ISSN: 2573-9565

Research Article Journal of Clinical Review & Case Reports

Cold herapy and Narcissistic Disorders of the Self
Sam Vaknin
*
Corresponding author
Dr. Sam Vaknin, Visiting Professor of Psychology, Southern Federal University,
Visiting Professor of Psychology, Southern Federal University, Rostov-on-Don, Russia, E-mail: samvaknin@gmail.com
Rostov-on-Don, Russia
Submitted: 23 July 2018; Accepted: 27 July 2018; Published: 05 Aug 2018

Abstract
For well over a century, since the publication of Freud’s seminal “On Narcissism” in 1914, pathological narcissism was widely
considered to be a disorder of the “character” or the personality. This culminated in the 1980s and 1990s with the inclusion of
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) in the third, fourth and text revision editions of the Diagnostic and statistical Manual
(DSM).

Cold Therapy is based on two premises: (1) That narcissistic disorders are actually forms of complex post-traumatic conditions and
not disorders of the personality; and (2) That narcissists are the outcomes of arrested development and attachment dysfunctions.
Consequently, Cold Therapy borrows techniques from child psychology and from treatment modalities used to deal with PTSD.

Cold Therapy consists of the re-traumatization of the narcissistic client in a hostile, non-holding environment which resembles
the ambience of the original trauma. The adult patient successfully tackles this second round of hurt and thus resolves early
childhood conlicts and achieves closure rendering his now maladaptive narcissistic defenses redundant, unnecessary, and
obsolete. In the process, both transference and countertransference are encouraged in order to most closely recreate the roles
of the original “perpetrator” of abuse (abuser) and his or her victim (the patient or client).

Cold Therapy makes use of proprietary techniques such as erasure (suppressing the client’s speech and free expression and
gaining clinical information and insights from his reactions to being so stiled). Other techniques include: grandiosity reframing,
guided imagery, negative iteration, other-scoring, happiness map, mirroring, escalation, role play, assimilative confabulation,
hyper vigilant referencing, and re-parenting.

Paper Pathological narcissism is also not an adult disorder but an

Reconceiving Pathological Narcissism attachment dysfunction coupled with arrested development. It is
For well over a century, since the publication of Freud’s seminal “On therefore reactive to techniques borrowed from child psychology.
Narcissism” in 1914, pathological narcissism was widely considered
to be a disorder of the “character” or the personality. This culminated Finally: pathological narcissism can also be conceived not as a
in the 1980s and 1990s with the inclusion of Narcissistic Personality disorder of the self, but as an interpersonal disorder.
Disorder (NPD) in the third, fourth and text revision editions of the
Diagnostic and statistical Manual (DSM). “When alarmed, child seeks proximity to caregiver (safe base).
But proximity to frightening caregiver increases alarm” (Hazen
There are four misconceptions about pathological narcissism: and McFarland, 2010). The child reacts by attaching itself to an
a. It is not only a regression to an earlier childhood developmental imaginary caregiver: the narcissist’s False Self is godlike in its
phase; perfection, omniscience, and omnipotence. In some way, narcissism
b. It is not merely a psychological defense; can be construed as a private religion with the False Self as the deity.
c. It is not simply an organizing principle or a schema;
d. It is not a personality disorder. Re-traumatization as Healing
Foa and Kozak were the irst to explore traumatization as a curative
Pathological narcissism is a post-traumatic condition, amenable to process (1985). It:
trauma therapies. It is a reaction to prolonged abuse and trauma in a. Resolves early conlicts;
early childhood or early adolescence. The source of the abuse or b. Achieves closure;
trauma is immaterial - the perpetrators could be parents, teachers, c. Counters avoidance, helplessness, and depression
other adults, or peers. Pampering, smothering, spoiling, and
“enguling” the child are also forms of abuse.

