TRADUZIDO PARA O PORTUGUÊS:
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
September 8, 2006
Page 1
B y A n t h o n y F l o r e s
E x e c u t i v e E d i t o r
Fellow Business Builder,
W
hy should you read Š
and HEED Š the secrets
I reveal in the following pages?
Simple: Because the ability to write
great bullets and fascinations is one of the
most powerful skills you™ll EVER acquire
as a copywriter.And the ability to
recognize
both good and bad ones isessential to being
a great direct response entrepreneur or
marketing director.
Don™t believe me? Just scan through
sales letters and even larger promotions
based almost entirely on great bullets and
selling books Š like Boardroom and
Rodale do through the mail.And like many
Internet marketers do online.
Just about every greatA-list writer has
developed the ability to write world-class
bullets and it™s rare to see a big package
without
at least
10-20, if not many more.
Plus, it™s hardnottolovethemŠ these
little space!
9 times out of 10, bullets and
ones do much more than that.
21 Bullet Secrets That IG NITE
The Selling Power of Your Copy
Take the world™s most powerful BULLET
and FASCINATION secrets (stolen directly
from decades of red-hot controls) –
Combine them with proven principles
for boosting response, both online and off –
RESPECTED copywriters to ever pick up a pen –
Do all this and you™ve got a wickedly effective new
bullet-writing system that will change your copywriting
and marketing, almost overnight!
September 8, 2006A.D.
Volume 1, Issue 1
fiI f you™ve ever wondered how
to write response -boosting,
order-pulling BULLE TS and
FASCINATIONS that literally
keep your prospec t tossing
and turning, unable to sleep
until he orders your produc t
– then this will be one of the
most impor tant marketing
letters you ever read!fl
The
Total Package
family!
Clayton is thrilled to be able to
share with you the secrets he™s used
to attract more than3 million new
customers and rake inover $1 Billion
in sales for his clients.
Make sure you dig into our
free
archives
to get the nitty-gritty details
How Clayton helped
SecurityRareCoinskyrocket
from $3.5 million in sales to
over $120 million (a 3,400%
increase) Œ in a little over a
QUADRUPLED sales at
Blanchard & Company to
over $115 million per
How he attracted more than
one million new, paying
customers to Phillips
Publishing in just over 3
How he helped make Safe
Money Report the largest
publication of its kind in the
Plus, you™ll discover more business
building, direct marketing and
copywriting secrets, insights and
strategies from the rest of
The Total
Package
team.All of them real-world
experts working right now online and
off to get bigger winners, more often.
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
Page
2
The Screaming EagleŽ
do the following:
Powerfully stimulate
Seduce your prospect
to read, read, READ!
Build desire Š little by little
Š by creating the urge to
fiknowfl the secret your bullet
Seize your prospect™
s attention
and keep him zooming through
Make your sales message more
readable (which
always
boosts
Pump up your promotions with
more variety and prevent the
Crush fiheadline block,fl instantly
delivering a wealth of fantastic
And much, much more!
How to write bullets
that make it IMPOSSIBLE
for your package
to b e put down
Writing great bullets and fascina-
tionsistrulyascience.It™sabouttaking
all the right tools and then assembling
a little powerhouse of desire.
If you™re writing them for a book
or a premium booklet, you™ll typically
begin by researching the daylights out
of your subject.
begin reading a book multiple times,
highlighting key points and tidbits with
-
tary or a typist type up all of his notes
(which would often add up to a 60-70
page document!) Finally, he™d organize
the research information and begin
fascinations as they came to him.
approach. Clayton™s good friend and
begins by going through his research
and writing
as many as 700 fascinations
.
only keep about 100 of them, but Parris
likes to have about seven times more
than he could ever use.
guarantees that every bullet or fascina-
exceptional. He gets to select strictly
from the ficream of the cropfl rather
than some good ones and a bunch
of mediocre ones. (I™m sure you™ve
seen this problem Š especially online
Š where you™re reading a long string
of bullets and 3 out of every 4 are
mediocre, at best.You can bet the
writer didn™t write
seven times
what he
needed and then select his very best!)
In looking at Parris™s packages, I see
how this also gives him so much variety
in his bullet sections, making them more
crucial Š especially in promotions that
involve lots of fascinations Š because
even just one or two bad ones can cause
your prospect to start fiskimming.fl In
some cases, a few bad bullets alone can
get your promotion tossed!
Rememb er Š
your #1 job is to keep
your prosp ec t READING!
As you know, the fundamental
to do that is to keep your prospect
reading.
Have you ever noticed when
read or study a good one from cover
you KEEP your prospect reading all
the way to the end.
The S creaming EagleŽ
is published monthly by
Clayton Makepeace and
The Total Package
Ž
as par t of the
EasyWritersŽ Marketing Club.
It is owned by
The Pro˜t CenterŽ
PO B ox 750
Waynesville, NC Ł 28786
For c ustomer suppor t please contac t us at:
c are@makepeacetotalpack age.com
or c all 800-827-0940 (US)
828-456-9277 (INT )
R ights of reproduc tion and distribution
of this newsletter are stric tly reser ved.
