Intake Interview and Stan’s Autobiography

The setting is a community mental health agency where both individual and group
counseling are available. Stan comes to counseling because of his drinking. He was convicted of
driving under the influence, and the judge determined that he needed professional help. Stan
recognizes that he does have problems, but he is not convinced that he is addicted to alcohol.
Stan arrives for an intake interview and provides the counselor with this information.

At the present time I work in construction. I like building houses, but probably won’t stay in
construction for the rest of my life. When it comes to my personal life, I’ve always had difficulty in
getting along with people. I could be called a “loner.” I like people in my life, but I don’t seem to know
how to stay close to people. It probably has a lot to do with why I drink. I’m not very good at making
friends or getting close to people. Probably the reason I sometimes drink a bit too much is because I’m
so scared when it comes to socializing. Even though I hate to admit it, when I drink things are not quite
so overwhelming. When I look at others, they seem to know the right things to say. Next to them I feel
dumb. I’m afraid that people don’t find me very interesting. I’d like to turn my life around, but I just
don’t know where to begin. That’s why I went back to school. In one of my classes, Psychology of
Personal Adjustment, we talked about ourselves and how people change. We also had to write an
autobiographical paper.

Stan’s Autobiography

Where am I currently in my life? At 35 I feel that I’ve wasted most of my life. I should be finished
with college and into a career by now, but instead I’m only a junior. I can’t afford to really commit
myself to pursuing college full time because I need to work to support myself. Even though construction
work is hard, I like the satisfaction I get when I look at what I have done.

I want to get into a profession where I could work with people. Someday, I’m hoping to get a
master’s degree in counseling or in social work and eventually work as a counselor with kids who are in
trouble. I know I was helped by someone who cared about me, and I would like to do the same for
someone else.

I have few friends and feel scared around most people. I feel good with kids. But I wonder if I’m
smart enough to get through all the classes I’ll need to become a counselor. One of my problems is that I
frequently get drunk. This happens when I feel alone and when I’m scared of the intensity of my
feelings. At first drinking seemed to help, but later on I felt awful. I have abused drugs in the past also.

I feel overwhelmed and intimidated when I’m around attractive women. I feel cold, sweaty, and
terribly nervous. I think they may be judging me and see me as not much of a man. I’m afraid just don’t
measure up to being a real man. When I am sexually intimate with a woman, I am anxious and
preoccupied with what she is thinking about me.

I feel anxiety much of the time. I often feel as if I’m dying inside. I think about committing
suicide, and I wonder who would care. I can see my family coming to my funeral feeling sorry for me. I
feel guilty that I haven’t worked up to my potential, that I’ve been a failure, that I’ve wasted much of my
time, and that I let people down a lot. I get down on myself and wallow in guilt and feel very depressed.
At times like this I feel hopeless and that I’d be better off dead. For all these reasons, I find it difficulty to
get close to anyone.

There are few bright spots. I did put a lot of my shady past behind me, and I did get into college.
I like this determination in me—I want to change. I’m tired of feeling the way I do. I know that nobody is
going to change my life for me. It’s up to me to get what I want. Even though I feel scared at times, I like
that I’m willing to take risks.

What was my past like? A major turning point for me was the confidence my supervisor had in
me at the youth camp where I worked the past few summers. He helped me get my job, and he also
encouraged me to go to college. He said he saw a lot of potential in me for being able to work well with
young people. That was hard for me to believe, but his faith inspired me to begin to believe in myself.
Another turning point was my marriage and divorce. This marriage didn’t last long. It made me wonder
about what kind of man I was! Joyce was a strong and dominant woman who kept repeating how
worthless I was and how she did not want to be around me. We had sex only a few times, and most of
the time I was not very good at it. That was hard to take. It made me afraid to get close to a woman. My
parents should have divorced. They fought most of the time. My mother (Angie) constantly criticized my
father (Frank Sr). I saw him as weak and passive. He would never stand up to her. There were four of us
kids. My parents compared me unfavorably with my older sister (Judy) and older brother (Frank Jr.).
They were “perfect” children, successful honor students. My younger brother (Karl) and I fought a lot.
They spoiled him. It was all very hard for me.

In high school I started using drugs. I was thrown into a youth rehabilitation facility for stealing.
Later I was expelled from regular school for fighting, and I landed in a continuation high school, where I
went to school in the mornings and had afternoons for on –the-job training. I got into auto mechanics,
was fairly successful, and even managed to keep myself employed for 3 yeas as a mechanic.

I can still remember my father asking me: “Why can’t you be like your sister and brother? Why can’t you
do anything right? And my mother treated me much the way she treated my father. She would say:
“Why do you do so many things to hurt me? Why can’t you grow up and be a man? Things are so much
better around here when you’re gone.” I recall crying myself to sleep many nights, feeling terribly alone.
There was no talk of religion in my house, nor was there any talk of sex. In fact, I find it hard to imagine
my folks ever having sex.

Where would I like to be 5 years from now? What kind of person do I want to become? Most of
all, I would like to start feeling better about myself. I would like to be able to stop drinking altogether
and still feel good. I want to like myself much more than I do now. I hope I can learn to love at least a
few people, most of all, a woman. I want to lose my fear of women. I would like to equal with others and
not always have to feel apologetic for my existence. I want to let go of my anxiety and guilt. I want to
become a good counselor for kids. I’m not certain how I’ll change or even what all the changes are I
hope for. I do know what I want, to be free of my self-destructive tendencies and learn how to trust
people more. Perhaps when I begin to like myself more, I’ll be able to trust that others will find
something about me to like.