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Via a controlled and tiered triggering of the client (trauma simulation, no one would like to be with me”), the itemizing of our inner
stressing) in a deliberately hostile and non-holding environment dialogues and narratives and of our repeated behavioural patterns
which aims to generate a facsimile of the environment of the Primary (learned behaviours) coupled with positive (and, rarely, negative)
or Originating Trauma. reinforcements – are used to induce a cumulative emotional effect
tantamount to healing.
The adult patient emerges from the ordeal “alive and well”: he
survives the re-traumatization and successfully copes with it, this Psychodynamic theories reject the notion that cognition can inluence
time as an adult. emotion. Healing requires access to and the study of much deeper
strata by both patient and therapist. The very exposure of these
The patient’s maladaptive narcissism (cognitions, beliefs, emotions) strata to the therapeutic is considered suficient to induce a dynamic
is rendered redundant, unnecessary, and obsolete as a coping strategy. of healing.
As a consequence of the principle of mental economy (the optimal
allocation of mental resources to foster and uphold functionality), The therapist’s role is either to interpret the material revealed to
the client discards his pathological narcissism. the patient (psychoanalysis) by allowing the patient to transfer
past experience and superimpose it on the therapist – or to provide
The construct of the False Self survives this process as godlike a safe emotional and holding environment conducive to changes
(private religion), an inverted and compensatory self-image, a signal in the patient.
(it elicits supply), a decoy for pain and hurt. It re-interprets the
narcissist’s behaviors and actions in a socially-acceptable light, and The sad fact is that no known therapy is effective with narcissism
emulates (combines cold empathy with emotional resonance tables). itself, though a few therapies are reasonably successful as far as
coping with some of its effects goes (behavioural modiication).
The Goals of Cold Therapy
Process trauma via skilled reliving Dynamic Psychotherapy, or Psychodynamic Therapy,
Foster more adaptive functioning Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy
Replace negative with positive coping This is not psychoanalysis. It is an intensive psychotherapy based
Integrate distressing materials (thoughts, feelings, memories) on psychoanalytic theory without the (very important) element of
Lead to internal resolution and homeostasis free association. This is not to say that free association is not used in
Aid the growth of skills: resilience, ego regulation, empathy these therapies – only that it is not a pillar of the technique. Dynamic
therapies are usually applied to patients not considered “suitable” for
The Narcissist in Therapy psychoanalysis (such as those suffering from personality disorders,
Narcissism pervades the entire personality. It is all-pervasive. Being a except the Avoidant PD).
narcissist is akin to being an alcoholic but much more so. Alcoholism
is an impulsive behaviour. Narcissists exhibit dozens of similarly Typically, different modes of interpretation are employed and other
reckless behaviours, some of them uncontrollable (like their rage, techniques borrowed from other treatments modalities. But the
the outcome of their wounded grandiosity). Narcissism is not a material interpreted is not necessarily the result of free association
vocation or a choice. Narcissism resembles depression or other or dreams and the psychotherapist is a lot more active than the
disorders and cannot be changed at will. psychoanalyst.

Adult pathological narcissism is no more “curable” than the entirety Psychodynamic therapies are open-ended. At the commencement of
of one’s personality is disposable. The patient is a narcissist. the therapy, the therapist (analyst) makes an agreement (a “pact” or
Narcissism is more akin to the colour of one’s skin rather than to “alliance”) with the analysand (patient or client). The pact says that
one’s choice of subjects at the university. the patient undertakes to explore his problems for as long as may
be needed. This is supposed to make the therapeutic environment
There are many types of narcissists: Overt/classic/grandiose, much more relaxed because the patient knows that the analyst is at
covert/shy/fragile/vulnerable, inverted, somatic, cerebral, acquired his/her disposal no matter how many meetings would be required
situational, high-functioning/exhibitionist, in order to broach painful subject matter.

Moreover, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is frequently Sometimes, these therapies are divided to expressive versus
diagnosed with other, even more intractable personality disorders, supportive, but I regard this division as misleading.
mental illnesses, and substance abuse. Comorbidity is common
with other personality, eating, mood disorders and autism spectrum Expressive means uncovering (making conscious) the patient’s
disorders. conlicts and studying his or her defences and resistances. The
analyst interprets the conlict in view of the new knowledge gained
Treatment modalities used with narcissism: CBT/CEBT/REBT, and guides the therapy towards a resolution of the conlict. The
DBT, Schema, Dynamic, psychoanalysis, Gestalt, Group therapy, conlict, in other words, is “interpreted away” through insight and
and Cold Therapy. the change in the patient motivated by his/her insights.

