ENGLISH

COMPOSITION I:
RHETORICAL
METHODS–BASED

Lumen Learning
Lumen
Book: English Composition I: Rhetorical
Methods–Based (Lumen)
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Licensing

1: An Overview of the Writing Process

1.1: Introduction to Writing
1.2: Your Role as a Learner
1.3: What is an Essay?
1.4: Reading to Write
1.5: Defining the Writing Process
1.6: Videos- Prewriting Techniques
1.7: Audience
1.8: Thesis Statements
1.9: Organizing an Essay
1.10: Creating Paragraphs
1.11: Paragraphs
1.12: Conclusions
1.13: Revising
1.14: Editing and Proofreading
1.15: Matters of Grammar, Mechanics, and Style
1.16: Peer Review Checklist
1.17: Comparative Chart of Writing Strategies

2: Using Sources
2.1: Evidence
2.2: Quoting, Paraphrasing, and Avoiding Plagiarism
2.3: How to Write a Summary
2.4: How to Write a Summary by Paraphrasing Source Material
2.5: How to Write an Annotation
2.6: MLA Format
2.7: Formatting the Works Cited Page (MLA)
2.8: Citing Paraphrases and Summaries (APA)
2.9: APA Citation Style, 6th edition- General Style Guidelines

3: Definition Essay
3.1: Definitional Argument Essay
3.2: How to Write a Definition Essay
3.3: Critical Thinking
3.4: Video- Thesis Explained
3.5: Effective Thesis Statements
3.6: Student Sample- Definition Essay

4: Narrative Essay
4.1: Introduction to Narrative Essay
4.2: Student Sample- Narrative Essay
4.3: “Shooting an Elephant” by George Orwell
4.4: “Sixty-nine Cents” by Gary Shteyngart
4.5: Video- The Danger of a Single Story

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 4.6: Writing for Success- Narration
4.7: Student Sample- Narrative Essay

5: Illustration/Example Essay
5.1: Introduction to Illustration/Example Essay
5.2: “She’s Your Basic L.O.L. in N.A.D” by Perri Klass
5.3: “April and Paris” by David Sedaris
5.4: Writing for Success- Illustration/Example
5.5: Student Sample- Illustration/Example Essay

6: Compare/Contrast Essay
6.1: Introduction to Compare/Contrast Essay
6.2: “Disability” by Nancy Mairs
6.3: “Friending, Ancient or Otherwise” by Alex Wright
6.4: “A South African Storm” by Allison Howard
6.5: Writing for Success- Compare/Contrast
6.6: Student Sample- Compare/Contrast Essay

7: Cause-and-Effect Essay
7.1: Introduction to Cause-and-Effect Essay
7.2: “Cultural Baggage” by Barbara Ehrenreich
7.3: “Women in Science” by K.C. Cole
7.4: Writing for Success- Cause and Effect
7.5: Student Sample- Cause-and-Effect Essay

8: Argument Essay
8.1: Introduction to Argument Essay
8.2: Rogerian Argument
8.3: “The Case Against Torture,” by Alisa Soloman
8.4: Writing for Success- Argument
8.5: Student Sample- Argument Essay

9: Grammar and Mechanics Mini-lessons

9.1: Grammar and Mechanics Mini-Lessons
9.2: Subjects and Verbs, Irregular Verbs, Subject Verb Agreement
9.3: Sentence Types
9.4: Fragments I
9.5: Run-ons and Comma Splices I
9.6: Comma Usage
9.7: Parallelism
9.8: The Apostrophe
9.9: Capital Letters
9.10: Grammar Practice- Interactive Quizzes
9.11: De Copia- Demonstration of the Variety of Language
9.12: Style Exercise- Voice

Index

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Glossary
Detailed Licensing

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Licensing
A detailed breakdown of this resource's licensing can be found in Back Matter/Detailed Licensing.

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 CHAPTER OVERVIEW

1: An Overview of the Writing Process

 Learning Objectives
Identify and share attitudes about writing
Demonstrate the stages of the writing process
Communicate perceived writing strengths and weaknesses as well as writing goals for the course

1.1: Introduction to Writing

1.2: Your Role as a Learner
1.3: What is an Essay?
1.4: Reading to Write
1.5: Defining the Writing Process
1.6: Videos- Prewriting Techniques
1.7: Audience
1.8: Thesis Statements
1.9: Organizing an Essay
1.10: Creating Paragraphs
1.11: Paragraphs
1.12: Conclusions
1.13: Revising
1.14: Editing and Proofreading
1.15: Matters of Grammar, Mechanics, and Style
1.16: Peer Review Checklist
1.17: Comparative Chart of Writing Strategies

This page titled 1: An Overview of the Writing Process is shared under a CC BY 4.0 license and was authored, remixed, and/or curated by Lumen
Learning via source content that was edited to the style and standards of the LibreTexts platform; a detailed edit history is available upon request.

1
1.1: Introduction to Writing
 Learning Objectives
Understand the expectations for reading and writing assignments in college courses.
Understand and apply general strategies to complete college-level reading assignments efficiently and effectively.
Recognize specific types of writing assignments frequently included in college courses.
Understand and apply general strategies for managing college-level writing assignments.
Determine specific reading and writing strategies that work best for you individually.

As you begin this section, you may be wondering why you need an introduction. After all, you have been writing and reading since
elementary school. You completed numerous assessments of your reading and writing skills in high school and as part of your
application process for college. You may write on the job, too. Why is a college writing course even necessary?
When you are eager to get started on the coursework in your major that will prepare you for your career, getting excited about an
introductory college writing course can be difficult. However, regardless of your field of study, honing your writing skills—and
your reading and critical-thinking skills—gives you a more solid academic foundation.
In college, academic expectations change from what you may have experienced in high school. The quantity of work you are
expected to do is increased. When instructors expect you to read pages upon pages or study hours and hours for one particular
course, managing your work load can be challenging. This chapter includes strategies for studying efficiently and managing your
time.
The quality of the work you do also changes. It is not enough to understand course material and summarize it on an exam. You will
also be expected to seriously engage with new ideas by reflecting on them, analyzing them, critiquing them, making connections,
drawing conclusions, or finding new ways of thinking about a given subject. Educationally, you are moving into deeper waters. A
good introductory writing course will help you swim.
Table 1 summarizes some of the other major differences between high school and college assignments.
Table 1 - High School versus College Assignments
High School College

Reading assignments are moderately long. Teachers may set aside some Some reading assignments may be very long. You will be expected to
class time for reading and reviewing the material in depth. come to class with a basic understanding of the material.

Teachers often provide study guides and other aids to help you prepare
Reviewing for exams is primarily your responsibility.
for exams.

Your grade is determined by your performance on a wide variety of

Your grade may depend on just a few major assessments. Most
assessments, including minor and major assignments. Not all
assessments are writing based.
assessments are writing based.

Writing assignments include personal writing and creative writing in Outside of creative writing courses, most writing assignments are
addition to expository writing. expository.

The structure and format of writing assignments is generally stable over Depending on the course, you may be asked to master new forms of
a four-year period. writing and follow standards within a particular professional field.

Teachers often go out of their way to identify and try to help students Although teachers want their students to succeed, they may not always
who are performing poorly on exams, missing classes, not turning in realize when students are struggling. They also expect you to be
assignments, or just struggling with the course. Often teachers will give proactive and take steps to help yourself. “Second chances” are less
students many “second chances.” common.

This chapter covers the types of reading and writing assignments you will encounter as a college student. You will also learn a
variety of strategies for mastering these new challenges—and becoming a more confident student and writer.
Throughout this chapter, you will follow a first-year student named Crystal. After several years of working as a saleswoman in a
department store, Crystal has decided to pursue a degree in elementary education and become a teacher. She is continuing to work
part-time, and occasionally she finds it challenging to balance the demands of work, school, and caring for her four-year-old son.
As you read about Crystal, think about how you can use her experience to get the most out of your own college experience.

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  Exercise 1.1.1

Review Table 1 and think about how you have found your college experience to be different from high school so far. Respond
to the following questions:
1. In what ways do you think college will be more rewarding for you as a learner?
2. What aspects of college do you expect to find most challenging?
3. What changes do you think you might have to make in your life to ensure your success in college?

Reading Strategies
Your college courses will sharpen both your reading and your writing skills. Most of your writing assignments—from brief
response papers to in-depth research projects—will depend on your understanding of course reading assignments or related
readings you do on your own. And it is difficult, if not impossible, to write effectively about a text that you have not understood.
Even when you do understand the reading, it can be hard to write about it if you do not feel personally engaged with the ideas
discussed.
This section discusses strategies you can use to get the most out of your college reading assignments. These strategies fall into three
broad categories:
1. Planning strategies. To help you manage your reading assignments.
2. Comprehension strategies. To help you understand the material.
3. Active reading strategies. To take your understanding to a higher and deeper level.

Planning Your Reading

Have you ever stayed up all night cramming just before an exam? Or found yourself skimming a detailed memo from your boss
five minutes before a crucial meeting? The first step in handling college reading successfully is planning. This involves both
managing your time and setting a clear purpose for your reading.

Managing Your Reading Time

For now, focus on setting aside enough time for reading and breaking your assignments into manageable chunks. If you are
assigned a seventy-page chapter to read for next week’s class, try not to wait until the night before to get started. Give yourself at
least a few days and tackle one section at a time.
Your method for breaking up the assignment will depend on the type of reading. If the text is very dense and packed with
unfamiliar terms and concepts, you may need to read no more than five or ten pages in one sitting so that you can truly understand
and process the information. With more user-friendly texts, you will be able to handle longer sections—twenty to forty pages, for
instance. And if you have a highly engaging reading assignment, such as a novel you cannot put down, you may be able to read
lengthy passages in one sitting.
As the semester progresses, you will develop a better sense of how much time you need to allow for the reading assignments in
different subjects. It also makes sense to preview each assignment well in advance to assess its difficulty level and to determine
how much reading time to set aside.

 tip

College instructors often set aside reserve readings for a particular course. These consist of articles, book chapters, or other
texts that are not part of the primary course textbook. Copies of reserve readings are available through the university library; in
print; or, more often, online. When you are assigned a reserve reading, download it ahead of time (and let your instructor know
if you have trouble accessing it). Skim through it to get a rough idea of how much time you will need to read the assignment in
full.

Setting a Purpose
The other key component of planning is setting a purpose. Knowing what you want to get out of a reading assignment helps you
determine how to approach it and how much time to spend on it. It also helps you stay focused during those occasional moments

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when it is late, you are tired, and relaxing in front of the television sounds far more appealing than curling up with a stack of
journal articles.
Sometimes your purpose is simple. You might just need to understand the reading material well enough to discuss it intelligently in
class the next day. However, your purpose will often go beyond that. For instance, you might also read to compare two texts, to
formulate a personal response to a text, or to gather ideas for future research. Here are some questions to ask to help determine your
purpose:
How did my instructor frame the assignment? Often your instructors will tell you what they expect you to get out of the
reading:
Read Chapter 2 and come to class prepared to discuss current teaching practices in elementary math.
Read these two articles and compare Smith’s and Jones’s perspectives on the 2010 health care reform bill.
Read Chapter 5 and think about how you could apply these guidelines to running your own business.
How deeply do I need to understand the reading? If you are majoring in computer science and you are assigned to read
Chapter 1, “Introduction to Computer Science,” it is safe to assume the chapter presents fundamental concepts that you will be
expected to master. However, for some reading assignments, you may be expected to form a general understanding but not
necessarily master the content. Again, pay attention to how your instructor presents the assignment.
How does this assignment relate to other course readings or to concepts discussed in class? Your instructor may make
some of these connections explicitly, but if not, try to draw connections on your own. (Needless to say, it helps to take detailed
notes both when in class and when you read.)
How might I use this text again in the future? If you are assigned to read about a topic that has always interested you, your
reading assignment might help you develop ideas for a future research paper. Some reading assignments provide valuable tips
or summaries worth bookmarking for future reference. Think about what you can take from the reading that will stay with you.

Improving Your Comprehension

You have blocked out time for your reading assignments and set a purpose for reading. Now comes the challenge: making sure you
actually understand all the information you are expected to process. Some of your reading assignments will be fairly
straightforward. Others, however, will be longer or more complex, so you will need a plan for how to handle them.
For any expository writing—that is, nonfiction, informational writing—your first comprehension goal is to identify the main
points and relate any details to those main points. Because college-level texts can be challenging, you will also need to monitor
your reading comprehension. That is, you will need to stop periodically and assess how well you understand what you are reading.
Finally, you can improve comprehension by taking time to determine which strategies work best for you and putting those
strategies into practice.

Identifying the Main Points

In college, you will read a wide variety of materials, including the following:
Textbooks. These usually include summaries, glossaries, comprehension questions, and other study aids.
Nonfiction trade books. These are less likely to include the study features found in textbooks.
Popular magazine, newspaper, or web articles. These are usually written for a general audience.
Scholarly books and journal articles. These are written for an audience of specialists in a given field.
Regardless of what type of expository text you are assigned to read, your primary comprehension goal is to identify the main
point: the most important idea that the writer wants to communicate and often states early on. Finding the main point gives you a
framework to organize the details presented in the reading and relate the reading to concepts you learned in class or through other
reading assignments. After identifying the main point, you will find the supporting points, the details, facts, and explanations that
develop and clarify the main point.
Some texts make that task relatively easy. Textbooks, for instance, include the aforementioned features as well as headings and
subheadings intended to make it easier for students to identify core concepts. Graphic features, such as sidebars, diagrams, and
charts, help students understand complex information and distinguish between essential and inessential points. When you are
assigned to read from a textbook, be sure to use available comprehension aids to help you identify the main points.
Trade books and popular articles may not be written specifically for an educational purpose; nevertheless, they also include features
that can help you identify the main ideas. These features include the following:

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 Trade books. Many trade books include an introduction that presents the writer’s main ideas and purpose for writing. Reading
chapter titles (and any subtitles within the chapter) will help you get a broad sense of what is covered. It also helps to read the
beginning and ending paragraphs of a chapter closely. These paragraphs often sum up the main ideas presented.
Popular articles. Reading the headings and introductory paragraphs carefully is crucial. In magazine articles, these features
(along with the closing paragraphs) present the main concepts. Hard news articles in newspapers present the gist of the news
story in the lead paragraph, while subsequent paragraphs present increasingly general details.
At the far end of the reading difficulty scale are scholarly books and journal articles. Because these texts are written for a
specialized, highly educated audience, the authors presume their readers are already familiar with the topic. The language and
writing style is sophisticated and sometimes dense.
When you read scholarly books and journal articles, try to apply the same strategies discussed earlier. The introduction usually
presents the writer’s thesis, the idea or hypothesis the writer is trying to prove. Headings and subheadings can help you understand
how the writer has organized support for his or her thesis. Additionally, academic journal articles often include a summary at the
beginning, called an abstract, and electronic databases include summaries of articles, too.

Monitoring Your Comprehension

Finding the main idea and paying attention to text features as you read helps you figure out what you should know. Just as
important, however, is being able to figure out what you do not know and developing a strategy to deal with it.
Textbooks often include comprehension questions in the margins or at the end of a section or chapter. As you read, stop
occasionally to answer these questions on paper or in your head. Use them to identify sections you may need to reread, read more
carefully, or ask your instructor about later.
Even when a text does not have built-in comprehension features, you can actively monitor your own comprehension. Try these
strategies, adapting them as needed to suit different kinds of texts:
1. Summarize. At the end of each section, pause to summarize the main points in a few sentences. If you have trouble doing so,
revisit that section.
2. Ask and answer questions. When you begin reading a section, try to identify two to three questions you should be able to
answer after you finish it. Write down your questions and use them to test yourself on the reading. If you cannot answer a
question, try to determine why. Is the answer buried in that section of reading but just not coming across to you? Or do you
expect to find the answer in another part of the reading?
3. Do not read in a vacuum. Look for opportunities to discuss the reading with your classmates. Many instructors set up online
discussion forums or blogs specifically for that purpose. Participating in these discussions can help you determine whether your
understanding of the main points is the same as your peers’.
These discussions can also serve as a reality check. If everyone in the class struggled with the reading, it may be exceptionally
challenging. If it was a breeze for everyone but you, you may need to see your instructor for help.
As a working mother, Crystal found that the best time to get her reading done was in the evening, after she had put her four-year-
old to bed. However, she occasionally had trouble concentrating at the end of a long day. She found that by actively working to
summarize the reading and asking and answering questions, she focused better and retained more of what she read. She also found
that evenings were a good time to check the class discussion forums that a few of her instructors had created.

 Exercise 1.1.2
Choose any text that that you have been assigned to read for one of your college courses. In your notes, complete the following
tasks:
1. Summarize the main points of the text in two to three sentences.
2. Write down two to three questions about the text that you can bring up during class discussion.

 tip
Students are often reluctant to seek help. They feel like doing so marks them as slow, weak, or demanding. The truth is, every
learner occasionally struggles. If you are sincerely trying to keep up with the course reading but feel like you are in over your

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 head, seek out help. Speak up in class, schedule a meeting with your instructor, or visit your university learning center for
assistance.
Deal with the problem as early in the semester as you can. Instructors respect students who are proactive about their own
learning. Most instructors will work hard to help students who make the effort to help themselves.

Taking It to the Next Level: Active Reading

Now that you have acquainted (or reacquainted) yourself with useful planning and comprehension strategies, college reading
assignments may feel more manageable. You know what you need to do to get your reading done and make sure you grasp the
main points. However, the most successful students in college are not only competent readers but active, engaged readers.

Using the SQ3R Strategy

One strategy you can use to become a more active, engaged reader is the SQ3R strategy, a step-by-step process to follow before,
during, and after reading. You may already use some variation of it. In essence, the process works like this:
1. Survey the text in advance.
2. Form questions before you start reading.
3. Read the text.
4. Recite and/or record important points during and after reading.
5. Review and reflect on the text after you read.
Before you read, you survey, or preview, the text. As noted earlier, reading introductory paragraphs and headings can help you
begin to figure out the author’s main point and identify what important topics will be covered. However, surveying does not stop
there. Look over sidebars, photographs, and any other text or graphic features that catch your eye. Skim a few paragraphs. Preview
any boldfaced or italicized vocabulary terms. This will help you form a first impression of the material.
Next, start brainstorming questions about the text. What do you expect to learn from the reading? You may find that some questions
come to mind immediately based on your initial survey or based on previous readings and class discussions. If not, try using
headings and subheadings in the text to formulate questions. For instance, if one heading in your textbook reads “Medicare and
Medicaid,” you might ask yourself these questions:
When was Medicare and Medicaid legislation enacted? Why?
What are the major differences between these two programs?
Although some of your questions may be simple factual questions, try to come up with a few that are more open-ended. Asking in-
depth questions will help you stay more engaged as you read.
The next step is simple: read. As you read, notice whether your first impressions of the text were correct. Are the author’s main
points and overall approach about the same as what you predicted—or does the text contain a few surprises? Also, look for answers
to your earlier questions and begin forming new questions. Continue to revise your impressions and questions as you read.
While you are reading, pause occasionally to recite or record important points. It is best to do this at the end of each section or
when there is an obvious shift in the writer’s train of thought. Put the book aside for a moment and recite aloud the main points of
the section or any important answers you found there. You might also record ideas by jotting down a few brief notes in addition to,
or instead of, reciting aloud. Either way, the physical act of articulating information makes you more likely to remember it.
After you have completed the reading, take some time to review the material more thoroughly. If the textbook includes review
questions or your instructor has provided a study guide, use these tools to guide your review. You will want to record information
in a more detailed format than you used during reading, such as in an outline or a list.
As you review the material, reflect on what you learned. Did anything surprise you, upset you, or make you think? Did you find
yourself strongly agreeing or disagreeing with any points in the text? What topics would you like to explore further? Jot down your
reflections in your notes. (Instructors sometimes require students to write brief response papers or maintain a reading journal. Use
these assignments to help you reflect on what you read.)

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  Exercise 1.1.3

Choose another text that that you have been assigned to read for a class. Use the SQ3R process to complete the reading. (Keep
in mind that you may need to spread the reading over more than one session, especially if the text is long.)
Be sure to complete all the steps involved. Then, reflect on how helpful you found this process. On a scale of one to ten, how
useful did you find it? How does it compare with other study techniques you have used?

Using Other Active Reading Strategies

The SQ3R process encompasses a number of valuable active reading strategies: previewing a text, making predictions, asking and
answering questions, and summarizing. You can use the following additional strategies to further deepen your understanding of
what you read.
Connect what you read to what you already know. Look for ways the reading supports, extends, or challenges concepts you
have learned elsewhere.
Relate the reading to your own life. What statements, people, or situations relate to your personal experiences?
Visualize. For both fiction and nonfiction texts, try to picture what is described. Visualizing is especially helpful when you are
reading a narrative text, such as a novel or a historical account, or when you read expository text that describes a process, such
as how to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).
Pay attention to graphics as well as text. Photographs, diagrams, flow charts, tables, and other graphics can help make
abstract ideas more concrete and understandable.
Understand the text in context. Understanding context means thinking about who wrote the text, when and where it was
written, the author’s purpose for writing it, and what assumptions or agendas influenced the author’s ideas. For instance, two
writers might both address the subject of health care reform, but if one article is an opinion piece and one is a news story, the
context is different.
Plan to talk or write about what you read. Jot down a few questions or comments in your notebook so you can bring them up
in class. (This also gives you a source of topic ideas for papers and presentations later in the semester.) Discuss the reading on a
class discussion board or blog about it.
As Crystal began her first semester of elementary education courses, she occasionally felt lost in a sea of new terms and theories
about teaching and child development. She found that it helped to relate the reading to her personal observations of her son and
other kids she knew.

 WRITING AT WORK
Many college courses require students to participate in interactive online components, such as a discussion forum, a page on a
social networking site, or a class blog. These tools are a great way to reinforce learning. Do not be afraid to be the student who
starts the discussion.
Remember that when you interact with other students and teachers online, you need to project a mature, professional image.
You may be able to use an informal, conversational tone, but complaining about the work load, using off-color language, or
“flaming” other participants is inappropriate.
Active reading can benefit you in ways that go beyond just earning good grades. By practicing these strategies, you will find
yourself more interested in your courses and better able to relate your academic work to the rest of your life. Being an
interested, engaged student also helps you form lasting connections with your instructors and with other students that can be
personally and professionally valuable. In short, it helps you get the most out of your education.

Common Writing Assignments

College writing assignments serve a different purpose than the typical writing assignments you completed in high school. In high
school, teachers generally focus on teaching you to write in a variety of modes and formats, including personal writing, expository
writing, research papers, creative writing, and writing short answers and essays for exams. Over time, these assignments help you
build a foundation of writing skills.
In college, many instructors will expect you to already have that foundation.

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Your college composition courses will focus on writing for its own sake, helping you make the transition to college-level writing
assignments. However, in most other college courses, writing assignments serve a different purpose. In those courses, you may use
writing as one tool among many for learning how to think about a particular academic discipline.
Additionally, certain assignments teach you how to meet the expectations for professional writing in a given field. Depending on
the class, you might be asked to write a lab report, a case study, a literary analysis, a business plan, or an account of a personal
interview. You will need to learn and follow the standard conventions for those types of written products.
Finally, personal and creative writing assignments are less common in college than in high school. College courses emphasize
expository writing, writing that explains or informs. Often expository writing assignments will incorporate outside research, too.
Some classes will also require persuasive writing assignments in which you state and support your position on an issue. College
instructors will hold you to a higher standard when it comes to supporting your ideas with reasons and evidence.
Table 2 lists some of the most common types of college writing assignments. It includes minor, less formal assignments as well as
major ones. Which specific assignments you encounter will depend on the courses you take and the learning objectives developed
by your instructors.
Table 2 - Common Types of College Writing Assignments
Assignment Type Description Example

Expresses and explains your response to a For an environmental science course, students
reading assignment, a provocative quote, or a watch and write about President Obama’s June
Personal Response Paper
specific issue; may be very brief (sometimes a 15, 2010, speech about the BP oil spill in the
page or less) or more in-depth Gulf of Mexico.

For a psychology course, students write a one-

Restates the main points of a longer passage
Summary page summary of an article about a man
objectively and in your own words
suffering from short-term memory loss.
For a medical ethics course, students state and
States and defends your position on an issue
Position Paper support their position on using stem cell
(often a controversial issue)
research in medicine.
For a business administration course, a student
Presents a problem, explains its causes, and presents a plan for implementing an office
Problem-Solution Paper
proposes and explains a solution recycling program without increasing operating
costs.

States a thesis about a particular literary work

For a literature course, a student compares two
(or works) and develops the thesis with
Literary Analysis novels by the twentieth-century African
evidence from the work and, sometimes, from
American writer Richard Wright.
additional sources

For a course in media studies, a student reviews

Sums up available research findings on a the past twenty years of research on whether
Research Review or Survey
particular topic violence in television and movies is correlated
with violent behavior.
For an education course, a student writes a case
Investigates a particular person, group, or
study of a developmentally disabled child
Case Study or Case Analysis event in depth for the purpose of drawing a
whose academic performance improved
larger conclusion from the analysis
because of a behavioral-modification program.
For a psychology course, a group of students
Presents a laboratory experiment, including
presents the results of an experiment in which
Laboratory Report the hypothesis, methods of data collection,
they explored whether sleep deprivation
results, and conclusions
produced memory deficits in lab rats.
For an education course, a student maintains a
Records a student’s ideas and findings during
Research Journal journal throughout a semester-long research
the course of a long-term research project
project at a local elementary school.

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 Presents a thesis and supports it with original
research and/or other researchers’ findings on For examples of typical research projects, see
Research Paper
the topic; can take several different formats Chapter 12 “Writing a Research Paper”.
depending on the subject area

 WRITING AT WORK
Part of managing your education is communicating well with others at your university. For instance, you might need to e-mail
your instructor to request an office appointment or explain why you will need to miss a class. You might need to contact
administrators with questions about your tuition or financial aid. Later, you might ask instructors to write recommendations on
your behalf.
Treat these documents as professional communications. Address the recipient politely; state your question, problem, or request
clearly; and use a formal, respectful tone. Doing so helps you make a positive impression and get a quicker response.

 KEY TAKEAWAYS
College-level reading and writing assignments differ from high school assignments not only in quantity but also in quality.
Managing college reading assignments successfully requires you to plan and manage your time, set a purpose for reading,
practice effective comprehension strategies, and use active reading strategies to deepen your understanding of the text.
College writing assignments place greater emphasis on learning to think critically about a particular discipline and less
emphasis on personal and creative writing.

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1.2: Your Role as a Learner
 Learning Objectives
Use strategies for managing time effectively as a college student.
Understand and apply strategies for taking notes efficiently.
Determine the specific time-management, study, and note-taking strategies that work best for you individually.

By now, you have a general idea of what to expect from your college courses. You have probably received course syllabi, started on
your first few assignments, and begun applying the strategies you learned about in the previous section.
At the beginning of the semester, your work load is relatively light. This is the perfect time to brush up on your study skills and
establish good habits. When the demands on your time and energy become more intense, you will have a system in place for
handling them.
This section covers specific strategies for managing your time effectively. You will also learn about different note-taking systems
that you can use to organize and record information efficiently.
As you work through this section, remember that every student is different. The strategies presented here are tried and true
techniques that work well for many people. However, you may need to adapt them slightly to develop a system that works well for
you personally. If your friend swears by her smartphone, but you hate having to carry extra electronic gadgets around, then using a
smartphone will not be the best organizational strategy for you.
Read with an open mind, and consider what techniques have been effective (or ineffective) for you in the past. Which habits from
your high school years or your work life could help you succeed in college? Which habits might get in your way? What changes
might you need to make?

Understanding Yourself as a Learner

To succeed in college—or any situation where you must master new concepts and skills—it helps to know what makes you tick.
For decades, educational researchers and organizational psychologists have examined how people take in and assimilate new
information, how some people learn differently than others, and what conditions make students and workers most productive. Here
are just a few questions to think about:
What is your learning style? For the purposes of this chapter, learning style refers to the way you prefer to take in new
information, by seeing, by listening, or through some other channel. For more information, see the section on learning styles.
What times of day are you most productive? If your energy peaks early, you might benefit from blocking out early morning
time for studying or writing. If you are a night owl, set aside a few evenings a week for schoolwork.
How much clutter can you handle in your work space? Some people work fine at a messy desk and know exactly where to
find what they need in their stack of papers; however, most people benefit from maintaining a neat, organized space.
How well do you juggle potential distractions in your environment? If you can study at home without being tempted to turn
on the television, check your e-mail, fix yourself a snack, and so on, you may make home your work space. However, if you
need a less distracting environment to stay focused, you may be able to find one on your college’s campus or in your
community.
Does a little background noise help or hinder your productivity? Some people work better when listening to background
music or the low hum of conversation in a coffee shop. Others need total silence.
When you work with a partner or group, do you stay on task? A study partner or group can sometimes be invaluable.
However, working this way takes extra planning and effort, so be sure to use the time productively. If you find that group study
sessions turn into social occasions, you may study better on your own.
How do you manage stress? Accept that at certain points in the semester, you will feel stressed out. In your day-to-day routine,
make time for activities that help you reduce stress, such as exercising, spending time with friends, or just scheduling downtime
to relax.

Learning Styles
Most people have one channel that works best for them when it comes to taking in new information. Knowing yours can help you
develop strategies for studying, time management, and note taking that work especially well for you.

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To begin identifying your learning style, think about how you would go about the process of assembling a piece of furniture. Which
of these options sounds most like you?
1. You would carefully look over the diagrams in the assembly manual first so you could picture each step in the process.
2. You would silently read the directions through, step by step, and then look at the diagrams afterward.
3. You would read the directions aloud under your breath. Having someone explain the steps to you would also help.
4. You would start putting the pieces together and figure out the process through trial and error, consulting the directions as you
worked.
Now read the following explanations. Again, think about whether each description sounds like you.
If you chose (a), you may be a visual learner. You understand ideas best when they are presented in a visual format, such as a
flowchart, a diagram, or text with clear headings and many photos or illustrations.
If you chose (b), you may be a verbal learner. You understand ideas best through reading and writing about them and taking
detailed notes.
If you chose (c), you may be an auditory learner. You understand ideas best through listening. You learn well from spoken
lectures or books on tape.
If you chose (d), you may be a kinesthetic learner. You learn best through doing and prefer hands-on activities. In long
lectures, fidgeting may help you focus.
Your learning style does not completely define you as a student. Auditory learners can comprehend a flow chart, and kinesthetic
learners can sit still long enough to read a book. However, if you do have one dominant learning style, you can work with it to get
the most out of your classes and study time. Table 1 lists some tips for maximizing your learning style.
Table 1 - Learning Style Strategies
Learning Style Strategies

When possible, represent concepts visually—in charts, diagrams, or sketches.

Use a visual format for taking notes on reading assignments or lectures.
Visual Use different-colored highlighters or pens to color-code information as you read.
Use visual organizers, such as maps, flowcharts, and so forth, to help you plan writing assignments.
Use colored pens, highlighters, or the review feature of your word-processing program to revise and edit writing.

Use the instructional features in course texts—summaries, chapter review questions, glossaries, and so on—to
aid your studying.
Take notes on your reading assignments.
Rewrite or condense reading notes and lecture notes to study.
Verbal
Summarize important ideas in your own words.
Use informal writing techniques, such as brainstorming, freewriting, blogging, or posting on a class discussion
forum to generate ideas for writing assignments.
Reread and take notes on your writing to help you revise and edit.

Ask your instructor’s permission to tape-record lectures to supplement your notes.

Read parts of your textbook or notes aloud when you study.
If possible, obtain an audiobook version of important course texts. Make use of supplemental audio materials,
Auditory
such as CDs or DVDs.
Talk through your ideas with other students when studying or when preparing for a writing assignment.
Read your writing aloud to help you draft, revise, and edit.

When you read or study, use techniques that will keep your hands in motion, such as highlighting or taking notes.
Use tactile study aids, such as flash cards or study guides you design yourself.
Use self-stick notes to record ideas for writing. These notes can be physically reorganized easily to help you
Kinesthetic
determine how to shape your paper.
Use a physical activity, such as running or swimming, to help you break through writing blocks.
Take breaks during studying to stand, stretch, or move around.

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  tip

The material presented here about learning styles is just the tip of the iceberg. There are numerous other variations in how
people learn. Some people like to act on information right away while others reflect on it first. Some people excel at mastering
details and understanding concrete, tried and true ideas while others enjoy exploring abstract theories and innovative, even
impractical ideas. For more information about how you learn, visit your school’s academic resource center.

Time Management
In college you have increased freedom to structure your time as you please. With that freedom comes increased responsibility. High
school teachers often take it upon themselves to track down students who miss class or forget assignments. College instructors,
however, expect you to take full responsibility for managing yourself and getting your work done on time.

Getting Started: Short- and Long-Term Planning

At the beginning of the semester, establish a weekly routine for when you will study and write. A general guideline is that for every
hour spent in class, students should expect to spend another two to three hours on reading, writing, and studying for tests.
Therefore, if you are taking a biology course that meets three times a week for an hour at a time, you can expect to spend six to
nine hours per week on it outside of class. You will need to budget time for each class just like an employer schedules shifts at
work, and you must make that study time a priority.
That may sound like a lot when taking multiple classes, but if you plan your time carefully, it is manageable. A typical full-time
schedule of fifteen credit hours translates into thirty to forty-five hours per week spent on schoolwork outside of class. All in all, a
full-time student would spend about as much time on school each week as an employee spends on work. Balancing school and a
job can be more challenging, but still doable.
In addition to setting aside regular work periods, you will need to plan ahead to handle more intense demands, such as studying for
exams and writing major papers. At the beginning of the semester, go through your course syllabi and mark all major due dates and
exam dates on a calendar. Use a format that you check regularly, such as your smartphone or the calendar feature in your e-mail.

 tip

The two- to three-hour rule may sound intimidating. However, keep in mind that this is only a rule of thumb. Realistically,
some courses will be more challenging than others, and the demands will ebb and flow throughout the semester. You may have
trouble-free weeks and stressful weeks. When you schedule your classes, try to balance introductory-level classes with more
advanced classes so that your work load stays manageable.

Crystal knew that to balance a job, college classes, and a family, it was crucial for her to get organized. For the month of
September, she drew up a week-by-week calendar that listed not only her own class and work schedules but also the days her son
attended preschool and the days her husband had off from work. She and her husband discussed how to share their day-to-day
household responsibilities so she would be able to get her schoolwork done. Crystal also made a note to talk to her supervisor at
work about reducing her hours during finals week in December.

 Exercise 1.2.1

Now that you have learned some time-management basics, it is time to apply those skills. For this exercise, you will develop a
weekly schedule and a semester calendar.
1. Working with your class schedule, map out a week-long schedule of study time. Try to apply the “two- to three-hour” rule.
Be sure to include any other nonnegotiable responsibilities, such as a job or child care duties.
2. Use your course syllabi to record exam dates and due dates for major assignments in a calendar (paper or electronic). Use a
star, highlighting, or other special marking to set off any days or weeks that look especially demanding.

