DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR
COUPLES
The Discussion Guide is a complement to your assessment results and it provides
additional insights and discussion prompts about various relationship topics.
To get the most out of your results, we recommend first reading through
the following sections: Preparing for Discussion, Checking Out Your Results,
and Defining the Journey. We suggest you then make your way through the
three central relationship topics: Communication, Dealing with Conflict and
Personality (noted in green). You can choose which of the remaining topics
(noted in orange) you work through and in which order. If you and your partner
disagree whether or not to discuss a topic, we suggest discussing it.
Since this is not a workbook, there is no need to write out your answers to
questions. Though, if you prefer to journal or keep notes on your discussions,
grab a notebook!
Each topic area has a discussion section where you’ll find questions or prompts
to encourage conversation. Remember, you and your partner are controlling the
discussion, so whether you want to answer one question or all the questions,
it’s up to you and your partner to decide what feels right. For the questions you
decide to discuss, it doesn’t always explicitly instruct both partners to answer,
but we would encourage you to reciprocate if your partner answers. If you don’t
have an answer, talk about the fact that you don’t have an answer.
To avoid one partner dominating the conversation, take turns reading the
questions, or at least take turns answering first. You don’t have to be technical
and tally your responses, but keep in mind these little things that help set the
tone for fairness.
The final and most important thing to consider when embarking on this journey
with your partner is application into your actual life with one another. We want
to make sure you are equipped to apply new insights and learnings to your life
in a responsible way. Try making small changes to better connect with your
partner instead of changing everything at once. And of course seeking help
from a professional is a great option.
© Copyright 2017 PREPARE/ENRICH, LLC 3
checklist
$
Communication
Dealing with Conflict
Personality
Balancing I and We
Commitment
Expectations
Family & Friends
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Forgiveness
Free Time
Intimacy
Money
Parenting
Roles
Spirituality
COMMUNICATION
If you read Preparing to
Discuss, then you’re already
aware of some tips on how to
have great communication in
discussions with your partner.
Sure, we communicate with
our partners, but the quality
(which really matters) is not
always a concern. Productive,
supportive, positive
communication is vital to
relationship health.
FOCUS ON THE GOOD
When communicating
with your partner, try to
avoid blame, criticism,
and judgement. Instead,
focus on the good!
16 © Copyright 2017 PREPARE/ENRICH, LLC
+ Give praise to your partner and
share affirmations which help
increase the overall quality of
communication.
There are two skills that will help statements instead of starting
shape a positive environment with “you.” The process of active
for communication in your listening lets the speaker know
relationship: assertiveness if their message was accurately
and active listening. To be received. It’s imperative for the
assertive, it’s important to take listener to acknowledge the
responsibility for your thoughts content and the feelings of the
and feelings by using “I” speaker.
Assertiveness is expressing Active listening is listening
your feelings and asking attentively without
for what you want in the interrupting and restating
relationship. what was heard.
© Copyright 2017 PREPARE/ENRICH, LLC 17
Discussion
// Consider
attention—How
// When is it difficult to communicate
with your partner? What makes it easy
do you give your full to communicate with your partner? How is
attention when your the subject matter an indicator of difficulty
partner is speaking? or ease? How do other environmental factors
What distractions (time of day, etc.) play a role?
make it difficult to
concentrate on your
partner? How do
you know you have
your partner’s full
// What are other ways you communicate
with your partner outside of verbal
attention when you interactions? What non-verbal ways do you
are speaking? and your partner communicate? Brainstorm
new ways to communicate with one another
(a note left by their keys, a wink across the
//
room, a kind text message, etc.).
Think about
what is going
on in your mind
when your partner
is speaking. How
// What are your partner’s needs? What
are your needs? How do you advocate
do you show you for your needs? How can asking about their
are truly processing needs and advocating for your own help your
the message they relationship?
are sending versus
already formulating a
response?
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CHECK IN
Check in with your results
by reviewing the Communication section of your report.
Are you surprised by the suggested discussion items?
COUPLE RESULTS
INDIVIDUAL RESULTS
Does this accurately reflect how you feel about communication
in your relationship?
© Copyright 2017 PREPARE/ENRICH, LLC 19
TAKEAWAY
Communication is the foundation of your relationship; you and
your partner rely on healthy communication skills to productively
work through both celebrations and struggles in your relationship.
APPLICATION
Focus on the good in your relationship every day by giving your
partner a compliment or sharing an appreciation. Have some fun
with this and get creative, but make sure to always be genuine.
NEXT STEPS
Plan a specific time to check in with your partner about your
relationship and life together.
+
Don’t use this time to decide who is going to pick up your
daughter from soccer practice or whose turn it is to go to the
grocery store.
Use this time to communicate about aspects of
your relationship you overlook or take for granted.
Try to check in daily for a period of time and see
the impact it has on your overall communication.
20 © Copyright 2017 PREPARE/ENRICH, LLC
building strong marriages and healthy relationships
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