Praise for Rich’s first book,

The Prosperous Coach

“My heart is still racing. This is one of the most direct, bold,
and provocative books I’ve ever read.”
—Derek Sivers, founder of CD Baby and
author of Anything You Want

“Rich Litvin is a business thought leader who counts.”

—Chip Conley, founder of Joie de Vivre Hotels
and author of Peak

“Once in a while a book comes along which gets you to fo-

cus on what really matters—human relationships! … one of
those rare gems which inspires, challenges, and allows for
no excuses.”
—Shama Kabani, best-selling author of
The Zen of Social Media Marketing

“The Prosperous Coach is an action-oriented wake up call.”

—Jeffrey Hayzlett, Global Business Celebrity
and best-selling author of The Mirror Test

“Rich Litvin and Steve Chandler offer a revolutionary ap-

proach to creating a career and business that you love.”
—Marci Shimoff, #1 New York Times best-selling author
of Love for No Reason and Happy for No Reason
 THE
Praise for Rich’s Coaching
SUCCESS
PA R A D OX
“Rich is a world-class coach and one of the most natural-
ly confident people I know. If you’re ready to make a real
and tangible difference in your life I highly recommend you
work with Rich.”
—Michael Neill, Internationally renowned Success Coach
and author of The Inside-Out Revolution

“Rich is a man of deep authenticity, passion & courage. He

is also one of the most skilled & intuitive coaches around.
I strongly recommend Rich to anyone looking to take their
lives to the next level.”
—Jamie Smart, best-selling author of Clarity and Results

Provocative Questions
for Top Performers

RICH LITVIN
 Table of Contents

The Loneliness of Leadership. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

Guilty Secret #1. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45

People admire me, but I feel lazy.

Guilty Secret #2. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57

I have lots of money and recognition but I’m not happy.

Guilty Secret #3. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67

The Success Paradox: I’m bored. I could do this with my eyes closed.
Provocative Questions For Top Performers
Guilty Secret #4. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
Copyright © 2017 by Rich Litvin I’m so good at solving problems I unconsciously create new
ones just to solve them.
Design by Danielle Baird
Mimi and Eunice Comics CC-BY-SA Nina Paley The 4% Shift. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85

Contact the author:

Rich Litvin, The Litvin Group
3435 Ocean Park Blvd
Suite #107-221
Santa Monica, California 90405

(323) 208-9064

hello@richlitvin.com
www.richlitvin.com
 A note from the author

You’re holding an exclusive, pre-released first draft of

the first few chapters of my book, The Success Paradox,
which I’ve created for my clients and my friends at EO,
The Entrepreneurs’ Organization. (The actual book
won’t be published until October 2017.)

This book is designed to show you new and exponential

possibilities for your life, your business and your legacy.

Please dive in and explore.

And keep asking yourself this powerful question:

How is my success to date holding me back from my

next level of success?

Love. Rich

P.S. I welcome your feedback, suggestions, ideas and

questions via email at hello@richlitvin.com. Please don’t
worry about pointing out typos as you are reading a first
draft — we have a crack team of editors who will work on the
book prior to publication.

Rich Litvin
Santa Monica, CA
January 2017
 When it rains, most birds head for shelter.
The eagle is the only bird that, in order to avoid the rain,
starts flying above the clouds.

• • •

This book is dedicated to the extraordinary leaders

out there. You know who you are.
 How to read this book

tl;dr is an acronym used online that literally means “Too

long; didn’t read”. What it has come to signify is: “here is
a summary of the text that follows.”

tl;dr
The Success Paradox
Everything you’ve done to be as successful as you are to-
day is precisely what is holding you back from your next
level of success. And the more successful you become
the harder that is for you to see.

The Loneliness of Leadership

The distinction between achievement and fulfilment.
The distinction between Conventional Success and Ex-
ponential Success. A 3-step process to review your vi-
sion, your thinking and your environment. Dive in here
for context or come back to it later.

The 8 Guilty Secrets of

Extraordinary Top Performers
Pick the ones you recognize in you, or read them all:

1. People admire me but I feel lazy.

2. I have lots of money and recognition but I’m not
happy.
3. I’m bored. I could do this with my eyes closed.
12  THE SUCCESS PARADOX

4. I’m so good at solving problems I unconsciously cre-

ate new ones just to solve them.
5. My big mission, that inspires so many people, doesn’t
inspire me any more.
6. If I stop working so hard it will all go away.
7. I’m not lonely but I feel very alone.
8. I’m exhausted but I won’t accept help.

The 4% Shift
To perform at an elite level, the challenges you face need
to be just 4% greater than your skills. The job of a top
performer is to seek the tiniest shifts that make the big-
gest impact.

Provocative Questions:
Don’t read this book for “information.” Read it for
“insight.” We are conditioned to see what works more
than what doesn’t work. So, use the questions at the
end of each chapter to look for gaps in how you see the
world. Let your intuition make the connections it needs
for your answers to arise.
 The Loneliness
of Leadership

I don’t need help.

I miss my dad. He passed away two years ago and I
miss him every day. A little part of my heart broke when
he left this world.
But I missed him when I was a little kid, too. You see,
my dad was an entrepreneur. He worked really, really
hard. He worked almost every day of my childhood. He
worked to take care of his family. He sweated the num-
bers at the end of every month. He worried about how to
pay for the mortgage and our school fees. He went years
without a vacation or a break. He missed parents’ days at
my school and my first day at university because he was
working.
I didn’t know then that my dad cried because he felt a
constant sense of guilt. He felt guilty when he was work-
ing—because he should be with his family. He felt guilty
when he was with his family—because he should be work-
ing. And I had no idea, as a youngster, that no boss is
ever as tough on an employee as an entrepreneur is on
himself.
I’m a parent myself now and I have so much compas-
sion for my dad. But he modeled a powerful lesson to me
16  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  17

at a very young age. I learned it was important to work A reply shot back to me over email from one of them:
my ass off to be successful. I learned how to go it alone. I
learned that I don’t need help. “Disappointing, Rich. You are a powerful man—get-
ting childcare for a scheduled meeting is within your
• • • power. And you could easily be home by 11pm.”
Come with me, if you will, on a journey about 30 years
I was angry. I knew better than to reply by email when
into the future. It’s a warm Los Angeles afternoon, I have
I was mad. But I needed to get this one out of my system.
two young boys of my own and I’ve felt this creeping
I hit reply and typed furiously.
sense of exhaustion throughout the day.
I’d been rudely awoken at 4 o’clock that morning by
“You know what would be nice? It would be you check-
my little baby. My wife was asleep, as she’d been nursing
ing in first to see how I’m doing. It would be you say-
him most of the night, so I crept quietly out of our bed
ing, It sounds like you might be having a hard time,
and I sat with him in the rocking chair, singing softly un-
Rich. It would be you checking in with me first before
til he fell back to sleep again. I was woken soon after by
letting me know how much I’ve disappointed you or
my other son. I dressed and fed both boys and took them
that you think I’m lacking power.”
out for a day at the Science Center because my kids love
the Space Shuttle. And then I really let rip with a deep held resentment:
Back then, I used to look forward to nap time because
it was a moment for me to rest. But, on this day, neither “I’ve been there so much for each of you over the time
of them would nap and by 5pm I was running on empty. I we’ve known each other. The past 6 months have been
was so tired, my temper was fraying and I had a sense of the toughest 6 months of my life. I’m physically and
deep overwhelm—that secret feeling parents sometimes emotionally worn out in a way I’ve never felt before.
have of wishing it was a work day because that would be And I have no idea how to ask for support. But right
so much easier than looking after little children. now I’m feeling pretty angry.”
I arrived back at the house with a sense of dread at the
long night ahead of me and I emailed a small group of I love my friends because they see through my stories.
close friends I was supposed to meet that evening: And we have a ruthless commitment to speak our truth
to one another.
“I’m not coming tonight, as Monique’s out for the night An hour later, I received this reply, from another
and I can’t get childcare.” friend:
18  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  19

“Rich, this pattern of yours is incredibly deep. You go I sent a text to some of my closest friends:
through the toughest 6 months of your life and none of Guys, can you help me? Monique is away. I’m taking
your closest friends have any idea. Zero. That’s how care of our boys alone. I’m sick and it feels like hours
deeply hidden you are. Why don’t you reveal what’s until their bedtime. I really need some help.
going on with you—why the need to appear so strong?”
Looking back, I see I am caught in a complete double
Ouch. He was so right. bind. Not only do I see receiving help as a weakness but
I can get really resentful at not receiving support. But I don’t even want to ask for help because if I ask and you
the truth is I have no damn clue how to ask for it. Asking don’t give it, I’ll feel rejected.
for—and receiving – help seems so weak. My whole mis- That’s what happened that day when some of my
sion is to be there for others. So I actively work hard to friends texted back that they couldn’t help me—it didn’t
keep help out. matter that they were in Hawaii or had other commit-
Shane Parrish once wrote: “Friendship is more than ments—I told myself that I didn’t matter to them. And I
just being there for your friends. Being a great friend wished I hadn’t even asked.
means that you let your friends be there for you.” But However, my friend Steve was in town and when he
that’s much easier said than done for me. read my text he jumped in his car to come over to be with
A few weeks later, I had another challenging day. My me and my boys. I so appreciated his company; he had
wife was out of town for the weekend, I was alone with such fun with the kids and they loved him. And he gave
my little boys again and I was sick. My head was throb- me the space to take a rest for a moment.
bing, my temper was frayed thin, and physically and But it was strange, I realized that I couldn’t rest. I
emotionally I was completely drained. wanted to take care of Steve. It’s what I do.
I pride myself on never needing help but at this mo- When I am with a friend, I put my attention on them,
ment I could tell that I really needed support. And yet I to find out about their life and how I can support them.
watched myself as I continued to put off reaching out to Even when I’m worn out, my attention goes to how I can
my friends. It took me over an hour to write a simple text take care of others.
message to ask for help. No wonder I’m exhausted hanging out with people if
You see, I run this story deep down inside of me. I can that’s the energy that I bring to all my interactions. No
handle it… Seeking help equals weakness… And why would wonder I like to be alone. No wonder I don’t ask for help.
anyone want to help me anyway? What’s interesting is that not needing help has been
But I was wrung out. I had nothing left. one of my gifts as a leader and an entrepreneur over the
So, finally, I did it. past 30 years. Not needing help has helped me be a trail-
20  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  21