Staying Consistent: Time Management Dos and Don’ts

Setting up a schedule is easy. Sticking with it, however, may create challenges. A schedule that looked great on paper may prove to
be unrealistic. Sometimes, despite students’ best intentions, they end up procrastinating or pulling all-nighters to finish a paper or
study for an exam.

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Keep in mind, however, that your weekly schedule and semester calendar are time-management tools. Like any tools, their
effectiveness depends on the user: you. If you leave a tool sitting in the box unused (e.g., if you set up your schedule and then
forget about it), it will not help you complete the task. And if, for some reason, a particular tool or strategy is not getting the job
done, you need to figure out why and maybe try using something else.
With that in mind, read the list of time-management dos and don’ts. Keep this list handy as a reference you can use throughout the
semester to “troubleshoot” if you feel like your schoolwork is getting off track.
Dos
1. Set aside time to review your schedule or calendar regularly and update or adjust them as needed.
2. Be realistic when you schedule study time. Do not plan to write your paper on Friday night when everyone else is out
socializing. When Friday comes, you might end up abandoning your plans and hanging out with your friends instead.
3. Be honest with yourself about where your time goes. Do not fritter away your study time on distractions like e-mail and social
networking sites.
4. Accept that occasionally your work may get a little off track. No one is perfect.
5. Accept that sometimes you may not have time for all the fun things you would like to do.
6. Recognize times when you feel overextended. Sometimes you may just need to get through an especially demanding week.
However, if you feel exhausted and overworked all the time, you may need to scale back on some of your commitments.
7. Have a plan for handling high-stress periods, such as final exam week. Try to reduce your other commitments during those
periods—for instance, by scheduling time off from your job. Build in some time for relaxing activities, too.
Don’ts
1. Do not procrastinate on challenging assignments. Instead, break them into smaller, manageable tasks that can be accomplished
one at a time.
2. Do not fall into the trap of “all-or-nothing” thinking: “There is no way I can fit in a three-hour study session today, so I will just
wait until the weekend.” Extended periods of free time are hard to come by, so find ways to use small blocks of time
productively. For instance, if you have a free half hour between classes, use it to preview a chapter or brainstorm ideas for an
essay.
3. Do not fall into the trap of letting things slide and promising yourself, “I will do better next week.” When next week comes, the
accumulated undone tasks will seem even more intimidating, and you will find it harder to get them done.
4. Do not rely on caffeine and sugar to compensate for lack of sleep. These stimulants may temporarily perk you up, but your
brain functions best when you are rested.

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1.3: What is an Essay?
If you were asked to describe an essay in one word, what would that one word be?

Figure 1.3.1
Okay, well, in one word, an essay is an idea.
No idea; no essay.
But more than that, the best essays have original and insightful ideas.
Okay, so the first thing we need to begin an essay is an insightful idea that we wish to share with the reader.
But original and insightful ideas do not just pop up every day. Where does one find original and insightful ideas?
Let’s start here: an idea is an insight gained from either a) our personal experiences, or b) in scholarship, from synthesizing the
ideas of others to create a new idea.
In this class (except for the last essay) we write personal essays; therefore, we will focus mostly on a) personal experience as a
source for our ideas.
Life teaches us lessons. We learn from our life experiences. This is how we grow as human beings. So before you start on your
essays, reflect on your life experiences by employing one or more of the brainstorming strategies described in this course. Your
brainstorming and prewriting assignments are important assignments because remember: no idea; no essay. Brainstorming can help
you discover an idea for your essay. So, ask yourself: What lessons have I learned? What insights have I gained that I can write
about and share with my reader? Your reader can learn from you.

Why do we write?
We write to improve our world; it’s that simple. We write personal essays to address the most problematic and fundamental
question of all: What does it mean to be a human being? By sharing the insights and lessons we have learned from our life
experiences we can add to our community’s collective wisdom.
We respect the writings of experts. And, guess what; you are an expert! You are the best expert of all on one subject—your own life
experiences. So when we write personal essays, we research our own life experiences and describe those experiences with rich and
compelling language to convince our reader that our idea is valid.
For example:
For your Narrative essay: do more than simply relate a series of events. Let the events make a point about the central idea you are
trying to teach us.
For your Example essay: do more than tell us about your experience. Show us your experience. Describe your examples in
descriptive details so that your reader actually experiences for themselves the central idea you wish to teach them.
For the Comparison Contrast essay: do more than simply tell us about the differences and similarities of two things. Evaluate those
differences and similarities and draw an idea about them, so that you can offer your reader some basic insight into the comparison.

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 Figure 1.3.2
Okay, one last comment. Often students say to me: “I am so young; I do not have any meaningful insights in to life.” Okay, well,
you may not be able to solve the pressing issues of the day, but think of it this way. What if a younger brother or sister came to you
and in an anxious voice said; “I’ve got to do X. I’ve never had to do X. You’ve had some experience with X. Can you give me
some advice?” You may have some wisdom and insights from your own life experience with X to share with that person. Don’t
worry about solving the BIG issues in this class. You can serve the world as well by simply addressing, and bringing to life in
words, the problems and life situations that you know best, no matter how mundane. Please notice that with rare exception the
essays you will read in this class do not cite outside sources. They are all written from the author’s actual life experiences. So think
of your audience as someone who can learn from your life experiences and write to them and for them.

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1.4: Reading to Write
WHAT THIS HANDOUT IS ABOUT
This handout suggests reading, note-taking, and writing strategies for when you need to use reading assignments or sources as the
springboard for writing a paper.

READING STRATEGIES
Read (or at least skim) all parts of the reading. Sometimes the cover, title, preface, introduction, illustrations, appendices,
epilogue, footnotes and “about the author” sections can provide you with valuable information.
Identify the genre of the reading. What kind of a reading is it? (Journal article? Mass media? Novel? Textbook?) Why was it
written? Who does the author assume is going to read this work? (Books about politics written for an audience of political
scientists, for example, might be very different from books about politics written for the general public, for historians, or for
sociologists.)
Consider the author. What do you know or what can you learn about this person? Why did he or she write the book? What
sources of information and/or methods did he or she use to gather the information presented in the book?
Guess why your instructor assigned the reading. How does it fit in with other readings, class discussions, major course
themes, or the purpose of the class?
Get out a calendar and plan your reading. Get out a calendar and plan your reading. Plot the number of days or hours that it
may take you to complete the reading. Be realistic. It may help to read one chapter of the reading and then revise your calendar
—some readings take longer than others of a similar length. Visit the Learning Center if you’d like to learn more about
scheduling your work or reading more quickly and effectively.
As you read, record your reactions and questions. Any reaction or question is valid, from the specific (“What’s that word
mean?”) to the general (“What’s her point?”). Write them down now so that you’ll remember them later. These reactions and
questions can serve as material for class discussion, or they can be the jumping off point for brainstorming a paper.
Read with a friend. Find someone else who is reading the same book. Set reading goals together and plan to share your
reactions to sections of the reading before class, after class, over e-mail, and so on.
Visit your instructor during office hours to discuss the reading. Your instructor will set aside hours when he or she will be
available to meet with students. This is a great time to talk about the reading, ask questions, share your reactions, and get to
know your instructor. You can do this with a friend or in a small group as well.
Think about what is missing in the reading. Issues, events, or ideas that are missing, left out, avoided, or not
discussed/addressed in the book might be important. Thinking about these omissions can give you a critical perspective on the
reading by showing you what the author (consciously or unconsciously) doesn’t want to deal with.
If you know you will have to answer a particular question in response to the reading, read with that question in mind.
Sometimes faculty will give you essay questions in advance. As you read the text, refer back to those questions and think about
your emerging answers to them.

WRITING STRATEGIES
While reading
Write as you read. Record your reactions informally and briefly after you’ve read for a while. When you’re done reading a
section, write for five minutes to capture your personal thoughts, reactions, and questions as you go along.
Keep your notes with your book. Tuck a few sheets of paper or a notepad inside the book to record your ideas as you read.
Share your informal writing with a friend. Trade notes/questions/reactions to the book. Write five-minute responses to one
another about the reading. This can be done by e-mail.
Draw while you read. Drawing pictures, maps or diagrams of relationships or important issues that you see emerging from the
reading can help you understand them. Be willing to revise or redraw the map as you read.

After you read

React to the whole reading. Take twenty minutes to record your reactions to the reading as a whole. (Return to the reading
strategies list to get you started if you need to.) Don’t be afraid to guess, hypothesize, or follow a tangent.
Reread the writing assignment. The Writing Center has a useful handout on understanding assignments that may help.

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 Get out a calendar and schedule the time you will need to write your paper. Working backwards from the due date, plot a
timeline for producing the paper. Include time for at least one rough draft and one chance to receive feedback from others (a
friend, your teaching assistant, your professor, the Writing Center, etc.) before turning it in.
Plan your research and think about citation. If the assignment requires library research, decide upon a strategy for collecting
and citing sources as you research and write. Be sure to cite any quoted information or information that was not generated by
your own analysis. Your instructor can answer all of your questions about this important step.
Write a draft, preferably a few days before the paper is due. Instructors can usually tell the difference between papers that
have been carefully drafted and revised and papers that have been hurriedly written the night before they are due. Papers written
the night before often receive disappointing grades.
Get feedback from at least one person, and preferably several people, before you finalize your draft. When possible, give
your readers a copy of the assignment, too. E-mail can make this process easier. See the Writing Center’s handout on getting
feedback.
Proofread your paper to catch errors before handing it in. Taking the time to spell-check and proofread will make your
paper easier to read and show your reader that you cared about the assignment. The Writing Center’s handout on editing and
proofreading may help.

When you get your paper back

Read all of your instructor’s comments. Assess your strengths and weaknesses in completing this reading/writing assignment.
Plan what adjustments you’ll make in the process for the next reading/writing assignment you will undertake. It may help to
save all of your old papers so that you can refer back to them and look for patterns in your instructor’s comments. You may also
want to keep a small notebook for your own assessment—writing down that you didn’t leave ample time for revision on one
paper, for example, may help you remember to schedule your time more effectively for the next paper.

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1.5: Defining the Writing Process

Figure 1.5.1
On the surface, nothing could be simpler than writing: You sit down, you pick up a pen or open a document on your computer, and
you write words. But anyone who has procrastinated or struggled with writer’s block knows that the writing process is more
arduous, if not somewhat mysterious and unpredictable.
People often think of writing in terms of its end product—the email, the report, the memo, essay, or research paper, all of which
result from the time and effort spent in the act of writing. In this course, however, you will be introduced to writing as the recursive
process of planning, drafting, and revising.

Writing is Recursive
You will focus as much on the process of writing as you will on its end product (the writing you normally submit for feedback or a
grade). Recursive means circling back; and, more often than not, the writing process will have you running in circles. You might be
in the middle of your draft when you realize you need to do more brainstorming, so you return to the planning stage. Even when
you have finished a draft, you may find changes you want to make to an introduction. In truth, every writer must develop his or her
own process for getting the writing done, but there are some basic strategies and techniques you can adapt to make your work a
little easier, more fulfilling and effective.

Developing Your Writing Process

The final product of a piece of writing is undeniably important, but the emphasis of this course is on developing a writing process
that works for you. Some of you may already know what strategies and techniques assist you in your writing. You may already be
familiar with prewriting techniques, such as freewriting, clustering, and listing. You may already have a regular writing practice.
But the rest of you may need to discover what works through trial and error. Developing individual strategies and techniques that
promote painless and compelling writing can take some time. So, be patient.

A Writer’s Process: Ali Hale

Read and examine The Writing Process by Ali Hale. Think of this document as a framework for defining the process in distinct
stages: Prewriting, Writing, Revising, Editing, and Publishing. You may already be familiar with these terms. You may recall from
past experiences that some resources refer to prewriting as planning and some texts refer to writing as drafting.
What is important to grasp early on is that the act of writing is more than sitting down and writing something. Please avoid the “one
and done” attitude, something instructors see all too often in undergraduate writing courses. Use Hale’s essay as your starting point
for defining your own process.

A Writer’s Process: Anne Lamott

In the video below, Anne Lamott, a writer of both non-fiction and fiction works, as well as the instructional novel on writing Bird
by Bird: Instructions on Writing, discusses her own journey as a writer, including the obstacles she has to overcome every time
she sits down to begin her creative process. She will refer to terms such as “the down draft,” “the up draft,” and “the dental draft.”
As you watch, think about how her terms, “down draft,” “up draft,” “dental draft,” work with those presented by Hale’s The
Writing Process. What does Lamott mean by these terms? Can you identify with her process or with the one Hale describes? How
are they related?
Also, when viewing the interview, pay careful attention to the following timeframe: 11:23 to 27:27 minutes and make a list of tips
and strategies you find particularly helpful. Think about how your own writing process fits with what Hale and Lamott have to say.
Is yours similar? Different? Is there any new information you have learned that you did not know before exposure to these works?

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 A Conversation with Anne Lamott - 2007

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1.6: Videos- Prewriting Techniques
Brainstorming
Brainstorming is a technique of listing as many ideas as possible about your writing topic. The greatest rule of brainstorming is to
keep the process as broad and open as possible. This video suggests several things that you DON’T want to do.

how NOT to brainstorm

Mindmapping
Mindmapping is similar to brainstorming, but it is much more visual. It allows you to create connections between ideas. It can be a
useful step after brainstorming, or it may match your style better if brainstorming seems too random. This video provides a good
overview:

How to Use Mind Mapping for Studying …

Freewriting
Freewriting is a process of simply writing. It helps you get started and can expand your thinking. Watch this video to learn more
about this technique:

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 Freewriting

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1.7: Audience
What this handout is about
This handout will help you understand and write for the appropriate audience when you write an academic essay.

Audience matters
When you’re in the process of writing a paper, it’s easy to forget that you are actually writing to someone. Whether you’ve thought
about it consciously or not, you always write to an audience: sometimes your audience is a very generalized group of readers,
sometimes you know the individuals who compose the audience, and sometimes you write for yourself. Keeping your audience in
mind while you write can help you make good decisions about what material to include, how to organize your ideas, and how best
to support your argument.
To illustrate the impact of audience, imagine you’re writing a letter to your grandmother to tell her about your first month of
college. What details and stories might you include? What might you leave out? Now imagine that you’re writing on the same topic
but your audience is your best friend. Unless you have an extremely cool grandma to whom you’re very close, it’s likely that your
two letters would look quite different in terms of content, structure, and even tone.

Isn’t my instructor my audience?

Yes, your instructor or TA is probably the actual audience for your paper. Your instructors read and grade your essays, and you
want to keep their needs and perspectives in mind when you write. However, when you write an essay with only your instructor in
mind, you might not say as much as you should or say it as clearly as you should, because you assume that the person grading it
knows more than you do and will fill in the gaps. This leaves it up to the instructor to decide what you are really saying, and she
might decide differently than you expect. For example, she might decide that those gaps show that you don’t know and understand
the material. Remember that time when you said to yourself, “I don’t have to explain communism; my instructor knows more about
that than I do” and got back a paper that said something like “Shows no understanding of communism”? That’s an example of what
can go awry when you think of your instructor as your only audience.
Thinking about your audience differently can improve your writing, especially in terms of how clearly you express your argument.
The clearer your points are, the more likely you are to have a strong essay. Your instructor will say, “He really understands
communism—he’s able to explain it simply and clearly!” By treating your instructor as an intelligent but uninformed audience, you
end up addressing her more effectively.

How do I identify my audience and what they want from me?

Before you even begin the process of writing, take some time to consider who your audience is and what they want from you. Use
the following questions to help you identify your audience and what you can do to address their wants and needs.
Who is your audience?
Might you have more than one audience? If so, how many audiences do you have? List them.
Does your assignment itself give any clues about your audience?
What does your audience need? What do they want? What do they value?
What is most important to them?
What are they least likely to care about?
What kind of organization would best help your audience understand and appreciate your? What do you have to say (or what
are you doing in your research) that might surprise your audience?
What do you want your audience to think, learn, or assume about you? What impression do you want your writing or your
research to convey?

How much should I explain?

This is the hard part. As we said earlier, you want to show your instructor that you know the material. But different assignments
call for varying degrees of information. Different fields also have different expectations. For more about what each field tends to
expect from an essay, see the Writing Center handouts on writing in specific fields of study. The best place to start figuring out
how much you should say about each part of your paper is in a careful reading of the assignment. We give you some tips for
reading assignments and figuring them out in our handout on how to read an assignment. The assignment may specify an

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audience for your paper; sometimes the instructor will ask you to imagine that you are writing to your congressperson, for a
professional journal, to a group of specialists in a particular field, or for a group of your peers. If the assignment doesn’t specify an
audience, you may find it most useful to imagine your classmates reading the paper, rather than your instructor.
Now, knowing your imaginary audience, what other clues can you get from the assignment? If the assignment asks you to
summarize something that you have read, then your reader wants you to include more examples from the text than if the
assignment asks you to interpret the passage. Most assignments in college focus on argument rather than the repetition of learned
information, so your reader probably doesn’t want a lengthy, detailed, point-by-point summary of your reading (book reports in
some classes and argument reconstructions in philosophy classes are big exceptions to this rule). If your assignment asks you to
interpret or analyze the text (or an event or idea), then you want to make sure that your explanation of the material is focused and
not so detailed that you end up spending more time on examples than on your analysis. If you are not sure about the difference
between explaining something and analyzing it, see our handouts on reading the assignment and argument.
Once you have a draft, try your level of explanation out on a friend, a classmate, or a Writing Center tutor. Get the person to read
your rough draft, and then ask her to talk to you about what she did and didn’t understand. (Now is not the time to talk about
proofreading stuff, so make sure she ignores those issues for the time being). You will likely get one of the following responses or a
combination of them:
If your listener/reader has tons of questions about what you are saying, then you probably need to explain more. Let’s say you
are writing a paper on piranhas, and your reader says, “What’s a piranha? Why do I need to know about them? How would I
identify one?” Those are vital questions that you clearly need to answer in your paper. You need more detail and elaboration.
If your reader seems confused, you probably need to explain more clearly. So if he says, “Are there piranhas in the lakes around
here?” you may not need to give more examples, but rather focus on making sure your examples and points are clear.
If your reader looks bored and can repeat back to you more details than she needs to know to get your point, you probably
explained too much. Excessive detail can also be confusing, because it can bog the reader down and keep her from focusing on
your main points. You want your reader to say, “So it seems like your paper is saying that piranhas are misunderstood creatures
that are essential to South American ecosystems,” not, “Uh… piranhas are important?” or, “Well, I know you said piranhas
don’t usually attack people, and they’re usually around 10 inches long, and some people keep them in aquariums as pets, and
dolphins are one of their predators, and…a bunch of other stuff, I guess?”
Sometimes it’s not the amount of explanation that matters, but the word choice and tone you adopt. Your word choice and tone
need to match your audience’s expectations. For example, imagine you are researching piranhas; you find an article in National
Geographic and another one in an academic journal for scientists. How would you expect the two articles to sound? National
Geographic is written for a popular audience; you might expect it to have sentences like “The piranha generally lives in shallow
rivers and streams in South America.” The scientific journal, on the other hand, might use much more technical language, because
it’s written for an audience of specialists. A sentence like “Serrasalmus piraya lives in fresh and brackish intercoastal and proto-
arboreal sub-tropical regions between the 45th and 38th parallels” might not be out of place in the journal.
Generally, you want your reader to know enough material to understand the points you are making. It’s like the old forest/trees
metaphor. If you give the reader nothing but trees, she won’t see the forest (your thesis, the reason for your paper). If you give her a
big forest and no trees, she won’t know how you got to the forest (she might say, “Your point is fine, but you haven’t proven it to
me”). You want the reader to say, “Nice forest, and those trees really help me to see it.” Our handout on paragraph development
can help you find a good balance of examples and explanation.

Reading your own drafts

Writers tend to read over their own papers pretty quickly, with the knowledge of what they are trying to argue already in their
minds. Reading in this way can cause you to skip over gaps in your written argument because the gap-filler is in your head. A
problem occurs when your reader falls into these gaps. Your reader wants you to make the necessary connections from one thought
or sentence to the next. When you don’t, the reader can become confused or frustrated. Think about when you read something and
you struggle to find the most important points or what the writer is trying to say. Isn’t that annoying? Doesn’t it make you want to
quit reading and surf the web or call a friend?

Putting yourself in the reader’s position

Instead of reading your draft as if you wrote it and know what you meant, try reading it as if you have no previous knowledge of
the material. Have you explained enough? Are the connections clear? This can be hard to do at first. Consider using one of the

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following strategies:
Take a break from your work—go work out, take a nap, take a day off. This is why the Writing Center and your instructors
encourage you to start writing more than a day before the paper is due. If you write the paper the night before it’s due, you make
it almost impossible to read the paper with a fresh eye.
Try outlining after writing—after you have a draft, look at each paragraph separately. Write down the main point for each
paragraph on a separate sheet of paper, in the order you have put them. Then look at your “outline”—does it reflect what you
meant to say, in a logical order? Are some paragraphs hard to reduce to one point? Why? This technique will help you find
places where you may have confused your reader by straying from your original plan for the paper.
Read the paper aloud—we do this all the time at the Writing Center, and once you get used to it, you’ll see that it helps you
slow down and really consider how your reader experiences your text. It will also help you catch a lot of sentence-level errors,
such as misspellings and missing words, which can make it difficult for your reader to focus on your argument.
These techniques can help you read your paper in the same way your reader will and make revisions that help your reader
understand your argument. Then, when your instructor finally reads your finished draft, he or she won’t have to fill in any gaps.
The more work you do, the less work your audience will have to do—and the more likely it is that your instructor will follow and
understand your argument.

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1.8: Thesis Statements
What this handout is about
This handout describes what a thesis statement is, how thesis statements work in your writing, and how you can discover or refine
one for your draft.

Introduction
Writing in college often takes the form of persuasion—convincing others that you have an interesting, logical point of view on the
subject you are studying. Persuasion is a skill you practice regularly in your daily life. You persuade your roommate to clean up,
your parents to let you borrow the car, your friend to vote for your favorite candidate or policy. In college, course assignments often
ask you to make a persuasive case in writing. You are asked to convince your reader of your point of view. This form of persuasion,
often called academic argument, follows a predictable pattern in writing. After a brief introduction of your topic, you state your
point of view on the topic directly and often in one sentence. This sentence is the thesis statement, and it serves as a summary of
the argument you’ll make in the rest of your paper .

What is a thesis statement?

A thesis statement:
tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under discussion.
is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper.
directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question or subject, not the subject itself. The
subject, or topic, of an essay might be World War II or Moby Dick; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the war or the
novel.
makes a claim that others might dispute.
is usually a single sentence somewhere in your first paragraph that presents your argument to the reader. The rest of the paper,
the body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence that will persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.
If your assignment asks you to take a position or develop a claim about a subject, you may need to convey that position or claim in
a thesis statement near the beginning of your draft. The assignment may not explicitly state that you need a thesis statement
because your instructor may assume you will include one. When in doubt, ask your instructor if the assignment requires a thesis
statement. When an assignment asks you to analyze, to interpret, to compare and contrast, to demonstrate cause and effect, or to
take a stand on an issue, it is likely that you are being asked to develop a thesis and to support it persuasively. (Check out our
handout on understanding assignments for more information.)

How do I get a thesis?

A thesis is the result of a lengthy thinking process. Formulating a thesis is not the first thing you do after reading an essay
assignment. Before you develop an argument on any topic, you have to collect and organize evidence, look for possible
relationships between known facts (such as surprising contrasts or similarities), and think about the significance of these
relationships. Once you do this thinking, you will probably have a “working thesis,” a basic or main idea, an argument that you
think you can support with evidence but that may need adjustment along the way.
Writers use all kinds of techniques to stimulate their thinking and to help them clarify relationships or comprehend the broader
significance of a topic and arrive at a thesis statement. For more ideas on how to get started, see our handout on brainstorming.

How do I know if my thesis is strong?

If there’s time, run it by your instructor or make an appointment at the Writing Center to get some feedback. Even if you do not
have time to get advice elsewhere, you can do some thesis evaluation of your own. When reviewing your first draft and its working
thesis, ask yourself the following:
Do I answer the question? Re-reading the question prompt after constructing a working thesis can help you fix an argument that
misses the focus of the question.
Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose?If your thesis simply states facts that no one would, or even
could, disagree with, it’s possible that you are simply providing a summary, rather than making an argument.

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 Is my thesis statement specific enough?
Thesis statements that are too vague often do not have a strong argument. If your thesis contains words like “good” or “successful,”
see if you could be more specific: why is something “good”; what specifically makes something “successful”?
Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? If a reader’s first response is, “So what?” then you need to clarify, to forge a
relationship, or to connect to a larger issue.
Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? If your thesis and the body of your essay do not seem to
go together, one of them has to change. It’s o.k. to change your working thesis to reflect things you have figured out in the
course of writing your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.
Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? If a reader’s first response is “how?” or “why?” your thesis may be too open-
ended and lack guidance for the reader. See what you can add to give the reader a better take on your position right from the
beginning.

Examples
Suppose you are taking a course on 19th-century America, and the instructor hands out the following essay assignment: Compare
and contrast the reasons why the North and South fought the Civil War. You turn on the computer and type out the following:
The North and South fought the Civil War for many reasons, some of which were the same and some different.
This weak thesis restates the question without providing any additional information. You will expand on this new information in
the body of the essay, but it is important that the reader know where you are heading. A reader of this weak thesis might think,
“What reasons? How are they the same? How are they different?” Ask yourself these same questions and begin to compare
Northern and Southern attitudes (perhaps you first think, “The South believed slavery was right, and the North thought slavery was
wrong”). Now, push your comparison toward an interpretation—why did one side think slavery was right and the other side think it
was wrong? You look again at the evidence, and you decide that you are going to argue that the North believed slavery was
immoral while the South believed it upheld the Southern way of life. You write:
While both sides fought the Civil War over the issue of slavery, the North fought for moral reasons while the South fought to
preserve its own institutions.
Now you have a working thesis! Included in this working thesis is a reason for the war and some idea of how the two sides
disagreed over this reason. As you write the essay, you will probably begin to characterize these differences more precisely, and
your working thesis may start to seem too vague. Maybe you decide that both sides fought for moral reasons, and that they just
focused on different moral issues. You end up revising the working thesis into a final thesis that really captures the argument in
your paper:
While both Northerners and Southerners believed they fought against tyranny and oppression, Northerners focused on the
oppression of slaves while Southerners defended their own right to self-government.
Compare this to the original weak thesis. This final thesis presents a way of interpreting evidence that illuminates the significance
of the question. Keep in mind that this is one of many possible interpretations of the Civil War—it is not the one and only right
answer to the question. There isn’t one right answer; there are only strong and weak thesis statements and strong and weak uses of
evidence.
Let’s look at another example. Suppose your literature professor hands out the following assignment in a class on the American
novel: Write an analysis of some aspect of Mark Twain’s novel Huckleberry Finn. “This will be easy,” you think. “I loved
Huckleberry Finn!” You grab a pad of paper and write:
Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.
Why is this thesis weak? Think about what the reader would expect from the essay that follows: you will most likely provide a
general, appreciative summary of Twain’s novel. The question did not ask you to summarize; it asked you to analyze. Your
professor is probably not interested in your opinion of the novel; instead, she wants you to think about whyit’s such a great novel—
what do Huck’s adventures tell us about life, about America, about coming of age, about race relations, etc.? First, the question
asks you to pick an aspect of the novel that you think is important to its structure or meaning—for example, the role of storytelling,
the contrasting scenes between the shore and the river, or the relationships between adults and children. Now you write:
In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and life on the shore.

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Here’s a working thesis with potential: you have highlighted an important aspect of the novel for investigation; however, it’s still
not clear what your analysis will reveal. Your reader is intrigued, but is still thinking, “So what? What’s the point of this contrast?
What does it signify?” Perhaps you are not sure yet, either. That’s fine—begin to work on comparing scenes from the book and see
what you discover. Free write, make lists, jot down Huck’s actions and reactions. Eventually you will be able to clarify for yourself,
and then for the reader, why this contrast matters. After examining the evidence and considering your own insights, you write:
Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American
democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.
This final thesis statement presents an interpretation of a literary work based on an analysis of its content. Of course, for the essay
itself to be successful, you must now present evidence from the novel that will convince the reader of your interpretation.

Works consulted
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the
handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this
list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on
formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial.
Anson, Chris M. and Robert A. Schwegler. The Longman Handbook for Writers. 2nd ed. New York: Longman, 2000.
Hairston, Maxine and John J. Ruszkiewicz. The Scott, Foresman Handbook for Writers. 4th ed. New York: HarperCollins, 1996.
Lunsford, Andrea and Robert Connors. The St. Martin’s Handbook. 3rd ed. New York: St. Martin’s, 1995.
Rosen, Leonard J. and Laurence Behrens. The Allyn & Bacon Handbook. 3rd ed. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 1997.

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1.9: Organizing an Essay
There are many elements that must come together to create a good essay. The topic should be clear and interesting. The author’s
voice should come through, but not be a distraction. There should be no errors in grammar, spelling, punctuation, or capitalization.
Organization is one of the most important elements of an essay that is often overlooked. An organized essay is clear, focused,
logical and effective.
Organization makes it easier to understand the thesis. To illustrate, imagine putting together a bike. Having all of the necessary
tools, parts, and directions will make the job easier to complete than if the parts are spread across the room and the tools are located
all over the house. The same logic applies to writing an essay. When all the parts of an essay are in some sort of order, it is both
easier for the writer to put the essay together and for the reader to understand the main ideas presented in the essay.

Figure 1.9.1
Although organization makes tasks easier to complete, there is not just one way of organizing. For example, there are hundreds of
ways to organize a kitchen. The glasses can go in the cupboard to the right of the sink or to the left of it. The silverware can be
placed in any number of drawers. Pots and pans can be hung on hooks over the island in the center of the kitchen or hidden in
cupboard space beneath the counter. It does not matter as much where these items are placed, but that they are organized in a
logical manner. Essays, like kitchens, can also be organized in different ways. There are three common strategies; however, it is
important to note that these are broad categories. Variations of these strategies can be used, and they may be combined with one
another.[1]

Strategy 1. Reverse Outlining

If your paper is about Huckleberry Finn, a working thesis might be: “In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast
between life on the river and life on the shore.” However, you might feel uncertain if your paper really follows through on the
thesis as promised.
This paper may benefit from reverse outlining. Your aim is to create an outline of what you’ve already written, as opposed to the
kind of outline that you make before you begin to write. The reverse outline will help you evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of
both your organization and your argument.
Read the draft and take notes
Read your draft over, and as you do so, make very brief notes in the margin about what each paragraph is trying to accomplish.
Outline the Draft
After you’ve read through the entire draft, transfer the brief notes to a fresh sheet of paper, listing them in the order in which they
appear. The outline might look like this:
Paragraph 1: Intro
Paragraph 2: Background on Huck Finn
Paragraph 3: River for Huck and Jim
Paragraph 4: Shore and laws for Huck and Jim
Paragraph 5: Shore and family, school
Paragraph 6: River and freedom, democracy
Paragraph 7: River and shore similarities
Paragraph 8: Conclusion
Examine the Outline
Look for repetition and other organizational problems. In the reverse outline above, there’s a problem somewhere in Paragraphs 3-
7, where the potential for repetition is high because you keep moving back and forth between river and shore.

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Re-examine the Thesis, the Outline, and the Draft Together
Look closely at the outline and see how well it supports the argument in your thesis statement. You should be able to see which
paragraphs need rewriting, reordering or rejecting. You may find some paragraphs are tangential or irrelevant or that some
paragraphs have more than one idea and need to be separated.

Strategy 2. Talk It Out

Figure 1.9.2
If your paper is about President Roosevelt’s New Deal, and your working thesis is: “The New Deal was actually a conservative
defense of American capitalism.” This strategy forces to explain your thinking to someone else.
Find a Friend, your T.A., your Professor, a relative, a Writing Center tutor, or any sympathetic and intelligent listener.
People are more accustomed to talking than writing, so it might be beneficial to explain your thinking out loud to someone before
organizing the essay. Talking to someone about your ideas may also relieve pressure and anxiety about your topic.
Explain What Your Paper Is About
Pay attention to how you explain your argument verbally. It is likely that the order in which you present your ideas and evidence to
your listener is a logical way to arrange them in your paper. Let’s say that you begin (as you did above) with the working thesis. As
you continue to explain, you realize that even though your draft doesn’t mention “private enterprise” until the last two paragraphs,
you begin to talk about it right away. This fact should tell you that you probably need to discuss private enterprise near the
beginning.
Take Notes
You and your listener should keep track of the way you explain your paper. If you don’t, you probably won’t remember what
you’ve talked about. Compare the structure of the argument in the notes to the structure of the draft you’ve written.
Get Your Listener to Ask Questions
As the writer, it is in your interest to receive constructive criticism so that your draft will become stronger. You want your listener
to say things like, “Would you mind explaining that point about being both conservative and liberal again? I wasn’t sure I
followed” or “What kind of economic principle is government relief? Do you consider it a good or bad thing?” Questions you can’t
answer may signal an unnecessary tangent or an area needing further development in the draft. Questions you need to think about
will probably make you realize that you need to explain more your paper. In short, you want to know if your listener fully
understands you; if not, chances are your readers won’t, either.[2]

Strategy 3. Paragraphs
Readers need paragraph breaks in order to organize their reading. Writers need paragraph breaks to organize their writing. A
paragraph break indicates a change in focus, topic, specificity, point of view, or rhetorical strategy. The paragraph should have one
main idea; the topic sentence expresses this idea. The paragraph should be organized either spatially, chronologically, or logically.
The movement may be from general to specific, specific to general, or general to specific to general. All paragraphs must contain
developed ideas: comparisons, examples, explanations, definitions, causes, effects, processes, or descriptions. There are several
concluding strategies which may be combined or used singly, depending on the assignment’s length and purpose:
a summary of the main points
a hook and return to the introductory “attention-getter” to frame the essay
a web conclusion which relates the topic to a larger context of a greater significance
a proposal calling for action or further examination of the topic
a question which provokes the reader
a quote

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 a vivid image or compelling narrative[3]
Put Paragraphs into Sections
You should be able to group your paragraphs so that they make a particular point or argument that supports your thesis. If any
paragraph, besides the introduction or conclusion, cannot fit into any section, you may have to ask yourself whether it belongs in
the essay.
Re-examine each Section
Assuming you have more than one paragraph under each section, try to distinguish between them. Perhaps you have two arguments
in favor of that can be distinguished from each other by author, logic, ethical principles invoked, etc. Write down the distinctions —
they will help you formulate clear topic sentences.
Re-examine the Entire Argument
Which section do you want to appear first? Why? Which Second? Why? In what order should the paragraphs appear in each
section? Look for an order that makes the strongest possible argument.[4]

References
1. Organizing an Essay ↵
2. Reorganizing Your Draft ↵
3. Parts of an Essay ↵
4. Reorganizing Your Draft ↵

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1.10: Creating Paragraphs
A paragraph is a self-contained portion of your argument. Paragraphs will begin by making a claim that connects back to your
thesis. The body of the paragraph will present the evidence, reasoning and conclusions that prove that claim. Usually, paragraphs
will end by connecting their claim to the larger argument or by setting up the claim that the next paragraph will contain.

How Many Paragraphs Do You Need?

