipped up the first batch of the streamlined version we know and love
today, originally in a pitcher with shaved ice. Twelve years later, he got around to naming it.

But it was Constantino Ribalaigua Vert, proprietor of Cuba’s storied La Florida bar from 1918 until his death in 1952 (comprising the whole of American Prohibition), who elevated the humble Daiquiri to high
art, making it world famous in the process. In addition to growing his own limes, in order to better control their quality and tart/sweet balance, his menu listed four versions, differentiated by not only subtle
alternations to ingredients, but by the types of ice employed, and the method of mixing. It was Daiquiri No.4 that got all the attention, amalgamated with chipped ice in a newfangled electric blender until soft and
vaporous—a panacea for the Caribbean heat.

What it is: Approximately 3 parts spirit + 1 part citrus +1 part non-fruit sweetener.
Why it works: The vegetal notes of a good quality white rum are a natural match for the green sharpness of lime. Sugar provides balance and body.
Make it your own: This is the basic sour template. First, nail down your own ideal ratio: I like 60/20/20 (ml) but feel free to adjust citrus and sweetener to your own personal preference. Try a 60/30/20 for something
a little more tart and lime-forward; try 60/20/30 for something a touch sweeter and richer on the palate; try 60/15/15 for the same tart/sweet balance, but a little more booze-forward. Once you’ve dialed in your
taste, remember it and feel free to alter all sour recipes closer to your preferred template. Now, Mr. Potato Head the shit out of it. For the Daiquiri, you’ll get a lot of traction just within the standard recipe; the
diversity of expression within rum alone is considerable. The differences between a funky overproof barrel-aged Jamaican rum, a delicate white Puerto Rican rum, and a grassy rhum agricole from Martinique are
enough to almost consider them unique spirits. All make a damn fine Daiquiri. When it comes to the next two ingredients, remember that not all citrus and not all sweeteners are perfectly interchangeable. Navel
orange juice is sweeter and less acidic than lime, undiluted molasses is sweeter than simple syrup (and damn hard to mix into a cocktail), some liqueurs are quite alcoholic. For these ingredients, your ratios will need
to be amended, but don’t overthink it. Trial and error is fun. Invite some friends over. Tell them to bring a toothbrush (to stay the night, not because your drinks are gross).
Notable relatives: Abeja Robótica, Army & Navy, Bee’s Knees, Blood Brother, Brooklynite, Brown Derby, Caipirinha, Corn ’n’ Oil, Gimlet, Gold Rush, Honeysuckle, Kentucky Maid, Little Daddy, Long
Shadows, Penicillin, Pisco Sour, Poison Root, Queen’s Park Swizzle, Rattlesnake, Ti’ Punch, Tommy’s Margarita (lol), Trinidad Sour, Whiskey Sour, Zombie

The Margarita -c.1930s

60 ml blanco tequila
20 ml Cointreau
20 ml lime juice
5 ml simple syrup (1:1) [optional]
shake/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/half salt rim & lime wheel

The number of competing stories here legally qualifies as "a shitload,” none of them bulletproof. We can safely assume that it began life, maybe independently in multiple places, as a tequila riff on either a Sidecar
or a Daisy—a loosely defined family of sours which originate c.1870s and are sweetened with a fruit syrup or liqueur, often including a splash of soda water; now who can tell me the Spanish word for Daisy? Maybe
this happens in Southern California, maybe in Mexico, or NYC, or London, or Texas, or some combination. Oh, it’s also called by various names. By 1939 it had a salt rim. In 1953, it finally gets the name we know
today, first in a California newspaper, then in Esquire magazine. A 1956 national advertising campaign by José Cuervo effectively settled the naming debate.

What it is: A sour primarily sweetened with a fruit syrup or liqueur.

Why it works: The same reason a Daiquiri works. Also, fruit is tasty and goes with everything. Traditionally, curaçao/triple sec (orange liqueurs) and grenadine (pomegranate syrup) were popular players.
Make it your own: You got this.
Notable relatives: Aviation, Between the Sheets, Bootleg, Boy/Friend, Bramble, Clover Club, Cosmopolitan, Ego Death, Eight Inch Cocktail, Heat Stroke, Jack Rose, Japanese Slipper, Lemon Drop, Monkey
Gland, Pegu Club, Pink Lady, Quaker, Scofflaw, Sidecar, Strawberry Daiquiri (lol), Telenovela, The Appletini, The Guy From That One Movie, Three Dots and a Dash, White Lady, Ward Eight, X.Y.Z.

1 Some histories list him as “Emilio” instead of Camillo. I don’t know if this is due to old school naming conventions for Italian nobility (a weird contraction of “Count” and “Emilio” perhaps), or simply
a telephone mistake that was repeated, but historians I respect seem to have settled on Camillo.

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 The Last Word - c.1916
20 ml gin
20 ml maraschino liqueur
20 ml Green Chartreuse
20 ml lime juice
shake/fine strain/nick & nora

Contrary to popular belief, this was not created during Prohibition to mask the taste of bathtub gin. For starters, it’s too old, created no later than 1916 at the Detroit Athletic Club. Secondly, if you’re having trouble
finding real gin, I have a feeling you’re not sitting pretty with maraschino liqueur and—even now quite precious—Green Chartreuse; use your noggin. At some point between its creation and the passing of the
Volstead Act, the recipe was carried to New York by famous vaudeville monologist, Frank Fogarty. It did become a Prohibition-era hit, at least at the better provisioned clubs. It remained popular through the 1950s
but, as with too many drinks of the era, it eventually faded into oblivion, where it likely would have stayed were it not for Murray Stenson (see Chapter V: Renaissance).

What it is: Approximately 1 part base spirit + 1 part citrus + 1 part herbal liqueur + 1 part sweet liqueur.
Why it works: Because sometimes more is more. Three of the four ingredients are powerful and/or distinctive, but the equal parts ratio keeps neither from dominating. The result is flavorful but balanced; a lot but
never too much.
Make it your own: Stay close to the ingredient families and ratio and just start experimenting. This template is the dark art of the cocktail world; combinations that wouldn’t appear to work on paper, are sometimes
magical (Paper Plane), while some are abominations (Blood & Sand).
Notable relatives: Blood & Sand, Corpse Reviver No. 2, Diablo Rubio, Division Bell, Final Ward, Naked & Famous, Paper Plane, Water Lily

The Highball - 1819

60 ml scotch (or other spirit)
150 ml soda water
build/collins/cube ice (optional)

Okay, my attribution is a stretch, but I’m giving this one to Lord Byron (yes, that one). To be fair, he is credited with kicking off a craze for hock (German white wine) and sparkling water, after declaring it a
fine hangover cure in the first part of his serialized epic poem, Don Juan. Eventually, his fellow Brits would swap hock for brandy. Once phylloxera2 had literally eaten up the brandy supply, they reached for
whisk(e)y—mostly scotch. The etymology is uncertain, but a plausible theory simply involves the glass: as early as 1892, a “high ball” was defined in a Pennsylvania newspaper as a whiskey glass taller than four
fingers (a “ball” being Irish slang for a short glass of whiskey). It starts popping up in cocktail books just a few years later.

These days, the term has expanded to include basically any spirit with a considerable quantity of basically any mixer, carbonated or not. For my money, a Highball is whisk(e)y and sparkling water, with or without
ice (I like without; a nod to the OGs, when ice was still a novelty in short supply), maybe a lemon twist. That said, I’ll allow some latitude in order to build a cocktail family around it.

As with pretty much everything they take an interest in (cars, animation, Americana, kink), the Japanese have elevated the highball to high art. If you ever encounter a functioning Suntory Highball machine, order
two. If you're alone, pour one out for Lord Byron.

What it is: Approximately 1 part base spirit + 1-3 parts carbonated mixer; additional citrus and sweetener optional.
Why it works: Simplicity, versatility, and ease (don’t underestimate that last one). It turns nighttime sippers into daytime refreshers. In its most basic form, it invites you to appreciate a spirit
in a less aggressive form, allowing you to enjoy subtle nuances without burn and bite. The effervescence of lightly flavored carbonated ingredients may also bring volatile compounds out of
solution, enhancing aroma.
Make it your own: Like something? Put some pop on it. Results will span the gap from perfectly palatable to unnervingly good (e.g., absinthe and Sprite—discovered by San Diego’s own Kevin
Duff).
Notable relatives: Alabazam, Americano, Bicycle Thief, Cuba Libre, Dark & Stormy, El Diablo, El Stupido, French Bulldog, French 75, Gin & Tonic, Mojito, Michelada, Moscow Mule,
Old Cuban, Paloma, Pimm’s Cup, Rickey, This Cocktail Sucks, Tom Collins, Vodka Soda, White Linen

The Bloody Mary - 1920s

60 ml vodka
120 ml tomato juice
15 ml lemon juice
pinch of salt
pinch of black pepper
3 dashes Worcestershire sauce
3 dashes Tabasco sauce
roll/strain/collins/cube ice/celery stalk

The history is, no surprise, as opaque as the drink. We do know that tomato juice, plain and spiced, was being advertised as a hangover cure in the early 1920s (Prohibition moonshine did not a good morning make).
A non-alcoholic “Tomato Juice Cocktail,” made with salt, lemon, Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce, was being advertised as early as 1927, possibly the creation of Chicago hotelier, Ernest Byfield (we likely also
have him to thank for the celery stalk garnish). Whether or not the alcoholic version(s) evolved alongside, or subsequent to, is anyone’s guess. However, American entertainer, George Jessel, claims he first started
combining vodka and tomato juice in Palm Beach, Florida in 1927. Purportedly, French bartender, Fernand “The Frog” Petiot, was doing the same thing at Harry’s New York Bar in Paris right around the same
time, but with aforementioned spices. In 1934, he brought the mixture with him to New York’s St. Regis Hotel, where he traded the vodka for gin and called it a Red Snapper. In 1964, Petiot would give Jessel
credit for both the base combination and the name, but insist that he was the one who added the spices. Unfortunately, there’s no existing evidence from the Prohibition years to support either of their claims, but
by the middle of the 1930s, both were strongly associated with the drink. Though not without detractors, the cocktail has remained a household name since the end of WWII (in concert with the Moscow Mule, it
contributed to the large scale embrace of vodka in 1950s America). Now, as then, the template is used by bartenders looking to explore more savory applications. I’ve expanded the family to include all long drinks
with a non-carbonated mixer, but the closest relatives will still lean distinctly umami.

What it is: Approximately 1 part base spirit + 2-3 parts non-carbonated mixer; additional citrus, sweetener, and spices optional.
Why it works: Like the Highball, it’s an unfussy way to turn a sip into a drink. The lack of carbonation allows for richer and more concentrated flavors to shine. Often, the spirit becomes the seasoning for the
mixer, rather than the other way around.
Make it your own: 1.) Find a juice you like. 2.) Find a spirit you like. 3.) Make ‘em kiss. 4.) Kiss ‘em. Adjust sweetness, acidity, and spice to taste (if you can be bothered). Try a pinch of salt. Go from there.
Notable relatives: Bay Breeze, Bloody Bull, Bloody Caesar, Bloody Maria, Bullshot, Caribaldi, Cape Codder, Grey Hound/Salty Dog, Harvey Wallbanger, Lunch Box Cider, More Better, Red Snapper,
Screwdriver, Vampiro, Verde Mary

2 A North American aphid-like grapevine pest that, in the later half of the nineteenth century, brought the European wine industry to its knees. Some estimate that between two-thirds to nine-tenths of
all European vineyards were destroyed by the louse. The industry was eventually saved by grafting European vines onto resistant American rootstock, a practice that continues to this day in virtually all European
vineyards.

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 The Eggnog - c.1788
30 ml aged rum
30 ml cognac
30 ml simple syrup (1:1)
30 ml heavy cream
30 ml whole milk
1 whole egg
dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/fresh grated nutmeg

Modern Eggnog is an American invention, likely descended from British posset (pronounced exactly as it’s spelled; hard “e” please), a variously-assembled sweet Medieval beverage, often made by curdling warm milk
or cream with wine or ale, sometimes spiced, and occasionally thickened with eggs (among other things). As a shameful result of the Atlantic slave trade, American colonists found Caribbean rum a more affordable,
and available, substitute to imported wine and spirits. In Southern states, this was just as likely to be Bourbon, or a mixture of the two, though brandy and fortified wines, such as sherry and Madeira, still found
their way into many recipes. The first print mentions of a drink called Eggnog appear in a New Jersey periodical in 1788, but since the author takes for granted some familiarity on the part of the reader, we may
assume that it was already in common parlance by that time. By the beginning of the nineteenth century, the preparation was strongly associated with yuletide hospitality, especially in the South, and the basic recipe
firmly established. It involved separating a number of eggs, mixing the yolks with sugar, whipping the whites to soft peaks, then folding them back in with booze and cream. It was then served chilled or at room
temperature, though hot preparations were not uncommon, neither were individual preparations like the one above. As for the name, several theories exist, none of them particularly convincing, neither are they
good stories; I'll spare us.

I use it here as a representative for cocktails containing whole egg (often called “flips” in modern jargon; see Flip in Chapter IX), egg yolk, dairy, dairy alternatives, or some combination thereof. These are rich,
indulgent beverages with a long and respectable history,1 though they are regularly disparaged, and sometimes for good reason. When made poorly, they can be thick and cloying. When made well, they are downright
sinful. Here’s how to make them well.

What it is: Approximately 2 part spirit and/or fortified wine + 1 part sweetener + 1-2 part dairy and/or whole egg; spice component optional but highly recommended.
Why it works: Because fat and sugar, that’s why. Our Paleolithic brains are no match for that combination. Add booze—preferably something complimentary e.g., an oak aged spirit with notes of vanilla and clove
and/or a rich and nutty fortified wine—and we’re entirely fucked.
Make it your own: This is an incredibly versatile template. Only have milk or cream? It’ll do. Only have cognac? Still bomb. Mezcal? I’ve done it (I’ve sold it). The above recipe is bare bones by design, so feel free to
tinker. I strongly encourage you to swap in some fortified wine for a portion of the booze. It’s also a slut for warm spices, so a healthy splash of amaro is almost always welcome (adjust sweetener if necessary). I use
simple syrup in the recipe to keep it easy, but a couple heaping barspoons of sugar is my preference. On that point, try molasses, try sorghum, try vanilla syrup, etc. Simply adding a whole egg to existing cocktails
can sometimes lead to surprising results (see Golden Penicillin and Morning Negroni in Chapter IX), ditto heavy cream (ditto Carajillo Blanco). Like a drizzle of olive oil across a bowl of gazpacho, the added fat
allows flavors to linger on the palate that would be otherwise fleeting. The protein in both cream and eggs adds additional richness, and can smooth the harshness and astringency of barrel-aged booze, in the same
way milk tames coffee (so, coffee nog—you’ll learn about liquor infusions in the next chapter).
Notable relatives: Alexander, Atholl Brose, Black Light Painting, Black Milk, Bosom Caresser, Carajillo Blanco, Coffee Cocktail, Coquito, Flip, Grasshopper, Horchata, Irish Coffee, Painkiller, Piña
Colada, Ramos Gin Fizz, Saratoga Brace Up, White Russian, Xocolatl

Aged Nog
We’ve been aging nog for as long as we’ve been making it. For starters, it was probably a good method of long-term egg and dairy preservation before the advent of refrigeration. If you’ve even had a friend
with chickens, you’ll know that sometimes life gives you too many eggs, and you can only make so many frittatas (that got more philosophical than I intended). More importantly, it changes the flavor.
Many early recipes—including George Washington’s—called for several days of mellowing in a “cool place” before enjoying. Some did this for months. Some for years.
Proponents claim it lessens the alcohol bite and allows flavors to meld, but this is debated, and highly subjective. As someone who’s aged his fair share of nog (not sure why that sounds so dirty), some in
excess of a year, I can confidently say this: it changes. New flavors develop, in varying degrees: mint, pineapple, banana, ginger, copper, aluminum foil, nail polish remover. Some are pleasant, some less so.
It’s also very recipe specific. Just like wine, cars, people—we all age differently. Some recipes peak around three weeks and then start the slow decline. Some folks swear that batches 5+ years on keep getting
better. Some are best the day they’re made. That said, I’ve never had one “go bad.” Which brings me to the question you’re probably screaming on the subway right now:

Is it safe?

I’m going to—you guessed it—preface my answer with a caveat: I’m not a doctor. I’m not a microbiologist or a chemist or someone who knows shit about shit. Aging
raw eggs and dairy naturally involves some possibility of contamination leading to sickness or even death. Proceed at your own risk. That said: yes, it’s reasonably safe.
Alcohol aside, that is. Because of the alcohol, that is. Safer, in fact, than the day you make it. In 2009, microbiolgists at Rockefeller University decided to test a batch of
aged nog, in honor of their late colleague. For over 40 years, Dr. Rebecca Lancefield would whip up a boozy batch of nog around Thanksgiving that would be parked in
the lab refrigerator until Christmas. No one ever got sick but, ya know, scientists need to science. To make sure they were testing worst case scenario, they spiked the
batch with an amount of salmonella equivalent to every single egg in the batch being highly contaminated.2 By the end of week 3, the batch was completely sterile.

N.B.: Dr. Rebecca Lancefield was a badass. Her nog recipe is not for the faint of heart (or liver). At 14% ABV, it’s significantly boozier than most, to the extent
that some may find it unpalatable. Batches of a more conventional alcohol content (7-10%) may very well kill bacteria just as effectively, but it hasn’t been lab
tested. For my part, the very first nog I aged clocked in at 10% ABV, and I let it go for a year (and lived to tell the tale). That said, it’s unlikely that any of the eggs
I used were contaminated so, again, attempt at your own risk. That recipe is in the back of the book. If you’d like to boost the alcohol content to 14%, simply
increase the amount of both rum and cognac to 700 ml each. If, after aging, you find it too boozy, just dilute with a little fresh dairy or give it a shake with ice (or
both). One popular method involves aging only eggs, sugar, and booze and adding fresh dairy at the end. This will certainly keep the alcohol content above the
target (around 20% for my recipe), and you’re free to give it a try, especially if you’re short on fridge space. Personally, I prefer to age the whole damn thing. Not only
does the dairy experience its own changes, but a fully compiled batch can be more readily sampled to track its evolution, as the days turn to weeks, and the weeks turn
to centuries. If I ever have children, it will mostly be to carry on my aged nog research. Expect a really cool blog post in 2524. Dr. Rebecca Lancefield
(1895-1981)

1 Eggnog, like posset before it, was regularly used medicinally, particularly as nourishment for those convalescing on a liquid diet. The 1883 book, Alcohol as a Food, a Medicine, a Poison, and as a Luxury
(which was the original title of this book before I found out someone beat me to it), includes a very decent recipe for nog made with “brandy or whisky, whichever may be preferred,” and garnished with nutmeg.
It was to be administered to invalids in 1-4 tablespoon doses every 1-2 hours. This is why your great-great-grandfather could get hit by a train and recover (then marry his nurse).

2 To give some indication of how astronomically unlikely this is: the USDA estimates one in every 20,000 commercial chicken eggs produced in the United States is contaminated with a dangerous level
of salmonella, meaning the chance of even one of the eggs in your batch being unsafe is around .005%. Put another way, the average consumer may encounter such an egg every 84 years. Even then, your old ass
probably scrambled that one, rendering it harmless. That said, the chance is not 0%. Update your will.

36
 Chapter VII

Prep School
Let’s make some of our own ingredients. A few things to keep in mind before we get started:

This is easy. Don’t overthink it. A child could prepare most of the housemade ingredients you see on fancy cocktail menus. In fact, at my last bar...never mind.

Walk before you run. Start simple. Literally, start with simple syrup. Then a slightly-less-simple syrup (raspberry is nice). You really don’t need to lacto-ferment for your first foray into cocktail ingredients.
Or your second. Or, like, ever. Which brings me to my next point.

Consider not running at all. Don’t overcomplicate needlessly. Never use four ingredients in your recipes when three (or two) are just as good. Never infuse something for a week that’s just as good pulsed
in a blender. Sometimes, special ingredients really do need the extra care and time and complexity. Oftentimes, it’s just gilding the lily. The greatest cocktails ever made (see previous chapter) are deceptively
simple. Say less.

Occasionally, ignore everything I just said. Ferment something. Grow your own ramps. Take up apiary and then make mead with the honey. Buy sodium alginate. Write fifteen ingredient recipes. Try
stuff that don’t make sense (candied mushrooms are incredible, by the way). This is supposed to be fun. If you get excited about an ingredient, a tool, or a process, give it a try. Then tell me to get fucked
and stay fucked.

Focus on Syrups & Liquor Infusions. These are the bread & butter of modern cocktail prep (both of those are viable syrup & infusion ingredients, by the way). If I’m working with a new ingredient, my
first consideration is, more often than not, deciding if it’s going to become a syrup or an infusion, as they can handle just about anything. Each have particular strengths and weaknesses (described in detail
below), so it’s just a matter of deciding which application will best highlight the ingredient and elevate the cocktail.

Clarity is important. Whenever possible, strive to keep your preparations transparent, semi-transparent, or, at the very least, free of suspended matter that will quickly fall out of solution. Obviously, there
are exceptions to this “rule.” Nut syrups are going to be opaque and, unless you employ stabilizers (more on that in a minute), will likely separate eventually. Same goes for purées, and the syrups made from
them. That said, there are almost always steps one can take, from filtration to blending to any number of chemical interventions (or, if you’re a nepo baby, use of a centrifuge), to improve the clarity of your
preparations. Not only will this improve the aesthetics of your final cocktail (which is enough, in my book), it will be considerably more pleasant on the palate. Cocktails should be sipped, not chewed.

Be safe. Certain ingredients can harm or even kill. Tobacco infusions are not a good idea—the fatal dose of nicotine is easily achieved through direct consumption. Activated charcoal can turn a cocktail
black; it can also absorb necessary medications (birth control, blood thinners, SSRIs, etc.). Homemade tonic syrup can be tasty; it can also lead to quinine poisoning if you're not careful. I bring these up
because they occasionally appear on cocktails menus, and you may be temped to try them at home. Other examples are not hard to find. Some can be done safely with a little research. Others, should be
avoided entirely. Never assume that something is harmless just because you saw a bartender do it (e.g., loose chunks of dry ice in your Scorpion Bowl). We're not always as smart as we look.

Syrups Liquor Infusions

A solution of sugar in liquid. In its most basic form, this is simple syrup, equal parts sugar and water. I have to continually resist the urge to say “here is where things get interesting,” but, well, you know.
Many chemical compounds are only soluble in alcohol. That means, a cocktail made with plain gin and
Sugar: White for a clean, neutral flavor; brown or unrefined (turbinado, demerara, piloncillo, palm, raspberry syrup is going to taste different than a cocktail made with raspberry-infused gin and simple syrup.
etc.) for a richer, more complex flavor. The latter can certainly add nuance, but it may also overshadow Isn’t that cool!?2 Sometimes one method is noticeably better than another. Oftentimes, it’s just different,
other delicate flavors. I myself am partial to plain old white granulated sugar, provided it is made neither better or worse. Better in some applications, worse in others. Experiment. Skin the cats. That's a
from sugar cane rather than sugar beet. Chemically, I’m told, they are identical, but I’ve had too many metaphor (I repeat, that is not an infusion suggestion).
otherwise inexplicable recipe mishaps to risk it when the price difference is so negligible. I know plenty
of professional bakers and pastry chefs who feel the same. If a bag of sugar doesn’t specify, it’s probably Put something tasty into a bit of booze, wait a while, then strain it out. You now have an infusion. Don’t
beet. Proceed with caution and don’t blame me for the results. I don’t have a PubMed subscription (at overthink it. Here are a few of my favorites:
time of writing anyway; if this book blows up, maybe I’ll go nuts), but the freely-accessed abstract of a
2014 paper from the University of Illinois highlights statistically-significant reported sensory differences Chile tequila (fresh and/or dried)
between simple syrup and pavlovas made with either cane or beet sugar. Up to you. Golden raisin scotch
Liquid: Don’t limit yourself to water. Use coffee or tea. Use a tisane. Use juice. Use nut milk for a basic Vanilla bean gin (or, better yet, genever)
orgeat. Nearly anything that can be used to dissolve sugar—outside of like, horse piss1—can, and should, Lavender vodka
be used to make cocktail syrups. Peanut bourbon

Ratio: I like equal parts—ideally by weight, but volume works fine as well—but feel free to make your life The recipes are literally built into the names, but if you're a read-all-of-the-instructions type (see: me), you
more complicated. Some bartenders swear by rich simple (2:1) or even, yes, I’m serious, semi-rich simple can find detailed recipes for these, and more, in the final section of Chapter IX.
(1.5:1). I think the headaches­—like, not being able to interchange syrups in basic cocktail recipes—more
than outweigh the supposed benefits, chief among these being less dilution, which, as we learned way Tools: I strongly recommend infusing in glass. Feel free to add infusion ingredients directly to the bottle
back in the Chapter III, is not a legitimate cause for concern in nearly all cases. Not only is my recipe easy if you’re confident you can strain them out later. Otherwise, invest in some swing top jars. Depending on
to remember, it’s easier to make. It also involves considerably less risk of compromising the quality of your the size and condition of your infusion ingredients, you may be able to strain though a simple colander.
ingredients. Sugar dissolves quite readily in an equal portion of liquid. The same cannot be said of 2 parts For everything else, use a fine mesh chinois, cheesecloth, or—for particularly fine particulate—a wet
sugar to 1 part liquid, which requires considerably more heat and/or violent agitation. In many cases, this coffee filter (or some combination thereof ).
is just annoying. In some, you risk damaging the product. Non quicquam sanctumst?
Size: The smaller your infusion ingredients, the quicker they’ll infuse. The finer you slice your produce,
Shelf life. Sugar is a strong preservative. This is why jam seems to last forever. Simple syrup is basically the smaller you chop your herbs, the more minutely you crush your spices, the quicker they will infuse
immortal, but it can, like honey, occasionally crystallize. Like honey, you can simply warm it up to re- into your alcohol due to more broken cell walls and increased surface area. However, less is not always
liquify, but if your simple syrup has time to spontaneously crystallize, you should really consider making more. At a certain point, your ingredients will become difficult to strain (don’t forget clarity). Also, rapid
smaller batches. It’s not difficult to make on the fly. There’s no reason a batch of simple that’s old enough infusion is not always preferable. Certain flavors of a particular ingredient may infuse quickly, while
to cut its own meat should be taking up space in your refrigerator. Infusion-based syrups (tea, tisane, etc.) others will take time. Every ingredient is different. Experiment and have fun.
are also probably not going to go bad in a hurry, but they will lose vibrancy and color over time. Again,
small batches. This isn’t alchemy. 1.) Make some Earl Grey. 2.) Add sugar. You don’t need a year supply. Cheat code: Use a blender. Your infusion won’t be as clear or as complex as a traditional infusion, but it
Fresh ingredients (berries, fresh herbs, etc.) will spoil eventually. 1-2 weeks is a safe bet. I’d toss anything, works great in a pinch. In some cases—chile tequila for instance—it will actually turn your infusion an
even if it looks and smells okay, after 1 month. Or drink it. You can extend the shelf life by adding a attractive bright color. The color will fade in a few days, especially if exposed to sunlight, but the flavor
splash of distilled spirit. Something neutral (vodka, Everclear, etc.) is the obvious choice, but other spirits should remain viable for some time.
can make sense, if they make sense e.g., bourbon in a cinnamon syrup or gin in a tarragon syrup. Or if
they don’t make sense: swap those last two examples. Probably still dope. Maybe even better. Do you see Time: The longer you infuse, the more flavor you will pull out of your ingredients—up to a point.
how easy this is? I usually stick to around 5% added booze (e.g., 30 ml vodka in 600 ml syrup). If you’re Eventually, your infusion will reach terminal velocity, so to speak, and won’t get much stronger. It will
running a commercial bar, I encourage you to be consistent and precise. At home, my measure of choice continue to evolve however, in ways that may or may not be desirable. Again, experiment. Certain
is “a splash.” Keep in mind, if you do add booze, you can no longer use your syrup for n/a cocktails or to ingredients, ground coffee for instance, will infuse in a matter of minutes. More delicate ingredients,
make sodas/coolers for your nephew (well, you shouldn’t, at least). For this reason, I rarely add alcohol to gooseberries for instance, may require several days or even weeks.
syrups at the bar, as I want the freedom to use them for my, equally-important, abstemious guests. Sure, I
lose a few days of shelf life, but I gain an untold number of loyal patrons who are tired of drinking tonic Cheat code II: Rapid infuse in a whipped cream dispenser. The pressure inside the canister will quickly
and lime at every other bar in town. Your priorities may differ. push liquid deep into the infusion ingredient, rupturing cell walls in the process. Again, the final result
will usually not be as complex and nuanced as a traditional infusion, but you can get approximate results
Cheat code: Read the "Gums" section of the following chapter. in a few hours instead of a few days.

