Make The Familiar Unfamiliar & The

Unfamiliar Familiar
Welcome to Module 3!

In this module, you will understand how our brain works. Our brain is actually wired to keep
returning to what is familiar and to keep rejecting what is unfamiliar. This can be very
dangerous, because habits that are familiar to us, usually are not good for us.

After finishing this module, you will learn how to make lasting positive changes and make them
familiar to your mind.

Let's get started.

Module 3 Training Session

This is designed as a lecture for you to understand and apply the principles of this module.

The training section is comprised of two parts:

 Module 3 Workbook Part 1 [Training Insights]

 Module 3 Training Session [Video]
 Module 3 Training Session [Audio]

The Module 3 Training Session is presented in both video and audio recorded formats.

Please print out the workbook before viewing the training session. The workbook is designed to
follow along with the training session.

Module 3 Workbook Part 1 [Training Insights]

Please print out the workbook before listening to the session below. The workbook is designed
to follow along with the training session.

We suggest keeping all the workbooks from the program in a binder in order to track progress
and for easy access to information and exercises.

Module 3 Training Session [Video]

For most people, they're familiar with failure and boredom. And they're unfamiliar with
excellence and fulfilment. In this module, we're going to switch the roles.
You're going to be totally at ease with excellence and fulfilment while failure and boredom fade
away in the distant corners of your memory.

Training Session Transcript

Hey and welcome to session three. I hope by now you're starting to notice big and little changes
as you really take control of how to run your life, how to run your mind so you get phenomenal
success, how to have an uncompromised life. I'm going to talk to you today about the things
that therapists like me find the most frustrating when we are helping you to change. And the
thing we come up against over and over again is something fascinating, which is your brain is
actually wired to keep returning to what is familiar and to keep rejecting what is unfamiliar.
And a lot of scientists have spent a long time saying "Is it true, can people really reject success?
Why would somebody reject success? Why would somebody reject fame or reject wealth or
reject love?" And the answer is because our mind is hard wired to return always to what is
familiar and to reject what is unfamiliar. It's actually how we survive on the planet. If you lived
in a tribe you wouldn't really wander off on your own to another tribe because they might kill
you.

And you'll see with little babies how they like the same thing, the like the same food, the same
little cartoon every day, they like what is familiar. They don't like keeping to introduce you to
new food or newness because they're wired to be safe by liking the same, they never wander
too far from home on the hole, they don't like to be too far from mummy or daddy when
they're tiny, and they don't like too much new stuff. So we're actually wired to love what is
familiar, and that's why some people actually reject success, reject wealth, reject love. If it is
not familiar and you're not used to it, you will reject it.

Now I saw this when I was working on a lot of weight-loss shows. On the weight-loss show, we
would take people, we would give them everything: a trainer, exercise machines, their own
chef, me couching them. And while some of them did incredibly well, the others would go,
“Yeah, when I have had my last weigh in, I'm going to have Ben and Jerry's. I'm going to have a
pizza, I'm going to go out and have a big blow out,” and so I'd have to go," No! No! guys. You
can't do this, you can't really succeed at losing all that weight and go back to what is familiar,
which is junk food and fast food and cookies and ice cream." You might know that a lot of
people join the gym and they go for a couple of weeks and they never go back. Gyms actually
oversell membership because 25% of the members just don't go.

So we're wired to go for what is familiar. I see this a lot with women and men too, who go for
the same type over and over and over again. So I went on a show with one particular girl who
only went out with losers, and when she described her background, that it was very simple, her
father put her down, diminished her, never gave her anything, kind of ignored her, and of
course years passed and she was in a bar. If she met a guy that would kind of ignore her, put
her down, and not praise her, her brain went, “Oh, yeah, this feels familiar. I feel like I've known
this guy all my life. We just click,” without realizing what is familiar is not treating her very well.
So I did a lot of work with her in this one show. We gave her a make over and she looked
amazing and I showed her that she was going to find what was unfamiliar.

She came out and she went like, “Wow, that was amazing. I don't know what happened but I
was in the same bar and a completely different type of guy came up to me and he asked me
out. I went on a date with him. He then took me out for dinner, he paid for everything. he gave
me so many compliments, unlike Antoan, I don't think I can ever see him again.” “What do you
mean?” She went "He was too good to me." I'm like "No. No. Listen to what you're saying.
Nobody can be too good for you because you're a good person. What you're saying is his
behavior is so unfamiliar. I'm not used to it, I don't recognize it, I feel uncomfortable. I'm going
to go back to what I know. Losers that make me pay for dinner and don't call and I have to call
them and practically beg them for a second date. That's what you have to make unfamiliar.

So I taught her to not say too good for me but to say unfamiliar but I can make that familiar.
And this isn't just with relationships, but it happens a lot, the amount of people with the wrong
person, in the wrong relationships simply because the cold, dismissive, critical behavior is
familiar. And what they want: loving, caring, kindness is so unfamiliar when they get it they
don't recognize it and they walk away from it.

But I'm also seeing this with a lot of lottery winners. I've worked with somebody who won $50
million. At the time he was earning $300 a week in a factory. He won $50 million, in 2 years he
had not a cent to his name. Now he's back in the same factory earning $300 a week and he said,
“I prefer it." I didn't work with him when he won that money. If I had, I would've helped him. He
came to me afterwards, I was working on a television show with people who can't keep money.
And you see, if you've never had money, guess what is unfamiliar? Investing, saving. Guess
what is very familiar? Just spending your pay packet because there's no expectation, it would
just about last till the end of the week. So you pay your rent, you buy your groceries, you buy
essentials, so there's nothing left. When lottery winners who've never had money come into
money. guess what they do. they spend it all. They buy cars and more cars.