blazer and a maverick. Doing it alone has led to some of There’s a cost to this. It weighs heavy to carry all of
my biggest successes. But it’s also been a lonely journey... this inside of you. It’s actually a burden to have so many
people who look up to you. And it doesn’t serve you to
have so many yes-people in your life.
Leadership is lonely It’s not just challenges. It’s successes, too. Once the
initial celebration is over, who can you really celebrate
Being a leader is lonely. with after you’ve sold your 8-figure business, made a
And nobody ever warned you, right? 7-figure deal or achieved something no one in your field
You’re a high performer at the very top of your game. has ever done before?
You’ve been successful in life and business. Yet you still And if we’re going to be really honest here, you have
face challenges. They are just not the kind of challenges guilty secrets too, that you carry inside of you.
you can share. In the quiet of your mind—when no one is listening—
After all, it’s not appropriate for you to share every- do you ever have any of the following thoughts?
thing in your world with your—directors, investors, se-
nior team, employees, clients or customers. You have a • People admire me but I feel lazy. I’m not
range of people in your life to whom you cannot (and really working that hard.
often should not) tell the complete truth.
• I have lots of money and recognition but I’m
And let’s be really honest here, there are some things
not happy.
in your world that it’s not even appropriate to share with
your spouse, your family or your friends. • I’m bored. I could do this with my eyes closed.
How can you tell your team that you are worried about
making payroll next month? How can you tell your wife • I’m so good at solving problems I uncon-
that your new initiative didn’t pan out? How can you tell sciously create new ones just to solve them.
your investors that your biggest competitor is ahead of
• My big mission, that inspires so many people,
you this quarter? How can you tell your old friends that
doesn’t inspire me any more.
you now pay more tax than they earn in a year?
Plus you’re often surrounded by people who think • If I stop working so hard it will all go away.
their job is to tell you what you want to hear rather than
• I’m not lonely but I feel very alone.
what you need to hear. When was the last time someone
told you, “That stupid decision you just made. That was re- • I’m exhausted but I won’t accept help.
ally stupid.”?
22  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  23

If any of these thoughts sound familiar, you are in What got you here, won’t get you there
good company.
In 2011, the New York Times featured an article about Whether you are a CEO, the managing director of a
the life and work of Reid Hoffman. Hoffman is an inter- financial firm or an entrepreneur disrupting the status
net entrepreneur and venture capitalist with a net worth quo there are four elements that got you to your current
of $4.7 billion dollars. He is the co-founder and executive level of success but won’t get you to your next level of
chairman of LinkedIn. success:
The piece finished by mentioning that he was about to
head off on his first real vacation in 9 years. “Before he Your Vision: You know how to dream big but you are
left, even the hyperkinetic Mr. Hoffman conceded that surrounded by people who have neither the skill nor the
he could use a break—at least a small one. ‘I’m function- confidence to guide you to a higher level.
ing at 60 percent capacity,’ he said.”
Your Thinking: You’re at the top of your field but you
One of the most common secrets of extraordinary top
don’t have anyone who can challenge the way you think
performers is the feeling that they are lazy.
or help you to ask better questions.
They’re not.
Reid Hoffman might have needed a break but he Your Environment: Does your network look the same
wasn’t functioning at 60 percent capacity. Feeling lazy as it did 20 years ago? Do you rarely meet new people?
is one of the most common guilty secrets of being a top Have you have outgrown your old community but you’re
performer. afraid to let them go? Or are you the most interesting
And it’s just one of the hidden challenges that high person in most rooms that you are in?
performers face because no one ever taught you what it
means to perform at this level. The Truth: You’ve succeeded at a high-level because of
As Herb Kelleher of Southwest Airlines once said, your willingness to speak your truth to others but suc-
“The easiest way to lose success is to become convinced cess can feel lonely when there is no one willing or able
that you are successful.” to speak the truth to you.
And Stephen Hanselman wrote: “When the Gods wish
to punish us, they give us exactly what we’ve always The impact of these four factors is that you can be at
wanted. Ask yourself what you’re after: Fame? Wealth? the top of the achievement ladder but you don’t feel ful-
The perfect man or woman? Now imagine yourself when filled. Being successful can seem overrated when your
you get it. What comes next?” worries are about higher tax rates, exorbitant school
fees for the kids or feeling trapped by a mission you used
24  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  25

to love. You don’t have the lifestyle or the legacy you a three step process to review their vision, their thinking
once dreamed of. Or maybe you have the lifestyle but it and their environment. All of this is overlaid with a deep
doesn’t bring the feelings it used to. honest look at their world—from the professional to the
personal.

Exponential Impact Exponential Vision

Even visionaries need to be challenged to dream bigger.
What gets a high achiever to where they are today When a visionary is surrounded by people who create ex-
won’t get them to their next level of success. But it ponential growth in their own business and life the lim-
doesn’t have to be this way. What I have observed about itations are removed on what is possible, in order to craft
high performers after working with them for years, being a powerful vision of the future, in two ways:
friends with them for decades, and being one for most of
my life, is that high achievers rarely have anyone in their 1. They Craft a Mission so powerful that nothing will
life who can challenge their thinking. They usually lack stop them—a mission that moves them to tears. Be-
an experienced, independent trusted adviser to whom cause if you want to move others, you need to feel
they can reveal their complete truth. And they are often deeply moved yourself.
surrounded by people who have neither the skill nor the 2. They Develop a Strategy so that day by day, month
confidence to guide them to a higher level. by month, they know precisely what actions to take—
High performers don’t need someone to answer their and, most importantly, what actions not to take.
questions. If they were already asking the right ques-
tions, they would have their solutions by now. Having Exponential Thinking
the right questions (rather than the answers they were As Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems
seeking) can catapult their life. with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
Success can be lonely, so it is a game changer for a When a top performer has someone who is willing to
top performer to have someone who understands them, challenge their thinking and help them to ask better
someone they can trust deeply to reveal their complete questions, they do two things:
truth, someone willing to challenge their thinking. Some-
one who hides nothing, holds nothing back, asks what 1. They Develop the Mindsets that helps them over-
needs to be asked and reveals what needs to be seen— come the fears, doubts, limiting beliefs or insecuri-
and asks that they are willing to do the same. ties that are holding them back. As well as a new set
When I work with top performers, I take them through of empowering beliefs to support them in creating
26  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  27

the next stage of their life.

2. They identify and Build the Skillsets needed to take
them to their next level—and work on them regularly.

Exponential Environment
Being the most interesting person in the room is overrated.
When their network looks the same as it did 20 years ago
and they rarely meet new people, it’s likely that they have
outgrown their old community, or maybe they are afraid to
let them go. To create an Exponential Environment they:

1. Focus on their People: It’s their team and their com-

munity who help them to leverage their impact. Hire
and spend time with people who enliven and energize
them and let go of the people who drain them of energy.

2. Select their Places with care. Spend time in places

that enliven and energize them. Cut out places that The Power of Provocative Questions
drain them of energy.
We’re already in agreement that you are one of — if
Reviewing their vision, their thinking and their envi- not the — best and brightest in your field, right?
ronment with radical honesty is the first step to creat- You’re an extraordinary top performer. And, you most
ing a life and a business that combines a high level of definitely don’t need help.
achievement with a high level of fulfilment. From this By definition, you are surrounded by people who don’t
place top performers can begin to make a real contribu- understand what it means to be a high-achiever. You are
tion before their time on this planet is over. They can surrounded by people who don’t get that success comes
build their ability to turn their desires into reality com- at a price. You are surrounded by people who say things
bined with the power to appreciate and enjoy life at the like, “I wish I had your problems…”
deepest level. You’re in the right place. Because this is not a self-help
book. It’s most definitely not another book about how to
28  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  29

become successful. And it’s not even a book of “answers.” over a decade of studying, researching, consulting and
You see, if anyone could solve the problems or chal- coaching world leaders and visionaries, from Los Ange-
lenges you are facing it would be you. As I said, you are les to London to Liberia.
the top in your field. I help successful people become more successful and
Rather, this is a book for people who are already very I’ve become an expert at taking high-achievers to the
successful—visionaries, entrepreneurs, business owners greatest levels of success.
and elite performers.­It’s designed to steer you towards Ultra-successful people—the kind of people you
better questions, rather than better answers. would assume don’t need support—are the ones who call
​As Tony Robbins once said, “The quality of your ques- me. My clients are usually by invitation and referral only.
tions determines the quality of your life.” A talent hotbed is a tiny place that produces world-
This book is intended as a mirror for high achievers class performers in sports, art, music, business and other
like yourself who thought they were unique in their disciplines. And I’ve been creating talent hotbeds for ex-
guilty secrets and alone in their internal dissatisfaction. traordinary clients since 2008.
It’s designed to provoke deeper thought about who you My clients have included Olympic athletes, Presiden-
are as a performer and as a person. tial candidates, Hollywood film directors, Special Forces
​Elon Musk considers Douglas Adams one of the great operatives and multi-million dollar business owners.
modern philosophers. Adams taught him that: “The The work we have done together has extended beyond
question is harder than the answer. When we ask ques- their professional life to penetrate deep into the life they
tions they come along with our biases. You should re- wanted to create with their spouse, their friends and
ally ask, ‘Is this the right question?’ And that’s hard to their children. Because no one on their deathbed ever
figure out.” wished they’d spent more time in the office or asked to
look at their bank balance. In the end, all that counts is
your relationships and your contribution.
Why would top performers like this need or even want
help or coaching?
Most don’t. A few rare ones do. You are not alone.
But first, let me tell you a story…