1 Don’t blame me when this ends up on a menu somewhere.

2 See previous note re: virginity.

37
Cheat code III: Create a sous vide bath with an immersion circulator set no higher than 60°C. Alcohol Shrubs
boils at 78.3°C but, like other volatile liquids, it can still evaporate—albeit slowly—at lower temperatures,
hence the buffer. Be sure the lid on your glass infusion vessel is loose, as expanding gas could cause an Shrubs are sweetened drinking vinegars, traditionally made by soaking fresh berries in vinegar then
explosion if you’re particularly unlucky. I use this method with toasted oak spirals for rapid “barrel-aging” combining the resultant liquid with sugar. They were popular before the advent of refrigeration,
of spirits and finished cocktails. I can accomplish overnight what normally takes a week or two. If using particularly in colonial America, as a way of preserving summer’s harvest and staving off scurvy during
a sealed bag, feel free to go as hot as you’d like, but keep in mind that certain infusion ingredients may winter. Now, they are mostly just a way for bartenders like me to force history down your throat. That
degrade undesirably at high heat. Personally, I try to avoid putting high-proof alcohol in flexible plastic, said, when made correctly—which is not terribly complicated—they’re lovely.
especially when cooking is involved, but those are unproven risks for you to decide for yourself. I also
occasionally break this rule. A quick note on terminology: In modern American usage, a “shrub” is almost always understood to mean
a flavored vinegar syrup used to prepare a beverage, alcoholic or otherwise. Historically, the term has
Shelf life: If you’re using full-proof spirit (roughly 40% ABV and above) as your infusion vehicle, expect a also been used to describe the beverage itself. In England, especially in the seventeenth and eighteenth
shelf life that is basically forever. By that I mean, the liquid is not going to “spoil,” and by that I mean it’s century, a shrub was actually a fruit liqueur made with citrus rinds and occasionally juice, usually with a
(probably) not going to kill you, and by that I mean no quicker than the uninfused alcohol would have base of rum or brandy. If you’ve wondered why Rhum Clement Creole Shrubb is not a syrupy vinegar,
eventually. That said, depending on the delicacy of the infusion ingredient, and the storage conditions, it now you have your answer. Are they related to the small woody perennial also commonly referred to as a
may lose quality, vibrancy, and maybe color, over a period of weeks to months to years. If you’re infusing “bush”? Disappointingly, no. That word is descended from Old English, while the word for the beverage
in something relatively low-proof, vermouth for instance, expect about the same or slightly shorter shelf is borrowed from an Arabic word meaning “to drink.” Simpler times.
life than the vermouth itself (1-4 months).
Basic recipe: Equal parts fruit/sugar/vinegar into a jar, cover, wait like 2 days, strain, done.
Oleo-Saccharum
Embellishments: This one is about as forgiving as it gets. The ratios can be altered quite radically
Latin for “oil-sugar,” you’ll see this ingredient pop up in according to taste, ingredients, and intended usage. Parts can be measured by weight or volume. Break
centuries-old recipes for punch and also on the menus of up the fruit a little bit but not so much that it’s difficult to strain at the end. The fruit will have probably
obnoxious bars (guilty). given up most of its flavor by that point, but no one’s going to complain if you toss it into some pancake
batter or use it for a quick-and-dirty Whiskey Smash (and if they do complain, get a divorce).
Basic recipe: Combine equal parts, by weight, lemon peels
and white cane sugar. Toss to coat. Allow to sit overnight. The Most modern recipes you’ll encounter in the wild eschew plain white vinegar, but they’re written by
sugar will draw out the citrus oil from the peels and dissolve cowards. Not this guy. I love the stuff. I regularly use it in non-alcoholic cocktails to replace the kick. In
into it, producing an intoxicatingly fragrant, viscous shrubs, it provides a clean, relatively neutral canvas against which the fruit can really shine. That said, if
syrup. If I’m using the ingredient in a made-to-order you want something a little softer, white wine or cider vinegars are a good place to start. Intensely flavored
cocktail, rather than a batch, I will usually dilute with vinegars such as sherry or balsamic are usually best in smaller amounts but, as always, rules are made to
an equal portion of hot water. This has the combined effect be broken. As far as sugar goes, I’m usually partial to plain old white cane sugar for the same reason, but
of fully dissolving any remaining sugar crystals, rinsing off the lemon peels others can be worthwhile experiments. A drizzle of honey or maple probably wouldn’t hurt, but might
before they are strained off, and bringing me to the 1:1 syrup ratio I like so much. Now I can use this overwhelm if used as the only sweetener. Traditionally, the fruit would soak in vinegar alone, then be
product interchangeably with simple syrup. strained and sugar added. Many modern recipes reverse this (sugar and fruit then vinegar). I can’t seem to
find a good reason not to do it all at once, but I’ve also never done a side-by-side taste comparison (let me
Embellishments: There’s a reason lemon oleo-saccharum is the standard. It’s perfection. I’ve had some luck know if you do). In any case, don’t limit yourself to fruit alone; toss in some crushed whole spices, fresh
with other citrus (lime oleo-saccharum in a Ranch Water is divine) but I can’t honestly recommend much herbs, hell, maybe even a vegetable (beet shrubs are insanely good). A few ideas to get started:
experimentation here. Herbs and spices won’t infuse properly in dry sugar. Oranges and grapefruits don’t
really shine. This is one of the few cases where I suggest you stick to the recipe. Be creative elsewhere. strawberry + basil + white sugar + wine vinegar + balsamic vinegar
for a gin cocktail
Usage: Cocktails, n/a sodas, lemonade, drizzle over pancakes, poke holes and soak a sponge cake. As with
most of these preparations, don’t limit yourself to nights and weekends. Keep a bottle of this shit in your peach + serrano chile + allspice + white sugar + white vinegar
purse. for a tequila or whiskey cocktail

Shelf life: 1 month, but will start to lose vibrancy after 1 week. pineapple + cinnamon + cilantro + brown sugar + cider vinegar
for a mezcal cocktail

Fat Washing blackberry + vanilla + white sugar + maple + tamari + rice vinegar
for a scotch cocktail
Put some fat in some alcohol. Let it sit for a while. Freeze it. Filter it.
plum + ginger + fennel seed + white sugar + cane vinegar
Ghee, olive oil, cacao butter, peanut butter, tahini, bacon grease, schmaltz, melted cheese, etc., etc., for a vodka or rum cocktail
lipids. They’ll contribute flavor and a silky texture then solidify in the freezer for easy removal. Alcohol is
a solvent for both fat soluble and water soluble flavor molecules. beet + raspberry + lime zest + white sugar + honey + cider/sherry vinegar
for a bourbon cocktail
Basic recipe: Roughly 1-2 parts fat for every 6 parts booze. More for delicate ingredients (olive oil, butter),
less for strongly-flavored ingredients (bacon grease, cacao butter). If a fat is solid at room temperature, Usage: Traditionally, these would have been used to make non-alcoholic coolers, and that’s still a damn
gently melt it, then pour into booze, whisking or shaking to distribute. Allow to sit at room temperature fine use for them If you, or someone you know (your children, perhaps), are trying to kick a Baja Blast
for between 2-6 hours, agitating occasionally. Toss into freezer. Strain well while fat is still frozen solid. habit, this is a good substitute. Simply pour a healthy splash (around 30-60 ml) of shrub over ice and
top with soda water. Add a splash of booze and you’ve got a cocktail. Most modern cocktail recipes
Pro tip: I like to strain quickly through a coarse mesh or tea strainer to immediately remove large solids. employing shrubs also include a bit (or a lot) of citrus, but I think this is cheating. I also do it though.
I then pass through cheesecloth or a coffee filter. Otherwise, the large solids would slowly melt, then Straight vinegar cocktails are a tough sell, and I’ve got to keep the lights on. At home, I take it as George
accumulate in my fine filter material causing clogs or, more likely, migration into final product. Washington intended. I’m usually out of lemons anyway.

Uses: Use normally. Your whiskey sour just tastes like bacon now and your olive oil gin martini is even Shelf life: A while. Both vinegar and sugar are strong preservatives, especially if refrigerated. Also remember,
more silky on the palate with a subtle fruitiness.1 these predate refrigeration so don’t panic if you leave one out on the counter overnight. Many modern
recipes are still macerated/infused at room temperature. Some only cover the jar with cheesecloth or a
Shelf life: If you’ve filtered properly, shelf life is usually pretty significant: months to years. Despite what tea towel to encourage microbial action (read: complexity). Depending on your process and ingredients,
you've read on the internet, it’s extremely unlikely that you’ve successfully filtered out every single fat it’s likely that yeasts on the fruit will ferment some of the sugar into trace amounts of alcohol, which
molecule (hence the silky mouthfeel). Out of an abundance of caution, I usually keep my fat washed will then be turned into more vinegar by Acetobacter, especially if you’re using unpasteurized vinegar.
booze, especially those containing animal products, refrigerated. Heat and light (and oxygen) are your Since Acetobacter is a fermentation by-product, this is likely still true even if using pasteurized vinegar,
enemies. Will it kill you? Probably not.2 But take a sip of rancid chicharrón tequila, and you’ll wish it had. provided you allow a little fermentation to take place. Because of this process, your shrub will continue
to evolve, mellow, and harmonize over time. Eventually, the pH will get low enough to stall fermentation
so don’t worry about the whole batch turning to vinegar. Can you make a quick “shrub” in a blender or
on the stove? Sure, but you’ll likely miss the complex dance of microbial action that takes place when
you take it slow. This not only preserves the fresh bright character of your ingredients but adds subtle
nuances of it own. As with most things, quick and dirty is fine, but slow and deliberate gets breakfast in
the morning and a call next time I’m in town.

TL;DR: Several months, if not years. Good news for commercial bars that want to extend the life of n/a
syrups.

1 We once held a charity event to help cover the medical expenses of our General Manager’s portly chiauahua, Fat “Fatsy” Benatar. We created a special menu of five fat-washed cocktails and raised
$5,000. Bacon grease is liquid gold. Stop dumping it in your yard. Put it in your Manhattan.
2 Blah, blah, leave the house at your own risk, etc., etc.

38
 Chapter VIII

Cheap Tricks
I’m employing a dual-definition of the word cheap (both the connotative and denotative, if you were wondering). Some of these are simple entertainments that tickle our lizard brains. Others actually save
money and time (which is money). Some do both.

Remember, bartending—even at home (depending on who’s watching, especially at home)—is pageantry. Sure, the first priority is to make a good drink; but to look cool while doing it is a very close second.
This is hardly an exhaustive list, but the following can be achieved easily enough without professional equipment or training.

Smoke cocktail, it will soften the sharp edges of citrus, tame some of the adequate for a single drink were meant to accomplish very different
harsh tannins and phenolic compounds in certain distilled spirits goals than those of punch, implied value to customer being not the
If you have a Smoking Gun (nifty device made by Breville), use that. (whiskey, for instance), and lend a creamy mouthfeel. Hopefully, least of these. Secondly, and very much related to the first
Otherwise, try this: this goes without saying, but, use very fresh eggs. If you’re working point, punch was a marathon, not a
in a high volume cocktail bar, I encourage you to crack a few sprint. Several servings of punch
Method 1: Find a flat(ish) piece of untreated wood (a cut section before service, and give them a very brief whisk. You’re not trying were meant to be consumed,
of an old whiskey barrel is a good choice). Hit it with a torch until to incorporate air, just lightly break up some of the thicker, inner at leisure, from very small
smoking and place your glass upside down over the embers to albumen. I like to use an old school pancake syrup dispenser for vessels. As Hogarth etchings
capture the smoke. Flip it and pour in your cocktail. The same can holding my egg whites (like the ones you’d find in a diner). Not only from the time were keen to
be achieved with a plate and a sprig of rosemary and/or piece of are they glass (i.e., easy to get very clean), but the metal gate allows illustrate, this did eventually
cinnamon stick, etc. The smoke looks cool and smells good, but it you to “chop” your egg white exactly where you want it. If you’ve ever lead to inebriation, but not so
will do little to actually flavor your drink using this method. That tried to measure egg whites from a squirt bottle, you’ll know what a quickly as to ruin the night before
said, don’t discount aromatic garnishes. game changer this is. Pasteurized egg whites are perfectly acceptable, it got its breeches on (or before
and considerably less wasteful if you don’t have a use for the yolks, everyone signed the Declaration
Method 2: Use a cloche. Place smoking chips (or similar) in a small provided they don’t contain any additional ingredients. The usually of Independence,1 or whatever else
fireproof container and light with torch. Place lid over smoke and don’t froth quite as well, so I may add an extra 5-10 ml to a recipe if these punch drunks were doing
cocktail. Allow to infuse for around 1 minute. Remove lid with a I’m using pasteurized. Any more than that and your cocktail will start under their powdered wigs). I take
flourish, directing the smoke toward your guest. Depending on the to taste astringent and grainy. a page from the book of punch,
wood used, this may flavor your cocktail dramatically, for better or as often as I can, whenever making
worse. Aquafaba: Chickpea liquid. Use it as you would egg white. Vegan, batches that guests will serve themselves.
foams beautifully, kinda tastes like beans. That last part can be a The solution to pollution is dilution.
Method 3: Light a clove cigarette. Exhale smoke over the surface of blessing or curse, depending on the cocktail.
your cocktail and trap it with a bar napkin. Allow to infuse forever. Finally, there’s no law that says your
Okay, this one is just a little joke. If it works it was my idea though. Commercial foaming agent: Lots of options here, specifically made dilution has to come from plain water. This is another superpower of
for cocktails, none of them amazing. Most are based on Polysorbate large format cocktails. Most anything low or no alcohol, that’s lightly
80. The foam will not be as tall and fluffy, but it will be vegan and flavored (you don’t want a bully), can be called upon to provide
Fire shelf stable. These have an almost negligible effect on flavor and dilution: tea, apple juice, sparkling wine, ginger ale...wait.
mouthfeel, which may or may not be desirable, depending on your
Flamed citrus twist: Admittedly, this one got so overused it started intended use.
to be a bit passé. But, we all agreed to take a little break, and now
Powdered Acids
it’s admissible again—in moderation. Don’t do this every time you Homemade foaming agent: Several bartenders, myself included,
peel an orange. Don’t—I cannot stress this enough—fish the orange have been experimenting with methylcellulose blends, but I don’t Buy a bag of citric acid. It’s cheap, shelf-stable, and can be used
twist out of the Old Fashioned your bartender just delivered, and necessarily think it’s worth the trouble for home use. If you won’t be for cocktails, cooking, laundry, surface cleaning and a bunch of
flame it with a cigarette lighter. Yeah, this happened. He was alone. deterred, my recipe for fluff, which contributes texture in addition to other shit. You can dissolve 10 g of the stuff into 250 ml of water
Obviously. foam, can be found in Chapter IX. for something not entirely dissimilar to lemon juice. It’ll lack the
aromatic complexity of the real stuff, but the acid profile is there so
Get a good thick section of citrus peel, orange is most common but Whey: Underutilized, in my opinion. If you’re fortunate enough to it’s great in a pinch. How many times has a date walked out on you
grapefruit can work as well, sometimes too well. Slightly underripe have a source of whey (maybe you make your own cheese or yogurt because you didn’t have the ingredients to make an Aviation? Okay,
citrus is best, when the peels are still firm. Now light a match and or work at a place that does), put some in a cocktail. Not only will maybe never, but definitely never again.
hold it in your non-dominant hand. Pinch the citrus peel vertically, it create a very attractive foam, but it’s acidic enough to stand in for
skin side out, misting the highly-flammable citrus oil through the some of your citrus. I also use powdered acids to acidify other types of juice (apple, orange,
flame and onto your drink. The pyrotechnics look cool and the guava, etc.) to the level of lemons and limes so I can substitute them
ignited oil is wonderfully aromatic. That said, if your flame is too in recipes. How about a Whiskey Sour with acidified apple juice
big, and/or the peel is held too close, an unsightly and acrid-tasting
Batching instead of lemon? That idea alone is worth the price of this book.
black sheen may result on the surface of your drink. I know fire is
fun, believe me, but don't overdo it. In most cases, batching a cocktail is as simple as multiplying a single- At my bar, we use a combination of citric, malic, tartaric, and
serve recipe by the desired amount of servings. If the batch is to be phosphoric acid to roughly mimic—not copy—the acid profile of
Flaming sugar cube: Lemon extract. That’s the trick. Drop a sugar served without further dilution (from shaking, stirring, or pouring lime juice (adapted from an old White Lyan recipe, R.I.P.). We list
cube into a lime shell (from a previously juiced lime). Douse it with over a large amount of pebble ice, for instance) water must be added it on the menu as “fake lime.” Ever had a crystal clear Daiquiri? We
a little lemon extract, and set it alight. If you have high ceilings and to the batch. You'll remember from Chapter IV, that a standard also often tap it in for cocktails that will be carbonated, as the pulp
don’t mind making a mess, shake a salt shaker filled with ground shaken cocktail contains around 50% added dilution; for a standard in citrus juice (even well-filtered) provides nucleation points for gas
cinnamon over the flame for some extra fireworks. Looks cool and stirred cocktail, make that around 33%. I’ve developed a quick and to come out of solution. Translation: better bubbles that last longer.
smells good. Seeing a pattern yet? easy way to calculate how much water you need to add. First, get
your mix volume by adding up all your ingredients. For example: 60
ml bourbon + 20 ml lemon juice + 20 ml honey syrup (2:1) = 100
Floats/Sinks
Breathing Fire: (For Educational Use Only; Seriously, you can get
very hurt if this goes wrong): Fill your mouth with approximately ml mix.
Alcohol is less dense than water, especially water with dissolved sugar
30 ml overproof spirit, ideally 151 or higher. Create a wick with a in it (e.g., all cocktails). This means, generally speaking, that liquids
twisted bar napkin or—if you’re stupid—your bare finger dipped in Shaken cocktails: divide by 2
Stirred cocktails: divide by 3 with a higher ABV can be layered on top of liquids with a lower
booze. Light it. Blow through the flame, creating a forceful mist with ABV, or even an identical ABV if the liquid underneath has a higher
puckered lips, away from your body. Wait for your eyebrows to grow sugar content. Alcohol (ethanol in our case, at least I hope it is) is
back. Live forever. Since the Gold Rush we’re using as an example is a shaken cocktail
we’ll divide by 2, giving us 50 ml. Add that much water per serving. water-soluble, so this must be done carefully, usually with the aid of
a bar spoon and steady hand, as turbulence will cause the liquids to
More fire: check out Birthday Party in Chapter IX. combine. Stirred cocktails will often have an ABV around 25%-30%,
The more time-consuming but slightly more accurate method is to
actually shake or stir a single serving of your cocktail and measure the shaken cocktails usually hover around 15-20%, highballs and other
Foam liquid volume of the final product. Subtract mix volume to get added “long” drinks (made with a healthy dose of mixer, usually something
water per serving. Confession: I use the quick and easy method carbonated) around 10%. This means anything above that ABV
Admittedly, foams are often more than cheap tricks. Depending on 100% of the time. should conceivably float, provided the sugar content isn’t too high,
the foaming agent, they can be a fundamental part of a cocktail (a and if poured with proper technique. Bright and contrasting colors
Clover Club, for instance). That said, they are also, quite literally, If you spend any time at all reading old punch recipes (and by old are an obvious aesthetic choice (red wine and blue curaçao are
a blank canvas for stencils and such, and also how we get the push- I mean 1790s-1890s, not 1990s; I was there and it was basically perennial favorites for that reason, though not necessarily together).
pop effect with the modern Ramos Gin Fizz. They’re not not cheap schnapps and ginger ale poured over sherbet), you'll notice they’re Overproof spirits are a popular choice with tiki bartenders and the
tricks. not simply big versions of a single cocktail. There are several reasons flaming shots crowd. If the liquid you want to float is not buoyant
for this. Firstly, punch predates the single-serve cocktail by some enough (red wine, for instance), try mixing it with a bit of high proof
Egg white: Tried and true. Not only will it create an attractive time. The volumetric specs that bartenders eventually decided were spirit first, then floating.

1 It is reported that 76 bowls of punch were emptied by the founding fathers and assembled friends during the party that followed.

39
 in that weird place between good and bad that we call “interesting” certainly bears mentioning. It was developed by the United States
Less boozy and/or sweeter ingredients may sink to the bottom (translation: I’m not going to toss this, but I’m not going to consume Department of Agriculture in the early 1960s, created through the
instead. Think: grenadine in a Tequila Sunrise (see: More Better in it either), or that you simply made too damn much of. If it’s truly fermentation of simple sugars by a specific bacteria (Xanthomonas
Chapter IX, for a más mejor version). This can be equally attractive, vile, toss it. If it’s “interesting,” see how well it plays with others. You campestris, if you’re into that sort of thing). Its uses as a thickener,
and is usually easier to pull off. might be surprised. emulsifier, and stabilizer are many and, like acacia gum, not limited
to edible applications (also on the list: cosmetics, toothpaste, drilling
If you really want to be a virgin about it, we’re discussing relative The higher alcohol content of sangria means it won’t spoil as quickly mud, underwater concrete, fake skin).
density, sometimes also called specific gravity. In the case of liquids, as wine. I’m not overly pedantic about the ratio, especially at home,
this is almost always measured against water. Many factors affect this but shoot for around 1 part full-proof spirit to 4-5 parts of wine. For our purposes, we’re most interested in its considerable abilities
ratio, including temperature, air pressure, and the chemical makeup This will keep you safely in the 15-20% ABV range. Keep tasting and as a stabilizer of emulsions, both oil-water (e.g., homemade orgeat)
of the liquid solution (presence of sugar, alcohol, etc.). Be sure to adjust sweet/sour balance as you go (remember that bag of citric acid and air-water (e.g., vegan “egg white” foams). The latter is beyond
mention that at the next party you weren’t invited to. I told you to buy?). Keep an infinity batch of sangria in the fridge the intended scope of this book (and most professional bars, quite
and you’ll not only cut down on food/booze waste, but you’ll never frankly), but the former is extremely useful. Don’t ever want to
be far from a cocktail.2 make homemade orgeat? Okay, how about a homemade vinaigrette
Dehydration that actually sticks to your spinach and also never separates? You're
welcome.
For a commercial bar, this is very much a cheap trick, as it can save Gums
you a boatload of money. I use dehydrated garnishes regularly, and A popular—and psychologically devastating—hazing prank in some
often from fruit that has already been peeled for twists. This nearly If you’ve spent any time at all perusing old cocktail books, or new professional kitchens, creatively known as “xanthan towel,” involves
eliminates citrus waste in my bars, which is a considerable (avoidable) cocktail ingredients, you’ll likely have come across something called sprinkling a bit of xanthan gum on a colleague’s side towel and
expense. “gomme syrup” (or, occasionally, if they’re feeling merciful, “gum watching them mentally unravel as their hands, and then everything
syrup”). Frankly, the subject is beyond the intended scope of this they touch, become slicker and slicker. The obvious solution is to
At home, dehydration is a neat trick to have in the arsenal, especially book (I’ll say this again in the next entry) but I’ve nary met a proper wash your hands, then dry them on your seemingly innocuous towel,
when entertaining guests (both the planned and the unplanned). cocktail enthusiast who wasn’t properly enthused—and loquacious— only to have the problem not only persist, but get worse. Midas
Keep a jar of dehydrated citrus wheels in the cupboard for a quick the day they learned about gums. It’s one of those rare cheap tricks touch, but for slime. I can still hear their screams.
attractive garnish that—unlike their fresh counterparts—can be (I’ll also say this again in the next section) that is both useful and
consumed, peel and all. Dehydrated ingredients are particularly historically-important. The cocktail renaissance has churned out a lot Ticoloid 210s: If you’re a cocktail nerd, you’ve heard of this one. If not,
useful for alcohol infusions as they don’t contribute water, just pure of ‘innovation;’ some good, some bad, mostly fleeting in either case. you can live a long and happy life without ever knowing what this is.
flavor. At time of writing, a decent countertop dehydrator can be had Gums, however, are nothing new, in cocktails and elsewhere. I only mention it here to remind you that you can make your own
for around $50, but you can also use a low and slow oven for most (or something extremely close) by combining the above ingredients
ingredients. Gum arabic: also referred to as “acacia gum” and a bunch of other in a ratio of 9 parts gum arabic to 1 part xanthan. Personally, I keep
shit, is the hardened sap of two species of acacia tree. Since antiquity, them separate and only use what I need.
it has been harvested for use as a thickening agent, emulsifier, and
Bulldogs stabilizer. The name gum arabic (al-samgh al-’arabi in—you guessed
it—Arabic) has been used in the Clarification
These are called by a few different names. More often than not, Middle East since at least the ninth
they’re not called anything. I call them bulldogs because I heard it century. Today it is used in a variety If it weren’t for the somewhat recent resurgence in popularity of
a few times and I like it and this is my book. Working definition: a of products, including cosmetics, milk clarification (a renaissance in which I have actively, and happily,
cocktail with an upturned bottle of booze as both postage stamps, watercolors, and participated), I probably wouldn’t include this section in a book
ingredient and garnish. fireworks. It’s also taken as a dietary geared towards home bartenders. That said, there’s a lot of interest so
supplement, namely as a prebiotic here you go. I give and I give. You better tell your friends to buy this
Usually these are mini bottles in a single cocktail, and anti-diabetic. That last one is book. Truth be told, and despite all the pontificating bartenders do
but you can certainly go bigger (see: Muscle & ironic given how we’re about to use it. about the pains of production4 (in which I have actively, and happily,
Blood in Chapter IX). participated), milk clarification is actually dead simple to do at home.
For our purposes, we’re interested The wider topic involves a lot of jargon, but I’ll try to speak as clearly
This is the fart noise of the bartending world. You know in its ability to increase the viscosity as possible. Oh, dear. The king is tired and needs to lie down.
it’s pedestrian, but it will never not be amusing. Yes, Tex- of a cocktail.3 Theories abound about
Mex chains are in on it, but so are some of our best and why this was apparently so important to early Clarification, at least for our purposes, is a generic term for any
brightest, among them Jane Danger at Mother of Pearl bartenders. Personally, I don’t need much of a reason beyond “oh, process used to remove suspended insoluble matter from a liquid.
and Eben Freeman, formerly of Genuine Liquorette. that’s nice” and “you say they’re making this at the bar down the The methods and ingredients are many: bentonite, chitosan, isinglass,
street?” Most often the vehicle was a basic sugar syrup. Very old renet, agar agar, egg white, an expensive centrifuge, blood, etc. There
Sangria recipes may have also included sweet almonds, but they seem to are several reasons why someone might want to clarify a liquid,
have fallen out of favor even before Jerry Thomas published the first alcoholic or otherwise. The first of these is appearance. For reasons
As another effort to combat waste in my bars, we always have a batch edition of The Bar-Tender’s Guide. The sugar acted as a preservative that are uncertain, we tend to prefer the transparent beverage to the
of “garbage sangria” infusing in the walk-in. In goes cut garnishes and saved you the trouble of adding one more ingredient to your cloudy, at least where considerable human intervention is concerned
at the end of the night, “keg dregs” (not as gross as it sounds; just cocktail recipe. Now it’s just boosted simple syrup, which you were (yes, there are obvious exceptions to this; sit down please). Perhaps
the last few ounces of batched cocktails that the keg couldn’t fully probably gonna reach for anyway. Even in small amounts, syrup it signifies elegance and care. It’s certainly a bitch of a process to
dispense), and many production by-products, mostly from syrups treated this way lends an appealing silkiness to your cocktail. It get right. A winemaker that went through the trouble, and expense,
and infusions. Doing menu R&D and don’t find a home for a new allows the flavors to literally stick around on the palate a little longer of properly clarifying their juice, probably paid attention to other
preparation? Sangria. Finish a can of Luxardo cherries and can’t bring (tellingly, gum arabic is also employed in glue making). Its properties things as well (yes, there are also obvious exceptions to this, especially
yourself to toss the remaining syrup? Sangria. For the base we use as a hydrocolloid keep flavor compounds, such as essential oils, in in the currently trending world of natty wine; everyone knows
open bottles of by-the-glass wine that won’t survive our “weekend,” suspension. Its effect is subtle and nuanced, but that’s where good this; why are you the way you are and who gave you this book?).
spiked with vodka and vermouth and whatever unsampled samples a cocktails become great cocktails. Personally, I prefer it in stirred Appearance aside, the presence of sediment can be even more harsh
distributor has dropped off that week (waste not, want not). The only cocktails; the added weight and mouthfeel it provides a humble Old on the palate than it is on the eyes, as anyone who has received the
thing left to do is adjust the sweet/sour balance, then pop it in a keg. Fashioned or Sazerac is delightful. That said, I’ve seen it employed last glass of wine from an old, undecanted bottle knows all too well,
$12 a glass. Me-you-planet: win-win-win. gracefully in shaken cocktails as well. When used properly, it's like or who has had the unfortunate experience of assuring a restaurant
a long wet kiss. When done poorly, you end up chewing your, guest that the glistening crystals in the bottom of her rosé, that she
Q: How does this help me at home? otherwise lovely, Champs-Élysées (a long dry kiss). Unfortunately, just consumed, were safe and naturally-occurring tartrates, and not
A: Loads. as Hunter S. Thompson once said—and I’m paraphrasing—the only broken glass. The other reasons are more practical, and probably the
ones who know where the edge is, are those who’ve gone over. real reasons—at least initially—that these methods were developed:
If you’ve read this far, in order (more or less), you’ve likely already stability and preservation. Sediment is a ticking time bomb. It may
made a few things or are planning to, as soon as the kids are in bed or Please note: gum arabic needs to be properly hydrated, ideally contain viable yeast or bacteria. At best, this initiates an accidental
your mom goes to work (or both). This means by-products and—in a overnight, before you can work with it. The internet is full of secondary fermentation, and you accidentally discover Champagne.
month or so—the realization that your good intentions are taking up methods for shortcutting this, but I find them all even more tedious At worst, your fancy wine turns to vinegar or, more likely, just bad
space in your refrigerator, on your liquor cabinet, or under your bed. than just planning ahead. If you have time to peer over 1,000 years wine (or beer, cider, punch, etc.).
Being overly ambitious is good. It means you had the courage to try into the past for your cocktail ingredients, you have time to peer 8
something that wasn’t guaranteed. Not every experiment is going to hours into the future to prepare them. There are recipes for gomme Protein clarification­—milk being only one of many viable
work out and that’s okay. Not every French apertif wine you purchase syrup and pineapple gomme at the end of the book. ingredients—has been used for centuries to clarify everything from
is going to be consumed on a balmy terrace before it goes off.1 You wine to chicken stock to punch. If you've ever made consommé
don’t even have a stoop. What were you thinking? For that, there’s Xanthan gum: This one doesn’t have nearly the illustrious history of with the aid of an egg white, you’ll know the process well. If you’ve
sangria. Open wine, fruit past its prime, syrups and infusions that are the former, but its modern use—in both cocktails and cooking— ever used blood to clarify wine (I wasn’t kidding), you’ll know the
process even better. For reasons I will explain shortly, milk became

