6 Tips to Rule the Art of Conversation
By Larry Alton | April 12, 2017 |
https://www.success.com/6-tips-to-rule-the-art-of-conversation/
The art of conversation is a necessary skill for almost everything in life. Conversations introduce
you to people, important people who could be your mentors, employers, employees, partners or
friends. Without conversations as the foundation for those relationships, you’ll have a hard time
building a social circle, starting a business or advancing your career.
Once a conversation gets going, you should have little problem maintaining that momentum—
but for most of us, getting it started is the hardest part. Master these “talking points” to get (and
keep) a conversation going:
1. Lead with a compliment.
Compliments are the best possible way to begin a conversation. Not only do they provide a
perfect opening line and a possible door for discussion, they also make the person feel good
about themselves. Starting the conversation off on a positive note is crucial to keep the
conversation going.
Just remember, the more specific your compliment is, the better—for example, commenting that
a person is well-dressed is nowhere near as satisfying or flattering as saying something like,
“Your shoes are cute.” It’s concise, sincere and specific—and now you’ve opened the
conversational door because your partner has something to talk about.
2. Embrace small talk.
Small talk is taboo to some people, and while it’s not the most fulfilling type of conversation, it
is both functional and necessary. Small talk is what leads the way to deeper conversation, much
in the way that a car must gradually accelerate to a certain speed rather than hitting 60 miles an
hour instantaneously.
Small talk topics are easy to pull—you can talk about the event you’re attending, comment on a
food or drink item, point something out about the venue, or if you’re desperate, you can talk
about the weather. These are all shared experiences that anyone can relate to, so they can work
for any individual.
3. Ask lots of questions.
If you want to move from small talk to real conversation, you have to look for any opportunity
that leads you to change the subject. Don’t try to abruptly change gears and talk about something
deep or substantial; instead, patiently wait for the opportunity to present itself.
Questions are conversational lubricant. Pay attention as much as you can to the conversation and
use them to move it forward. You should be scouting the entire conversation for “tell me more”
opportunities. Keep potential questions in the back of your mind. Try to be as specific and
inquisitive as possible.
4. Be nice.
This should be obvious, but don’t neglect it. Your level of friendliness can make or break the
receptiveness of the other party involved. Walk into the conversation with a big smile and open
body language, and keep yourself open, receptive and smiling politely for as much of the
conversation as you can.
Try not to cross your arms, appear distracted or let your eyes wander. Maintain eye contact when
you can and go out of your way to show that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to
say.
5. Let the other person do the talking.
This is another major point. If you go into a conversation and immediately begin dominating it
with your own anecdotes, comments and explanations, the other person may immediately
become disinterested. Instead, try to keep the focus on them as much as possible.
Utilizing frequent questions is a good strategy to this end. If you find that the conversation is
dwindling, or if the person simply doesn’t respond well to questions, feel free to jump in
yourself. Tell an amusing story or a personal anecdote—it may be exactly what the conversation
needs to keep going.
6. Keep it light.
Try to keep the conversation as light and approachable as possible. If you immediately start
complaining about your job or talking about what’s wrong with your life, people will want to
avoid you. If you tell a joke or an amusing story, they’ll be far more likely to stay.
People tend to gravitate toward others with a positive attitude, so keep your conversational
material positive. If you struggle with this, try memorizing a handful of good jokes or good
stories to use when you meet new people.
These tips are written from a practical perspective, so they can be used in almost any
environment, from a professional networking event to a bar or restaurant. The key is to get over
your preconceived notions and hesitations and to embrace the reality of small talk. With a little
practice and more confidence, you should have no problem starting a conversation with anybody,
anywhere.
1. Match the meaning of the words with the description of it.
wanting to discover as much as you can about things,
sometimes in a way that annoys people.
Momentum
large in size, value, or importance.
Substantial
a short, often funny story, especially about something
Lubricant someone has done.
to be attracted to or move toward something.
scout (verb)
The force that keeps an object moving or keeps an event
inquisitive developing after it has started.
A substance put on any surface to help it move more
anecdote easily against another one.
to go to look in various places for something you want.
gravitate
2. Answer to the following questions:
a. What does the article talk about?
b. What kind of compliments does it promote and why?
c. Does it promote small talk?
3. Mark the following sentences as True/False according to the information in the
above reading passage.
a. It is usually more difficult to carry on with a conversation than to start it.
b. Based on the text, “I like the way you talk” would be a better compliment than “I
like how eloquently you speak.”
c. Small talks can pave the way toward insightful conversations.
d. Asking questions is not helpful for building a good conversation.
e. Small talks are usually a waste of time.
f. You should try to cross your arms in order to look more friendly.
g. You should not try to dominate a friendly conversation by not letting the other
person speak enough.
h. You should talk about your difficulties in life with the other person.
i. Making someone laugh by telling funny story can lead to a good conversation.
j. Smiling in a conversation is often discouraged.
4. Answer to the following questions:
a. Why are specific compliments better than over-generalized ones?
b. How can being able to start good conversations help you in life?
c. What example does the author use to emphasize the importance of small talks and
how are they related to one another?
d. Why is it important to be friendly in a conversation?
e. What are the three crucial aspects of body language emphasized in the text?
f. What is one possible way suggested in text, that can be used to move from a small
talk to a real conversation?
g. What should you do if the conversation you’re engaged in seems to be ending too
soon?