The concepts, distinctions and “guilty secrets “of top

performers that I am going to share with you come from
30  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  31

The Rebirth of the Eagle where you are won’t keep you where you are. And it’s a
hard lesson to learn.
The eagle is one of the largest and most powerful birds Now, whilst the process of change doesn’t need to be
of prey. as painful as the rebirth of that eagle, the truth is that be-
And there’s a mythical tale that claims eagles can live ing super successful as a visionary leader, a high-achiev-
up to 70 years. ing entrepreneur or an elite performer actually makes
According to the story, most eagles don’t live longer it much harder for you to see and acknowledge what is
than 40 years of age. holding you back.
In its 40th year, the eagle struggles to eat and even to Because the surprising truth of the matter is that the
fly. Its long and flexible talons can no longer grab prey. very things that have made you so successful—all the
Its long and sharp beak becomes bent. Its old, aged and personal and professional qualities that fueled your as-
heavy wings, due to their thick feathers, stick to its chest cent—are precisely what will keep you from reaching the
and make it difficult to fly. stars and fulfilling your true potential.
But at 40 an eagle actually faces two options — die or
go through a painful process of change.
To be “reborn,” the eagle retreats to its nest on a
mountain top.
It knocks off and then regrows its beak.
It plucks out and then regrows its talons.
Finally, it pulls out and regrows its feathers.
After undergoing a prolonged and painful process of Charles Handy has been rated in the top five of the
rebirth the eagle emerges, completely renewed. Thinkers 50 — a private list of the most influential living
It can go on to live another thirty years. management thinkers. In his 1994 book, The Age of Par-
• • • adox, he shared a little parable:

To be a top performer is to be like that eagle. Trapped The Wicklow Mountains lie outside Dublin, Ireland. It
by your very nature. Because those mindsets that have is an area of wild beauty, a place to which as an Irishman
helped you to become an extraordinary top performer born near there, I return as often as I can. It is still a bare
— have a hidden trap that are wrapped up within each and lonely spot, with unmarked roads, and I still get lost.
of them. Once I stopped and asked the way. “Sure, it’s easy, “a
You see, the paradox of success is that what got you local replied, “just keep going the way you are, straight
32  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  33

ahead, and after a while you’ll cross a small bridge examine why people like you think the way they do, and
with Davy’s Bar on the far side. You can’t miss it!” we’ll look at success stories from my network of clients
“Yes, I’ve got that,” I said. “Straight on to Davy’s Bar.” and colleagues—stories of people who were able to make
“That’s right. Well, half a mile before you get there, the shift in mindset and expand the very definition of
turn to your right up the hill.” “success.”

His directions seemed so logical that I thanked him and

drove off. By the time I realized that the logic made no Exponential Success
sense he had disappeared. As I made my way down to
Davy’s Bar, wondering which of the roads to the right In Josh Bersin’s Forbes article, “The Myth Of The Bell
to take, I reflected that he had given me a vivid exam- Curve,” he states:
ple of paradox, perhaps even the paradox of our times:
By the time you know where you ought to go, it’s too late “Hyper performers” are … the people who start com-
to go there, or more dramatically, if you keep on going panies, develop new products, create amazing adver-
the way you are, you will miss the road to the future… tising copy, write award-winning books and articles,
...It is one of the paradoxes of success that the things or set an example for your sales force.
and the ways which got you where you are, are seldom
They are often gifted in a certain way (often a com-
the things to keep you there.
bination of skill, passion, drive, and energy) and they
This is not a book of answers. If you’re the best in the actually do drive orders of magnitude more value than
world at what you do, you don’t need answers. Instead, many of their peers.
this is a book of provocative questions, to help you soar
Or, as Bill Gates once noted, there were a handful of
to even higher heights. This is a book designed to chal-
people at Microsoft who “made” the company and if they
lenge your thinking.
left there would be no Microsoft.
As Albert Einstein said, “If I had an hour to solve a
I’ve been fascinated by this concept of hyper perform-
problem and my life depended on the solution, I would
ers for the past decade. And in my role as a high-per-
spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper ques-
formance coach, I’ve been privileged to work with top
tion to ask… for once I know the proper question, I could
performers at NASA, Olympic athletes, Presidential can-
solve the problem in less than five minutes.”
didates, Hollywood film directors, Special Forces oper-
We will explore the eight most common mindsets of
atives, bomb-disposal experts, world-champion martial
top performers and take them apart, piece by piece. We’ll
34  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  35

artists and multi-million dollar business owners and en- roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.
trepreneurs. What interests me most is the top 20% of the top 20%.
That is the top 4% of high performers. At this level, it is
the very mindsets of these high achievers that have led
to their success that are actually holding them back from
what’s truly possible for them.
Exponential Success is about living as a hyper per-
former.

True Success
In his book How Will You Measure Your Life? Clayton M.
Christensen sets out the premise that some over-achiev-
ers are never happy or content with their lives. Top per-
formers are wired with a high need for achievement, and
get a big charge of energy every time they achieve some-
thing. This feels good and because they can see and feel
Research conducted in 2011 and 2012 examined the their success in a tangible way, they keep doing the same
performance of 633,263 people involved in four broad things.
areas of human performance. In each of these fields, the The problem occurs because this “success” isn’t what
researchers found that a small minority of superstar per- makes us happy in the long run. What we truly treasure
formers contributed a disproportionate amount of the for our long-term happiness is our relationships and our
output. contribution:
Performance in these groups followed a “Power Law” “But these relationships rarely deliver the same short-
distribution or “long tail,” where there are a small num- term “hit”; this is especially so in comparison with the
ber of “hyper performers,” a broad group “average per- sense of achievement high-achievers get from their ca-
formers” and a smaller number of “low performers.” reers. For example, it may take decades for you to be
This curve is known as a Pareto distribution, after able to stand back, put your hands on your hips, and
the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto. It relates directly say: “boy, we really raised some great kids.”
to The 80–20 Rule, which states that, for many events,
36  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  37

Conversely, if you keep investing your time at work, Mapping out these two factors, true success can be
on a day-to-day basis, it doesn’t feel like anything has found at the intersection of achievement and fulfillment.
changed on the home front. Your children will always Each of these 4 quadrants has an external focus and
be finding new ways of misbehaving, and your spouse an internal set of feelings. Each quadrant has associated
will still be there when you come home at night. with it, particular joys and challenges.

So starving those relationships of investments like your

time doesn’t feel like it’s costing you anything — all
the way up until it’s too late. You lose touch with your
friends, find yourself staring down the barrel of a di-
vorce, or become estranged from your own children.”

In business you may recognize this concept — it’s

called the resource allocation problem. The root cause of
many business failures is a focus on short-term achieve-
ments, instead of the critical ones that require a much
longer investment.
The first step is to recognize an important distinction
that many top performers miss—between achievement
and fulfilment. Tony Robbins has coached or advised
some of the most powerful and famous people in the
world, including Nelson Mandela, Bill Clinton, Margaret
Thatcher, Andre Agassi and Leonardo DiCaprio. He de-
fines success in life as a combination of two factors:

1. The Science of Achievement—the ability to turn

any dream into reality, to produce any result.

2. The Art of Fulfillment—the ability to find joy in

whatever life brings, the power to understand, appre-
ciate, and enjoy our lives at the deepest level.
38  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  39

Struggle and Striving You’re focused on creating money and recognition. You
challenge the status quo. And you do everything as fast
as possible.
Struggle You’re a problem solver. You set goals and achieve
When achievement and fulfillment are both low, that’s many of them. And you’re energized—by the risks you
called Struggle. We’ve all been there. take. You have probably outgrown your old community
In Struggle, people live life as if it is something that yet you’re afraid to let them go.
happens to them. They believe that power is something The focus in Striving is on success and hard work. And
beyond their control. And they tend to blame circum- the feelings are a sense of joy, flow and feeling energized.
stances and people for how they feel and for their level
of happiness.
They’re worn out from working so hard. They’re con- Conventional vs Exponential Success
stantly afraid and “trapped “by their problems. So, they
feel disempowered, helpless, needy and unfulfilled. Conventional Success
They say things like, “I don’t deserve this. Why is this Part of the challenge in distinguishing Exponential
happening to me? If only I had the money, the time and from Conventional Success is that they can feel and look
the opportunities that others do, then I’d be successful, like each other for a very long time:
too...”
The focus in Struggle is on envy, lack and scarcity.
And the feelings are a sense of pain, loneliness and
frustration.

Striving
Remember that feeling of working on a new project
or business, when you don’t go to bed until 2am because
you are so engrossed in what you are doing? Or remem-
ber waking up at 4am full of energy, despite just a couple
of hours of sleep?
Striving is a time when you actually enjoy feeling worn
out from working so hard. Your fulfillment level is high
but your achievement is low at this stage of the game.
40  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  41

Leaning Against The Wrong Wall Most people live in a world of conventional success.
Your achievement level is high but your fulfillment is low.
The standard dictionary definition of conventional You’ll recognize conventional success when people
success defines it as “getting or achieving wealth, re- admire you for your achievements, your wealth or your
spect, fame, popularity or profit.” recognition but it doesn’t give you the satisfaction you
So the first distinction between Conventional and thought it would. As Lily Tomlin said, “The trouble with
Exponential Success is that the latter includes a focus the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
on impact, fulfilment, peace, happiness, family, freedom
and fun. Or ​as the Roman philosopher Seneca wrote, two thou-
This distinction is the reason why so many of us have sand years ago: “This space that has been granted to us
had a feeling that, for years, we’ve been climbing the lad- rushes by so speedily, and so swiftly that all save a very
der of success—only to get to the top to discover that the few find life at an end just when they are getting ready
ladder was leaning against the wrong wall all along. to live.”