1 For me, this is Dubbonet. I just don’t see how people drink this on its own.
2 If that sounds like a recipe for disaster, remember that sangria makes a great gift for your hepatologist.
3 Okay, yes, and its ability to look cool on a menu and potentially spur a needlessly long conversation with a poor and unsuspecting guest.
4 In large quantities, like the quantities we were making at my former bar, this is true. Due to the popularity of our CMP, we were obliged to filter our batches through a nearly 1 meter long, 100 micron
mesh Superbag (affectionately called the “gorilla condom”), suspended from the ceiling of our walk-in cooler. This required the aid of a step ladder, a gentle hand, and an iron will, to pour 20 L of curdled punch,
from a completely full Cambro, into a flaccid bag that would sometimes spring a spontaneous leak (or several). I can still hear their screams.

40
the clarifying agent of choice for cocktails, so it’s what we will focus form a sort of net, which catches harsh tannins, polyphenols, colorants, sloppy (lolz) or made with a salty lacto-fermented ingredient, for
on here. and other suspended particles (bits of citrus pulp, etc.). These are instance—may not benefit from a salt rim at all. Furthermore, if
removed, with the raft of curds, during filtration, effectively shaving using a prepared salt (Tajín, for instance), the incursion into your
The earliest known recipe for clarified milk punch dates to 1711, off some of the rough edges of the tea and spirit, and polishing the drink may look unsightly. A properly shaken margarita is a thing
attributed to English housewife, Mary Rockett. The earliest known expression of the citrus. Furthermore, and perhaps just as important, of beauty: opalescent with the slightest tint of green. Flecks of red
mention of clarified milk punch predates that by about 100 years, some amount of whey protein (which doesn’t precipitate as readily as floating around in the liquid, however, will make it look like a petri
and is attributed to none other than Aphra Behn. If you’re not the casein), and lactic acid, and—be warned—lactose, remain behind. dish. Is this worth fussing over at the local dive bar? Of course not.
literary type (e.g., high school was okay for you), just know that she This result is a creamy mouthfeel and a considerably more complex Use the round sponge thing that has a brand logo on the side and
was the first woman, at least in England, to support herself entirely acid (and, to some extent, sugar) profile. If you haven’t yet had the get that drink in my hand before my song comes on the TouchTunes.
through writing. She also threw one hell of a party, where the CMP pleasure of enjoying one, properly made, immediately head to the I don’t care if it has a little acne. But if you’re not a dive or, more
flowed like wine. best bar in town. Ask if they start with an oleo-saccharum. If not, flip importantly, if you’re at home and trying to impress someone, keep
to Chapter IX and make you own. If they do, have a couple of theirs, it neat, keep it clean, keep it outside the glass. Let the drinker decide
If you’ve never made clarified milk punch before, it can be a lot to then flip to Chapter IX, and make an even better one. how much garnish to consume and when.
wrap your head around. So I’m going to first explain the process, in
plain(ish) English. You can attempt the recipe in Chapter IX when Then we strain. Your milk punch will technically be ready to strain What to moisten the glass with? Anything that’s moist: citrus wedge,
you're good and ready. just after it curdles. If I’m making a small test batch, that’s what I’ll cut fruit, paintbrush dipped in simple syrup, spray bottle filled with
do (maybe I’ll wait an hour, but no more). That said, if I know the diluted honey, etc. If you’re making drinks for yourself, or someone
We’ll begin by making an intensely-flavored punch. The recipe is viable, and I have the time, I’ll let the punch rest on the who is into spit play: your tongue. Okay, I say that last part (mostly)
clarification process is going to tame the final product considerably, curds overnight before straining. In my experience, this noticeably in jest, but I want you to keep the tongue in mind when moistening
so we’ll need to overdue it a bit, but not too much (think: Pacino in improves the clarity and texture of the final punch. Bartenders your glass, because we’re looking for a thin, but thorough, layer of
Heat, not Dunaway in Mommy Dearest). For me—and most other disagree on this point (the chemistry is, admittedly, unsettled; MIT moisture—like licking an envelope. Too dry, and your garnish wont
bartenders over the past several centuries or so—this begins with an doesn’t have a cocktail lab—yet), but I think whatever magic the milk adhere; too sparse, and it will be patchy; too wet, and you’ll get
oleo-saccharum (flip back a chapter if that’s a new term). Can you is working needs at least 12 hours to fully do its thing. unsightly clumps, both on the glass and in the garnish dish. In fact,
make a clarified milk punch without one? Sure, and plenty of modern if I’m using a garnish that is finely grained (sugar or table salt, for
bartenders do. Just make sure you’re replacing those strong flavors Remember, the curds are the real filter here. If you’re doing this at instance), on a thin glass that has been pre-chilled (either in a freezer
with others, or your punch will come out insipid. My benchmark home, a wet paper coffee filter is probably your best bet (a Chemex is or force-chilled with ice water or pebble ice), I may simply rely upon
recipe—based on one published by Jerry Thomas in 1862, then great for this), but you can also use cheesecloth, wet paper napkins, the condensation on the outside of the glass. I find this gives me
reworked by Michael Lay (Faith & Flower, Broken Spanish, even a tea towel. Whatever filter medium you choose, the first pass, a much more uniform canvas for an elegant dusting. Drips lead to
MINA Group) in 2014—also calls for whole spices and a peeled or at least the first portion of the first pass, will still be cloudy. Not to clumps, clumps lead to hate. Remember the tongue. Be the tongue.
pineapple, which I usually go ahead and add to the sugar while the worry, simply (and gently) pour your partially clarified punch back
oleo-saccharum is coming together. We won’t extract too much flavor through a second time, being careful not to disturb the collected How much of the rim/glass should you cover? Well, that’s up to you.
from them using sugar alone, but the smell is intoxicating and we’ll curds and create channeling. You want the liquid to pass slowly My personal go-to is a relatively thick band (about 2 cm), on one
add booze soon enough. Ground spices are okay in a pinch, but the through the curds on its way to the bottom of the filter. Finished side of the glass. Not only do I think it looks more interesting, but it
flavors won’t be as vibrant. punch should be completely transparent, with perhaps a slight gives your guest the ability to chose their own adventure (i.e., often
golden hue (think: chardonnay). If there’s any cloudiness or wisps of no need to ask about their rim preference). Feel free to get more
Next, we’ll add our hot tea, citrus juice, and booze (i.e., everything sediment whatsoever, filter again. Once I’m happy with the level of dramatic though. If you’re working with stemware, I see no good
but the milk). Adding the tea first, while still hot, ensures that any clarity, I still usually run it through a new, wet paper coffee filter one reason you could not, if compelled, cover the entire outside of the
remaining sugar in the oleo-saccharum is completely dissolved. Would last time. This is probably overkill, but that’s also my middle name bowl, or at least one side. I do draw the line at being able to actually
it probably dissolve anyway during the overnight infusion? Yeah, (this book started as a pamphlet). hold the damn thing, so no dust on the stem, please.
so? Would monsters probably not bite off my arm if I slept with it
hanging over the side of my bed? The point is, why risk it? Consume within 100 years or so. At risk of killing you, I’ll simply Keep in mind, the liquid, though secondary, will still contribute
say that, in reasonably sterile conditions, if you’ve done everything flavor to the garnish. Want it to stay of the way completely? Use
Why tea? Because it tastes good and that’s what the old timers used. right, or mostly right, clarified milk punch should last a good long water/condensation. Need a little sweetness with no additional
Modern chemistry would suggest an affinity between milk and tea while. In fact, it should ideally be shelf-stable. That said, heat and flavor? Simple syrup. Want sweetness and additional flavor? Diluted
that we really didn’t need modern chemistry to tell us about but light are the enemies of long storage, even for “shelf-stable” products, maple, honey, molasses, sorghum, Tabasco, Chamoy, etc. Pop of
is interesting nonetheless. Without getting too in the weeds: milk so if you have the fridge space (or a nice cool cellar), you might as well acid? The humble citrus wedge.
tames the harsh astringency of tannins (found in tea) while tannins use it. Can it actually kill you? Probably not. The acid and alcohol
(found in tea, and also in wine, and wood-aged spirits) provide a content are high enough to murder pretty much anything truly Okay, now you roll the edge in something dry(ish). This is where
refreshing reset to the creamy mouthfeel of the milk punch. Oh, to nefarious. That said, even in perfect storage conditions, it will evolve. things can get interesting (I’ll need to review how many times I’ve
hell with it; here’s the weeds: tannins are phenolic compounds that The clarification process strips out pretty much all of the sediment said that after I finish this book, and delete most of them). Even in
are particularly fond of binding to things, especially proteins, such that can be used as a nucleation site for bacterial growth. That doesn’t the realm of plain old salt and sugar, you have options. Consider
as the lubricating proteins (called mucins) on the mucus membranes mean it strips out everything. The tannins that remain will slowly the grain size. For salt, we can start with ubiquitous and dependable
inside our mouths, or the residual whey proteins left behind in a milk polymerize, bind to other phenolic compounds, and eventually table salt. Great on popcorn (kosher salt is too heavy) and easy to
punch after clarification. This temporarily prevents the lubricating precipitate out of solution. This will affect the flavor and appearance apply from either dish or shaker. If you’re in a landlocked state, you
film on our tongue from refreshing itself, producing a drying effect. of your punch, though not drastically, and sometimes in a pleasant could probably benefit from the extra iodine. Table salt will provide
When done properly, this causes you to want another sip. Dynamic way. I’ve had one year old CMP, that just kept getting better. I’ve had little in the way of a textural dynamic, as it will mostly dissolve the
tension, baby. CMP (different recipe) that was revelatory on day one but nearly moment it hits your tongue. This may be desirable, or you may enjoy
undrinkable on day thirty. Three centuries ago, preservation was a the added dimension of a coarser variety, such as kosher salt, flaky
We’ll then curdle some milk. I like whole milk. I’ve done limited big draw for why we made clarified milk punch in the first place. sea salt or­—if you’re a horse—pretzel salt. The same can be said
experiments with other milks, including buttermilk and alternative For most of us, that’s no longer a major concern. I don’t recommend of sugar. The aesthetic and textural differences that run the gamut
milks, but whole is the winner. I know you’re itching to try heavy batches that can’t be consumed within a month or so but, as with between confectioner’s sugar to sanding sugar (neither of which do I
cream but, trust me, it doesn’t work as well. If you’re vegan, or retired, most things in this book, feel free to experiment. particularly recommend) are considerable. For my money, in the rare
by all means experiment away. Just be aware that the following recipe instances that I’m called upon to do a sugar rim, plain old white cane
will likely not work without a little tweaking; alternative milks, in sugar is the one for me.
particular, will need a little additional push to break, usually with
Rimming
the addition of heat or a more concentrated hit of acid (contrary to Commercially available varieties of salt and sugar are abundant. I’ve
popular belief, whole milk doesn't need to be heated). Even then, the Go ahead and get the giggling out of your system. Okay, let’s had a lot of fun with smoked salts, sal de gusano (made with dried
curds may not be sufficient to clarify the punch to the exclusion of all proceed. and ground agave worms), Himalayan pink and Hawaiian black lava
visible sediment. If you have other things going on in your life, this salts (mostly for looks rather than much difference in taste), etc. I
may not be a huge issue. For me, this is devastating. I’ll stick to whole When done properly, a rimmed glass can elevate—sometimes find commercial brown sugar to be a bit too wet, though demerara/
milk, thank you very much. considerably—your drinking experience. When done improperly, it turbinado can work. The real magic happens when you mix up your
can ruin the aesthetics, balance, and delivery (e.g., sticky fingers), of own. Microplane a little lime zest into your margarita salt, maybe add
If you read any CMP recipes, like, at all, you’ll hopefully have noticed an otherwise quality drink. Let’s take, for instance, one of the most a pinch of citric acid if you’ve got it. Pulse up some dried lavender,
that most call for the strained punch to be added to the milk, rather recognizable examples currently in use: the salted margarita glass. or a vanilla bean, and shake it up with sugar (actually, a pinch of
than the other way around. This is sound advice, as it allows the milk When done properly, the salt provides a welcome boost to the savory citric acid wouldn’t hurt here either). Herbs, spices, citrus zest, dried
to curdle only after most of the punch has been incorporated and the elements of blanco tequila and lime. As we know from the culinary flowers, burned corn husks (yes), are all welcome additions. Also,
pH lowers below 4.6, the point at which casein proteins precipitate world, salt can elevate certain flavors; drinks are no exception. When there no law against mixing salt and sugar. Look at kettle corn.
out of solution. If you do it the other way around, the milk will done improperly, the salt can overwhelm the cocktail, look like shit,
start to curdle the moment it hits the acidic punch, before it has a and end up inside the glass and/or on the table. Let’s first explore how Now you know how to give rim jobs.
chance to incorporate into the entire batch, leading to less-efficient to avoid these common pitfalls, then dive into some ways to make
clarification. Will you ruin everything if you forget and add the milk the humble rim more exciting.
to the punch? Eh, probably not. You may be able to save it by adding
a bit more milk (or, better yet, adding the punch to a bit more milk), Firstly, you need to moisten the outside rim of the glass. Why
but it’s not ideal. Again, not the end of the world. Probably. only the outside? Because we want to avoid our garnish from
getting inside the drink. Admittedly, a few flakes of salt falling
Why does this work? As the liberated casein proteins aggregate, they into a margarita is not the end of the world, but it will season your
cocktail in an unpredictable way. A pré-salé 5 margarita—one rimmed The End.

5 A French term for lambs that have been raised and grazed in salt marsh meadows and whose meat is, therefore, already partially seasoned. I think it works well here.

41
 Chapter IX

The Recipes
I’ve kept these simple, nearly identical to the service recipes I give my bartenders. The reasons for this are twofold: 1) You’re not stupid 2) It looks better.
If something is confusing, don’t stress. It’s a cocktail, not a live birth. Follow a few key tenets and you’ll be fine.

Don’t use shit ingredients.

A chain is only as strong as a penny earned (or whatever). Don’t buy good whiskey just to shake it up with pasteurized lemon juice. You don’t have to—and shouldn’t (see next note)—spend a fortune but
you do have to respect yourself enough to refrigerate your vermouth and dispose of those green cherries you bought for St. Patty’s Day (3 years ago). I’ve only specified particular brands where I think it
really matters, but even here, feel free to experiment.

Don’t use expensive ingredients.

Not for cocktails. If the bottle’s made of glass, you’re probably golden. I make exceptions for pricey liqueurs, that are used sparingly.

Don’t agitate carbonated ingredients.

Hopefully this goes without saying. If stirring, you’ll stir out all the bubbles; If shaking, your tins will explode. I’ve tried to notate this clearly in the recipes, but I know a few of you will only actually
read them carefully once there’s cocktail dripping from your ceiling fan. For built cocktails, and those topped with a carbonated ingredient, a couple of gentle rotations with a barspoon is all you need for
incorporation.

Smoke ‘em if you’ve got ‘em.

If a drink is served in a rocks glass, and you’ve got large format clear cubes, feel free to use ‘em. They’re beautiful, they melt slowly, and they’re easy to make at home (as you’ll know from Chapter III). That
said, your cocktails will be perfectly fine on plain old cube ice. Please note: if your ice tastes gross (dirty ice machine or bad water source or both), so will your cocktails. Invest in some cheap trays and a
basic water filter.

Relax.
There’s always beer.

Classic Cocktails
vintage & modern

20th Century Alaska Aperol Spritz

C.A. Tuck, Café Royal, London, 1937 Jacques Straub, Drinks, 1914 Luigi & Silvio Barbieri (creators of Aperol), Padua, 1950s

45 ml gin 45 ml Old Tom gin 90 ml prosecco

15 ml lemon juice 20 ml Yellow Chartreuse 60 ml Aperol
15 ml Cocchi Americano 1 dash orange bitters 30 ml club soda
15 ml white crème de cacao stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon or orange twist build/wine glass/cube ice/orange slice
shake/fine strain/nick & nora/lemon twist
Alexander Archangel
Adonis Troy Alexander, Rector’s, NYC, c.1904-1913 Michael McIlroy & Richard Boccato, Milk & Honey, NYC, 2006
Joseph F. McKone, Hoffman House, NYC, 1884
30 ml gin or brandy 67 ml gin
45 ml amontillado sherry 30 ml white crème de cacao 20 ml Aperol
45 ml sweet vermouth 30 ml heavy cream 2 slices bruised cucumber
2 dashes oranges bitters shake/fine strain/coupe/fresh grated nutmeg stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist
stir/strain/nick & nora/orange twist
Amaretto Sour Army & Navy
Alabazam (original) Promotional cocktail for Amaretto di Saronno, 1974 David A. Embury, Fine Art of Mixing Drinks, 1948 (first recorded)
Leo Engel, American and Other Drinks, 1878 Update by Jeffrey Morgenthaler, Clyde Common, Portland, 2012
60 ml gin
60 ml cognac 45 ml amaretto 20 ml lemon juice
30 ml lemon juice 20 ml overproof bourbon 20 ml orgeat
15 ml Cointreau 30 ml lemon juice 1 dash Angostura bitters
20 ml simple syrup (1:1) 7 ml simple syrup (1:1)
15 ml egg white shake/fine strain/coupe/lemon twist
1 barspoon Angostura bitters
shake/fine strain/coupe dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/rocks glass/cube ice/lemon twist Arsenic & Old Lace
(expressed and discarded) & picked cocktail cherry Crosby Gaige, Cocktail Guide & Ladies’ Companion, 1941
Alabazam (widely known) 60 ml gin
William Schmidt, The Flowing Bowl: When and What to Drink, 1892 Americano
Gaspare Campari, Caffè Campari, Milan, 1880s 20 ml dry vermouth
60 ml cognac 7 ml crème de violette
30 ml lemon juice 45 ml sweet vermouth 2 dashes absinthe (or glass rinse)
30 ml Cointreau 45 ml Campari
120 ml club soda stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist
20 ml simple syrup (1:1)
2 dashes orange bitters build/collins/cube ice/orange wedge
60 ml club soda
American Trilogy
build/collins/cube ice/orange slice
Richard Boccato & Michael McIlroy, Little Branch, NYC, 2007

Airmail 35 ml rye
Bacardi and Its Many Uses (pamphlet), 1930s 35 ml apple brandy
30 ml white rum 7 ml simple syrup (1:1)
15 ml lime juice 2 dashes orange bitters
15 ml honey syrup (2:1) stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/orange & lemon twists
60 ml Champagne (to top; do not shake)
shake/fine strain/coupe/top/lime wheel

42
Atholl Brose Bijou Bosom Caresser
John Stewart (1st Earl of Atholl), Scottish Highlands, 1475 Harry Johnson, Bartenders’ Manual, 1900 Possibly: Leo Engel, American and Other Drinks, 1880

60 ml scotch 45 ml gin 60 ml cognac

45 ml oat milk 30 ml sweet vermouth 15 ml Cointreau
45 ml honey syrup (2:1) 15 ml Green Chartreuse 15 ml rainwater Madeira
30 ml heavy cream (optional) 1 dash orange bitters 7 ml grenadine
shake/fine strain/coupe/fresh grated nutmeg stir/strain/nick & nora/picked cocktail cherry
1 egg yolk

Legend has it that Stewart concocted the creamy beverage in dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/sunken cocktail cherry
order to foil an attack by Iain MacDonald, the rebellious Earl of Bitter Giuseppe
Steven Cole, The Violet Hour, Chicago, 2009
I first spotted this on a reproduction cocktail menu at the Museum
Ross. After discovering the well from whence MacDonald drew of the American West in Los Angeles (My girlfriend-at-the-time’s
his water, Stewart had the well spiked with a combination of oats, 60 ml Cynar father was the first to notice it). The earliest printed recipe that
honey, and—this is the important part—whisky. MacDonald, 30 ml sweet vermouth I can find is from 1880, where it is listed as brandy shaken with
apparently not keen to look a gift horse in the mouth, drank 7 ml lemon juice strawberry syrup and a whole egg. The next reference I find is
his fill and was easily captured thereafter. Multiple variations on not until nearly five decades later, in Harry MacElhone’s Barflies
6 dashes orange bitters
the tale exist, but that’s the gist. “Brose” is the Scots word for an and Cocktails (1927), which is much closer to the recipe I have
uncooked grain porridge. pinch of salt (optional)
listed above. A few years later, Harry Craddock will include one
1 lemon twist (optional) in The Savoy Cocktail Book (1930), which is similar but removes
Another popular legend involves a brave lad named Dougal and
a giant; same trick, different characters. In any case, it’s lovely, stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/lemon twist the Madeira (a mistake, in my correct opinion). More research is
particularly on a chilly day. Consider serving it during your next needed. This is the one they’ll remember me for.
The optional ingredients, individually or in combination, are
Hogmanay (non-Scots may refer to this as New Year’s Eve). often assumed to be a part of the original recipe, but they actually
Boulevardier
come from a later riff developed by Kirk Estopinal of NOLA’s Erskine Gwynne, Harry’s New York Bar, Paris, c.1927
Aviation Cane & Table. I like the salt. I find the lemon twist—meant to
Hugo Ensslin, Recipes for Mixed Drinks, 1916 be expressed then dropped into the mixing glass before stirring 45 ml bourbon or rye whiskey
(some bartenders add several)—overpowering, but to each their 20 ml Campari
60 ml gin
own. 20 ml sweet vermouth
20 ml lemon juice
7 ml maraschino liqueur stir/strain/coupe/orange twist
Black Russian
7 ml crème de violette Gustave Tops, Hotel Metropole, Brussels, 1949
shake/fine strain/coupe/sunken cocktail cherry Bradford
60 ml vodka Harry Johnson, Bartenders’ Manual, 1900
30 ml coffee liqueur
Bamboo 45 ml gin (preferably Old Tom)
Louis Eppinger, San Francisco or Portland (but not Yokohama), 1870s build/rocks glass/cube ice 45 ml dry vermouth
45 ml fino sherry Predecessor to the White Russian. 3-4 dashes orange bitters
45 ml dry vermouth 2 lemon twists (in the shaker)
1 dash orange bitters Blood & Sand shake/fine strain/nick & nora/picked olive
Harry Craddock, The Savoy Cocktail Book, 1930
1 dash Angostura bitters
These days, a Bradford is the term used to describe any shaken
stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist 20 ml scotch iteration of a classic Martini, but this—the oldest known
20 ml orange juice recipe—is distinctive enough to deserve its own entry.
Bee’s Knees 20 ml cherry heering
Frank Meier, Hôtel Ritz, Paris, 1929 20 ml sweet vermouth Bramble
Dick Bradsell, Fred’s Club, London, 1989
60 ml gin shake/fine strain/nick & nora
20 ml lemon juice It’s become fashionable of late to malign this cocktail. To be fair, 60 ml gin
20 ml honey syrup (2:1) it’s not great. I only include it here because it is (in)famous and, 30 ml lemon juice
admittedly, has a great name (based on a 1922 bullfighter movie 15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
shake/fine strain/coupe/lemon wheel
of the same name, which itself was based on a 1909 novel of the 15 ml crème de mûre (sink)
Though David A. Embury, in his 1948 The Fine Art of Mixing same name). That said, it’s fun—and easy—to improve upon:
build/pebble ice/lemon wedge & blackberry/straw
Drinks, speaks disparagingly of the cocktail as simply a mask for Obvious tweaks are to add some damn acid (or acidify the orange
American bootleg gin—a theory that is still repeated—it is now juice), and up the whisky. Let me know what you come up with.
clear that the cocktail was, in fact, invented in Paris. Cocktails
de Paris (1929) by Georges Gabriel Thenon (pen name: Rip) Bloody Mary
plausibly credits Meier for its inception. However, a curious George Jessel and/or Fernand “The Frog” Petiot, Paris/NYC/Palm Beach, 1920s
Parisian newspaper article from the same year about female-only
bars credits none other than Titanic-survivor Margaret Brown 60 ml vodka
aka “the Unsinkable Molly Brown.” If everything you know 120 ml tomato juice
about the Titanic comes from the 1997 James Cameron movie, 15 ml lemon juice
it’s Kathy Bates’ character. pinch of salt
pinch of black pepper
Between the Sheets 3 dashes Worcestershire sauce
Harry MacElhone, Harry’s New York Bar, Paris, 1920s (disputed) 3 dashes Tabasco sauce
20 ml white rum roll/fine strain/collins/cube ice/celery stalk
20 ml cognac
One of the ten Master Recipes from Chapter VI. Flip back for
30 ml Cointreau
more information.
15 ml lemon juice
shake/fine strain/nick & nora/orange twist Bobby Burns
Bishop & Babcock Co., Fancy Drinks, 1900
Bicycle Thief 60 ml blended scotch whisky
Zachary Gelnaw-Rubin & Abraham Hawkins, Dutch Kills, NYC, 2012
20 ml sweet vermouth
30 ml gin 7 ml Bénédictine
30 ml Campari stir/strain/coupe/lemon twist
45 ml grapefruit juice
15 ml lemon juice Originally published as Baby Burns (a far superior name, in my
15 ml simple syrup (1:1) opinion), it would eventually be listed as both Bobby/Bobbie
Burns, and Robert Burns in later publications. Though often
60 ml soda water (to top; do not shake)
consumed on Burns Night (January 25), in honor of the late
whip shake/dump/collins/cube ice/top/orange slice Scottish poet, there’s compelling evidence that the Robert Burns
in question may have been—originally at least—a New York
cigar salesman (of course he is) by the same name. We’re not sure
who the baby is.