This one man had 7 cars in a field behind his house, he never even drove them. They buy
businesses which they don't really go to. They go on massive holidays and pay for 30 other
people to come with them, and they have no concept that money will run out but they also
have no concept they could ever save it because what is familiar is spending what I've got and
what is unfamiliar is investing.

I've also worked with three different rock stars. One who was making $6 million a year. They
only have success for five years but at the end of five years they had nothing, no investment, no
money, because what was familiar is spending. And so I want you to have a look at what is
familiar and unfamiliar. If there's anything in your life that is familiar that you don't want, you
simply have to make that unfamiliar. However, if there's something unfamiliar that you'd love
to be free of then you've got to make being free of it unfamiliar.
Let me give you a silly example. If you drink your tea with full fat milk and four sugars and you
take out the sugar and put in non-fat milk, it taste horrible. When I took out milk and put in
almond milk I don't like it at all. I really missed my creamy tea, but then after a few months, in
fact really weeks, if you go back and taste the tea that you drank with four sugars when you
haven't had it for six weeks, it tastes so bad that you can't even imagine you ever drank that
stuff.

I used to drink diet coke, I loved diet coke until I realized it was so bad for you, I made it
unfamiliar. Took a bit of work, I just had to not have it and not have it and now I didn't even
taste it but I tried it once and it was so disgusting. I couldn't imagine that that was my drink of
choice for 20 years at least. So I'm going to show you today how to look at your mind and how
to understand that you can make anything unfamiliar that you wish to be familiar familiar. And
you can make anything familiar that you want to be free of unfamiliar.

So let me tell you a story about me. When I grew up I never felt important in my family. It's not
a sob story, they all have their own issues, but I didn't feel I mattered, I was never the favorite, I
didn't feel significant, I didn't really feel much of anything. And I had won a wonderful time
[inaudible 00:08:54] with my grandmother, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. It was just
me and her, we were so connected, I loved her, she loved me. But I knew that was temporary, I
knew I couldn't stay, I knew I would have to go home. And even though I was very happy, I was
waiting for that to end.

And much later I did something interesting. I would go into relationships and I would wait for
them to end and if they didn't end soon enough I would end them because what was familiar to
me was being ignored, being rejected. And one time I did have this wonderful, unconditional
love, it came, it was on a timer. So when I started dating, my first two boyfriends were so lovely
and so nice, I rejected them because that wasn't familiar to me at all. They adored me, they
were nice to me, and I completely rejected them because that was so unfamiliar. And then I
went for what was familiar. People who put me second, never put me first. But eventually I
realized because I teach this stuff, this is crazy. You teach this stuff, you don't have to be with
someone that is making their job more important than you or their travel more important than
you or their hobbies more important than you.

So I made a decision. I'm going to make the unfamiliar, because I worked in television and I had
lots of crazy guys that would come and talk to me. That was my type. The crazy guys are not
good to have a long relationship with. I made a decision that I was going to make that
unfamiliar and I was going to make a nice, kind person my type. I didn't happen overnight. I put
a bit of work into there, I just refused to see people that I was familiar with, and I met someone
who was not my type, who was unfamiliar with, and I married him within 10 months, and we're
still blissfully happy. Every day I thank God I had the brains to make what was unfamiliar
familiar and what was familiar unfamiliar.

And I teach a lot of people to do the same thing. Twenty years ago having a black President of
America was so unfamiliar. Thirty years ago having a female Prime Minister of England was
unfamiliar. It doesn't matter if it's unfamiliar, there's a whole generation of kids in America who
go I could be the President because of Barack Obama, there's a whole generation of girls who
go look Beyonce is apparently the most fancied woman in the world and she's not white.

So we're constantly learning how to make the unfamiliar familiar and the familiar unfamiliar,
but you have to work at it. I'm going to hypnotize you today. We're going to look at your life,
we're going to see what it is that is so familiar that you want to get rid of it and what is so
unfamiliar that you want to embrace. So I want you to remember, your primitive brain wants
what is familiar. It does not want what is unfamiliar, that is a fact. Here's another fact: you can
make anything familiar. If you never run and you get up to run and you run for two miles every
day, after three months that will be so familiar that doing the opposite of what is so unfamiliar.
Your primitive brain loves what is familiar, so all you have to do is make good stuff familiar and
bad stuff unfamiliar. It's a process, it's all you have to do.

So we can look at children who are born into wealth. Children who're born into wealth find that
so familiar that they usually continue to acquire wealth. Children who are born into poverty and
born into a welfare state, we now have four and five generations of that simply because it is
familiar. One of my friends was telling me that he went to a private school in the UK and when
they were learning to count, the teacher would say " Now if you have six companies and you
sell one, how many have you got left?" Of course in a state school they would say, " If you have
five apples and you give one away, how many have you got left?" And I love that story because
even at five, some children are wired to make it, to have success, and some children sadly
aren't. But it doesn't matter how late you come into this, you are going to wire yourself to make
wealth, success, love, having a fit body, and really liking yourself familiar, and we're going to
start right now.

Do you know that 98% of diets, 98% fail because we go on a diet until we've lost a bit of weight
and that's unfamiliar, and then we go back to the familiar eating that made us fat. So we eat
the stuff that made us fat because it's familiar, we go on a diet that is unfamiliar and then we
go back. Some people make dieting, binging, dieting, breaking the diet so familiar that it
becomes a pattern. We're going to change those patterns. So I want you to think of what you
would love to be familiar with. Believing in yourself, that's a great thing to be familiar with. Self-
belief, liking yourself, believing that you matter, that you're worth something. Putting in the
hours, getting promoted, working for a company that values you. Or having your own business
and making it a success, they're good things to make familiar.