There is no set number for how many paragraphs a paper should have. You will need one for an introduction and one for a
conclusion, but after that the number can vary. However, you will need one paragraph for every claim that makes up your
argument.
Paragraphs should be used to develop one idea at a time rather than contain many different ideas and claims. If you have a lot of
ideas and claims to address, you may be tempted to combine related claims into the same paragraph. Combining different points in
the same paragraph cuts down on how much space you have to argue each point. This will divide your reader’s attention and make
your argument less thorough.
By dedicating each paragraph to only one part of your argument, you will give the reader time to fully evaluate and understand
each claim before going on to the next one. Think of paragraphs as a way of guiding your reader’s attention – by giving them a
single topic, you force them to focus on it. When you direct their focus, they will have a much easier time following your
argument.
Some writing manuals will direct you to have one paragraph for every point made in your thesis. The general idea behind this rule
is a good one – you need to address every point, and you will need at least a paragraph for each. However, do not feel like you can
only devote one paragraph to each point. If your argument is complex, you may need to have subsections for each of your main
points. Each one of those supporting points should be its own paragraph.

Using Topic Sentences

Every paragraph of argument should begin with a topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will prove. By providing
the reader with expectations at the start of the paragraph, you help them understand where you are going and how the paragraph fits
in with the overall structure of your argument. Topic sentences should always connect back to your thesis statement – if you cannot
find a way to describe a paragraph in relation to your thesis, you probably do not need it for your argument.

Creating Good Paragraphs

If the thesis contains multiple points or assertions, each body paragraph should support or justify them, preferably in the order the
assertions were originally stated in the thesis. Thus, the topic sentence for the first body paragraph will refer to the first point in the
thesis sentence and the topic sentence for the second body paragraph will refer to the second point in the thesis sentence. Each body
paragraph is something like a miniature essay in that they each need an introductory sentence that makes an important and
interesting argument, and that they each need a good closing sentence in order to produce a smooth transition between one point
and the next. Transitions from one argument to the next, as well as within paragraphs, are important to add coherence to your paper.

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1.11: Paragraphs
What this handout is about
This handout will help you understand how paragraphs are formed, how to develop stronger paragraphs, and how to completely
and clearly express your ideas.

What is a paragraph?
Paragraphs are the building blocks of papers. Many students define paragraphs in terms of length: a paragraph is a group of at least
five sentences, a paragraph is half a page long, etc. In reality, though, the unity and coherence of ideas among sentences is what
constitutes a paragraph. A paragraph is defined as “a group of sentences or a single sentence that forms a unit” (Lunsford and
Connors 116). Length and appearance do not determine whether a section in a paper is a paragraph. For instance, in some styles of
writing, particularly journalistic styles, a paragraph can be just one sentence long. Ultimately, a paragraph is a sentence or group of
sentences that support one main idea. In this handout, we will refer to this as the “controlling idea,” because it controls what
happens in the rest of the paragraph.

How do I decide what to put in a paragraph?

Before you can begin to determine what the composition of a particular paragraph will be, you must first decide on a working
thesis for your paper. What is the most important idea that you are trying to convey to your reader? The information in each
paragraph must be related to that idea. In other words, your paragraphs should remind your reader that there is a recurrent
relationship between your thesis and the information in each paragraph. A working thesis functions like a seed from which your
paper, and your ideas, will grow. The whole process is an organic one—a natural progression from a seed to a full-blown paper
where there are direct, familial relationships between all of the ideas in the paper.
The decision about what to put into your paragraphs begins with the germination of a seed of ideas; this “germination process” is
better known as brainstorming. There are many techniques for brainstorming; whichever one you choose, this stage of paragraph
development cannot be skipped. Building paragraphs can be like building a skyscraper: there must be a well-planned foundation
that supports what you are building. Any cracks, inconsistencies, or other corruptions of the foundation can cause your whole paper
to crumble.
So, let’s suppose that you have done some brainstorming to develop your thesis. What else should you keep in mind as you begin to
create paragraphs? Every paragraph in a paper should be
Unified—All of the sentences in a single paragraph should be related to a single controlling idea (often expressed in the topic
sentence of the paragraph).
Clearly related to the thesis—The sentences should all refer to the central idea, or thesis, of the paper (Rosen and Behrens
119).
Coherent—The sentences should be arranged in a logical manner and should follow a definite plan for development (Rosen
and Behrens 119).
Well-developed—Every idea discussed in the paragraph should be adequately explained and supported through evidence and
details that work together to explain the paragraph’s controlling idea (Rosen and Behrens 119).

How do I organize a paragraph?

There are many different ways to organize a paragraph. The organization you choose will depend on the controlling idea of the
paragraph. Below are a few possibilities for organization, with brief examples.
Narration: Tell a story. Go chronologically, from start to finish. (See an example.)
Description: Provide specific details about what something looks, smells, tastes, sounds, or feels like. Organize spatially, in
order of appearance, or by topic. (See an example.)
Process: Explain how something works, step by step. Perhaps follow a sequence—first, second, third. (See an example.)
Classification: Separate into groups or explain the various parts of a topic. (See an example.)
Illustration: Give examples and explain how those examples prove your point. (See the detailed example in the next section of
this handout.)

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5-step process to paragraph development
Let’s walk through a 5-step process to building a paragraph. Each step of the process will include an explanation of the step and a
bit of “model” text to illustrate how the step works. Our finished model paragraph will be about slave spirituals, the original songs
that African Americans created during slavery. The model paragraph uses illustration (giving examples) to prove its point.

Step 1. Decide on a controlling idea and create a topic sentence

Paragraph development begins with the formulation of the controlling idea. This idea directs the paragraph’s development. Often,
the controlling idea of a paragraph will appear in the form of a topic sentence. In some cases, you may need more than one sentence
to express a paragraph’s controlling idea. Here is the controlling idea for our “model paragraph,” expressed in a topic sentence:
Model controlling idea and topic sentence— Slave spirituals often had hidden double meanings.

Step 2. Explain the controlling idea

Paragraph development continues with an expression of the rationale or the explanation that the writer gives for how the reader
should interpret the information presented in the idea statement or topic sentence of the paragraph. The writer explains his/her
thinking about the main topic, idea, or focus of the paragraph. Here’s the sentence that would follow the controlling idea about
slave spirituals:
Model explanation—On one level, spirituals referenced heaven, Jesus, and the soul; but on another level, the songs spoke
about slave resistance.

Step 3. Give an example (or multiple examples)

Paragraph development progresses with the expression of some type of support or evidence for the idea and the explanation that
came before it. The example serves as a sign or representation of the relationship established in the idea and explanation portions of
the paragraph. Here are two examples that we could use to illustrate the double meanings in slave spirituals:
Model example A— For example, according to Frederick Douglass, the song “O Canaan, Sweet Canaan” spoke of slaves’
longing for heaven, but it also expressed their desire to escape to the North. Careful listeners heard this second meaning in the
following lyrics: “I don’t expect to stay / Much longer here. / Run to Jesus, shun the danger. / I don’t expect to stay.”
Model example B— Slaves even used songs like “Steal Away to Jesus (at midnight)” to announce to other slaves the time and
place of secret, forbidden meetings.

Step 4. Explain the example(s)

The next movement in paragraph development is an explanation of each example and its relevance to the topic sentence and
rationale that were stated at the beginning of the paragraph. This explanation shows readers why you chose to use this/or these
particular examples as evidence to support the major claim, or focus, in your paragraph.
Continue the pattern of giving examples and explaining them until all points/examples that the writer deems necessary have been
made and explained. NONE of your examples should be left unexplained. You might be able to explain the relationship between
the example and the topic sentence in the same sentence which introduced the example. More often, however, you will need to
explain that relationship in a separate sentence. Look at these explanations for the two examples in the slave spirituals paragraph:
Model explanation for example A— When slaves sang this song, they could have been speaking of their departure from this
life and their arrival in heaven; however, they also could have been describing their plans to leave the South and run, not to
Jesus, but to the North.
Model explanation for example B—[The relationship between example B and the main idea of the paragraph’s controlling
idea is clear enough without adding another sentence to explain it.]

Step 5. Complete the paragraph’s idea or transition into the next paragraph
The final movement in paragraph development involves tying up the loose ends of the paragraph and reminding the reader of the
relevance of the information in this paragraph to the main or controlling idea of the paper. At this point, you can remind your reader
about the relevance of the information that you just discussed in the paragraph. You might feel more comfortable, however, simply
transitioning your reader to the next development in the next paragraph. Here’s an example of a sentence that completes the slave
spirituals paragraph:

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 Model sentence for completing a paragraph— What whites heard as merely spiritual songs, slaves discerned as detailed
messages. The hidden meanings in spirituals allowed slaves to sing what they could not say.
Notice that the example and explanation steps of this 5-step process (steps 3 and 4) can be repeated as needed. The idea is
that you continue to use this pattern until you have completely developed the main idea of the paragraph.
Here is a look at the completed “model” paragraph:
Slave spirituals often had hidden double meanings. On one level, spirituals referenced heaven, Jesus, and the soul, but on another
level, the songs spoke about slave resistance. For example, according to Frederick Douglass, the song “O Canaan, Sweet Canaan”
spoke of slaves’ longing for heaven, but it also expressed their desire to escape to the North. Careful listeners heard this second
meaning in the following lyrics: “I don’t expect to stay / Much longer here. / Run to Jesus, shun the danger. / I don’t expect to stay.”
When slaves sang this song, they could have been speaking of their departure from this life and their arrival in heaven; however,
they also could have been describing their plans to leave the South and run, not to Jesus, but to the North. Slaves even used songs
like “Steal Away to Jesus (at midnight)” to announce to other slaves the time and place of secret, forbidden meetings. What whites
heard as merely spiritual songs, slaves discerned as detailed messages. The hidden meanings in spirituals allowed slaves to sing
what they could not say.

Troubleshooting paragraphs
Problem 1: The paragraph has no topic sentence.
Imagine each paragraph as a sandwich. The real content of the sandwich—the meat or other filling—is in the middle. It includes all
the evidence you need to make the point. But it gets kind of messy to eat a sandwich without any bread. Your readers don’t know
what to do with all the evidence you’ve given them. So, the top slice of bread (the first sentence of the paragraph) explains the topic
(or controlling idea) of the paragraph. And, the bottom slice (the last sentence of the paragraph) tells the reader how the paragraph
relates to the broader argument. In the original and revised paragraphs below, notice how a topic sentence expressing the
controlling idea tells the reader the point of all the evidence.
Original paragraph
Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first
instinct is to flee, not attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by
piranhas. If the fish are well-fed, they won’t bite humans.
Revised paragraph
Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed
on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not
attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. If the fish are
well-fed, they won’t bite humans.
Once you have mastered the use of topic sentences, you may decide that the topic sentence for a particular paragraph really
shouldn’t be the first sentence of the paragraph. This is fine—the topic sentence can actually go at the beginning, middle, or end of
a paragraph; what’s important is that it is in there somewhere so that readers know what the main idea of the paragraph is and how
it relates back to the thesis of your paper. Suppose that we wanted to start the piranha paragraph with a transition sentence—
something that reminds the reader of what happened in the previous paragraph—rather than with the topic sentence. Let’s suppose
that the previous paragraph was about all kinds of animals that people are afraid of, like sharks, snakes, and spiders. Our paragraph
might look like this (the topic sentence is underlined):
Like sharks, snakes, and spiders, pirahnas are widely feared. Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they
are, for the most part, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When
confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are
eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. If the fish are well-fed, they won’t bite humans.

Problem 2: The paragraph has more than one controlling idea.

If a paragraph has more than one main idea, consider eliminating sentences that relate to the second idea, or split the paragraph into
two or more paragraphs, each with only one main idea. In the following paragraph, the final two sentences branch off into a
different topic; so, the revised paragraph eliminates them and concludes with a sentence that reminds the reader of the paragraph’s
main idea.

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Original paragraph
Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed
on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not
attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. A number of
South American groups eat piranhas. They fry or grill the fish and then serve them with coconut milk or tucupi, a sauce made from
fermented manioc juices.
Revised paragraph
Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed
on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not
attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. If the fish are
well-fed, they won’t bite humans.

Problem 3: Transitions are needed within the paragraph.

You are probably familiar with the idea that transitions may be needed between paragraphs or sections in a paper (see our handout
on this subject). Sometimes they are also helpful within the body of a single paragraph. Within a paragraph, transitions are often
single words or short phrases that help to establish relationships between ideas and to create a logical progression of those ideas in
a paragraph. This is especially likely to be true within paragraphs that discuss multiple examples. Let’s take a look at a version of
our piranha paragraph that uses transitions to orient the reader:
Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, except in two main situations, entirely harmless. Piranhas
rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ instinct is to flee,
not attack. But there are two situations in which a piranha bite is likely. The first is when a frightened piranha is lifted out of the
water—for example, if it has been caught in a fishing net. The second is when the water level in pools where piranhas are living
falls too low. A large number of fish may be trapped in a single pool, and if they are hungry, they may attack anything that enters
the water.
In this example, you can see how the phrases “the first” and “the second” help the reader follow the organization of the ideas in the
paragraph.

Works Consulted
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the
handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this
list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on
formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial.
Lunsford, Andrea and Robert Collins. The St. Martin’s Handbook, Annotated Instructor’s Edition. 5th Ed. New York: St. Martin’s,
2003.
Rosen, Leonard and Laurence Behrens. The Allyn and Bacon Handbook, Annotated Instructor’s Edition. 4th Ed. Boston: Allyn and
Bacon, 2000.

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1.12: Conclusions
What this handout is about
This handout will explain the functions of conclusions, offer strategies for writing effective ones, help you evaluate your drafted
conclusions, and suggest conclusion strategies to avoid.

About conclusions
Introductions and conclusions can be the most difficult parts of papers to write. While the body is often easier to write, it needs a
frame around it. An introduction and conclusion frame your thoughts and bridge your ideas for the reader.
Just as your introduction acts as a bridge that transports your readers from their own lives into the “place” of your analysis, your
conclusion can provide a bridge to help your readers make the transition back to their daily lives. Such a conclusion will help them
see why all your analysis and information should matter to them after they put the paper down.
Your conclusion is your chance to have the last word on the subject. The conclusion allows you to have the final say on the issues
you have raised in your paper, to summarize your thoughts, to demonstrate the importance of your ideas, and to propel your reader
to a new view of the subject. It is also your opportunity to make a good final impression and to end on a positive note.
Your conclusion can go beyond the confines of the assignment. The conclusion pushes beyond the boundaries of the prompt and
allows you to consider broader issues, make new connections, and elaborate on the significance of your findings.
Your conclusion should make your readers glad they read your paper. Your conclusion gives your reader something to take away
that will help them see things differently or appreciate your topic in personally relevant ways. It can suggest broader implications
that will not only interest your reader, but also enrich your reader’s life in some way. It is your gift to the reader.

Strategies for writing an effective conclusion

One or more of the following strategies may help you write an effective conclusion.
Play the “So What” Game. If you’re stuck and feel like your conclusion isn’t saying anything new or interesting, ask a friend to
read it with you. Whenever you make a statement from your conclusion, ask the friend to say, “So what?” or “Why should
anybody care?” Then ponder that question and answer it. Here’s how it might go:
You: Basically, I’m just saying that education was important to Douglass.
Friend: So what?
You: Well, it was important because it was a key to him feeling like a free and equal citizen.
Friend: Why should anybody care?
You: That’s important because plantation owners tried to keep slaves from being educated so that they could maintain control.
When Douglass obtained an education, he undermined that control personally.
You can also use this strategy on your own, asking yourself “So What?” as you develop your ideas or your draft.
Return to the theme or themes in the introduction. This strategy brings the reader full circle. For example, if you begin by
describing a scenario, you can end with the same scenario as proof that your essay is helpful in creating a new understanding.
You may also refer to the introductory paragraph by using key words or parallel concepts and images that you also used in the
introduction.
Synthesize, don’t summarize: Include a brief summary of the paper’s main points, but don’t simply repeat things that were in
your paper. Instead, show your reader how the points you made and the support and examples you used fit together. Pull it all
together.
Include a provocative insight or quotation from the research or reading you did for your paper.
Propose a course of action, a solution to an issue, or questions for further study. This can redirect your reader’s thought process
and help her to apply your info and ideas to her own life or to see the broader implications.
Point to broader implications. For example, if your paper examines the Greensboro sit-ins or another event in the Civil Rights
Movement, you could point out its impact on the Civil Rights Movement as a whole. A paper about the style of writer Virginia
Woolf could point to her influence on other writers or on later feminists.

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Strategies to avoid
Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase such as “in conclusion,” “in summary,” or “in closing.” Although these
phrases can work in speeches, they come across as wooden and trite in writing.
Stating the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion.
Introducing a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion.
Ending with a rephrased thesis statement without any substantive changes.
Making sentimental, emotional appeals that are out of character with the rest of an analytical paper.
Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the body of the paper.

Four kinds of ineffective conclusions

1. The “That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to It” Conclusion. This conclusion just restates the thesis and is usually painfully short.
It does not push the ideas forward. People write this kind of conclusion when they can’t think of anything else to say. Example:
In conclusion, Frederick Douglass was, as we have seen, a pioneer in American education, proving that education was a major
force for social change with regard to slavery.
2. The “Sherlock Holmes” Conclusion. Sometimes writers will state the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion. You might
be tempted to use this strategy if you don’t want to give everything away too early in your paper. You may think it would be
more dramatic to keep the reader in the dark until the end and then “wow” him with your main idea, as in a Sherlock Holmes
mystery. The reader, however, does not expect a mystery, but an analytical discussion of your topic in an academic style, with
the main argument (thesis) stated up front. Example: (After a paper that lists numerous incidents from the book but never says
what these incidents reveal about Douglass and his views on education): So, as the evidence above demonstrates, Douglass saw
education as a way to undermine the slaveholders’ power and also an important step toward freedom.
3. The “America the Beautiful”/”I Am Woman”/”We Shall Overcome” Conclusion. This kind of conclusion usually draws on
emotion to make its appeal, but while this emotion and even sentimentality may be very heartfelt, it is usually out of character
with the rest of an analytical paper. A more sophisticated commentary, rather than emotional praise, would be a more fitting
tribute to the topic. Example: Because of the efforts of fine Americans like Frederick Douglass, countless others have seen the
shining beacon of light that is education. His example was a torch that lit the way for others. Frederick Douglass was truly an
American hero.
4. The “Grab Bag” Conclusion. This kind of conclusion includes extra information that the writer found or thought of but couldn’t
integrate into the main paper. You may find it hard to leave out details that you discovered after hours of research and thought,
but adding random facts and bits of evidence at the end of an otherwise-well-organized essay can just create confusion.
Example: In addition to being an educational pioneer, Frederick Douglass provides an interesting case study for masculinity in
the American South. He also offers historians an interesting glimpse into slave resistance when he confronts Covey, the
overseer. His relationships with female relatives reveal the importance of family in the slave community.

Works consulted
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the
handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this
list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on
formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial.
All quotations are from:
Douglass, Frederick. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, edited and with introduction by Houston A.
Baker, Jr., New York: Penguin Books, 1986.
Strategies for Writing a Conclusion. Literacy Education Online, St. Cloud State University. 18 May 2005
<http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/conclude.html>.
Conclusions. Nesbitt-Johnston Writing Center, Hamilton College. 17 May 2005
<www.hamilton.edu/academic/Res...nclusions.html>.

This page titled 1.12: Conclusions is shared under a CC BY 4.0 license and was authored, remixed, and/or curated by Lumen Learning via source
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1.13: Revising
Reviewing, Editing, Proofreading, and Making an Overview
Every time you revise your work substantially, you will be conducting three distinct functions in the following order: reviewing for
purpose, editing and proofreading, making a final overview.

Reviewing for Purpose

 Learning Objectives
Understand why and when to review for purpose.
Be prepared to use self-questioning in the purpose review process.

Although you will naturally be reviewing for purpose throughout the entire writing process, you should read through your first
complete draft once you have finished it and carefully reconsider all aspects of your essay. As you review for purpose, keep in
mind that your paper has to be clear to others, not just to you. Try to read through your paper from the point of view of a member
of your targeted audience who is reading your paper for the first time. Make sure you have neither failed to clarify the points your
audience will need to have clarified nor overclarified the points your audience will already completely understand.

Figure 1.13.1

Revisiting Your Statement of Purpose

Self-questioning is a useful tool when you are in the reviewing process. In anticipation of attaching a writer’s memo to your
draft as you send it out for peer or instructor review, reexamine the six elements of the triangle that made up your original
statement of purpose (voice, audience, message, tone, attitude, and reception):
Voice: Does it sound like a real human being wrote this draft? Does my introduction project a clear sense of who I am?
Honestly, would someone other than my paid instructor or assigned peer(s) read beyond the first paragraph of this essay?
Audience: Does my writing draw in a specific set of readers with a catchy hook? Do I address the same audience throughout
the essay? If I don’t, am I being intentional about shifting from one audience to another?
Message: Are my main points strong and clear? Do I have ample support for each of them? Do my supporting details clearly
support my main points?
Tone: Am I using the proper tone given my audience? Is my language too casual or not professional enough? Or is it needlessly
formal and stiff sounding? Does my tone stay consistent throughout the draft?
Attitude: Will my organization make sense to another reader? Does my stance toward the topic stay consistent throughout the
draft? If it doesn’t, do I explain the cause of the transformation in my attitude?
Reception: Is my goal or intent for writing clear? How is this essay likely to be received? What kind of motivation, ideas, or
emotions will this draft draw out of my readers? What will my readers do, think, or feel immediately after finishing this essay?

Handling Peer and Instructor Reviews

In many situations, you will be required to have at least one of your peers review your essay (and you will, in turn, review at least
one peer’s essay). Even if you’re not required to exchange drafts with a peer, it’s simply essential at this point to have another pair
of eyes, so find a classmate or friend and ask them to look over your draft. In other cases, your instructor may be intervening at this
point with ungraded but evaluative commentary on your draft. Whatever the system, before you post or trade your draft for review,

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use your answers to the questions in “Reviewing for Purpose” to tweak your original statement of purpose, giving a clear statement
of your desired voice, audience, message, tone, attitude, and reception. Also, consider preparing a descriptive outline showing
how the essay actually turned out and comparing that with your original plan, or consider writing a brief narrative describing how
the essay developed from idea to execution. Finally, include any other questions or concerns you have about your draft, so that your
peer reader(s) or instructor can give you useful, tailored feedback. These reflective statements and documents could be attached
with your draft as part of a writer’s memo. Remember, the more guidance you give your readers, regardless of whether they are
your peers or your instructor, the more they will be able to help you.
When you receive suggestions for content changes from your instructors, try to put aside any tendencies to react defensively, so
that you can consider their ideas for revisions with an open mind. If you are accustomed only to getting feedback from instructors
that is accompanied by a grade, you may need to get used to the difference between evaluation and judgment. In college settings,
instructors often prefer to intervene most extensively after you have completed a first draft, with evaluative commentary that tends
to be suggestive, forward-looking, and free of a final quantitative judgment (like a grade). If you read your instructors’ feedback in
those circumstances as final, you can miss the point of the exercise. You’re supposed to do something with this sort of commentary,
not just read it as the justification for a (nonexistent) grade.
Sometimes peers think they’re supposed to “sound like an English teacher” so they fall into the trap of “correcting” your draft, but
in most cases, the prompts used in college- level peer reviewing discourage that sort of thing. In many situations, your peers will
give you ideas that will add value to your paper, and you will want to include them. In other situations, your peers’ ideas will not
really work into the plan you have for your paper. It is not unusual for peers to offer ideas that you may not want to implement.
Remember, your peers’ ideas are only suggestions, and it is your essay, and you are the person who will make the final decisions. If
your peers happen to be a part of the audience to which you are writing, they can sometimes give you invaluable ideas. And if
they’re not, take the initiative to find outside readers who might actually be a part of your audience.
When you are reviewing a peer’s essay, keep in mind that the author likely knows more about the topic than you do, so don’t
question content unless you are certain of your facts. Also, do not suggest changes just because you would do it differently or
because you want to give the impression that you are offering ideas. Only suggest changes that you seriously think would make the
essay stronger.

 key takeaways
You should review for purpose while you are writing, after you finish your first draft, and after you feel your essay is nearly
complete.
Use self-questioning to evaluate your essay as you are revising the purpose. Keep your voice, audience, message, tone,
attitude, and reception in mind as you write and revise.
When you are reviewing a peers’ essay, make only suggestions that you think will make the essay stronger. When you
receive reviews from instructors or peers, try to be open minded and consider the value of the ideas to your essay.

 Exercise 1.13.1
1. Find multiple drafts of an essay you have recently completed. Write a descriptive outline of at least two distinct drafts you
wrote during the process.
2. For a recently completed essay, discuss how at least one element of your statement of purpose (voice, audience, message,
tone, attitude, or reception) changed over the course of the writing process.
3. With your writing group, develop five questions you think everyone in your class should have to answer about their essay
drafts before submitting them for evaluation from a peer or your instructor.

Editing and Proofreading

 Learning Objectives
Understand why editing and proofreading is important even for careful writers.
Recognize the benefits of peer editing and proofreading and the similarities between editing and proofreading your work
and the work of others.
Know how to edit and proofread for issues of both mechanics and style.

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When you have made some revisions to your draft based on feedback and your recalibration of your purpose for writing, you may
now feel your essay is nearly complete. However, you should plan to read through the entire final draft at least one additional time.
During this stage of editing and proofreading your entire essay, you should be looking for general consistency and clarity. Also,
pay particular attention to parts of the paper you have moved around or changed in other ways to make sure that your new versions
still work smoothly.
Although you might think editing and proofreading isn’t necessary since you were fairly careful when you were writing, the truth is
that even the very brightest people and best writers make mistakes when they write. One of the main reasons that you are likely to
make mistakes is that your mind and fingers are not always moving along at the same speed nor are they necessarily in sync. So
what ends up on the page isn’t always exactly what you intended. A second reason is that, as you make changes and adjustments,
you might not totally match up the original parts and revised parts. Finally, a third key reason for proofreading is because you likely
have errors you typically make and proofreading gives you a chance to correct those errors.

Figure 1.13.2

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Editing and proofreading can work well with a partner. You can offer to be another pair of eyes for peers in exchange for their
doing the same for you. Whether you are editing and proofreading your work or the work of a peer, the process is basically the
same. Although the rest of this section assumes you are editing and proofreading your work, you can simply shift the personal
issues, such as “Am I…” to a viewpoint that will work with a peer, such as “Is she…”
As you edit and proofread, you should look for common problem areas that stick out. There are certain writing rules that you must
follow, but other more stylistic writing elements are more subjective and will require judgment calls on your part.
Be proactive in evaluating these subjective, stylistic issues since failure to do so can weaken the potential impact of your essay.
Keeping the following questions in mind as you edit and proofread will help you notice and consider some of those subjective
issues:
At the word level: Am I using descriptive words? Am I varying my word choices rather than using the same words over and
over? Am I using active verbs? Am I writing concisely? Does every word in each sentence perform a function?
At the sentence level: Am I using a variety of sentence beginnings? Am I using a variety of sentence formats? Am I using
ample and varied transitions? Does every sentence advance the value of the essay?
At the paragraph and essay level: How does this essay look? Am I using paragraphing and paragraph breaks to my
advantage? Are there opportunities to make this essay work better visually? Are the visuals I’m already using necessary? Am I
using the required formatting (or, if there’s room for creativity, am I using the optimal formatting)? Is my essay the proper
length?

 key takeaways
Edit and proofread your work since it is easy to make mistakes between your mind and your typing fingers, as well as when
you are moving around parts of your essay.
Trading a nearly final version of a draft with peers is a valuable exercise since others can often more easily see your
mistakes than you can. When you edit and proofread for a peer, you use the same process as when you edit and proofread
for yourself.
As you are editing and proofreading, you will encounter some issues that are either right or wrong and you simply have to
correct them when they are wrong. Other more stylistic issues, such as using adequate transitions, ample descriptive words,
and enough variety in sentence formats, are subjective. Besides dealing with matters of correctness, you will have to make
choices about subjective and stylistic issues while you proofread.

 Exercise 1.13.2
1. Write a one-page piece about how you decided which college to attend. Give a copy of your file (or a hard copy) to three
different peers to edit and proofread. Then edit and proofread your page yourself. Finally, compare your editing and
proofreading results to those of your three peers. Categorize the suggested revisions and corrections as objective standards
of correctness or subjective matters of style.
2. Create a “personal editing and proofreading guide” that includes an overview of both objective and subjective issues
covered in this book that are common problems for you in your writing. In your guide, include tips from this book and self-
questions that can help you with your problem writing areas.

Making a Final Overview

 Learning Objectives
Understand the types of problems that might recur throughout your work.
Know when you should conduct isolated checks during a final overview.
Understand how to conduct isolated checks.

While you are managing the content of your essay and moving things around in it, you are likely to notice isolated issues that could
recur throughout your work. To verify that these issues are satisfactorily dealt with from the beginning to the end of your essay,
make a checklist of the issues as you go along. Conduct isolated checks of the whole paper after you are finished editing and
proofreading. You might conduct some checks by flipping through the hard-copy pages, some by clicking through the pages on
your computer, and some by conducting “computer finds” (good for cases when you want to make sure you’ve used the same

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proper noun correctly and consistently). Remember to take advantage of all the editing features of the word processing program
you’re using, such as spell check and grammar check. In most versions of Word, for instance, you’ll see red squiggly lines
underneath misspelled words and green squiggly lines underneath misuses of grammar. Right click on those underlined words to
examine your options for revision.

Figure 1.13.3
The following checklist shows examples of the types of things that you might look for as you make a final pass (or final passes)
through your paper. It often works best to make a separate pass for each issue because you are less likely to miss an issue and you
will probably be able to make multiple, single-issue passes more quickly than you can make one multiple-issue pass.
All subheadings are placed correctly (such as in the center or at the beginning of a page).
All the text is the same size and font throughout.
The page numbers are all formatted and appearing as intended.
All image and picture captions are appearing correctly.

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 All spellings of proper nouns have been corrected.
The words “there” and “their” and “they’re” are spelled correctly. (Or you can insert your top recurring error here.)
References are all included in the citation list.
Within the citation list, references are all in a single, required format (no moving back and forth between Modern Language
Association [MLA] and American Psychological Association [APA], for instance).
All the formatting conventions for the final manuscript follow the style sheet assigned by the instructor (e.g., MLA, APA,
Chicago Manual of Style [CMS], or other).
This isn’t intended to be an all-inclusive checklist. Rather, it simply gives you an idea of the types of things for which you might
look as you conduct your final check. You should develop your unique list that might or might not include these same items.

 key takeaways
Often a good way to make sure you do not miss any details you want to change is to make a separate pass through your
essay for each area of concern. You can conduct passes by flipping through hard copies, clicking through pages on a
computer, or using the “find” feature on a computer.
You should conduct a final overview with isolated checks after you are finished editing and proofreading the final draft.
As you are writing, make a checklist of recurring isolated issues that you notice in your work. Use this list to conduct
isolated checks on the final draft of your paper.

 Exercise 1.13.3

Complete each sentence to create a logical item for a list to use for a final isolated check. Do not use any of the examples given
in the text.
1. All the subheadings are…
2. The spacing between paragraphs…
3. Each page includes…
4. I have correctly spelled…
5. The photos are all placed…
6. The words in the flow charts and diagrams…

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1.14: Editing and Proofreading
When revising written work within a writing community, it is a good idea to visualize the process and workflow before you get
started in earnest. While revision is a recursive (circling back) practice and writers frequently move back and forth between
editorial stages, the flowchart below is designed to help you follow and appreciate the general progression of revision.

Figure 1.14.1

Revising After Writing Community Feedback

After submitting and receiving your peer reviews in your writing community, return to your own work and take a long, hard look at
the recommendations your instructor and classmates have made regarding your draft. Remember that you are seeking ways to make
the meaning clear in your essay. Do not be afraid of changing the essay in radical ways, especially if the ideas and organization
haven’t conveyed the meaning you intended. Build on the strengths and add, cut, reorder, or start over where needed.

Use a Writing Rubric

After you have incorporated some of the recommendations into your revision, review the 6+1 Traits Rubric, which features the
five areas (below) by which the final draft of your essay will be graded. Make sure that you are fully editing and proofreading your
draft.
By editing, you are reviewing and revising the big picture items:
1. Ideas—Are my ideas and content developed?
You are looking for ideas to be clear and focused, remaining on topic throughout the essay. Make sure your details support the
central focus of the narrative.
2. Organization—Does my essay provide a logical organization, demonstrating an order or structure that supports the ideas
clearly?
Give your narrative a creative title and provide an inviting introduction. Craft thoughtful transitions as the the essay progresses,
making sure that the structure is logical.
3. Word Choice—Have I provided language that sounds natural and conveys the intended message of the essay?
Your essay should flow naturally from your own choice of words and phrases. Use action verbs and avoid linking verbs. Don’t
forget to read aloud to see if your voice comes through in this essay.
4. Sentence Fluency—Are my sentences well-built, demonstrating a strong sense of varied structure?
One quick editing technique you can use to test for fluency is to circle the first word of every sentence. Do you see initial words
repeating? Do you start sentences with articles (a, an, the) or with pronouns (or names of characters)? If so, try to incorporate some
prepositional phrases and introductory clauses so you incorporate sentence variety and create a rhythm to your sentences that avoid
choppiness.
By proofreading, you are taking into consideration standard writing conventions:
5. Conventions—Have I demonstrated a good grasp of standard writing conventions? Have I checked the essay for any
misspellings? Is my punctuation accurate? Have I avoided the pitfalls of many common grammar errors? Did I meet the word
counts required for this essay? Do I have proper paragraph structure? Have I made sure that what I mean to say is not undermined
or impeded by grammatical, mechanical, or stylistic errors?

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Proofread Your Writing Backward
While there are a number of ways to proofread written content for errors, it is often useful to review your writing “backward.”
That is, you read the last sentence of the essay first, then backward, sentence by sentence, until you finish your proofreading with
the first sentence. This kind of reading isolates individual sentences from the essay’s context, so that you are not reading for
meaning within a paragraph but for errors that may appear in individual sentences.
Apply the backward review to the Revision Practices within a Writing Community flowchart above: did you find the error?

Writing to the Final Version: Suit Up!

Writing a polished paper is, in and of itself, an intellectual challenge and following formatting guidelines in this and other college
courses signals to your readers that your paper should be taken seriously as a contribution to a particular course or a given
academic or professional field. Think of presenting your essay in the correct format like wearing a tailored suit to a job interview.
Of course, there’s more to making a narrative presentable than its format. The narrative should be presentable in terms of its
grammar, mechanics, and style. If you would like to get a little practice with sentence-by-sentence proofreading, feel free to try
either of the proofreading exercises made available by Pen and Page:
Proofreading Exercise 1
Proofreading Exercise 2

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1.15: Matters of Grammar, Mechanics, and Style
For many students, the discussion of grammar, mechanics, and style is intimidating. There are rules, and lots of them. And when
rules are broken, some kind of inquisition or punishment is bound to follow. Any student who has experienced an instructor’s
editorial comments (also known as the red pen “blood” in the margins of a paper) knows what it feels like to be a hapless violator
of the rules.