43
Braulio Shakerato Brown Derby/De Rigueur Chartreuse Swizzle
Leah George Brown, Hart’s, NYC, c.2020 Norman Hume Anthony aka “Judge Jr.,” Here’s How, 1927 Marcovaldo Dionysos, Harry Denton’s Starlight Room, San Francisco, 2003

60 ml Braulio 60 ml bourbon 45 ml Green Chartreuse

reverse dry shake/dump/nick & nora
20 ml grapefruit juice 30 ml pineapple juice
15 ml honey syrup (2:1) 20 ml lime juice
The technique has been popular in Italy for generations, but 7 ml lemon juice (optional) 15 ml Velvet Falernum
has been slow to find footing in the States (unless you count
Starbucks, which I do not). The Caffè Shakerato, a simple mix shake/fine strain/coupe/grapefruit twist swizzle/collins/pebble ice/mint & fresh grated nutmeg/straw
of espresso, ice, and usually a small amount of sweetener, shaken A prime example of cocktail drift. Originally calling for scotch (my You don’t need a bois lélé (Caribbean swizzle stick) to make this.
until frothy, was born in Puglia in the 1950s and continues personal preference, in which case I still call it a De Rigueur—as Just spin a barspoon between both hands (like you’re starting
to be a popular serve. The Campari Shakerato, popularized at modern guests expect bourbon otherwise), it makes its second a fire) until some of the ice melts and the ingredients are
Milan’s legendary Camparino bar the 1960s, takes a simple shot appearance in The Savoy Cocktail Book (1930), calling simply for incorporated. Honestly, you could do a whip shake and dump
of Campari and gives it the business. The chill, dilution, and “whisky” (in terms of spelling, to “e” or not to “e” wasn’t firmly- and skip this step entirely without the drink suffering irreparable
aeration pleasantly lightens and brightens the aperitivo, bringing established at the time—frankly, it still isn’t—so don’t take that damage. That said, it does have swizzle in the name, so maybe
citrus notes forward and providing a delicate frothy texture if as a clue). By 1933 it—along with several other Savoy recipes—is be a sport.
consumed quickly. copied into George Buzza Jr.’s Hollywood Cocktails, and renamed
Over the years, bartenders have experimented with other amari the Brown Derby, purportedly a reference to a local restaurant Chet Baker
with mixed results. The process does not unequivocally improve shaped like a hat. There’s no evidence this was ever served there or Sam Ross, Milk & Honey, NYC, 2005
most; in fact, it usually has the opposite effect. Braulio, the at Billy Wilkerson’s nearby Vendôme Club, as is often reported.
60 ml aged rum
juniper scented Alpine standby, is one notable exception, and I’ve included an optional splash of lemon juice, because it
my personal favorite. For starters, it producers a rich foam that 7 ml sweet vermouth
desperately needs it. Treating the grapefruit juice with a small bit 1 barspoon honey syrup (2:1)
cascades like Guinness before settling out into an attractive of acid powder would also do the trick.
and long-lasting head. Unlike many other digestivos, whose 2 dashes Angostura bitters
flavors simply get muddied and muted by the process, Braulio stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/orange twist
Bullshot
perks up, providing clarity of flavor that is a little buried at John Hurley & Lester Gruber, Caucus Club, Detroit, 1955
room temperature (think: tuning the rabbit ears of an old box
Chrysanthemum
television). 60 ml vodka Hugo R. Ensslin, Recipes for Mixed Drinks, 1916
I am indebted for this particular discovery to Brad Thomas 120 ml beef broth
15 ml lemon juice 75 ml dry vermouth
Parsons, who in late 2021 and early 2022 wrote a series of articles
for Punch detailing his experiments with Robby Dow and Ally 3 dashes Worcestershire sauce 15 ml Bénédictine
Marrone of Brooklyn’s Grand Army. All told, they tested 47 3 dashes Tabasco sauce 3 dashes absinthe
bottles. Braulio was the only perfect score. stir/strain/nick & nora/orange twist
roll/fine strain/rocks glass/cube ice/orange wedge
If you only try a few recipes from this book, be sure this is one
It’s a Bloody Mary riff, sure, but it deserves it’s own entry for two
of them. Braulio’s not cheap, but you have my permission to Clover Club
reasons. 1.) It’s underrated and needs to make a return. 2.) The Bellevue-Stratford Hotel, Philadelphia, c.1890s
splurge just this once; you won’t regret it. I make these for guests
story is too good: In 1954 or 1955, John Hurley, an advertising
almost nightly, and they never cease to be amazed by the simple
executive at BBDO (think MadMen, but Detroit), complains 45 ml gin
alchemy of ice and air. It’s a cocktail stripped down to its axles.
to famed restaurateur Lester Gruber that he’s having trouble 15 ml dry vermouth
As such, it’s an object lesson in the fundamentals. Grab a bottle
marketing Campbell’s canned consommé. Lester has an idea. It’s 15 ml lemon juice
and go to school.
a hit. 15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
Brooklyn I’ve taken Dale DeGroff’s sage advice and employed an orange 3 raspberries
Jacob Abraham Grohusko, Jack’s Manual, 1908 garnish (an idea which occurred to him while eating beef with 15 ml egg white
orange at a Chinese restaurant).
60 ml rye whiskey muddle/dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/picked raspberry
15 ml dry vermouth Replace half of the beef broth with tomato juice for a Bloody
7 ml maraschino liqueur Bull. Cobra’s Fang
Donn Beach, Don the Beachcomber, Hollywood, c.1937
7 ml Amer Picon (see note)
Caipirinha
stir/strain/nick & nora Brazilian traditional c.1850s 75 ml Smith & Cross rum
Modern iteration c.1950s 15 ml 151-proof demerara rum
Full disclosure: the original recipe called for sweet vermouth. By 15 ml falernum
1914, in Jacques Straub’s Drinks—through mistake or design—it 60 ml cachaça
15 ml lime juice
had switched to dry. This is how I prefer it, but follow your heart. 2 heaping barspoons demerara sugar
15 ml orange juice
At time of writing, Amer Picon is not available in the United 3 lime wedges
15 ml fassionola
States. This is due to an obscure FDA regulation from the 1960s muddle sugar and lime/add booze/shake with ice/dump (do not 1 dash absinthe
banning calamus root, one of the ingredients in this lovely, strain)/rocks glass/cube ice/lime wedge 1 dash Angostura bitters
orange-scented, bittersweet, French liqueur. Calamus contains
beta-asarone, which is potentially carcinogenic (when injected Roughly translated as “country bumpkin,” the modern Caiprinha whip shake/dump/collins/pebble ice/mint & lime wheel/straw
directly into mice at extremely high doses). Yeah, well, apple is Brazil’s counter-reaction to cocktail culture (similar to the role
the Old Fashioned occupied in the 1850s). It is intented to be Traditionally, this would have been mixed in an electric blender,
seeds contain cyanide. All I’m saying is pack light next time you
direct and unadorned—highlighting the funky, vegetal, unsubtle not shaken. In which case, blitz with around 90 g of ice until
go to France. In the meantime, Amaro Ciociaro, Bigallet China-
China, and Amer Torani are all solid substitutes. nature of Brazil’s national spirit, made from fermented sugarcane desired consistency is reached.
juice. With this in mind, don’t be precious about the recipe. You
Brooklynite will not offend either myself, or the people of Brazil, if you use Coffee Cocktail
plain old white sugar, or forego shaking altogether. That said, “Major” Flynn, Shakespeare Inn, NYC, c.1885
Eddie Whittmer, The Stork Club Bar Book, 1946
lime oil is as much a part of the drink as the juice, so please don’t
60 ml Jamaican rum 60 ml ruby port
skip the muddling.
20 ml lime juice 30 ml cognac
20 ml honey syrup (2:1) 15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
Cardinale
2 dashes Angostura bitters Amedeo Gandiglio, Cocktails Portfolio, 1947 1 whole egg

shake/fine strain/coupe/lime wheel 30 ml gin dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/fresh grated nutmeg
30 ml dry vermouth As you probably noticed, there’s no coffee in here. Supposedly, the
30 ml Campari name derives from its resemblance to café au lait (making it the
“little beer” of the late nineteenth century). As a posthumously
stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/orange slice published 1887 edition of The Bar-Tender’s Guide notes, it also
doesn’t contain bitters and therefore can’t (at the time, at least) be
Champs-Élysées properly considered a cocktail.
Nina Toye & A.H. Adair, Drinks—Long & Short, 1925
Appellative shortcomings aside, it’s a rich and tasty concoction
45 ml cognac which had its day cut short by Prohibition. Let’s fix that.
20 ml lemon juice
15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
15 ml Green Chartreuse
1 dash Angostura bitters
shake/fine strain/nick & nora

44
Corn ‘n’ Oil Death Flip Eggnog
Traditional Bajan planter’s drink, c.1700s Chris Hysted-Adams, The Black Pearl, Melbourne, 2010 unknown, American Middle Colonies, c.1788

30 ml aged rum 30 ml blanco tequila Batch Recipe:

45 ml falernum 15 ml Yellow Chartreuse
12 eggs
20 ml lime juice 15 ml Jägermeister
450 g white cane sugar
30 ml blackstrap rum 1 whole egg
3 g kosher salt
1 dash Angostura Bitters dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/fresh grated nutmeg 400 ml aged rum (700 ml if aging)
whip shake first 3 ingredients/dump/collins/pebble ice/top with 400 ml cognac (700 ml if aging)
blackstrap rum and bitters/straw Diamondback Lounge 200 ml amontillado sherry
unknown, Lord Baltimore Hotel, c.1933-1951
The earliest known written reference to this cocktail comes from 800 ml heavy cream
Ted Saucier, Bottoms Up, 1951
a 1911 recipe for falernum. That said, it was likely being made— 800 ml whole milk
in some version and possibly under a different name—for quite 45ml rye whiskey • add eggs to blender and blend on low until smooth
some time before; falernum was developed on the island in the 20 ml apple brandy • slowly add sugar and salt on low until dissolved
eighteenth century and the planters were certainly not suffering 20 ml Yellow Chartreuse • add just enough booze to blender to make mixture fully liquid
for lack of rum. Most early recipes call for a simple mix of those • pour into glass jar or Cambro
two ingredients, sometimes in equal parts, but this modern take stir/strain/nick & nora/sunken cocktail cherry
• add all remaining ingredients; whisk to combine
from Joe Robinson at Detroit’s Standby is superb. • use within 3 days (unless aging)
Division Bell
Apparently we have Murray Stenson of Seattle’s Zig Zag Café Phil Ward, Mayahuel, NYC, 2009 build/coupe/fresh grated nutmeg
to thank for not only bringing this cocktail back into the light,
but for employing the now-so-ubiquitous-people-assume-it’s- 30 ml mezcal Single Serving:
traditional blackstrap rum. It’s not, but who cares; I like putting 20 ml Aperol 30 ml aged rum
it in my mouth. Let this, not tradition, be your polestar: in 15 ml maraschino liqueur 15 ml cognac
cocktails, and in life. 20 ml lime juice 15 ml amontillado sherry
shake/fine strain/coupe/ 3 heaping barspoons white cane sugar
Corpse Reviver No. 2 30 ml heavy cream
grapefruit twist (expressed
Harry Craddock, The Savoy Cocktail Book, 1930
and discarded) 30 ml whole milk
20 ml gin 1 whole egg
20 ml Cointreau pinch of salt
20 ml Cocchi Americano
dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/fresh grated nutmeg
20 ml lemon juice
2 dashes absinthe (or glass rinse) If you’re an insufferable tool, you’ll notice that the two recipes do
not match up perfectly. That’s because we have different goals for
shake/fine strain/nick & nora/sunken cocktail cherry each of them (ease of use, washline, dilution, increasing amounts
By far the most famous iteration of a class of drinks called “corpse for aging, etc.). Thankfully, nog is adaptable.
revivers,” or simply “revivers,” which may have evolved from a One of the ten Master Recipes from Chapter VI. Flip back for
single cocktail—recipe now lost—from a bar in Piccadilly, more information.
London in the late 1850s. They were intended as morning pick-
me-up or an “anti-fogmatic”i.e., hangover cure. El Diablo
As with the Vesper, the original recipe calls for the now-extinct Victor Bergeron, Trader Vic’s Book of Food & Drink, 1946
Kina Lillet to which Cocchi Americano is regarded as the closest 60 ml blanco tequila
modern equivalent. Lillet Blanc will work in a pinch.
15 ml lime juice
60 ml ginger beer
Cosmopolitan
Toby Cecchini, The Odeon, NYC, 1988 15 ml crème de cassis (sink)

45 ml citron vodka build/collins/cube ice/sink cassis/lime wedge/straw

20 ml Cointreau
20 ml lime juice El Presidente
John B. Escalante, Hotel Inglaterra, Havana, 1915
20 ml cranberry juice cocktail
45 ml aged rum
shake/fine strain/coupe/lemon twist Dr. Funk 20 ml bianco vermouth
It bears mentioning that the parentage of the Cosmo is disputed. Donn Beach, Don the Beachcomber, Palm Springs, 1950s
15 ml Cointreau
That said, nearly all who have bothered to investigate—and due to 45 ml blackstrap rum 1 barspoon grenadine
its massive popularity throughout the ’90s and early aughts, this 15 ml lemon juice
is a long list, including professional journalists—have concluded stir/strain/nick & nora/orange twist
7 ml lime juice
that Cecchini has the best claim, at least to the modern recipe
we make today. That said, even he admits that a similar cocktail 15 ml grenadine Enzoni
of the same name was being made in the San Francisco gay bar 1 barspoon absinthe Vincenzo Errico, Match Bar, London, 2001
scene (possibly transported from a restaurant in Cleveland called 30 ml club soda (to top; do not shake)
the Rusty Scupper), but it was he who perfected and corrected it.
30 ml gin
whip shake/dump/collins/pebble ice/top/mint sprig/straw 30 ml Campari
If using 100% cranberry juice instead of cranberry juice cocktail, 20 ml lemon juice
add around 7 ml simple syrup (1:1) to balance the tartness. Use Eastside 15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
regular vodka in a pinch (just toss a lemon twist in your tin George Delagado, Libation, NYC, 2004
5 seedless green grapes
before shaking if you’re worried about it).
60 ml gin muddle grapes/shake all ingredients with ice/fine strain/rocks glass/
20 ml lime juice cube ice/picked green grape
Daiquiri
Jennings S. Cox Jr., Daiquirí, Cuba, 1896 20 ml simple syrup (1:1)
handful of fresh mint leaves Espresso Martini
60 ml white rum 2 cucumber slices Dick Bradsell, Soho Brasserie, London, c.1983
20 ml lime juice
20 ml simple syrup (1:1) muddle cucumber/shake all ingredients with ice/fine strain/coupe/ 60 ml vodka
cucumber slice 30 ml espresso
shake/fine strain/coupe
This is basically a Southside with muddled cucumber. 15 ml coffee liqueur
One of the ten Master Recipes from Chapter VI. Flip back for 7 ml simple syrup (1:1)
more information. No one will die if you serve this over ice with a splash of soda.
shake/fine strain/coupe/3 coffee beans
Fanciulli
Albert Stevens Crockett, Old Waldorf Bar Days, 1931

60 ml bourbon or rye whiskey

20 ml sweet vermouth
7 ml Fernet-Branca
stir/strain/nick & nora/orange twist & picked cocktail cherry

45
Fancy Free Fog Cutter Gold Rush
Crosby Gaige, Cocktail Guide & Ladies Companion, 1941 Victor Bergeron, Trader Vic’s Book of Food & Drink, 1946 T.J. Siegal, Milk & Honey, NYC, 2000

60 ml bourbon 30 ml rhum agricole 60 ml bourbon

15 ml maraschino liqueur 15 ml cognac 20 ml lemon juice
2 dashes Angostura bittes 15 ml gin 20 ml honey syrup (2:1)
1 dash orange bitters 30 ml lemon juice shake/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/lemon wheel
stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/orange twist
15 ml Cointreau
20 ml orgeat Grasshopper
Final Ward 15 ml cream sherry (sink) Harry O’Brien, The Palace Hotel, San Francisco, c.1908
Phil Ward, Pegu Club, NYC, 2006 whip shake/dump/collins/pebble ice/sink/orange slice & orchid/ 30 ml crème de menthe
20 ml rye whiskey straw 30 ml crème de cacao
20 ml lemon juice 30 ml heavy cream
20 ml Green Chartreuse French 75
Norman Hume Anthony aka “Judge Jr.,” Here’s How, 1927 shake/fine strain/nick & nora
20 ml maraschino liqueur
30 ml gin Originally a simple layered pousse café of menthe and cacao,
shake/fine strain/nick & nora/sunken cocktail cherry cream came into the picture (hehe) seemingly around 1950 in
15 ml lemon juice
15 ml simple syrup (1:1) the American Midwest and just never left. Get over yourself
Fish House Punch and make one. Embrace the kitsch: use a blender and ice cream
Colony Club, Philadelphia, c.1790s 60 ml Champagne (to top; do not shake)
instead of heavy cream (I do this for my staff during Girl Scout
500 ml Jamaican rum shake/fine strain/flute/top/lemon twist cookie season—add a couple Thin Mints, baby). If you want to
elevate instead, you can follow the lead of legendary Tujagues in
250 ml cognac Named after a powerful French field gun much utilized by
New Orleans and add an equal measure of cognac (reduce all
150 ml apple brandy American forces during WWI. Judge Jr. likely didn’t invent the
amounts to 20 ml in that case).
100 ml crème de pêche cocktail, but this is the earliest known printed recipe.
250 g white cane sugar Greenpoint
250 ml lemon juice Gimlet Michael McIlroy, Milk & Honey, NYC, 2005
Harry MacElhone, Harry’s ABC of Mixing Cocktails, 1922
punch bowl: dissolve sugar in lemon juice/half fill with ice/add 60 ml rye whiskey
remaining ingredients/wait 30 minutes/fresh grated nutmeg 60 ml gin
15 ml sweet vermouth
20 ml lime juice
The legendary house tipple of a legendary upper-crust social club 15 ml Yellow Chartreuse
20 ml simple syrup (1:1)
in Schuylkill, Pennsylvania, established 1732. 1 dash Angostura bitters
shake/fine strain/coupe/lime wedge 1 dash orange bitters
An oleo-saccharum would certainly be welcome here (just toss
the peels of 6-8 lemons in the sugar 2 hours before adding the Originally made with Rose’s Lime Juice Cordial, this cocktail stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist
juice), but the earliest known recipes don’t bother and so neither likely started its life aboard a British sailing vessel, as a not-too-
do I. The original recipes do call for peach brandy—once a shabby preventative to scurvy. Hanky Panky
prized commodity, back when we were a real country—but good Ada Coleman, American Bar at the Savoy Hotel, London, 1918
quality examples are practically nonexistent at time of writing. A Gin & It
combination of good apple brandy (e.g., Laird’s) and good crème Frank Meier, The Artistry of Mixing Drinks, 1936 45 ml gin
de pêche (e.g., Giffard) should get you close. 45 ml sweet vermouth
75 ml gin 2 dashes Fernet-Branca
75 ml sweet vermouth
Flip stir/strain/nick & nora/orange twist
First iteration: unknown, Britain & American Colonies, c.1690s 1 dash orange bitters
Modern iteration: unknown, America, c.1870s Created by the trailblazing first female head bartender of the
stir/strain/nick & nora/orange twist
American Bar, who held the post from 1903-1926, until being
20 ml aged rum The “It” is short for Italian vermouth (an outdated term for sweet replaced by Harry Craddock.
20 ml cognac vermouth). This cocktail likely began as the Sweet Martini,
20 ml oloroso sherry popular in NYC at places like the Hoffman House throughout Harvey Wallbanger
20 ml simple syrup (1:1) the 1880s and 90s. Ratios have swung back and forth over the Donato “Duke” Antone, McKesson Imports, 1969
1 whole egg years, but I’m partial to equal parts. The simplicity is deceptive;
this is a damn fine cocktail. 45 ml vodka
dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/fresh grated nutmeg 120 ml orange juice
The first cocktail bearing this moniker was a mix of ale, spirit Gloria 15 ml Galliano L’Autentico (float)
(usually rum), and sweetener (often molasses), heated with a Victor Bergeron, Bartender’s Guide, 1947
build/collins/cube ice/float/picked orange wheel wrapped around a
red-hot iron, causing it to foam and flip. This was commonly
45 ml gin cocktail cherry
prepared in a large pitcher before being distributed and, as such,
was a social drink (one can imagine how tedious a procedure
15 ml Campari An insanely popular cocktail throughout the 1970s due to one of
this might be for a single drink, and how many glowing hot 15 ml orange liqueur the most successful marketing campaigns in booze history. If you
loggerheads† you’d need in reserve). By the early 1800s, as 15 ml dry vermouth were conceived between 1969-1978, your parents probably had
America was first learning to be independent nation respecting stir/strain/coupe/orange twist Galliano in their bloodstream (i.e., you’re part Wallbanger). Trust
the rights of individual citizens, the single serve cocktail began me when I say that the story promoted by McKesson (importer
gaining popularity. By the middle of the century, the frothiness of Galliano at the time) is almost certainly bullshit. This cocktail,
Godfather
of the flip was being created not by hot irons, but by adding unknown, 1970s
and the highly-improbable origin story—involving Duke and a
whipped eggs and pouring the concoction several times between surfer and a non-existent bar on the Sunset Strip in 1952—were
two vessel. This was certainly more conducive to smaller 60 ml scotch created in a boardroom sometime around 1969. I’m willing to
portions, though the reasons for the change are not entirely clear, 15 ml amaretto believe that Duke Antone was involved in its invention—he had
as sharing portions of the new style continued to be popular. By created Galliano cocktails in the past and was probably on the
the end of the century, ale was mostly dropped from the recipe. It stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice payroll by that point—but the rest sounds too much like an ad
was also, notably, cold, shaken with ice into the rich, streamlined Perhaps it’s telling that no one has ever taken credit for this man’s wet dream. In any case, this cocktail reigned supreme until
indulgence we know today. Feel free to use spirits and/or fortified cocktail. Even Disarrono, who promoted the drink extensively in it didn’t, and then became the target of mockery. Whatever, I
wines of your choice; richer expressions tend to work best. the 70s, denies creating it. Whatever the case, it begins popping still have a hankering from time to time. Be sure you use the
up bars menus in the early 70s, certainly in response to the 1972 right Galliano.
† Since it was not unusual for these to be purloined from the flames by
customers engaged a bar brawl, it was probably best to keep their number Coppola film of the same name (heard of it?). The recipe, along
at a minimum. This is likely the source of the modern idiom to be “at with several variations, is recorded in Stan Jones 1977 Complete Highball
loggerheads,” to describe two parties engaged in a quarrel. Barguide as an equal parts affair, which you’re welcome to do if Lord Byron (George Gordon), Don Juan, 1819
you want to lose your feet.
60 ml scotch (or other spirit)
When made with sensible proportions and with a good amaretto 150 ml soda water
(Lazzaroni, for instance), this is a perfectly acceptable cocktail. A
dash of bitters and orange twist certainly wouldn’t hurt though. build/collins/cube ice (optional)
One of the ten Master Recipes from Chapter VI. Flip back for
more information.