Having someone who loves you and respects you and you love and respect right back. Being
great parents, looking after your health, these are all good things to make familiar. And here's a
great thing to make familiar, praise. Praising yourself. I'm going to tell you why in a minute. But
I want you to imagine you've got a list of all the things that you would like to make familiar, and
now I want you to think of the opposite. What would you like to make unfamiliar? Putting
yourself down, belittling yourself, putting yourself last, not putting in the hours, living an
unfulfilled life, living a life that is very compromised, wouldn't you want to make that
unfamiliar? Being critical of yourself, not feeling that you matter.
So I want to talk to you about praise. We're going to cover this in much more detail later. I'm
going to tell you a story. So a very famous writer came to see me, and I loved his books. When
he sat down I said to him "I love that film you wrote." He went "That was terrible. The casting
agent cast completely the wrong person, she was so wrong for the lead role." I went, "Oh, I
loved it, and you know your other film, that was my dad's favorite." He went “I'm so
embarrassed about how it turned out, it wasn't how I wanted it to be at all. The director got it
all wrong."

Anyway I began to talk about his life and he was suffering the most terrible depression. He was
just desperately, desperately depressed. He told me his a story and his story was that when he
was young he was in love with the girl next door. And his parents decided to move a long way
away and he didn't want to move. So the girl next door's parents told him that, “You could
move in because you're in love and don't move because she'll be broken-hearted and so will
you,” they were both 17. So when he told his parents, they said "If you move in next door, we
will never ever speak to you again." He did move in next door and his parents moved and they
didn't even tell him where they'd gone, he had no address, he couldn't find them. But he
married the girl next door and they had children, three children, and they were very happy. And
then very sadly for him, his in-laws and his wife died in an accident and he was suddenly left
alone with three children, no family at all.

He's quite famous by now. So he managed to trace his birth parents and said, "I really need you,
I've got no family, I've got these three young children." They went, “Well you've done very, well
and we'll come back into your life. Could you buy us a house?" He was like, "Sure.” Bought
them a massive house. He said, "Would you like to come to my filming?" They said "No. That's
not work. We don't even like your films." They were so negative. So he invited them to a
premiere, they wouldn't come. He said, “Do you want to come on to a set?" "No, that's not
work. " And he worked so hard to get his father to praise him. He bought him all stuff, he
bought him a car, everything. And the father would not praise him, and then the father died
and that was the beginning of this terrible, terrible depression. He was on his knees with it.
When I started to work with him I said "Look, you want your dad to praise you, he's never going
to do that. The fact that he's dead is irrelevant because he wouldn't do it if he was alive. But
you need to know that you're a good son." So I put my hand on him and I said, "You're a good
son, you've always been a good son." And he started sobbing so much that his shoulders were
hiving, masses of tears coming out his eyes. I said, "Listen, let this in. I want you to say I'm a
good son."

I had to force those words out of him. He went, “I'm okay.” I went, “No, that's what I said. I'm a
good son. You've got to say it and say it and say it until it's familiar.” So eventually I persuaded
him to say I'm a good son, I'm a good son, I'm a good son. I said, “Now you've got used to that
and that's familiar. Here's your next homework. I'm going to praise your films and I want you to
go, 'Thank you.'” So I said, “I love that film." He said "Thank you," I said," That was my dad's
favorite." He went, "Thank you." I said, “Now I want you to go 'I love that film and I wrote that
and I'm really proud.'” And he went, “That's hard.” I'm like, “It's not hard, unfamiliar, there's a
big difference. Don't say it's hard, say it's unfamiliar.” So he went "Okay." So we had quite a
great day of him going, I said "I love you." He said "Thank you so much, I loved writing it." I said
"I love that book." He said, "Thank you so much. Actually I got a lot pleasure writing that.” Then
at the end I said, “Can I hug you?" He said "That's very difficult for me." I'm like "No. It's not
difficult. It's unfamiliar. And if I hug you a lot it would become familiar." And amazingly, he
decided that he rather liked it.

And only a few weeks ago I was teaching a course, and I had one girl up on stage with me who
also suffered with tremendous depression. I said, “You know everyone in the room loves you
apart from you and I'm going to ask everyone to come up and hug you.” She went "That's very
hard for me." I said "No. It isn't. It's very unfamiliar for you but after 40 people in the queue I
think you might find this familiar,” so she allowed each person to hug and then at the end she
said, “The camera man hasn't hugged me and the sound man hasn't hugged me." They had to
run over and hug her too. She said, “I like this." I said, “You see how quickly you can move from
unfamiliar to familiar?” So when people say that's difficult for me, that's hard for me, it's not,
it's just unfamiliar.

Here's the truth: if you do anything enough, it becomes familiar. I turned right out of plane for
30 years, [inaudible 00:21:10] normal thing in the world. Now I turn left, I never really want to
make turning right unfamiliar again. Sometimes I do. I was brought up in a house with no
heating. That was completely normal to me, you had a fire downstairs and no heating upstairs.
Now heating is so familiar, and on suite bathroom. They sound like silly things but you know
once upon a time having a credit card wasn't familiar, having a mobile phone, even having my
own car wasn't familiar. You can make anything familiar if you want to.

So my lovely, writer who was desperately depressed, within two weeks was perfectly normal,
and now he's remarried, he's very, very happy. He said, “I still wake up every day and look into
the mirror and go you're a good son, you're a good person because I remember.” Whenever
people praise me now, I go I love you, I go thank you, it was a great film isn't it? Because not
only is he accepting the praise, he's adding in praise, and it's wonderful to see the difference. So
you can do exactly the same. Just close your eyes for a minute before we begin the hypnosis.
And just think about what is unfamiliar in your life that you would like to be familiar. Is it love?
Is it praise? Is it recognition? Go down and make a list mentally. We could do this properly later
for your homework. Then I want you to think of what is really familiar that you'd actually like to
be free of, is it criticizing yourself? Being down on yourself? Because we're going to stop all of
that today, right now.