Cognitive-Behavioural Therapies (CBTs) The supportive therapies seek to strengthen the Ego. Their premise is
CBTs postulate that insight – even if merely verbal and intellectual that a strong Ego can cope better (and later on, alone) with external
– is suficient to induce an emotional outcome. Verbal cues, (situational) or internal (instinctual, related to drives) pressures.
analyses of mantras we keep repeating (“I am ugly”, “I am afraid Supportive therapies seek to increase the patient’s ability to Repress

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conlicts (rather than bring them to the surface of consciousness). to deceive their therapists.

When the patient’s painful conlicts are suppressed, the attendant Here are some hard facts
dysphorias and symptoms vanish or are ameliorated. This is • There are gradations and shades of narcissism. The differences
somewhat reminiscent of behaviourism (the main aim is to change between two narcissists can be great. The existence of grandiosity
behaviour and to relieve symptoms). It usually makes no use of and empathy or lack thereof are not minor variations. They are
insight or interpretation (though there are exceptions). serious predictors of future psychodynamics. The prognosis is
much better if they do exist.
Group Therapies • There are cases of spontaneous healing, Acquired Situational
Narcissists are notoriously unsuitable for collaborative efforts of any Narcissis, and of “short-term NPD” [see Gunderson’s and
kind, let alone group therapy. They immediately size up others as Ronningstam work, 1996].
potential Sources of Narcissistic Supply – or as potential competitors. • The prognosis for a classical narcissist (grandiosity, lack of
They idealise the irst (suppliers) and devalue the latter (competitors). empathy and all) is decidedly not good as far as long-term,
This, obviously, is not very conducive to group therapy. lasting, and complete healing. Moreover, narcissists are
intensely disliked by therapists.
Moreover, the dynamic of the group is bound to relect the interactions
of its members. Narcissists are individualists. They regard coalitions BUT
with disdain and contempt. The need to resort to team work, to adhere • Side effects, co-morbid disorders (such as Obsessive-Compulsive
to group rules, to succumb to a moderator, and to honour and respect behaviors) and some aspects of NPD (the dysphorias, the
the other members as equals is perceived by them to be humiliating persecutory delusions, the sense of entitlement, the pathological
and degrading (a contemptible weakness). Thus, a group containing lying) can be modiied (using talk therapy and, depending on
one or more narcissists is likely to luctuate between short-term, the problem, medication). These are not long-term or complete
very small size, coalitions (based on “superiority” and contempt) solutions – but some of them do have long-term effects.
and narcissistic outbreaks (acting outs) of rage and coercion. • The DSM is a billing and administration oriented diagnostic
tool. It is intended to “tidy” up the psychiatrist’s desk. The Axis
Can Narcissism be cured? II Personality Disorders are ill demarcated. The differential
Adult narcissists can rarely be “cured”, though some scholars think diagnoses are vaguely deined. There are some cultural biases
otherwise. Still: the earlier the therapeutic intervention the better and judgements [see the diagnostic criteria of the Schizotypal
the prognosis. A correct diagnosis and a proper mix of treatment and Antisocial PDs]. The result is sizeable confusion and
modalities in early adolescence guarantees success without relapse multiple diagnoses (“co-morbidity”). NPD was introduced to
in anywhere between one third and one half the cases. Additionally, the DSM in 1980 [DSM-III]. There isn’t enough research to
ageing moderates or even vanquishes some antisocial behaviour. substantiate any view or hypothesis about NPD. Future DSM
editions may abolish it altogether within the framework of a
In their seminal tome, “Personality Disorders in Modern Life”, cluster or a single “personality disorder” category. When we
Theodore Millon and Roger Davis write ask: “Can NPD be healed?” we need to realise that we don’t
know for sure what is NPD and what constitutes long-term
“Most narcissists strongly resist psychotherapy. For those who healing in the case of an NPD. There are those who seriously
choose to remain in therapy, there are several pitfalls that are claim that NPD is a cultural disease (culture-bound) with a
dificult to avoid ... Interpretation and even general assessment societal determinant.
are often dificult to accomplish...”
Narcissists in Therapy
The third edition of the “Oxford Textbook of Psychiatry”. “... In therapy, the general idea is to create the conditions for the True
People cannot change their natures, but can only change their Self to resume its growth: safety, predictability, justice, love and
situations. There has been some progress in inding ways acceptance - a mirroring, re-parenting, and holding environment.
of effecting small changes in disorders of personality, but Therapy is supposed to provide these conditions of nurturance
management still consists largely of helping the person to ind and guidance (through transference, cognitive re-labelling or other
a way of life that conlicts less with his character ... Whatever methods). The narcissist must learn that his past experiences are not
treatment is used, aims should be modest and considerable time laws of nature, that not all adults are abusive, that relationships can
should be allowed to achieve them.” be nurturing and supportive.