46
Honeysuckle Japanese Cocktail Last Word
David A. Embury, The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks, 1948 Jerry Thomas, The Metropolitan Hotel, NYC, c.1860 unknown, Detroit Athletic Club, Detroit, c.1916

60 ml rum 60 ml cognac 20 ml gin

20 ml lime juice 15 ml orgeat 20 ml maraschino liqueur
20 ml honey syrup (2:1) 3 dashes Angostura bitters 20 ml Green Chartreuse
shake/fine strain/coupe/lime wheel
20 ml lime juice
stir/strain/coupe/lemon twist
shake/fine strain/nick & nora
It has been suggested by Tokyo-based cocktail historian, Kadzuo
Hot Toddy Ishizura, that Jerry Thomas may have been trying, and failing,
unknown, c. 1741
One of the ten Master Recipes from Chapter VI. Flip back for
to evoke Chinese shaoxing wine. In essense, an early example more information.
60 ml Irish whiskey of a white guy not really appreciating that China and Japan are
Also, this is perfect cocktail.
150 ml hot water different places. In his defense, due to Sakoku (“locked country”
20 ml honey syrup (2:1) i.e., imposed isolation) Japan hadn’t exactly exported much of
its culture in, well, a couple and a half centuries—he didn’t Left Hand
7 ml lemon juice Sam Ross, Milk & Honey, NYC, 2006
have a lot to go on. Crunchyroll was a few years off yet. In any
build/heat-proof mug/cinnamon stick & clove-studded lemon twist case, this was almost certainly created to commemorate the first 45 ml bourbon
Japanese diplomatic mission to the United States. Guess where 20 ml Campari
As with “paunch,” the oft-repeated story that connects the
the delegates were staying?
etymology—and even inception—of the toddy to India, 20 ml sweet vermouth
specifically the Hindi word for palm wine, is likely apocryphal. I’ve never particularly enjoyed these, but maybe I just haven’t 2 dashes chocolate bitters
Toddy probably started its life as a punch substitute for when met the right one yet.
citrus was unavailable or prohibitively expensive (i.e., often). My stir/strain/coupe/picked cocktail cherry
addition of a small amount of lemon in this recipe technically Japanese Slipper
makes it a hot punch but bite me. Were there cold toddies? Yup. Jean-Paul Bourguignon, Mietta’s, Melbourne, 1984 Lemon Drop
These were also called slings. Perhaps you’ll remember from Norman Hobday, Henry Africa’s, San Francisco, 1970s
Chapter V, the other name for a bittered sling? 30 ml Midori
45 ml vodka
30 ml Cointreau
30 ml lemon juice
Infante 30 ml lemon juice
15 ml Cointreau
Giuseppe González, Dutch Kills, NYC, 2009
shake/fine strain/coupe/sunken cocktail cherry 15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
60 ml tequila
Jasmine shake/fine strain/coupe/lemon wheel
20 ml lime juice Paul Harrington, Townhouse Bar & Grill, California, 1990s
20 ml orgeat Say what you will, but this is an important cocktail. Not just
2 drops orange flower or rose water (optional) 45 ml gin for the cocktail itself (actually, that part is pretty insignificant—
20 ml lemon juice it’s fucking vodka and lemon juice), but for the place it was
shake/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/lime wheel & fresh grated nutmeg 7 ml Campari birthed and the reasons for its inception. Henry Africa’s was,
7 ml Cointreau if not the first, certainly one of the most important “fern bars”
Irish Coffee of the 1970s. Don’t know what a fern bar is? Ask your mom ;)
Joe Sheridan, Foynes Airport, Ireland, c.1944 shake/fine strain/coupe/lemon twist Seriously though, it’s probably where she met your dad.
45 ml Irish whiskey This is a gateway drug for Cosmo drinkers. If you don’t have a mom: Fern bars were singles bars, extremely
120 ml hot coffee popular in the 1970s, designed to be welcoming to women as
2 brown sugar cubes Jungle Bird well as men—cozy furniture, stained glass windows, fake Tiffany
Jeffery Ong Swee Teik, Hilton Aviary Bar, Kuala Lumpur, c.1973 lamps, sweet drinks, lots of plants (namely, ferns). They spawned
30 ml lightly whipped heavy cream (float)
an instantly-recognizable style that would influence restaurant
build/preheated Irish Coffee glass 45 ml blackstrap rum
chains throughout the 1990s (T.G.I. Friday's, Applebee's,
45 ml pineapple juice Bennigan's, Houlihan's, etc.).
Temperature is everything. The disappointment of being 20 ml Campari
served a lukewarm Irish Coffee is only topped by being served P.S. I once fired a bartender before he completed training, for
15 ml lime juice
lukewarm fries† (these two are great together, by the way). The insisted that he would judge anyone who ordered a Lemon
cream is cold and the whiskey is room temperature so the glass
15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
Drop. In my defense, he had been getting on my nerves for
and the coffee have to do all the heavy lifting. Preheat the glass shake/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/pineapple frond or orange slice days. Anyway, he’s in finance now. Moral of the story: get fired
with boiling water, dump it, then immediately add your coffee by me; you’ll be fine.
and sugar. Stir to dissolve, add your whiskey, then pour your Created as a welcome cocktail for hotel guests visiting the bar,
lightly-whipped cream over the back of a spoon to create an which overlooked an actually aviary. The original simply calls
for dark rum. In 2010, at New York’s short-lived but influential Line Cocktail
approximately 2 cm float. When I say “lightly,” I mean it. No Yonekichi Maeda, Café Line, Tokyo, 1924
stiff peaks. For Pete’s sake, no Reddi-wip (never outside the Painkiller, Giuseppe González swapped in blackstrap instead.
bedroom). You want just enough aeration to make it float, but This is my (and pretty much everyone else’s) preferred serve. 10 ml gin
not enough to disrupt that beautiful flat white canvas (a cheap The oxblood hue is downright erotic. I’ve heard this cocktail 10 ml sweet vermouth
milk frother is great for this; or a squirt bottle shaken like hell). described as “post-tiki,” and I think that’s apt. Not only was 10 ml Bénédictine
Also, don’t stir it. Drink through the cream. Go to hell. Cheers. tiki’s star already dipping below the horizon in 1973, but the
build breaks from tradition with the addition of Campari. As shake with two ice cubes/fine strain/cordial glass or nick & nora/
† For all the Irish people reading this, these are what you’d call “chips.” such, I like the simple garnish to reflect its modernity: big rock crushed rakkyō (half of a crushed pickled onion will work in a
if you’ve got it, and a single dignified pineapple frond (cube ice pinch) & small lemon twist
Jack Rose and an orange slice will do fine—or no garnish at all, the drink
On paper, this sounds all wrong, but it’s surprisingly delightful,
Frank Haas, Fred Eberlin’s, NYC, 1899 is already a looker).
especially in small amounts (nearly all of the cocktails in
60 ml applejack This is a permanent fixture in my cocktail classes and always a Maeda’s groundbreaking book Kokuteeru [1924]—the second
15 ml lemon or lime juice favorite. If there’s only one cocktail you actually make from this cocktail book published in Japan, losing to the first by only a
20 ml grenadine book, this should be it (send pics). month—are around 30 ml). The rakkyō—a Chinese allium
similar to a shallot, often pickled—cuts through the sweetness
shake/fine strain/coupe Kentucky Maid of the ingredients. The aeration provided by shaking further
I find this drink both undervalued and overrated. I will not Sam Ross, East Side Company Bar, NYC, 2005 prevents the drink from being syrupy of cloying. This guy read
explain further. the assignment.
60 ml bourbon
Rinse your glass with absinthe for a Pan American Clipper. 20 ml lime juice Little Italy
20 ml simple syrup (1:1) Audrey Saunders, Pegu Club, NYC, 2005
3 slices cucumber
small handful mint 60 ml rye whiskey
20 ml sweet vermouth
muddle cucumber/add remaining ingredients/shake/fine strain/ 15 ml Cynar
rocks glass/cube ice/cucumber slice skewered with mint sprig
stir/strain/nick & nora/picked cocktail cherry

47
Mai Tai Martini (Vodka) Monkey Gland
Victor Bergeron, Trader Vic’s, Oakland, 1944 Ted Saucier, Bottoms Up, 1951 (it’s conceivable they were made prior to this) Harry MacElhone, Harry’s ABC of Mixing Cocktails, 1922

30 ml aged Jamaican rum 90 ml vodka 60 ml gin

30 ml white rum stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist or picked olive
20 ml lemon juice
20 ml lime juice 15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
15 ml Cointreau “Isn’t this just cold vodka?” Yeah, so? The point here is simplicity 7 ml grenadine
15 ml orgeat and texture and subtle nuance. Yes, vodka has a taste. Don’t 2 orange twists
believe me? Do a side-by-side tasting of a few decent brands.
7 ml simple syrup (1:1) 2 dashes absinthe (or glass rinse)
Be sure to throw a potato vodka in there, and maybe one that’s
whip shake/dump/rocks glass/pebble ice/mint & cocktail cherry/ copper distilled (like Absolut Elyx). In addition to flavor, note shake/fine strain/coupe/orange twist
straw the textural differences: some are silky on the palate, others
Named after the practice of transplanting monkey testicle tissue
coarse, others oily. Choose your fighter and stop complaining
into the scrotums of human men as an anti-aging therapy—a
Manhattan about vodka. That’s very 2003.
controversial practice developed by French surgeon (of Russian
unknown, NYC, c.1870s
For my money, vermouth is not needed or particularly helpful origin) Serge Voronoff. Apparently, it was all the rage in the
60 ml bourbon or rye whiskey here, but do as you will. I think it disrupts the creamy, peppery 1920s and 1930s (if you could afford it). Yup.
30 ml sweet vermouth and—for some of us—surprisingly sweet nature of a bone dry
The original recipe calls for orange juice instead of lemon, which
vodka martini. In ratios heavier on vermouth than say 5:1 (75
3 dashes Angostura bitters makes for a pretty flabby cocktail unless you’re using sour Seville
ml vodka, 15 dry vermouth), it starts to get unpleasantly sour. I
oranges, which are not readily available in the United States,
stir/strain/nick & nora/picked cocktail cherry never go above a barspoon myself, or a 17:1 ratio (85 ml vodka,
especially outside major cities. You could acidify sweet navel
5 ml dry vermouth). If you’re just looking for a little aroma, try
One of the ten Master Recipes from Chapter VI. Flip back for orange juice (Chapter VIII), but I’d only bother if you were
putting dry vermouth in an atomizer and misting it over the top
more information. making several. My preferred hack: regal shake with two orange
of the drink just before serving. Vermouth-soaked olives are also
twists—works just fine in a pinch.
lovely.
Manhattan (Black)
Todd Smith, Bourbon & Branch, San Francisco, 2005 “Did he say ‘sweet’?” Yes. For more information, flip back to Monte Carlo
Chapter VI: "Why does my bone dry vodka martini taste sweet?" David Embury, The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks, 1948
60 ml rye whiskey
30 ml Averna (or other dark amaro) Martini (Dirty) 60 ml rye whiskey
1 dash Angostura bitters John E. O’Connor, Waldorf Astoria, NYC, 1901 15 ml Bénédictine
1 dash orange bitters 1 dash Angostura bitters
75 ml vodka
stir/strain/nick & nora/picked cocktail cherry 15 ml olive brine stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/lemon twist

shake/fine strain/nick & nora/picked olive Mojito

Margarita Juan A. Lasa, Libro de Cocktail, 1929
unknown, Southern California (or Mexico or NYC or London or Texas), Let me go on record: I don’t give a fuck how you make these.
c.1930s 60 ml white rum
Use gin, use vermouth, use less/more brine, stir it, quit your job,
60 ml blanco tequila don’t vote. My preference is for simplicity, but this is a blank 20 ml lime juice
20 ml Cointreau canvas, and god stopped watching ages ago. 20 ml simple syrup (1:1)
20 ml lime juice small handful of mint
5 ml simple syrup (1:1) [optional] Mercy Mercy 60 ml soda (to top; do not shake)
Joseph Schwartz, Little Branch, NYC, 2006
shake/strain or fine strain/rocks glass or coupe/cube ice (if rocks shake/fine strain/collins/cube ice/top/mint sprig
glass)/half salt rim & lime wheel
60 ml gin (preferably Old Tom)
This is how I make mine. It avoids mint in the straw and,
15 ml Aperol
One of the ten Master Recipes from Chapter VI. Flip back for eventually, the teeth. It is decidedly untraditional and not how
15 ml Cocchi Americano they make them in Havana, then or now. Also, I don’t make the
more information. 2 dashes Angostura bitters same complains about the Mint Julep, so I can’t be trusted. If
stir/strain/coupe/flamed orange twist you want to go old school: muddle your mint with syrup (or
Margarita (Tommy’s)
Julio Bermejo, Tommy’s Mexican Restaurant, San Francisco, c.1990
white cane sugar), squeeze in half a lime then drop in the shell,
Metropole pour in “two or three fingers” of white rum (as the original recipe
60 ml blanco tequila George J. Kappeler, Modern American Drinks, 1895 advises), pack with crushed ice, splash with soda, garnish with a
30 ml lime juice sprig, bore your date with stories about that one time in Miami,
20 ml agave nectar 45 ml cognac get mint in your teeth...sorry, I’m being a bitch.
45 ml dry vermouth
shake/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/lime wedge 2 dashes Peychaud’s bitters Moscow Mule
1 dash orange bitters Charles Wesley “Wes” Price, Cock ’n Bull, Los Angeles, 1941
Martinez
O.H. Byron, The Modern Bartender, 1884 stir/strain/nick & nora/picked cocktail cherry 60 ml vodka
15 ml lime juice (or just squeeze half a lime and drop it in)
60 ml gin 120 ml ginger beer
Mint Julep
20 ml sweet vermouth unknown, Virginia, c.1807
7 ml maraschino liqueur build/copper mug or rocks glass/cube ice/lime wheel
2 dashes Angostura bitters 75 ml bourbon
Designed in collaboration with Heublein president John Martin
15 ml simple syrup (1:1) and Cock ’n Bull owner Jack Morgan in order to boost sales of
stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist small handful mint Smirnoff vodka and house ginger beer, respectively, and possibly
O.H. Byron (a nom de plume, by the way), may have only been build (gently muddle mint and simple syrup then add bourbon)/ju- to make use of some copper mugs that were gathering dust
the first to publish the recipe, rather than it’s rightful creator. lep cup or rocks glass/pebble or crushed ice/mint bouquet/straw (though this may be a later embellishment). The plan was a huge
It has been suggested that Jerry Thomas (among others) may success and—along with the Bloody Mary—became one of the
have created the drink—a gin variant of the Manhattan and This is a tough one to attribute because it’s so damn old driving forces that popularized vodka in American bars.
predecessor of the Martini—as early as the 1860s. In any case, (early 1700s at best guess). The name was originally applied
it’s an important link between two master recipes, and a damn to a medicinal concoction of water and infused syrup with Despite what windbags, on both sides of the bar, will tell you
fine libation in its own right. the occasional addition of a small amount of mint spirit (the about the benefits—nay, necessity—of drinking these out of
etymology is derived from gûl-ab, the Persian word for rose copper mugs (thermal conductivity nonsense, chemical reaction
water). It became a slightly more recreational—and considerably hokum, etc., etc.), it’s really just a genius bit of instantly-
Martini (Gin) recognizable marketing. I’ve go no beef with copper mugs, but
unknown, c.1888-1906 boozier—affair once it reached the American colonies. Ice isn’t
part of the recipe until around 1807. This is such a fundamental a rocks glass will do just fine. If you’ve ever stolen a copper mug
60 ml gin part of the modern iteration that I’m parking its birthday there. from a bar, your mom’s a hoe.
30 ml dry vermouth Early versions were increasingly baroque, involving fresh fruit
and berries, and almost any spirit but whiskey (rum and brandy Naked & Famous
stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist or picked olive Joaquín Simó, Death & Co, NYC, 2011
were particularly popular). It wasn’t until just after the American
One of the ten Master Recipes from Chapter VI. Flip back for Civil War that the Mint Julep became established as a whiskey 20 ml mezcal
more information. cocktail, distinctly southern, and simply prepared. That said, its
20 ml Aperol
origins allow for experimentation so feel free to get weird (I like
If you shake one of these it becomes a Bradford. 20 ml Yellow Chartreuse
a slice of peach and a pinch of black pepper; makes me feel like a
fine southern gentleman). 20 ml lime juice
Be sure to give your mint garnish a good slap or rub (to each their shake/fine strain/nick & nora
own), to bring the aromatic oils to the surface. Your olfactory
bulb should get assaulted every time you take a sip.

48
Navy Grog Old Fashioned Paper Plane
Donn Beach, Don the Beachcomber, Hollywood, c.1940 Branden von Fugate, Stinky's Roadhouse, Niagara Falls, 1974 (just kidding, Sam Ross, The Violet Hour, Chicago, 2008
but it’s complicated)
30 ml aged Jamaican rum 20 ml bourbon
30 ml Pusser’s rum 75 ml bourbon or rye whiskey 20 ml Aperol
30 ml white rum 7 ml simple syrup (1:1) 20 ml Amaro Nonino
20 ml lime juice 2-4 dashes Angostura bitters 20 ml lemon juice
20 ml grapefruit juice 1-2 dashes orange bitters (optional)
shake/fine strain/nick & nora
20 ml honey syrup (2:1) stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/orange twist for bourbon; lemon
20 ml soda water (to top; do not shake) twist for rye Pegu Club
shake/fine strain/rocks glass/ice cone (look it up) or pebble ice/lime unknown, Pegu Club, Rangoon, c.1910
Use a bitters soaked sugar cube if you must. In fact, if you grew
wedge & mint sprig/straw up drinking these, as I did, with a muddled cherry and orange 60 ml gin
slice, knock yourself out. If anyone judges you for what you put 20 ml Cointreau
Negroni in your own damn mouth, knock them out next. If you’re from
20 ml lime juice
Count Camillo Negroni, Caffè Casoni, Florence, c.1920 Wisconsin, and you make them with brandy and 7-Up, stay
weird. It’s gross to my palate but I also hate truffles. 1 dash Angostura bitters
30 ml gin 1 dash orange bitters
30 ml sweet vermouth One of the ten Master Recipes from Chapter VI. Flip back for
more information. shake/fine strain/coupe
30 ml Campari
stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/orange twist Old Fashioned (Oaxaca) Penicillin
Phil Ward, Death & Co, NYC, 2007 Sam Ross, Milk & Honey, NYC, 2005
One of the ten Master Recipes from Chapter VI. Flip back for
more information. 45 ml reposado tequila 60 ml blended scotch whisky
15 ml mezcal 30 ml lemon juice
Negroni (White) 5 ml agave nectar 15 ml ginger syrup (1:1)
Wayne Collins, Vinexpo, Bordeaux, 2001 15 ml honey syrup (2:1)
2 dashes Angostura bitters
30 ml gin 1 dash chocolate bitters (optional) shake/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/mist or small float of peated (pref-
30 ml Lillet Blanc erably Islay) scotch whisky/candied ginger or lemon wheel
stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/flamed orange twist
30 ml Suze
Pimm’s Cup
stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/orange or grapefruit twist Old Pal James Pimm (or a successor), London, c.1823-1912 (yeah, we don’t know)
Harry MacElhone, ABC of Mixing Cocktails, 1927 (did not appear until this
edition) 60 ml Pimm’s Cup No.1
New York Sour
unknown, Chicago (lol), c.1880s
30 ml rye whiskey 15 ml lemon juice
60 ml bourbon or rye whiskey 30 ml dry vermouth 7 ml simple syrup (1:1) (optional)
20 ml lemon juice 30 ml Campari 120 ml ginger ale
20 simple syrup (1:1) stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist build/collins/cube ice/all kinds of shit (cucumber, strawberry, citrus,
15 ml egg white or other foamer (optional) mint, etc.)
15 ml dry red wine (float) Painkiller
Daphne Henderson, Soggy Dollar Bar, British Virgin Islands, c.1980 Piña Colada
dry shake (if using egg white)/shake with ice/fine strain/rocks glass/ Ramón “Monchito” Marrero Pérez, Caribe Hilton, 1954
cube ice/float red wine by pouring slowly over the back of a spoon 60 ml Pusser’s rum
60 ml pineapple juice 60 ml rum
Nui Nui 15 ml orange juice 45 ml pineapple juice
Donn Beach, Don the Beachcomber’s, Hollywood, c.1930s
20 ml cream of coconut 30 ml Coco López
45 ml aged rum 7 ml lime juice (optional)
whip shake/dump/snifter or rocks glass/pebble ice/fresh grated
15 ml Navy Strength Jamaican rum nutmeg/straw shake/strain/collins/pebble ice/pineapple wedge & frond/straw
7 ml pimento dram If a blender is at hand, 90 g of ice should do the trick.
15 ml lime juice Now a trademarked cocktail of Pusser’s rum, it was originally
created at a tiny resort on the island Jost Van Dyke. As there was Also, before you besmirch my (historically accurate) use of Coco
15 ml orange juice
no dock, patrons would often swim to the island, and purchase López, know that it was the novel ingredient around which the
15 ml cinnamon syrup their Painkillers with wet cash, which were then hung up behind cocktail was originally developed. By all means, use organic, Fair
7 ml vanilla syrup the bar to dry (hence the name). Trade, free range, homemade, grassfed, LEED-Certified coconut
1 dash Angostura bitters cream if you want. It just wont be as good. You’re making a
This cocktail is rich and sweet and maybe a little flabby to some
whip shake/dump/collins/pebble ice/cinnamon stick & orange palates (mine). You may have noticed it’s basically a Piña Colada fucking Piña Colada. Lime juice is, admittedly, untraditional,
twist/straw with British Navy rum and a little oj. Feel free to do what most but one does what one can.
of us do there as well: add some lime (the original PC had none). It also bears mentioning that the attribution is disputed, but
Old Cuban Is it still a Painkiller at that point? Maybe not; lawyer up. most scholars give it to Pérez, at least in its modern form (i.e.,
Audrey Saunders, Bemelman’s Bar, NYC, 2001 the form that changed the damn world).
45 ml aged rum Paloma
Squirt brochure, 1950 Pro tip: If you’re blending (recommended), try 45 g of frozen
20 ml lime juice pineapple chunks instead of juice. Flavor and texture will
30 ml simple syrup (1:1) 60 ml blanco tequila improve considerably.
2 dashes Angostura bitters 120 ml grapefruit soda (preferably Squirt)
small handful mint half a lime Pink Lady
60 ml Champagne (to top; do not shake) pinch of salt Jacques Straub, Manual of Mixed Drinks, 1913

shake/fine strain/coupe/lime wheel build/squeeze lime and drop in/add remaining ingredients/collins/ 30 ml gin
cube ice 30 ml applejack
To be fair, Squirt simply suggested spiking their beverage with 20 ml lime juice
tequila, and they didn’t call it a Paloma. It would take some 20 ml grenadine
decades before lime and salt were added (which probably 15 ml egg white
happened somewhere in Jalisco). In the late 1990s, somewhere dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/picked cocktail cherry
in Southern California, it finally picked up its current name (the
Spanish word for “dove”). Originally a much different cocktail (Ojen + Peychaud’s &
Angostura bitters), made to celebrate to opening of a musical
These are almost always preferable to a Margarita in my opinion. comedy in New York in 1911. Jacques Straub’s version originally
Most of Mexico appears to feel the same. included lime, instead of the lemon that is standard these days,
so I’m doing that here. Egg white was added shortly after and
that’s how most expect it.

49
Pisco Sour Ranch Water Satan’s Whiskers
Victor Morris, Morris’ Bar, Lima, Peru, c.1920 Kevin Williamson, Ranch 616, Austin, 1998 Harry Craddock, The Savoy Cocktail Book, 1930

60 ml pisco 60 ml blanco tequila 20 ml gin

10 ml lime juice 120 ml Topo Chico 20 ml sweet vermouth
10 ml lemon juice 15 ml lime juice 20 ml dry vermouth
20 ml simple syrup (1:1) 7 ml simple syrup (1:1) (optional) 20 ml orange juice
15 ml egg white build/collins/cube ice/half salt rim & lime wedge
10 ml Grand Marnier (or Cointreau)
dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/5 drops Angostura bitters
2 dashes orange bitters
This attributed is disputed, mostly by West Texans, but the 7 ml lemon juice (optional)
on egg white foam (draw a pattern if you’d like) evidence points to Mr. Williamson, for the name if nothing else.
His version was essentially a margarita with a Topo Chico on shake/fine strain/coupe/orange twist
Poet’s Dream the side, for progressive topping up, but I prefer the streamlined
Albert Stevens Crockett, Old Waldorf Bar Days, 1931 modern version above. Saturn
Joseph Galsini, Kona Kai, Huntington Beach, 1967
30 ml gin
30 ml dry vermouth Rattlesnake 45 gin
Harry Craddock, The Savoy Cocktail Book, 1930
30 ml Bénédictine 15 ml lemon juice
60 ml rye whiskey 15 ml orgeat
stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist
20 ml lemon juice 7 ml passion fruit purée
Preakness 20 ml simple syrup (1:1) 7 ml falernum
“George,” Emerson Hotel, Baltimore, 1936 15 ml egg white whip shake/dump/rocks glass/pebble ice/picked cocktail cherry
2 dashes absinthe (or glass rinse) wrapped with long lemon twist (to mimic Saturn, see?)/straw
60 ml rye whiskey
20 ml sweet vermouth dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/Angostura bitters on
7 ml Bénédictine foam (make it look like a rattlesnake, ya dope) Sazerac
Billy Wilkinson, Sazerac House, New Orleans, c.1900
1 dash Angostura bitters
Red Hook 75 ml rye whiskey
stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist Vincenzo Errico, Milk & Honey, NYC, 2003
7 ml simple syrup (1:1)
60 ml rye whiskey 5-7 dashes Peychaud’s bitters
Quaker
Harry MacElhone, ABC of Mixing Cocktails, 1923 20 ml Punt e Mes 3 dashes absinthe (glass rinse)
7 ml maraschino liqueur
30 ml aged rum stir/strain/absinthe-rinsed rocks glass/no ice (aka “down”)/lemon
stir/strain/coupe/picked cocktail cherry twist expressed and discarded
30 ml cognac
20 ml lemon juice This attribution is controversial, but the evidence does not
20 ml raspberry syrup Revolver fully support the popular theory that assigns creation to
Jon Santer, Bruno’s, San Francisco, 2004
Antoine Amédée Peychaud (the Creole apothecary who created
shake/fine strain/coupe his namesake bitters) sometime in the 1850s. I am greatly
60 ml bourbon
15 ml coffee liqueur indebted to David Wondrich for his research on the topic. He,
Queen’s Park Swizzle understandably, stops short of conclusively awarding the honor
unknown, Queen’s Park Hotel, Trinidad, c.1933-1938 2 dashes orange bitters
to Mr. Wilkinson, but that appears to be where the evidence
60 ml aged rum stir/strain/nick & nora/flamed orange coin leads at the moment. Wilkinson was the bar’s cocktail maven
when the Sazerac, as we know it today, first hit the scene. It
30 ml lime juice
Rickey seems that no one at the time, including the Times-Picayune in
30 ml demerara syrup (1:1) 1902, doubted his ownership.
George A. Williamson, Shoomaker’s Bar, 1880s
small handful mint leaves
60 ml gin or bourbon
build/collins/muddle mint/add remaining ingredients/pebble ice/ Scofflaw
swizzle/more pebble ice/top with 8 dashes Angostura bitters/mint
2-4 lime wedges (squeeze and drop into glass before ice) unknown, Maxim’s Bar, Paris, 1924
sprig/straw 120 ml soda water
45 ml rye whiskey
build/collins/cube ice 30 ml dry vermouth
See note on Chartreuse Swizzle re: "swizzle"
15 ml lemon juice
Rob Roy 15 ml grenadine
Ramos Gin Fizz Henry August Orphal, Duke’s House, Hoboken, c.1895
Henry Charles Ramos, Imperial Cabinet Saloon, New Orleans, c.1892-1894 1 dash orange bitters
60 ml blended scotch whisky
60 ml Old Tom gin (dry gin will work fine) shake/fine strain/coupe/orange twist (expressed and discarded)
30 ml sweet vermouth
30 ml heavy cream
2 dashes Angostura bitters "Scofflaw" was a portmanteau, the result of a $200 contest
30 ml simple syrup (1:1) announced in the Chicago Tribune in early 1924, to describe
10 ml lemon juice stir/strain/coupe/picked cocktail cherry or citrus twist Americans who continued
10 ml lime juice to consume alcohol during
15 ml egg white Rome with a View Prohibition. It was supposed to be
3 drops orange flower water Michael McIlroy, Milk & Honey, NYC, 2008 an epithet, but did not have the
60 ml soda water (to sink; do not shake) 30 ml Campari desired effect. A few days later, this
cocktail is created in Paris.
prep serving vessel (ideally, 8 oz straight-sided glass) with 30 ml of 30 ml dry vermouth
soda water/shake cocktail with 2 ice cubes until they are completely 30 ml lime juice Though Harry MacElhone would
dissolved/dump into prepared glass/allow meringue to harden in 20 ml simple syrup (1:1) later claim it was invented at
refrigerator for 5 minutes/poke small hole in middle of meringue/ 30 ml club soda (to top; do not shake) his New York Bar in Paris, by
gently pour soda into hole until meringue rises approximately 2 cm a bartender known simply as
above rim of glass (pour down a twisted barspoon if you find that shake/strain/collins/cube ice/top/orange slice “Jock,” an article from the same
easier—I don’t)/perch straw in middle of meringue (push slightly publication that held the contest
into meringue to prevent it from floating). Saratoga Brace Up actually proves that Maxim’s beat
Jerry Thomas, The Bar-Tender's Guide, 1887 him by at least a few days. The
One of the most infamous creations to come out of New Orleans, ingredients are basically identical.
and not only because it’s a bitch to make. When crafted properly, 60 ml cognac
it’s a thing of beauty (“like drinking a flower,” as Chris McMillian 15 ml lemon juice Most modern recipes opt for lime juice, but the original(s) used
rhapsodizes). Though originally calling for a full twelve minutes 15 ml simple syrup (1:1) lemon, which is what I prefer anyway.
of shaking (Ramos employed thirty-five “shaker boys” for Mardi 1 whole egg
Gras 1915—kind of a bait and switch, if you ask me), most of 2 dashes Angostura bitters
us have developed expedited methods that, I assure you, work 2 dashes absinthe
just as well. The recipe above is mine. It’s still a bitch, but I can’t
30 ml club soda (in bottom of glass; do not shake)
afford a shaker boy (yet; why do I think I wrote this book?).
dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain onto club soda/snifter or collins
Pro tip: Use a blender instead of shaking. Follow the rest of the
recipe as written.
Pro pro tip: You can make a batch this way. ⇧