I work with a lot of Olympic athletes, I work with football teams and cricket teams and rugby
teams, Olympic bobsleigh teams, rifle teams, and I understand that athletes do something.
They've got to believe in themselves and they have to make extraordinary self-belief familiar.
They can't believe it's okay to come third or fourth. They have to believe that winning is
everything. They must tell themselves that they're great. Did you know, Muhammad Ali said
something I love, he said, “I told myself I was the greatest before I even was the greatest and
then I became the greatest." What a concept that is, he told himself he was the greatest before
he even knew he was and certainly before anyone else knew he was. And every day he said "I'm
the greatest." And guess what happened? He became the greatest. He believed it, his
opponents believed it, because athletes, politicians, people of the top, they can't say "I'm okay.
I'm not bad me. I'm quite good.” They must go, “I'm the best. I'm the greatest.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger said, “Modesty is not a word that applies to me in anyway at all. And I
hope it never does." And we don't go “Wow, that's really arrogant.” We go wow, “I wish I could
have some of that.” Well you can have some of that, you can have all of that if you understand
that people at the top have to make self-belief familiar. They have to make self-praise familiar,
they have to tell themselves, “I'm the best, I'm the greatest, I'm good at my job, I'm outstanding
in this area, no one can beat me,” even if they don't really believe it because if you say it
enough, you start to believe it. So think about that, “I'm great at my job. I've got these really
special talents, I'm really good at what I do. I'm the best in my field. I'm the best in my area.” In
fact I was talking on stage only about six weeks ago about believing in yourself. And someone
had put up their hand and said, “Is there a book that you could buy that's really good?” I said
"Yes. Mine. It's the best in this field." He said, "That was really funny. I didn't really like that
book, maybe you're a bit arrogant. Halfway through I though actually, no. Why shouldn't I say
I'm the best in my area?" And now, at the end of that talk, I feel better and I'm going to say I'm
the best.

I said, “Of course, it's not arrogant saying I'm the best. I don't think I'm the best in everything,
there are certain things that I'm really not good at, at all. But I'm good at one thing and I don't
want to be Jack of all trades and master of none.” Naturally to do something interesting, they
tell you what they're good at. I was flying back from LA once and hit the most terrible
turbulence and the pilot came on and he said, “Please don't worry, I know I've given you a bit of
a trip to Disneyland here but I am the best, most experienced pilot. I do this route every week,
and you'll be out of this turbulence in 10 minutes, you're in the best hands.” No one went,
“Wow.” Everyone went, “Thank God for that. We're with the best, I feel good now, I can go
back to reading my book.”

When a family member of mine was very ill, we went to see the oncologist, the oncologist
looked at his nose, said, "Oh. Yeah. Well you have that illness. You've got cancer. So I'm going
to do this and try that and we'll see what we can do. But I'm going to try to help you. If that
doesn't work we'll do that." I said, “That's not good enough, I happen to be in the list of the
best experts in England in therapy.” I mean this book is really for doctors, and I'm not a doctor,
but I'm in it. But I'm very connected, so I went home and I rang up. I said "Who is the best
doctor for this cancer?" They all told me the same person. I got a quick appointment with him
because I'm in the same book with him, we're like colleagues, took my relative to see him. He
said, “Okay. You have this cancer. I'm going to do that, I'm going to do that, and you're going to
be cured because I happen to be the best oncologist in this field and I will save your life,” and
he did. No one went, “How arrogant, I'll think I'll go to the other one and I'll try and I'll see,”
because people at the top of their game tell you what they're good at. I'm the best at this. They
don't go I'm the best at everything. They don't need to, they just say I'm the best surgeon, the
best English teacher, the best cook.
If you go to a hut, into a restaurant, you believe you're going to the best chef in town.
Otherwise, what's the point of going? So you can make that familiar, it is not that arrogance to
say I have a particular skill in a particular field and I'm really good at what I do. Because after all,
what's the opposite of that? I'm average, I'm limited, I'm not bad, I'm okay, I'm quite good.
That's not enough. So think about when you say I'm the best, I'm really skilled, I'm outstanding
in my field, I'm excellent. Then think about the opposite. I'm average me, I'm quite good,
sometimes I'm okay.

I even notice that when you say to someone thank you and they go "It's nothing." When I go to
a restaurant the waiter serves you and you go "Thank you so much." They go "It's nothing," I go
“No. It wasn't nothing, you just gave great service, believe you me, if I was being in your shoes, I
was waiting on people. I'd expect them to go "Thank you." And I wouldn't go here with “It's
nothing, don't mention it." People should mention it when you're good and you should say
"Thank you, I love doing what I do too." So you're learning to accept praise by saying "Thank
you." Don't ever say it was nothing, don't mention it, because that's putting yourself down.

So I want to tell you something that you might not know. It's very linked to putting yourself
down as opposed to praising yourself. Praise boosts self-esteem, there's nothing, nothing,
nothing that will boost your self-esteem like that than praise. Guess what goes with this self
esteem, criticism, being put down particularly your own. When someone else is mean, we can
sort of understand that they've had a bad day but if criticizing yourself is familiar, you've got to
stop that now. Here's why you've got to stop: because studies have now proven that the one of
the major factors in depression is harsh, hurtful, critical words that you say to yourself over and
over and over again. I'm going to repeat that because it's really important. A major contributor,
a major factor in depression is people who use harsh, hurtful, critical words to describe
themselves. If you do that, you need to make that unfamiliar starting right now. Just do the
opposite, that's the great thing about familiar/unfamiliar, you flip it over. What's familiar?
Putting myself down. What's the opposite of that? Praising myself. What's familiar? Coming
home and eating taco chips out of the cupboard because I can't be bothered to cook. Well
what's the opposite of that? Coming home and picking up some salad or some chicken or some
fish on the way home. Or having nuts in the cupboard so that at least they're healthy.