Any unauthorized reproduc tion
or distribution of information
contained herein is expressly forbidden
without the written consent of
The Total Package
Ž.
EXECUTIVE DIREC TOR:
C layton M akepeace
EXECUTIVE EDITOR:
Tony Flores
GENER AL MANAGER:
Wend y M akepeace
GR APHIC DESIGN:
Brian K .Wilson
Circ ulation Manager:
M ar tha S helton
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
September 8, 2006
Page 3
talks about systematically weeding out
fiweak linksfl in your copy Š because
weak links cause you to lose readership.
And ultimately cause you to lose sales.
Because they™re so easy to read, bullets
can be the deadliest of weak links.
prospect with dull or repetitive bullets,
the best case scenario is that he starts
skimming and scanning (the opposite
from putting the letter down or
throwing it in the trash.
So you want to make sure you
vary your bullets in such a way that
you want some bullets long, others
short, some bullets blind and others
where you reveal the full secret your
prospect can use immediately.
Reading through the bullets
should give your prospect an exciting
feeling.Almost like he™s on a roller
coaster ride and doesn™t know which
way he™s gonna be turned next.
If you can get your prospect
through a long series of quality bullets/
fascinations, your chances of making
the sale shoot up exponentially!
How to CRUSH
fiheadline blo ck fl for go o d
And here™s another really
powerful advantage you™ll have when
you become a great bullet/fascina-
tion writer. Having an army of killer
bullets/fascination at your disposal
gives you a whole slew of fantastic
headline ideas and possibilities.
Some of the very best writers
in the business will often begin their
writing process with bullets and
fascinations.
the headline, you™ve literally got
possibilities for a headline.
of a winning headline that began as a
bullet is from the control for
Bottom
Line Personal
:
How Doctors StayWellWhile
Treating Sick PeopleAll Day
many hundreds written by the author
of the package. If you notice, it also
hints of fiprooffl because it references
doctors. (We™ll discuss the need for
proof/credibility in your bullets more
in just a second.)
covering every shocking, fascinating
and emotionally stirring piece of infor-
mation you have.When you™re done,
you™ll almost certainly have at least a
few very good headlines in there Š and
21 proven bullet
formulas revealed
by the b est writers
in the business
After scouring hundreds of
controls looking just for bullets,
here™re the main types I™ve discovered:
1. Thefi how tofl bullet
popular type of bullet/fascination and
you see loads of it, both online and off.
It works because we seem to have a
if the fihow tofl information is tied into
the key to making it work.
How to use the secrets of
filoadingfl your body for maximum
power! (Traditional swings rob you
of this potential power Š while the
Triple Coil Swing actually increases
it
two-fold!
)
How to make yourself safer
than 89% of other car passengers
Š page
3
89.
How to rub your stomach
away.The simplest and most
natural way to lose weight is by this
effortless two-minute exercise.
2. Thefisecret tofl bullet
a piece of information not commonly
known Š something that can be legiti-
fisecretfl is centered on fihowfl your
not to overuse this idea, however, or
your prospect will become exces-
sively skeptical.After all, if everything
is a secret then each one becomes a
not commonly known and varied for
maximum impact.
The secrets of fiSingle Fingerfl
takedowns – using moves that are
indefensible even by a larger and
more experienced opponent!
Little known secrets that can
gold – even if bullion drops to $250
an ounce!
The secret of fithat schoolgirl
fi H a v i n g a n a r m y o f k i l l e r
b u l l e t s / f a s c i n a t i o n s a t y o u r d i s p o s a l
g i v e s y o u a w h o l e s l e w o f f a n t a s t i c h e a d l i n e
a n d s u b h e a d p o s s i b i l i t i e s . K e e p y o u r e y e
o u t f o r t h o s e t h a t w i l l m o s t
f o r c e f u l l y g r a b h i s a t t e n t i o n .fl
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
Page 4
The Screaming EagleŽ
complexionfl revealed!This is the
natural compound you must have for
health, beauty and long life. Develops
that youthful beauty from within.
3. Thefi Why fl bullet
intrigue. Essentially, you™re promising
to reveal why something is a certain
way Š with the implication that
knowing why
will make a difference
in your prospect™s life. So make extra
sure the info your promise presents
instantly curious to know more about
Why if this disaster strikes
the US, you™ll pay up to
1
5 times
more money for cheap imitations of
your favorite supplements Š
and
why that™s the good news!
Why up to 70 percent of
all poisonings happen to children
of them all. Page
34
.
Why you can™t trust your
pension fund: Dirty tricks they play
with your money Š and how to stop
them COLD –
4. Thefi What fl bullet
fiWhatflbulletsworkwellintwoways.
First they can give your prospect very
Second, they often offer him elusive,
valuable information (fiWhat doctors
a wonderful job of bumping up the
perceived value of the information,
while at the same time
hiding
it for
added curiosity!
What you must do immedi-
ately befor
e November
1
5
th
, 200
1
to
preserve your wealth and –
What you must do at once if
you receive a mild shock when you
touch an electric appliance Š page 26.
