7.1.

Interpersonal Attraction and Close Relationships

Interpersonal attraction is traditionally defined in social psychology as a positive attitude or

Human beings are social animals. Forming and maintaining intimate and long term relationships
with others is a very crucial aspect of our social lives. Interpersonal attraction plays a key role in
relationship formation. A very pertinent question is “How do we get attracted to others and how
do we select mates?” There are many factors which determine interpersonal attraction. These can
be divided into internal and external determinants and factors based on interaction with others.

Determinants of attraction

Internal determinants of attraction

1. The need to affiliate: According to many researchers, the tendency to affiliate has a
neurobiological basis. The need to affiliate with others is one of the main concerns of humans
and is crucial to psychological well being. This also has an evolutionary advantage since
interaction and cooperation with others helps in leading a better life and secure life. The need of
forming and maintaining a least quantity of interpersonal relationships among human beings is
innately present.

Individual differences in the need to affiliate: There are individual differences in the need to
affiliate. Generally individuals tend to seek an optimal amount of social contact. When this need
for affiliation is not fulfilled, an individual feels hurt, sad and angry because he feels that he does
not belong. However, there are some people who show a dismissing avoidant attachment style in
which they tend to avoid close relationships.

Influence of the situation on the need to affiliate: Situational factors can also affect the need for
affiliation. It is generally observed that after accidents or natural disasters, people come together
to help and comfort each other. This is because affiliation provides an opportunity to
communicate, compare oneself to other people and make a decision. All this gives cognitive and
emotional clarity to the individual.

Culture, gender, & affiliation: The need for affiliation is also shaped by cultural variables.
Research has shown that people living in individualistic cultures have a greater affiliation need
as they have to develop relationships on their own. They must also learn to establish
relationships in various social settings. Even though the relationships may be numerous in these
cultures they may not be intimate.

2. Role of affect in attraction: Positive evaluations a person makes are lead by positive affect
while negative evaluation a person makes are lead by negative affect. We tend to like people
who make us feel good and dislike those who make us feel bad. Emotions also affect attraction
indirectly. This is known as the associated effect of emotions. This happens when another person
is simply present at the same time that when a person’s emotional state is aroused by someone or
something. We evaluate that person positively when we are in a good mood and negatively when
in a bad mood. Examples of this phenomenon can 2be found in experiments on subliminal
perception of pleasant versus unpleasant pictures.

External determinants of attraction

1. Proximity: It is generally said that close proximity fosters liking. Two people are likely to be
acquainted if there is physical proximity between them.

2. Physical attractiveness: Physical attractiveness is a very powerful factor which determines our
liking for others. It also influences interpersonal evaluations and mate selection. Physical
attractiveness is linked to positive traits is not always the case. In some cases, physical
attractiveness is also linked with negative assumptions for eg. Beautiful women are perceived as
materialistic. Physical attractiveness is perhaps the most important predictor of interpersonal
attraction.

3. Similarity: Similarity plays a very important role in interpersonal attraction. There is a famous
saying that states “birds of same feather flock together”. This finding was also confirmed in
many studies. There is 2another saying that opposites attract. But there is strong evidence that
similarity and not complementarily is the basis of attraction. It has been found that similar
attitudes predict subsequent liking between students.

4. Reciprocity: Reciprocity effect refers to the tendency where people tend to be attracted
towards others who tend to like them.

5. Familiarity: When people come across a novel situation, they try to assess the extent to which
it signals danger. This helps in ensuring survival and well being. The preference for familiar
others is hence adaptive.

Theories of Interpersonal Attraction

There are many theories to explain interpersonal attraction like social exchange theory, balance
or cognitive consistency theory, equity theory and evolutionary theory.

1. Social Exchange Theory: Social exchange theory states that people’s feeling about a particular
relationship is dependent on their evaluation of the cost and rewards of being in that particular
relationship, the perception of them being into a type of relationship they believe to be deserving
and their chances of them being in a better relationship with some other better person. The
relationship’s outcome is found through subtracting the costs from the rewards. The level of
satisfaction obtained through the outcome is dependent on individual’s comparison level and the
likeliness of the individual to stay in an unsatisfactory relationship is detrimental by the level of
comparison for alternatives. The theory is mostly supported by the research evidence.

2. Equity Theory: This theory argues that happiest are the people when they are into relationships
where the rewards, costs and the contributions that both the parties make to the relationship are
roughly equal. According to equity theory, both under and over benefited partners might be
motivated to restore equity. Though research finds that this is truer for the one’s under benefited.

3. Evolutionary theory: The evolutionary theory states that attraction to the opposite sex occurs
when someone has physical features which indicate that he or she is very fertile. This happens
since it increases the chance of one’s genes being passed down to the next generation. This
theory also suggests that fertility in a mate is more important to men than to women.