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Miniscript Training Handout

The document explains the concept of miniscripts, which are quick emotional patterns that can lead to either negative or positive feelings. It outlines the Not-OK Miniscript, characterized by drivers, stoppers, vengeful child behaviors, and negative payoffs, and contrasts it with the OK Miniscript that promotes self-acceptance and positive emotions. Additionally, it provides guidance on shifting from negative to positive patterns and emphasizes the importance of understanding these patterns in relationships.

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Jeremy Hensley
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33 views3 pages

Miniscript Training Handout

The document explains the concept of miniscripts, which are quick emotional patterns that can lead to either negative or positive feelings. It outlines the Not-OK Miniscript, characterized by drivers, stoppers, vengeful child behaviors, and negative payoffs, and contrasts it with the OK Miniscript that promotes self-acceptance and positive emotions. Additionally, it provides guidance on shifting from negative to positive patterns and emphasizes the importance of understanding these patterns in relationships.

Uploaded by

Jeremy Hensley
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Training Handout: Understanding the

Miniscript
Based on Taibi Kahler & Hedges Capers’ model
Simplified for self-awareness & positive change

What Is a Miniscript?
A miniscript is a quick emotional pattern—like a habit—that you repeat in seconds or
minutes.
It can lead to either:
- Not-OK feelings (like guilt, anger, shame), or
- OK feelings (like confidence, peace, joy).

The Not-OK Miniscript (Bad Feeling Pattern)


This is a pattern that keeps us stuck in stress, self-blame, or bad moods.

It has 4 steps:

1. Driver: An inner pressure like: "Be perfect", "Try hard", "Hurry up", "Please others",
"Be strong"

2. Stopper: A harmful belief like: "You’re not good enough", "Don’t show emotion",
"You’re stupid"

3. Vengeful Child: Acting out due to inner pain, e.g. passive-aggressive behavior,
sarcasm, delay

4. Payoff: The final emotion — feeling unloved, alone, ashamed, or worthless

Example:
"I must get everything perfect!" (Driver) → “If I fail, I’m worthless” (Stopper) →
Procrastinates (Vengeful Child) → Feels like a failure (Payoff)

The OK Miniscript (Good Feeling Pattern)


This is the healthy path to feeling confident, connected, and in control.

It also has 4 steps:

1. Allower: A kind message like: "It’s okay to make mistakes", "You are enough"

2. Goer: Encouragement like: "You can do this", "Go ahead"


3. Free Child: Joyful, creative, free behavior

4. Wower: Good feelings like pride, peace, or happiness

Example:
"It’s okay not to be perfect" (Allower) → "I’ll try something new" (Goer) → Tries with joy
(Free Child) → Feels proud (Wower)

How to Shift from Not-OK to OK


Not-OK Voice OK Voice

I must be perfect It’s okay to be human.

I have to try harder I can just do it calmly.

I need to make them happy I matter too.

I should be strong It’s okay to feel and express emotions.

Miniscripts in Relationships
We often attract people with matching unhealthy patterns. Example:
- One person always tries to be perfect.
- The other tries to please.
- Both end up feeling drained.
When both learn their patterns, the cycle can be broken.

Practice Activity
✅ Write your most common Driver (e.g. "Be perfect")
✅ What Stopper does it connect with? (e.g. "Don’t make mistakes")
✅ How do you act out when upset? (Vengeful Child)
✅ What feeling do you often end with? (Payoff)

Then write:
✨ One Allower you want to use instead
✨ What’s your new Goer statement?
✨ What does your Free Child look like?
✨ What’s your new Wower feeling?

Summary Table: The Two Miniscripts


Step Not-OK Miniscript OK Miniscript

1 Driver (“Be perfect!”) Allower (“It’s okay to fail”)


2 Stopper (“Don’t show Goer (“You can do this”)
feeling”)

3 Vengeful Child Free Child

4 Bad Feeling (Guilt, shame) Good Feeling (Pride,


peace)

“🌟 You can’t change the past, but you can change the story you live by.”

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