50
Sherry Cobbler Southside Toronto
unknown, America, c.1830s Snedecor’s Tavern, Long Island, c.1890s Robert Vermeire, Cocktails: How to Mix Them, 1922
Jack Kriendler & Charlie Berns, ‘21’ Club, NYC, 1929
120 ml amontillado sherry 60 ml rye whiskey
30 ml simple syrup (1:1) 60 ml gin 7 ml Fernet-Branca
2 orange slices 20 ml lime juice 7 ml simple syrup (1:1)
1 lemon slice 20 ml simple syrup (1:1) 2 dashes Angostura bitters
small handful of mint leaves
muddle/shake/fine strain/collins/pebble ice/orange slice & berries/ stir/strain/nick & nora/orange twist
30 ml club soda (to top; do not shake)
straw
shake/fine strain/collins/cube ice/top/mint sprig Tortuga
The importance of this drink cannot be overstated. It popularized Victor Bergeron, Trader Vic’s Book of Food & Drink, 1946
the use of cocktail shakers, ice, and the trailblazing drinking This is basically an Eastside without the cucumber.
straw in the second half of the nineteenth century, in America 30 ml 151-proof demerara rum
and beyond. Earliest known mention is by Scottish† diarist Jane No one will die if you serve this up and sans soda. 30 ml navy strength rum
Ellice, who finds it “delicious & easy of composition” during an 30 ml sweet vermouth
eventful 1838 visit to New York. By 1842, Charles Dickens won’t Three Dots and a Dash 15 ml Cointreau
Donn Beach, Don the Beachcomber, Hollywood, c.1945
shut up about it, lending breathless praise in both his American 15 ml white crème de cacao
Notes for General Circulation, and his subsequent novel. As Harry 30 ml rhum agricole 15 ml lime juice
Johnson comments in the 1888 edition of Bartender’s Manual, 30 ml aged rum 15 ml lemon juice
“[t]his drink is without doubt the most popular beverage in the 15 ml orange juice
15 ml Cointreau
country, with ladies as well as with gentlemen.” Unfortunately,
15 ml falernum 7 ml grenadine
that fame would not last the century, as it was slowly supplanted
by new spirits-based refreshments. Already mostly forgotten, 7 ml pimento dram whip shake/dump/collins/pebble ice/lime wedge /straw
Prohibition dealt the final blow. No one was drinking low- 30 ml lime juice
alcohol anymore. 15 ml honey syrup (2:1) Trident
Robert Hess, Zig Zag Café, Seattle, 2002
As Jerry Thomas notes in the 1862 edition of his groundbreaking
3 dashes Angostura bitters
The Bar-Tender's Guide, the cobbler “does not require much skill whip shake/dump/collins/pebble ice/every damn thing/straw 30 ml aquavit
in compounding, but to make it acceptable to the eye, as well as 30 ml Cynar
to the palate, it is necessary to display some taste in ornamenting Nailing down a specific date for the creation of this drink is 30 ml dry sherry
the glass after the beverage is made.” He then calls attention to tricky. The recipe wasn’t actually published until Jeff Berry’s 2 dashes peach bitters
a very handsome woodcut, “showing how a cobbler should look Sippin’ Safari (2007), which required no small amount of
sleuthing on his part. Donn Beach served in the USAF during stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist
when made to suit an epicure.” This frippery was not without
detractors (there are some at every bar), and is likely the source WWII and created this drink as a nod to morse code for the
of the Old Fashioned being named as such, after a critical mass letter “V,” signifying victory. With that in mind, I’m going to Trinidad Sour
of curmudgeons ordered their cocktails “the old fashioned way,” assume he created this just after we won. Giuseppe González, Clover Club, NYC, 2009
i.e., without all that fancy shit in it—the nineteenth century We always make this drink in my cocktail classes as a prime 30 ml Angostura bitters
equivalent of asking for “a more manly glass.” So if I’m making a example of Donn Beach’s cocktail philosophy: more is more, 30 ml orgeat (preferably Giffard)
Sherry Cobbler, the top of that drink is going to look like the hat layer rums and layer flavors. In the hands of a pro, the result is 20 lime juice
of the Chiquita Banana lady. enchanting rather than busy. The original garnish, as far as I can
15 ml rye whiskey
† Not Canadian, as is often recorded. Though she did visit Canada gather, involved a skewer of three cherries ending in a pineapple
during this trip. “dash.” Cute. Sometimes I set it on fire. shake/fine strain/nick & nora
A clever cocktail that uses Angostura bitters as the base. Tropical,
Siboney Tipperary spicy, and rich with a drying finish. Beautiful in the glass. This
Victor Bergeron, Trader Vic’s Rum Cookery & Drinkery, 1974 Hugo R. Ensslin, Recipes for Mixed Drinks, 1916 is an achievement.
30 ml aged Jamaican rum 45 ml Irish whiskey
15 ml lemon juice 30 ml sweet vermouth Trinity
Harry Craddock, The Savoy Cocktail Book, 1930
15 ml pineapple juice 15 ml Green Chartreuse
7 ml simple syrup (1:1) 30 ml gin
stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist
7 ml passion fruit purée 30 ml sweet vermouth
Ti’ Punch 30 ml dry vermouth
shake/fine strain/nick & nora
unknown, Guadeloupe, c.1840s stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist
Sidecar 60 ml rhum agricole blanc
“John,” Henry’s, Paris, c.1918
5 ml cane syrup Turf Club
Harry Johnson, Bartenders’ Manual, 1900
60 ml cognac 1 lime section (equal portion of peel and flesh)
20 ml Cointreau build/rocks glass/muddle lime and syrup/add rhum/stir gently/no 45 ml gin (preferably Plymouth)
20 ml lemon juice ice 45 ml dry vermouth
5 ml simple syrup (1:1) (optional) 5 ml maraschino liqueur
The jewel of the West Indies and a bartender darling. French 2 dashes orange bitters
shake/fine strain/coupe Creole diminutive of “petit punch,” it is hugely popular on the
2 dashes absinthe (or glass rinse)
island Martinique, where it is enjoyed at all hours and for all
Most reference the 1922 edition of Harry MacElhone’s ABC of
occasions. Traditionally, guests will be presented the ingredients stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist
Mixing Drinks as one of the first mentions of the Sidecar (just
to make their own, according to personal preference. There's even
behind Robert Vermiere’s Cocktails: How to Mix Them published Though the first known mention comes from George Winter’s
a local phrase to accompany it: chacun prépare sa propre mort [each
earlier that same year. However, Amanda Schuster claims the How to Mix Drinks: Bar Keepers’ Handbook (1884), then again in
prepares their own death]. Ice is often regarded as untraditional,
actual earliest mention is in the 1919 first edition of ABC, in George Kappeler’s Modern American Drinks (1885), these were
but it’s not unheard of, and also not untraditional—it’s been
which MacElhone claims it was invented by a bartender named both essentially a streamlined Martinez—which had its recipe
used, admittedly somewhat sparingly, since at least 1903.
John at a bar across the street from his own New York Bar in published the same year—under a different name. It wasn’t until
Paris. This is bizarre, considering that by the 1922 edition he is These, like rhum agricole, are not for the faint of heart; you’re Johnson that we get the cocktail we know today, making it,
crediting its creation to Malachi “Pat” McGarry of Buck’s Club appreciating the full force of the grassy, funky, vegetal, kerosene perhaps, the first known use of gin with dry vermouth. Is it the
in London. I have not been able to get my hands on a first edition that is rhum agricole. Made from fresh-pressed cane juice rather predecessor to the Dry Martini? It’s hard to say conclusively, but
of ABC, nor track down a scan, but I trust Amanda Schuster. In than a sugar by-product, it retains all of its character as a truly it represents an important thematic link between the Martinez
any case, it was created somewhere around 1920, either in Paris agricultural product. For those of us who spend night after and the Dry Martini, and the timing is just about right.
or London. Maybe I should just ask Amanda Schuster. night getting our palates abused, it’s the delicious crack of the
whip at the end of a long week. Finally, I feel something. Thank In any case, it’s damn tasty and should be in the arsenal of any
It is common these days to incorporate a sugar rim (not part of the self-respecting bartender, home or professional.
you, mistress. I mean, I assume that’s what it’s like. Okay...next
original but occasionally adopted shortly thereafter). Personally,
cocktail?
I prefer to add a barspoon or so of simple syrup instead, and skip
the sticky lips, but you do you.
Tom Collins
John Collin, Limmer’s Old House, London, c.1830s

60 ml gin
20 ml lemon juice
30 ml simple syrup (1:1)
60 ml club soda
build/collins/cube ice/lemon wedge/sunken cocktail cherry

51
Tuxedo Whiskey Sour X.Y.Z.
Harry Johnson, Bartenders’ Manual, 1900 Jerry Thomas, The Bar-Tender’s Guide, 1862 (contested) Harry Craddock, The Savoy Cocktail Book, 1930

45 ml Old Tom gin 60 ml bourbon or rye whiskey 60 ml white or aged rum

45 ml dry vermouth 20 ml lemon juice 20 ml lemon juice
1 dash maraschino liqueur 20 ml simple syrup (1:1) 20 ml Cointreau
2 dashes orange bitters 15 ml egg white (optional) shake/fine strain/coupe/lemon twist
2 dashes absinthe (or glass rinse) dry shake (if using egg white)/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/lem-
stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist & sunken cocktail cherry on twist (expressed and discarded) & picked cocktail cherry Zephyr
Benjamin Schwartz, Little Branch, NYC, 2010
Suspiciously similar to the Turf Club? Yup. First mentioned in print 1826, then not again until the attribution
above. A few years later, a ship steward turned bartender, Eliott 60 ml gin
That said, the minor changes make a surprisingly different Staub “invented” the whiskey sour while working at a bar in 15 ml Cocchi Americano
cocktail. Old Tom gin is lightly sweetened, and maraschino is a Iquique, then part of Peru. It is beyond plausible that Staub—
powerful ingredient; small changes make a big difference. 15 ml Green Chartreuse
and other bartenders for that matter—came upon the recipe for a
A dizzying array of versions started cropping up almost whiskey sour independently, as it’s very similar to proto-cocktails stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist
immediately after Johnson published this one (now, sailors would have been making themselves for years, out of
incomprehensibly, oft regarded as Tuxedo No.2—the fault of citrus used to combat scurvy and their liquor ration, which was Zombie
Harry Craddock, I believe). In any case, I don’t have the time, or often safer than plain water. Donn Beach, Don the Beachcomber, Hollywood, 1934
patience, to tease them all out here. It’s a historically important These days, it’s common to add an egg white to a whiskey sour 45 ml Pusser’s rum
cocktail, likely created at the private New York country club that but this is entirely optional. Some would call it a “Boston Sour” 45 ml aged rum
popularized the tailless smoking jacket. Explore the variations if at this point. Add a float of dry red wine and you have a “New
you need a headache (Simon Difford does a commendable job
30 ml Jamaican rum
York Sour.” Garnish with a Newport and you have a “Cleveland 20 ml lime juice
explaining on his eponymous website). Sour.” Okay, I made that last one up. The egg white provides 7 ml grapefruit juice
a creamy mouthfeel, which softens the citrus and tames the
Vermouth Panache 15 ml falernum
tannic harshness of the whiskey, but it’s not necessary. Don’t
Ernest Hemingway, Pilar (his boat), Havana, 1934 let anyone—especially a self-righteous bartender—tell you 7 ml cinnamon syrup
otherwise. Egg whites have been used in cocktails for over a 5 ml grenadine
60 ml dry vermouth 2 dashes absinthe
century, but it’s your damn drink. For more information, flip to
30 ml sweet vermouth 1 dash Angostura bitters
the section on foam in Chapter VIII.
1 dash Angostura bitters
whip shake/dump/collins/pebble ice/mint sprig/straw
stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/lemon twist White Lady
Harry Craddock, The American Bar, London, c.1929 The first famous tiki cocktail. The recipe was a closely guarded
A simple but lovely low-ABV cocktail; one I often make at secret until 2006, when Jeff Berry discovered it in the notebook
home. As recounted by the man himself, in a May 1936 Esquire 60 ml gin of former Beachcomber headwaiter Dick Santiago.
article about marlin fishing off the coast of Havana, this was an 20 ml Cointreau
impromptu aperitif whipped up for the crew before a dinner of 20 ml lemon juice Zombie (Simplified)
spaghetti. Take me back. 5 ml simple syrup (1:1) Branden von Fugate, his kitchen, San Diego, 2024
15 ml egg white (optional)
Vesper 60 ml aged Jamaican rum
Ivar Brice, Casino Royale, 1953 dry shake (if using egg white)/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/lem- 20 ml lime juice
on twist (expressed & discarded) 15 ml grapefruit juice
45 ml gin
30 ml vodka 15 ml cinnamon syrup
White Linen 2 dashes absinthe
15 ml Cocchi Americano Rene Dominguez, Ella Dining Room, Sacramento, 2008
whip shake/dump/collins/pebble ice/mint sprig/treat for being a
shake/fine strain/nick & nora/lemon twist 45 ml gin good boy (optional)/straw
The iconic Bond cocktail from the very first novel. Ian Fleming 30 ml lemon juice
15 ml elderflower liqueur Is it as good? No. Is it pretty good? Yeah.
would later credit Brice with its creation. The original called for,
now extict, Kina Lillet. Cocchi Americano is a solid substitute, 15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
but Lillet Blanc will work fine in a pinch. The original recipe 3 cucumber slices
called for shaking, therefore so do I; but in the words of Aleister 60 ml soda water (to top; do not shake)
Crowley, “do what thou wilt.”
shake/fine strain/collins/cube ice/top/cucumber slice(s)
Vieux Carré
Walter Bergeron, Hotel Monteleone Carousel Bar, New Orleans,1930s White Russian
Advertisement for Coffee Southern Liqueur (Oakland Tribune, 03/21/1965)
30 ml rye
30 ml cognac 30 ml vodka
20 ml sweet vermouth 30 ml coffee liqueur
7 ml Bénédictine 30 ml heavy cream (floated)
3 dashes Peychaud’s bitters build/rocks glass/cube ice
2 dashes Angostura bitters
A creamy riff on the Black Russian. You don’t have to like these.
stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/lemon twist They are, admittedly, a lot. That said, they’re canonical enough
that any bartender worth their salt should be able to make one.
Pronounced “voo ka-ray” in French Creole (literally: “old square,”
Also, it’s okay to like these. I couldn’t have two, but I sure as shit
a reference to the French Quarter).
will take a sip of yours. A big sip.

Ward Eight First known reference is sometimes attributed to the Diner’s Club
unknown, Lock-Ober, Boston, c.1898 Drink Book (1961), but the two copies I’ve seen do not include
it (others have confirmed the same). It seems likely that it was
60 ml rye whiskey added in the 1966 edition, which I do not own; a situation I
15 ml lemon juice don’t intend to remedy, since the Oakland Tribune reference takes
15 ml orange juice the cake in that case.
7 ml grenadine
Watching the cream slowly integrate into the drink is
shake/fine strain/nick & nora/orange twist mesmerizing, but give it a quick stir before enjoying (after you’ve
taken your pictures). Instruct your guests to do the same.
Water Lily
Richard Boccato, Little Branch, NYC, 2007 Widow’s Kiss
George J. Kappeler, Modern American Drinks, 1895
20 ml gin
20 ml lemon juice 60 ml apple brandy
20 ml Cointreau 7 ml Yellow Chartreuse
20 ml crème de violette 7 ml Bénédictine
shake/fine strain/nick & nora/lemon twist stir/strain/nick & nora/picked cocktail cherry

52
 Signature Cocktails

These are cocktails I’ve created for multiple bars, menus, and events over the years. The recipes are lifted from training guides, notes on my phone, napkins stuffed into books, and the bar journal I kept in
my back pocket for years, until it completely fell apart. I’ve done my best to format them for home use, but some will, inevitably, be a pain to recreate. Attempt them or not. They exist here as a personal
memento, and a celebration of the creative act.

I like to collaborate. Most of my menus are created with input of several folks, and not just bartenders (somms, chefs, servers, whoever is around). That said, every cocktail below, with one exception that
I note in the recipe, is comfortably my own creation, or my version of a traditional beverage. Nope, wait, the very talented Jason Archer suggested Fernet-Branca in the Alpine Egg Nog. And I suppose I
stole the garnish for TableCider from my mentor, Beau du Bois. Okay, so three. The rest are mine. I think.

The asterisk (✱) denotes cocktails that I encourage professional bartenders to steal. They are easy to make, and comprised of few ingredients i.e., ready to be modern classics, if I may be so bold. They’re
also some of my favorites. Just don’t change the names, you bastards.

Abeja Robótica Americano Americano Birthday Party

45 ml mezcal 30 ml Campari Large Format:
15 ml dry vermouth 30 ml sweet vermouth 600 ml white rum
30 ml lemon 90-120 ml club soda 300 ml pisco
15 ml ginger syrup (1:1) 30 ml chilled espresso (to top) 300 ml gin
15 ml habanero honey (2:1) build/collins/cube ice/top/straw 300 ml lime juice
15 ml egg white 300 ml grapefruit juice
This started as a joke, after a guest ordered an americano (coffee)
shake/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/bee pollen half rim 150 ml Giffard coconut syrup
and received an Americano (cocktail) instead. It’s actually lovely,
I think for the same reasons that orange with chocolate is lovely. 150 ml maraschino liqueur
All Painted Up Like Trash 150 ml cinnamon syrup (1:1)
If you don’t have an espresso machine at home, coffee from a 75 ml absinthe or Pernod
45 ml Jamaican rum moka pot should work just fine.
15 ml gin pink vanilla cotton candy (garnish)
20 ml lime juice 15 ml lemon extract (garnish; accelerant)
Atole
20 ml pineapple juice • prepare dispenser with pebble ice; one
250 g fresh nixtamal dough or masa harina
15 ml orgeat ring of lemon wheels arranged in
1 L water
7 ml grenadine (bottom of glass) center
1 can evaporated milk • slowly pour cocktail into dispens-
1 bottle Underberg (garnish) 40 g white chocolate er until 3/4 full
whip shake first 5 ingredients/dump/snifter or collins with grena- 200 g white cane sugar • add more ice to dispenser and
dine already added/pebble ice/upturned Underberg bottle (dump 1 cinnamon stick add remaining cocktail
half on top of ice before adding)/straw • top with cotton candy
blend for approximately 8 minutes (until steaming); strain through
fine chinois; consume within 1 week • drizzle with lemon extract
This was created for a John Waters’ Cry-Baby themed Goth
• flame on
Night, and based (at least in appearance) on Jane Danger’s
clay mug or coffee cup/serve hot • Serve with coupes
Imperial Bulldog.
Traditional pre-Hispanic Mesoamerican beverage made with Single Serving:
Alpine Egg Nog corn masa. My addition of chocolate would lead some to call it 30 ml white rum
champurrado, but not as a rule. I don’t recommend adding booze. 15 ml pisco
Batch Recipe: Not only does it not really work (I’ve tried), but I also think we
15 ml gin
12 eggs should just respect the tradition. It’s a ridiculously comforting
15 ml lime juice
350 g white cane sugar drink. Upon tasting this white boy’s fumbling attempt at
recreating a cultural icon, my Sous Chef at Sueño (a Mayan 15 ml grapefruit juice
3 g kosher salt 7 ml Giffard coconut syrup
2 g freshly grated nutmeg descendant who speaks fluent Nahuatl) remarked, “I’m back in
my grandmother’s kitchen.” I know he was probably just being 7 ml maraschino liqueur
360 ml cognac 7 ml cinnamon syrup (1:1)
kind, but I cried then and I’m almost crying now.
360 ml bourbon 3 dashes absinthe or Pernod
180 ml rainwater Madeira If you don’t have a blender capable of cooking (such as a
90 ml Averna Vitamix), fucking get one. Until you do, you can simply blend whip shake/dump/collins/pebble ice/
until smooth and then heat gently on the stove. This has a mint (or flaming cotton candy)/straw
90 ml Fernet-Branca
tendency to burn over direct heat though, so low heat, a double
1.2 L half and half boiler, and constant stirring are all recommended. A shameless ripoff of the amazing White Zombie cocktail created
• blend eggs on low until smooth by Zac Overman of Fort Defiance bar in Brooklyn—itself a riff
• slowly add sugar and salt and nutmeg and blend on low until on the iconic Donn Beach original. I’ve rejiggered the specs
Being Cheap is Strangely Expensive
dissolved slightly (mostly to make it less lethal) and swapped the passion
• add just enough booze to blender to make mixture fully liquid 45 ml cachaça fruit for coconut (I wanted it clear and I preferred it in any case).
• pour into cambro and add all remaining ingredients 20 ml lime
This appeared on the “Kids’ Menu” at Tender Mercy (secret menu
• whisk to combine 15 ml simple syrup (1:1) served upon request only; it came with crayons) as a large format
15 ml Midori cocktail, served in a patterned glass dispenser and topped with
build/rocks glass/cube ice/fresh grated cinnamon
1 barspoon Green Chartreuse a big cloud of pink vanilla cotton candy (we had a commercial
Single Serving: 1 barspoon Chareau aloe liqueur cotton candy machine in the kitchen­—they’re cheaper than you
20 ml cognac think). Tableside, the cotton candy would be lightly drizzled with
whip shake/dump/rocks glass/pebble ice/neon red cocktail cherry/
20 ml bourbon straw
highly flammable lemon extract and set ablaze, rapidly melting
10 ml rainwater Madeira into the cocktail. The resulting fire was so big we could only offer
5 ml Averna this is our back bar (taller ceilings).
Be Nice
5 ml Fernet-Branca If you’re insistent on recreating the spectacle at home, a cheap
45 ml gin
2 heaping barspoons white cane sugar tabletop cotton candy machine can be had for around $30 at
15 ml amontillado sherry
1 whole egg time of writing.
15 ml lime
75 ml half and half Please be careful.
15 ml blood orange syrup
dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/rocks glass/cube ice/fresh grated 15 ml Giffard Vanille de Madagascar
nutmeg & cinnamon 15 ml egg white
Key bump edible gold dust
dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/Angostura bitters heart
stencil

53
Black Light Painting Bootleg Clarified Milk Punch
30 ml cognac 60 ml Żubrówka Bison Grass vodka
Flagship Recipe:
20 ml Licor 43 30 ml Berentzen apple liqueur
15 ml blackstrap rum 30 ml lemon juice 1 g coriander seeds
15 ml amontillado sherry 20 ml agave nectar 1 g whole cloves
1 whole egg Key bump edible gold dust 2 cinnamon sticks
60 ml oatmeal stout foam (to top; do not shake) 2 star anise pods
shake/strain/collins/cube ice/raspberry 1 g kosher salt
Chocolate chip cookie (garnish; optional)
500 g white cane sugar
dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/snifter/top/fresh grated cinna- Boy/Friend Peels of 10 lemons
mon 60 ml blanco tequila 1 pineapple, peeled and cut into large chunks
A collaboration cocktail between myself, a local brewer, and a 15 ml lime 800 ml weak green tea (from 10 tea bags or 10 tsp. loose
local baker. Supercharging oatmeal stout with N2O in a whipped 20 ml nutmeg syrup tea)
cream charger basically turns it into soft serve. I called iSi to see 7 ml Giffard pineapple liqueur 600 ml lemon juice
if this was safe and they were like, “we have no idea but probably 5 ml Chareau aloe liqueur 40 ml Peychaud’s bitters
not,” which I took as permission to carry on. Since the 1L models 15 ml dry red wine (float) 150 ml absinthe or Pernod
can be double charged, and stouts are often lightly carbonated to
begin with, I think a single charge should be perfectly fine. Also, whip shake/dump/rocks glass/pebble ice/float/pineapple frond & 220 ml Batavia Arrack
if you’re using a well-made unit (like an iSi), they will fail safely dehydrated pineapple fan & fresh ground nutmeg/straw 220 ml bourbon
before exploding. So...spend the extra money and undertake at I had almost given up on developing a cold season margarita 300 ml cognac
your own risk. I assume no responsibility for my irresponsibility. riff for Sueño (reposado and cinnamon sounds obvious, but I’m 300 ml white rum
extremely committed to a bright, grassy blanco in a margarita, sue 600 ml Jamaican rum
A regular stout will work in a pinch, but the higher protein of an
oatmeal stout will create a tighter and longer lasting (and tastier) me) when I discovered an updated recipe for Hannah Woolley 1 liter whole milk
foam. The cookie we used also had potato chips and pretzel Punch (1672) that incorporated nutmeg syrup; bingo. A splash of • lightly crush spices and add to large Cambro or similar (at
pieces. Yeah. red wine provides even more seasonal warmth, while the aloe and least 5 L capacity) with salt, sugar, lemon peels, and pineapple
pineapple keep it from being made of flannel (and they sing with chunks; shake or stir to combine
nutmeg). At the end of the day, it’s still a marg. Think of it as a • cover and macerate at room temperature for a minimum of 1
Black Milk warm sweater made of swimming trunks.
45 ml lavender-infused vodka hour but preferably overnight, shaking regularly
20 ml cognac • add hot green tea and stir until sugar is completely dissolved;
Broken Blue Heart allow to cool slightly
20 ml Bigallet China-China 60 ml gin • add all remaining ingredients, except for milk, and stir to
5 g Café Du Monde ground coffee and chicory 20 ml fake lime combine; cover and infuse overnight
30 ml milk simple (1:2) (in bottom of glass) 15 ml Giffard passion fruit liqueur • strain into additional large Cambro already containing cold
build/rocks glass/cube ice/pour first 3 cocktail ingredients over 7 ml ouzo milk (if you only have one Cambro: strain, rinse, add milk,
coffee in Vietnamese phin filter/serve with tea spoon 1 barspoon blue curaçao then add strained mixture into milk—not the other way
30 ml club soda (to top; do not shake) around); stir gently to assist curdling
Milk Simple (1:2) is 1 part sweetened condensed milk combined • cover and store overnight (preferably cold but not strictly
with 2 parts simple syrup (1:1). I wanted to call it Sugar Cum but 7 ml emerald spirit (float)
necessary)
my staff threatened to quit. shake/strain/collins/cube ice/top/float/straw • strain through whatever you got (fine chinois, cheesecloth,
A big ice cube is really preferred here. coffee filter, Superbag, tea towel, wet napkins, clean tee shirt,
This recipe is the final text I received from my protégé and, more
etc.); it will take hours, but should start dripping clear in 20
importantly, dear friend. It didn’t yet have a name. It’s the only
Black Yukon Sucker Punch recipe in this section that is not my own. The only change I made minutes or so
• collect the cloudy liquid (before it started running clear) and
150 ml Black Yukon Base (pre-chilled) was to dye it the colors of his hair. Emerald Spirit is made by
combining equal parts Hamilton 151 rum and blue curaçao. It gently pass back through curds; go do something else for a
90 ml Blue Foam
floats easily (and beautifully) on top of the bright blue cocktail. while
build/chilled 8 oz delmonico glass/pour in base then top with foam That’s about how I remember it. • optionally: do one final pass through a new coffee filter; this
should go quickly
“You have to watch these; they sneak up on ya.” -Judge Clinton Hug your friends.
Sternwood Simplified (and smaller) Recipe:
This began life as a fictional cocktail from the Twin Peaks Cargo Cult (non-alcoholic) Peels of 2 lemons
universe, where it makes an enigmatic appearance in S2:E5 30 ml pineapple juice 115 g white cane sugar
(“The Orchid’s Curse”). Despite no obvious recipe (even the 30 ml lime 180 ml weak green tea (from 4 tea bags)
ingredients are only hinted at by an eagle-eyed scanning of the 7 ml Giffard coconut syrup 125 ml lemon juice
backbar)—either in the episode itself or 7 ml simple syrup (1:1) 30 ml pineapple juice
by a member of production in the years
60 ml ginger beer (to top; do not shake) 10 ml Angostura bitters
following—fans of the series (read: any
decent person) have been attempting 30 ml absinthe or Pernod
shake/strain/tiki mug or collins/cube ice/top/edible flower or lime
to reverse-engineer (or just engineer) wheel 375 ml Jamaican Rum (preferably Smith & Cross)
a palatable version for ages. They have, 250 ml whole milk
without exception, failed miserably. Carajillo Blanco • add sugar and lemon peels to Cambro or similar (at least 2 L
Think I’m being hyperbolic? Go 30 ml cardamom tequila capacity); toss to coat
ahead and try some of the recipes • allow to macerate for at least 1 hour but preferably overnight;
30 ml espresso or cold brew concentrate
currently available online. Return stir/shake occasionally
here when you’re done barfing.
15 ml Licor 43
• add hot green tea and stir until sugar is completely dissolved;
7 ml coffee liqueur
I say, with great humility, † allow to cool slightly
7 ml heavy cream (float) • add all remaining ingredients, except for milk, and stir to
that I have succeeded where
the others have failed. Why? build/rocks glass/cube ice/float combine
Who knows. Maybe, it’s my • strain; add milk to rinsed Cambro, then pour strained mixture
reward for virtuous living.‡ Maybe, it’s because I’m the greatest Caribaldi into milk (not the other way around)
bartender to ever live. That’s not really for me to say, but—yes, 30 ml Campari • stir gently to assist curdling; cover and infuse for 1 hour
it's probably that last one. • strain through whatever you got (fine chinois, cheesecloth,
30 ml carrot juice
coffee filter, Superbag, tea towel, wet napkins, clean tee shirt,
If using a larger glass, just eyeball about 60% base to 40% foam. 120 ml fluffy orange juice
etc.); it will take a while, but should start dripping clear in 10
Don’t use too big a glass though. They sneak up on ya. build/add first two ingredients to 8 oz delmonico glass/3 ice cubes/ minutes or so
† Jk, they should give me the Nobel prize in chemistry for this. top with fluffy orange juice/orange half moon/serve immediately • collect the cloudy liquid (before it started running clear) and
‡ Jk, I’m rotten. gently pass back through curds; go do something else for a
Popularized by New York’s celebrated Dante, fluffy orange juice
while
is made by running peeled oranges through a basic centrifugal
Blood Brother ✱ • optionally: do one final pass through a new coffee filter; this
juicer (such as a Breville Juice Fountain) just before serving (we
60 ml blanco tequila should go quickly
did ours to order). A similar—though not exact—result can be
30 ml cinnamon syrup (1:1) achieved by blitzing fresh oj with a blender (free-standing or I strongly encourage you to go back to Chapter VIII and read
20 ml lime juice immersion). You can, of course, skip the fluffy, but it really is a the section on clarification, in if you haven’t already. The flagship,
2 dashes orange bitters big part of the appeal. adapted from an 1862 Jerry Thomas recipe, will really show you
15 ml dry red wine (float) what a milk punch can do, but the simplified recipe will allow
you to dip your toe in the water, and provide a simple template
whip shake/dump/collins/pebble ice/float/straw on which to riff.

