Dear Tommy
I wanted to write you a final letter. I want to start off and say I am truly
sorry for how I chose to end things and that’s the one thing I regret about us.
You’ve given me an amazing learning experience, and I hope that you can agree on
that. It’s okay if you don’t and if you hate me now that’s okay too. I was just
upset the day I ended things over text I was upset because of how our last
interaction ended. I felt so awkward and weird and it was the first time that I
felt deeply uncomfortable being with you.
I hated the overall mood you set in place for the weekend and withheld your
emotions from me. You were unlike yourself and I just wanted to know what was
wrong. I was fed up by Wednesday you didn’t text or call to explain what was going
on with you. You had done this exact thing so many times in the past, this is where
the eggshell feeling was coming from never knowing if something happened outside of
us or if I did something to upset you. I just don’t get whats so scary about
telling me the truth about how you feel. It hurts me because it feels like you
don’t trust me and maybe you don’t, but why?
I wanted us to grow together I wanted us to be more than just partners. I wanted
us to be best friends. I wanted us to share our baggage and work through it
together. I wanted you to tell me about the worst parts of your day in the best
parts of your day. I wanted you to tell me more about your family and what you
don’t like and what you do like, I wanted us to have open communication about how
we feel about our relationship and what we want to change. It’s even weird when I
tell you personal things going on with me because it’s something that’s not
naturally present in our relationship talking to you about my personal things just
feels distant. There were times where I felt you were truly disinterested in my
personal life because of your overall response and your slight lack empathy.
There’s so many things that I wanted to share with you and honestly the things
that I wanted to share would have change the way you saw me and the way you saw our
relationship but I was just too scared. I wanted to tell you about these things so
badly but there’s no point now given the status of our relationship now.
I love you Tommy I truly do and you’ve taught me so much you’ve made me laugh
and you’ve made me laugh to the point of tears. I’ve enjoyed singing with you and
doing all my nerdy things with you and you doing all your nerdy things with me.
Things were great when they were, and I’ll never forget you. I don’t know if I’ll
ever see you again, but I hope if I do, it’s on good terms and how can I forget
about the one thing I’ll deeply miss is the animal kingdom. Give Joni so much of my
love and Snap as well.
Lastly, I want to say thank you Tommy for being in my life for the time that you
were and I hope everything works out for you. I hope you find your person. Be kind
to yourself.
Love, Tyler.