“The danger for high-achieving people is that they’ll

unconsciously allocate their resources to activities that
yield the most immediate, tangible accomplishments.

This is often in their careers, as this domain of their

lives provides the most concrete evidence that they are
moving forward.
You can be at the top of your field but you feel like
They prioritize tasks that give them immediate re- a square peg in a round hole because conventional suc-
turns—such as a promotion, a raise, or a bonus— cess doesn’t take account of what you love, your true
rather than those that require long-term work. values or what moves your soul. The focus in Conven-
tional Success is on wealth, respect, fame, popularity and
Although they may believe their family is deeply im- profit. And the feelings are loneliness, frustration, shame
portant to them, they actually allocate fewer and fewer and guilt.
resources to the things they would say matter most.”

— Clayton M. Christensen
42  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  43

Exponential Success mindsets on the scorecard and rate yourself from 1 to 12.
You’ll get a pretty good idea from this exercise which of
When achievement and fulfillment are both high, the eight mindsets most apply to you.
that’s called Exponential Success. It’s a different way of Once you’ve identified the mindsets that speak to you
living and creating, rather than a destination. Exponen- particularly strongly, feel free to skip straight to those
tial Success is about impact, the legacy you want to leave sections. This is a book designed to fast forward your
and the contribution you want to make. It’s about having journey to exponential success. Within these pages are
a mission so big that nothing will stop you—or a mission pieces of the map. It’s up to you to put it together and
that moves you to tears. Exponential Success includes envision a path forward.
a willingness to do the opposite of everything you’ve al- This scorecard is designed to help you measure your
ways done. Something particularly hard for super suc- capacity to achieve and feel fulfilled.
cessful people. It’s a way to codify the qualities that distinguish expo-
If you’re the most interesting person in the room nential success from conventional success.
you’re in the wrong room. And Exponential Success is And it will help you see how the very mindsets that
about spending time with people who stretch your mind have lead to the success you have now are holding you
and your thinking. People inspire you, whilst you also in- back from your next level of success.
spire them.
You wake up each morning with your blood singing at
the thought of being alive. And you work in your Zone of Go online now at
Genius—on only those things that have an exponential www.RichLitvin.com/scorecard
impact on your life, relationships and business.
to get an immediate assessment of your
The focus in Exponential Success is on impact, rela-
tionships, family and fun. And the feelings are a sense of Exponential Success Quotient.
fulfilment, peace, happiness and freedom.
You’ll discover that success has its own traps and find
out what they are for you.
The Exponential Success Scorecard
• • •
Before you read any further, I invite you to visit
J. K. Rowling is a British novelist best known as the
www.RichLitvin.com/scorecard and evaluate yourself
author of the Harry Potter fantasy series. Her books have
using the scorecard. Work your way down the list of
44  THE SUCCESS PARADOX

sold more than 400 million copies. She went from living
on state benefits to being a multi-millionaire within five
years. She is the United Kingdom’s best-selling living au-
GUILTY SECRET #1
thor, with a personal wealth of over $740 million.

“Success never feels the way you think it will be. Some
people would assume that you’re sitting around feel-
ing simply marvellous and shining your baubles.
But I remember, a week after I got my American deal, “People admire me,
which got me a lot of press, one of my very best girlfriends
rang me and said, “I thought you’d sound so elated.” but I feel lazy.”
From the outside, I’m sure everything looked
amazing. But in my flat, where I was still a sin-
gle mum and I didn’t know who to call to do my
You know that feeling when you’ve just accomplished
hair, everything felt phenomenally overwhelming.
a huge goal, signed a big deal or solved a major problem?
For the first time in my life I could buy a house, which
You’re elated. And you celebrate.
meant security for my daughter and me, but I now
But truthfully, how long do you give yourself  before
felt: “The next book can’t possibly live up to this.” So
you start looking at how you could have done it bigger or
I managed to turn this amazing triumph into tragedy,
better? How soon do you start setting your next big goal
in the space of about five days.”
or searching for the next problem to solve?
That’s the nature of being a high performer.
A sense of discontent. A sense of never enough. A
sense of so much possibility… if only I could accomplish
that little bit more.
The New York Times article about the billionaire Reid
Hoffman that I mentioned in the introduction quotes
him as saying “I’m functioning at 60 percent capacity.”
Bear in mind that this is a man who back in college
formed a conviction that he wanted to influence the
state of the world on a large scale. A man who was one
46  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  47

of the board of directors during the founding of PayPal, ers who were never taught what it means to perform at
later become the company’s COO and then it’s executive such a high level. People around them are astonished
vice at the time of its acquisition by eBay for $1.5 billion. at what they can accomplish, but it doesn’t mean very
This is the man who co-founded LinkedIn, that fourteen much to them, because they feel deep down that they’re
years later Microsoft proposed to acquire for $26.2 bil- not really doing all that much, compared to the people
lion in cash. around them—despite being so much more successful.
Hoffman is also one of Silicon Valley’s most prolific and Often, the reason for this cognitive dissonance is sim-
successful angel investors. He arranged the first meeting ple. We’ve all had it drilled into us that to succeed at the
between Mark Zuckerberg and Peter Thiel, which led to highest levels, we have to work hard. Not just work a lot,
Thiel’s initial angel investment in Facebook. Hoffman or work well; it has to be hard, with all the struggle, dis-
invested alongside Thiel in Facebook’s very first financ- cipline, and challenge that word implies. Your parents,
ing round. He is a frequent lecturer at Stanford Universi- your teachers, and every movie you ever saw, every book
ty, Oxford University, Harvard University, MIT’s Media you ever read, set you up to expect a lifelong climb up a
Lab, and others. He is a prolific writer, an author of two mountain to get to the top levels of achievement.
books and in 2014 President Barack Obama named him Extraordinary top performers have reached the peak
as a Presidential Ambassador for Global Entrepreneur- of that mountain, and yet they never felt like they were
ship. doing something hard. They expected to beat their heads
One of the most common characteristics I’ve found against a wall, to constantly feel the sting of sweat in
among the high performers I’ve spent time with and their eye as they toiled away, teeth gritted with sheer
coached over the past decade is a sense of laziness and willpower—and none of that happened. So, they reason,
unfulfilled potential. it must be true that they’re not working hard enough—
The output of these people is, across the board, in- that they’re lazy.
credibly high. They’re usually one of the most successful
people in their professional network, or their group of
friends. Zone of Genius
They work hard, long and constantly, at
their craft. Yet they feel they could be work- The gift of being a high achiever is that you operate
ing much harder, and feel guilty that they’re not. much of the time in your Zone of Genius—it’s a magic
It’s part of our gift as top performers to be future-based combination of challenge, ease, and excitement that pro-
thinkers. duces peak performance moments.
People like Hoffman aren’t lazy. They’re top perform- When you spend much of your time and energy in that
48  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  49

sweet spot of talent plus passion you exist in a flow state er than other people is not the reason.
which is what leads to exponential success.
Jason Fried, co-founder of 37signals, Basecamp and Flow is a mindspace of pure creation where it feels
co-author of Rework, was writing about what he calls like anything is possible. You’re in flow when you look
The Outwork Myth. What he wrote taps into why high up at the clock, and you see that you’ve been working for
performers have a deep inner sense of being lazy—and eight hours straight. Time speeds up. And sometimes it
why the average person constantly feels that they need feels like time slows down.
to work “harder:” Karen is an emergency room physician. Imagine for
a moment what it must be like to be in an emergency
You can’t outwork people... room after disaster strikes. This is Karen’s world. Maybe
there’s been a train crash or a violent incident with lots
Hours are never the differentiator — it’s never about of casualties. The doors crash open and wheeled stretch-
working more hours than someone else. It’s about the ers burst in, one after another, pushed by paramedics.
decisions you make. How you spend your time, what Screams and groans fill the air and there’s a buzz of en-
you do and don’t do. Especially what you don’t do. ergy as the full force of a catastrophe bursts through
the doors. The cries, the frustration and the underlying
Like Peter Drucker said decades ago, “There is noth-
sense of panic from civilians as the doctors, nurses, techs
ing quite so useless as doing with great efficiency some-
and paramedics all lend a hand to work as a machine to
thing that should not be done at all.”
save lives.
In those instances, Karen tells me that she is so hy-
The people who’ve made it didn’t make it because they
per-focused that she feels like she can literally slow time
worked harder than everyone else. There wasn’t some-
down, see paths of direction and action clearly, and exe-
one 100 hours behind who would have made it had
cute. Someone on the outside watching her is thinking,
they put in 101.
wow, she’s incredible. She’s a machine. She’s on fire. In-
People make it because they’re talented, they’re lucky, side her flow state, though, things are calm, and time ex-
they’re in the right place at the right time, they know pands like a bubble. She’s not creating time out of thin
how to work with other people, they know how to sell, air, but she might as well be, simply due to sharp inter-
they know what moves people, they can tell a story, section of her talent, skill, and laser-focus on the life-or-
they can see the big and small picture in every situa- death matters at hand.
tion, and they know how to do something with an op- Being in flow, working into your Zone of Genius, is
portunity. And so many other reasons. Working hard- the very definition of presence. You’re so present in this
50  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  51