What the Corporate Fat Cats
don™t tell you about their
CoQ
1
0
supplements –
What to watch when you™re
eight feet apart (it™s NOT his eyes
make that gets them hurt) – and
what to watch inside the two feet
ficrunch time zonefl – to keep
you a precious step ahead of even
You can see more great examples of
bullets on page 1 (
The Safe Money
Investor Service
) of your Ride-AlongŽ
soon see, sidebars can showcase your
best bullets with tremendous impact.
5. Thefi What NEVER fl bullet
If you™ve ever read a Boardroom
report, I™d bet big money you™ve seen
with the following bullet that became
a blockbuster headline:
What never to eat on an airplane.
The dirtiest, deadliest airplane in
the whole wide world.
Here™s another example:
What never to keep in your
deposit box.
Never
.And how to
stop the state from stealing it.
be applied to many, many pieces of
information.And it™s powerful because
it alerts him of a possible mistake
(tapping into fear emotion), promises
information that will protect your
and also builds curiosity and intrigue
because he doesn™t yet know the
answer. If you™re selling supplements,
you could say,
fiWhat NEVER to take
along withVitamin C –fl
If you™re in
the investment market, you could say,
-
tion rises –fl
miles.
Along the same lines, you can
present any other type of fiWhat
the same. Just play around with the
different versions and see which works
best for your information. Here are a
few more examples:
Why you should not use soap
anywhere but under the arms and
on the genitals. Page
3
7.
The absolute worst time for
your body to do paperwork or read.
Page 26.
The One Place NEVER to
StoreYour Gold: It™s practically
an engraved invitation to thieves.
Where to store your gold for
maximum safety and convenience.
6. ThefiPLUSfl bullet
it gets your prospect into the mindset
isn™t terribly unique Š essentially it™s
just one of the other formulas with a
PLUS at the beginning. PLUS bullets
work best at the end of a list, helping
Here™s an example from some of
fi W h e n y o u p r o m i s e t o r e v e a l s o m e t h i n g
i n c r e d i b l y i n t r i g u i n g Š s o m e t h i n g t h a t ™ l l
m
a k e a h u g e d i f f e r e n c e i n h i s l i f e
Š
y o u
c r e a t e a b u r n i n g d e s i r e f o r t h e a n s w e r
t h a t m u s t b e f u l f i l l e d .fl
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
September 8, 2006
Page
5
PLUS Š How to turn the
tables on them: Insulate your wealth
and then USE their treachery to lock-
PLUS my complete list of
1
,8
3
7 companies that we suspect of
fudging their earnings Š make sure
your stocks are NOT on this list!
7. ThefiNumber fl bullet
Use this kind of bullet when you
can group together multiple ways of
doing something, multiple secrets or
multiple reasons why something will
happen. It™s a great way of condensing
unique information into a value-added
team of enticing secrets, methods or
Four ways to stimulate the
body to release its own natural pain-
killers.
The seven little-known signs
of internal bleeding and what to do
about each Š page
4
.
The world™s two most
-
gies: PLUS the stocks that can hand
returns –
3
often overlooked investment
vehicles that can make you up to
1
0
times richer when the next earnings
scandal bursts into the headlines.
8. ThefiRight – WRONG!fl bullet
to bank on your prospect having
kind of bullet comes in.You suggest
the assumed idea or belief and then
wants to know why or how they could
be wrong about something they thought
they knew. Especially, if there™s a killer
Sneezing into a tissue
prevents colds, right?Wrong!
Page 2 explains why.
The bathroom medicine
cabinet is the best place to store medi-
cine, right?Wrong! It™s the worst.
The facts ar
e on page
1
20.
fiUnscentedfl products have
no scent? Sorry. Many are masked
with a chemical that can cause
allergic r
eactions. Page 2
4
.
9. Thefi WARNINGfl bullet
It™s perfect for when you want to
alert your prospect of a danger ahead.
You™ll often also see the words
ficaution, alert, dangerfl at the begin-
-
ularly effective when your promotion
this bullet works much better when
you give proof that you have the solu-
warning your prospect about.
W
ARNING ŠYour #
1
asset
is now in extreme danger!Why the
equity in your family™s home may
be vulnerable to an all out attack in
200
4
-2006 Š crucial self-defense –
WARNING:AvoidThese 2
Popular Gold Investments LikeThe
Plague! Ignoring this single warning
could leave you broke and holding
the bag!
Cell phone DANGER!Avoid
sleep disruption from electromag-
netic waves –
CAUTION:Washington
andWall Street are conspiring to
HOODWINKYOU!They only
want you toTHINK that they™ve
cleaned upWall Street. Discover the
shockingTRUTH that can protect
10. ThefiAre you –?fl bullet
With this bullet, you ask your pros-
pect about something you strongly
believe he™s
already
instructions with as much credibility
strong because you get your pros-
pect to say fiyesfl and nod his head,
building momentum toward the sale.
Variations on it can be
well!