Rules Matter

Figure 1.15.1
Despite your gut reactions to learning certain rules for grammar, mechanics, and style, you have to acknowledge that the rules
matter. People communicate daily in written forms, such as emails, letters, reports, and essays. And many of them need to
communicate in such a way that they are taken seriously.
In academic writing, it is your job to make sure that the people who read what you write (your instructor and classmates)
understand what you are trying to say. If your thoughts are not arranged appropriately, your readers may get confused. If you do not
acknowledge and employ the rules of grammar, mechanics, and style, you are at a distinct disadvantage as a communicator.

The Grammar Report

Being able to identify grammatical, mechanical, or stylistic problems that exist in your writing is one way to improve your writing.
These problems may have been with you for some time, failing to be identified, researched, and remedied.
The Grammar Report assignments will assist you in not only identifying your problem, but also you help you seek out examples of
the problem, research the rules related to the problem, and finally “reporting” on your experience to your classmates. Indeed, the
process is not just about you addressing a writing problem; it is about sharing your experience and remedies, so that you can teach
others to avoid writing errors.

Improving Grammar, Mechanics, and Style

There are a wide variety of resources to support your research. A good place to start is the free online textbook, Successful
Writing. You can use the find/search feature of your browser to look up particular topics and use the practice exercises to work
through the process of identifying and correcting errors.
Here are some online resources that you may find useful, as well:
Capital Community College’s Guide to Grammar and Writing
Grammar Book
Excelsior Online Writing Lab (OWL)
Grammar Girl
At some point, you may find that you share the same grammatical, mechanical, or stylistic problems with others in this course.
Take a moment to look at the most commonly occurring grammar errors listed in the “Attending to Grammar” materials
developed by the Dartmouth Writing Program. Of the top 20 grammar errors listed, consider which ones are common to you. Then
make sure you make every effort to eradicate them from your writing.

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1.16: Peer Review Checklist

Figure 1.16.1
Each essay is made up of multiple parts. In order to have a strong essay each part must be logical and effective. In many cases
essays will be written with a strong thesis, but the rest of the paper will be lacking; making the paper ineffective. An essay is only
as strong as its weakest point.
One of the most important steps for creating a strong essay is to have others review it. By completing a peer review you will be
able to create a better thesis statement and supporting arguments.
Using a checklist to complete your review will allow you to rate each of the parts in the paper according to their strength. There are
many different peer review checklists, but the one below should be helpful for your assignment.
1. Is the thesis clear?
2. Does the author use his or her own ideas in the thesis and argument?
3. Is the significance of the problem in the paper explained? Is the significance compelling?
4. Are the ideas developed logically and thoroughly?
5. Does the author use ethos effectively?
6. Does the author use pathos effectively?
7. Are different viewpoints acknowledged?
8. Are objections effectively handled?
9. Does the author give adequate explanations about sources used?
10. Are the sources well-integrated into the paper, or do they seem to be added in just for the sake of adding sources?
11. Is the word choice specific, concrete and interesting?
12. Are the sentences clear?
13. Is the overall organization of the argument effective?
14. Are the transitions between paragraphs smooth?
15. Are there any grammatical errors?

Sources
Based on the rubric found at: Grading Rubric Template (Word)

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1.17: Comparative Chart of Writing Strategies
Structuring Specialized Paragraphs
Many of the same common patterns of organizing your writing and thinking are available at the paragraph level to help you make
your case to support your thesis. Using these common patterns helps readers understand your points more easily.

Pattern Explanation Example

Walking down an aisle at a farmers’ market is like walking down the

Analogies are used to draw comparisons
rows in a garden. Fresh mustard greens might be on one side and fresh
between seemingly unlike people, items,
Analogy radishes on another. The smell of green beans meshes with the smell of
places, or situations. Writers use
strawberries and the vibrant colors of nature are everywhere. You might
analogies to help clarify a point.
find that you even have a little garden dirt on your shoes.
You will find that your meals benefit greatly from shopping at the
farmers’ market. You will eat fewer unnatural foods, so you will feel
Cause-and-effect paragraphs point out better and have more energy. The freshness of the foods will make your
Cause and effect how one thing is caused by another and dishes taste and look better. The excitement of finding something new at
are used to clarify relationships. the market will translate to eagerness to try it out within a meal. It won’t
be long until you anticipate going to the farmers’ market as a way to
enhance the quality of your meals.
Tomatoes purchased at the farmers’ market are almost totally different
from tomatoes purchased in a grocery store. To begin with, although
Comparison and contrast is simply telling
tomatoes from both sources will mostly be red, the tomatoes at the
how two things are alike or different. You
farmers’ market are a brighter red than those at a grocery store. That
can choose to compare and contrast by
doesn’t mean they are shinier—in fact, grocery store tomatoes are often
selecting a trait, explaining how each
shinier since they have been waxed. You are likely to see great size
thing relates, and then moving on to
variation in tomatoes at the farmers’ market, with tomatoes ranging
another trait (alternating organization, as
Comparison and contrast from only a couple of inches across to eight inches across. By contrast,
here). Or for more complex comparisons
the tomatoes in a grocery store will be fairly uniform in size. All the
and contrasts, you can describe all the
visual differences are interesting, but the most important difference is
features of one thing in one or more
the taste. The farmers’ market tomatoes will be bursting with flavor
paragraphs and then all the features of the
from ripening on the vine in their own time. The grocery store tomatoes
other thing in one or more paragraphs
are often close to flavorless. Unless you have no choice, you really
(block organization).
should check out a farmers’ market the next time you’re shopping for
fresh produce.
If you see a “pluot” at the farmers’ market, give it a try. It might seem
odd to see a fruit you have never heard of before, but pluots are
relatively new in the fruit world. A pluot is a hybrid fruit created from
Definition paragraphs are used to clarify joining an apricot and a plum. Pluots range in size from that of a small
Definition
key word or concepts. apricot to that of a large plum. The outer skin varies in color from sort
of cloudy golden to cloudy purplish. Overall, a pluot looks and tastes
more like a plum than an apricot, although the skins are less tart than
those of typical plums.
The farmers who sell their wares at the farmers’ market near my house
are as natural as their foods. They are all dressed casually so that they
look more like they are hanging out with friends than trying to entice
You can use description to bring
people to purchase something from them. The women aren’t wearing
Description something to life so that the readers can
makeup and the men have not necessarily shaved in a few days. They
get a clear impression of it.
are eager to share information and samples without applying any sales
pressure. They are people with whom you would likely enjoy sitting
around a campfire and trading stories.

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 Pattern Explanation Example

You will find some foods at the farmers’ market that you might not
typically eat. For example, some farmers bring pickled pigs’ feet or
Examples are commonly used to clarify a mustard greens that taste like wasabi. Some vendors sell gooseberry
Examples
point for readers. pies and cactus jelly. It is not uncommon to see kumquat jam and garlic
spears. The farmers’ market is truly an adventuresome way to shop for
food.
Sauntering through the farmers’ market on a cool fall day, I happened
upon a small lizard. Actually, my foot nearly happened upon him, but I
stopped just in time to pull back and spare him. As I stooped to look at
Narration is writing that sounds like a
him, he scampered up over the top of a watermelon and out of sight.
story. You might use narration within a
Glancing behind the melon, I saw that the lizard had a friend. I watched
Narration nonfiction paper as a means of
them bopping their heads at each other and couldn’t help but wonder if
personalizing a topic or simply making a
they were communicating. Perhaps the one was telling the other about
point stand out.
the big brown thing that nearly crashed down upon him. For him, I
expect it was a harrowing moment. For me, it was just another charming
trip to the farmers’ market.
Our farmers’ market is in danger of closing because a building is going
to be constructed in the empty lot where it has been held for the past ten
years. Since the market is such an asset to our community, a committee
formed to look for a new location. The first idea was to close a street off
A problem–solution paragraph begins for a few hours each Saturday morning. Unfortunately, the city manager
with a topic sentence that presents a nixed that idea since he believed that too many people would complain.
Problem–solution
problem and then follows with details Barry Moore suggested that the market could be held in the state park
that present a solution for the problem. that is just a few miles out of town. Again, a government worker struck
down the idea. This time, the problem was that for-profit events are not
allowed in state parks. Finally, I came up with the perfect idea, and our
government blessed the idea. Since the high school is closed on
Saturday, we will be having the market in the school parking lot.

Using a Clear Organizational Pattern

Depending on your writing topic, you might find it beneficial to use one of these common organizational patterns.

Pattern Explanation Example

The first key to growing good tomatoes is to give the seedlings plenty
of room. Make sure to transplant them to small pots once they get their
first leaves. Even when they are just starting out in pots, they need
A process analysis paragraph is used to plenty of light, air, and heat. Make sure to warm up the ground in
describe how something is made or to advance by covering it in plastic sheeting for a couple of weeks. When
Process analysis
explain the steps for how something is you are ready to plant them in soil, plant them deeply enough so they
done. can put down some strong roots. Mulch next, and once the stems of the
tomato plants have reached a few inches in height, cut off the lower
leaves to avoid fungi. Carefully prune the suckers that develop in the
joints of the developing stems.

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 Pattern Explanation Example

As soon as I arrived at the farmers’ market, I bought a large bag of

lettuce. I walked around the corner and saw the biggest, most gorgeous
sunflower I had ever seen. So I bought it and added it to my lettuce bag.
The flower was so big that I had to hold the bag right in front of me to
keep it from being bumped. At the Wilson Pork Farm booth, I tasted a
little pulled pork. You guessed it—I had to buy a quart of it. I went on
with a plastic quart container in my left hand and my lettuce and flower
in my right hand. I was handling it all just fine until I saw a huge
Chronological arrangement presents hanging spider plant I had to have. Ever so gently, I placed my pulled
Chronological
information in time order. pork container inside the spider fern plant pot. Now I was holding
everything right in front of me as I tried to safely make my way through
the crowd. That’s when I met up with little Willie. Willie was about
seven years old and he was playing tag with his brother. I’m not sure
where their mother was, but Willie came running around the corner and
smacked right into me. You are probably thinking that poor Willie had
pulled pork all over his clothes and an upside-down plant on his head.
But no, not at all. That was me. Willie didn’t even notice. He was too
busy chasing his brother.
The displays at the farmers’ market do not lack for variety. You will see
every almost every kind of fresh, locally grown food you can imagine.
The featured fruits on a given day might be as varied as pomegranates,
A common paragraph format is to present
General-to-specific persimmons, guava, jackfruit, and citron. Vegetables might include
a general idea and then give examples.
shiitake mushrooms, artichokes, avocados, and garlic. Some vendors
also sell crafts, preserves, seeds, and other supplies suitable for starting
your own garden.
Your sense of smell is awakened by eighteen varieties of fresh roma
tomatoes. Your mouth waters at the prospect of sampling the fresh
The reverse of the above format is to give
breads. Your eye catches a glimpse of the colors of handmade,
Specific-to-general some examples and then summarize them
embroidered bags. You linger to touch a perfectly ripe peach. Your ears
with a general idea.
catch the strain of an impromptu jug band. A walk up and down the
aisles of your local farmers’ market will engage all of your senses.

A paragraph using spatial From top to bottom, the spice booth at our farmers’ market is amazing.
organizationpresents details as you would Up high they display artwork painstakingly made with spices. At eye
naturally encounter them, such as from level, you see at least ten different fresh spices in small baggies. On the
Spatial top to bottom or from the inside to the tabletop is located an assortment of tasting bowls with choices ranging
outside. In other words, details are from desserts to drinks to salads. Below the table, but out of the way of
presented based on their physical customers, are large bags of the different spices. Besides being a great
location. use of space, the spice booth looks both professional and charming.

Maintaining Internal Integrity of Paragraphs

A paragraph is more than just a group of sentences thrown together. You need to make linkages between your ideas, use
parallelism, and maintain consistency.

Pattern Explanation Example

Not all the booths at a farmers’ market feature food. One couple has a
booth that sells only fresh flowers. They display some flowers in
Paragraphs with linkages flow well so
antique containers and sell the flowers, the containers, or both. A
that readers can follow along easily. You
clothesline above our heads displays a variety of dried flowers. A table
need to present an idea and then link the
holds about fifty vases of varying sizes, and they are all full of flowers.
Linkages rest of the ideas in the paragraph together.
Some vases hold only one kind of long-stem flowers. Others hold
Do not leave any pulling together for
mixtures of uncut flowers. Still others showcase gorgeous
your readers to do mentally. Do it all for
arrangements. Both the man and the woman wear a wreath of flowers
them.
on their heads. The whole display is so attractive and smells so fabulous
that it really draws people in.

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 Pattern Explanation Example

The history of this farmers’ market followed a fairly typical pattern. It

started out in the 1970s as a co-op of local farmers, featuring a small
city block of modest tables and temporary displays every Saturday
morning from April to October from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. In the early 1990s,
Parallelism means that you maintain the
with the help of a grant from the city, the market expanded its footprint
same general wording and format for
to a larger, more centrally located city block with ample parking. It
similar situations throughout the
Parallelism benefited greatly from the installation of permanent booths, electrical
paragraph so that once readers figure out
outlets, and a ready water supply. These amenities drew far more
what is going on, they can easily
customers and merchants. Its popularity reached unprecedented levels
understand the whole paragraph.
by 2000, when the city offered to help with the staffing needed to keep
it open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturdays and from noon to 5 p.m. on
Sundays. Recently, discussions began about how to open the market on
weeknights in the summer from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.
There comes a time each year when you must begin the all-important
step of actually harvesting your vegetable garden. You will want to pick
A paragraph with consistency uses the
some of your vegetables before they are fully ripe. Eggplants,
same point of view and the same verb
cucumbers, and squash fall into this category because they can further
tense throughout. In other words, if you
ripen once you have picked them. On the other hand, you will find that
Consistency are using third person in the beginning of
tomatoes, pumpkins, and most melons really need to ripen fully before
the paragraph, you use it throughout the
you harvest them. You should also keep in mind that you will need
paragraph. If you are using present tense
plenty of storage space for your bounty. And if you have a good harvest,
to start the paragraph, you stick with it.
you might want to have a few friends in mind, especially as recipients
for your squash and cucumbers.

Using Transitions
Transitions within paragraphs are words that connect one sentence to another so that readers can easily follow the intended
meanings of sentences and relationships between sentences. The following table shows some commonly used transition words:

Function Common Words

after that, again, also, although, and then, but, despite, even though, finally, first/second/third/etc.,
To compare/contrast
however, in contrast, in the same way, likewise, nevertheless, next, on the other hand, similarly, then

To signal cause and effect as a result, because, consequently, due to, hence, since, therefore, thus

after, as soon as, at that time, before, during, earlier, finally, immediately, in the meantime, later,
To show sequence or time
meanwhile, now, presently, simultaneously, so far, soon, until, then, thereafter, when, while
above, adjacent to, below, beside, beyond, close, nearby, next to, north/south/east/west, opposite, to
To indicate place or direction
the left/right

To present examples for example, for instance, in fact, to illustrate, specifically

To suggest relationships and, also, besides, further, furthermore, in addition, moreover, too

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 CHAPTER OVERVIEW

2: Using Sources
2.1: Evidence
2.2: Quoting, Paraphrasing, and Avoiding Plagiarism
2.3: How to Write a Summary
2.4: How to Write a Summary by Paraphrasing Source Material
2.5: How to Write an Annotation
2.6: MLA Format
2.7: Formatting the Works Cited Page (MLA)
2.8: Citing Paraphrases and Summaries (APA)
2.9: APA Citation Style, 6th edition- General Style Guidelines

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1
2.1: Evidence
WHAT THIS HANDOUT IS ABOUT
This handout will provide a broad overview of gathering and using evidence. It will help you decide what counts as evidence, put
evidence to work in your writing, and determine whether you have enough evidence. It will also offer links to additional resources.

INTRODUCTION
Many papers that you write in college will require you to make an argument; this means that you must take a position on the
subject you are discussing and support that position with evidence. It’s important that you use the right kind of evidence, that you
use it effectively, and that you have an appropriate amount of it. If, for example, your philosophy professor didn’t like it that you
used a survey of public opinion as your primary evidence in your ethics paper, you need to find out more about what philosophers
count as good evidence. If your instructor has told you that you need more analysis, suggested that you’re “just listing” points or
giving a “laundry list,” or asked you how certain points are related to your argument, it may mean that you can do more to fully
incorporate your evidence into your argument. Comments like “for example?,” “proof?,” “go deeper,” or “expand” in the margins
of your graded paper suggest that you may need more evidence. Let’s take a look at each of these issues—understanding what
counts as evidence, using evidence in your argument, and deciding whether you need more evidence.

WHAT COUNTS AS EVIDENCE?

Before you begin gathering information for possible use as evidence in your argument, you need to be sure that you understand the
purpose of your assignment. If you are working on a project for a class, look carefully at the assignment prompt. It may give you
clues about what sorts of evidence you will need. Does the instructor mention any particular books you should use in writing your
paper or the names of any authors who have written about your topic? How long should your paper be (longer works may require
more, or more varied, evidence)? What themes or topics come up in the text of the prompt? Our handout on understanding
writing assignments can help you interpret your assignment. It’s also a good idea to think over what has been said about the
assignment in class and to talk with your instructor if you need clarification or guidance.

WHAT MATTERS TO INSTRUCTORS?

Instructors in different academic fields expect different kinds of arguments and evidence—your chemistry paper might include
graphs, charts, statistics, and other quantitative data as evidence, whereas your English paper might include passages from a novel,
examples of recurring symbols, or discussions of characterization in the novel. Consider what kinds of sources and evidence you
have seen in course readings and lectures. You may wish to see whether the Writing Center has a handout regarding the specific
academic field you’re working in—for example, literature, sociology, or history.

WHAT ARE PRIMARY AND SECONDARY SOURCES?

A note on terminology: many researchers distinguish between primary and secondary sources of evidence (in this case, “primary”
means “first” or “original,” not “most important”). Primary sources include original documents, photographs, interviews, and so
forth. Secondary sources present information that has already been processed or interpreted by someone else. For example, if you
are writing a paper about the movie “The Matrix,” the movie itself, an interview with the director, and production photos could
serve as primary sources of evidence. A movie review from a magazine or a collection of essays about the film would be secondary
sources. Depending on the context, the same item could be either a primary or a secondary source: if I am writing about people’s
relationships with animals, a collection of stories about animals might be a secondary source; if I am writing about how editors
gather diverse stories into collections, the same book might now function as a primary source.

WHERE CAN I FIND EVIDENCE?

Here are some examples of sources of information and tips about how to use them in gathering evidence. Ask your instructor if you
aren’t sure whether a certain source would be appropriate for your paper.

Print and electronic sources

Books, journals, websites, newspapers, magazines, and documentary films are some of the most common sources of evidence for
academic writing. Our handout on evaluating print sources will help you choose your print sources wisely, and the library has a
tutorialon evaluating both print sources and websites. A librarian can help you find sources that are appropriate for the type of

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assignment you are completing. Just visit the reference desk at Davis or the Undergraduate Library or chat with a librarian online
(the library’s IM screen name is undergradref).

Observation
Sometimes you can directly observe the thing you are interested in, by watching, listening to, touching, tasting, or smelling it. For
example, if you were asked to write about Mozart’s music, you could listen to it; if your topic was how businesses attract traffic,
you might go and look at window displays at the mall.

Interviews
An interview is a good way to collect information that you can’t find through any other type of research. An interview can provide
an expert’s opinion, biographical or first-hand experiences, and suggestions for further research.

Surveys
Surveys allow you to find out some of what a group of people thinks about a topic. Designing an effective survey and interpreting
the data you get can be challenging, so it’s a good idea to check with your instructor before creating or administering a survey.

Experiments
Experimental data serve as the primary form of scientific evidence. For scientific experiments, you should follow the specific
guidelines of the discipline you are studying. For writing in other fields, more informal experiments might be acceptable as
evidence. For example, if you want to prove that food choices in a cafeteria are affected by gender norms, you might ask
classmates to undermine those norms on purpose and observe how others react. What would happen if a football player were eating
dinner with his teammates and he brought a small salad and diet drink to the table, all the while murmuring about his waistline and
wondering how many fat grams the salad dressing contained?

Personal experience
Using your own experiences can be a powerful way to appeal to your readers. You should, however, use personal experience only
when it is appropriate to your topic, your writing goals, and your audience. Personal experience should not be your only form of
evidence in most papers, and some disciplines frown on using personal experience at all. For example, a story about the microscope
you received as a Christmas gift when you were nine years old is probably not applicable to your biology lab report.

USING EVIDENCE IN AN ARGUMENT

Does evidence speak for itself?
Absolutely not. After you introduce evidence into your writing, you must say why and how this evidence supports your argument.
In other words, you have to explain the significance of the evidence and its function in your paper. What turns a fact or piece of
information into evidence is the connection it has with a larger claim or argument: evidence is always evidence for or
againstsomething, and you have to make that link clear.
As writers, we sometimes assume that our readers already know what we are talking about; we may be wary of elaborating too
much because we think the point is obvious. But readers can’t read our minds: although they may be familiar with many of the
ideas we are discussing, they don’t know what we are trying to do with those ideas unless we indicate it through explanations,
organization, transitions, and so forth. Try to spell out the connections that you were making in your mind when you chose your
evidence, decided where to place it in your paper, and drew conclusions based on it. Remember, you can always cut prose from
your paper later if you decide that you are stating the obvious.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself about a particular bit of evidence:
1. O.k., I’ve just stated this point, but so what? Why is it interesting? Why should anyone care?
2. What does this information imply?
3. What are the consequences of thinking this way or looking at a problem this way?
4. I’ve just described what something is like or how I see it, but why is it like that?
5. I’ve just said that something happens-so how does it happen? How does it come to be the way it is?
6. Why is this information important? Why does it matter?
7. How is this idea related to my thesis? What connections exist between them? Does it support my thesis? If so, how does it do
that?

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 8. Can I give an example to illustrate this point?
Answering these questions may help you explain how your evidence is related to your overall argument.

HOW CAN I INCORPORATE EVIDENCE INTO MY PAPER?

There are many ways to present your evidence. Often, your evidence will be included as text in the body of your paper, as a
quotation, paraphrase, or summary. Sometimes you might include graphs, charts, or tables; excerpts from an interview; or
photographs or illustrations with accompanying captions.

Quotations
When you quote, you are reproducing another writer’s words exactly as they appear on the page. Here are some tips to help you
decide when to use quotations:
1. Quote if you can’t say it any better and the author’s words are particularly brilliant, witty, edgy, distinctive, a good illustration
of a point you’re making, or otherwise interesting.
2. Quote if you are using a particularly authoritative source and you need the author’s expertise to back up your point.
3. Quote if you are analyzing diction, tone, or a writer’s use of a specific word or phrase.
4. Quote if you are taking a position that relies on the reader’s understanding exactly what another writer says about the topic.
Be sure to introduce each quotation you use, and always cite your sources. See our handout on quotations for more details on
when to quote and how to format quotations.
Like all pieces of evidence, a quotation can’t speak for itself. If you end a paragraph with a quotation, that may be a sign that you
have neglected to discuss the importance of the quotation in terms of your argument. It’s important to avoid “plop quotations,” that
is, quotations that are just dropped into your paper without any introduction, discussion, or follow-up.

Paraphrasing
When you paraphrase, you take a specific section of a text and put it into your own words. Putting it into your own words doesn’t
mean just changing or rearranging a few of the author’s words: to paraphrase well and avoid plagiarism, try setting your source
aside and restating the sentence or paragraph you have just read, as though you were describing it to another person. Paraphrasing
is different than summary because a paraphrase focuses on a particular, fairly short bit of text (like a phrase, sentence, or
paragraph). You’ll need to indicate when you are paraphrasing someone else’s text by citing your source correctly, just as you
would with a quotation.
When might you want to paraphrase?
1. Paraphrase when you want to introduce a writer’s position, but his or her original words aren’t special enough to quote.
2. Paraphrase when you are supporting a particular point and need to draw on a certain place in a text that supports your point—
for example, when one paragraph in a source is especially relevant.
3. Paraphrase when you want to present a writer’s view on a topic that differs from your position or that of another writer; you can
then refute writer’s specific points in your own words after you paraphrase.
4. Paraphrase when you want to comment on a particular example that another writer uses.
5. Paraphrase when you need to present information that’s unlikely to be questioned.

Summary
When you summarize, you are offering an overview of an entire text, or at least a lengthy section of a text. Summary is useful
when you are providing background information, grounding your own argument, or mentioning a source as a counter-argument. A
summary is less nuanced than paraphrased material. It can be the most effective way to incorporate a large number of sources when
you don’t have a lot of space. When you are summarizing someone else’s argument or ideas, be sure this is clear to the reader and
cite your source appropriately.

Statistics, data, charts, graphs, photographs, illustrations

Sometimes the best evidence for your argument is a hard fact or visual representation of a fact. This type of evidence can be a solid
backbone for your argument, but you still need to create context for your reader and draw the connections you want him or her to
make. Remember that statistics, data, charts, graph, photographs, and illustrations are all open to interpretation. Guide the reader

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through the interpretation process. Again, always, cite the origin of your evidence if you didn’t produce the material you are using
yourself.

DO I NEED MORE EVIDENCE?

Let’s say that you’ve identified some appropriate sources, found some evidence, explained to the reader how it fits into your overall
argument, incorporated it into your draft effectively, and cited your sources. How do you tell whether you’ve got enough evidence
and whether it’s working well in the service of a strong argument or analysis? Here are some techniques you can use to review your
draft and assess your use of evidence.

Make a reverse outline

A reverse outline is a great technique for helping you see how each paragraph contributes to proving your thesis. When you make a
reverse outline, you record the main ideas in each paragraph in a shorter (outline-like) form so that you can see at a glance what is
in your paper. The reverse outline is helpful in at least three ways. First, it lets you see where you have dealt with too many topics
in one paragraph (in general, you should have one main idea per paragraph). Second, the reverse outline can help you see where
you need more evidence to prove your point or more analysis of that evidence. Third, the reverse outline can help you write your
topic sentences: once you have decided what you want each paragraph to be about, you can write topic sentences that explain the
topics of the paragraphs and state the relationship of each topic to the overall thesis of the paper.
For tips on making a reverse outline, see our handout on organization.

Color code your paper

You will need three highlighters or colored pencils for this exercise. Use one color to highlight general assertions. These will
typically be the topic sentences in your paper. Next, use another color to highlight the specific evidence you provide for each
assertion (including quotations, paraphrased or summarized material, statistics, examples, and your own ideas). Lastly, use another
color to highlight analysis of your evidence. Which assertions are key to your overall argument? Which ones are especially
contestable? How much evidence do you have for each assertion? How much analysis? In general, you should have at least as
much analysis as you do evidence, or your paper runs the risk of being more summary than argument. The more controversial an
assertion is, the more evidence you may need to provide in order to persuade your reader.

Play devil’s advocate, act like a child, or doubt everything

This technique may be easiest to use with a partner. Ask your friend to take on one of the roles above, then read your paper aloud to
him/her. After each section, pause and let your friend interrogate you. If your friend is playing devil’s advocate, he or she will
always take the opposing viewpoint and force you to keep defending yourself. If your friend is acting like a child, he or she will
question every sentence, even seemingly self-explanatory ones. If your friend is a doubter, he or she won’t believe anything you
say. Justifying your position verbally or explaining yourself will force you to strengthen the evidence in your paper. If you already
have enough evidence but haven’t connected it clearly enough to your main argument, explaining to your friend how the evidence
is relevant or what it proves may help you to do so.

COMMON QUESTIONS AND ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

I have a general topic in mind; how can I develop it so I’ll know what evidence I need? And how can I get ideas for more
evidence? See our handout on brainstorming.
Who can help me find evidence on my topic? Check out UNC Libraries.
I’m writing for a specific purpose; how can I tell what kind of evidence my audience wants? See our handouts on audience,
writing for specific disciplines, and particular writing assignments.
How should I read materials to gather evidence? See our handout on reading to write.
How can I make a good argument? Check out our handouts on argument and thesis statements.
How do I tell if my paragraphs and my paper are well-organized? Review our handouts on paragraph development,
transitions, and reorganizing drafts.
How do I quote my sources and incorporate those quotes into my text? Our handouts on quotations and avoiding
plagiarismoffer useful tips.
How do I cite my evidence? See the UNC Libraries citation tutorial.
I think that I’m giving evidence, but my instructor says I’m using too much summary. How can I tell? Check out our handout on
using summary wisely.

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 I want to use personal experience as evidence, but can I say “I”? We have a handout on when to use “I.”

WORKS CONSULTED
We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the
handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this
list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on
formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial.
Lunsford, Andrea A., and John J. Ruszkiewicz, John J. Everything’s an argument. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 1999
Miller, Richard E., and Kurt Spellmeyer. The New Humanities Reader Home Page. 22 Feb. 2005
http://www.newhum.com/for_students/t...ama/index.html.
http://www.lib.umd.edu/UES/library_guides_subject.html

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2.2: Quoting, Paraphrasing, and Avoiding Plagiarism
How to Summarize: An Overview
How to Quote and Paraphrase: An Overview
When to Quote, When to Paraphrase
Four Examples of Quotes and Paraphrases
How to Avoid Plagiarism in the Research Process
Plagiarism and the Internet
Learning how to effectively quote and paraphrase research can be difficult and it certainly takes practice. Hopefully, your abilities
to make good use of your research will improve as you work through the exercises in part two and three of The Process of Research
Writing, not to mention as you take on other research writing experiences beyond this class. The goal of this chapter is to introduce
some basic strategies for summarizing, quoting and paraphrasing research in your writing and to explain how to avoid plagiarizing
your research.

How to Summarize: An Overview

A summary is a brief explanation of a longer text. Some summaries, such as the ones that accompany annotated bibliographies, are
very short, just a sentence or two. Others are much longer, though summaries are always much shorter than the text being
summarized in the first place.
Summaries of different lengths are useful in research writing because you often need to provide your readers with an explanation of
the text you are discussing. This is especially true when you are going to quote or paraphrase from a source.
Of course, the first step in writing a good summary is to do a thorough reading of the text you are going to summarize in the first
place. Beyond that important start, there are a few basic guidelines you should follow when you write summary material:
Stay “neutral” in your summarizing. Summaries provide “just the facts” and are not the place where you offer your opinions
about the text you are summarizing. Save your opinions and evaluation of the evidence you are summarizing for other parts of
your writing.
Don’t quote from what you are summarizing. Summaries will be more useful to you and your colleagues if you write them in
your own words.
Don’t “cut and paste” from database abstracts. Many of the periodical indexes that are available as part of your library’s
computer system include abstracts of articles. Do no “cut” this abstract material and then “paste” it into your own annotated
bibliography. For one thing, this is plagiarism. Second, “cutting and pasting” from the abstract defeats one of the purposes of
writing summaries and creating an annotated bibliography in the first place, which is to help you understand and explain your
research.

How to Quote and Paraphrase: An Overview

Writers quote and paraphrase from research in order to support their points and to persuade their readers. A quote or a paraphrase
from a piece of evidence in support of a point answers the reader’s question, “says who?”
This is especially true in academic writing since scholarly readers are most persuaded by effective research and evidence. For
example, readers of an article about a new cancer medication published in a medical journal will be most interested in the scholar’s
research and statistics that demonstrate the effectiveness of the treatment. Conversely, they will not be as persuaded by emotional
stories from individual patients about how a new cancer medication improved the quality of their lives. While this appeal to
emotion can be effective and is common in popular sources, these individual anecdotes do not carry the same sort of “scholarly” or
scientific value as well-reasoned research and evidence.
Of course, your instructor is not expecting you to be an expert on the topic of your research paper. While you might conduct some
primary research, it’s a good bet that you’ll be relying on secondary sources such as books, articles, and Web sites to inform and
persuade your readers. You’ll present this research to your readers in the form of quotes and paraphrases.
A “quote” is a direct restatement of the exact words from the original source. The general rule of thumb is any time you use three
or more words as they appeared in the original source, you should treat it as a quote. A “paraphrase” is a restatement of the
information or point of the original source in your own words.

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While quotes and paraphrases are different and should be used in different ways in your research writing (as the examples in this
section suggest), they do have a number of things in common. Both quotes and paraphrases should:
be “introduced” to the reader, particularly the first time you mention a source;
include an explanation of the evidence which explains to the reader why you think the evidence is important, especially if it is
not apparent from the context of the quote or paraphrase; and
include a proper citation of the source.
The method you should follow to properly quote or paraphrase depends on the style guide you are following in your academic
writing. The two most common style guides used in academic writing are the Modern Language Association (MLA), and the
American Psychological Association (APA). I discuss both of these different style guides in some detail in the Appendix of this
book. Your instructor will probably assign one of these styles before you begin working on your project, however, if he/she doesn’t
mention this, be sure to ask.

When to Quote, When to Paraphrase

The real “art” to research writing is using quotes and paraphrases from evidence effectively in order to support your point. There
are certain “rules,” dictated by the rules of style you are following, such as the ones presented by the MLA or the ones presented by
the APA. There are certain “guidelines” and suggestions, like the ones I offer in the previous section and the ones you will learn
from your teacher and colleagues.
But when all is said and done, the question of when to quote and when to paraphrase depends a great deal on the specific context of
the writing and the effect you are trying to achieve. Learning the best times to quote and paraphrase takes practice and experience.
In general, it is best to use a quote when:
The exact words of your source are important for the point you are trying to make. This is especially true if you are
quoting technical language, terms, or very specific word choices.
You want to highlight your agreement with the author’s words. If you agree with the point the author of the evidence makes
and you like their exact words, use them as a quote.
You want to highlight your disagreement with the author’s words. In other words, you may sometimes want to use a direct
quote to indicate exactly what it is you disagree about. This might be particularly true when you are considering the antithetical
positions in your research writing projects.
In general, it is best to paraphrase when:
There is no good reason to use a quote to refer to your evidence. If the author’s exact words are not especially important to
the point you are trying to make, you are usually better off paraphrasing the evidence.
You are trying to explain a particular a piece of evidence in order to explain or interpret it in more detail. This might be
particularly true in writing projects like critiques.
You need to balance a direct quote in your writing. You need to be careful about directly quoting your research too much
because it can sometimes make for awkward and difficult to read prose. So, one of the reasons to use a paraphrase instead of a
quote is to create balance within your writing.

Tips for Quoting and Paraphrasing

Introduce your quotes and paraphrases to your reader, especially on first reference.
Explain the significance of the quote or paraphrase to your reader.
Cite your quote or paraphrase properly according to the rules of style you are following in your essay.
Quote when the exact words are important, when you want to highlight your agreement or your disagreement.
Paraphrase when the exact words aren’t important, when you want to explain the point of your evidence, or when you need to
balance the direct quotes in your writing.

Four Examples of Quotes and Paraphrases

Here are four examples of what I mean about properly quoting and paraphrasing evidence in your research essays. In each case, I
begin with a BAD example, or the way NOT to quote or paraphrase.