So look at what's familiar that you want to make unfamiliar and find the opposite, and look for
what is unfamiliar that you would like to make it familiar; praising in yourself, believing in
yourself, and just do the opposite. Remember, it's your choice to make something good so
familiar, familiar enough that it becomes a part of your life. Here's something you can do that's
a wonderful thing. Find pleasure in the most simple things. Every day when you get up I want
you to say this coffee is sensational,” “this tea is wonderful.” I want you when you have a
shower to go, “I love the smell of this conditioner, I love this smell of this shower. I love this
shower.”

You see when you start to look for pleasure in really simple things: getting in to clean sheets,
having a wonderful shower, drinking the first cup of coffee, the first cup of tea, putting on your
favorite program and lying in your favorite chair, holding your children or your partners' hand
when you keep telling yourself that that gives you pleasure what happens is your mind
becomes familiar with looking for pleasure in really simple things. And when you're mind gets
used to finding pleasure in the most simple things, the pleasure you find in big things is just
incredible because you can learn to make finding pleasure so familiar that the most ordinary
things: finding a parking space on a busy street fills you up with so much joy that when you get
to really big things, it's amazing. It's a good thing to make familiar, being present, train your
brain to get pleasure from tiny little things, someone smiling at you. Every meal you have, it's
not Pollyanna, it's wiring your brain to notice pleasure, and the more you wire your brain to
notice pleasure in little things, the more your brain becomes wired to notice pleasure in
something every day and you get more and more pleasure.

So let's do some hypnosis because hypnosis is going to wire this into you and of course you're
seeing as we get to session three that becoming hypnotized, letting in my words is becoming
more and more familiar, especially if you're playing your downloads at home, and you're
coming online and doing the Q&As; and you're doing the homework. What you're starting to
notice is changing in the most powerful ways, becoming familiar, and doing that same old,
same old procrastinating is becoming unfamiliar. That's good. Let's make it even better.

So when you're ready, just look up as high as you possibly can, as if you're looking into your
own eyebrows. Again, I hope you've remembered to have your phone off or some way you
can't be distracted, have your feet and hands separated and lie or sit in this position.
Remember what you're doing, you look up like that, keep the eyeballs up, close your eyelids
down. Once you've closed your eyes, it doesn't matter where the eyeballs go. Right now, let's
just rehearse this. Look up, keep your eyeballs up, close the lids down, you'll feel that remit. In
fact, if you touch your eyelids, you can even feel that fluttering, that's a great sign. It means
you're going into a different brainwave where you're very, very receptive to suggestions. So just
make yourself comfortable. Just look up as high as you can, as if you're trying to look into your
own eyebrows, keeping your eyes glued to a real or imagined spot overhead, just breathe in
and breathe out. Take another deep breathe, breathe in, breathe out, and just one final time
breathe in, keep your eyeball right up, keeping your eyeball up. As you exhale just close your
eyelids right down, all the way down, as your eyelids shut down. The muscles and nerves in and
around your eyes are becoming heavy, droopy, drowsy. Your eyelids are starting to feel as if
they've been glued shut, sealed shut, locked tight. You can just forget all about your eyes, you
can just allow a drifting, floating feeling to develop in your body. Just picture in your own mind
10 steps descending. Just drop your chin like that so you get that looking down sensation.

You're looking down 10 steps, you're moving on to step 10 as each muscle, every nerve turns
loose, let's loose, and you go deeper. You're taking step nine and you can see your feet, hear
your feet, feel your feet treading each step as you move down, drift down, travel down to an
even deeper level. You're taking step eight, going deeper with every sound you hear. You're
taking step seven going deeper into an awareness of yourself. You're taking step six as each
muscle, every nerve turns loose, lets loose, and you go deeper. You're taking step five, you're
halfway down, going deeper and deeper into an awareness of yourself. You're taking step four
as each muscle, every nerve turns loose, lets loose, and you go deeper. You're taking step three
as you gently, calmly, easily move on over to an even deeper level. You're taking step two as
you go deeper and deeper, even the sound of your own heartbeat is taking you deeper. Further
into the most healing wonderful level of hypnosis. You're taking step one, just sleep deeply, just
go deeper, drift deeper, sink deeper, every time I click my fingers and say the words go deeper.
Drift deeper, sink deeper, you're going deeper and deeper and deeper.

As you go deeper, you're listening and responding easily, effortlessly, perfectly, exactly the way
you are. You don't need to make anything happen at all. You can just let yourself go deeper. I'm
going to show you again how incredibly suggestible you are. So I want you to raise your arms
out in front of you at shoulder height, as if you're holding the handle bars of a bike. I want you
to put your two arms straight out at shoulder height. I want you to close your fist just as if
you're holding the reigns of a horse or the handle bars of your own bicycle. Your arms are out in
front of you raised up at shoulder height and they're closed. I want you to imagine right now in
your left arm you're holding a huge red bucket that's filled with about 80 pounds of heavy wet
sand. Even as I speak, you can feel the weight of that bucket in your knuckles, in your wrist, in
your elbow right up into your shoulder, your left arm is just becoming heavier and heavier and
heavier by the second.