Are you and your doctor
making these common mistakes with
your health? One of the Country™s
most respected M.D.™s exposes the 9
that could be robbing you of your
health and hard-earned money.
Does your broker have a firap
sheetfl with the SEC or NASD?
Do you take any of these
1
6
popular vitamins or supplements?
If so, please read this M.D.™s urgent
warning!
11. ThefiGimmick fl bullet
Here you carefully extract an idea from
information in your research and put
a creative fispinfl on it, assigning it a
name. For example, say you™re selling
body fat test which requires you to
pinch certain parts of your body.You
fi To g e t h e r t h e s e b u l l e t f o r m u l a s a l l o w y o u t o
h i t e v e r y p i e c e o f i n t r i g u i n g i n f o f r o m
a v a r i e t y o f a n g l e s . P r a c t i c e u s i n g t h e m
TO D AY a n d y o u ™ l l n e v e r w r i t e d u l l
o r r e p e t i t i v e b u l l e t s a g a i n .fl
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
Page
6
The Screaming EagleŽ
The
simple fipinch testfl that instantly
tells what your body fat levels are
Š with pinpoint, .5% accuracy
.
and
delivers
a precise mechanism for
And it does thisALL in a couple of
simple lines.
TheamazingfiTowelHangingfl
trick
that increases the
strength
of you erection –
plus
your love-
making
stamina
– allowing you to
supercharge
your love-life in a very
short time! (You have to
experi-
ence
these kinds of firocket burstfl
orgasms to believe they™re
possible
!
See page
13
9.)
And – the amazing fifollow
throughfl secret that is the founda-
tion of making long, straight drives
so easy you could cry with joy!This
alone will change your game forever
–
The fioptical illusionfl that
absolutely destroys most golfers –
the single most damaging fihabitfl
nearly all amateurs suffer that
GUARANTEES
they will never
experience a consistently great
game! (Once you know the secret,
however, you will
OWN
the course!)
12. ThefiS neaky fl bullet
top writers Š because overdoing it
can make your copy feel contrived.
It typically applies when you have
a piece of info that has some sort
extreme cases: a hidden, guarded
or overlooked element. It™s most
often used when there™s something a
group doesn™t want you to know or is
actively hiding from you.
The sneaky ways profes-
surprise to turn around dangerous
situations – even when they™re the
ones who™ve been fijumpedfl by an
assailant unexpectedly!
Sneaky little arthritis secrets
that doctors never, ever tell you
about –
Sneaky insurance tricks that
could be costing you an arm and a
leg. Make sure you™re not a victim.
For an example of this kind of
bullet (and many others!), see page 2
of your Ride-AlongŽ. It™s from
The
Bob Livingston Letter
.
13. ThefiS tatement of
Interest + Bene˜t fl bullet.
have an exciting or intriguing tidbit
use one of the fihow tofl or fiwhyfl
types of bullets for the second line.
Drowning is the third leading
cause of accidental death. But did
you know it™s possible to save a
drowning person even if you can™t
swim? Page
1
5.
You walk into an empty self-
service elevator late at night and
press the button. Before the door
has a chance to close you get back
out fast.Why? (Nine ways to outwit
a mugger
.) Page
3
80.
Platinum Prices Up 90%
since 2002 Š Here™s HowTo
PROFIT:Why platinum prices
are expected to surge throughout
minded investors.
14. ThefiD irec t Bene˜t fl Bullet
Here™s where you simply make a
claim (ideally a unique and powerful
one!) in the opening line of your
action verb, instantly promising the
deepening, proving, and adding
original claim.
Some examples:
BUILD ENORMOUS
STRENGTHAND MUSCLE
TONE
without exercise!
Ten minute
breakthrough
naturally
triples your
growth hormone levels. Secretly
being used by the NewYork Mets,
Chicago Cubs and many Hollywood
stars.All you do is
stand
.
BANISH MENSTRUAL
CRAMPS FOR GOOD with a
common vitamin! Now shown to
wipe
out
over 80% of all cases of cramps.
RECOVER FROM LATE-
STAGE CANCER, even after it has
spread to the bones. Just a tiny dose
of this cutting-edge nutrient has
now been shown to make it happen.
15. ThefiS peci˜c Q uestionfl bullet
leading with an intriguing question of
importance. Just like many of the other
formulas, what follows must offer
the desired solution either within the
running text of the copy or the product
that™s being sold.And, of course, it™s
always good to mix in credibility,
Do you know that one-
quarter of all household burglars
gain entrance without breaking in?
Here™s how they do it – and how
to get them to stop doing it to you.
Page
1
57.
Joint bank accounts? Close
them fast and open separate ones –
or
you™ll pay dearly. Page
14
2.
What time of day are you at
greatest risk for low blood glucose?
This surprising answer will put you
on alert.
16. ThefiIf – Thenfl bullet
-
pect by inviting him to meet a simple
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
September 8, 2006
Page
7
requirement. It can also ask him if
experiencing some kind of malady or
symptom. If you™ve selected the right
piece of info, he™s naturally interested
in whether he meets the requirement
or is experiencing what you describe.