moment that you don’t notice when it flicks to the next. ly ranked among the world’s wealthiest people. And in
You’re working on tasks that are so crucial, so exciting, 2012 Time named Buffett one of the world’s most influ-
so fascinating, that you feel you could spend your entire ential people.
life in that state. There’s a story of Buffett joking to his pilot that he
As a result, time flies, huge results are accomplished wasn’t doing his job because he’d been working for him
and everyone marvels at your achievements. too long. He offered to help him go after more of his
How do you do it? People wonder. When confronted goals and dreams.
with another person succeeding at a capacity that far Buffett asked his pilot to list the 25 most important
outpaces their own, most people default to the belief things he wanted to do in his life. And then he asked him
that that person is innately special, that they’re lucky to to review each goal and choose his 5 most important
have their god-given talent and skills, and that everyone ones.
else simply drew the short straw. Things got interesting when Buffett then asked him,
Frankly, there’s really nothing all that special about the “What about these other 20 things on your list that you
capacity of extraordinary high performers like yourself. didn’t circle? What is your plan for completing those?”
One of the things that’s different about you, compared His pilot said he’d focus mainly on his top 5 goals but
to those not yet at your level, is that you figured out a work on the others when he had spare time with just as
while back—either intuitively, or explicitly, through trial much dedication.
and error—that your work product skyrockets when you And that was the moment, Buffett turned serious.
are in your Zone of Genius. You understood The Pareto He said, “You’ve got it wrong. Everything you didn’t
Principle—that about 80% of your output comes from circle just became your “avoid at all cost list. “No matter
20% of your activities. And you focus on them ruthlessly, what, these things get no attention from you until you’ve
cutting out the banal stuff you’re not good at. succeeded with your top five.”
For most people, it’s really hard to to distinguish their As Buffett once said: “The difference between suc-
Zone of Genius because it comes so naturally. Not only cessful people and very successful people is that very
that, many people give their Zone of Genius away for successful people say “no” to almost everything.”
free because they don’t actually understand how unique
and valuable it is. Top performers operate naturally from
this place; and they’ve almost always found a way to Unique Ability
monetize it.
Warren Buffett is considered by some to be one of the Dan Sullivan, is the founder and president of Strategic
most successful investors in the world. He is consistent- Coach and has over 35 years “experience coach entrepre-
52  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  53

neurs. Dan defines “Unique Ability” as: a gig and I’d ask her how it went; invariably, she’d reply,
“First, it is a superior ability that other people notice “It was terrible.”
and value; second, we love doing it and want to do it as Now, obviously the gig wasn’t terrible, or she wouldn’t
much as possible; third, it is energizing both for us and keep getting booked. Yet that’s what she always said: “It
others around us; and, fourth, we keep getting better, was terrible.” I realized that I was asking her the wrong
never running out of possibilities for further improve- question. With her high performance mindset, she was
ment.” hyper-focused on the tiniest of flaws in her singing.
These are flaws no one in the audience ever would have
High performers naturally work in their Unique Abili- noticed, but they drove Monique crazy, and caused her
ty. You create on a level that can’t be matched by others, to write off her performances as failures.
and you become an energy source and inspiration for I changed the question. “What was the reaction at
others. When you’re leading a team, your team members your gig tonight?” I’d ask.
feed off your energy and take their cues from your pat- Her responses to this question were much different.
terns, because they see the success you’re having. When “I got a standing ovation,” she’d tell me. “They loved it!”
each member of a team is working into their Unique Or “I talked to someone after the show and they gave me
Ability area, the team thrives. It buzzes with creation. great feedback.”
You already know what your own Zone of Genius Monique is a hypercritical extraordinary top per-
is. You wouldn’t be at the level you’re at if you’d never former whose own opinion of her achievement is nev-
worked into your Unique Ability, or seen a glimpse or er as high as the opinions of those around her. Asking
had a taste of your Zone of Genius. If the guilty secret her what she thinks of her work will get me a list of
of feeling lazy resonates with you, ask yourself: what is ways she thinks she can improve. Asking her what oth-
gained by working outside your Zone? Why should cre- er people think of her performance gets me closer to
ation, accomplishment, true achievement, necessarily be the real picture of what she’s doing professionally.
difficult? Welcome to the world of being a top performer.
Monique, is an award-winning singer songwriter and Top performers rarely think they’re working hard
an immensely talented jazz singer. She’s released two enough. They rarely think they’re doing well enough.
albums; she’s highly respected. And she’s performed They agonize over that one extra mile they could have
across the globe from Amsterdam to Beijing, from Delhi pushed, because when they believe that only working
to Los Angeles. She’s the very image of success in her at a percentage of their capacity has brought them this
field. She also happens to be my wife. far, then what could be accomplished if they worked at
When we were first together, she’d come home from 100%? What worlds could they build with the full weight
54  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  55

of their drive for accomplishment fueling them? In the context of exponential success, the feeling that
Think of the greatest thing you’ve ever done, profes- you’re not working hard becomes your inner compass. It
sionally speaking. Think of your proudest achievement, means you’re doing the right work. When you’re working
or even the thing that brought you the most success or into your Zone of Genius, you’re doing things no one else
notoriety in your career so far. When you were doing it, on the planet can do as well as you. You choose to spend
was it a struggle? I’d wager you were in flow; you were your time and attention on the tasks best suited for your
buzzing with creation; you were exploring the landscape skills, and most exciting to your passions. That’s when
of your Unique Ability, and your output reflected the businesses take off and thrive: when the people running
depth of your passion. the show feel like they’re barely working at all.
Mindset #1 on the Scorecard you completed earlier In your Zone of Genius, hard work isn’t hard. It’s
at www.RichLitvin.com/scorecard is what we’ve been thrilling. But when you don’t understand this principle
talking about here. This is the High Performance mind- you’re left with a deep feeling of guilt.
set. At the Conventional Success level, you’re still oper- When I shared this concept with a multi-millionaire
ating with the guilty secret that you’re lazy, that you’re business owner who owns and runs nine business—each
not as hard a worker as everyone else thinks, that you’re of which pulls in several million dollars a year—he said,
not fulfilling your potential and working to the full ex- “Oh, my God, you are so right. But truthfully, I’m not
tent of your capacity. operating at 60% capacity—I feel like I’m only operating
at 5% capacity. I’ve got 95% more to give!”

At the Exponential Success level you begin to let go of

the idea of hard work. You’re not afraid of it. You’ll work
extremely hard if and when you need to. But you focus
on your Zone of Genius—on only those things that have
an exponential impact on your life, relationships and
business. You spend almost no time on the little things
that don’t inspire you, or that you aren’t exceptional at.
56  THE SUCCESS PARADOX

Provocative Questions to Help

You Challenge Guilty Secret #1 GUILTY SECRET #2

These questions are designed to provoke your

thinking. Use them to look for gaps in how you
see the world. Read them and then close the
book. Let your intuition make the connections it
needs for your answers to arise. “I have lots of money
1. Email 8-10 friends or colleagues and ask them and recognition but
I’m not happy.”
to be as honest with you as they can:
• Ask each person for five words to describe
your impact on them. How do they feel
when you leave the room?
• Ask them to describe your talents and As a young child, I felt that I needed to prove myself
abilities that make you extraordinarily to my father, in order for him to love me. It was part-
different from anyone else they know. ly because my dad worked so hard and such long hours
2. How do you inspire yourself and others? himself. If only I can work that hard, then he’ll really love
me. It was partly because he set high standards for me as
3. What activities do you have limitless energy
a youngster. If only I can get an A on the next test, then he’ll
for?
admire me. And it was partly because he wanted to sup-
4. If you were allowed to choose just one single port me to keep improving myself that any success I had,
focus or activity that will keep you absolutely he’d challenge me to do even better next time.
fascinated and motivated for the rest of your To this day, after any success in life or business, I give
life—what would it be? myself about twenty seconds of acknowledgement be-
5. What does your heart long for? fore I tell myself, You should have done it bigger or better
6. What problem would you love to wake up to or differently.
try to solve, every morning? Without knowing it, I spent much of my life trying to
earn my father’s love by proving myself to him and by
58  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  59

achieving more and more. This was the story I lived into. got that he already was.
And at one level, it worked for me because achieve I did. Because of the narrative I’d made myself believe, I’d
I became successful. I became well-known in my field. always shown up in a certain way. It made me work hard,
I accumulated money and status. I proved myself, and it made me succeed, but it also impacted my behaviors
then some, many times over. subconsciously. I was laser-focused, deep down, on a
But something was missing. So, I pushed harder. If I perceived lack of approval.
can just chip away at this success mountain, then I’ll get to One of my own coaches listened to me talk about my
the top and finally my dad will say he’s proud of me. frustration in not being acknowledged and praised by
certain people in my life. After a while, he stopped me.
“You know you’re creating that?” he said.
“What?” I replied.
He continued, “Look, I could train everyone in your
life to give you approval for everything you do, to ac-
knowledge everything you do, to praise you constant-
ly—I could do that. But you’d still find a way to focus
on what’s missing. Your navigation system is designed to
Not long ago my father passed away. It was a really look for places where you feel approval is lacking.”
challenging time and I am very fortunate that my broth- This blew my mind. It was painful hearing it, of course,
ers and I got to be with him at the end, telling him how but it was also eye-opening.
much we love him. Feeling a void of approval and praise was the driving
Soon after my uncle came said to me, “You know how force that made me successful. When it came to happi-
much your dad loved you, right? You know how proud ness, though, that focus was the very thing holding me
he was of you?” I heard him and I knew it was true but I back.
was a little confused. And in the months after he passed,
countless people told me how proud he’d always been of
me and how often he spoke of everything I’d achieved. You Can Never Have Enough of
It turns out that I took on a message at a very young
What You Don’t Really Need
age that I needed to prove myself. I’d been wrapped up
in a narrative for decades, one created by a child’s way of “I’d just sold my business for millions of dollars…”
interpreting his experiences. I’d spent my whole life try- a well-known entrepreneur told me. “And I was about
ing to make my dad proud of me, and somehow I never
60  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  61

