Year 9

Contemporary
Monologues

Monologue 1- Neutral character- To demonstrate acting range

Monologue 2- Neutral character- Comedic Monologue

Monologue 3- Neutral character- Intense Emotion Monologue

Monologue 4- Romeo- Romeo and Juliet

Monologue 5- Juliet- Romeo and Juliet

Monologue 6- Goldilocks- Homeless- Based on Goldilocks and the Three Bears- After the event

Monologue 7- Dorothy- There’s no place like Oz- After the event

Monologue 8- Crazy Cat Lady (Can change gender and names) - Comedy
Description of Monologue 1- to demonstrate acting range

This monologue takes you through a variety of emotions within a short period of time, allowing you
to showcase your ability to switch quickly from one emotion to another. The main character in this
monologue starts out angry but quickly moves into reminiscent before going back to anger and then
into intense sadness. Though anger is the prevailing emotion throughout the monologue, so many
other emotions are displayed, as is the ability to transition from one to another. Versatility is an
important ability for any actor, but for young actors, it's quite impressive.

Monologue 1- Neutral character

What did you just say? Am I angry? Of course I’m angry! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t go
tell everyone what you did. You can’t, can you? I didn’t think so.

What happened to us? Do you remember how we used to be? All the fun we had – all the time we
spent laughing. We were best friends. (chuckle) Don’t you remember how our parents used to say
we’d wind up going off to college together and someday take over the world? And we believed
them. I was so stupid.

I fell for all your lies. I can’t remember when they first started. Was it first grade when you told me
you had a pink dog at home? Or was it in middle school when you said you vacationed in France over
the summer? No…I think it was before any of that when we were really little. You took my hand and
you said (imitating small child), “You’re my bestest friend.”And I bought it. I thought we were best
friends for years. Why should I have thought any differently? Everything seemed fine. You never
gave me any reason to think differently. Until now. (starting to cry)

You betrayed me. You were never my best friend. (raising voice, getting more emotional) You took
my friendship and you threw it out the window and you never cared. Never! You’re the worst kind of
person because you put on a big, fake smile for everyone but in the inside you’re just rotten.
(intense whisper) Rotten.

I don’t need people like you in my life. I value myself too much. Good luck convincing the next
person who will fall for all your lies – and they will. I know they will. You’re really good at deceiving
people.

I feel sorry for you. You need help. But it won’t be me helping you. You’ve hurt me too deeply and I
can’t go back to wanting the best for you. Maybe someday you’ll realize people aren’t toys for your
amusement.
Description of Monologue 2- Comedic Monologue

This monologue requires a fast-paced cadence in order to deliver as comedy. In this monologue, a
smart-aleck barista learns a quick lesson about not making too many suggestions to inquiring
customers. Successfully presenting this monologue in a comedic way will demonstrate your ability to
pull off comedy as an actor.

Monologue 2- Neutral character

I worked at this coffee shop last summer. The money was OK, but if I turned on the charm I usually
walked out at the end of the day with a pocket full of tips.

Sometimes customers would ask me what’s good on the menu. (imitating customer, whining) “What
should I order? Help me, barista!”

Instead of getting annoyed by them I would just answer: (rapid, comedic cadence, counting on
fingers) “Latte, frappe, americano, espresso, cold brew, affogato, macchiato, cortado, ristretto.”

They usually did this: (feigning shock). And I would do this: (feigning smug). And a lot of them would
say, (imitating whiny customer) “What?”

So I would say: (rapid, comedic cadence, counting on fingers) “Latte, frappe, americano, espresso,
cold brew, affogato, macchiato, cortado, ristretto.”

Some customers would even clap for me after I did my thing. But they almost always put money in
the tip jar like I’d given them a show.

This guy came in one night right before we closed and we went through the whole bit with him not
knowing what to order and me doing my thing.

(Gesture to audience) You already know it. Don’t make me repeat it.