The fourth edition of the authoritative “Review of General Most therapists try to co-opt the narcissist’s inlated ego (False Self)
Psychiatry”. “(People with personality disorders) ... cause and defences. They compliment the narcissist, challenging him to
resentment and possibly even alienation and burnout in the prove his omnipotence by overcoming his disorder. They appeal
healthcare professionals who treat them ... (p. 318) Long- to his quest for perfection, brilliance, and eternal love - and his
term psychoanalytic psychotherapy and psychoanalysis have paranoid tendencies - in an attempt to get rid of counterproductive,
been attempted with (narcissists), although their use has been self-defeating, and dysfunctional behaviour patterns.
controversial.”
By stroking the narcissist’s grandiosity, they hope to modify or
The reason narcissism is under-reported and healing over-stated is counter cognitive deicits, thinking errors, and the narcissist’s victim-
that therapists are being fooled by smart narcissists. Most narcissists stance. They contract with the narcissist to alter his conduct. Some
are expert manipulators and consummate actors and they learn how even go to the extent of medicalizing the disorder, attributing it
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to a hereditary or biochemical origin and thus “absolving” the of the self. In twinship or alter ego transference, the other is
narcissist from his responsibility and freeing his mental resources experienced as being like the self. Lastly, in mirror transference
to concentrate on the therapy. properly speaking, the analyst is experienced as a function in
service of the patient’s needs. If the patient feels recognized, he
Confronting the narcissist head on and engaging in power politics experiences a sense of well-being linked to the restoration of
(“I am cleverer”, “My will should prevail”, and so on) is decidedly his narcissism.
unhelpful and could lead to rage attacks and a deepening of the
narcissist’s persecutory delusions, bred by his humiliation in the Mirror transference can be primary, the reaction to a broken
therapeutic setting. idealizing transference, or secondary to one of these. In The
Restoration of the Self (1977), Kohut distinguished it from alter
Successes have been reported by applying 12-step techniques (as ego transference. Some authors have refused to consider this
modiied for patients suffering from the Antisocial Personality transference as being a result of the evolution of narcissism;
Disorder), and with treatment modalities as diverse as NLP they have seen it as a defense.”
(Neurolinguistic Programming), Schema Therapy, and EMDR (Eye
Movement Desensitization). Narcissists generally are averse to being medicated. Resorting
to medicines is an implied admission that something is wrong.
But, whatever the type of talk therapy, the narcissist devalues the Narcissists are control freaks and hate to be “under the inluence”
therapist. His internal dialogue is: “I know best, I know it all, the of “mind altering” drugs prescribed to them by others.
therapist is less intelligent than I, and I can’t afford the top level
therapists who are the only ones qualiied to treat me (as my equals, Additionally, many of them believe that medication is the “great
needless to say), I am actually a therapist myself…” equaliser” – it will make them lose their uniqueness, superiority and
so on. That is unless they can convincingly present the act of taking
A litany of self-delusion and fantastic grandiosity (really, defences their medicines as “heroism”, a daring enterprise of self-exploration,
and resistances) ensues: “He (my therapist) should be my colleague, part of a breakthrough clinical trial, and so on.
in certain respects it is he who should accept my professional
authority, why won’t he be my friend, and after all I can use the They often claim that the medicine affects them differently than it