And as your left arm becomes heavier and heavier, I want you to imagine in your right arm
you're holding a huge helium-filled balloon, a big silver balloon that is bigger than you, that is
lighter than air, that is so completely weightless. It's as is if you're right arm is attached to a
pulley. Your right arm is floating, moving, pulling, and traveling upwards. Your right arm is
becoming lighter and lighter. Your right arm is floating up, lifting up, moving up, traveling up,
and all the time you're floating, lifting, moving, traveling deeper into hypnosis. Your right arm is
weightless. As it floats up, you float deeper into hypnosis. As it moves up, you're moving deeper
into hypnosis. As it travels up, you're traveling deeper into hypnosis. And as your right arm
becomes lighter and lighter, your left arm is becoming heavier, your left arm is so heavy it is
sinking. As your left arm drops down, sinks down, travels down, or moves down, you're
dropping, sinking, traveling, moving down into hypnosis.

Now you're noticing one arm is weighed down and the other is weightless. One arm is traveled
up, the other is traveled down because your ability to accept a suggestion. Now I want you to
notice that the harder you try to lift up your left arm, the more it feels as if it's been encased in
lead, it's so heavy. The harder you try to lift it, the more weighed down it is, but the harder you
try to push your right arm down, the more it feels as if you are trying to push a balloon under
water. The harder you try to lower you're right arm, the more it pops up, springs up, and stays
up, as if you're trying to push a beach ball under water, it just won't go. So one arm is weighed
down, one arm is weightless because you are incredibly suggestible. And you're going to learn
every day to give yourself better, empowering suggestions. As I count to three, you will let go of
the bucket. Let go of the balloon and go 50 times deeper into hypnosis, on the count of 1, 2, 3.
Just go deeper, just go deeper and deeper. Let go of the bucket and the balloon and just as your
arms drop down, drop deeper.
So as you go deeper into a wonderful stage of hypnosis, I'm going to count backwards, and
you're going to go right back to an early scene where you're simply in your home looking at all
the things that are familiar, that you'd really rather were not familiar, and looking at the things
that are unfamiliar which you wish were familiar. So on the count of five, you're being pulled
back, drown back, taken back to an early childhood memory. On the count of four, you're
becoming younger, smaller, lighter, shorter. On the count of three, years, months, weeks, days
are pealing away from your body. On the count of two, you're drifting back, traveling back,
moving back, going way back. On the count of one you're back in your childhood home. The
home that you lived in between the age of 2 and 10. Maybe a bit older or younger, it doesn't
really matter. You're going back to a home, and your mind has already picked the right home,
and there you are in that home.

You can look around the home, you can look at the kind of house the home you live in, may be
an apartment, but you're looking around the dwelling you are living in. You're looking at the
people you're living with and you're looking at what is very familiar to you in this home. I want
you to really look at what's familiar. Is it running out of money? Is it never having quite enough
money to pay the bills? Or is it parents who have money but simply won't spend it. Particularly
they won't spend it on you? Are you told that you're loved every day? Are you hugged? Are you
praised? Is that familiar or is it not familiar?

As I ask you every question, you know the answer. Does anyone believe in you? Do you get told
that you're smart? I want you to in own your mind as I count to three leave that home and go
straight into the school room. On the count of one, two, three, you're moving away from that
home, suddenly you're in the classroom. You recognize that classroom. You know all about that
classroom, I want you to tune in to what was familiar to you in school. Was it familiar to get
praised? Did the teachers like you? Did they encourage you? Did you get high marks? Or was it
familiar to be ignored at the back? To only ever be average, to feel that you couldn't do what
other people did? Or was so much expected of you at home even if you got 99%, you were
expected to get 100? Or you were always told your brother, sister, cousins, neighbor's kids was
smarter than you, better than you?

Here's something else that's really important. Did you have friends that really liked you? Was
that familiar? Were you a loner that didn't really have friends? Or were you someone in the
middle that had to work really hard for friends? Did you have to earn those friends being funny
or doing stuff for them? These things are very, very important because people who were loners
in their childhood often find that is so familiar. They recreate to remember that primitive brain
being comfortable what it knows, and people have had to earn friends by being the clown or
giving them their pocket money or giving away their toys or doing their homework for them,
they too find that their primitive brain makes familiar working for stuff that you should get just
because you're you. So stay in that school room, get older in that school room.

I want you to go right through to the age where you were interested in the opposite sex, where
dating was something that was interesting you. Did you get asked out? Did people ask you out?
Did girls like you or did they diminish you? Did boys ask you out or did they reject you? Did you
feel you're the only one that didn't have a date? Did you feel that everyone else had the great
boyfriend and girlfriend but not you? Or did you have a boyfriend or girlfriend that rejected
you, dumped you, broke your heart and made you think I never want to go through that again?
I want you to think again about being at home. Did you get praised for what you did? For who
you are? Or did you get the opposite? Did you get criticism? Did people put you down, diminish
you?

You see, sometimes even when you get second hand clothes, you then acquire a belief that you
really shouldn't spend money on yourself. Even people who become millionaires, if times are
being tough they can't spend money because it's so unfamiliar.

So I want you to think about all the things in your childhood, I want you to imagine you're
looking around your school room, looking around your home, even looking around your
bedroom. Did you have nice stuff? Did you get given nice things? Did you have to share
everything? Did you get given all second hand stuff? And I want you to just spend more time on
this. What did you have in terms of praise, love, acknowledgement at home, at school? Then I
want you to look at your life. I want you to surprise yourself maybe, maybe not with how much
you have kept that going. No one praised you and now you reject praise. No one gave you
lovely stuff and so you don't spend money on yourself. Whatever you did, it wasn't good
enough, and that's how you feel now, whatever you do, it's never enough. You weren't the
most attractive kid in school and even though now you look so different, you still feel inside like
that hideous kid. If you were the first kid with glasses, if you were fat, if you had freckles, if you
felt different, I want you to look at how much you still feel different, and you know what?
Feeling different, you know what that means? It means you're the same as everyone in the
world. Our greatest fear is to be different. The fact that you felt different as a kid means you're
the same as every kid. If you feel different now, still means that you're same because our
greatest fear is to be different.