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Quoting in MLA Style
Here’s the first BAD example, where the writer is trying to follow the rules of MLA style:
There are many positive effects for advertising prescription drugs on television. “African-American physicians regard direct-to-
consumer advertising of prescription medicines as one way to educate minority patients about needed treatment and healthcare
options” (Wechsler, Internet).
This is a potentially good piece of information to support a research writer’s claim, but the researcher hasn’t done any of the
necessary work to explain where this quote comes from or to explain why it is important for supporting her point. Rather, she has
simply “dropped in” the quote, leaving the interpretation of its significance up to the reader.
Now consider this revised GOOD (or at least BETTER) example of how this quote might be better introduced into the essay:
In her Pharmaceutical Executive article available through the Wilson Select Internet database, Jill Wechsler writes about one of the
positive effects of advertising prescription drugs on television. “African-American physicians regard direct-to-consumer
advertising of prescription medicines as one way to educate minority patients about needed treatment and healthcare options.”
In this revision, it’s much more clear what point the writer is trying to make with this evidence and where this evidence comes
from.
In this particular example, the passage is from a traditional print journal called Pharmaceutical Executive. However, the writer
needs to indicate that she actually found and read this article through Wilson Select, an Internet database which reproduces the “full
text” of articles from periodicals without any graphics, charts, or page numbers.
When you use a direct quote in your research, you need to the indicate page number of that direct quote or you need to indicate that
the evidence has no specific page numbers. While it can be a bit awkward to indicate within the text how the writer found this
information if it’s from the Internet, it’s important to do so on the first reference of a piece of evidence in your writing. On
references to this piece of evidence after the first reference, you can use just the last name of the writer. For example:
Wechsler also reports on the positive effects of advertising prescription drugs on television. She writes…

Paraphrasing in MLA Style

In this example, the writer is using MLA style to write a research essay for a Literature class. Here is a BAD example of a
paraphrase:
While Gatsby is deeply in love with Daisy in The Great Gatsby, his love for her is indistinguishable from his love of his
possessions (Callahan).
There are two problems with this paraphrase. First, if this is the first or only reference to this particular piece of evidence in the
research essay, the writer should include more information about the source of this paraphrase in order to properly introduce it.
Second, this paraphrase is actually not of the entire article but rather of a specific passage. The writer has neglected to note the page
number within the parenthetical citation.
A GOOD or at least BETTER revision of this paraphrase might look like this:
John F. Callahan suggests in his article “F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Evolving American Dream” that while Gatsby is deeply in love with
Daisy in The Great Gatsby, his love for her is indistinguishable from his love of his possessions (381).
By incorporating the name of the author of the evidence the research writer is referring to here, the source of this paraphrase is now
clear to the reader. Furthermore, because there is a page number at the end of this sentence, the reader understands that this passage
is a paraphrase of a particular part of Callahan’s essay and not a summary of the entire essay. Again, if the research writer had
introduced this source to his readers earlier, he could have started with a phrase like “Callahan suggests…” and then continued on
with his paraphrase.
If the research writer were offering a brief summary of the entire essay following MLA style, he wouldn’t include a page number in
parentheses. For example:
John F. Callahan’s article “F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Evolving American Dream” examines Fitzgerald’s fascination with the elusiveness
of the American Dream in the novels The Great Gatsby, Tender is the Night, and The Last Tycoon.

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Quoting in APA Style
Consider this BAD example in APA style, of what NOT to do when quoting evidence:
“If the U.S. scallop fishery were a business, its management would surely be fired, because its revenues could readily be increased
by at least 50 percent while its costs were being reduced by an equal percentage.” (Repetto, 2001, p. 84).
Again, this is a potentially valuable piece of evidence, but it simply isn’t clear what point the research writer is trying to make with
it. Further, it doesn’t follow the preferred method of citation with APA style.
Here is a revision that is a GOOD or at least BETTER example:
Repetto (2001) concludes that in the case of the scallop industry, those running the industry should be held responsible for not
considering methods that would curtail the problems of over-fishing. “If the U.S. scallop fishery were a business, its management
would surely be fired, because its revenues could readily be increased by at least 50 percent while its costs were being reduced by
an equal percentage” (p. 84).
This revision is improved because the research writer has introduced and explained the point of the evidence with the addition of a
clarifying sentence. It also follows the rules of APA style. Generally, APA style prefers that the research writer refer to the author
only by last name followed immediately by the year of publication. Whenever possible, you should begin your citation with the
author’s last name and the year of publication, and, in the case of a direct quote like this passage, the page number (including the
“p.”) in parentheses at the end.

Paraphrasing in APA Style

Paraphrasing in APA style is slightly different from MLA style as well. Consider first this BAD example of what NOT to do in
paraphrasing from a source in APA style:
Computer criminals have lots of ways to get away with credit card fraud (Cameron, 2002).
The main problem with this paraphrase is there isn’t enough here to adequately explain to the reader what the point of the evidence
really is. Remember: your readers have no way of automatically knowing why you as a research writer think that a particular piece
of evidence is useful in supporting your point. This is why it is key that you introduce and explain your evidence.
Here is a revision that is GOOD or at least BETTER:
Cameron (2002) points out that computer criminals intent on committing credit card fraud are able to take advantage of the fact that
there aren’t enough officials working to enforce computer crimes. Criminals are also able to use the technology to their advantage
by communicating via email and chat rooms with other criminals.
Again, this revision is better because the additional information introduces and explains the point of the evidence. In this particular
example, the author’s name is also incorporated into the explanation of the evidence as well. In APA, it is preferable to weave in
the author’s name into your essay, usually at the beginning of a sentence. However, it would also have been acceptable to end an
improved paraphrase with just the author’s last name and the date of publication in parentheses.

How to Avoid Plagiarism in the Research Process

Plagiarism is the unauthorized or uncredited use of the writings or ideas of another in your writing. While it might not be as
tangible as auto theft or burglary, plagiarism is still a form of theft.
In the academic world, plagiarism is a serious matter because ideas in the forms of research, creative work, and original thought are
highly valued. Chances are, your school has strict rules about what happens when someone is caught plagiarizing. The penalty for
plagiarism is severe, everything from a failing grade for the plagiarized work, a failing grade for the class, or expulsion from the
institution.
You might not be aware that plagiarism can take several different forms. The most well known, purposeful plagiarism, is handing
in an essay written by someone else and representing it as your own, copying your essay word for word from a magazine or
journal, or downloading an essay from the Internet.
A much more common and less understood phenomenon is what I call accidental plagiarism. Accidental plagiarism is the result
of improperly paraphrasing, summarizing, quoting, or citing your evidence in your academic writing. Generally, writers
accidentally plagiarize because they simply don’t know or they fail to follow the rules for giving credit to the ideas of others in
their writing.

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Both purposeful and accidental plagiarism are wrong, against the rules, and can result in harsh punishments. Ignoring or not
knowing the rules of how to not plagiarize and properly cite evidence might be an explanation, but it is not an excuse.
To exemplify what I’m getting at, consider the examples below that use quotations and paraphrases from this brief passage:
Those who denounce cyberculture today strangely resemble those who criticized rock music during the fifties and sixties. Rock
started out as an Anglo-American phenomenon and has become an industry. Nonetheless, it was able to capture the hopes of young
people around the world and provided enjoyment to those of us who listened to or played rock. Sixties pop was the conscience of
one or two generations that helped bring the war in Vietnam to a close. Obviously, neither rock nor pop has solved global poverty
or hunger. But is this a reason to be “against” them? (ix).
And just to make it clear that I’m not plagiarizing this passage, here is the citation in MLA style:
Lévy, Pierre. Cyberculture. Trans. Robert Bononno. Minneapolis: U of Minnesota P, 2001.
Here’s an obvious example of plagiarism:
Those who denounce cyberculture today strangely resemble those who criticized rock music during the fifties and sixties.
In this case, the writer has literally taken one of Lévy’s sentences and represented it as her own. That’s clearly against the rules.
Here’s another example of plagiarism, perhaps less obvious:
The same kind of people who criticize cyberculture are the same kind of people who criticized rock and roll music back in the
fifties and sixties. But both cyberculture and rock music inspire and entertain young people.
While these aren’t Lévy’s exact words, they are certainly close enough to constitute a form of plagiarism. And again, even though
you might think that this is a “lesser” form of plagiarism, it’s still plagiarism.
Both of these passages can easily be corrected to make them acceptable quotations or paraphrases.
In the introduction of his book Cyberculture, Pierre Lévy observes that “Those who denounce cyberculture today strangely
resemble those who criticized rock music during the fifties and sixties” (ix).
Pierre Lévy suggests that the same kind of people who criticize cyberculture are the same kind of people who criticized rock and
roll music back in the fifties and sixties. But both cyberculture and rock music inspire and entertain young people (ix).
Note that changing these passages from examples of plagiarism to acceptable examples of a quotation and a paraphrase is
extremely easy: properly cite your sources.
This leads to the “golden rule” of avoiding plagiarism:

Always cite your sources. If you are unsure as to whether you should or should not cite a
particular claim or reference, you should probably cite your source.
Often, students are unclear as to whether or not they need to cite a piece of evidence because they believe it to be “common
knowledge” or because they are not sure about the source of information. When in doubt about whether or not to cite evidence in
order to give credit to a source (“common knowledge” or not), you should cite the evidence.

Plagiarism and the Internet

Sometimes, I think the ease of finding and retrieving information on the World Wide Web makes readers think that this information
does not need to be cited. After all, it isn’t a traditional source like a book or a journal; it is available for “free.” All a research
writer needs to do with a web site is “cut and paste” whatever he needs into his essay, right? Wrong!
You need to cite the evidence you find from the Internet or the World Wide Web the same way you cite evidence from other
sources. To not do this is plagiarism, or, more bluntly, cheating. Just because the information is “freely” available on the Internet
does not mean you can use this information in your academic writing without properly citing it, much in the same way that the
information from library journals and books “freely” available to you needs to be cited in order to give credit where credit is due.
It is also not acceptable to simply download graphics from the World Wide Web. Images found on the Internet are protected by
copyright laws. Quite literally, taking images from the Web (particularly from commercial sources) is an offense that could lead to
legal action. There are places where you can find graphics and clip art that Web publishers have made publicly available for anyone
to use, but be sure that the Web site where you find the graphics makes this explicit before you take graphics as your own.

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In short, you can use evidence from the Web as long as you don’t plagiarize and as long as you properly cite it; don’t take graphics
from the Web unless you know the images are in the public domain.

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2.3: How to Write a Summary
Proficient students understand that summarizing, identifying what is most important and restating the text (or other media) in your
own words, is an important tool for college success.
After all, if you really know a subject, you will be able to summarize it. If you cannot summarize a subject, even if you have
memorized all the facts about it, you can be absolutely sure that you have not learned it. And, if you truly learn the subject, you will
still be able to summarize it months or years from now.
Proficient students may monitor their understanding of a text by summarizing as they read. They understand that if they can write a
one- or two-sentence summary of each paragraph after reading it, then that is a good sign that they have correctly understood it. If
they can not summarize the main idea of the paragraph, they know that comprehension has broken down and they need to use fix-
up strategies to repair understanding.

Summary Writing Format

When writing a summary, remember that it should be in the form of a paragraph.
A summary begins with an introductory sentence that states the text’s title, author and main point of the text as you see it.
A summary is written in your own words.
A summary contains only the ideas of the original text. Do not insert any of your own opinions, interpretations, deductions or
comments into a summary.
Identify in order the significant sub-claims the author uses to defend the main point.
Copy word-for-word three separate passages from the essay that you think support and/or defend the main point of the essay as
you see it.
Cite each passage by first signaling the work and the author, put “quotation marks” around the passage you chose, and put the
number of the paragraph where the passages can be found immediately after the passage.
Using source material from the essay is important. Why? Because defending claims with source material is what you will be
asked to do when writing papers for your college professors.
Write a last sentence that “wraps” up your summary; often a simple rephrasing of the main point.

Example Summary Writing Format

In the essay Santa Ana, author Joan Didion’s main point is (state main point). According to Didion “…passage 1…” (para.3).
Didion also writes “…passage 2…” (para.8). Finally, she states “…passage 3…” (para. 12) Write a last sentence that “wraps” up
your summary; often a simple rephrasing of the main point.

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2.4: How to Write a Summary by Paraphrasing Source Material
When you paraphrase material from a source, you restate the information from an entire sentence or passage in your own words,
using your own original sentence structure. A paraphrased source differs from a summarized source in that you focus on restating
the ideas, not condensing them.
It is important to check your paraphrase against the source material to make sure it is both accurate and original. Inexperienced
writers sometimes use the thesaurus method of paraphrasing—that is, they simply rewrite the source material, replacing most of the
words with synonyms. This constitutes a misuse of sources. A true paraphrase restates ideas using the writer’s own language and
style.
Review the videos below about developing paraphrasing skills with writing:
Instruction on how to paraphrase:

English Writing - Paraphrasing

How to avoid plagiarism when paraphrasing a text:

Stop, Thief! Avoiding Plagiarism by Para…

Para…

Paraphrase Writing Format

REMEMBER: IN THIS ASSIGNMENT, YOU SHOULD PARAPHRASE THE “WORD FOR WORD” PASSAGES
THAT YOU CHOOSE. Follow the instructions below:
Write a Summary the way you always have, i.e., selecting “word-for-word” passages from the essay included in this module.
Cite the page numbers in parentheses as you have up to now.
Make a copy of your summary and place it below the original. Go into the copy of your summary and try to paraphrase each
“word-for-word” passage that you cited.
When writing a summary, remember that it should be in the form of a paragraph.
A summary begins with an introductory sentence that states the text’s title, author and main point of the text as you see it.
A summary is written in your own words.

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 A summary contains only the ideas of the original text. Do not insert any of your own opinions, interpretations, deductions or
comments into a summary.
Identify in order the significant sub-claims the author uses to defend the main point.
Using source material from the essay is important. Why? Because defending claims with source material is what you will be
asked to do when writing papers for your college professors.
Write a last sentence that “wraps” up your summary; often a simple rephrasing of the main point.

Example Paraphrase Writing Format

In the essay Santa Ana, author Joan Didion’s main point is (state main point). According to Didion …PARAPHRASE 1…”. Didion
also CLAIMS… PARAPHRASE 2…”. Finally, she CLAIMS “…PARAPHRASE 3…” Write a last sentence that “wraps” up your
summary; often a simple rephrasing of the main point.

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and/or curated by Lumen Learning via source content that was edited to the style and standards of the LibreTexts platform; a detailed edit history
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2.5: How to Write an Annotation
One of the greatest challenges students face is adjusting to college reading expectations. Unlike high school, students in college are
expected to read more “academic” type of materials in less time and usually recall the information as soon as the next class.
The problem is many students spend hours reading and have no idea what they just read. Their eyes are moving across the page,
but their mind is somewhere else. The end result is wasted time, energy, and frustration…and having to read the text again.
Although students are taught how to read at an early age, many are not taught how to actively engage with written text or other
media. Annotation is a tool to help you learn how to actively engage with a text or other media.
View the following video about how to annotate a text.

Annotating a text

Annotating a text or other media (e.g. a video, image, etc.) is as much about you as it is the text you are annotating. What are
YOUR responses to the author’s writing, claims and ideas? What are YOU thinking as you consider the work? Ask questions,
challenge, think!
When we annotate an author’s work, our minds should encounter the mind of the author, openly and freely. If you met the author at
a party, what would you like to tell to them; what would you like to ask them? What do you think they would say in response to
your comments? You can be critical of the text, but you do not have to be. If you are annotating properly, you often begin to get
ideas that have little or even nothing to do with the topic you are annotating. That’s fine: it’s all about generating insights and ideas
of your own. Any good insight is worth keeping because it may make for a good essay or research paper later on.

The Secret is in the Pen

One of the ways proficient readers read is with a pen in hand. They know their purpose is to keep their attention on the material by:
Predicting what the material will be about
Questioning the material to further understanding
Determining what’s important
Identifying key vocabulary
Summarizing the material in their own words, and
Monitoring their comprehension (understanding) during and after engaging with the material
The same applies for mindfully viewing a film, video, image or other media.

Annotating a Text
Review the video, “How to Annotate a Text.” Pay attention to both how to make annotations and what types of thoughts and ideas
may be part of your annotations as you actively read a written text.

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 How to Annotate A Text

Example Assignment Format: Annotating a Written Text

For the annotation of reading assignments in this class, you will cite and comment on a minimum of FIVE (5) phrases, sentences or
passages from notes you take on the selected readings.
Here is an example format for an assignment to annotate a written text:

Passage # Quotation and Location My Comments / Ideas

1 Direct quote (paragraph #) Add your comments here

2 Direct quote (paragraph #) Add your comments here

3 Direct quote (paragraph #) Add your comments here

4 Direct quote (paragraph #) Add your comments here

5 Direct quote (paragraph #) Add your comments here

Example Assignment Format: Annotating Media

In addition to annotating written text, at times you will have assignments to annotate media (e.g., videos, images or other media).
For the annotation of media assignments in this class, you will cite and comment on a minimum of THREE (3) statements, facts,
examples, research or any combination of those from the notes you take about selected media.
Here is an example format for an assignment to annotate media:

Passage # Describe Passage My Comments / Ideas

1 Passage Description Add your comments here

2 Passage Description Add your comments here

3 Passage Description Add your comments here

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2.6: MLA Format

MLA Style Essay Format - Word Tutorial

Formatting the Works Cited Page (MLA)

Whenever you incorporate outside sources into your own writing, you must provide both in-text citations (within the body of the
paper) and full citations (in the works cited page). The in-text citations point your reader toward the full citations in the works cited
page.
That’s why the first bit of information in your in-text citation (generally, the author’s name; if no name is provided, the title of the
article/book/webpage) should directly match up with the beginning of your works cited entry for that source. For further
information about in-text citations, please read “Formatting In-Text Citations.”
For example, let’s say I have a quote from Benedict Anderson’s
Imagined Communities in my research paper. Within the body of the paper, following the quote, I include the following in-text
citation: (Anderson 56). This information points to the book’s entry in my works cited page:
Anderson, Benedict.
Imagined Communities: Reflections on the Origin and Spread of Nationalism. London: Verso, 2006. Print.
Read more…

Formatting In-text Citations (MLA)

How might you format your in-text citations so that they’re more compliant with MLA guidelines?
You already know why MLA formatting guidelines are an important part of an academic paper, but let’s face it—who can
remember all those rules about when and where certain citation information is requisite and when and where particular punctuation
is appropriate? Thankfully, memorizing all of MLA’s formatting guidelines is not necessary! MLA style guides can be found easily
online or in texts like
The MLA Handbook, and writers can refer to these resources when they are unclear about a particular MLA style guideline.
Nonetheless, as you create multiple drafts of your composition papers, there are some MLA conventions that you will need to call
on time and time again. In particular, as you integrate source material masterfully into your work, you will be required to call on
proper in-text citation guidelines repeatedly. It is therefore important that you take the time to memorize the MLA guidelines for in-
text citations.
Read more…

MLA Checklist
Is the heading in the upper left-hand corner of the first page?
Does the heading include:
Your name?
Your instructor’s name?

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 The course name?
The date?
Does the paper have an original title (other than something like “Final Paper”)?
Is the title presented without being bolded, italicized, or placed in quotation marks
Read more…

MLA Template
Read more…

Exercise: In-text Citations (MLA)

Look at the sentences below, each of which contains an incorrectly formatted in-text citation. Specify the error made in each
sentence; then, write a new sentence in which the in-text citation is correctly formatted.
1. The parlor metaphor of writing describes writing as entering into a conversation, as in arriving late and a parlor and talking to
guests who have been there long before you have (7).
2. In “Argument as Emergence, Rhetoric as Love,” Jim Corder explains that “Everyone is an argument.” (1)
3. David Sedaris’s
Me Talk Pretty One Day takes place at a school in Paris (Sedaris 1).
Read more…

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2.7: Formatting the Works Cited Page (MLA)
Whenever you incorporate outside sources into your own writing, you must provide both in-text citations (within the body of the
paper) and full citations (in the works cited page). The in-text citations point your reader toward the full citations in the works cited
page.
That’s why the first bit of information in your in-text citation (generally, the author’s name; if no name is provided, the title of the
article/book/webpage) should directly match up with the beginning of your works cited entry for that source.
For example, let’s say I have a quote from Benedict Anderson’s Imagined Communities in my research paper. Within the body of
the paper, following the quote, I include the following in-text citation: (Anderson 56). This information points to the book’s entry in
my works cited page:
Anderson, Benedict. Imagined Communities: Reflections on the Origin and Spread of Nationalism. London: Verso, 2006. Print.
When your reader sees the in-text citation in your essay, she may decide that the source might be valuable for her own research.
When she looks at the works cited page, she can easily locate the source (because the works cited page is alphabetized and because
she has the in-text citation as her referent) and then can use the full citation to retrieve a copy of the source for her own research.
But aside from providing the reader with resources for her own research, the works cited page serves another function: it
establishes the writer’s credibility. If a writer fails to include in-text citations and/or a work's cited page, that writer has plagiarized
because he or she has neglected to provide the publication information of the source. In addition, when a reader locates
undocumented information in an essay, she will likely think that the information was made up by the writer or that the information
was stolen from a source, or plagiarized. And when a reader peruses a writer’s works cited page, she can see the types of sources
used by the writer, assessing those sources in terms of their credibility. For instance, if a reader reads my works cited page and sees
I cite sources from university presses such as Oxford UP and Cambridge UP, she will know that I’ve incorporated credible sources
into my research paper. Thus, including both in-text citations and a work's cited page in a research paper provides the writer with
ethos, or credibility.
Now let’s take a look at how to properly format a works cited page according to MLA guidelines:

Yirinec 38
Works Cited
Anderson, Benedict. Imagined Communities: Reflections on the Origin and Spread of Nationalism. London: Verso, 2006. Print.
Boucicault, Dion. “Jessie Brown; or, The Relief of Lucknow.” Plays by Dion Boucicault. Ed Peter Thompson. Cambridge:
Cambridge UP, 1984. Print.
Bratlinger, Patrick. Rule of Darkness: British Literature and Imperialism, 1830–1914. Ithaca: Cornell UP, 1988. Print.
Carens, Timothy. Outlandish English Subjects in the Victorian Domestic Novel. Cambridge: Palgrave, 2005. Print.
Collins, Wilkie. The Moonstone. Mineola, NY: Dover, 2002. Print.
Darwin, Charles. The Voyage of the Beagle. New York: Modern Library, 2001. Print.
Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan. The Sign of the Four. London: Aziloth Books, 2010. Print.
Haggard, H. Rider. She. Breinigsville, PA: Dodo, 2011. Print.
Herbert, Christopher. War of No Pity: The Indian Mutiny and Victorian Trauma. Princeton: Princeton UP, 2008. Print.

Placement
According to MLA guidelines, the works cited page should appear after the body of your paper and any accompanying endnotes. It
should begin on a new page, and the pagination should continue from the body of the paper. In the above example, the works cited
page begins on page 38, which means that the essay concluded on page 37.

General Format
The works cited page should be double-spaced throughout. The first line of each entry should be flush with the left margin; if the
entry extends more than one line, ensuing lines should be indented 1/2 inch from the left margin. The first page of the works cited

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list should have the title “Works Cited,” not “Bibliography.” The works cited title should appear in the same manner as the paper’s
title: capitalized and centered—not bolded, within quotation marks, italicized, underlined, or in a larger font.

Entries
The entries should be alphabetized based on the author’s last name. According to MLA guidelines, author names come first in an
entry, then titles, then the publication information (city of publication, publisher, and date of publication), and then the type of
media—the details for different types of sources vary, but this is the general structure followed. Note that if the city is not “well-
known” and there is more than one city with that name, unlike New York and London, then the state or territory should be included
after the city, e.g., “Roswell, GA: 2006.” If no name is provided for a given source, the title of the work/webpage will take the
place of the author’s last name and should still be placed in its proper alphabetical location. Also note that “university” and “press”
are always abbreviated “U” and “P” in works cited entries.
Here are some guidelines for commonly used sources:

Single-Authored Book
Last Name, First Name. Title of Book. Place of Publication: Publisher, Date of Publication. Type of media.

 Example 2.7.1:

Bratlinger, Patrick. Rule of Darkness: British Literature and Imperialism, 1830–1914. Ithaca: Cornell UP, 1988. Print.

Book with Multiple Authors

Last Name, First Name (of first author listed), and First Name Last Name (of second author, etc.).
Title of Book. Place of Publication: Publisher, Date of Publication. Type of media.

 Example 2.7.2:

Sabherhagen, Fred, and James V. Hart. Bram Stoker’s Dracula: A Francis Ford Coppola Film. New York: Signet, 1992. Print.

Article or Chapter in an Edited Collection (or Textbook)

Last Name, First Name. “Article Title.” Title of Book. Ed. First Name Last Name (of Editor). Place of Publication: Publisher, Date
of Publication. Page Range of Article. Type of Media.

 Example 2.7.3:

Vieregge, Quentin. “Writing as Process.” Negotiating Writing Spaces. Ed. Jennifer Yirinec and Lauren Cutlip. Plymouth, MI:
Hayden-McNeil, 2011. 57–59. Print.

Article in a Print Journal

Last Name, First Name. “Article Title.” Title of Journal. Volume #.Issue # (Date of publication): Page Range of Article. Print.

 Example 2.7.4:
Rogers, Pat. “Crusoe’s Home.” Essays in Criticism 24.4 (Oct. 1974): 375–90. Print.

Journal Article Accessed Using an Electronic Database

Last Name, First Name. “Article Title.” Journal Name Volume #.Issue # (Date of publication): Page Range of Article. Database.
Web. Date of Access.

 Example 2.7.5:

Lamont, Rose C. “Coma versus Comma: John Donne’s Holy Sonnets in Edson’s WIT.” The Massachusetts Review 40.4
(Winter 1999–2000): 569–75. JSTOR. Web. 30 April 2012.

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Article Accessed from an Online Journal
Last Name, First Name. “Article Title.” Journal Name Volume #.Issue # (Date of publication): n.pag. Web. Date of Access.

 Example 2.7.6:

Haynsworth, Leslie. “All the Detective’s Men: Binary Coding of Masculine Identity in the Sherlock Holmes Stories.”
Victorians Institute Journal 38 (2010): n.pag. Web. 16 May 2012.

Article from a Webpage

Last Name, First Name (if given). “Title of Webpage.” Website Title. Publisher of website (often found at the bottom of the page),
date of last update. Web. Date of Access. See (URL is only necessary if you think your reader won’t easily be able to locate the
webpage).

 Example 2.7.7:

“Opening Night: Wit Starring Cynthia Nixon.” Broadway.com. Broadway.com, Inc., 2012. Web. 12 Feb. 2012.

Entire Website
Website Title. Publisher of website, date of last update. Date of Access. See (URL is only necessary if you think your reader won’t
easily be able to locate the webpage).

 Example 2.7.8:

Broadway.com. Broadway.com, Inc., 2012. Web. 12 Feb. 2012.

For information about how to format the works cited entries for different sources, consult The MLA Handbook for Writers of
Research Papers (7th edition). Or, consult the
Purdue OWL.

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2.8: Citing Paraphrases and Summaries (APA)
How should a paraphrased passage be cited?
When paraphrasing a passage, it is essential to express the ideas of the author in your own original words; however, the author’s
message and meaning should always be preserved.
Charges of plagiarism can be avoided by including the proper citation of the work you are drawing from in your paraphrase. The
APA requires a paraphrase to include the author’s last name and the work’s year of publication, but also suggests that the page
number of the original text be included.

Let’s look at an example of a cited paraphrase:

Original text: “A yellow flower is yellow because it reflects yellow light and absorbs other wavelengths. The red glass of a stained
glass window is red because it transmits red light and absorbs other wavelengths. The process by which we perceive the colours of
natural objects around us can therefore be described as a ‘subtractive’ process” (Pender, 1998, p. 14). [1]
Paraphrase: Pender explains that through subtractive process, humans see the color of objects based on the wavelengths of light
that are absorbed by each object (Pender, 1998, p. 14). [1]

 Note

The paraphrase maintains the ideas of the original passage while expressing the message in a new voice. The original author is
also cited properly.

How should a summarized passage or work be cited?

When summarizing a passage or work from another writer, briefly outline in your own original words the major ideas presented in
the source material. As brevity is the key feature of a summary, it is essential to express the main concepts of the original passage
in as concise a manner as possible. Consider using a summary—rather than a short or block quotation—when preserving the
original wording of the source material is not necessary for the reader to understand the ideas under discussion.

Let’s look at an example of a cited summary:

Original text: “In their everyday life, people generally assume that they see the world around them the way it really is. When
camping in Colorado, hikers believe they see the horizon as dotted with snow-covered mountaintops. When laying on the beach in
North Carolina, sunbathers believe they see pelicans flying above the breaking waves. And these people would nearly always be
right. Indeed, it is difficult to imagine notbelieving that the sights and sounds delivered to conscious awareness by perceptual
systems are accurate renderings of the outside world. It would be difficult to know how to act if one could not trust one’s senses to
accurately report what the world outside is like” (Balcetis, 2010, p. 77). [2]
Summary: In Social Psychology of Visual Perception, Balcetis (2010) argues that because humans rely on the sensory information
received from their body, they form preconceived beliefs about their surroundings that manifest as imaginary visual occurrences (p.
77). [2]

 Note

The summary maintains the ideas of the original passage while concisely expressing its main concepts. The original author is
also cited properly.

How should multiple sources be cited in a single parenthetical reference?

If multiple works need to be cited in the same set of parentheses, simply arrange them in alphabetical order by the author’s last
names, or the order in which they would be listed in the References page. Use a semicolon to separate each work from the next one.

Let’s look at an example of multiple authors being cited:

In the past thirty years, Parkinson’s disease has been written about extensively by recognized figures in the field (Dorros, 1989;
Duvoisin, 1991; Hauser & Zesiewicz, 1996). [3][4][5]

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  Note

This example includes the in-text citations of three works arranged in alphabetical order by authors’ names, separated by semi-
colons, and enclosed in parentheses.

See also:
Formatting In-text Citations (APA)

References
[1] Pender, K. (1998). Digital colour in graphic design. Burlington, VT: Elsevier Science & Technology.
[2] Balcetis, E. (2010). Social psychology of visual perception. Hoboken, NJ: Taylor & Francis.
[3] Dorros, S. (1989). Parkinson’s: A patient’s view. Cabin John, MD: Seven Locks Press.
[4] Duvoisin, R. C. (1991). Parkinson’s disease: A guide for patient and family. New York, NY: Raven Press.
[5] Hauser, R. A., & Zesiewicz, T. A. (1996). Parkinson’s disease: Questions and answers. Coral Springs, FL: Merit.

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2.9: APA Citation Style, 6th edition- General Style Guidelines
General Guidelines for Writing a Paper: APA Style
All sources of information and data, whether quoted directly or paraphrased, are cited with parenthetical references in the text
of your paper (p. 170).

 Example 2.9.1:
(Walker, 2003).

Double-space your entire paper, including the References list and any block quotes (pp.171, 180).

Citations In Text
How to Cite a Direct Quote (pp.170-171)
When you incorporate a direct quotation into a sentence, you must cite the source. Fit quotations within your sentences, enclosed in
quotation marks, making sure the sentences are grammatically correct.
Gibaldi (2003, p. 109) indicates that, “Quotations are effective in research papers when used selectively.”
Remember that “[q]uotations are effective in research papers when used selectively” (Gibaldi, 2003, p. 109).
In 2003, Gibaldi wrote that, “Quotations are effective in research papers when used selectively” (p. 109).
If a quotation is 40 words or more, omit quotation marks and use a block format in which the quotation is indented about ½ inch
(or 5 spaces) from the left margin.

How to Cite Summaries or Paraphrases

Even if you put information in your own words by summarizing or paraphrasing, you must cite the original author or researcher
and the date of publication. You are also encouraged to provide a page or paragraph number; check with your instructor to see if
page numbers are required.
For example, a paraphrase of Gibaldi’s earlier quotation might be identified as follows:
Within the research paper, quotations will have more impact when used judiciously (Gibaldi, 2003, p. 109).
You may want to check out The Owl at Purdue for more tips on paraphrasing.

How to Cite Sources when the Primary Authors have the same Surname (p.176)
If two or more of your sources are written by authors with the same surname, include the first author’s initials with the surname in
every in-text reference.

 Example 2.9.2:

Among studies, we review M. A. Light and Light (2008) and I. Light (2006) …

How to Cite Different Numbers of Authors

When a work has 2 authors, cite both names every time the reference occurs. When a work has 3-5 authors, cite all the names the
first time the reference occurs; in subsequent citations, use the surname of the first author followed by et al. When a work has 6+
authors, use the surname of the first author followed by et al. every time the reference occurs in the text (p.175).

 Note

There is a helpful chart on how to cite references with different numbers of authors on page 177 of the Manual.

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How to Cite Information If No Page Numbers Are Available (pp.171-172)
If a resource contains no page numbers, as can be the case with electronic sources, then you cannot include a page number in the
parentheses. However, if the source indicates paragraph numbers, use the abbreviation “para” and the relevant number in the
parentheses. If the paragraph number is not visible, cite the heading and the paragraph number following it.
As Myers (2000, para. 5) aptly phrased it…
(Beutler, 2000, Conclusion, para. 1)

How to Cite Information When You Have Not Seen the Original Source (p.178)
Sometimes an author writes about research that someone else has done, but you are unable to track down the original research
report. In this case, because you did not read the original report, you will include only the source you did consult in your
References. The words “as cited in” in the parenthetical reference indicate you have not read the original research.
Fong’s 1987 study (as cited in Bertram, 1996) found that older students’ memory can be as good as that of young people, but this
depends on how memory is tested. [Do not include Fong (1987) in your References; do include Bertram (1996).]

How to Cite when you are Altering a Direct Quote

When you need to leave out part of a quotation to make it fit grammatically or because it contains irrelevant/unnecessary
information, insert ellipses (pp.172-173).
If you must add or slightly change words within a quotation for reasons of grammar or clarity, indicate the change with square
brackets (p.173).

Creating a Reference List

Start the Reference list on a new page and include the word “References” in uppercase and lowercase centered. (pp, 180-192)
The References list should be double-spaced. Each entry should be formatted with a hanging indent (p.180).
References cited in text must appear in the References list and vice versa. The only exceptions to this rule are personal
communications and classical works; they are cited in text only and are not included in the References list (p.174).
Use ONLY the initial(s) of the author’s given name, NOT the full name (p.184).
If the References list includes 2 or more entries by the same author(s), list them in chronological order with the earliest first (p.
182).
If the author’s name is unavailable, use the first few words of the title of the article, book or Web source, including the
appropriate capitalization and italics formatting (pp.176-177). E.g. (Scientists Say, 2000).
Arrange References entries in one alphabetical sequence by the surname of the first author or by title or first word if there is no
author (pp.181-183). Ignore the words A, An, and The when alphabetizing by title.
In titles and subtitles of articles, chapters, and books, capitalize only the first letter of the first word and any proper nouns,
except in parenthetical (in text) citations (p.185).
Italicize book titles, journal titles, and volume numbers. Do NOT italicize issue numbers.
Do NOT include retrieval dates unless the source of the material may change over time such as a blog entry or wikis. (p.192)
If a Digital Object Identifier (DOI) is listed on either a print or an electronic source it is included in the reference (pp.188-
192). A DOI is a unique alphanumeric string that is used to identify a certain source (typically journal articles). It is often found
on the first page of an article. Example: doi:10.1080/14622200410001676305
When the References entry includes a URL that must be divided between two lines, break it BEFORE a slash or dash or at
another logical division point. Do NOT insert a hyphen if you need to break a URL or a period at the end of the URL. (p.192).
For a helpful list of some of the abbreviations used in References (such as Vols. for Volumes) check out page 180 of the APA
Manual.