It quickly grabs his attention!
And then he also wants to see
requirement Š which becomes the
Bencivenga is particularly fond of
using these types of statements as
headlines and they™ve produced some
very big winners for him.
If you have a tension head -
ache, here™s why you should forget
your scalp and
concentrate on your
toes
.
If you™ve got just 20 minutes a
-
cial miracle in your life.
If you are now a "B" or
"B+" copywriter, by learning this
one unusual secret, you will much
more easily move up quickly into
even "A+" writers who command
the biggest freelance fees and make
fortunes in royalties.
17. Thefi Whenfl bullet
Perfect for when you™re promising
great because you™re implicitly saying,
fiDo this at a certain time, and you™ll
get a guaranteed result.flYour pros-
pects will naturally want to know
when
how
he can get it, so intrigue and curiosity
are automatically built in.
When the IRS has to pay you
interest! If they miss this deadline
by a single day, they™re legally obli-
gated to do so. Page
1
5.
When it™s safe to ignore
the
April
1
5
th
interest. No penalties. No nasty
visits fr
om the Feds. Page
14
.
When cold pizza is the perfect
fat-loss br
eakfast. Page
14
.
You can see another example of
this bullet and other great ones on
page 3 of your Ride-AlongŽ. It™s
from Rodale™s
Powerfood Nutrition
Plan
promotion Š a very bullet-heavy
control that features many of the tech-
niques you™re learning in this issue!
18. ThefiQ uickest, Easiest fl Bullet
Here you offer to reveal the quickest
or easiest or simplest way to do some-
It™s human nature to want to get
something easier, faster and with less
effort Š especially in today™s instant
make this bullet work very simply or
you can pile on additional possibili-
ties (from the formulas above) for a
wonderful one-two punch.
The easiest way to beat out
even the most ferocious competi-
tion in your marketplace, even
when their marketing is brilliant,
their budget huge and their copy
is so persuasive, it could have been
written by Claude Hopkins himself
.
to be a master of persuasion Š the
simple,
1
2 word sentence that will
make you one of the most persua-
sive people on the planet, no matter
"master secret" of knowing how
to persuade almost anyone to do
almost anything.
The quickest, easiest ways to
19. Thefi Truthfl bullet
Use this one when you want to help
your prospect put a controversial or
debatable issue to rest. Select pieces
a clear solution in the form of the
controversy or commonly held belief
great example of this on page 4 of the
Š another way to word this same
T
HE
TRUTH
ABOUT
MUTUAL
FUNDS
.What your
broker doesn™t tell you could cost
you up to 5% this year.
THETRUTHABOUTTUNA.
Is it good for you? Or does it contain
harmful metals that can ruin your
immune system? See page 70.
THETRUTHABOUT
ALCOHOL.Will it interfere with
muscle growth?Will it help your
heart and circulatory system? See
page 27
4
.
20. ThefiBetter fl Bullet
When there™s an assumption that
something even better Š use this
bullet! It™s a great way to sneak right
under your prospect™s BS detector and
fi Yo u n e v e r k n o w w h e n o n e o f y o u r b e s t
b u l l e t s c o u l d b e c o m e a w o r l d - b e a t i n g
h e a d l i n e . T h a t ™s w h y i t p a y s t o p u t t o n s o f
e n e r g y i n t o t h e m , m a k i n g e v e r y
s i n g l e o n e a s p o w e r f u l a s p o s s i b l e .fl
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
Page
8
The Screaming EagleŽ
create momentum.A possible varia-
tion on this same concept is to lead
with the word fibeyond.fl
BETTERTHANTHE
BENCH PRESS. For a broader,
more muscular chest, the uncanny
exer
cise on page
1
7 works wonders.
BETTERTHAN SQUATS!
Try this leg exercise on page 29. It
takes less time than squats and will
not injure your back!
BEYONDTHE BEDROOM!
Other rooms can spice up your sex
life. Every home contains sexual
secrets waiting to be unlocked –
DA
Y
3
shows you how to make your
lovemaking more fun!
21. ThefiS inglefl Bullet
you have a piece of information
And you have proof. It™s effective
because you™re promising some-
thing that stands head and shoulders
above anything else being offered.
You™re promising to cut
directly
to
the most powerful and often
exclusive
strong and credibility is there Š who
wouldn™t want that?
The single most important
sentence you will ever read about
how to create powerful marketing.
It contains just nine words, and they
will forever change your approach
to marketing.
The single most important
nutrient you™ll ever need for heart
health. It™s not expensive Š but
there are at least 7 different forms
out which one, see page 2
3
.
The single most explosive
investment in this coming crash. It
takes advantage of my three proven
growth factors and is still available
dirt-cheap. But it won™t stay that
way for long!
Whenever you™re creating bullets/
fascinations for your promotions,
attack each piece of information from
at least 2-3 different angles using
shocked at how much better they
come out and how much more variety
The 3-step
fiMakep eace Makeover fl
that sup ercharges
ANY bullet in a matter
of minutes
writing poor bullets.You just need to
get clear on the critical elements that
make a good one, and then be sure you
includeeachelementintoyourwriting.
personally from Clayton. Let™s try it
Š taking a weak bullet and give it a
quick Makepeace-Makeover!