lingo (psycho-babble) even better than he does? It’s us (him and does other people, or that they have discovered a new, exciting way
me) against a hostile and ignorant world (shared psychosis, folie of using it, or that they are part of someone’s (usually themselves)
a deux)…” learning curve (“part of a new approach to dosage”, “part of a new
cocktail which holds great promise”). Narcissists must dramatise
Then there is this internal dialog: “Just who does he think he is, their lives to feel worthy and special. Aut nihil aut unique– either
asking me all these questions? What are his professional credentials? be special or don’t be at all. Narcissists are drama queens.
I am a success and he is a nobody therapist in a dingy ofice, he
is trying to negate my uniqueness, he is an authority igure, I hate Very much like in the physical world, change is brought about only
him, I will show him, I will humiliate him, prove him ignorant, through incredible powers of torsion and breakage. Only when the
have his licence revoked (transference). Actually, he is pitiable, a narcissist’s elasticity gives way, only when he is wounded by his
zero, a failure…” own intransigence – only then is there hope. It takes nothing less
than a real crisis. Ennui is not enough.
And this is only in the irst three sessions of the therapy. This abusive
internal exchange becomes more vituperative and pejorative as Therapy with a narcissist client involves the following phases:
therapy progresses. Presenting signs and symptoms
Clinical interview (anamnesis), diagnosis, prognosis
Agnes Oppenheimer wrote this in the International Dictionary of Psychological tests and their interpretation: NPI, MMPI-2, PCL-R,
Psychoanalysis: others
The patient’s narcissistic defenses and resistances noted and the
“Mirror transference is the remobilization of the grandiose patient is made aware of them
self. Its expression is: “I am perfect and I need you in order to Working without a therapeutic alliance or contract
conirm it.” When it is very archaic, mirror transference can Realistic therapy goals: behavior modiication, reconciling lifestyle
easily result in feelings of boredom, tension, and impatience and choices with pathological/secondary narcissism, setting an
in the analyst, whose otherness is not recognized. Counter- extended timeframe, measurement of outcomes.
transference is thus a sign of it.
The Therapist
The notion, which irst appeared in Heinz Kohut’s work in “The Treating the narcissist (“dificult patient”) is a harrowing experience.
Psychoanalytic Treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disorders” On the therapist’s side it involves:
(1968), was further elaborated in his Analysis of the Self (1971). Enduring idealization-devaluation cycles (being rapidly idealized
Mirror transference can take three forms, depending on the and then devalued by the client)
degree of regression and the nature of the point of ixation. Transference and countertransference (encouraged in Cold Therapy–
Fusion transference is the most archaic form and refers to a see above)
primary identity relationship in which the other is completely Vicarious traumatisation
part of the self. It shows itself when the analyst is taken to be Activation of the therapist’s own narcissistic defenses
omnipotent and tyrannical and is experienced as an extension Resentment, alienation, burnout, emotional exhaustion, trauma
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Cooptation and collusion Grandiosity provides capabilities to overcome traumas (it is a skill)
Victimization Grandiosity results in winning over the abuser
The formation of a shared psychosis/shared psychotic disorder Leveraging grandiosity to get rid of it by telling the patient, for
(folies a deux) example: “When you are grandiose you are not acting optimally or
Paranoid ideation eficiently, you are not a perfect machine.”
Cultlike settings in therapy with either the therapist or the client Similar to strengthening the host in the treatment of DID (Dissociative
as the igurehead Identity Disorder)