Subject Guide

Figure 2.9.1 - Gisela Butera

Email Me

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 CHAPTER OVERVIEW

3: Definition Essay
3.1: Definitional Argument Essay
3.2: How to Write a Definition Essay
3.3: Critical Thinking
3.4: Video- Thesis Explained
3.5: Effective Thesis Statements
3.6: Student Sample- Definition Essay

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1
3.1: Definitional Argument Essay
For a definitional essay, you need to write an argument that a borderline or contested case fits (or does not fit) within a particular
category by classifying that particular case and defining the category.

Definitional arguments require a definition of key terms:

 Example 3.1.1:
Joe is too bossy.

Define “bossy” and provide examples of his bossy attitude (poor listening skills, shouting at people, making decisions without
asking committee—these are what define “bossy” in your argument.

 Example 3.1.2:

Low-carb diets are dangerous.

Define what constitutes “low-carb” and define what you mean by “dangerous.” Cite studies showing harmful effects, how
substances affect the body, etc.

Criteria-Match Structure:
The criteria section of your argument explains and illustrates your criteria.
The match section of your argument persuades the reader that your example meets those criteria.

 Example 3.1.3:
Although the Hercules Shoe Company is nonpolluting and provides a socially useful product, [CLAIM] it is not a socially
responsible company [BECAUSE CLAUSE] because it treats its workers unjustly.
Criteria Part: What points must be met for a company to be deemed “socially responsible”?
(1) Research how others have defined your term (dictionaries, judicial opinions, expert testimony, etc.
(2) Use your own critical thinking to make your own extended definition.
Match Part: In what ways does the shoe company meet those points?
(1) Supply examples of how this and other situations meet your criteria.
(2) Give other evidence about how your example meets your criteria.

For your Definitional Argument Essay:

1. introduce the issue and state the claim
2. define key terms
3. present your first criterion and argument that your case meets your definition
4. present your second criterion and argument that your case meets your definition
5. present your third criterion and argument that your case meets your definition (if necessary)
6. anticipate and respond to possible objections/arguments
7. conclude with return to the “big picture,” what is at stake, why your argument is important, etc.

Definitional Argument Essay Proposal

What vague or arguable term, phrase, or situation are you defining?
What scenario are you going to use to introduce your claim?
What is your first (1) criterion and (2) argument that your case meets your definition?
What is your second (1) criterion and (2) argument that your case meets your definition?
What is your third (1) criterion and (2) argument that your case meets your definition?

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 What are your (1) anticipated objections/arguments and (2) responses to them?
How will you conclude with return to the “big picture,” what is at stake, why your argument is important, etc?

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3.2: How to Write a Definition Essay
A definition essay can be deceivingly difficult to write. This type of paper requires you to write a personal yet academic definition
of one specific word. The definition must be thorough and lengthy. It is essential that you choose a word that will give you plenty
to write about, and there are a few standard tactics you can use to elaborate on the term. Here are a few guidelines to keep in mind
when writing a definition essay.

Part 1 of 3: Choosing the Right Word

1: Choose an abstract word with a complex meaning.[1]
A simple word that refers to a concrete word will not give you much to write about, but a complex word that refers to an abstract
concept provides more material to explore.
Typically, nouns that refer to a person, place, or thing are too simple for a definition essay. Nouns that refer to an idea work
better, however, as do most adjectives.
For example, the word “house” is fairly simple and an essay written around it may be dull. By switching to something slightly
more abstract like “home,” however, you can play around with the definition more. A “home” is a concept, and there are many
elements involved in the creation of a “home.” In comparison, a “house” is merely a structure.

2: Make sure that the word is disputable.

Aside from being complex, the word should also refer to something that can mean different things to different people.
A definition essay is somewhat subjective by nature since it requires you to analyze and define a word from your own
perspective. If the answer you come up with after analyzing a word is the same answer anyone else would come up with, your
essay may appear to lack depth.

3: Choose a word you have some familiarity with.

Dictionary definitions can only tell you so much. Since you need to elaborate on the word you choose to define, you will need to
have your own base of knowledge or experience with the concept you choose.
For instance, if you have never heard the term “pedantic,” your understanding of the word will be limited. You can introduce
yourself to the word for your essay, but without previous understanding of the concept, you will not know if the definition you
describe is truly fitting.

4: Read the dictionary definition.

While you will not be relying completely on the dictionary definition for your essay, familiarizing yourself with the official
definition will allow you to compare your own understanding of the concept with the simplest, most academic explanation of it.
As an example, one definition of “friend” is “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.”[2] Your
own ideas or beliefs about what a “friend” really is likely include much more information, but this basic definition can present
you with a good starting point in forming your own.

5: Research the word’s origins.

Look up your chosen word in the Oxford English Dictionary or in another etymology dictionary.[3]
These sources can tell you the history behind a word, which can provide further insight on a general definition as well as
information about how a word came to mean what it means today.

Part 2 of 3: Potential Elements of an Effective Definition

1: Write an analysis.[4]
Separate a word into various parts. Analyze and define each part in its own paragraph.
You can separate “return” into “re-” and “turn.” The word “friendship” can be separated into “friend” and “ship.”
In order to analyze each portion of a word, you will still need to use additional defining tactics like negation and classification.
Note that this tactic only works for words that contain multiple parts. The word “love,” for instance, cannot be broken down any
further. If defining “platonic love,” though, you could define both “platonic” and “love” separately within your essay.

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2: Classify the term.
Specify what classes and parts of speech a word belongs to according to a standard dictionary definition.
While this information is very basic and dry, it can provide helpful context about the way that a given word is used.

3: Compare an unfamiliar term to something familiar.

An unfamiliar or uncommon concept can be explained using concepts that are more accessible to the average person.
Many people have never heard of the term “confrere,” for instance. One basic definition is “a fellow member of a profession,
fraternity, etc.” As such, you could compare “confrere” with “colleague,” which is a similar yet more familiar concept.[5]

4: Provide traditional details about the term.

Explain any physical characteristics or traditional thoughts used to describe your term of choice.
The term “home” is often visualized physically as a house or apartment. In more abstract terms, “home” is traditionally thought
to be a warm, cozy, and safe environment. You can include all of these features in a definition essay on “home.”

5: Use examples to illustrate the meaning.

People often relate to stories and vivid images, so using a fitting story or image that relates to the term can be used in clarifying an
abstract, formless concept.
In a definition essay about “kindness,” for example, you could write about an act of kindness you recently witnessed. Someone
who mows the lawn of an elderly neighbor is a valid example, just as someone who gave you an encouraging word when you
were feeling down might be.

6: Use negation to explain what the term does not mean.

If a term is often misused or misunderstood, mentioning what it is not is an effective way to bring the concept into focus.
A common example would be the term “courage.” The term is often associated with a lack of fear, but many will argue that
“courage” is more accurately described as acting in spite of fear.

7: Provide background information.

This is when your research about the etymology of a word will come in handy. Explain where the term originated and how it came
to mean what it currently means.

Part 3 of 3: Definition Essay Structure

1: Introduce the standard definition.
You need to clearly state what your word is along with its traditional or dictionary definition in your introductory paragraph.
By opening with the dictionary definition of your term, you create context and a basic level of knowledge about the word. This
will allow you to introduce and elaborate on your own definition.
This is especially significant when the traditional definition of your term varies from your own definition in notable ways.

2: Define the term in your own words in your thesis.

Your actual thesis statement should define the term in your own words.
Keep the definition in your thesis brief and basic. You will elaborate on it more in the body of your paper.
Avoid using passive phrases involving the word “is” when defining your term. The phrases “is where” and “is when” are
especially clunky.[6]
Do not repeat part of the defined term in your definition.

3: Separate different parts of the definition into separate paragraphs.

Each tactic or method used to define your term should be explored in a separate paragraph.
Note that you do not need to use all the possible methods of defining a term in your essay. You should use a variety of different
methods in order to create a full, well-rounded picture of the term, but some tactics will work great with some terms but not
with others.

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4: Conclude with a summary of your main points.
Briefly summarize your main points around the start of your concluding paragraph.
This summary does not need to be elaborate. Usually, looking at the topic sentence of each body paragraph is a good way to
form a simple list of your main points.
You can also draw the essay to a close by referring to phrases or images evoked in your introduction.

5: Mention how the definition has affected you, if desired.

If the term you define plays a part in your own life and experiences, your final concluding remarks are a good place to briefly
mention the role it plays.
Relate your experience with the term to the definition you created for it in your thesis. Avoid sharing experiences that relate to
the term but contradict everything you wrote in your essay.

Sources and Citations

1. www.roanestate.edu/owl/Definition.html
2. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/friend?s=t
3. http://www.etymonline.com/
4. http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/definition.html
5. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/confrere?s=t
6. http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/definition.htm

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3.3: Critical Thinking
Critical thinking helps readers evaluate the credibility of an argument.

 Learning Objectives
Explain how thinking critically about another author’s work can improve your own
Judge whether or not an author’s argument is solid or in need of improvement using critical thinking

 Example 3.3.1:
Critical thinking is a vital skill for students taking writing-intensive courses in unfamiliar disciplines. The humanities,
natural sciences, and social sciences all utilize an arsenal of critical thinking skills, analytical methods, and theoretical
material; critical thinking enables you to apply theories or methods from your area of expertise to another, and vice versa.
You may even find commonalities between your discipline and the unfamiliar subject that you can use to expand the scope
of your work or add a fresh perspective.
Discovering a flaw in another source’s argument can inspire great paper ideas. An argument that directly engages with other
writers in your discipline will make your work automatically relevant. This approach also demonstrates an active
engagement with the current discourse surrounding your topic. As you read other sources, ask analytical questions to see if
you can uncover any flaws or inconsistencies: Are key terms clearly defined, and do you agree with those definitions? Are
the writers experts in their field? Upon what assumptions and theoretical frameworks do the argument rely? Are these
assumptions and frameworks appropriate for the discipline? Is the methodology valid? Does the argument have consistent
logic? Are the style and organization appropriate, or do they obscure certain details? What is the intended audience for this
work? What is the author’s intent in writing this work? Does the author have any ulterior motives or conflicts of interest
that might undermine credibility?
French philosopher Michel Foucault based his famous book, The History of Sexuality, on his belief that the popular
“repressive hypothesis” is a flawed. The repressive hypothesis suggests that the nineteenth century marked a rapid
escalation in our centuries-old progression toward repressing sexual drives and discouraging conversations about sexuality.
Foucault contends that, while references to sexuality became increasingly coded and symbolic in the nineteenth century,
discussion of sexual matters actually increased. He cites examples of unprecedented expectations for official sexual
disclosures in the nineteenth century, such as the Catholic Church’s focus on increasing the frequency and formal
importance of confession. Foucault mocks his contemporaries as the “Other Victorians,” unable to stop talking about how
they cannot talk about sexuality.
Anthropologist Claude Lévi-Strauss’ research plays an important role in Jacques Derrida’s landmark book Of
Grammatology. The connection between the two thinkers is not immediately obvious: Derrida is primarily known for his
theories about literary interpretation and linguistics; Derrida finds common ground with Lévi-Strauss, however, in their
shared interest in the relationship between speech and writing. When he discusses Lévi-Strauss’ field research on native
languages, Derrida reveals assumptions about the origin of language in a way that enriches his own text-based approach.

In researching the status quo, you will probably come across work by other writers that you would like to use in your own writing.
This can be a very successful argument strategy when done properly. Using sources well means doing more than just repeating
what other authors say; you need to engage with your source text – comment on it, argue with it, analyze it, expand upon it. To do
any of those things, you need to start with a thorough and accurate understanding of the other authors’ work.
This level of understanding begins with thinking critically about the texts you are reading. In this case, “critically” does not mean
that you are looking for what is wrong with a work (although in the course of your critical process, you may well do that). Instead,
thinking critically means approaching a work as if you were a critic or commentator. Your primary goal is to evaluate the text at
hand.
This is an essential step in analyzing a text, and it requires you to consider many different aspects of a writer’s work. Do not just
consider what the text says. Think about what effect the author intended to produce in a reader. Look at the process through which
the writer achieves (or does not achieve) the desired effect, and which rhetorical strategies are being used. If you disagree with a
text, what is the point of contention? If you agree with it, how do you think you can expand or build upon the argument put forth?

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Critical thinking has many uses. If you apply it to a work of literature, for example, it can become the foundation of a detailed
textual analysis. With scholarly articles, critical thinking can help you evaluate their potential reliability as future sources. Finding
an error in someone else’s argument can be the point of destabilization you need to make a worthy argument of your own. Critical
thinking can even help you hone your own argumentation skills, since it requires you to think carefully about which strategies are
effective for making arguments.

 KEY POINTS
Critical thinking is a method of approaching texts that calls for a reader to consider what the author is arguing and how he
or she makes that argument.
Critical thinking is one of the first essential steps in analyzing and writing about a text, topic, or argument.
Thinking critically about other writers’ work can help you improve your own. By applying the same critical standards you
use when reading someone else’s work to your own, you can greatly increase the clarity, accuracy, and value of your work.

 terms
status quo: The state of things; the way things are, as opposed to the way they could be; the existing state of affairs
critical thinking: A method of thinking involving analysis and evaluation. It questions assumptions with the goal of
deciding whether a claim is always true, sometimes true, partly true, or false

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3.4: Video- Thesis Explained
This lecture covers:
• Review of Expository Essays and Elements
• What a Thesis is
• Important parts of a Thesis
• Tips for writing a quality thesis

Thesis Explained

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3.5: Effective Thesis Statements
What is a Thesis Statement?
A thesis statement tells a reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under discussion. Such a statement
is also called an “argument,” a “main idea,” or a “controlling idea.”
A good thesis has two parts. It should tell what you plan to argue, and it should “telegraph” how you plan to argue—that is,
what particular support for your claim is going where in your essay
A standard place for your thesis is at the end of the introductory paragraph.
A thesis is an interpretation of a subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic, of an essay might be World War II or Moby
Dick; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the war or the novel that others might dispute.
A strong thesis not only grabs the interest of your reader, who now wants to see you support your unique interpretation, it also
provides a focus for your argument, one to which every part of your paper refers in the development of your position.
A thesis keeps the writer centered on the matter at hand and reduces the risk of intellectual wandering. Likewise, a thesis
provides the reader with a “road map,” clearly laying out the intellectual route ahead.
A thesis statement avoids the first person (“I believe,” “In my opinion”).

A simple equation for what a thesis might look like this:

What you plan to argue + How you plan to argue it = Thesis
Specific Topic+ Attitude/Angle/Argument=Thesis

Steps To Write Effective Thesis Statement

Choose a prompt or, if appropriate, select a topic: television violence and children
Read the prompt carefully or, if appropriate, ask an interesting question:
What are the effects of television violence on children?
Revise the prompt or question into a preliminary or “working” thesis:
Violence on television increases aggressive behavior in children.
Avoid general phrasing and/or sweeping words such as “all” or “none” or “every”.
Lead the reader toward the topic sentences (the subtopics needed to prove the thesis).
Anticipate the counter-arguments. Once you have a working thesis, you should think about what might be said against it. This
will help you to refine your thesis, and it will also make you think of the arguments that you’ll need to refute later on in your
essay. (Every argument has a counter-argument. If yours doesn’t, then it’s not an argument—it may be a fact, or an opinion, but
it is not an argument.)
Violence on television increases aggressive behavior in children.
This statement is on its way to being a thesis. However, it is too easy to imagine possible counter- arguments. For example, an
observer of societal trends may believe that parenting or easy access to weapons are important factors in youth violence. If you
complicate your thesis by anticipating the counter-argument, you’ll strengthen your argument, as shown in the sentence below.
While poor parenting and easy access to weapons may act as contributory factors, in fact when children are exposed to
television violence they become less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others, are more fearful of the world around
them, and are more likely to behave in aggressive or harmful ways toward others.

The Components of an Effective Thesis Statement

You can’t just pluck a thesis out of thin air. Even if you have a terrific insight concerning a topic, it won’t be worth much unless
you can logically and persuasively support it in the body of your essay. A thesis is the evolutionary result of a thinking process,
not a miraculous creation. Formulating a thesis is not the first thing you do after reading an essay assignment.
An effective thesis statement fulfills the following criteria
Substantial– Your thesis should be a claim for which it is easy to answer every reader’s question: “So what?”
Supportable – A thesis must be a claim that you can prove with the evidence at hand (e.g., evidence from your texts or
from your research). Your claim should not be outlandish, nor should it be mere personal opinion or preference (e.g.,
“Frederick Douglass is my favorite historical figure.”) It tackles a subject that could be adequately covered in the format of
the project assigned.

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 Precise – It is focused and specific. A strong thesis proves a point without discussing everything. It clearly asserts your own
conclusion based on evidence. Note: Be flexible. It is perfectly okay to change your thesis!
Arguable – It should be contestable, proposing an arguable point with which people could reasonably disagree.
Relevant – If you are responding to an assignment, the thesis should answer the question your teacher has posed. In order to
stay focused, pay attention to the task words in the assignment: summarize, argue, compare/contrast, etc.
Aware of Counters– It anticipates and refutes the counter-arguments.
The best thesis statement is a balance of specific details and concise language. Your goal is to articulate an argument in
detail without burdening the reader with too much information.

Questions To Review Your Thesis

“Do I answer the question?” This might seem obvious, but it’s worth asking. No matter how intriguing or dazzling, a thesis that
doesn’t answer the question is not a good thesis!
“Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose?” If not, then you probably do not have a strong argument.
Theses that are too vague often have this problem. If your thesis contains vague words like “good” or “successful,” see if you
could be more specific: why is something “good”; what makes something “successful”?
Would anyone possible care about this thesis? So What? Does your thesis present a position or an interpretation worth
pursuing? If a reader’s first response is, “So what?” then you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger
issue.
“Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering?” Just as a thesis that doesn’t answer the question
ultimately fails, so does a thesis that isn’t properly supported with evidence and reasoning.
Does my thesis statement adequately address the direction words of the prompt: summarize, argue, compare/contrast, analyze,
discuss, etc.?

Myths about Thesis Statements

Every paper requires one. Assignments that ask you to write personal responses or to explore a subject don’t want you to seem
to pre-judge the issues. Essays of literary interpretation often want you to be aware of many effects rather than seeming to box
yourself into one view of the text.
A thesis statement must come at the end of the first paragraph. This is a natural position for a statement of focus, but it’s not the
only one. Some theses can be stated in the opening sentences of an essay; others need a paragraph or two of introduction; others
can’t be fully formulated until the end.
A thesis statement must be one sentence in length, no matter how many clauses it contains. Clear writing is more important than
rules like these. Use two or three sentences if you need them. A complex argument may require a whole tightly-knit paragraph
to make its initial statement of position.
You can’t start writing an essay until you have a perfect thesis statement. It may be advisable to draft a hypothesis or tentative
thesis statement near the start of a big project, but changing and refining a thesis is a main task of thinking your way through
your ideas as you write a paper. And some essay projects need to explore the question in depth without being locked in before
they can provide even a tentative answer.
A thesis statement must give three points of support. It should indicate that the essay will explain and give evidence for its
assertion, but points don’t need to come in any specific number.

Progressively Complex Thesis Statements

Thesis Statement Evaluation

The North and South fought the Civil War for many reasons, some of The worst thesis imaginable (other than non-existent). You’ve said
which were the same and some different. nothing of value.

While both sides fought the Civil War over the issue of slavery, the A good pre-draft thesis. Not a bad start at all. Here’s the catch, and the
North fought for moral reasons while the South fought to preserve its time consuming part of the process. As you write, your argument may
own institutions. become more refined or changed. When it does, so should the thesis.

While there were many underlying causes of the Civil War, three A solid preview of your argument and the main points you intend to
factors converged to make conflict inevitable: the issue of slavery, the make. This would be a strong approach for a persuasive or
idea of states’ rights, and the fight to control the future of the West. exemplification essay.

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 Thesis Statement Evaluation

While both Northerners and Southerners believed they fought against Bien! The thesis statement is nuanced, recognizing the existence of an
tyranny and oppression, Northerners focused on the oppression of opposing point of view, while strongly defending your point. It is
slaves while Southerners defended their own rights to property and self- relatively specific, yet concise—and doesn’t make the reader want to
government. stop reading.

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3.6: Student Sample- Definition Essay
Chris Thurman
Cohen
English 111
12/01/10
Extended Definition Essay
When one thinks of the most important quality in a friend or a family member, trust immediately comes to mind. It can be defined
as reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, and surety of a person or thing. But what does it really mean? Trust, in simple terms, is
faith in another person, despite a lack of an assured outcome.
One characteristic that makes trust unique is its fragility. To gain the trust of a parent or friend, one must continuously prove one’s
honesty and reliability. To gain the complete trust of someone can take years, but can be lost in a single moment. A perfect example
of the delicate nature of trust can be found in marriage. Two spouses must constantly support and be honest with each other to gain
real trust. However, this bond can be easily broken if one of the spouses is caught cheating with someone else. Trust in another
person can make one feel secure and loved, while broken trust can lead to the feeling of anger and vulnerability.
One very important question arises when examining trust: If one knows the outcome of something before it happens, is there any
trust involved? For example, a friend asks to borrow $10,000 so that he can invest it in a company, and receive more money in
return. If one already knew that they would get the money back at the time of the loan, there is no trust involved. However, if the
investment seems very risky, and the only thing that made one approve is the friend’s promise of success, than genuine trust takes
place. The person that is doing the trusting should have faith in the person making the promise, not in the event itself. Real trust is
not tested in times of certainty; rather, genuine trust occurs when we are not certain of the outcome.
Trust can be a found in simple things, like a dog relying on his master to feed him, or it can be found in more complex things
relationships such as two police officers looking out for each other. Most friendships are based on trust as well. Friends will not let
other friends make bad decisions and will expect that others will do the same for them. Trust can be proven to others by doing the
right thing even when one is not asked. If other people know that one can handle responsibility and can manage to do the right
thing, even when they are not asked, they will not falter in providing friendship and support.
Trust has always been a part of everyone’s life whether or not they are aware of it. From the time we are born, we know that our
mother will care for us and show us love and affection. In our teenage years we hope that our friends and family alike will support
our decisions and correct us if we are wrong. To our college years, we expect that our teachers will accurately grade everything we
do. We even expect our spouse to support and love us throughout our adult years. We rely on others to take care of our every need
when we are old. Even on the day that we die, we know that our friends and family will be at our funeral to bid us farewell into the
afterlife. We hope that there is a heaven and a hell, one of which will be our final destination. But throughout our lives, trust
follows us everywhere we go and these trusting relationships that we develop will help lead and guide us. But when it all comes
down to it, who can we trust?

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 CHAPTER OVERVIEW

4: Narrative Essay
4.1: Introduction to Narrative Essay
4.2: Student Sample- Narrative Essay
4.3: “Shooting an Elephant” by George Orwell
4.4: “Sixty-nine Cents” by Gary Shteyngart
4.5: Video- The Danger of a Single Story
4.6: Writing for Success- Narration
4.7: Student Sample- Narrative Essay

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1
4.1: Introduction to Narrative Essay
Narrative Essay
Reflect for a moment on the last memorable story you heard, told, or read. What made the story remain with you? Was it a
compelling character or participant in the action? An interesting set of circumstances? Was it told in an amusing or serious manner,
and did it make you react emotionally?
Everyone loves a good story, and each day we seek out good stories in a variety of media: novels, short stories, newspapers, works
of fine art, blogs, even notes and posts on social media pages.
Narration is the art of storytelling, and in this module, you will investigate the ways in which writers employ common narration
strategies to engage readers from the beginning to the end of a significant event. You will also look critically at some examples of
effective narration as you draft your narrative essay.

Module Outcomes
After successfully completing this module, you should be able to:
1. Describe the purpose, basic components, characteristics, and structure of narrative writing
2. Demonstrate writing techniques of a narrative essay

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4.2: Student Sample- Narrative Essay
Instructions: Read the student essay, “Melon Harvest,” by J. Workman. First read the NON-ANNOTATED student essay, and then
compare it to the ANNOTATED version of the same essay. The purpose of annotation is to help you think deeply about a text as
you read it. Notice how the annotated comments analyze and respond to the essay.
This is a model for how to engage with and annotate the writing you will encounter in this course.

Melon Harvest (Non-Annotated Version)

By J. Workman
At two in the afternoon I drove the five miles from our apartment complex into downtown Texarkana to drop off voter registration
forms and mail paperwork about my recent change in residency to my employer. My husband’s job had brought me to this small
city straddling the border of Texas and Arkansas, where everything still felt quaint and unfamiliar.
Driving home down Jefferson Avenue on the Arkansas side of town I passed a grocery store parking lot where a farmer had parked
his beat-up truck and shoddy trailer under a faded awning. The trailer was loaded up with the last of his watermelon harvest—late
season, probably sweet as they come. The truck bed held early season sweet potatoes. End of the summer fare and beginning of the
winter stores, all in one load. The farmer’s back was facing me as he helped a woman buying watermelons. His arms were huge
and his shoulders wider than a yardstick. He was tall, big, sunburned on his neck and upper arms.
Without warning, tears filled my eyes. Although this farmer was a stranger to me, I recognized his profile. I knew his stories,
including the toil, drudgery and poverty that too often mark a hard-working farmer’s life. That life was just two generations back
for me: my Grandma Wanda grew up a farmer’s daughter. Great Grandpa George was a farmer and cowhand and blacksmith and
sheep shearer and whatever else he could do to put food on the table.
Although rural communities surrounded Texarkana, somehow I was surprised to see this hardscrabble farmer here, now today. He
was the real thing. This man wasn’t like the hippie organic growers at the Santa Monica farmer’s market I visited every Saturday
before I moved from L.A. He wasn’t a part-timer coming to town only seasonally with a load of grapes or melons. This man was
no immigrant laborer from Mexico or El Salvador or Guatemala who came in the 1990s to work the farms on behalf of the white
owners. He was not the descendent of Latin American or Asian laborers who came three generations ago and now own farms
themselves.
This was a homegrown, Caucasian, American farmer, but the not-quite-Norman Rockwell kind. He was a “dirt farmer,” as my new
neighbor Billy described the type, himself the son of a sharecropper. He grew whatever he could coax out of the land, working
those acres generation after generation to hold onto the family homestead. This farmer was young, early thirties perhaps, close to
my own age (although you can’t really tell after awhile because farmers take on the age of the earth). Seeing him hit close to home
for me, too much a reminder of the hardship and poverty of my own family’s roots, uncomfortably manifest today in another
family’s ongoing hardship.
Wiping my eyes, I realized I was projecting all this onto some random roadside farmer, and I didn’t even stop to buy a melon. I
thought about it, but I didn’t really want to have to eat a whole watermelon on my own. More than that, I didn’t know how I would
explain to him the tears I knew would stream from my eyes as I hefted the melon and counted out the bills.
Turning the corner into our apartment complex I passed the Greyhound station just in time to be a voyeur viewing a private
moment between a mother and son. She was sending him off, probably to a city somewhere. He was a big, overweight, sloppy but
good-natured looking boy. For the second time tears sprang to my eyes, and I couldn’t say quite say why. After all, my parents put
me on a Greyhound bus to go back to college after the holidays one winter. My father said it was a mandatory life experience,
taking the bus to school. When I complained, he told me it was good motivation to finish college and get a good job. I can’t say he
was wrong about that.
But here in Texarkana my tears flowed again for that mother and son and the harshness of the big city world out beyond this place.
I cried for the harshness of my citified eyes judging these homespun people in their quaint small place with its oddities and
familiarities, its first names and slow-moving afternoons and churches bigger than stadiums.
I cried for how God must love the humility of a place like this, a town that unobtrusively preserves a Bible in the courthouse and
trusts this nation could never do wrong. Perhaps in some ways this is a better place—better than me and the world I’m from. But in

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some ways it’s also a dying place, dying like a field of vines after the melons are harvested, wilting in the sunlight of America’s
finest hour.

Annotated Version
Click on the link to view the annotated version of the essay: “Melon Harvest,” by J. Workman

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4.3: “Shooting an Elephant” by George Orwell
In “Shooting an Elephant,” author George Orwell finds himself in a position of authority as an Indian community encounters a
rampaging elephant.
Click on the link to view the essay: “Shooting an Elephant” by George Orwell
As you are reading, identify the following:
The “situation”
The “complications”
The “lesson” the author learned from the experience

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4.4: “Sixty-nine Cents” by Gary Shteyngart
In “Sixty-nine Cents,” author Gary Shteyngart describes a coming-of-age experience as a first-generation Russian-Jewish
immigrant in modern America.
Click on the link to view the essay: “Sixty-nine Cents” by Gary Shteyngart
As you are reading, identify the following:
The “situation”
The “complications”
The “lesson” the author learned from the experience.

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4.5: Video- The Danger of a Single Story
Our lives, our cultures, are composed of many overlapping stories. Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells the story of how she found
her authentic cultural voice — and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical
misunderstanding.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: The dange…

dange…

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4.6: Writing for Success- Narration
This section will help you determine the purpose and structure of narration in writing.

The Purpose of Narrative Writing

Narration means the art of storytelling, and the purpose of narrative writing is to tell stories. Any time you tell a story to a friend or
family member about an event or incident in your day, you engage in a form of narration. In addition, a narrative can be factual or
fictional. A factual story is one that is based on, and tries to be faithful to, actual events as they unfolded in real life. A fictional
story is a made-up, or imagined, story; the writer of a fictional story can create characters and events as he or she sees fit.
The big distinction between factual and fictional narratives is based on a writer’s purpose. The writers of factual stories try to
recount events as they actually happened, but writers of fictional stories can depart from real people and events because the writers’
intents are not to retell a real-life event. Biographies and memoirs are examples of factual stories, whereas novels and short stories
are examples of fictional stories.

Know Your Purpose

Because the line between fact and fiction can often blur, it is helpful to understand what your purpose is from the beginning. Is it
important that you recount history, either your own or someone else’s? Or does your interest lie in reshaping the world in your own
image—either how you would like to see it or how you imagine it could be? Your answers will go a long way in shaping the stories
you tell.
Ultimately, whether the story is fact or fiction, narrative writing tries to relay a series of events in an emotionally engaging way.
You want your audience to be moved by your story, which could mean through laughter, sympathy, fear, anger, and so on. The
more clearly you tell your story, the more emotionally engaged your audience is likely to be.

The Structure of a Narrative Essay

Major narrative events are most often conveyed in chronological order, the order in which events unfold from first to last. Stories
typically have a beginning, a middle, and an end, and these events are typically organized by time. Certain transitional words and
phrases aid in keeping the reader oriented in the sequencing of a story. Some of these phrases are listed here:
Chronological Transitional Words
after/afterward as soon as at last before

currently during eventually meanwhile

next now since soon

finally later still then

until when/whenever while first, second, third

Other basic components of a narrative are:

Plot – The events as they unfold in sequence.
Characters – The people who inhabit the story and move it forward. Typically, there are minor characters and main characters.
The minor characters generally play supporting roles to the main character, also known as the protagonist.
Conflict – The primary problem or obstacle that unfolds in the plot that the protagonist must solve or overcome by the end of
the narrative. The way in which the protagonist resolves the conflict of the plot results in the theme of the narrative.
Theme – The ultimate message the narrative is trying to express; it can be either explicit or implicit.

Writing a Narrative Essay

When writing a narrative essay, start by asking yourself if you want to write a factual or fictional story. Then freewrite, brainstorm,
or mindmap about topics that are of general interest to you. For more information about pre-writing, review the materials in “My
Writing Process – Prewriting and Draft.”
Once you have a general idea of what you will be writing about, you should sketch out the major events of the story that will
compose your plot. Typically, these events will be revealed chronologically and climax at a central conflict that must be resolved

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by the end of the story. The use of strong details is crucial as you describe the events and characters in your narrative. You want the
reader to emotionally engage with the world that you create in writing.

Keep the Senses in Mind

To create strong details, keep the human senses in mind. You want your reader to be immersed in the world that you create, so
focus on details related to sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch as you describe people, places, and events in your narrative.
As always, it is important to start with a strong introduction to hook your reader into wanting to read more. Try opening the essay
with an event that is interesting to introduce the story and get it going. Finally, your conclusion should help resolve the central
conflict of the story and impress upon your reader the ultimate theme of the piece.

Narratives Tell A Story

Every day, you relate stories to other people through simple exchanges. You may have had a horrible experience at a restaurant the
night before, or you may have had some good news you are ready to share. In each one of these experiences there’s a story, and
when you begin to share a personal experience, you often communicate in a narrative mode.
Although narratives can vary widely, most share several common features. Generally, storytellers establish:
Characters, the person/people (sometimes they are animals) the story is about, which may include the storyteller
Conflict, or struggle in the story, that builds their audience’s interest
Details, or descriptions, that appeal to the senses of sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste
A sequence of events in a plot, or order of what happens in the story, that keeps the audience engaged as the story unfolds
Reflection of events around a theme, or unifying idea, for telling the story

Narratives of Love and War

Consider two narratives that couldn’t be more different—a tale of love and a story of war: John Hodgman’s sweet, geeky tale of
falling in love and Emmanuel Jal’s story of being a child soldier and learning to forgive his enemies. Review these videos below
then engage in a discussion following the directions as listed.
John Hodgman: A Brief Digression on Matters of Lost Time

John Hodgman: A brief digression on m…

m…

Emmanuel Jal: The Music of a War Child

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 Emmanuel Jal: The music of a war child

Narrative Essay Example

Read the following example of a narrative essay. Note how it reflects the basic components and common features of narratives, as
discussed above.
My College Education
By Scott McLean, in Writing for Success
The first class I went to in college was philosophy, and it changed my life forever. Our first assignment was to write a short
response paper to the Albert Camus essay “The Myth of Sisyphus.” I was extremely nervous about the assignment as well as
college. However, through all the confusion in philosophy class, many of my questions about life were answered.
I entered college intending to earn a degree in engineering. I always liked the way mathematics had right and wrong answers. I
understood the logic and was very good at it. So when I received my first philosophy assignment that asked me to write my
interpretation of the Camus essay, I was instantly confused. What is the right way to do this assignment, I wondered? I was nervous
about writing an incorrect interpretation and did not want to get my first assignment wrong. Even more troubling was that the
professor refused to give us any guidelines on what he was looking for; he gave us total freedom. He simply said, “I want to see
what you come up with.”
Full of anxiety, I first set out to read Camus’s essay several times to make sure I really knew what was it was about. I did my best to
take careful notes. Yet even after I took all these notes and knew the essay inside and out, I still did not know the right answer.
What was my interpretation? I could think of a million different ways to interpret the essay, but which one was my professor
looking for? In math class, I was used to examples and explanations of solutions. This assignment gave me nothing; I was
completely on my own to come up with my individual interpretation.
Next, when I sat down to write, the words just did not come to me. My notes and ideas were all present, but the words were lost. I
decided to try every prewriting strategy I could find. I brainstormed, made idea maps, and even wrote an outline. Eventually, after a
lot of stress, my ideas became more organized and the words fell on the page. I had my interpretation of “The Myth of Sisyphus,”
and I had my main reasons for interpreting the essay. I remember being unsure of myself, wondering if what I was saying made
sense, or if I was even on the right track. Through all the uncertainty, I continued writing the best I could. I finished the conclusion
paragraph, had my spouse proofread it for errors, and turned it in the next day simply hoping for the best.
Then, a week or two later, came judgment day. The professor gave our papers back to us with grades and comments. I remember
feeling simultaneously afraid and eager to get the paper back in my hands. It turned out, however, that I had nothing to worry
about. The professor gave me an A on the paper, and his notes suggested that I wrote an effective essay overall. He wrote that my
reading of the essay was very original and that my thoughts were well organized. My relief and newfound confidence upon reading
his comments could not be overstated.
What I learned through this process extended well beyond how to write a college paper. I learned to be open to new challenges. I
never expected to enjoy a philosophy class and always expected to be a math and science person. This class and assignment,
however, gave me the selfconfidence, critical-thinking skills, and courage to try a new career path. I left engineering and went on to
study law and eventually became a lawyer. More important, that class and paper helped me understand education differently.
Instead of seeing college as a direct stepping stone to a career, I learned to see college as a place to first learn and then seek a career

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or enhance an existing career. By giving me the space to express my own interpretation and to argue for my own values, my
philosophy class taught me the importance of education for education’s sake. That realization continues to pay dividends every day.