-
tionalfl advertising, you™ll see dread-
from stocks in 2006 –
But even then, the lack of
common and less believable.After
all, you™ve probably been exposed to
hundreds (if not thousands) of oppor-
and almost none of them work.
from gold stocks in 2006 –
some sort of research or analysis, that
you™re not just pulling this idea out of
you-know-where.And the figold stocksfl
mechanism
for
Revealing the
mechanism
your
prospect will use to achieve the
markets. By
mechanism
, I™m talking
about the means, method or system
your prospect will use to achieve
proprietary investment system, certain
nutrient(s) in a weight-loss pill, new
advances in technology, etc. Showing
your prospect that you have a unique
mechanism helps differentiate your
claim from others making similar
ones.You have a new way to get him
what he wants.And this gives you a
better chance at having readers at least
consider
open to believing it.
bullet is decent at this point but it
some intrigue Š your prospect wants
fi W h e n e v e r y o u ™r e c r e a t i n g
b u l l e t s / f a s c i n a t i o n s f o r y o u r p r o m o t i o n s ,
a t t a c k e a c h p i e c e o f i n f o r m a t i o n f r o m
a t l e a s t 2 - 3 d i f f e r e n t a n g l e s u s i n g
t h e f o r m u l a s t h a t f i t b e s t .fl
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
September 8, 2006
Page
9
gold stocks. But then again Š he™s
busy and he™s probably reading many
other similar claims from other invest-
ment newsletters and headlines.
Something more is needed.
So let™s add a tad bit more intrigue
and credibility, let™s make himVERY
SURE that this is a
real
opportunity.
How to exploitWarren Buffet™s
fiBull Market X-Factorfl and
stocks in the next 60 days –
here.Your prospect is being offered:
the intrigue/curiosity of how he can do
it usingWarren Buffet™s fiBull Market
X-Factorfl and (c) the credibility that
he™ll make precisely 307% on gold
And he™ll do it within the next 60
days!
yet still fairly short.We could have
created something longer but this one
was already packed with plenty of
greatinformation.(Forsomeexamples
of longer bullets that work very well,
see page 5 of your Ride-AlongŽ. It™s
from the
Real Health
promotion that
has been mailing for years.)
Ultimately remember that it™s not
about how big or complex your bullets
are Š it™s about how
believably
they
that matters!
Clayton™s p ersonal
prac tice for creating
k iller bullets
and fascinations
Clayton often looks for a series of
copy points that he can group using
bullets, numbers, letters, etc. He™s
looking to add clarity and impact.
And his promotions Š because
he promotes investment newsletters
and supplements much more often
than books Š will often contain fewer
bullets/fascinations than a package for
Boardroom or Rodale.When he does
create bullets/fascinations, it™s typi-
cally to sell the premiums, for some of
deck copy and the back cover.
the research, the premiums, the
rough draft and then creates many
more bullets/fascinations than he™ll
-
fully selects the best possibilities for
each section Š and then edits them
according to the process we just went
through above. He makes sure they
have gut-level, greed-tickling impact.
Finally, Clayton often takes his
them in the most important places:
expanded upon the headline, he™ll often
jump right into a series of bullets that
bribe the prospect into reading the report
also be packed with 5-10 teaser bullets
that compel the prospect to open up and
For example, look at page 6 and
you™llseeverypowerfulbulletsusedas
the deck copy (beginning with fi4 bald-
faced liesfl).And then on page 7, four
killer bullets suck you into opening up
the report. Both are perfect examples
of Clayton™s bullet principles.
How to write world- class
bullets when you™ve got
no myster y or secret
Also, because Clayton works
sequences of bullets (where he™s not
hiding intriguing or fascinating info).
from a health promotion he wrote:
learning, reasoning, memory and
coordinationarebeingrejuvenated
are now being revived and elec-
joints are being soothed, renewed
Entire or
gans Š from his eyes
and intestines Š and even his
sexual organs Š are being revi-
talized and are returning to their
bullets is to make them as read-
able and interesting as possible. It™s
intrigue because they™re not fiblind,fl
promising elusive information. But
is (a) clear, (b) something desired by
fi R e v e a l i n g t h e p r e c i s e m e c h a n i s m y o u r
p r o s p e c t w i l l u s e t o f u l f i l l y o u r p r o m i s e
i s m e g a - p o w e r f u l i n t o d a y ™s s a t u r a t e d ,
s k e p t i c a l m a r k e t s . I t ™s a f a n t a s t i c w a y t o
i n t r o d u c e b e n e f i t , c r e d i b i l i t y a n d
i n t r i g u e , a l l a t t h e s a m e t i m e .fl
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
Page
1
0
The Screaming EagleŽ
your prospect and (c) that you use
strong verb choices like he did (dead-
ened, rejuvenated, sparking, revived,
Also, as you see on Ride-AlongŽ
also be used to enhance your guar-
antee presentation.At the bottom of
the page, there are six bullets begin-
ning with, fiAvoid any brewing disas-
and compelling.
to present horrifying alternatives:
Ages your eyes:
Free radicals have
been shown to damage your chro-
mosomes and block the enzymes
Taxes your brain:
Research
from the
New England Journal of
Medicine
shows that the more free
radical hits your brain is exposed
to, the slower the response in
nerve synapse communication.