to begin my second business when I realized that I’m fillment. Simply succeeding isn’t enough to fill the hap-
not happy. And the only reason I started my business in piness void; but, unfortunately, that’s all top performers
the first place was because I thought it would make me know how to do.
happy…” Many ultra-successful people can’t seem to find hap-
The hidden challenge that high performers face is that piness and fulfillment. They expect that the massive vol-
we can never have enough of what we don’t really need. ume of time and talent they pour into their ventures will
So we’re chasing success, money, recognition, profit, reap emotional benefits as well as financial ones. What
fame—yet deep down inside something is missing. De- am I doing all this for, if not to be happy? Where is happiness,
spite myriad accomplishments we’re unhappy. What’s if not at the end of a long journey to success?
more, we have no one to talk to about it, no one who Over years of coaching ultra-achievers, I’ve seen sim-
can commiserate. Who’s going to take seriously the ilar patterns of behavior that go really deeper—patterns
deep-seated unhappiness of someone who appears to written far back in childhood.
have it all? Xavier is a highly successful hedge fund manager who
An article in the UK Telegraph profiled businessman manages billions of dollars of investments. He built his
and philanthropist John Caudwell, who is worth an es- fund out of nothing; he has friends who lead govern-
timated two billion pounds. In the profile, he frankly ments in several countries. He has beautiful homes,
spoke about his low level of happiness, claiming that on he travels constantly and—on the outside at least—an
a scale of one to ten, he’s usually around a two. amazing life.
“If you think having money means that life is going Xavier arrived in the United States as a teenager. He
to be fantastic all the time, that you can move from one was bright and was accepted to good schools but he felt
wonderful thing to the next even more wonderful thing,” that he was never truly accepted by his peers because of
he said, “then you need to recalibrate.” he was born in another country. Some of the kids back
Here’s the thing: it’s not that success leads to unhap- then mocked him and bullied him by calling him an im-
piness. But it often leads to a lack of fulfillment. Maybe, migrant.
as a child, your survival or your family’s survival meant And four decades later it seems that no amount of
that you took on responsibilities that surpassed your money, success or status has allowed him to let go of that
age. You spent your life becoming overly responsible and label that he continues to feel envelop him.
extremely dependable. You over work and have trouble The wound that was created at a young age had a pro-
relaxing and having fun. found impact on him, and shaped the course of his life.
So the very skills, talents, and drive that make you so All his life, he heard the message: you don’t fit in. This
successful are actually what stand in the way of true ful- became his focus point, the thing he always saw in every
62  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  63

situation, without realizing it, just like I always saw a lack toluene. It’s known more commonly as dynamite. He
of approval and praise. marketed his invention as “Nobel’s Safety Blasting Pow-
He worked hard to fill the void of a constant sense of der” and made a fortune.
rejection. His hard work brought him immense success, One day his brother died and the local newspaper
but it didn’t bring him what he truly wanted; he’s never accidentally printed Alfred’s obituary instead of his
felt like he fit in. brother’s. The headline read: “The Merchant of Death is
Hurt by the taunts of kids who didn’t know any better, Dead.” The article went on to say, “Dr. Alfred Nobel, who
his bullies wrote a script for him that he has lived into his became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster
whole life. That script was never real. than ever before, died yesterday.”
You can never have enough of what you don’t really He was horrified. He had no wife, no children. His leg-
need. acy, as it stood, would be remembered as one of destruc-
For many entrepreneurs and leaders, it turns out that tion. He continued his work in explosives, but funneled
trying to prove yourself can result in real success in busi- his dynamite fortune into a trust. Upon his death, it was
ness and life. revealed that the money was to be used to reward and
However, there’s a cost. fund scientists annually, no matter their nationality. The
Non-stop achievement will make you rich. It may Nobel Foundation was born. And ever since, millions of
make you famous. It’ll make you respected, admired, dollars a year have been awarded to further the cause of
and praised. The one thing it can’t provide is fulfillment. peace.
Achievement itself won’t fulfil you; what you do with What a legacy.
the freedoms afforded by your achievements is what will How fortunate Alfred was to have an insight into the
earn you fulfillment. impact of his own death—before it happened.
Glimpsing a future where his only remembered con-
tribution was death and destruction refocused his ener-
Leaving A Legacy gy toward creating a lasting and positive impact. His vast
fortune could have been spent, or passed down to family,
Most people have heard of the Nobel Peace Prize. but it wasn’t; it was used for the pursuit of human dis-
Few know of it’s creator, a Swedish chemist, engi- covery and achievement.
neer, inventor and businessman named Alfred Nobel. Extraordinary top performers often find themselves
He was a chemist by training who discovered that by stuck at a high level of achievement but a low level of
mixing nitroglycerin and diatomaceous earth, one could fulfilment. Something is missing and they can’t figure
make stable sticks of high explosives, known as trinitro- out what; they’re unhappy, and they can’t figure out why.
64  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  65

They’re unmatched in achieving money and respect; they happy. They’re wonderful, yes, and they’re the wonderful
have no idea how to achieve fulfillment, the one blank perks of high achievement, but a focus on them alone at
spot in an otherwise picture-perfect puzzle. the level a high performer has already achieved, leads to
a conventional life.
As Gay Hendricks, executive coach to more than 800
executives at Fortune 500 firms, wrote:

As we climb up the ladder of career and success, we

tend to get attached to the perks that come from our
skills: money, security, respect and a clear path to
advancement. Slowly but surely, we start to become
afraid to move out of our comfort zone into something
that makes our hearts sing.

We settle for something respectable but not inspiring.

Your legacy, and how you contribute to it, are up to

you. Know that what got you to where you are—rich,
influential, and respected—is now what’s holding you
back. You’ve been so focused on achieving convention-
al success to full the fulfillment void that it’s tough to
switch your focus to what will be here after you’re gone.
The space on the Achievement-Fulfillment grid where
It’s imperative, however, if you want to move from con-
they exist is Conventional Success. Look at the focus in
ventional to exponential success.
that space: wealth, respect, status, popularity, profit. Ex-
A shift from exclusively focusing on the question
traordinary top performers need no help in accumulat-
“How can I make more money?” to “How can I change
ing those things. They’re experts in that regard. The shift
the world?” is an important step towards exponential
from low fulfillment to high fulfillment requires a com-
success. It’s when, despite the narrative you’ve lived into
pletely different focus: on impact, legacy, relationships,
for most of your life—and despite the long-standing rea-
contribution.
sons you’ve been unable to find happiness—you finally
To be fulfilled, you can no longer just focus on money
begin to create a sense of lasting fulfillment.
and status. They won’t fill the void that’s making you un-
66  THE SUCCESS PARADOX

Provocative Questions to Help

You Challenge Guilty Secret #2 GUILTY SECRET #3

These questions are designed to provoke your

thinking. Use them to look for gaps in how you
see the world. Read them and then close the
book. Let your intuition make the connections it
needs for your answers to arise. “I’m bored. I could
1. What contribution would you love to make? do this with my eyes
2. What world will you leave behind when your
time here is over? closed.”
3. What legacy will bear your name?
4. What will you create that will last beyond
your own lifetime? When I first met Andrea she was a super successful
entrepreneur and mother, happily married for many
5. What transformational ideas do you want to
years. She ran three separate businesses, two of which
be remembered for?
were each making over a million dollars per year. She was
6. What successful collaborations do you want respected and admired, with the the financial success to
to be remembered for? show for her achievements.
By any conventional measure, Andrea shouldn’t have
been surfing on a jobs listing site. But she was bored. She
had a great marriage, an amazing child on her way to col-
lege, and three businesses that she loved. But over two
decades of work in her field left her with the feeling, I’m
bored. I could do this with my eyes closed. She had more
than twenty five years of business success behind her,
but something was missing. And that morning she was
scanning job ads online.
68  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  69

It turned out that was the morning, I’d placed an ad for

an extraordinary personal assistant. And she immediate-
ly sent me a lengthy email applying for the job. When she
told her friends that she was seeking a job as my person-
al assistant, they thought she was crazy. But Andrea was
missing something from her life. She was able to run her
businesses with just a little attention each week and she
was craving a way to make a bigger impact in the world. Entrepreneurs and leaders are often innovators, mav-
Remember that sense of excitement you had when your ericks and rule-breakers. They challenge the status quo
business was just beginning to take off? That sense of joy on a regular basis. Why do I do things this way? What
—no matter how many hours you worked? That sense of would happen if I did things differently?
flow—hours could pass without you noticing and you’d
feel more energized at the end of the day than when you
began? Ever notice that those feelings are long gone? Invisible Rules
Well, they were for Andrea.
Now, I knew I’d written an extraordinary job ad be- The Paradox of Success is that your very success takes
cause because I had over 60 responses. But there was you on a path away from one of your greatest mindsets
one that stood out for me because she so clearly did not because you become trapped by a new status quo. You
‘need’ to work for me. I could literally feel her desire to know that feeling of being locked in to paying for mul-
make a contribution from the text of her email. tiple homes, new cars, the kids’ school fees or spousal
We were sold on each other after a single meeting and support, plus making payroll every month?
Andrea has been the Focus Director for my business for People who follow rules hardly ever make it to the top
over two years now. She still runs her three businesses of the success mountain. And you might even see that
on the side but now she’s as full of energy as was twenty it’s mostly a construct of your own fears and anxiet-
years ago. She’s part of a company that literally makes an ies but from the top of that mountain, it’s a lot harder
impact on people’s lives and she loves it. She works more than it used to be—to innovate, to be a maverick or a
hours than I could possibly pay her for. And she spends rule-breaker.
more time taking care of our clients than I could have You can’t be outstanding if you don’t stand out, you’re
ever imagined. a rule-breaker by habit but as you become more and more
successful, you actually began to create invisible rules of
your own without realizing it. Your new rules became the
70  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  71