So just one more time, I want you to notice how much of what you wanted was not available to
you. Or maybe it was not available enough, maybe like me, you had a granny that loved you but
you didn't see her enough. So look at what was not available you would have loved to be
available and now look at your life today and notice how much it's still not available: love,
praise, recognition, success. I want you to look at all the things that weren't available that you
really wanted and how much you have still made them not available. I want you to look at the
other side of that. What was available but you didn't want, having to work so hard just to be
noticed. Having to compete with your siblings to get a bit of love and attention. Look at the
stuff that was available you didn't want. Look at all of that and realize that you can make
anything available to you.

So I want you to take a bit longer, everything that wasn't available. I worked with a millionaire
who never had heating on in his house because they were so poor, and guess what he did when
he was a millionaire? He wouldn't put the heating on because it wasn't available when he was a
child and he was still living in that poverty mindset. I can't afford the heating, it's too expensive.
I can't buy that, it's too expensive. Even when he had so much money he said, “I've got to
save.” I said, “What are you saving for?” He said, "I don't know, I don't even know what I'm
saving for but I'm saving for not having the heating on." The opposite of that was someone who
has always had money and he's happy to spend it. So take that little kid, you're getting so good
at this now, you can do this really well . Take that little child, pick them up, take them back to
your home with heating, with cable TV, with a fridge full of nice food that you get to choose
when to eat. You get to choose what to eat, when to eat, when to go to bed, when to stay up,
even what to watch on TV. When you were a kid that wasn't available. Your parents decided
how much TV you watched, what you ate, what you wore, and when you went to bed, and now
they don't.

Take that little child into your home, and I want you to show them that everything is available
to them: love, praise, whatever they want to be familiar you can make it familiar starting right
now. It really is as simple as taking the sugar out of your tea, working with it and then saying,
“Wow, I could never go back. I drank it like that for years now I can't go back.” So think about
what you want to make familiar, what you want to make unfamiliar. Remember the girl in my
class who said being hugged is difficult for me and after 40 hugs she asked for more because
she moved from making it unfamiliar to familiar.

So I want you to start by thinking about the kind of beautiful relationship you would like to have
with someone that loves you. And if you're in a relationship now, how do you like it to be even
better? You want someone to love you and respect you and you want to love and respect them.
How can you make that familiar? Well here's a start: stop going out with people that put you
down, stop dating people that don't respect you, stop dating people that remind you of
something negative in your past. Date a better class of person, you'll have a better relationship,
you just have make that familiar. It's a bit like being naked, if you walk around being naked for
long enough, it feels familiar. I'm not going to recommend you to do that, but if you go on to a
naked beach in Spain and you stay there for long enough, afterwards it just feels normal. I don't
even have to take your clothes off. I used to walk through a naked beach to get to one
particular place so I had to go to and after a while it was just the most normal thing in the
world, because anything is familiar if you do it enough.

So think about the beautiful relationship you want. How are you going to make that familiar
and how are you going to make dating the wrong people unfamiliar? Because you have a
choice. Now think about the kind of career you want. Do you want to be the boss? Do you want
to be promoted? Do you want your own company? How can you make that familiar? What can
you do? What steps can you take right now to make that familiar? Well believing in yourself
and putting a higher value on yourself or make the people you work for value you more,
because when you massively increase your own sense of self-worth, self-value, self-image, and
self-belief, guess what? Everyone around you increases their sense of your worth and value and
image. It's not arrogance.

Here's another thing, and this is the easy thing, the really easy thing. How familiar was praise?
How familiar was criticism? I want you to make praise really familiar by starting right now to
praise yourself, and I want you to make criticism unfamiliar by just stopping. Don't criticize
yourself. Just stop. Be nice to yourself. If you're about to beat yourself up for doing something
wrong, just say "I'm human, it's okay."

When people praise you, here's how to make it familiar: you say "Thank you." And after a while
you say, "Thank you. Yeah, I love this outfit, I love that speech I did, I love the graphics I put
together for that website. They're really good, aren't they?” It's not arrogance, it's self-belief.
So think of anything else that is unfamiliar that you would like to make familiar. Anything that is
negative that is familiar that you want to make unfamiliar. Even having a healthy body, going to
the gym, eating better foods. As you go deeper into absolutely relaxed stages, you go deeper,
drift deeper and sink deeper into awareness of yourself. You're aware of the most wonderful
transformation taking place in you right now. For you, understanding is power. Understanding
in hypnosis really is the most phenomenal power. And you can look over and around and
through so many, many scenes in your childhood and you can understand how negative stuff
became familiar. The stuff you wanted was not familiar enough, but you also understand you're
a grown up. It is not appropriate, it isn't relevant, it isn't necessary, it isn't even interesting for
you to ever, ever again think those thoughts or believe those beliefs.

You have the most phenomenal power to change and you're using that power making what is
unfamiliar familiar and what is negative and familiar completely unfamiliar. It's shrinking, it's
fading, it is out of your life, it is in the past, it is so far, far, far behind you. All you have to do is
think these thoughts, hear these words, accept these suggestions. Let them in. And you're
doing all of that right now, and you're feeling amazing. This image of you making positive stuff
familiar, this image is so clear, so real, so life-like. It is you. It's you more so with every single
moment that passes, you are aware of a phenomenal, amazing, powerful permanent, all-
pervasive change taking place in you every day. You make praise familiar. You make self-belief
familiar. You make loving yourself, respecting yourself, believing in yourself familiar. You make
the opposite of that unfamiliar. This is what you do, but I promise you, this is becoming who
you are. This is becoming embedded in you, my voice is going with you, staying with you, having
a powerful, permanent, healing transformational impact on you. So just go deeper, you're
aware of a transformation taking place in you and you like yourself, you really like yourself, you
like other people, they like you. They like you because you like them but they like you because
you like you.