Problems in Cold Therapy Guided Imagery (Imaginal technique)

Leveraging the False Self’s grandiosity Controlled catastrophizing (imagine the worst)
Overcoming psychological defense mechanisms (like splitting) and Controlled malignant optimism (imagine the fantastic)
magical thinking Middling: locate the middle ground and render the adult the winner
Tackling cognitive deicits and distortions, thinking errors, fallacies, (by meeting the reality test)
and failed reality test (e.g., Dunning-Kruger grandiosity) Controlled depersonalization (deconstructing the False Self)
The client’s victim stance and internal working model Controlled derealisation (life as a movie)
Grandiose, paranoid, and schizoid automatic thoughts Validating reality: acknowledging transference and using the client’s
Contracting and alliancing with a hostile, grandiose, and resistant own language (echoing) while acknowledging his state of mind
client
Managing and containing transference Based on: Exposure and Response Therapy
Role of medication and placebos
Confrontation in the therapy’s hostile environment fosters Negative Iteration
persecutory delusions Reframe situations and events as traumas
Narcissistic Rage and Shame Design: coping strategies, winning strategies, defenses
Distinguishing primary/originating traumas from secondary ones and Observe, hold (freeze), Rate distress (hot spotting), maintain
avoiding CPTSD (using the Erasure and Hypervigilant Referencing (equilibrium), deconstruct, reframe (cognitive restructuring), and
techniques) dispose
Comfort zone: Hostile, non-holding, unsafe environment leads to Based on: Cognitive Processing Therapy
repetition compulsion, not to decompensation and acting out. Engender: personal safety, trust, power/control, and esteem, intimacy
by reconsidering or reframing negative thoughts about self, others,
Cold Therapy Techniques and the world/environment
Only Level 1 techniques are listed but not in order of use! Assertiveness, communication, and social support
Erasure Repetition compulsion brought to awareness, mastered, obtains
Serves to combine fear memory with absent information. different outcomes, leads to resolution and reconciliation.
Metaphors: a cut cake provides more information than a whole cake, Example: Approach-avoidance Repetition Complex (Or Compulsion)
akin to reading between the lines in authoritarian regimes.
In erasure, we actively suppress certain words and expressions, in Happiness Map
a form of censorship. Delineate the Happiness Space by compiling a list of happiness-
Phases: inducing events and behaviors
Keywords selection guidelines Happiness Mapping: locate the common denominator by reduction
Keywords selection process (iltering for originating or primary (by drilling down the list and eliminating duplicates)
trauma) Intuitive Reactivity and Counterintuitive Reactivity and Denial
Speech suppression techniques: active (hushing) and passive
(irrelevancing) Mirroring
Speech recovery and interpretation of silences: gaps patterns, Client requested to play the Devil’s Advocate via a dialectic: thesis
distribution, contextual gaps (abuse, trauma), antithesis (not abuse, not trauma), synthesis (trauma
Deconstructive/reconstructive narratives is not an objective, “scientiic” fact or event, but a subjective exegesis
and reactive).
Hypervigilant Referencing
Trauma and Abuse as narcissistic injury lead to hypervigilance: Escalation
obsessive-compulsive behaviors and rituals, irritability and rage, Scenario construction: what could have been worse, what could
sensory sensitivity, anxiety, arousal, exhaustion, scanning for threats have gone wrong?
and insults. Reality check/testing leads to gaining perspective and placing in
Referential ideation proportion
Learn from the content of the delusional thinking about the locus Based on: Cognitive Processing Therapy
of the primary/originating trauma.
Deconstruct the disparity between emotional and reality states Role Play
Be an abuser (overt and covert techniques)
Grandiosity Reframing Be an abuser: identifying vulnerabilities
Grandiosity as a cognitive distortion (Dunning-Kruger effect) Patient as a therapist, parent, child, and adult
Grandiosity justiied only inasmuch as it is an adaptation or a survival NPD as DID: the False Self on the chair. Moderator role shuttles
strategy. between therapist and patient.
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Based on: Internal Family systems (IFS) Attention and focus control
Impulse control
Other-scoring Modelling (not demanding) desired behavior
Part I Freedom vs. constraint and self-regulation
1. Self-evaluated thoughts No over-stimulation
2. Thoughts about evaluation of others No excessive frustration
3. Evaluative thoughts about others Identifying and countering discriminating thoughts and emotions
What... From internal construction to external representation
Do I think that s/he thinks about me?
Does s/he think that I think about him/her? More about Cold Therapy:
Do I think about him/her? Video
Does s/he think that I think that s/he thinks about me? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh_gifvRh50
Do I think that s/he thinks about himself/herself?
Does s/he think that I think that s/he thinks about himself/herself? Lecture Notes
Part II https://www.scribd.com/document/349440458/Cold-Therapy-
4. Thoughts about coping strategies and behavioral plans Seminar-Level-1-Lecture-Notes
5. Thoughts of avoidance
In times of stress and crisis, what... References
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