rules. You built yourself the same social construct you ways a limit, some made-up boundary, that’s been fab-
originally broke out of. ricated by years of conditioning and the positive rein-
Paula is a Stanford law professor. When we first met, forcement of success on a certain path. Straying from a
she was at the very top of her game, professionally. There path that’s brought you incredible wealth and repute is
was no one else in the world who could do what she did, absolutely terrifying for most people, and especially for
and her reputation exceeded her qualifications. Howev- top performers, to whom even the possibility of failure
er, she’d begun to realize there was nowhere else for her is anathema.
to climb, no higher peak to reach for. She was quite liter- It took months of coaching for Paula to see that this
ally at the summit of her chosen career. This would have fear holding her back was a false trap she’d created for
been fine, but the problem was, she was bored. Lecturing herself. It wasn’t real. She wasn’t even bound by the
simply wasn’t exciting anymore. She was teaching the constraints of her career; she could be and do anything,
same stuff semester in and semester out; the energy had really, she just hadn’t conceived of an option besides
gone out of her career, and she wasn’t inspired anymore. teaching.
Once again, when she came to me, I heard those exact I asked her what her dream job was. If she could do
words: “I’m bored. I could do this with my eyes closed.” absolutely anything in the world, what would it be? How
There were opportunities for her outside academia, of would she contribute in her dream reality?
course; she was a highly sought-after speaker and lectur- She told me that she’d always had a dream of consult-
er. But being a full-time professor brought with it a cer- ing with leaders at the World Bank. She wanted to advise
tain inflexibility. To do her job, she needed to be present and guide the world’s top financial experts and have a
at Stanford, and this left little opportunity for growth on more immediate hand in the workings of the global econ-
the side. She wanted to branch out and lecture on the omy. When I asked her why she didn’t just go do that,
side, but she was rooted by fear; if she left her ultra-suc- then, she responded that she didn’t believe she could.
cessful position at the university, where would that leave How could she be a consultant at the level she dreamed
her reputation? She’d already spent her career building it of, without first building that career over decades?
to an unmatchable level; how could she do it again? Did When I’m coaching people, what I’m really doing is
she even want to? breaking up their thought patterns. I’m challenging the
Being able to say she was a Stanford law professor was pathways their brains are comfortable in, and forcing
a huge part of her identity, too. She was paralyzed by the them to form new ones. With coaching, she began to
fear of walking away from her reputation. see that, rather than being trapped in a role that bored
When I take on a client like this, the first thing I do her, she was actually perfectly positioned to move into
is get a sense of the scope of their dreams. There’s al- consulting. As an academic, she’d built up a huge array
72  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  73

of contacts in just about every field imaginable, but es- “How many houses would I have to build to get rid of
pecially in government and finance. And she’d built a this pain in my life?” The number 100 felt bigger than
reputation that preceded her no matter which room she her pain. She wrote, “I would think about these families
walked into, which door she knocked on. She had only to that don’t even have a place to live and that would get me
go out and do exactly what she dreamed—but first, she out of bed.” And that year she raised $200,000 toward
had to let go of the false traps that had been holding her her goal.
back. A couple of years later, she was about to turn 50—a
Within a few months, she had landed her first client at fact she was rather depressed about! When she heard
the World Bank. These days, she advises two of the top that the son of a friend had, for his bar mitzvah, asked
leaders in the organization. Her career looks nothing like people to donate money to help build a school in Ugan-
what it did a year ago; she’s earned even more acclaim, da, she found a new purpose. For her birthday that year,
and her reputation continues to skyrocket. she invited 100 people and asked them to each donate
some money instead of giving a gift. By the end of the
night, they’d raised $25,000, enough money to build a
school in Africa.
Cynthia was astonished and soon after, founded The
Unstoppable Foundation—an organization that has now
built dozens of schools across Africa, changing the lives
of countless children forever. The Foundation also helps
women become entrepreneurs, strengthening communi-
A Cure For Your Pain ties from the inside out by empowering its members to
Cynthia Kersey is an author whose books have sold create their own wealth.
over 500,000 copies worldwide. But a few years back she The pain of her situation, provided a lightning bolt of
was at a low point in her life, grieving and heartbroken deep reflection. And that was the moment that Cynthia
because her marriage had broken up. Desperate for a shook herself out of the life of boredom and frustra-
fresh perspective, she spoke to Millard Fuller, the found- tion she’d been stuck in. She created a whole new par-
er of Habitat for Humanity. “When you have a great pain adigm for contribution, and added a new frontier to her
in your life, you need a greater purpose,” he told her. career path.
Why don’t you build a house for a family in need?” Sarah was running a $20 million business when
Cynthia asked herself a simple yet powerful question we met. She’d founded the company in her twenties.
From the outside, she couldn’t have looked more suc-
74  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  75

cessful. On the inside, though, she was bored. “I could was still shooting for conventional success, the simple
do this with my eyes closed.” she told me. “I miss accumulation of money and customers and experience.
having a community of high performers around me.” She’d forgotten that she’d already built a foundation of
She’d started something when she was young, and her freedom with her existing company, and her mindset
natural talents had built it into something huge, but could shift from wealth-building to inspiration.
it was no longer what she truly wanted to be doing; it She began to focus was on what really ignited her pas-
didn’t inspire her. She loved working with people and sion and funneled her talents and experience best. We
solving problems, so she’d decided to sell the business crafted a lifestyle for her where she’d work just three
and become a coach/consultant instead. That’s how she days a week. Mondays are now a free day for her to do
found me. whatever she wishes. Tuesdays to Thursdays, she coach-
She’d begun the process of launching a consulting es and mentors her senior team to empower them to
business by the time we met. I looked at her materials take her business to new levels. And on Fridays she has
and I was frank with her. Her website was boring. It was one private consulting client and one non-profit to guide
predictable and dull, and it blended invisibly into the and advise to create the contribution she really wants
huge crowd of consultants and coaches out there vying to make.
for clients. This was an exceptionally talented woman She’s working less than ever before, because she’s now
with a world-class mind and skill set; why was she pre- leaving the work to her increasingly capable team. And
senting herself in this way? she’s begun an MBA at an Ivy League business school,
We began a series of powerful conversations. Instead where she’s once again surrounded by a community of
of answering her questions about how to grow her new top performers.
business, I helped her create some new, more powerful The problem with being ultra-capable and ultra-suc-
questions to live into. Through these conversations, she cessful is that you can’t see the limitations of the world
came to the realization that her greatest gifts were ones you’ve created for yourself. Everyone else around you as-
she’d already fulfilled at a young age—that her greatest sumes naturally that you know exactly where to go next.
qualification was who she was as a business owner, and When this isn’t the case, you’re rudderless, and seeming-
her personal history of success. “You have a built-in pool ly trapped by your world.
of 20 or so clients who can kick off a brilliant specialized The trap is your own mindset. Instead, boredom and
coaching program,” I told her, “and it’s your own senior frustration can become your new compass, to help you
leadership team.” break free and in doing so, discover paths you didn’t yet
This blew her mind. She’d been under the impression know existed.
that her ideal client was anyone who would pay her; she
76  THE SUCCESS PARADOX

Provocative Questions to Help

You Challenge Guilty Secret #3 GUILTY SECRET #4

These questions are designed to provoke your

thinking. Use them to look for gaps in how you
see the world. Read them and then close the
book. Let your intuition make the connections it “I’m so good at solving
needs for your answers to arise.
problems I unconsciously
1. What is boring you most, right now?
2. What are you tolerating?
create new ones just to
3. What is your greatest frustration? solve them.”
4. What’s missing from your life?
5. How do you keep it out?
6. What could you do that would have people Teo Alfero is the founder of Wolf Connection, a wolf
call you a rule-breaker and a maverick, once sanctuary that takes care of 30 wolves and uses them to
again? help rehabilitate at-risk youth.
Teo comes from Argentina, and he spent most of his
youth and young adulthood outdoors. After a period in
the army, he focused on rock climbing and outdoor ad-
ventures. He constantly came across kids that benefited
immensely from being mentored in the outdoors.
For many years, he headed in a different direction,
as he became a successful entrepreneur. But some-
times your true calling simply comes calling for you.
And one day, he offered to help friend who was strug-
gling to take care of a young wolf-dog he’d been given.
A while later, an old lady—the owner of a dozen wolf-
dogs — died and the local dog pound where Teo had been
78  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  79

volunteering was about to have them put down because You become attuned to potential problems and you an-
they couldn’t cope with them. Teo couldn’t conscience ticipate them so you can fix them before they grow out
this happening and before he knew what he was doing, of control. You become incredibly good at solving them,
he told them, I’ll take care of them! too. Every time you do, every time you fix something, you
He quit his job, sold what he owned and moved to a get a little thrill of accomplishment. You start to feed on
plot of land, north of Los Angeles, where he could take this because you relish the feeling of saving the day and
care of these animals. He used his background to develop so you unconsciously create problems where none exist-
programs for at-risk youth that took them outdoors and ed, just so you can solve them. We call this White Knight
acted like a rite of passage to help them build a sense of Syndrome.
confidence and accomplishment. The problem with being a White Knight is that your
Wolf Connection is a non-profit, and because Teo is team become disempowered and are reticent to make
such a unique individual, he has built incredible connec- decisions. Why solve a problem, when your Superhero
tions with celebrities in nearby Hollywood. They have leader will save the day, anyway?
helped raise funds and awareness and put a spotlight on
the cause that is so dear to this man’s heart.
Now, when these celebrity partners come visit the
ranch, Teo is the only one who can spend time with them.
Because Teo is a lightning rod of inspiration he’s the one
they come to see. Teo spends a portion of his time with
them, doing the things only he can do, and bringing re-
sources to the organization like only he can. However, he What’s detrimental about this mindset is that, with
also feels the need to have his hands deep in the day-to- so much practice looking for problems, soon problems
day of the organization. It’s his baby, and he can’t step are all you can see. You fall into a trap many entrepre-
away from all the little pieces of running it, even though neurs are stuck in – problem-solving mode. Your whole
his team could handle that part perfectly. existence in your business is putting out fires, and when
there aren’t any fires to put out, you unconsciously create
White Knight Syndrome some so that you can save the day. You begin to equate
solving problems with getting things done. They’re not
Top performers find it difficult to step back and let the same thing. If you’re in problem-solving mode, then
others do what they do so well. After all, one of your gifts all your time is taken up with fixing what’s wrong. You
is that you are good at scanning the horizon for danger. have no time to work at the higher level of creating a
80  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  81