Which means these little fibad
guysfl could be hacking away at
your brain-speed and intelligence
at this very moment!
How to create afithemefl
for your bullets that
maximizes their impac t!
connected group and put them on the
of fithemingfl your bullets like this is
that you can hit a certain topic from a
variety of angles.Your prospect will
get the feeling that you™re thorough
and that he™ll be getting a comprehen-
sive exposé that™ll change his life!
are from a recent promotion
for
Your Money Report
:
Great Real Estate
InvestmentsAtA DISCOUNT!
you™ve missed your opportunity to
second chance to become a real estate
millionaire:
page 5
8 Deadly Real EstateTraps:
Costs!
payment can make the difference
-
ment and a costly one. Here are 8
pitfalls to avoid when shopping for
your next mortgage!
Page 6
ThinkingAbout BecomingA
Landlord?
Page 7
fi7 Guilty Secrets
Drug Companies Do NOTWant
YouTo Knowfl
was also touted on the
cover of the piece as a reason to read it:
FACT #
1
: Drug Companies
KillTens ofThousands EachYear:
Many of today™s most-often prescribed
medications are not only useless, but
extremely dangerous Š crippling and
killing as manyAmericans each year as
died in the 18 years of theVietnam war.
FACT #2:They Do It
Knowingly
Š For Money:
-
able businesses inAmerica Š is guilty
of using bogus research, distorted
reporting, and bald-faced lies to push
deadly and ineffective drugs onto
unsuspecting doctors and patients.
Let ™s strip down
some examples to
the bare essentials
In this section we™re going to take
bullets from some of the best writers
in the business and reveal exactly
what makes them tick.You™ll see how
they harness the secrets revealed in
this issue for maximum response.
promotion for his retirement seminar
that he held last year and if you™re not
on his list
(www.bencivengabullets.
com)
Š you need to jump onto that
site and sign upASAP. Each bullet is a
picture-perfect example of everything
you™ve learned. Here they are:
The easiest way to
control
the
process of persuasion rather than
merely guess at it.You™ll learn that
persuasion, like music, comes down
to a few simple notes. Master them,
of melodies that are music to your
prospects™ ears.
Right off the bat, you see that this
the fiQuickest, Easiestfl bullet.And it
how to consciously control persuasion
actually targeted at the more sophis-
ticated writer (ideal prospects for
because although writers at this level
understand persuasion, they desper-
ately want to have greater control over
the process (just like he does!).
music to make you believe that the
-
ingly, this is actually the credibility
component of the bullet because it
gets you to believe that Š just like
a few simple notes of music Š this
secret will get you to the heart of
persuasion and do it more automati-
cally, with less effort.
by adding the idea that once you figetfl
this persuasion secret, you™ll be able to
successfully use it in a wide variety of
-
sion, fimusic to my earsfl is adapted to
ears.fl Colloquial expressions like
this are
extremely
effective in bullets
because they say more Š often MUCH
You will create intense desire
for your new product
and yours
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
September 8, 2006
Page
11
alone
. In other words, once you
introduce your product this way,
your market will never again be
products. Buyers will seek your
exactly the unique features you
described in your advertising.
continuous sequence, all based on a
single secret for launching new prod-
way to use your bullets Š which
Clayton does all the time and we
issue. Most of the time, you™ll see
bullets that are based on a wide range
of information and seem to be put
together with no particular order or
But other times, it™s even more
effective to have sections of bullets
where each new one feeds off the
bullets being tightly and sequentially
promotion and it™s often a life-saver
because it means you don™t have to
accomplish as much in any one bullet.
explain a little about why it works.As
you can see in this example, there™s
not always a need for an extreme level
Š as long as you can accomplish that
in other bullets from the same section.
How to use a simple punctua-
tion mark to boost your response
exclamation mark (they often
decrease
response, because they
smell like hype).
WhilethisisobviouslyafiHowtofl
a subtle combination, using another
formula (the fiRight/Wrongfl bullet).
And it harnesses powerful psychology
because he
knows
most readers will
assume he™s talking about an exclama-
because the prospect™s natural assump-
tion has just been shredded to pieces,
the answer even more!
-
active reading if you™re a prospect:
really
wanting to know what in god™s
name he™s talking about! It engages
you and builds desire Š the more
often you do this to a prospect in the
course of a promotion, the more likely
he™ll become a buyer.
S ex sells – and sexual
bullets sell even b etter!
promotion Š one written by copy
legend John Carlton (Special thanks
to John for letting me use these bullets
and others earlier on). Bullets and
fascinations make up about 80% of
this eight-page letter.And even though
creamed
the previous control and
you™ll EVER see:
– Plus – how to replenish
of fresh, youthful testosterone –
more frequent, more intense, and
more pleasurable orgasms!