Do you want to know what this guy does? He looks at me and then says, “okay.” Just “okay.” And
then it dawns on me that he wants all nine drinks. At once. Five minutes before we’re supposed to
close. I didn’t even have to turn around because I already knew the other barista was throwing
daggers at me with her eyes. I couldn’t blame her. Do you know how long it takes to make cold
brew? It’s not a quick process.

That was the night I stopped being a smart-aleck and just started telling everyone to order a latte.
And I never uttered the phrase “cold brew” behind that counter ever again.
Description of Monologue 3- Intense Emotion Monologue

This monologue gives you the opportunity to demonstrate intense emotion - the kind of emotion
that transforms you from an actor to the actual character. The character in this monologue is
probably a little crazy - or at least not in full contact with reality. Actors must fully commit to the role
in order to deliver this monologue successfully.

Monologue 3- Neutral character

(On ground, hugging knees) They can’t tell me when I get to go home. They say I might still be “a
danger to myself or others.” The joke’s on them – I’ve always been a danger to myself.

Sometimes I just can’t feel. Everything’s numb. I close my eyes and I concentrate so hard, wishing I
could just feel something. Anything. But nothing ever comes -just the same emptiness I’ve always
known.

When you feel empty and numb, it’s hard to care what people think. So what if I sometimes cry in
public and can’t stop? Crying’s just laughter in a different form. If I spent more time laughing instead
of crying, people would say, “Oh dear, what a darling, cheerful girl.” They don’t like when I cry
because they don’t know how to anymore. It seems weird to them. Crying’s natural, though.

The only time I don’t feel numb is when I feel rage, but I cry when I feel rage just like when I feel
numb. So yes, I cry. What they should be more concerned about is this rage I feel. That’s where the
real problem is. That’s what makes me hurt the people around me.

Just ask them. They’re terrified of me. (pause) Sometimes I am too. I really wish someone would
figure out how to help me before I become (another pause, looks at audience intently) impossible to
contain.
Description of Monologue 4- Romeo and Juliet- Act 2, Scene 2- by William Shakespeare

Monologue 4- Romeo

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the East, and Juliet is the sun!
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou her maid art far more fair than she.
Be not her maid, since she is envious.
Her vestal livery is but sick and green,
And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off.
It is my lady; O, it is my love!
O that she knew she were!
She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold; ’tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!
Description of Monologue 5- Romeo and Juliet- Act 3, Scene 2- by William Shakespeare

Monologue 5- Juliet

Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband?

Ah, poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name,

When I, thy three hours’ wife, have mangled it?

But wherefore, villain, didst thou kill my cousin?

That villain cousin would have killed my husband.

Back, foolish tears, back to your native spring.

Your tributary drops belong to woe,

Which you, mistaking, offer up to joy.

My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain,

And Tybalt’s dead, that would have slain my husband.

All this is comfort. Wherefore weep I then?

Some word there was, worser than Tybalt’s death,

That murdered me. I would forget it fain,

But oh, it presses to my celebration,

Like damnèd guilty deeds to sinners’ minds.

“Tybalt is dead, and Romeo banishèd.”

Description of Monologue 6- Based on Goldilocks and the Three Bears- After the event

Monologue 6- Goldilocks- Homeless

Yeah, I know. I know. You recognize me. “Aren’t you that blonde girl who trashed the Bear’s house?”
Listen, I hear it all the time. That was a pretty low point for me, I gotta admit. But look, you really
shouldn’t make fun of the homeless. And technically, I’m not homeless. Never have been.

I think of myself as more of an adventurer. Sure, I could get a job and rent a dumpy little apartment,
but what would be the fun in that?

Since the bear’s house, I’ve stayed in some of the finest places in the world!

One time, I went on a tour of the White House, and hid behind the curtains in the Oval office. I
stayed up all night reading classified documents. They’re a lot more boring than they sound.

Another time, I crashed at Buckingham palace while the Queen was out doing some Queenly stuff. I
tried on all her crowns. She may or may not be missing one.