more powerful vision. young people can grow and learn alongside the wolves in
Plus, when you’re the White Knight you force other a beautiful setting.
members of your team to retreat into undesirable roles. Before, he was constantly solving problems. Where
After all, when you play the role of ‘hero’ in every sit- are we going to get the next donation from? How will
uation the only roles left are ‘victim’ and ‘villain’. It’s we pay for the resources the animals need? Where will
the classic storytelling triangle that humans naturally our next volunteer group come from? Now, he’s able to
fall into. You’ll look around at your team one day and step into the unique lightning-rod role that he was born
wonder why no one is living up to the potential they for, and he can let his team solve the daily challenges as
showed when they were hired. It’s because every time they arise.
you charged into a situation to save the day, you took Teo has stopped being the only superhero in his or-
away their power; you turned them into victims rather ganization and started creating superheroes within his
than empowering them to greatness. team. You don’t need to save the day in every single mo-
Your shift to exponential success comes as you let go ment. Save the White Knight mode for the big stuff—like
of your need to be the hero—and instead, you start to creating the vision that makes it all possible.
create more heroes. Help your team to save the day them-
selves; empower them to swoop in and tackle challenges. Thriving On A Challenge
As Teo began to step outside of problem-solving
mode and enter visionary mode, he began to see that the Another challenge that arises when you’re energized
scope of what he could do was so much bigger than sav- by challenges and threats is that you sometimes avoid
ing the day on the ground at Wolf Connection. And as things — taxes, relationships, income, etc. — until they
he indulged his visionary side, the side of him that had reach problem-level status.
thrived outdoors on his adventures so long ago came There’s a deep-seated thrill to know that, when time
alive once again. is tight and tension is great, you can deliver. It’s like a
There’s a reason the brightest people in the world re- high when you swoop in and solve the problem at the last
treat to nature; the best ideas, the most expansive think- minute. You thrive on the adrenaline. You tell yourself
ing, happens away from people and out in the wild. And that you work best under stress. And it does work—for a
Teo has moved beyond his initial vision of creating a while. You can achieve a high level of conventional suc-
center to support at-risk youth that relied on a steady cess by constantly working at a red-alert stress state.
influx of donations and attention. He’s now building a And as a high performer, if you’re not playing a big
retreat center that will be self-sustaining, and will actual- enough game, you’ll actually often screw up the one
ly generate the funds to support itself indefinitely, where you’re playing so you’ll have something to work on.
82  THE SUCCESS PARADOX

Provocative Questions to Help

You Challenge Guilty Secret #4 GUILTY SECRETS

These questions are designed to provoke your

thinking. Use them to look for gaps in how you
see the world. Read them and then close the 4 More Secrets of Extraordinary
book. Let your intuition make the connections it
needs for your answers to arise.
Top Performers...
So far, you’ve seen and heard just half of the story. In the
1. What’s working about your business/life-
complete book, you’ll read the four other secrets as well as
style/family/relationship?
much more detail on the 4% Shift.
2. What’s not working about your business/life-
style/family/relationship? Guilty Secret #5
3. When was a time in your life that you felt “My big mission, that inspires so many people, doesn’t
most alive? What were you doing? inspire me any more.” And the story of the man who sold
4. Why are you committed to doing the things his $100 million dollar business...
that you ‘say’ you don’t want to do?
Guilty Secret #6
5. What’s the upside of keeping your problems? “If I stop working so hard it will all go away.” And the sto-
6. What’s the downside of getting rid of your ry of the woman who turned down $10 million dollars...
problems?
Guilty Secret #7
“I’m not lonely but I feel very alone.” And the story of the
lonely bomb disposal expert…

Guilty Secret #8
“I’m exhausted but I won’t accept help.” And the sto-
ry of the Olympic athlete selling calendars to fund her
Olympic bid...
84  THE SUCCESS PARADOX RICH LITVIN  85

The 4% Shift

Stephen Kotler has studied elite athletes who achieve

“impossible” athletic feats on a regular basis. These are
the kind of people who jump off a mountain in a wing-
suit or who surf the world’s highest waves.
Being a leader or an entrepreneur can sometimes feel
like life or death but for these athletes, the tiniest slip-
up could actually result in their death. And yet they are
high-achievers who want to continually push themselves
to perform at a world-class level.
What Kotler discovered is that to perform at an elite
level, to keep building your skills and yet to not push
yourself so far that you risk your own death, the challeng-
es you face need to be just 4% greater than your skills.
Because this will trigger flow and high level achievement.
The problem is that a 4% increase in challenge is too
high for the average person but actually too low for most
high performers who try to push far past it and end up
limiting themselves.
When I’m coaching a high performer the most import-
ant word I hear is not ‘Wow!’ but ‘Hmmmm....’ The job
of a top performer is to seek out the tiniest shifts that
make the biggest impact. You’ll discover—once the book
is published—how applying The 4% Rule in your life can
result in a huge impact...
 About Rich Litvin
A highly-acclaimed thought
leader and Success Coach,
Rich is co-author of the book
The Prosperous Coach, which
has sold over 30,000 cop-
ies. He is the founder of The
Confident Woman’s Salon and
The High-Achieving Introvert
Project. He is a member of the
Association of Transformational Leaders. And his big
picture is to mobilise $100 million for charity, through
his connections.
A scientist by training, he has a background in Behav-
Be the first to know ioral Physiology and Psychology. He trained to teach at
the University of Oxford and he has a master’s degree in
when The Success Paradox Educational Effectiveness & Improvement.
Rich has lived and worked in eight countries and on
is published. four continents. His wife, Monique, is an award-winning
singer/songwriter. They are the proud parents of two
little boys. An introvert at heart, Rich still gets nervous
RichLitvin.com/successparadox walking into a party. He has at various times in his life
been extremely talented and high-performing and at
others a complete mess.
Rich gives talks on The Success Paradox and The
Power of Deep Coaching. Several times a year, he runs
a private evening Salon in Los Angeles and London for
extraordinary top performers.
For more about Rich visit www.RichLitvin.com.
 Exponential Success Exponential Community
Rich Litvin is an expert at taking high-achieving en- Being a leader can be lonely. And if you’re the most in-
trepreneurs to the greatest levels of success. He runs a teresting person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
boutique leadership consultancy serving a select group Which is why Rich founded 4PC — a highly curated com-
of world leaders. He provides the world’s most influen- munity of the top 4% of coaches and entrepreneurs.
tial people with the guidance, support and coaching to Our members include a consultant to The White
achieve what they cannot imagine on their own. House, a coach to leaders at The World Bank, an ex-navy
Our clients are high performers, functioning at what bomb-disposal expert, a top surgeon, a woman who was
appears to be the top of their game. They include Olym- the Assistant Chief Scientist of the Human Performance
pic athletes, Presidential candidates, Hollywood film Wing of the Air Force Research Laboratory and the CEO
directors, Special Forces operatives and serial entrepre- of a Wolf Sanctuary!
neurs. They create exceptional results, hyper-growth Membership is for a year at a time and many members
and remarkable products and services. renew their membership—year after year. 4PC is de-
Most top performers lack an experienced, indepen- signed to be uncomfortable and challenging. You should
dent trusted adviser to whom they can reveal their com- be a little intimidated by us. And we should be a little in-
plete truth. And they are surrounded by people who have timidated by you. And that’s not an interesting concept,
neither the skill nor the confidence to guide them to a it’s an entrance requirement.
higher level 4PC is by application only and—if accepted—we
We understand the high level challenges you face and ask you to risk the success you’ve become to get to
the effect they have on you. We challenge your thinking. your next level of success. Space is limited to 40 select
We don’t answer your questions. Instead, we create the members and there are usually only a few spots available
questions that catapult your life. each year.
Rich works with just 5 one-on-one clients a year.
Many clients are by referral. To learn more and apply, visit
www.RichLitvin.com/4PC
To learn more and apply, visit
www.RichLitvin.com/clients
 Great work is done
by people who are not afraid
to be great.
— Fernando Flores
 “Rich is a man of deep authenticity, passion & courage.
He is also one of the most skilled & intuitive coaches around. I strongly
recommend Rich to anyone looking to take their lives to the next level.”
—Jamie Smart, best-selling author of Clarity and Results

LEADERSHIP IS LONELY.
AND IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY.

The Success Paradox: Everything you’ve done to be as successful

as you are today is precisely what is holding you back from your
next level of success. Many high performers have a life of achieve-
ment but still feel like something is missing, deep down inside.
Success can be lonely because high performers rarely have anyone
in their life to whom they can reveal their complete truth. In the
quiet of their mind, these extraordinary leaders experience a range
of guilty secrets:
• “People admire me but I feel lazy.”
• “I have lots of money and recognition but I’m not happy.”
• “I’m bored. I could do this with my eyes closed.”
• “I’m so good at solving problems I unconsciously create new ones
just to solve them.”
• “My big mission—that inspires so many people—doesn’t inspire me
any more.”
• “If I stop working so hard it will all go away.”
• “I’m not lonely but I feel very alone.”
• “I’m exhausted but I won’t accept help.”

The Success Paradox teaches top performers that having the right
questions—rather than the answers they are seeking—can catapult
their life into the realm of exponential success.

RICH LITVIN is the president and founder of The Litvin Group, a boutique lead-
ership consultancy based in London and Los Angeles. His clients include Olympic
athletes, Presidential candidates, Hollywood film directors, Special Forces opera-
tives and serial entrepreneurs. Learn more at RichLitvin.com