-
nation bullet works so well because
perfectly
targeted. Every
guy wants to be able to replenish
his fiyouthfulfl testosterone and
you better believe that EVERY guy
wants to experience fimore frequent,
more intense, and more pleasurable
precisely with what guys want allows
him to leave out the typical level of
long as you make most of your bullets
bullets like this Š ones that hit your
prospect™s emotional nail on the head
Š can work wonders for your copy.
The
fiPre-Coital Secretfl
(only
recently made public by a famous
female
sex therapist) that breaks
the code on giving
any
woman an
explosive orgasm –
every time you
make love!
Page
114
.
bullet and if you™re a guy, it™s hard
read this.Again, what guy wouldn™t
want to know this mysterious and
very
secret Š credibly
fimade publicfl by a famous female
give women explosive orgasms, every
time! It™s a slam-dunk, no-brainer. In
The seven most effective
ways to seduce the woman of your
dreams
Š compiled by a rare study
of women themselves! (Plus Š
the
SINGLE most important thing you
can do to win her love forever
– and
the
worst
sin you could ever commit
Š an unforgivable act that can
fi C o l l o q u i a l e x p r e s s i o n s a r e e x t r e m e l y
e f f e c t i v e i n b u l l e t s b e c a u s e
t
h e y s a y m o r e
Š
o f t e n M U C H M O R E
w i t h f a r f e w e r w o r d s .fl
w w w. m a k e p e a c e t o t a l p a c k a g e . c o m
Page
1
2
The Screaming EagleŽ
destroy your love life!) See page
1
6
1
.
Yet another bullet that has it all.
bullet) to seduce the woman of your
dreams.Again, do you see how he has
It™s uncanny and a big reason why
these bullets are so hot.
that these seven ways have been
Mostfl bullet that™ll reveal what can
cause a man to win or lose her love
of committing an unforgivable sin that
destroys your love life Š what you
RISK by not seeking out the answer
accomplish in just a few sentences.
The 10 fiCome Hitherfl Sexual
Signals given by women that most
men miss entirely!
These are the
ultimate secrets of meeting women
revealed by women them-
selves
and supported by 20 years of
Are you starting to see how
Š once you master the formulas in
this issue Š you can begin combining
them to hit your prospect™s hot
buttons from every possible direction?
formula (fiCome Hitherfl) and mixes
in the fisecretsfl element as well. Plus,
it™s not just some writer saying this
Š these secrets have been compiled
by women
and are supported by 20
It™s clear why this promotion
worked so well. Imagine, as a guy,
reading through pages and pages of
and every one hitting a red-hot desire
button with sniper-like accuracy. It™s
almost impossible to not mail in the
postage-paid free-trial card and see
what answers lie inside.
Bullets that help ed
quick ly build a
direc t resp onse giant
Before we conclude, I want to
quickly break down a few of the fasci-
nationsfromthefamous,
fiWhatNever
to Eat on anAirplanefl
piece because
they played a huge role in building
it is today. Here they are:
Ever been abused by an
uncivil servant – humiliated by
given the runaround by a large
corporation? Here™s how to write
a simple letter that creates instant
– and gives you sweet revenge.
ones everyone so desperately wants
to create fihavocfl for these jerks that
rip the prospect off and humiliate him
is incredibly appealing. It gives him
fisweet revenge.flAlways look for
emotional goldmines like this when
crafting bullets of your own.
The 20 safest banks in the U.S.
Š and the lemons, which spend their
time lending to third world deadbeats
– and real estate hucksters.
extremely practical information (Who
doesn™t use a bank?And who doesn™t
want a fisafefl bank?), it also promises
to reveal scandalous information about
banks who lend to fideadbeatsfl and
and it™s also very helpful to know.
Whatyoudon™thavetotellan
IRS auditor Š and how to prevent
records.
We all do taxes every year and
almost everybody worries a little
aboutthenightmareofgettingaudited.
So the promise of what youdon™t
have to tell an auditor Š one that can
your records Š is more appealing
terribly complex or sexy. But they™re
ultra-practical and slowly-but-surely
they build on each other, working up
desire in the prospect until he realizes
that sending for a free-trial of
Bottom
Line Personal
is well worth a shot.
Now that you™ve got
the secrets, USE them
to drive your resp onse
to the mo on!
own bullet/fascination archive and add to
will make you a fantastic copywriter and
bullets each time you pick up your pen!
When it comes time to begin crafting
your bullets, whip out this report so that
you have each of the formulas handy.
wellwitheachpieceofinformationyou™re
basing your bullet on. Simply create a
bullet with each formula and move on.
than you could ever use, scan through
and pick out the most powerfully
Keep selecting until you have
the right number you need and stra-
tegically arrange and place them
throughout your copy.
Follow the guidelines in the report
writer in no time!
Yours for better copy made easy,
Editor,
The Screaming EagleŽ