Key Takeaways
Narration is the art of storytelling.
Narratives can be either factual or fictional. In either case, narratives should emotionally engage the reader.
Most narratives are composed of major events sequenced in chronological order.
Time transition words and phrases are used to orient the reader in the sequence of a narrative.
The four basic components to all narratives are plot, character, conflict, and theme.
The use of sensory details is crucial to emotionally engaging the reader.
A strong introduction is important to hook the reader. A strong conclusion should add resolution to the conflict and evoke the
narrative’s theme.

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4.7: Student Sample- Narrative Essay
My College Education
The first class I went to in college was philosophy, and it changed my life forever. Our first assignment was to write a short
response paper to the Albert Camus essay “The Myth of Sisyphus.” I was extremely nervous about the assignment as well as
college. However, through all the confusion in philosophy class, many of my questions about life were answered.
I entered college intending to earn a degree in engineering. I always liked the way mathematics had right and wrong answers. I
understood the logic and was very good at it. So when I received my first philosophy assignment that asked me to write my
interpretation of the Camus essay, I was instantly confused. What is the right way to do this assignment, I wondered? I was nervous
about writing an incorrect interpretation and did not want to get my first assignment wrong. Even more troubling was that the
professor refused to give us any guidelines on what he was looking for; he gave us total freedom. He simply said, “I want to see
what you come up with.”
Full of anxiety, I first set out to read Camus’s essay several times to make sure I really knew what was it was about. I did my best to
take careful notes. Yet even after I took all these notes and knew the essay inside and out, I still did not know the right answer.
What was my interpretation? I could think of a million different ways to interpret the essay, but which one was my professor
looking for? In math class, I was used to examples and explanations of solutions. This assignment gave me nothing; I was
completely on my own to come up with my individual interpretation.
Next, when I sat down to write, the words just did not come to me. My notes and ideas were all present, but the words were lost. I
decided to try every prewriting strategy I could find. I brainstormed, made idea maps, and even wrote an outline. Eventually, after a
lot of stress, my ideas became more organized and the words fell on the page. I had my interpretation of “The Myth of Sisyphus,”
and I had my main reasons for interpreting the essay. I remember being unsure of myself, wondering if what I was saying made
sense, or if I was even on the right track. Through all the uncertainty, I continued writing the best I could. I finished the conclusion
paragraph, had my spouse proofread it for errors, and turned it in the next day simply hoping for the best.
Then, a week or two later, came judgment day. The professor gave our papers back to us with grades and comments. I remember
feeling simultaneously afraid and eager to get the paper back in my hands. It turned out, however, that I had nothing to worry
about. The professor gave me an A on the paper, and his notes suggested that I wrote an effective essay overall. He wrote that my
reading of the essay was very original and that my thoughts were well organized. My relief and newfound confidence upon reading
his comments could not be overstated.
What I learned through this process extended well beyond how to write a college paper. I learned to be open to new challenges. I
never expected to enjoy a philosophy class and always expected to be a math and science person. This class and assignment,
however, gave me the self-confidence, critical-thinking skills, and courage to try a new career path. I left engineering and went on
to study law and eventually became a lawyer. More important, that class and paper helped me understand education differently.
Instead of seeing college as a direct stepping stone to a career, I learned to see college as a place to first learn and then seek a career
or enhance an existing career. By giving me the space to express my own interpretation and to argue for my own values, my
philosophy class taught me the importance of education for education’s sake. That realization continues to pay dividends every day.

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 CHAPTER OVERVIEW

5: Illustration/Example Essay
5.1: Introduction to Illustration/Example Essay
5.2: “She’s Your Basic L.O.L. in N.A.D” by Perri Klass
5.3: “April and Paris” by David Sedaris
5.4: Writing for Success- Illustration/Example
5.5: Student Sample- Illustration/Example Essay

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5.1: Introduction to Illustration/Example Essay
Illustration/Example
To illustrate means to show or demonstrate something clearly. An effective illustration essay clearly demonstrates and supports a
point through the use of examples and/or evidence. Ultimately, you want the evidence to help the reader “see” your point, as one
would see a good illustration in a magazine or on a website. The stronger your evidence is, the more clearly the reader will consider
your point.
In this module, you will develop your skills in illustration/example writing.

Module Outcomes
After successfully completing this module, you should be able to:
1. Determine the purpose and structure of the illustration essay.
2. Understand how to write an illustration essay.

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5.2: “She’s Your Basic L.O.L. in N.A.D” by Perri Klass
In “She’s Your Basic L.O.L. in N.A.D,” pediatrician and writer Perri Klass discusses the medical-speak she encountered in her
training as a doctor and its underlying meaning.
Click on the link to view the essay: “She’s Your Basic L.O.L. in N.A.D” by Perri Klass
As you read, look for the following:
The author’s primary thesis or theme
The examples provided by each author to assert the theme
See if you can determine which essay uses “multiple” examples (a series of brief examples to illustrate or assert the thesis) and
which essay uses “extended” examples (longer examples explained through multiple sentences or paragraphs)

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5.3: “April and Paris” by David Sedaris
In “April & Paris,” writer David Sedaris explores the unique impact of animals on the human psyche.
Click on the link to view the essay: “April & Paris” by David Sedaris
As you read, look for the following:
The author’s primary thesis or theme
The examples provided by the author to assert the theme
See if you can determine which essay uses “multiple” examples (a series of brief examples to illustrate or assert the thesis) and
which essay uses “extended” examples (longer examples explained through multiple sentences or paragraphs)

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5.4: Writing for Success- Illustration/Example
 Learning Objectives
This section will help you determine the purpose and structure of illustration/ example in writing.

The Purpose of Illustration in Writing

To illustrate means to show or demonstrate something clearly. An effective illustration essay, also known as an example essay,
clearly demonstrates and supports a point through the use of evidence.
The controlling idea of an essay is called a thesis. A writer can use different types of evidence to support his or her thesis. Using
scientific studies, experts in a particular field, statistics, historical events, current events, analogies, and personal anecdotes are all
ways in which a writer can illustrate a thesis. Ultimately, you want the evidence to help the reader “see” your point, as one would
see a good illustration in a magazine or on a website. The stronger your evidence is, the more clearly the reader will consider your
point.
Using evidence effectively can be challenging, though. The evidence you choose will usually depend on your subject and who your
reader is (your audience). When writing an illustration essay, keep in mind the following:
Use evidence that is appropriate to your topic as well as appropriate for your audience.
Assess how much evidence you need to adequately explain your point depending on the complexity of the subject and the
knowledge of your audience regarding that subject.
For example, if you were writing about a new communication software and your audience was a group of English-major
undergrads, you might want to use an analogy or a personal story to illustrate how the software worked. You might also choose to
add a few more pieces of evidence to make sure the audience understands your point. However, if you were writing about the same
subject and you audience members were information technology (IT) specialists, you would likely use more technical evidence
because they would be familiar with the subject.
Keeping in mind your subject in relation to your audience will increase your chances of effectively illustrating your point.

The Structure of an Illustration Essay

The controlling idea, or thesis, belongs at the beginning of the essay. Evidence is then presented in the essay’s body paragraphs to
support the thesis. You can start supporting your main point with your strongest evidence first, or you can start with evidence of
lesser importance and have the essay build to increasingly stronger evidence. This type of organization is called “order of
importance.”
Transition words are also helpful in ordering the presentation of evidence. Words like first, second, third, currently, next, and
finally all help orient the reader and sequence evidence clearly. Because an illustration essay uses so many examples, it is also
helpful to have a list of words and phrases to present each piece of evidence. Certain transitional words and phrases aid in
keeping the reader oriented in the sequencing of a story. Some of these phrases are listed here:
Phrases of Illustration
case in point for example

for instance in particular

in this case one example/another example

specifically to illustrate

Vary the phrases of illustration you use. Do not rely on just one. Variety in choice of words and phrasing is critical when trying to
keep readers engaged in your writing and your ideas.

Writing an Illustration Essay

First, decide on a topic that you feel interested in writing about. Then create an interesting introduction to engage the reader. The
main point, or thesis, should be stated at the end of the introduction.

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Gather evidence that is appropriate to both your subject and your audience. You can order the evidence in terms of importance,
either from least important to most important or from most important to least important. Be sure to fully explain all of your
examples using strong, clear supporting details.

 Example 5.4.1:

Letter to the City

By Scott McLean in Writing for Success
To: Lakeview Department of Transportation
From: A Concerned Citizen
The intersection of Central Avenue and Lake Street is dangerous and demands immediate consideration for the installation of a
controlling mechanism. I have lived in Lakeview my entire life, and during that time I have witnessed too many accidents and
close calls at that intersection. I would like the Department of Transportation to answer this question: how many lives have to
be lost on the corner of Central Avenue and Lake Street before a street light or stop sign is placed there?
Over the past twenty years, the population of Lakeview has increased dramatically. This population growth has put tremendous
pressure on the city’s roadways, especially Central Avenue and its intersecting streets. At the intersection of Central Avenue
and Lake Street it is easy to see how serious this problem is. For example, when I try to cross Central Avenue as a pedestrian, I
frequently wait over ten minutes for the cars to clear, and even then I must rush to the median. I will then have to continue to
wait until I can finally run to the other side of the street. On one hand, even as a physically fit adult, I can run only with
significant effort and care. Expecting a senior citizen or a child to cross this street, on the other hand, is extremely dangerous
and irresponsible. Does the city have any plans to do anything about this?
Recent data show that the intersection of Central Avenue and Lake Street has been especially dangerous. According to the
city’s own statistics, three fatalities occurred at that intersection in the past year alone. Over the past five years, the intersection
witnessed fourteen car accidents, five of which were fatal. These numbers officially qualify the intersection as the most fatal
and dangerous in the entire state. It should go without saying that fatalities and accidents are not the clearest way of measuring
the severity of this situation because for each accident that happens, countless other close calls never contribute to city data. I
hope you will agree that these numbers alone are sufficient evidence that the intersection at Central Avenue and Lake Street is
hazardous and demands immediate attention.
Nearly all accidents mentioned are caused by vehicles trying to cross Central Avenue while driving on Lake Street. I think the
City of Lakeview should consider placing a traffic light there to control the traffic going both ways. While I do not have access
to any resources or data that can show precisely how much a traffic light can improve the intersection, I think you will agree
that a controlled busy intersection is much safer than an uncontrolled one. Therefore, at a minimum, the city must consider
making the intersection a four-way stop.
Each day that goes by without attention to this issue is a lost opportunity to save lives and make the community a safer, more
enjoyable place to live. Because the safety of citizens is the priority of every government, I can only expect that the
Department of Transportation and the City of Lakeview will act on this matter immediately. For the safety and well-being of
Lakeview citizens, please do not let bureaucracy or money impede this urgent project.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen

 KEY TAKEAWAYS
An illustration essay clearly explains a main point using evidence.
When choosing evidence, always gauge whether the evidence is appropriate for the subject as well as the audience.
Organize the evidence in terms of importance, either from least important to most important or from most important to least
important.
Use time transitions to order evidence.
Use phrases of illustration to call out examples.

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5.5: Student Sample- Illustration/Example Essay
Illustration/Example Essay Example
Letter to the City
To: Lakeview Department of Transportation
From: A Concerned Citizen
The intersection of Central Avenue and Lake Street is dangerous and demands immediate consideration for the installation of a
controlling mechanism. I have lived in Lakeview my entire life, and during that time I have witnessed too many accidents and close
calls at that intersection. I would like the Department of Transportation to answer this question: how many lives have to be lost on
the corner of Central Avenue and Lake Street before a street light or stop sign is placed there?
Over the past twenty years, the population of Lakeview has increased dramatically. This population growth has put tremendous
pressure on the city’s roadways, especially Central Avenue and its intersecting streets. At the intersection of Central Avenue and
Lake Street it is easy to see how serious this problem is. For example, when I try to cross Central Avenue as a pedestrian, I
frequently wait over ten minutes for the cars to clear, and even then I must rush to the median. I will then have to continue to wait
until I can finally run to the other side of the street. On one hand, even as a physically fit adult, I can run only with significant effort
and care. Expecting a senior citizen or a child to cross this street, on the other hand, is extremely dangerous and irresponsible. Does
the city have any plans to do anything about this?
Recent data show that the intersection of Central Avenue and Lake Street has been especially dangerous. According to the city’s
own statistics, three fatalities occurred at that intersection in the past year alone. Over the past five years, the intersection witnessed
fourteen car accidents, five of which were fatal. These numbers officially qualify the intersection as the most fatal and dangerous in
the entire state. It should go without saying that fatalities and accidents are not the clearest way of measuring the severity of this
situation because for each accident that happens, countless other close calls never contribute to city data. I hope you will agree that
these numbers alone are sufficient evidence that the intersection at Central Avenue and Lake Street is hazardous and demands
immediate attention.
Nearly all accidents mentioned are caused by vehicles trying to cross Central Avenue while driving on Lake Street. I think the City
of Lakeview should consider placing a traffic light there to control the traffic going both ways. While I do not have access to any
resources or data that can show precisely how much a traffic light can improve the intersection, I think you will agree that a
controlled busy intersection is much safer than an uncontrolled one. Therefore, at a minimum, the city must consider making the
intersection a four-way stop.
Each day that goes by without attention to this issue is a lost opportunity to save lives and make the community a safer, more
enjoyable place to live. Because the safety of citizens is the priority of every government, I can only expect that the Department of
Transportation and the City of Lakeview will act on this matter immediately. For the safety and well-being of Lakeview citizens,
please do not let bureaucracy or money impede this urgent project.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen

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 CHAPTER OVERVIEW

6: Compare/Contrast Essay
6.1: Introduction to Compare/Contrast Essay
6.2: “Disability” by Nancy Mairs
6.3: “Friending, Ancient or Otherwise” by Alex Wright
6.4: “A South African Storm” by Allison Howard
6.5: Writing for Success- Compare/Contrast
6.6: Student Sample- Compare/Contrast Essay

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6.1: Introduction to Compare/Contrast Essay
Comparison in writing discusses elements that are similar, while contrast in writing discusses elements that are different.
The key to a good compare-and-contrast essay is to choose two or more subjects that connect in a meaningful way. The purpose of
conducting the comparison or contrast is not simply to state the obvious but rather to illuminate subtle differences or unexpected
similarities. Through this process, the essay reveals insights that are interesting to the reader.
In this module, you will develop your skills in compare and contrast writing.

Module Outcomes
After successfully completing this module, you should be able to:
1. Determine the purpose and structure of the compare and contrast essay.
2. Understand how to write a compare and contrast essay.

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6.2: “Disability” by Nancy Mairs
In “Disability,” writer Nancy Mairs discusses the experience of being a disabled person in a world focused on the able-bodied.
Click on the link to view the essay: “Disability,” by Nancy Mairs
As you read, look for the following:
What “points for comparison” does the author use?
How does the author go beyond the obvious similarities and differences to surface interesting ideas and insights?

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6.3: “Friending, Ancient or Otherwise” by Alex Wright
In “Friending, Ancient or Otherwise,” writer Alex Wright explores the evolution and purpose of friendship in the age of social
media.
Click on the link to view the essay: “Friending, Ancient or Otherwise” by Alex Wright
As you read, look for the following:
What “points for comparison” does the author use?
How does the author go beyond the obvious similarities and differences to surface interesting ideas and insights?

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6.4: “A South African Storm” by Allison Howard
As you read, look for the following:
What “points for comparison” does the author use?
How does the author go beyond the obvious similarities and differences to surface interesting ideas and insights?
By Allison Howard – Peace Corps Volunteer: South Africa (2003-2005)
It’s a Saturday afternoon in January in South Africa. When I begin the 45–minute walk to the shops for groceries, I can hear
thunder cracking in the distance up the mountain in Mageobaskloof. But at 4 p.m. the sky is still light and bright and I am sure—
famous last words—I will be fine without an umbrella.
Just the basics: eggs, bread, Diet Coke in a bag slung into the crook of my elbow. Halfway from town, two black South African
women—domestic workers in the homes of white Afrikaner families—stop me with wide smiles. They know me; I’m the only
white person in town who walks everywhere, as they do. They chatter quickly in northern Sotho: “Missus, you must go fast. Pula e
tla na! The rain, it comes!” They like me, and it feels very important to me that they do.“Yebo, yebo, mma,” I say—Yes, it’s true—
and I hurry along in flip-flops, quickening my pace, feeling good about our brief but neighborly conversation. These are Venda
women.
My black South African friends tell me it’s easy to tell a Venda from a Shangaan from a Xhosa from a Pedi. “These ones from
Venda , they have wide across the nose and high in the cheekbones,” they say. But I don’t see it; I’m years away from being able to
distinguish the nuances of ethnicity. Today, I know these women are Vendas simply because of their clothing: bright stripes of
green and yellow and black fabric tied at one shoulder and hanging quite like a sack around their bodies. They’ve already extended
a kindness to me by speaking in northern Sotho. It’s not their language but they know I don’t speak a word of Afrikaans (though
they don’t understand why; Afrikaans is the language of white people). They know I struggle with Sotho and they’re trying to help
me learn. So they speak Sotho to me and they’re delighted and amused by my fumbling responses. And I am, quite simply,
delighted by their delight.
The Venda ladies are right: the rain, it comes. Lightly at first, and by habit I begin trotting to hurry my way home. Just a little rain
at first and there are plenty of us out in it. I can see others up ahead on the street and others still just leaving the shops to get back
before the real rain begins.
The people who are walking along this swath of tar road are black. Black people don’t live in this neighborhood—or in my town at
all, for the most part. They work and board here as domestic workers, nannies, gardeners. Their families live in black townships
and rural villages—some just outside of my town; others far away, in places like Venda.
Today, we’re walking together in the rain, and I’m quickening my pace because—after all , it’s raining . That’s what you do in the
rain. And even though it’s coming down noticeably harder, it’s 80 degrees and I’m not cold, I’m just wet. My hair is stuck to my
forehead and my T-shirt is soaked … and I’m the only one running for cover. And I think: So what? It’s just water and in the
middle of the January summer, it’s warm, refreshing water. Why run? Why do we run from the rain?
In my life back in the United States, I might run because I was carrying a leather handbag, or because I wore an outfit that
shouldn’t get wet. I would run because rain dishevels and messes things up. Mostly though, we run because we just do; it’s a habit.
I’ve done it a hundred times: running to my car or the subway station with a newspaper sheltering my head. I have never not
quickened my pace in the rain until today.
It took all of my 27 years and a move to Africa , where I don’t have a leather handbag to shelter or a pretty outfit to protect. I’m
wearing an old cotton skirt and a T-shirt, and I’m drenched, and I love it. I learn things here in the most ordinary circumstances.
And I feel like a smarter, better woman today because I got groceries in the rain.
But on the long walk home, positively soaked and smiling like a fool, I notice a car pulling over and a man yelling in Afrikaans to
get in, get in. I look in the direction I’ve come from and several meters behind me is a woman with a baby tied to her back and an
elderly man carrying bags, leading a young boy by the hand. On the road ahead, a woman about my age carries a parcel wrapped in
plastic, balanced precariously on her head. There are maybe 20 people walking with me in my reverie of rain and they are black.
And the man in the car is white and he’s gesturing frantically for me to get in. Why me? Why not the others? Because I’m white
and it’s about race. Everything is about race here.
This man in the car is trying to do something kind and neighborly. He wants to help me and his gesture is right, but his instincts are
so wrong. How do you resent someone who is, for no benefit of his own, trying to help? But I do. I resent him and I resent the

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world he lives in that taught him such selective kindness. This whole event unravels in a few seconds’ time. He’s leaned over and
opened the car door, urging me in … and I get in. And we speed past my fellow walkers and he drops me at my doorstep before I
have time to think of anything besides giving him directions.
It feels like a mistake because I’m ashamed to think what the Venda women would have felt if he’d ignored them and they had
watched me climb into that car. In some ways, the whole episode seems absurd. I’m not going to atone for 400 years of South
African history by walking with black people in the rain. If I’d refused his ride, he wouldn’t have thought anything besides the fact
that I was certifiably crazy. That’s the thing about being here: I’m not going to changeanything. But I believe it matters in some
infinitesimal way that people like the Venda women, and the dozens of people who may walk alongside me on any given day, know
that I’m there. In black South African culture it is polite to greet every person you pass. That’s what they do, so I do it, too. On the
occasional morning, someone might greet me as “sesi,” sister. I have to believe that matters; I know it matters to me.
I was disappointed in myself for getting into the car because I acted according to the same habit that makes us think rain an
inconvenience. Just as we run from the rain, I hopped into that car because I’m supposed to. Conventionally, it makes sense. But
convention compels us to do so many things that don’t make any sense at all. Convention misinforms our instincts. And in a larger
sense, it is convention that propels Afrikaner culture anachronistically into the future. Ten years after the supposed end of
apartheid, I’m living in a world of institutionalized racism. Convention becomes institution—and it’s oppressive and it’s unjust. I
know that if I’m going to make it here for two more years, I need to walk in the rain. It’s a small, wasted gesture, but it’s an
uncorrupted instinct that makes me feel human.
So much about living here feels like that fraction of a second when the Afrikaner man was appealing to my conventional
sensibilities and the people on the street were appealing to my human instincts. It may feel unnatural to reject those sensibilities just
as, at first, it feels unnatural to walk in the rain. But if I lose a hold on my instincts here, I’ll fail myself and I’ll fail to achieve those
tiny things that matter so much. It’s simple and it’s small; and it’s everything. Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the
world.” Indeed. Let it rain.

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6.5: Writing for Success- Compare/Contrast
 Learning Objectives
This section will help you determine the purpose and structure of comparison/contrast in writing.

The Purpose of Compare/Contrast in Writing

Comparison in writing discusses elements that are similar, while contrast in writing discusses elements that are different. A
compare-and-contrast essay, then, analyzes two subjects by comparing them, contrasting them, or both.
The key to a good compare-and-contrast essay is to choose two or more subjects that connect in a meaningful way. The purpose of
conducting the comparison or contrast is not to state the obvious but rather to illuminate subtle differences or unexpected
similarities. For example, if you wanted to focus on contrasting two subjects you would not pick apples and oranges; rather, you
might choose to compare and contrast two types of oranges or two types of apples to highlight subtle differences. For example, Red
Delicious apples are sweet, while Granny Smiths are tart and acidic. Drawing distinctions between elements in a similar category
will increase the audience’s understanding of that category, which is the purpose of the compare-and-contrast essay.
Similarly, to focus on comparison, choose two subjects that seem at first to be unrelated. For a comparison essay, you likely would
not choose two apples or two oranges because they share so many of the same properties already. Rather, you might try to compare
how apples and oranges are quite similar. The more divergent the two subjects initially seem, the more interesting a comparison
essay will be.

The Structure of a Compare/Contrast Essay

The compare-and-contrast essay starts with a thesis that clearly states the two subjects that are to be compared, contrasted, or both
and the reason for doing so. The thesis could lean more toward comparing, contrasting, or both. Remember, the point of comparing
and contrasting is to provide useful knowledge to the reader. Take the following thesis as an example that leans more toward
contrasting:
Thesis Statement: Organic vegetables may cost more than those that are conventionally grown, but when put to the test, they are
definitely worth every extra penny.
Here the thesis sets up the two subjects to be compared and contrasted (organic versus conventional vegetables), and it makes a
claim about the results that might prove useful to the reader.
You may organize compare-and-contrast essays in one of the following two ways:
1. According to the subjects themselves, discussing one then the other
2. According to individual points, discussing each subject in relation to each point
The organizational structure you choose depends on the nature of the topic, your purpose, and your audience.
Given that compare-and-contrast essays analyze the relationship between two subjects, it is helpful to have some phrases on hand
that will cue the reader to such analysis.
Phrases of Comparison and Contrast
Comparison Contrast

one similarity one difference

another similarity another difference

both conversely

like in contrast

likewise unlike

similarly while

in a similar fashion whereas

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Writing an Compare/Contrast Essay
First choose whether you want to compare seemingly disparate subjects, contrast seemingly similar subjects, or compare and
contrast subjects. Once you have decided on a topic, introduce it with an engaging opening paragraph. Your thesis should come at
the end of the introduction, and it should establish the subjects you will compare, contrast, or both as well as state what can be
learned from doing so.
The body of the essay can be organized in one of two ways: by subject or by individual points. The organizing strategy that you
choose will depend on, as always, your audience and your purpose. You may also consider your particular approach to the subjects
as well as the nature of the subjects themselves; some subjects might better lend themselves to one structure or the other. Make sure
to use comparison and contrast phrases to cue the reader to the ways in which you are analyzing the relationship between the
subjects.
After you finish analyzing the subjects, write a conclusion that summarizes the main points of the essay and reinforces your thesis.

 Example 6.5.1:

Comparing and Contrasting London and Washington, DC

By Scott McLean in Writing for Success
Both Washington, DC, and London are capital cities of English-speaking countries, and yet they offer vastly different
experiences to their residents and visitors. Comparing and contrasting the two cities based on their history, their culture, and
their residents show how different and similar the two are.
Both cities are rich in world and national history, though they developed on very different time lines. London, for example, has
a history that dates back over two thousand years. It was part of the Roman Empire and known by the similar name,
Londinium. It was not only one of the northernmost points of the Roman Empire but also the epicenter of the British Empire
where it held significant global influence from the early sixteenth century on through the early twentieth century. Washington,
DC, on the other hand, has only formally existed since the late eighteenth century. Though Native Americans inhabited the
land several thousand years earlier, and settlers inhabited the land as early as the sixteenth century, the city did not become the
capital of the United States until the 1790s. From that point onward to today, however, Washington, DC, has increasingly
maintained significant global influence. Even though both cities have different histories, they have both held, and continue to
hold, significant social influence in the economic and cultural global spheres.
Both Washington, DC, and London offer a wide array of museums that harbor many of the world’s most prized treasures.
While Washington, DC, has the National Gallery of Art and several other Smithsonian galleries, London’s art scene and
galleries have a definite edge in this category. From the Tate Modern to the British National Gallery, London’s art ranks among
the world’s best. This difference and advantage has much to do with London and Britain’s historical depth compared to that of
the United States. London has a much richer past than Washington, DC, and consequently has a lot more material to pull from
when arranging its collections. Both cities have thriving theater districts, but again, London wins this comparison, too, both in
quantity and quality of theater choices. With regard to other cultural places like restaurants, pubs, and bars, both cities are very
comparable. Both have a wide selection of expensive, elegant restaurants as well as a similar amount of global and national
chains. While London may be better known for its pubs and taste in beer, DC offers a different bar-going experience. With
clubs and pubs that tend to stay open later than their British counterparts, the DC night life tend to be less reserved overall.
Both cities also share and differ in cultural diversity and cost of living. Both cities share a very expensive cost of living—both
in terms of housing and shopping. A downtown one-bedroom apartment in DC can easily cost $1,800 per month, and a similar
“flat” in London may double that amount. These high costs create socioeconomic disparity among the residents. Although both
cities’ residents are predominantly wealthy, both have a significantly large population of poor and homeless. Perhaps the most
significant difference between the resident demographics is the racial makeup. Washington, DC, is a “minority majority” city,
which means the majority of its citizens are races other than white. In 2009, according to the US Census, 55 percent of DC
residents were classified as “Black or African American” and 35 percent of its residents were classified as “white.” London, by
contrast, has very few minorities—in 2006, 70 percent of its population was “white,” while only 10 percent was “black.” The
racial demographic differences between the cities is drastic.
Even though Washington, DC, and London are major capital cities of English-speaking countries in the Western world, they
have many differences along with their similarities. They have vastly different histories, art cultures, and racial demographics,

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 but they remain similar in their cost of living and socioeconomic disparity.

 KEY TAKEAWAYS
A compare-and-contrast essay analyzes two subjects by either comparing them, contrasting them, or both.
The purpose of writing a comparison or contrast essay is not to state the obvious but rather to illuminate subtle differences
or unexpected similarities between two subjects.
The thesis should clearly state the subjects that are to be compared, contrasted, or both, and it should state what is to be
learned from doing so.
There are two main organizing strategies for compare-and-contrast essays.
1. 1. Organize by the subjects themselves, one then the other.
2. Organize by individual points, in which you discuss each subject in relation to each point.
Use phrases of comparison or phrases of contrast to signal to readers how exactly the two subjects are being analyzed.

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6.6: Student Sample- Compare/Contrast Essay
Compare and Contrast Essay
Comparing and Contrasting London and Washington, DC
Both Washington, DC, and London are capital cities of English-speaking countries, and yet they offer vastly different experiences
to their residents and visitors. Comparing and contrasting the two cities based on their history, their culture, and their residents
show how different and similar the two are.
Both cities are rich in world and national history, though they developed on very different time lines. London, for example, has a
history that dates back over two thousand years. It was part of the Roman Empire and known by the similar name, Londinium. It
was not only one of the northernmost points of the Roman Empire but also the epicenter of the British Empire where it held
significant global influence from the early sixteenth century on through the early twentieth century. Washington, DC, on the other
hand, has only formally existed since the late eighteenth century. Though Native Americans inhabited the land several thousand
years earlier, and settlers inhabited the land as early as the sixteenth century, the city did not become the capital of the United States
until the 1790s. From that point onward to today, however, Washington, DC, has increasingly maintained significant global
influence. Even though both cities have different histories, they have both held, and continue to hold, significant social influence in
the economic and cultural global spheres.
Both Washington, DC, and London offer a wide array of museums that harbor many of the world’s most prized treasures. While
Washington, DC, has the National Gallery of Art and several other Smithsonian galleries, London’s art scene and galleries have a
definite edge in this category. From the Tate Modern to the British National Gallery, London’s art ranks among the world’s best.
This difference and advantage has much to do with London and Britain’s historical depth compared to that of the United States.
London has a much richer past than Washington, DC, and consequently has a lot more material to pull from when arranging its
collections. Both cities have thriving theater districts, but again, London wins this comparison, too, both in quantity and quality of
theater choices. With regard to other cultural places like restaurants, pubs, and bars, both cities are very comparable. Both have a
wide selection of expensive, elegant restaurants as well as a similar amount of global and national chains. While London may be
better known for its pubs and taste in beer, DC offers a different bar-going experience. With clubs and pubs that tend to stay open
later than their British counterparts, the DC night life tend to be less reserved overall.
Both cities also share and differ in cultural diversity and cost of living. Both cities share a very expensive cost of living—both in
terms of housing and shopping. A downtown one-bedroom apartment in DC can easily cost $1,800 per month, and a similar “flat”
in London may double that amount. These high costs create socioeconomic disparity among the residents. Although both cities’
residents are predominantly wealthy, both have a significantly large population of poor and homeless. Perhaps the most significant
difference between the resident demographics is the racial makeup. Washington, DC, is a “minority majority” city, which means the
majority of its citizens are races other than white. In 2009, according to the US Census, 55 percent of DC residents were classified
as “Black or African American” and 35 percent of its residents were classified as “white.” London, by contrast, has very few
minorities—in 2006, 70 percent of its population was “white,” while only 10 percent was “black.” The racial demographic
differences between the cities is drastic.
Even though Washington, DC, and London are major capital cities of English-speaking countries in the Western world, they have
many differences along with their similarities. They have vastly different histories, art cultures, and racial demographics, but they
remain similar in their cost of living and socioeconomic disparity.

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 CHAPTER OVERVIEW

7: Cause-and-Effect Essay
7.1: Introduction to Cause-and-Effect Essay
7.2: “Cultural Baggage” by Barbara Ehrenreich
7.3: “Women in Science” by K.C. Cole
7.4: Writing for Success- Cause and Effect
7.5: Student Sample- Cause-and-Effect Essay

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1
7.1: Introduction to Cause-and-Effect Essay
Cause and Effect
It is often considered human nature to ask, “why?” and “how?” We want to know how our child got sick so we can better prevent it
from happening in the future. We want to know why a colleague received a pay raise because we want one as well. We want to
know how much money we will save over the long term if we buy a hybrid car. These examples identify only a few of the
relationships we think about in our lives, but each shows the importance of understanding cause and effect.
In this module, you will develop your skills in cause-and-effect writing.

Module Outcomes
After successfully completing this module, you should be able to:
1. Determine the purpose and structure of the cause-and-effect essay.
2. Understand how to write a cause-and-effect essay.

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7.2: “Cultural Baggage” by Barbara Ehrenreich
Click on the link to view the essay: “Cultural Baggage” by Barbara Ehrenreich
As you read, first identify the author’s primary thesis or theme. Then identify the “causes” and/or “effects” that help reinforce the
author’s thesis.

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7.3: “Women in Science” by K.C. Cole
Click on the link to view the essay: “Women in Science” by K.C. Cole
As you read, first identify the author’s primary thesis or theme. Then identify the “causes” and/or “effects” that help reinforce the
author’s thesis.

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7.4: Writing for Success- Cause and Effect
This section will help you determine the purpose and structure of cause and effect in writing.

The Purpose of Cause and Effect in Writing

It is often considered human nature to ask, “why?” and “how?” We want to know how our child got sick so we can better prevent it
from happening in the future, or why a colleague received a pay raise because we want one as well. We want to know how much
money we will save over the long term if we buy a hybrid car, or how long we will live if we exercise daily. These examples
identify only a few of the relationships we think about in our lives, but each shows the importance of understanding cause and
effect.
A cause is something that produces an event or condition; an effect is what results from an event or condition. The purpose of the
cause-and-effect essay is to determine how various phenomena relate in terms of origins and results. Sometimes the connection
between cause and effect is clear, but often determining the exact relationship between the two is very difficult. For example, the
following effects of a cold may be easily identifiable: a sore throat, runny nose, and a cough. But determining the cause of the
sickness can be far more difficult. A number of causes are possible, and to complicate matters, these possible causes could have
combined to cause the sickness. That is, more than one cause may be responsible for any given effect. Therefore, cause-and-effect
discussions are often complicated and frequently lead to debates and arguments.
Use the complex nature of cause and effect to your advantage. Often it is not necessary, or even possible, to find the exact cause of
an event or to name the exact effect. So, when formulating a thesis, you can claim one of a number of causes or effects to be the
primary, or main, cause or effect. As soon as you claim that one cause or one effect is more crucial than the others, you have
developed a thesis.