54
Coconut-Aged Oaxaca Old Fashioned Diablo Rubio Gløgg
75 ml mezcal 20 ml saffron gin Batch Recipe:
75 ml reposado tequila 20 ml Salers Apéritif
2 cinnamon sticks
15 ml agave nectar 20 ml Dolin Blanc
15 cloves
8 dashes Angostura bitters 20 ml Ancho Reyes chile liqueur
4 green cardamom pods
4 dashes orange bitters
stir/strain/nick & nora/lemon twist 10 g sliced ginger
45 ml water
300 g white cane sugar
1 brown coconut
Ego Death Peels and juice of one orange
• make opening in coconut with 20mm spade drill bit 60 ml rosemary-infused tequila 180 ml lemon juice
• pour out coconut water and discard (water from brown coco- 15 ml lime 1.5 L cheap(ish) dry red wine
nuts is not fit for consumption)
15 ml grapefruit juice 750 ml rainwater Madeira
• rinse inside with a splash of hot water, being careful not to get
coconut too wet (ideally, use a funnel); pour out water
7 ml Pierre Ferrand Dry Curaçao 180 ml vodka
• pour in cocktail 7 ml crème de violette • lightly crush spices
• seal with clean wine cork; mist around wine cork with vodka 7 ml crème de mûre • simmer with all remaining ingredients, except vodka, for 10
(this inhibits mold growth) 7 ml simple syrup (1:1) minutes
• place upright in labeled and dated pint-size deli cup and store • add vodka
shake/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/dehydrated grapefruit wheel with
cold • add to pre-heated vacuum carafe
smoking rosemary sprig poked through center
• serve between 5-10 days of aging teacup prepped with 3 Marcona almonds and 5 golden raisins;
• NOTE: If prepping multiple coconuts, each will receive 200 teaspoon on the saucer
Eight Inch Cocktail
ml of batch
45 ml Jameson whiskey
speed pourer in coconut/2 rocks glasses/cube ice/lime twist or coin 15 ml rhum agricole Golden Penicillin
An aging method developed by Ryan Casey of The Dewberry 30 ml lime juice 60 ml golden raisin scotch
in Charleston, South Carolina, and originally employed for a 20 ml pineapple peel syrup 30 ml lemon juice
Negroni. I found that the subtle coconut flavor—which after 7 ml Giffard Banane de Brésil 15 ml honey syrup (2:1)
several days of controlled aging becomes earthy and round, 15 ml ginger syrup (1:1)
whip shake/dump/pebble ice/collins/2 dehydrated banana chips/
rather than cloying and tropical—lends itself particularly well 1 whole egg
straw
to agave spirits. Islay scotch (mist garnish)
This was originally created as an off-the-cuff bartender’s choice
Also, the presentation is game over. I served these on purpose- dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/rocks glass/cube ice/mist
cocktail for a group of female gynecologists (yes, I note the
made folding coconut stands—carved into three snakes—with
irony), who were out celebrating after one of them passed
a snake head pour spout and allowed guests to serve themselves Grilled Gibson
her board exams. I had just created the pineapple peel syrup to
into prepared glassware. Anything worth doing is worth doing
utilize byproducts from our Clarified Milk Punch production. 30 ml scallion gin
obnoxiously and for more money.
The result was delightfully grassy and tropical, so the splash of 30 ml vodka
rhum agricole (ditto on tasting notes) makes it sing. Banana and 7 ml honjozo sake
Coquito Jameson are well established bedfellows (see: Banana Jameson or 7 ml fino sherry
Batch Recipe: just visit Portsmouth, New Hampshire, where they’re obsessed 3 dashes orange bitters
250 ml white Puerto Rican rum with it).
5 drops 10% saline solution
250 ml aged Puerto Rican rum It was served in an eight inch tall collins glass. Get your mind
stir/strain/nick & nora/furikake stripe on outside of glass/torched
1 can coconut water (10.5 oz) out of the gutter.
trimmed spring onion
1 can Coco Lopez (15 oz)
1 can evaporated milk (12 oz) El Stupido✱
Heat Stroke
60 ml bourbon
blend until smooth; use within 1 week 60 ml vodka
15 ml lemon juice
build/rocks glass or coupe/fresh grated cinnamon 15 ml lemon
1 dash Tabasco sauce
15 ml Giffard apricot liqueur
Puerto Rico’s eggless answer to Eggnog. You could probably 1 dash celery bitters
7 ml Yellow Chartreuse
create a vegan version with evaporated coconut milk, but I don't 120 ml Sidral Mundet or other apple soda
7 ml molasses syrup (2:1)
associate with vegans around the holidays.
build/collins/cube ice/lemon wedge
shake/fine strain/coupe/big ice cube (trimmed to fit)/small pinch of
Death Mountain Motorcycle Club ✱ smoked salt on ice
French Bulldog
60 ml Planteray Stiggins’ Fancy pineapple rum 1 vodka or gin mini bottle
15 ml lime juice Hey
7 ml elderflower liqueur 75 ml hay rye
15 ml cinnamon syrup 7 ml simple syrup (1:1)
4 drops Bittercube Corazón bitters 7 ml sorghum syrup (2:1)
7 ml lime juice 4 dashes Angostura bitters
shake/fine strain/nick & nora/orange twist 1 can La Croix Pamplemousse (12 oz) 2 dashes orange bitters
This was my attempt to recreate the flavors of the al pastor street • pour out 75 ml La Croix
• widen mouth of can with metal citrus reamer stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/upside down orange twist with cha-
tacos I basically survived on my first few years in LA (particularly
• pour in elderflower liqueur, simple syrup, lime juice pulín (grasshopper) on top
those from Leo’s on the corner of Venice and La Brea, which was
open late and on my way home from the bar). I originally named • insert opened liquor bottle Hay infusions are one of my favorite discoveries of the past
this cocktail Los Angeles, which was what it was called on the • garnish with umbrella, mint, orchid several years. You can purchase organic hay at nearly any pet
opening menu of Sueño. However, around the same time, Adam store, yielding complex flavors of green tea and vanilla. Sorghum
Fournier was making a splash with his Los Angeles Sour (a loose Ghost Story ✱ is a grass that can, along with a dizzying array of other uses, be
riff on the Los Angeles Cocktail from The Savoy Cocktail Book). 30 ml bourbon cooked into a sweet syrup. The flavor is somewhere between cane
To avoid confusion, I changed the name. It’s a Zelda reference. 30 ml mezcal syrup and molasses with a pronounced grassiness (who would
It’s also a reference to the fact the I almost never stopped at Leo’s 7 ml Giffard Crème de Cacao have guessed). Roasted chapulíns are delicious; I eat them like
unless I was on my motorcycle. It was too packed to park a truck. potato chips. If you haven’t had them before, I encourage you to
3 dashes Angostura bitters
give them a try, but the drink will survive without it.
2 dashes orange bitters
Demon Lover
30 ml vodka stir/strain/nick & nora/orange twist Hi, How Are You?
30 ml gin 45 ml Dolin Blanc
15 ml Giffard Lichi-Li 15 ml Pommeau de Normandie
7 ml fino sherry 15 ml lemon juice
7 ml aquavit 15 ml falernum
1 dash Peychaud’s bitters 2 drops rose water
15 ml ginger kombucha (to top; do not shake)
stir/strain/nick & nora/picked lychee
shake/fine strain/coupe/top/float rose petal
It’s a fucking lychee martini. A damn good one. The name is a
gentle nod to loving something you’re not supposed to. The heart
wants what it wants. Go to hell. Find love.

55
Holy Mountain Lunch Box Eggnog ✱ Robots Will Kill Us All
60 ml banana Jameson 1 squeeze box Yoo-Hoo 60 ml spiced rum (homemade or Sailor Jerry)
15 ml Cynar 1 mini bottle Fireball whiskey 20 ml amontillado sherry
15 ml Punt e Mes cut small “x” in top of Yoo-Hoo with paring knife/remove lid of
20 ml lime juice
30 ml brûléed coffee banana meringue (garnish) Fireball/quickly invert into opening/place straw in designated hole/ 30 ml pecan orgeat
stir/strain/nick & nora/use iSi with metal tip to spread a flat layer of garnish with cocktail umbrella 3-4 dashes absinthe
coffee banana meringue/brûlée with kitchen torch, being careful not whip shake/dump/tiki mug or collins/pebble ice/flaming sugar cube
to heat rim of glass Medium Italy (Chapter VIII)/straw
60 ml smoked artichoke rye
Unapologetically tiki. Yes, it’s rich. Yes, there’s sugar. If you’re
Horchata 20 ml sweet vermouth self-conscious about your masculinity, know that it was a favorite
1 L water 15 ml Cynar of the construction crew that built Sueño.
200 g uncooked white rice
stir/nick & nora/grapefruit twist (expressed and discarded) & 3
2 cinnamon sticks picked elderflower-absinthe cherries Rubi Slipper
1 can (12 oz) evaporated milk 30 ml gin
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk More Better 15 ml cognac
Scant barspoon vanilla extract 60 ml blanco tequila 15 ml dry vermouth
3 g kosher salt 60 ml orange juice 20 ml lemon juice
1 L water 15 ml grapefruit juice 30 ml cocktail shampoo
• combine first 3 ingredients 15 ml lemon juice 2 dashes Peychaud’s bitters
• cover and store cold overnight 15 ml Aperol (sink) Pinch of salt
• blend on high for 3 minutes 15 ml spiced hibiscus syrup (sink) keybump edible red cocktail glitter
• strain through cheesecloth or nut milk bag
• add remaining ingredients and whisk vigorously until com- build/collins/cube ice/sinks/dehydrated lime wheel/straw shake/fine strain/coupe
bined A más mejor tequila sunrise. Yes, it’s also grammatically incorrect This was originally created to celebrate the 20th anniversary of
• use within 3 days in Spanish. Square One Salon, which is located across the street from Tender
build/rocks glass/cube ice/fresh grated cinnamon Mercy. The owners wanted something that evoked the salon’s
Morning Negroni ✱ signature scent: Rosemary Mint by Aveda.
Optional: pour over 60 ml Strawberry Purée (we save this for sum-
mer) or Pumpkin Spice Syrup (ditto autumn). The marbling is sexy
30 ml gin or mezcal In addition to being business owners and community boosters,
so get a pic before you stir. 30 ml sweet vermouth they are also leaders of a long running charity drag troupe called
30 ml coffee Campari the Rubi Girls that, to date, has raised over $2M for HIV/AIDS
House Vodka Soda 1 whole egg (optional) and LGBTQIA-related causes. While it was on tap (2+ years), $2
60 ml cacao butter vodka of every Rubi Slipper was donated to the Rubi Girls Foundation.
with egg: dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/orange coin
15 ml 4x strength sencha tea
without egg: stir/strain/nick & nora/orange twist
5 ml simple syrup (1:1) Spray Tan (non-alcoholic)
5 ml fake lime or lime juice Do not sleep on this cocktail [giggle]. I created it for the brunch 60 ml carrot juice
120 ml club soda menu at Sueño, and while it’s a little conceptual (the orange coin 15 ml orange juice
makes it look like a sunny side up egg), it’s not a novelty cocktail. 15 ml lime juice
build/collins/cube ice/grapefruit slice The earthy bitterness of the coffee compliments Campari 15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
This is a simplified version of the one on draft at Tender beautifully, while the richness of a whole egg softens all those
5 ml ginger juice
Mercy. The flavors had to be delicate enough so that the drink rough edges. Have this instead of breakfast. Life hack.
15 ml egg white or aquafaba
fundamentally remained a vodka soda, simple and refreshing.
Sencha seemed like an obvious choice, and I’ve always been a fan Muscle & Blood dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/nick & nora
of pairing green tea with white chocolate. That said, I didn’t want 15 ml aged rum
to incorporate an undue amount of sugar. Enter: cacao butter. 15 ml gin Sweat
Fat washing spirit in cacao butter for just a couple hours imparts 15 ml sweet vermouth 20 ml Stoli vodka
a richness and flavor that is so reminiscent of white chocolate 15 ml lime juice 7 ml Licor 43
that your brain will read it as subtly sweet, despite the fact that 15 ml pineapple juice 7 ml rainwater maderia
there’s no sugar. 7 ml amontillado sherry
30 ml spiced cranberry black tea syrup
3 dashes Yellow Chartreuse 7 ml fake lime or lime juice
Little Daddy
90 ml Miller High Life (to top; do not shake) 7 ml pineapple juice
60 ml cardamom cachaça
7 ml simple syrup (1:1)
4 lime slices whip shake/dump/rocks glass/pebble ice/mint/straw
30 ml coconut water
2 cape gooseberries If you double the recipe, and serve it in an oversized goblet or Big pinch of salt or 2 dashes 10% saline solution
7 ml simple syrup (1:1) stein, you can upturn a Miller High Life 7 oz pony bottle directly
1 demerara sugar cube into the cocktail; make that a regular 12 oz bottle for a 4x recipe; shake/strain/collins/cube ice/orchid/straw
make it a 40 oz bottle for a 14x recipe (the way we do it at Tender This was originally created for my birthday party, which was
muddle everything but booze/add booze/shake with ice/dump/
Mercy). sponsored by Stoli vodka, Hendrick’s gin, and Fernet-Branca.
rocks glass/cube ice/gooseberry with cape pulled back
Each sponsor wanted a signature cocktail. Enter: Blood (Fernet-
Poblano Bellini Branca), Sweat (Stoli), and Tears (Hendrick’s). Blood and Tears
Long Shadows
60 ml white peach purée didn’t make the cut for this book, but Sweat stayed on our menu
60 ml potato vodka for some time and become an unlikely fan favorite, considering it
7 ml Ancho Reyes Verde
30 ml lemon juice was created to taste like (tasty) sweat—musky and salty.
7 ml Giffard Crème de Pêche
15 ml ginger syrup (1:1)
120 ml cava Swap the simple syrup for blue curaçao and you have a Boy
15 ml honey syrup (2:1)
build/wine glass/swipe of purple pepper paint on inside of glass Trouble; long story.
15 ml egg white
20 ml beet juice (floated)
Poison Root
dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/coupe/float (will hover between
60 ml Batavia Arrack
foam and cocktail)
20 ml lime
20 ml carrot-miso syrup
Lunch Box Cider
2 dashes absinthe or Pernod
1 squeeze box apple juice
15 ml aquafaba
1 mini bottle Fireball whiskey
dry shake/shake with ice/fine strain/sour glass/skeleton leaf (clipped
cut small “x” in top of juice box
to outside of glass)
with paring knife/remove lid of
Fireball/quickly invert into opening/ Skeleton leaves are almost exclusively produced for decorative
place straw in designated hole/gar- purposes (scrapbooking, etc.) without food safety in mind. You
nish with cocktail umbrella can assume they’ve been bleached with chemicals you probably
don’t want in your cocktail. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I
don’t recommend letting them touch your drink (based on
Instagram, I seem to be of the minority opinion here). Hopefully
this goes without saying, but this cocktail will survive with a
different garnish (or none at all).

56
TableCider The Guy From That One Movie Vampiro
30 ml cognac 20 ml blanco tequila 10 g MSG
30 ml spiced rum (preferably Sailor Jerry) 20 ml mezcal 20 g kosher salt
15 ml apple brandy 20 ml simple syrup (1:1) 2 g black peppercorns
7 ml Bénédictine 15 ml passion fruit purée 50 g cilantro (leaves and stems)
1 g malic acid 20 ml lime juice 200 g beetroot
30 ml simple syrup (1:1) 15 ml Ancho Reyes 200 g cucumber
210 ml apple juice 7 ml Hamilton Pimento Dram 2 green onions
BOTANICALS: 7 slices dehydrated apple, 2 dehydrated orange
salt air (garnish) 1 jalapeño
wheels, 2 dehydrated lime wheels, 1 stick cinnamon, 1 star anise, 3 shake/fine strain/coupe/dollop of salt air
50 ml Tabasco sauce
g dried chamomile flowers, 2 g Earl Grey tea (in fillable tea bag) or 500 ml lime juice
This is my most successful cocktail to date and it’s not difficult 200 ml orange juice
1 Earl Grey tea bag
to see why: it’s a goddamn passion fruit margarita. What makes 1 L pomegranate juice
• add all ingredients, except botanicals, to bottom half of vacpot me kinda proud though is that I inject a lot of subtle complexity
and turn flame on high 1 big ass can tomato juice (46 oz)
without anyone really noticing: light smoke, gentle heat, and a
• attach filter to top half of vacpot and fill with botanicals; place touch of tiki spice, all barely above the threshold of perception. blend all ingredients, except tomato juice, on high for 1 minute;
atop bottom half and cover “Why do I like this so much?” Hehe. strain through fine chinois; whisk in tomato juice; use within 1
• once liquid travels to top half, allow to infuse for 1 minute, week
stirring constantly with a non-metal instrument (to prevent And then there’s the salt air. My partner (at the time) loved
breaking the glass) margaritas (I mean, she still loves margaritas but we’re no longer 60 ml spirit (optional)/120 ml batch/roll/fine strain/collins/cube
• turn off heat and allow to filter dating), and loved salt, but didn’t love the crusty mountains that ice/half salt rim
• divide between two teacups; teaspoon on saucer should be decorated the rim of most margs. So I created this for her. It’s
delicate, beautiful, lightly salty, and incorporates flavors from “The Bloody Mary is a cave painting; this is the Mona Lisa.”
prepped with whipped Angostura butter -kind bar guest that now gets free drinks for life
the cocktail itself. If you don’t have an air pump (I like a Tetra
This is, admittedly, a little involved for home preparation but it Whisper aquarium bubbler outfitted with a 0.5 micron stainless This is my take on a classic Mexican cocktail with a lot of
makes a hell of an impression. steel diffusion stone), you can get close enough with a cheap milk regional variation. The biggest divide seems to be pomegranate
frother. You can also just add 7 ml of salt air liquid to the cocktail vs. tomato. Fuck it, let’s do both. Let’s also add beets, mostly for
Teenager’s First Cigarette before shaking for a more traditional foam. You can also add the color (I really wanted it to look like blood), but also for some
45 ml clove-infused scotch salt air liquid to a whipped cream charger for a creamy foam. You earthiness. Don’t skip—or fear—the MSG. It’s cheap, available
45 ml Punt e Mes can also just be a normal person and do a salt rim. at Asian groceries or online, makes the drink pop, and is safer
7 ml Fernet-Branca Most people just call it The Guy. than the tequila you’re about to reach for.
7 ml Thai tea syrup This recipe makes between 20-30 servings, depending on if
stir/strain/rocks glass/cube ice/upside down orange twist (ashtray) The Screamer you’re adding alcohol. Obviously, feel free to cut the recipe in
& torched cinnamon stick 60 ml apple-mushroom rye half, or double it, depending on your needs. It’s a great choice
15 ml sweet vermouth for a brunch party. The unspiked batch should last in the fridge
15 ml Cynar for around 1 week.
Telenovela
45 ml fresno chile tequila 7 ml maraschino liqueur
Verde Mary
15 ml salted watermelon syrup stir/strain/nick & nora/dehydrated apple slice 6 tomatillos
15 ml lime juice
Make this. It’s amazing. 1 cucumber
15 ml rosé wine
2 stalks celery
2 dashes orange bitters
This Cocktail Sucks 2 green onions
whip shake/dump/rocks glass/pebble ice/dehydrated lime wheel/ 45 ml gin 2 serrano chiles
straw 15 ml Aperol 1 poblano chile
15 ml lime juice 1 bunch cilantro (leaves and stems)
The Appletini 30 ml apple juice 45 ml tamari
45 ml vodka 7 ml simple syrup (1:1) 90 ml lime juice
7 ml blended scotch 5 drops rose water 60 ml simple syrup (1:1)
7 ml Averna 60 ml club soda (to top; do not shake) blend until smooth; strain through fine chinois; use within 1 week
15 ml Berentzen Apple Liqueur
20 ml super apple whip shake/dump/collins/cube ice/top/Isomalt Lollipop in straw 60 ml spirit (optional)/120 ml batch/build/rocks glass/cube ice/
20 ml lime juice or fake lime pickled carrot
2 dashes Angostura bitters Tinder Mercy (serves 2)
1 dash 10% saline solution or pinch of salt 60 ml Jameson Black Barrel Virgin Who Can’t Drive (non-alcoholic)
barspoon apple cider vinegar 30 ml Pommeau de Normandie 1 sprig mint
30 ml champagne acid 2 slices cucumber
shake/fine strain/coupe/dehydrated apple slice 120 ml diluted golden syrup (1:1) 60 ml apple juice
5 g dried chamomile flowers 7 ml white vinegar
The Coconut 300 ml boiling water 120 ml Jarritos tamarind soda
60 ml aged rum 5 g dry ice pellets
15 ml coffee liqueur muddle mint and cucumber in collins/add cube ice/add remaining
• add first 4 ingredients to glass tea kettle
1 Thai coconut ingredients
• add chamomile flowers to ultra fine mesh steeping basket
open coconut/fine strain coconut water/add booze to coconut/ • pour boiling water over steeping basket
• immediately add dry ice to steeping basket and cover
Xocolatl (non-alcoholic)
return coconut water (drink remainder)/cocktail umbrella/spoon/
1 L whole milk
straw serve at once; 2 tea cups/teaspoon & lemon wedge on saucer 75 ml agave syrup
I stole this idea from Caña Rum Bar in Los Angeles, where 100 ml tahini
barbacks effortlessly crack open coconuts all night long with an TM Vaccine 100 g dark chocolate
impressive looking machete. They spike theirs with blackstrap 60 ml Green Tea Jameson .75 g cinnamon
rum (which is lovely), but I wanted to show off a locally-owned 15 ml simple syrup (1:1)
agave-based coffee liqueur (Cantera Negra Café), and aged rum
.75 g chile powder
10 ml Giffard Crème de Pêche
allowed it to properly shine. heat slow and low, whisking constantly, until chocolate melts (do
20 ml fake lime
NOT allow to boil)/serve in heatproof mug
While, admittedly, a big knife makes an impression behind 40 ml club soda
the bar (I'm partial to a kukri), I strongly recommend a cheap Peach bursting boba pearls Rich and indulgent “Mexican” drinking chocolate developed
coconut opening tool. The risk to reward is pretty imbalanced at for Sueño. Don’t skip the tahini (little trick I learned from Bon
the best of times, even more so when you’re performing just for separate into 3 shot glasses prepped with 3 boba pearls Appétit)—turns it into pure silk.
your cats. This is my take on a Green Tea shot (Jameson, peach schnapps,
sour mix, Sprite). We got so many requests for them that I
decided to put one on draft. Also, we opened 3 days before the
Covid pandemic.

57
 Preparations

These are special ingredients, nearly all of them called for in recipes on the preceding pages. Some, however, are here to demonstrate techniques discussed in other parts of the text. Others still are orphans,
either my contributions to cocktails that are not my own, or interesting experiments for which I’ve yet to find a home. Steal, alter, adapt, and repurpose to your heart’s content. Let me know if you come
up with anything cool (contact information on back page).

A note on sugar:
Nearly all of the recipes below that call for sugar, specify “white cane sugar.” Don’t let that confuse you. I’m not requiring you to buy fancy, organic, small-batch, unrefined white sugar (whatever that is),
or anything with “raw” in the title. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t. For our purposes, it sucks. I just don’t want you to use sugar made from beets, if you can help it (I details my reasoning in Chapter VII:
"Syrups"). Feel free to buy the cheapest white sugar you can find, provided it says “cane” somewhere on the label, or in the ingredients list (which should be a total of one ingredient). In terms of national
brands, C&H and Domino are just fine.

A note on storage:
If this were a cocktail codex for a professional bar, nearly every one of these recipes would end with the same phrase. I’m going to save some ink and just say it once here: label, date, and store cold.
All prepared ingredients, even high-alcohol infusions that are technically shelf-stable, will benefit from less exposure to both heat and light. If fridge space is a concern, pick your battles, but I strongly
encourage you to get into the habit of labeling and dating all of your concoctions (painter’s tape and a Sharpie, baby), no mater where they’re stored, or for how long. I’ll note in specific recipes when shelf
life is a concern.