My favorite place was Santa’s workshop. Yeah, I know. Everyone thinks that those elves never take a
vacation. But a snowman told me that’s not true. I got him to tell me the dates…cost me a carrot and
I headed on up there. Seven days of playing with whatever I wanted and eating cookies and milk for
every meal…now that’s a vacation!

So, don’t be hating on homeless Goldilocks. I’m livin’ the good life. And remember, if you have
something cool inside your house, remember to lock up when you leave!
Description of Monologue 7- There’s no place like Oz- After the event

Monologue 7- Dorothy

Oh Toto, what were we thinking coming back here to Kansas?

Sure, the first few days back were great.  Auntie Em and Uncle Henry by my side, bringing me soup,
all hugs and kisses and warmth.  They were just so glad I was ok.

But now that I’m fine … everything’s gone back to the way it was.  Auntie Em just acts like I’m in the
way again.  She’s busy making sure Uncle Henry tends to the farm properly, and his farm hands don’t
sleep on the job.  Plus she’s taking care of everything in the house and I’m … I’m just that annoying
girl talking about scarecrows and tin men and Emerald cities.

Yesterday she told me to stop talking such nonsense or she’d call for the men in white coats.  I’m
sure she was just trying to scare me … right, Toto?  She would never … why that’d be more wicked
than the witch of the West, wouldn’t it?

No Auntie Em loves me, she would never do that.  What was that noise?  If she hears me talking to
you … she’d say you’re just a dog and you don’t understand me … but you do understand me don’t
you Toto?

It’s just you and I together in this world Toto and I know you feel like I do … you long for the Emerald
City don’t you?  You wonder how scarecrow is getting on with his diploma?  Has he gone on to
graduate studies?  Or the Tin Man with his heart.  Has he fallen in love?  The Lion with his badge of
courage. Has he fought any great battle?

If only we could write them?  But we can’t, can we?  No, the only way to see them again is to travel
far off, over the rainbow, way up high once again.  To the land that everyone says we dreamed of!
But it was more than a dream, wasn’t it Toto?  Bark twice for “Yes.”

Oh Toto!  You do understand me!  That’s why we have to get back to Oz. Where everything is in
color and even the flying monkeys have a song in their hearts. I tried to click my heals together
yesterday, but my slippers here are too drab … So … There’s a jewelry shop in town … and they have
Rubies!  So what we need to do is steal uncle Henry’s truck, he keeps a shotgun in the shed, we’ll
need that too …

Oh it’s not a crime, Toto if no-one gets hurt.  We need those rubies and I’ve got glue to attach them
to my slippers.  Before the police come, we’ll have glued them all onto my slippers and clicked our
heels together and we’ll be well on our way back to Oz.

It’s the perfect plan, right?  Bark twice for “Yes.”

Description of Monologue 8- A crazy cat person/lady believes her cat is trying to kill her- Comedy

Monologue 8- Crazy Cat Lady (Can change gender and names)

Karen, listen to me. I know this sounds crazy, but…. I think Max is trying to kill me. (pause) Yes, my
cat.

Can I stay here for a couple of days while I figure out what to do? It’s not funny! I’m not kidding!

Okay, you don’t believe me? The other night, he was waiting for me at the top of the stairs. He tried
to jump on me when I got to the top, but I got out of the way. Barely. He was trying to kill me, I
swear!

He’s always hiding in piles of things and jumping out at me! Look at all these scratches! (shows hand
and points to both ankles)

No, I don’t know why! I feed him every day, I give him treats and lots of attention, everything.

Maybe I let him watch too much TV… I woke up the other night, with the feeling of being watched.

Now, Max is always in the living room at night, but I saw two glowing green eyes at the bottom of
the bed near my feet. It was Max! He was watching me while I slept! Okay, that doesn’t sound that
bad, but my door is closed at night. He opened it! My door has a knob instead of a handle! HOW DID
HE DO THAT?!? HE’S A CAT!!

Wait, Max heard me talking on the phone before I left home. He knows I’m here. Is your door
locked?