The Structure of a Cause and Effect Essay

The cause-and-effect essay opens with a general introduction to the topic, which then leads to a thesis that states the main cause,
main effect, or various causes and effects of a condition or event.
The cause-and-effect essay can be organized in one of the following two primary ways:
Start with the cause and then talk about the effects.
Start with the effect and then talk about the causes.
For example, if your essay were on childhood obesity, you could start by talking about the effect of childhood obesity and then
discuss the cause or you could start the same essay by talking about the cause of childhood obesity and then move to the effect.
Regardless of which structure you choose, be sure to explain each element of the essay fully and completely. Explaining complex
relationships requires the full use of evidence, such as scientific studies, expert testimony, statistics, and anecdotes.
Because cause-and-effect essays determine how phenomena are linked, they make frequent use of certain words and phrases that
denote such linkage. Certain transitional words and phrases aid in keeping the reader oriented in the sequencing of a story. Some
of these phrases are listed here:
Phrases of Causation
as a result consequently

because due to

hence since

thus therefore

The conclusion should wrap up the discussion and reinforce the thesis, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of the
relationship that was analyzed.
Be careful of resorting to empty speculation. In writing, speculation amounts to unsubstantiated guessing. Writers are particularly
prone to such trappings in cause-and-effect arguments due to the complex nature of finding links between phenomena. Be sure to
have clear evidence to support the claims that you make.

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Writing an Cause and Effect Essay
Choose an event or condition that you think has an interesting cause-and-effect relationship. Introduce your topic in an engaging
way. End your introduction with a thesis that states the main cause, the main effect, or both.
Organize your essay by starting with either the cause-then-effect structure or the effect-then-cause structure. Within each section,
you should clearly explain and support the causes and effects using a full range of evidence. If you are writing about multiple
causes or multiple effects, you may choose to sequence either in terms of order of importance. In other words, order the causes
from least to most important (or vice versa), or order the effects from least important to most important (or vice versa).
Use the phrases of causation when trying to forge connections between various events or conditions. This will help organize your
ideas and orient the reader. End your essay with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reinforces your thesis.

 Example 7.4.1:

Effects of Video Game Addiction

By Scott McLean
Video game addition is a serious problem in many parts of the world today and deserves more attention. It is no secret that
children and adults in many countries throughout the world, including Japan, China, and the United States, play video games
every day. Most players are able to limit their usage in ways that do not interfere with their daily lives, but many others have
developed an addiction to playing video games and suffer detrimental effects.
An addiction can be described in several ways, but generally speaking, addictions involve unhealthy attractions to substances
or activities that ultimately disrupt the ability of a person to keep up with regular daily responsibilities. Video game addiction
typically involves playing games uncontrollably for many hours at a time—some people will play only four hours at a time
while others cannot stop for over twenty-four hours. Regardless of the severity of the addiction, many of the same effects will
be experienced by all.
One common effect of video game addiction is isolation and withdrawal from social experiences. Video game players often
hide in their homes or in Internet cafés for days at a time—only reemerging for the most pressing tasks and necessities. The
effect of this isolation can lead to a breakdown of communication skills and often a loss in socialization. While it is true that
many games, especially massive multiplayer online games, involve a very real form of e-based communication and
coordination with others, and these virtual interactions often result in real communities that can be healthy for the players,
these communities and forms of communication rarely translate to the types of valuable social interaction that humans need to
maintain typical social functioning. As a result, the social networking in these online games often gives the users the
impression that they are interacting socially, while their true social lives and personal relations may suffer.
Another unfortunate product of the isolation that often accompanies video game addiction is the disruption of the user’s career.
While many players manage to enjoy video games and still hold their jobs without problems, others experience challenges at
their workplace. Some may only experience warnings or demerits as a result of poorer performance, or others may end up
losing their jobs altogether. Playing video games for extended periods of time often involves sleep deprivation, and this tends
to carry over to the workplace, reducing production and causing habitual tardiness.
Video game addiction may result in a decline in overall health and hygiene. Players who interact with video games for such
significant amounts of time can go an entire day without eating and even longer without basic hygiene tasks, such as using the
restroom or bathing. The effects of this behavior pose significant danger to their overall health.
The causes of video game addiction are complex and can vary greatly, but the effects have the potential to be severe. Playing
video games can and should be a fun activity for all to enjoy. But just like everything else, the amount of time one spends
playing video games needs to be balanced with personal and social responsibilities.

 Key Takeaways
The purpose of the cause-and-effect essay is to determine how various phenomena are related.
The thesis states what the writer sees as the main cause, main effect, or various causes and effects of a condition or event.
The cause-and-effect essay can be organized in one of these two primary ways:
Start with the cause and then talk about the effect.

7.4.2 https://human.libretexts.org/@go/page/5405
 Start with the effect and then talk about the cause.
Strong evidence is particularly important in the cause-and-effect essay due to the complexity of determining connections
between phenomena.
Phrases of causation are helpful in signaling links between various elements in the essay.

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7.5: Student Sample- Cause-and-Effect Essay
Effects of Video Game Addiction
Video game addition is a serious problem in many parts of the world today and deserves more attention. It is no secret that children
and adults in many countries throughout the world, including Japan, China, and the United States, play video games every day.
Most players are able to limit their usage in ways that do not interfere with their daily lives, but many others have developed an
addiction to playing video games and suffer detrimental effects.
An addiction can be described in several ways, but generally speaking, addictions involve unhealthy attractions to substances or
activities that ultimately disrupt the ability of a person to keep up with regular daily responsibilities. Video game addiction typically
involves playing games uncontrollably for many hours at a time—some people will play only four hours at a time while others
cannot stop for over twenty-four hours. Regardless of the severity of the addiction, many of the same effects will be experienced by
all.
One common effect of video game addiction is isolation and withdrawal from social experiences. Video game players often hide in
their homes or in Internet cafés for days at a time—only reemerging for the most pressing tasks and necessities. The effect of this
isolation can lead to a breakdown of communication skills and often a loss in socialization. While it is true that many games,
especially massive multiplayer online games, involve a very real form of e-based communication and coordination with others, and
these virtual interactions often result in real communities that can be healthy for the players, these communities and forms of
communication rarely translate to the types of valuable social interaction that humans need to maintain typical social functioning.
As a result, the social networking in these online games often gives the users the impression that they are interacting socially, while
their true social lives and personal relations may suffer.
Another unfortunate product of the isolation that often accompanies video game addiction is the disruption of the user’s career.
While many players manage to enjoy video games and still hold their jobs without problems, others experience challenges at their
workplace. Some may only experience warnings or demerits as a result of poorer performance, or others may end up losing their
jobs altogether. Playing video games for extended periods of time often involves sleep deprivation, and this tends to carry over to
the workplace, reducing production and causing habitual tardiness.
Video game addiction may result in a decline in overall health and hygiene. Players who interact with video games for such
significant amounts of time can go an entire day without eating and even longer without basic hygiene tasks, such as using the
restroom or bathing. The effects of this behavior pose significant danger to their overall health.
The causes of video game addiction are complex and can vary greatly, but the effects have the potential to be severe. Playing video
games can and should be a fun activity for all to enjoy. But just like everything else, the amount of time one spends playing video
games needs to be balanced with personal and social responsibilities.

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 CHAPTER OVERVIEW

8: Argument Essay
8.1: Introduction to Argument Essay
8.2: Rogerian Argument
8.3: “The Case Against Torture,” by Alisa Soloman
8.4: Writing for Success- Argument
8.5: Student Sample- Argument Essay

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1
8.1: Introduction to Argument Essay
The idea of an argument often conjures up images of two people yelling and screaming in anger. In writing, however, an argument
is very different. An argument is a reasoned opinion supported and explained by evidence. To argue effectively in writing is to
advance knowledge and ideas in a positive, persuasive way. Written arguments often fail when they employ ranting rather than
reasoning.
In this module, you will develop your skills in argumentative and persuasive writing.

Module Outcomes
After successfully completing this module, you should be able to:
1. Determine the purpose and structure of an argumentative essay.
2. Understand how to write an argumentative essay.

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8.2: Rogerian Argument
The Rogerian argument, inspired by the influential psychologist Carl Rogers, aims to find compromise on a controversial issue.
If you are using the Rogerian approach your introduction to the argument should accomplish three objectives:
1. Introduce the author and work
Usually, you will introduce the author and work in the first sentence:

 Example 8.2.1:
In Dwight Okita’s “In Response to Executive Order 9066,” the narrator addresses an inevitable by-product of war – racism.

The first time you refer to the author, refer to him or her by his or her full name. After that, refer to the author by last name only.
Never refer to an author by his or her first name only.
2. Provide the audience a short but concise summary of the work to which you are responding
Remember, your audience has already read the work you are responding to. Therefore, you do not need to provide a lengthy
summary. Focus on the main points of the work to which you are responding and use direct quotations sparingly. Direct quotations
work best when they are powerful and compelling.
3. State the main issue addressed in the work
Your thesis, or claim, will come after you summarize the two sides of the issue.

The Introduction
The following is an example of how the introduction of a Rogerian argument can be written. The topic is racial profiling.

In Dwight Okita’s “In Response to Executive Order 9066,” the narrator — a young
Japanese-American — writes a letter to the government, who has ordered her family into
a relocation camp after Pearl Harbor. In the letter, the narrator details the people in her
life, from her father to her best friend at school. Since the narrator is of Japanese descent,
her best friend accuses her of “trying to start a war” (18). The narrator is seemingly too
naïve to realize the ignorance of this statement, and tells the government that she asked
this friend to plant tomato seeds in her honor. Though Okita’s poem deals specifically with
World War II, the issue of race relations during wartime is still relevant. Recently, with the
outbreaks of terrorism in the United States, Spain, and England, many are calling for
racial profiling to stifle terrorism. The issue has sparked debate, with one side calling it
racism and the other calling it common sense.
Once you have written your introduction, you must now show the two sides to the debate you are addressing. Though there are
always more than two sides to a debate, Rogerian arguments put two in stark opposition to one another. Summarize each side, then
provide a middle path. Your summary of the two sides will be your first two body paragraphs. Use quotations from outside sources
to effectively illustrate the position of each side.
An outline for a Rogerian argument might look like this:
Introduction
Side A
Side B
Claim
Conclusion

The Claim
Since the goal of Rogerian argument is to find a common ground between two opposing positions, you must identify the shared
beliefs or assumptions of each side. In the example above, both sides of the racial profiling issue want the U.S. A solid Rogerian

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argument acknowledges the desires of each side, and tries to accommodate both. Again, using the racial profiling example above,
both sides desire a safer society, perhaps a better solution would focus on more objective measures than race; an effective start
would be to use more screening technology on public transportation. Once you have a claim that disarms the central dispute, you
should support the claim with evidence, and quotations when appropriate.

Quoting Effectively
Remember, you should quote to illustrate a point you are making. You should not, however, quote to simply take up space. Make
sure all quotations are compelling and intriguing: Consider the following example. In “The Danger of Political Correctness,” author
Richard Stein asserts that, “the desire to not offend has now become more important than protecting national security” (52). This
statement sums up the beliefs of those in favor of profiling in public places.

The Conclusion
Your conclusion should:
Bring the essay back to what is discussed in the introduction
Tie up loose ends
End on a thought-provoking note

 Example 8.2.2:

Though the debate over racial profiling is sure to continue, each side desires to make the United States a safer place. With that
goal in mind, our society deserves better security measures than merely searching a person who appears a bit dark. We cannot
waste time with such subjective matters, especially when we have technology that could more effectively locate potential
terrorists. Sure, installing metal detectors and cameras on public transportation is costly, but feeling safe in public is priceless.

Sources
Permission granted from Michael Franco at Writing Essay 4: Rogerian Argument

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8.3: “The Case Against Torture,” by Alisa Soloman
In “The Case Against Torture,” author and professor Alisa Soloman enumerates the reasons torture should never be practiced or
justified in a civil society.
Click on the link to view the essay: “The Case Against Torture” by Alisa Soloman
As you read, look for the following:
What is the author’s thesis?
What key points does the author use to argue the thesis?
How does the author use reasoning, research and/or examples to affirm her viewpoint?
How does the author attempt to refute opposing arguments?

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8.4: Writing for Success- Argument
This section will help you determine the purpose and structure of an argumentative essay.

The Purpose of Argument in Writing

The idea of an argument often conjures up images of two people yelling and screaming in anger. In writing, however, an argument
is very different. An argument is a reasoned opinion supported and explained by evidence. To argue in writing is to advance
knowledge and ideas in a positive way. Written arguments often fail when they employ ranting rather than reasoning.

 tip

Most of us feel inclined to try to win the arguments we engage in. On some level, we all want to be right, and we want others
to see the error of their ways. More times than not, however, arguments in which both sides try to win end up producing losers
all around. The more productive approach is to persuade your audience to consider your opinion as a valid one, not simply the
right one.

The Structure of an Argumentative Essay

The following five features make up the structure of an argumentative essay:
1. Introduction and thesis
2. Opposing and qualifying ideas
3. Strong evidence in support of claim
4. Style and tone of language
5. A compelling conclusion

Creating an Introduction and Thesis

The argumentative essay begins with an engaging introduction that presents the general topic. The thesis typically appears
somewhere in the introduction and states the writer’s point of view.

 tip
Avoid forming a thesis based on a negative claim. For example, “The hourly minimum wage is not high enough for the
average worker to live on.” This is probably a true statement, but arguments should make a positive case that affirms
something. Instead of arguing something “is not…”, an argument essay is stronger when it asserts something “is…” Returning
to the example above, a stronger thesis could focus on how the hourly wage is low or insufficient.

Acknowledging Opposing Ideas and Limits to Your Argument

Because an argument implies differing points of view on the subject, you must be sure to acknowledge those opposing ideas.
Avoiding ideas that conflict with your own gives the reader the impression that you may be uncertain, fearful, or unaware of
opposing ideas. Thus it is essential that you not only address counterarguments but also do so respectfully.
Try to address opposing arguments earlier rather than later in your essay. Rhetorically speaking, ordering your positive arguments
last allows you to better address ideas that conflict with your own, so you can spend the rest of the essay countering those
arguments. This way, you leave your reader thinking about your argument rather than someone else’s. You have the last word.
Acknowledging points of view different from your own also has the effect of fostering more credibility between you and the
audience. They know from the outset that you are aware of opposing ideas and that you are not afraid to give them space.
It is also helpful to establish the limits of your argument and what you are trying to accomplish. In effect, you are conceding early
on that your argument is not the ultimate authority on a given topic. Such humility can go a long way toward earning credibility
and trust with an audience. Audience members will know from the beginning that you are a reasonable writer, and audience
members will trust your argument as a result. For example, in the following concessionary statement, the writer advocates for
stricter gun control laws, but she admits it will not solve all of our problems with crime:

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Although tougher gun control laws are a powerful first step in decreasing violence in our streets, such legislation alone cannot end
these problems since guns are not the only problem we face.
Such a concession will be welcome by those who might disagree with this writer’s argument in the first place. To effectively
persuade their readers, writers need to be modest in their goals and humble in their approach to get readers to listen to the ideas.
Certain transitional words and phrases aid in keeping the reader oriented in the sequencing of a story. Some of these phrases are
listed here:

Phrases of Concession

although granted that

of course still

though yet

Bias in Writing
Everyone has various biases on any number of topics. For example, you might have a bias toward wearing black instead of brightly
colored clothes or wearing jeans rather than formal wear. You might have a bias toward working at night rather than in the
morning, or working by deadlines rather than getting tasks done in advance. These examples identify minor biases, of course, but
they still indicate preferences and opinions.
Handling bias in writing and in daily life can be a useful skill. It will allow you to articulate your own points of view while also
defending yourself against unreasonable points of view. The ideal in persuasive writing is to let your reader know your bias, but do
not let that bias blind you to the primary components of good argumentation: sound, thoughtful evidence and a respectful and
reasonable address of opposing sides.
The strength of a personal bias is that it can motivate you to construct a strong argument. If you are invested in the topic, you are
more likely to care about the piece of writing. Similarly, the more you care, the more time and effort you are apt to put forth and the
better the final product will be.
The weakness of bias is when the bias begins to take over the essay—when, for example, you neglect opposing ideas, exaggerate
your points, or repeatedly insert yourself ahead of the subject by using Itoo often. Being aware of all three of these pitfalls will help
you avoid them.

The Use of I in Writing

The use of I in writing is often a topic of debate, and the acceptance of its usage varies from instructor to instructor. It is difficult to
predict the preferences for all your present and future instructors, but consider the effects it can potentially have on your writing.
Be mindful of the use of I in your writing because it can make your argument sound overly biased. There are two primary reasons:
Excessive repetition of any word will eventually catch the reader’s attention—and usually not in a good way. The use of I is no
different.
The insertion of I into a sentence alters not only the way a sentence might sound but also the composition of the sentence itself.
I is often the subject of a sentence. If the subject of the essay is supposed to be, say, smoking, then by inserting yourself into the
sentence, you are effectively displacing the subject of the essay into a secondary position. In the following example, the subject
of the sentence is underlined:
Smoking is bad. I think smoking is bad.
In the first sentence, the rightful subject, smoking, is in the subject position in the sentence. In the second sentence, the insertion of
I and think replaces smoking as the subject, which draws attention to I and away from the topic that is supposed to be discussed.
Remember to keep the message (the subject) and the messenger (the writer) separate.

Developing Sound Arguments

Use the following checklist to develop sound arguments in your essay:
An engaging introduction
A reasonable, specific thesis that is able to be supported by evidence
A varied range of evidence from credible sources

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 Respectful acknowledgement and explanation of opposing ideas
A style and tone of language that is appropriate for the subject and audience
Acknowledgement of the argument’s limits
A conclusion that will adequately summarize the essay and reinforce the thesis

Fact and Opinion

Facts are statements that can be definitely proven using objective data. The statement that is a fact is absolutely valid. In other
words, the statement can be pronounced as true or false. For example, 2 + 2 = 4. This expression identifies a true statement, or a
fact, because it can be proved with objective data.
Opinions are personal views, or judgments. An opinion is what an individual believes about a particular subject. However, an
opinion in argumentation must have legitimate backing; adequate evidence and credibility should support the opinion. Consider the
credibility of expert opinions. Experts in a given field have the knowledge and credentials to make their opinion meaningful to a
larger audience.
For example, you seek the opinion of your dentist when it comes to the health of your gums, and you seek the opinion of your
mechanic when it comes to the maintenance of your car. Both have knowledge and credentials in those respective fields, which is
why their opinions matter to you. But the authority of your dentist may be greatly diminished should he or she offer an opinion
about your car, and vice versa.
In writing, you want to strike a balance between credible facts and authoritative opinions. Relying on one or the other will likely
lose more of your audience than it gains.
The word prove is frequently used in the discussion of argumentative writing. Writers may claim that one piece of evidence or
another proves the argument, but proving an argument is often not possible. No evidence proves a debatable topic one way or the
other; that is why the topic is debatable. Facts can be proved, but opinions can only be supported, explained, and persuaded.

Using Visual Elements to Strengthen Arguments

Adding visual elements to a persuasive argument can often strengthen its persuasive effect. There are two main types of visual
elements: quantitative visuals and qualitative visuals.
Quantitative visuals present data graphically and visually. They allow the audience to see statistics spatially. The purpose of using
quantitative visuals is to make logical appeals to the audience. For example, sometimes it is easier to understand the disparity in
certain statistics if you can see how the disparity looks graphically. Bar graphs, pie charts, Venn diagrams, histograms, line graphs
and infographics are all ways of presenting quantitative data in visual and/or spatial dimensions.
Qualitative visuals present images that appeal to the audience’s emotions. Photographs and pictorial images are examples of
qualitative visuals. Such images often try to convey a story, and seeing an actual example can carry more power than hearing or
reading about the example. For example, one image of a child suffering from malnutrition will likely have more of an emotional
impact than pages dedicated to describing that same condition in writing.

Writing an Argumentative Essay

Choose a topic that you feel passionate about. If your instructor requires you to write about a specific topic, approach the subject
from an angle that interests you. Begin your essay with an engaging introduction. Your thesis should typically appear somewhere in
your introduction.
Start by acknowledging and explaining points of view that may conflict with your own to build credibility and trust with your
audience. Also state the limits of your argument. This too helps you sound more reasonable and honest to those who may naturally
be inclined to disagree with your view. By respectfully acknowledging opposing arguments and conceding limitations to your own
view, you set a measured and responsible tone for the essay.
Make your appeals in support of your thesis by using sound, credible evidence. Use a balance of facts and opinions from a wide
range of sources, such as scientific studies, expert testimony, statistics, and personal anecdotes. Each piece of evidence should be
fully explained and clearly stated.
Make sure that your style and tone are appropriate for your subject and audience. Tailor your language and word choice to these
two factors, while still being true to your own voice.
Finally, write a conclusion that effectively summarizes the main argument and reinforces your thesis.

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 Example 8.4.1:
Universal Health Care Coverage for the United States
By Scott McLean
The United States is the only modernized Western nation that does not offer publicly funded health care to all its citizens; the
costs of health care for the uninsured in the United States are prohibitive, and the practices of insurance companies are often
more interested in profit margins than providing health care. These conditions are incompatible with US ideals and standards,
and it is time for the US government to provide universal health care coverage for all its citizens. Like education, health care
should be considered a fundamental right of all US citizens, not simply a privilege for the upper and middle classes.
One of the most common arguments against providing universal health care coverage (UHC) is that it will cost too much
money. In other words, UHC would raise taxes too much. While providing health care for all US citizens would cost a lot of
money for every tax-paying citizen, citizens need to examine exactly how much money it would cost, and more important, how
much money is “too much” when it comes to opening up health care for all. Those who have health insurance already pay too
much money, and those without coverage are charged unfathomable amounts. The cost of publicly funded health care versus
the cost of current insurance premiums is unclear. In fact, some Americans, especially those in lower income brackets, could
stand to pay less than their current premiums.
However, even if UHC would cost Americans a bit more money each year, we ought to reflect on what type of country we
would like to live in, and what types of morals we represent if we are more willing to deny health care to others on the basis of
saving a couple hundred dollars per year. In a system that privileges capitalism and rugged individualism, little room remains
for compassion and love. It is time that Americans realize the amorality of US hospitals forced to turn away the sick and poor.
UHC is a health care system that aligns more closely with the core values that so many Americans espouse and respect, and it
is time to realize its potential.
Another common argument against UHC in the United States is that other comparable national health care systems, like that of
England, France, or Canada, are bankrupt or rife with problems. UHC opponents claim that sick patients in these countries
often wait in long lines or long wait lists for basic health care. Opponents also commonly accuse these systems of being unable
to pay for themselves, racking up huge deficits year after year. A fair amount of truth lies in these claims, but Americans must
remember to put those problems in context with the problems of the current US system as well. It is true that people often wait
to see a doctor in countries with UHC, but we in the United States wait as well, and we often schedule appointments weeks in
advance, only to have onerous waits in the doctor’s “waiting rooms.”
Critical and urgent care abroad is always treated urgently, much the same as it is treated in the United States. The main
difference there, however, is cost. Even health insurance policy holders are not safe from the costs of health care in the United
States. Each day an American acquires a form of cancer, and the only effective treatment might be considered “experimental”
by an insurance company and thus is not covered. Without medical coverage, the patient must pay for the treatment out of
pocket. But these costs may be so prohibitive that the patient will either opt for a less effective, but covered, treatment; opt for
no treatment at all; or attempt to pay the costs of treatment and experience unimaginable financial consequences. Medical bills
in these cases can easily rise into the hundreds of thousands of dollars, which is enough to force even wealthy families out of
their homes and into perpetual debt. Even though each American could someday face this unfortunate situation, many still
choose to take the financial risk. Instead of gambling with health and financial welfare, US citizens should press their
representatives to set up UHC, where their coverage will be guaranteed and affordable.
Despite the opponents’ claims against UHC, a universal system will save lives and encourage the health of all Americans. Why
has public education been so easily accepted, but not public health care? It is time for Americans to start thinking socially
about health in the same ways they think about education and police services: as rights of US citizens.

 key takeaways
The purpose of argument in writing is to convince or move readers toward a certain point of view, or opinion.
An argument is a reasoned opinion supported and explained by evidence. To argue, in writing, is to advance knowledge and
ideas in a positive way.
A thesis that expresses the opinion of the writer in more specific terms is better than one that is vague.
It is essential that you not only address counterarguments but also do so respectfully.

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 It is also helpful to establish the limits of your argument and what you are trying to accomplish through a concession
statement.
To persuade a skeptical audience, you will need to use a wide range of evidence. Scientific studies, opinions from experts,
historical precedent, statistics, personal anecdotes, and current events are all types of evidence that you might use in
explaining your point.
Make sure that your word choice and writing style is appropriate for both your subject and your audience.
You should let your reader know your bias, but do not let that bias blind you to the primary components of good
argumentation: sound, thoughtful evidence and respectfully and reasonably addressing opposing ideas.
You should be mindful of the use of I in your writing because it can make your argument sound more biased than it needs
to.
Facts are statements that can be proven using objective data.
Opinions are personal views, or judgments, that cannot be proven.
In writing, you want to strike a balance between credible facts and authoritative opinions.
Quantitative visuals present data graphically. The purpose of using quantitative visuals is to make logical appeals to the
audience.
Qualitative visuals present images that appeal to the audience’s emotions.

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8.5: Student Sample- Argument Essay
Instructions: Read the student essay, “Salvaging Our Old-Growth Forests.” First read the NON-ANNOTATED student essay, and
then compare it to the ANNOTATED version of the same essay. Notice how the annotated comments analyze and respond to the
essay.
As you review the annotations, notice how the feedback tracks the logical flow of the author’s arguments. The annotation
comments are aimed at helping the author strengthen the power of the argument essay. This is a model for helpful annotation and
feedback you can provide when you do the writing community review of your peers’ argument essays.

Non-Annotated Student Essay

Click on the link to view the NON-ANNOTATED version of the student essay: “Salvaging Our Old-Growth Forests,” by
Linder

Annotated Student Essay

Click on the link to view the ANNOTATED version of the student essay: “Salvaging Our Old-Growth Forests,” by Linder

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 CHAPTER OVERVIEW

9: Grammar and Mechanics Mini-lessons

9.1: Grammar and Mechanics Mini-Lessons
9.2: Subjects and Verbs, Irregular Verbs, Subject Verb Agreement
9.3: Sentence Types
9.4: Fragments I
9.5: Run-ons and Comma Splices I
9.6: Comma Usage
9.7: Parallelism
9.8: The Apostrophe
9.9: Capital Letters
9.10: Grammar Practice- Interactive Quizzes
9.11: De Copia- Demonstration of the Variety of Language
9.12: Style Exercise- Voice

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1
9.1: Grammar and Mechanics Mini-Lessons
Use these mini-lessons on grammar and writing mechanics to develop your writing skills based on feedback from the instructor and
Writing Community Reviews. They include:
Subjects and Verbs, Irregular Verbs, and Subject-Verb Agreement
Sentence Types
Fragments I
Run-ons and Comma Splices I
Comma Usage
Parallelism
The Apostrophe
Capital Letters
Each lesson contains brief videos to teach you or refresh your understanding of proper grammar, punctuation and usage.

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9.2: Subjects and Verbs, Irregular Verbs, Subject Verb Agreement
To refresh your understanding of subjects, verbs, irregular verbs and subject-verb agreement, review the videos below:
Subject and Verbs

What is the Subject of a Sentence?

Subject-Verb Agreement

English - Subject/Verb Agreement

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9.3: Sentence Types
To refresh your understanding of different types of sentences, their grammar and structure, review the videos below:
Simple Sentences and Compound Sentences

Simple sentences and compound sente…

sente…

Complex Sentences

Complex Sentences

Compound Complex Sentences

Compound complex sentences

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9.4: Fragments I
To refresh your understanding of sentence fragments, review the videos below:
Sentence Fragments

"Sentence Fragments" | English Gramm…

Gramm…

Sentence Fragments, How to Identify and Correct Them in Writing

Sentence Fragments

Sentences and Sentence Fragments

Oh, My Grammar! 004: Sentence and Se…

Se…

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9.5: Run-ons and Comma Splices I
To refresh your understanding of run-on sentences and comma splice sentences, review the videos below:
Run-on Sentences

"Run On Sentences" | English Grammar …

Comma Splices and How to Fix Them

Writing in English: Comma Splices & 4 e…

e…

How to Avoid Run-on Sentences

How to Avoid Run-On Sentences

Identify and Fix Comma Splices

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 Writing Felonies: Comma Splices

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9.6: Comma Usage
To refresh your understanding of how to correctly use commas, review the videos below:
How to Use Commas – Overview

How to Use Commas in English Writing

Using Commas Correctly

How to Use Commas Correctly - Punctu

Punctu……

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9.7: Parallelism
To strengthen your understanding of parallelism in sentence structure, review the videos below:
Parallelism in Writing – What it is and how to avoid problems

Parallelism

Parallelism in Grammar

Parallelism in Grammar

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9.8: The Apostrophe
To strengthen your understanding of how to use apostrophes correctly, review the video below:
Using Apostrophes in Written English

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9.9: Capital Letters
To strengthen your understanding of proper use of capitalization in written English, review the video below:
Capitalization in English Grammar and Writing

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9.10: Grammar Practice- Interactive Quizzes
For additional grammar practice, choose the topic(s) you want to develop by taking interactive quizzes from the Guide to Grammar
and Writing on the following site.
Click the link to access the site: Grammar Practice Site

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9.11: De Copia- Demonstration of the Variety of Language
In De Copia, Erasmus re-writes the same sentence over and over to demonstrate the variety of language.
You will be assigned a sentence to re-write 25–30 times.
Here is one example:

30 variations of “A loud sound awakes me in the night”

1. In the bewitching hour, a resonant buzz raises me out of my crib.
2. A noisy growl returns me to my consciousness in the dead of night.
3. After dark, I am wide-awake because of a powerful bang.
4. I can no longer sleep due to the harsh noise in darkness of the day
5. I rise out of bed because of a deafening noise in the nighttime.
6. At the time when the moon is out high and bright, I become conscious due to a resonant sound.
7. A crazy roaring awake me at the darkness of the day.
8. In the night, a blaring sound wakes me up.
9. The god of sleep has abandoned me when a loud noise strikes out in the night.
10. In the dark hours, a big wave of sound had me awakened.
11. I am awakened by the vociferous noise after dark.
12. I am forced to end my body resting process at bedtime due to a powerful boom after dark.
13. An extremely harsh buzz forces me out of my dream at the bewitching hour.
14. I am left alone by the god of dream and nightmare when a noisy sound bothers my ears.
15. In the night, a loud sound wakes me up.
16. After dark, I rise out of my crib because of an annoying wailing.
17. I wake up because of a heavy bang in the dark hours.
18. I become conscious due to a resonant sound in the dark time of the day.
19. After dark, an intense buzz forces me out of my body resting process.
20. I am awakened by the thundering sound when the sun had rested long time ago.
21. A powerful boom makes me rise out of my sleepiness in the pitch black.
22. A heavy cry awakes me in the dead of night.
23. A deafening noise in the nighttime has me rise out of bed.
24. An unpleasant sound has awakened me after dark.
25. At a bewitching hour, a blaring noise wakes me up.
26. My dream ends abruptly because of a noisy growl in the pitch-black time of the day.
27. In the night, I come to my conscious due to the blaring noise.
28. When the moon shines bright and high, I am forced out of my dream because of a thundering sound.
29. My sleep is ended when I hear a loud noise after dark.
30. In the night, a resonant howl awakes me.

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9.12: Style Exercise- Voice
The de copia exercise is useful in showing how style—the third canon of rhetoric (invention, arrangement, style, memory, and
delivery)—has a major impact on one’s writing. Paragraphs and essays that feature combined and varied sentences often shine the
most.
For this exercise, I would like for you to try to transform your own writing to mimic another’s voice. This type of exercise is
designed to help make you think about the choices a writer makes in designing his or her writing style.
You’ll complete four steps:
Write a brief one-paragraph story that describes a key quality of yours to someone not in our class.
Read the some sample passages and note their distinct writing styles. These are in very different genres, of course, but that’s
part of the fun.
Mimic one of those writing styles to re-tell your story. You can choose a different “audience” for your description if you’d like.
Answer the questions: What choices did you make in re-designing your story? What obstacles did you face? How would you
characterize your voice vs. the one you mimicked?

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Index

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Glossary
Sample Word 1 | Sample Definition 1

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Detailed Licensing
Overview
Title: English Composition I: Rhetorical Methods–Based (Lumen)
Webpages: 91
All licenses found:
CC BY 4.0: 98.9% (90 pages)
Undeclared: 1.1% (1 page)

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TitlePage - CC BY 4.0 Guidelines - CC BY 4.0
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Table of Contents - Undeclared 3.1: Definitional Argument Essay - CC BY 4.0
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 6.4: “A South African Storm” by Allison Howard - 9: Grammar and Mechanics Mini-lessons - CC BY 4.0
CC BY 4.0 9.1: Grammar and Mechanics Mini-Lessons - CC BY
6.5: Writing for Success- Compare/Contrast - CC BY 4.0
4.0 9.2: Subjects and Verbs, Irregular Verbs, Subject Verb
6.6: Student Sample- Compare/Contrast Essay - CC Agreement - CC BY 4.0
BY 4.0 9.3: Sentence Types - CC BY 4.0
7: Cause-and-Effect Essay - CC BY 4.0 9.4: Fragments I - CC BY 4.0
7.1: Introduction to Cause-and-Effect Essay - CC BY 9.5: Run-ons and Comma Splices I - CC BY 4.0
4.0 9.6: Comma Usage - CC BY 4.0
7.2: “Cultural Baggage” by Barbara Ehrenreich - CC 9.7: Parallelism - CC BY 4.0
BY 4.0 9.8: The Apostrophe - CC BY 4.0
7.3: “Women in Science” by K.C. Cole - CC BY 4.0 9.9: Capital Letters - CC BY 4.0
7.4: Writing for Success- Cause and Effect - CC BY 9.10: Grammar Practice- Interactive Quizzes - CC BY
4.0 4.0
7.5: Student Sample- Cause-and-Effect Essay - CC 9.11: De Copia- Demonstration of the Variety of
BY 4.0 Language - CC BY 4.0
9.12: Style Exercise- Voice - CC BY 4.0
8: Argument Essay - CC BY 4.0
Back Matter - CC BY 4.0
8.1: Introduction to Argument Essay - CC BY 4.0
8.2: Rogerian Argument - CC BY 4.0 Index - CC BY 4.0
8.3: “The Case Against Torture,” by Alisa Soloman - Glossary - CC BY 4.0
CC BY 4.0 Detailed Licensing - CC BY 4.0
8.4: Writing for Success- Argument - CC BY 4.0
8.5: Student Sample- Argument Essay - CC BY 4.0

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