10% Saline Solution Blood Orange Syrup Chamomile vermouth

225 ml water 200 ml blood orange juice 1 L bianco vermouth
25 g kosher salt 150 g white cane sugar 5 g dried chamomile
shake until salt is completely dissolved blend until sugar is completely dissolved infuse for 24 hours; fine strain and return to bottle
Many cocktails (not all) may benefit from a dash of saline.
Blue Foam Champagne Acid
Apple-Mushroom Rye 175 ml simple syrup (1:1) 3 g tartaric acid
1 L rye whiskey 115 ml lemon juice 3 g lactic acid
1 apple, core removed and roughly chopped (not peeled) 115 ml egg white 93 g water
10 g dried mushrooms, blanched for 30 seconds 30 ml Giffard blue curaçao blend on high for several seconds
infuse in glass jar or Cambro for 24 hours; strain through fine combine in .5 L iSi cream whipper; shake; charge with one N2O
chinois; return to bottle charger; use within 3 days Cinnamon Syrup
500 ml water
Dealer’s choice on mushrooms. I used a “forest blend” from Burnt Cinnamon Campari 2 cinnamon sticks
our produce distributor, but I’d love to experiment with single
1 L Campari white cane sugar
varieties at some point (I’ll wager shiitake is pretty bomb.) Fresh
mushrooms could conceivably work, but the flavor won’t be
3 cinnamon sticks simmer cinnamon sticks in water for 30 minutes; strain and weigh
as concentrated and you’ll be incorporating additional water burn about 1” of end of cinnamon sticks with torch then add to resultant liquid; add equal weight sugar while still hot; stir until
to boot. To be honest, dehydrated apples would probably be a glass jar or Cambro with Campari; infuse for 48 hours; fine strain completely dissolved; use within 2 weeks
better move here, but I’ve had perfectly acceptable results with and return to bottle
fresh, so that’s the recipe. Clove Scotch
There’s no official use for this in the preceding recipes (it was my
contribution to a colleague’s cocktail), but it makes an amazing 750 ml blended scotch
Apple Soda Syrup 10 whole cloves
Negroni. If you add a few pineapple chunks to the infusion,
200 g white cane sugar then use it to make a mezcal Negroni, you have a Taco Truck add cloves to bottle; infuse for 1 week; fine strain and return to
300 g apple juice on your hands—one of the most celebrated creations from my bottle
10 g malic acid mentor, Beau du Bois (included in “101 Best New Cocktails” by
3 g kosher salt Gaz Regan). If you have a whipped cream charger, you can do this overnight.

blend until sugar is completely dissolved; use within 1 week

Cacao Butter Vodka Cocktail Shampoo
More than once during the pandemic, we had trouble sourcing 1 L vodka 500 g white cane sugar
Sidral Mundet. This was our stopgap. 10 g cacao butter 25 g lemon peels
For apple soda: mix 1 part syrup with 2 parts club soda, just • add vodka to Cambro or other sturdy plastic vessel (glass will 10 g dried lavender
before serving break in the freezer) 10 g fresh mint
• melt cacao butter over low heat 10 g fresh rosemary
Ascorbic Acid Solution (inhibits browning) • add to vodka and whisk vigorously 5 g loose leaf green tea
1 L water • allow to infuse at room temperature for 1 hour, whisking 500 ml hot water
2 g ascorbic acid powder occasionally
combine all ingredients, except for water, and allow to macerate
• freeze for at least 3 hours (preferably overnight)
whisk until powder is completely dissolved overnight (you’re making an herbal oleo-saccharum); add water;
• immediately (while cacao butter is still frozen) strain; ideally
whisk vigorously until all sugar is dissolved; fine strain. Use within
strain the big solids quickly then pass through coffee filter
Banana Jameson 2 weeks
• return to bottle
1 L Jameson whiskey This was originally an ingredient for a cocktail commissioned
2 peeled bananas Cardamom Cachaça to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Square One Salon. It was
2 green cardamom pods meant to evoke their signature scent: Aveda’s Rosemary Mint. It’s
infuse in glass jar or Cambro for 48 hours; strain carefully through
1 L cachaça the backbone of the Rubi Slipper, but also makes a lovely n/a
fine chinois, being careful not to mash bananas
cooler (1 part shampoo to 2 parts club soda), sweetener in tea, or
A specialty of Portsmouth, New Hampshire (don’t ask because I blend on high for 1 minute; strain through coffee filter; return to drizzled over oatmeal, pancakes, people. Send pics.
don’t know), it’s undeniably a revelation. In Portsmouth, it might bottle
even appear on a whiskey list, as a standalone spirit. Trust me. Coconut Rum
Try it. Worst case scenario: you’ve lost a bottle of Jameson and Cardamom Tequila 50 g coconut oil
2 bananas. I once raced for pink slips. They were lawnmowers, 2 green cardamom pods 1 L white rum
but still. 1 L blanco tequila • add rum to Cambro or other sturdy plastic vessel (glass will
blend on high for 1 minute; strain through coffee filter; return to break in the freezer)
Black Yukon Base • melt coconut oil over low heat
bottle
375 ml cognac • add to rum and whisk vigorously
250 ml Licor 43 • allow to infuse at room temperature overnight
Carrot-Miso Syrup
190 ml amontillado sherry • freeze for at least 3 hours (preferably overnight)
250 g carrot juice
190 ml blackstrap rum • immediately (while coconut oil is still frozen) strain; ideally
125 g white cane sugar
250 ml cold brew concentrate strain the big solids then pass through coffee filter
15 g red miso
• return to bottle
combine (that's it)
blend until sugar is completely dissolved; use within 1 week

58
Coffee Banana Meringue Fluff (vegan foamer) Gomme/Gum Syrup
60 ml egg white 30 g gum arabic 25 g gum arabic
60 ml cold brew 120 ml hot water 25 ml hot water
60 ml banana Jameson 7.2 g Methocel F50 200 g white cane sugar
60 ml simple syrup (1:1) 200 ml hot water 175 ml water (or fruit juice, tea, wine, etc.)
• combine in .5 L iSi whipper 1.2 g xanthan gum • combine gum arabic with hot water; stir with chopstick or
• shake vigorously to combine 400 ml cold water barspoon until a smooth paste is formed
• charge with one N2O charger • combine 30 g gum arabic and 120 ml hot water in deli cup • cover and allow to hydrate overnight
• shake again with lid • add sugar and remaining water (or liquid of choice); whisk vig-
• keep cold, shake again before using • shake vigorous, label, then allow to hydrate overnight in orously or blend until sugar is completely dissolved
• use within 3 days refrigerator • use within 2 weeks
• combine 7.2 g. Methocel F50 with 200 ml hot water in metal
Coffee Campari mixing bowl Habanero Honey (2:1)
750 ml Campari • whisk gently until no clumps remain (gently to prevent foam- 450 g honey
10 g fresh ground coffee ing) 225 g hot water
• combine 1.2 xanthan gum with 400 ml cold water in blender 1 habanero chile
infuse in bottle overnight; strain through coffee filter; return to • blend on low until no clumps remain (approximately 1 min-
rinsed bottle • blend water and chile for 20 seconds
ute)
• allow to settle before opening blender jar (the air will be spicy)
• gently stir together all three preparations (very gently to pre-
Diluted Cane Syrup (2:1) • stain into honey and stir vigorously until combined
vent foaming)
2 parts Steen’s Cane Syrup • use within 2 weeks
• use within 2 weeks; barspoon per cocktail should suffice
1 part hot water You can certainly infuse chopped habaneros in Honey Syrup
This was/is a labor of love. I’m standing on the shoulders of both
(2:1) for a few days if you have the time. This is a rapid recipe I
stir to combine; use within 1 week Michael Capoferri and Kevin Kos, whose vegan foaming agents
developed in case you’ve got shit going on in your life.
were inspirations for this recipe. Methylcellulose provides the
Diluted Golden Syrup (1:1) foam, xanthan stablilizes, and gum arabic kicks up the mouthfeel. If 450 g of honey is not available, use what you have. The ratio of
2 parts Lyle’s Golden Syrup I originally created it for a vegan amaretto sour (the cocktail honey to water is 2 parts honey to 1 part hot water (by weight).
1 part hot water writer for Eater San Diego is vegan—not my first rodeo).
Hay Rye
stir to combine; use within 1 week Fresno Chile Tequila 1 L rye whiskey
1 L blanco tequila 50 g organic hay
Elderflower-Absinthe Cherries 1 fresno chile, destemmed
400 g jar Luxardo cocktail cherries infuse in glass jar or Cambro for 48 hours; strain through coffee
240 ml elderflower liqueur pulse in blender just until chile is broken into small bits (don’t com- filter and return to bottle
pletely liquify); strain through coffee filter, return to bottle; store
15 ml absinthe
out of direct sunlight (do your best) Honey Syrup (2:1)
drain and rinse cherries (reserve syrup for another purpose); return 2 parts honey
This is a quick infusion method (first used when we ran out
to jar and add remaining ingredients; infuse for 48 hours before use; 1 part hot water
of chile tequila during a busy service; necessity is the mother
store at room temperature
of invention). The flavors wont be as complex, but the color is stir until completely incorporated; use within 1 week
amazing. Fresno chiles will give you a beautiful pink; jalapeños
Fake Lime a neon green. The color will fade quickly (especially if exposed
1 L water Isomalt Lollipop
to sunlight), but the flavor should be unaffected for at least a
3 g kosher salt couple weeks. 200 g isomalt
29 g citric acid powder lollipop sticks
19 g malic acid powder Grapefruit-Sage Syrup assorted garnish
.65 g tartaric acid powder 50 g rinsed fresh sage • heat isomalt in small saucepan to 170 °C
1.95 g phosphoric acid (HANDLE CAREFULLY and add peel of 1 grapefruit • hold at temperature for 2 minutes
last) 1 L water • allow to cool to operating temperature of 135 °C
white cane sugar • hold at temperature while working
whisk vigorously until all powders have fully dissolved • using a metal spoon, drop melted isomalt onto silpat (no more
• simmer everything but sugar for 20 minutes than 3 lollipops at a time)
Five Spice Plum Syrup • strain and weigh resultant liquid • immediately insert sticks
1 cinnamon stick • while still hot, add equal weight of sugar • you now have approx 60 seconds to decorate before isomalt
3 whole cloves • stir until sugar completely dissolved sets
• use within 2 weeks • CAUTION: hot isomalt can burn (you may also need to hold
2 g fennel seed
5 buds of Sichuan peppercorn your spoon with a napkin or gloved hand)
Green Tea Jameson • fresh flowers must be completely pressed against isomalt to
1 star anise pod, crushed
1 L Jameson keep from browning
1 g fresh grated nutmeg
3 g loose leaf green tea
500 ml water Truth be told, this recipe was developed for style more than
3 black plums, pitted infuse overnight; strain and return to bottle function; a 100% isomalt lollipop is pretty hard and doesn’t
500 g white cane sugar really melt in the mouth. If this kind of thing intrigues you, I
Grenadine recommend incorporating a portion of granulated sugar in place
• toast all spices, except nutmeg, in dry saucepan over medium
400 g pomegranate juice of some of the isomalt to soften it up. Let me know if you nail it.
heat until fragrant (approximately 3 minutes)
• add water, plums, and nutmeg and boil until plums are almost 100 g pomegranate molasses
completely disintegrated, occasionally smashing with a spoon 500 g white cane sugar Jalapeño Tequila
(approximately 30 minutes) 5 drops orange flower water 1 L blanco tequila
• fine strain and add hot water to bring back to 500 ml pinch of salt 2 jalapeños, sliced
• add sugar and whisk vigorously until completely dissolved infuse in glass jar or Cambro for 24 hours; strain and return to
• use within 1 week blend until sugar is completely dissolved; use within 2 weeks
bottle
This was created for a cocktail that never really got across the Ginger Syrup (1:1)
finish line. This syrup is a little involved, but one of the best Lavender Vodka
250 g fresh ginger juice
things I’ve ever made. Put it in/on everything. Look at me: 750 ml vodka
250 g sugar
everything. 1 tbsp. dried lavender flowers
blend until sugar is completely dissolved; use within 2 weeks
infuse in bottle for 1 week; strain through coffee filter and return to
rinsed bottle
Golden Raisin Scotch
750 ml blended scotch
Milk Simple/“Sugar Cum”
10 golden raisins, roughly chopped
1 part sweetened condensed milk
infuse overnight; strain and return to bottle 2 parts simple syrup (1:1)
stir until completely incorporated; use within 1 week

59
Mint Syrup Pickle Brine Purple Pepper Paint
handful rinsed fresh mint (including stems) 250 ml water 200 ml hot water
500 ml water 125 ml white vinegar 200 g white cane sugar
white cane sugar 15 g kosher salt 5 g purple sweet potato powder
• simmer mint in water for 15 minutes 5 g white cane sugar 15 g Ultra-Tex 3
• strain and weigh resultant liquid 2 garlic cloves (crushed) 3 black peppercorns
• while still hot, add equal weight of sugar 5 black peppercorns blend on high for approximately 2 minutes; strain through fine
• stir until sugar is completely dissolved
bring to a boil; pour over vegetables while still hot (remove tips of chinois; use within 2 weeks
• use within 1 week
cucumbers to prevent enzymatic action from making them mushy); We got the best, and most consistent, results with Ultra-Tex 3,
use within 3 weeks but can also be made with agar agar, xanthan, pectin, or even just
Molasses Syrup (2:1)
2 parts molasses Green beans, carrots, celery, cherry tomatoes, cauliflower, peas, corn syrup and pigment powder. Feel free to experiment. You
etc., etc., etc. Put that shit in a Bloody Mary, ya dope. want something that will adhere attractively to the inside of the
1 part hot water
glass, then dissolve slowly, subtly changing both color and flavor.
stir until completely incorporated; use within 1 week Pineapple Gomme
25 g gum arabic Raspberry Syrup
Nutmeg Syrup 25 ml hot water 6 oz package fresh raspberries
1 whole nutmeg seed 200 g white cane sugar 400 g white cane sugar
500 ml water 175 ml fresh pineapple juice 300 ml water
500 g white cane sugar
• combine gum arabic with hot water; stir with chopstick or blend until sugar is completely dissolved; strain through fine chi-
• coarsely chop nutmeg in small coffee grinder or spice grinder barspoon until a smooth paste is formed nois; use within 1 week
• simmer in water for 20 minutes • cover and allow to hydrate overnight
• strain through coffee filter • add sugar and juice; whisk vigorously or blend until sugar is Red Miso Syrup
• add additional hot water until resultant liquid is 500 ml completely dissolved 100 g red miso paste
• add sugar and whisk until completely dissolved • use within 1 week
• use within 2 weeks 500 ml very hot water
white cane sugar
Pineapple Peel Syrup
Oatmeal Stout Foam Peels of one whole pineapple combine miso and water and whisk vigorously until completely in-
1 can or bottle oatmeal stout (12 oz) 400 g white cane sugar corporated; quickly fine strain and weigh resultant liquid; add equal
weight sugar; whisk vigorously until sugar is completely dissolved;
add to 1 L iSi and charge with one N2O charger; store cold; use 120 ml water
use within 2 weeks
within 3 days
blend until sugar is completely dissolved; strain through fine chi-
nois; use within 1 week Rosemary Tequila
Oleo-Saccahrum
1 L blanco tequila
500 g white cane sugar Pink Peppercorn Gin 1 large sprig of rosemary
500 g lemon peel 1 L gin
add rosemary to bottle and infuse overnight; remove rosemary
macerate overnight; strain; use within 2 weeks 10 g pink peppercorns (whole)
add pink peppercorns to bottle and infuse for 1 week; strain Saffron Gin
Oleo-Saccharum Syrup through coffee filter and return to rinsed bottle .5 g saffron threads
500 g white cane sugar
1 L gin
500 g lemon peel Pruno (Prison Wine) ~for educational use only
500 ml hot water 10 peeled oranges blend for 1 minute; strain through coffee filter; return to bottle
macerate sugar and lemon peels overnight (or at least muddle until 2 fruit cocktail cups (4 oz each)
500 ml water Salt Air
sugar is like wet sand); add hot water and stir vigorously until all
sugar is dissolved; strain; use within 2 weeks 50 sugar cubes 75 ml pimento dram
4 packets ketchup 75 ml bianco vermouth
Orange Piloncillo Syrup 100 ml lime juice
• add oranges and fruit cocktail (syrup included) to 1 gallon zip
1 piloncillo cone or 227 g demerara sugar 200 ml water
top bag; mash thoroughly
300 ml water • add water and seal
7 ml 10% saline solution
peel of 1 orange • place in sink; heat with hot running water for 15 minutes 3 g Foam Magic
• simmer all ingredients until sugar cone is completely dissolved • wrap in dry towel to preserve heat; stash for 48 hours whisk vigorously until Foam Magic is dissolved; use within 1 week
• remove orange peels • add sugar cubes and ketchup
• seal and heat for 30 minutes under hot running water Specified garnish for The Guy From That One Movie, but would
• add water until weight of syrup is 500 g (at which point it is be a welcome addition to any Margarita riff. Aerate with an
50 °Brix—exactly as sweet as simple syrup) • stash for 72 hours, heating for 15 minutes daily; release gas
from bag as necessary and reseal aquarium bubbler to recreate the original, though you can get
• strain and use within 2 weeks similar results with a cheap milk frother. Alternatively, pour into
• poke small holes in corner of bag to strain finished pruno
(discard solids) a whipped cream charger for a tight creamy foam, or simply add
Orgeat (any nut) 7 ml to your cocktail before shaking as vegan frother.
• it’s done; now flush it
300 ml nut milk (commercial or homemade)
300 g white cane sugar FOR EDUCATIONAL USE ONLY. I cannot stress this enough. Salted Watermelon Syrup
2 dashes rose water (optional) Botulism is a real concern here, and I promise you, this is not the 250 ml watermelon juice
15 ml vodka (optional; will extend shelf life) last thing you want to taste before clocking out. I only present it
250 g white cane sugar
here to show the lengths desperate folks will go to for a salve most
blend until completely dissolved; use within 2-4 weeks of us take for granted. I assume no responsibility for the stupidity
2 g kosher salt
of those who fail to heed my warnings. blend until sugar is completely dissolved; use within 1 week
Peanut Bourbon
This recipe is adapted from a poem written by death row inmate
1 L bourbon Jarvis Masters. I did not publish it here because 1.) I didn't have Scallion Gin
50 g peanuts permission. 2.) It is heartbreaking 750 ml gin
infuse for 1 week; strain through coffee filter; return to rinsed bottle 3 scallion tops (green parts only)
Pumpkin Spice Syrup infuse in glass jar or Cambro overnight; remove scallions; return to
Dealer’s choice on roasted/salted/shelled or not. I’ve had good
15 oz can pumpkin bottle
experiences with all varieties. Reserve infused nuts for pancake/
waffle/muffin batter. 900 ml water
250 g white cane sugar Simple Syrup (1:1)
This infusion may create a layer of peanut oil that floats on 10 g pumpkin pie spice 1 part water
top of the whiskey. If you appreciate the added silkiness on the
palate, simply shake the bottle before using. Otherwise, freeze blend on high for approximately 5 minutes (until steaming); use 1 part white cane sugar
the strained infusion overnight (do this in a plastic container), within 1 week blend until sugar is completely dissolved; use within 1 month
then strain again to remove the solidified oil. For more on this Yeah, I could’ve roasted a whole pumpkin and toasted whole
process, return to Chapter VII. spices, but I that’s not what anyone wants here. We want slutty.

60
Smoked Artichoke Rye Spiced Rum Tamarind Soda Syrup
1 L rye whiskey (preferably bonded) 1 L aged rum 450 g tamarind concentrate
2 artichoke hearts 50 g coconut flakes, lightly toasted in dry skillet (don’t burn) 8 g kosher salt
smoke artichokes over aromatic wood (juniper is nice); char until
1 cinnamon stick 2 oz white vinegar
50% black; cut in half and infuse in glass jar or Cambro for 48 5 g sliced ginger 12 g citric acid
hours; strain through coffee filter; return to bottle 2 allspice berries, crushed 300 g white cane sugar
½ vanilla bean 200 ml water
Sorghum Syrup (2:1) 3 whole cloves blend on high for one minute; use within 2 weeks
2 parts sorghum 2 green cardamom pods, crushed
1 part hot water 1 star anise pod, crushed Thai Tea Syrup
Big pinch fresh ground nutmeg 600 ml boiling water
stir until completely incorporated; use within 2 weeks
1 orange twist 10 g Thai tea mix (flavored tea leaves)
Spiced Cranberry Black Tea Syrup infuse in glass jar or Cambro for 1 week; strain; return to bottle white cane sugar
500 ml cranberry juice This is not rocket science. Make it as simple or as complicated as • combine water and tea; allow to steep for 5 minutes
1 cinnamon stick you like and feel free to experiment. • fine strain and weigh resultant liquid
3 whole cloves • combine with equal weight of sugar and stir vigorously until
2 black tea bags Strawberry Purée (for strawberry horchata) sugar is completely dissolved
hot water • use within 2 weeks
1 lb strawberries (tops removed)
500 g white cane sugar 180 ml agave nectar
Vanilla Gin/Genever
• simmer cranberry juice, cinnamon, and cloves for 10 minutes 15 ml lime juice
1 L gin or genever
• remove from heat and add black tea; steep for 3 minutes pinch of salt
• strain
1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise
blend until smooth; use within 1 week
• add hot water to return resultant liquid to 500 ml add vanilla bean to bottle; allow to infuse for 1 week; strain through
• add sugar; whisk vigorously until sugar is completely dissolved coffee filter; return to rinsed bottle
• use within 1 week Strawberry-Top Mezcal
1 L mezcal reserve vanilla bean for vanilla syrup or vanilla sugar
Spiced Hibiscus Syrup tops from 1 lb strawberries
Whipped Angostura Butter
1 L water infuse in glass jar or Cambro for 48 hours; strain and return to
1 lb unsalted butter (softened at room temperature)
10 g dried hibiscus bottle
15 g kosher salt
1 star anise pods
60 ml whole milk
1 cinnamon sticks Super Apple
15 ml Angostura bitters
2 whole cloves 355 ml (1 container) apple juice concentrate
hot water 320 g white cane sugar add all ingredients to stand mixer fitted with whisk attachment;
1 kg white cane sugar whisk for approximately 3 minutes (until light and fluffy); use
blend until sugar is completely dissolved; use within 1 week within 1 week
• boil all ingredients, except sugar, for 30 minutes
• strain
• add hot water to return to 1 L
• add sugar; whisk vigorously until sugar is completely dissolved
• use within 2 weeks

Emergency Punch
How an old Caribbean rhyme might save your entire butt.

Let's say you’re having a dinner party, and you’ve spent too much time making homemade rolls, and not enough time planning refreshments. Don’t stress—I assure
you, your guests will drink out of a dirty horse trough if there’s booze in it.† Take inventory of what’s in the house/apartment/barn, then (roughly) follow this historic
Bajan punch recipe:

One of sour (lemon or lime juice, diluted fruit vinegar, acid powder, orange or grapefruit juice treated with acid powder, etc., etc., or some combination)
Two of sweet (simple syrup, maple syrup, diluted honey/jam/apple butter, sweet liqueur)
Three of strong (full-proof booze, whatever you’ve got)
Four of weak (water, seltzer, fruit juice, tonic, ginger ale, wine, etc., etc.)

A dash of bitters (optional but nice) and a sprinkle of spice (optional but nice, I like fresh ground nutmeg), serve well chilled with plenty of ice.

Adjust to taste. You’ll notice that the sweet to sour ratio is a bit richer (double in fact) than my other recipes. Partially, this is due to the difference between modern
tastes and those of plantation owners in the 1700s (guess what crop they were growing). It’s also due to the fact that the dilution here (the weak) is comparatively high
(40% to be exact). In such instances, a bit of additional sweetness is not as cloying, as the flavors have a little more room to stretch their legs. In fact, the additional
richness is welcome, as the punch may taste thin without it. If you’re worried, start with 1.5 of both sour and sweet and adjust from there. It’s not rocket science.
This is literally a nursery rhyme for adults.

Why the additional dilution? Punch should be a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t break your guests before the rolls are served. You worked hard on those rolls.

† On more than one occasion, I’ve made and served punch in a hardware store bucket. My dear friend, Malina Bickford, once served a large-format cocktail from a (new) urinal. Relax.
It’s a party.

61
 Epilogue

This book was written and illustrated over the period of three years, during which time, I left my projects in Ohio and moved back to
California. The choice, although my own, was one of the most difficult I’ve ever made.

After a brief stint slinging mezcal in the desert, then helping my mentor get a new project back on the rails, I stopped working behind bars
entirely to focus on writing. With the exception of a little consulting on the side, this book has been my sole creative output for the past
several months. I write this now, having just finished. Naturally, I feel relief, but I’m also grieving. My child is going out into the world,
and the world can be cruel.

The preceding pages contain nearly all I know about cocktails, from a varied career that spans over a decade. It involved a significant amount
of research, some original, and much with the help of people much smarter than myself.

I learned that I (still) don't know a damn thing.

Making something good to drink is as rich and rewarding a topic as one could ever hope to find, both creatively and academically. Its history
is prodigious and ever evolving—as rapidly as we recover the past, we're innovating towards the future. I’ve only just skimmed the surface,
which is as devastating as it is inspiring. In my mind, this project has always been a trilogy. Maybe by the end of book three, I’ll have some
idea of what I’m talking about. Suppose I should get to it. Tomorrow. After a well-deserved drink.

That said, for all its complexity, it really is as simple as enjoying what you're sipping, and preferably doing so in the company of friends. So
raise a glass to my meager attempt at instruction, if you feel so compelled. If I’ve tricked you into thinking I have something worth knowing,
and you’d like to collaborate, reach out to discuss my inflated rates.

In the meantime, I’ll keep learning what I can, and writing it down in the most annoyingly idiosyncratic way of which I am capable.

Sorry about my penis.

Branden von Fugate

San Diego 2024
 Acknowledgments
is a very hard word to spell

To Beau du Bois, who gave me a chance in this industry,

even though I lied on my résumé. To Ginger Roddick,
Chris Dimmick, David Kittredge, and Jeremie Kittredge
of The Idea Collective, who allowed me to be a part of
their dream, and gave me the latitude to be a weirdo.
Helping you build some of the best bar programs in
the country—in “nowhereland” of all places—will
forever include some of my fondest memories and
proudest achievements. To Chef Jorge Guzmán, who
showed me what professionalism looks like, both on
and off the clock; I hope we get to collaborate again
soon. To Lauren Gay, who put up with me for over a
year while we traveled the world to learn more about
booze, and who lent her palate to around a third of
the signature recipes in this book. To Chloe Beaman,
for making me proud; I expect to be sending you a
résumé any day now. To Derek Cram, for making me
smarter with every conversation. To David Wondrich,
Simon Difford, the late Gaz Regan, Ted Haigh, Wayne
Curtis, Amanda Schuster, Darcy O’Neil, Dave Arnold,
Jeffrey Morgenthaler, Jim Meehan, Amy Stewart, Jason
Wilson, Iain Gately, David Shields, Alex Day, Nick
Fauchild, David Kaplan, Brad Thomas Parsons, Camper
English, Jeff Berry, Anistatia Miller, Jared Brown,
Pascal Tréguer, Gary Gillman, Michael Weisenberg,
the EUVS digital collection of vintage cocktail books,
the University Library at Virginia Tech, and the Irvin
Department of Rare Books and Special Collections at
the University of South Carolina (to name just a few),
for providing research resources that made so much of
this book possible. To Jeff Baker, Jean Michel Alperin,
Eric Alperin, and Tyler Brodd for providing a soft place
to land when I desperately needed to just get behind
a bar again (I also did most of my best writing in the
desert). To my proofreader, Genevieve Zander, for
making this thing intelligible (any remaining mistakes
are my own and where I ignored her because I thought
something looked cute). To Madison Jaimes, for being
the best damn assistant money can buy; if this book is
successful, maybe you’ll see a little of it. To Broomhilda,
who literally never left my side during the writing of
this book (she’s a dog, by the way). To Sabrina Cox, for
being my friend.

To the bartenders who bring me back to life at the end

of a long day (and sometimes halfway through it), and
who humored every experiment and half-baked notion
while I held a stopwatch and pen. In cocktail palaces
and dives, in natty restaurants and pool halls, in times
happy and not so much, you are therapists and chemists
and the good kind of priest. You are a friend in every
city and every small town. You are, more than what’s in
the glass, what keeps me coming back, and I am proud
to count myself among you.

To everyone who reads this book, even if you stole it

(especially if you stole it).

Fucking thanks.
 $1 of every physical book sold will be donated to organizations that provide free support
for the treatment, recovery and prevention of substance use disorder.

For a list of sponsored organizations visit:

ThisIsACocktailBook.com

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