You're aware of all the qualities you possess. You're aware that life has a good reason to
express itself through you, you're aware that you have particular skills and talents that the
universe gave to you and it's supporting you every single day in using those talents. You're
aware that you have skills and talents that are unique to you, you have skills and talents but
you also have extraordinary self-belief and you also have drive and ambition. As you combine
these things, your own skills and talents, your wonderful self-belief, your drive, your
determination, your work ethic, it all makes you unstoppable. You handle every situation life
has to offer. You live an extraordinary life. You live an uncompromised life because you don't
need to compromise. You make compromising unfamiliar. You make living your
uncompromised life familiar. You're living a great life, you're sharing your success. You're
helping other people believe in themselves the way you believe in you. Praise is familiar. Self-
believe is familiar. Letting someone love you and loving them back in a respectful way is
familiar. Respecting yourself. Looking after your health is familiar, making money, investing it,
keeping it, making more. Using it wisely. All of this is becoming more and more familiar because
you make it so, and the rest is unfamiliar.

As we end this session you remember your primitive brain is wired to keep taking you back to
what is familiar. You don't have a choice in there, but you do have a choice in making what it
takes you back to good. Your brain's job is to take you back to what is familiar. Your job is to
make sure you make good stuff, great stuff, positive stuff familiar, and negative stuff unfamiliar.
And then you and your brain are on the same page, working for the same goal: your happiness,
your success, your greatness. Well done.

When you're ready, just slowly, calmly, easily, effortlessly, on the count of one, two, three,
four, and five, just open up your eyes, fill up your lungs, take a long, deep breath. And part of
your homework is listening to the audio recording of this that I'm sending to you, and you're
going to play this every day until I see you again. I salute you for doing these great things and
for making your life extraordinary. Thanks for being here with me today.

Module 3 Practice
The practice section is comprised of two parts:

 Module 3 Workbook Part 2 [Module Three Exercise and Homework]

 Module 3 Hypnotic Exercise [Audio]

Module 3 Hypnotic Exercise [Audio]

In this hypnotic exercise, you will learn how to condition your brain. The primitive brain always
goes back to what is familiar. You will learn how to make positive situations familiar, so your
brain will help you succeed faster and maintain you at this peak state.

If you need a reminder on how to perform this exercise, you can see the practice guide here.

Module 3 Group Coaching

This is designed as a Q&A that tackles practical problems that you might face during this
module's process, offers more in-depth explanations and alternative solutions to everyday
situations.

The group coaching section is comprised of two parts:

 Module 3 Group Coaching Session [Video]

 Module 3 Group Coaching Session [Audio]
The Module 3 Group Coaching Session is presented in both video and audio recorded formats.

Module 3 Group Coaching Session [Video]

During this session, Marisa will give an overview of this module, show a mind exercise you can
do at home, and answer many questions, including:

 In your work with weight loss and fitness, what were the familiar and unfamiliar mindsets?
 It's difficult for me to focus on just one thing and clarify my mind exactly what it is. Would it be
better if I wrote it down on a paper first?
 How to remove shame as a familiar state of mind?
 What is the most effective way to stop a chronic pattern of success and failure, all or nothing,
when it comes to taking action on business and health issues?

Group Coaching Session Transcript

Hi, this is Marisa Peer, and thank you so much for joining me for another live Q&A. So, I was
talking to you about something that therapists like me find the most challenging of all, and that
is the mind's need to constantly return to what is familiar and to reject what is unfamiliar.

And many, many therapists find that very, very complicated. And of course, most clients simply
don't understand, "Why am I rejecting money? Why am I rejecting love? I think that's a weird
thing to reject. I'm going to therapy and I'm having all this work to make myself attract love and
then I'm rejecting it." Or, "I keep building up these businesses and then I just seem to walk
away," or, "I never keep money," and some will even reject being healthy.

And I certainly saw that because I worked on many, many shows in my time all to do with
weight loss. And a lot of the producers were completely baffled by the fact that we could get
someone to lose a lot of weight and look extraordinary, and a year later they come back and
they've put all the weight back on and more.

And I was puzzled by this, and I spend a lot of my adult live researching why that is, and I was
very relieved when I saw other scientists researching it too. And they all they came up with the
same conclusion, the mind is actually hard wired to reject what is not familiar. Which is not
quite as odd as it sounds because of course if you understand that our brains haven't really
changed that much, some of the people say, "They've only changed one percent since we lived
in tribes, and caves, and small communities."

And of course then, your survival on the planet was very geared to rejecting what was
unfamiliar, you didn't wander off to a new tribe, you didn't do anything that was really
unfamiliar. You didn't even really eat unfamiliar foods unless you tasted them and being very
careful because it could make you ill, it could make you sick.
So, we are wired to reject what is unfamiliar, you see that with small babies who like the same
thing. When my daughter was very little, she only wanted one type of breakfast cereal every
day, never wanted a different one.

She liked to watch the same cartoon, she liked the same bedtime story over and over again.
And so I saw in her that this familiar made her very, very safe. And of course, as we grow up, we
still hold on to a residue of that, "I'm safe if I go back to what's familiar, and I'm vulnerable if I
go for what's unfamiliar."

So it's a fact that your mind does like and would prefer to return to what is familiar. But here is
another fact, you can make anything you like familiar. You can make running familiar, you might
hate it, but if you run every day just for a mile, by six weeks, that's familiar.

If you decide to NutriBullet fresh juice every morning, eventually that will become familiar. If
you take the sugar out of your coffee and start to drink it black, you certainly won't like it, but if
you do it for a few weeks, it then becomes familiar. So if you want to have an uncompromised
life, and I know you do, because that's why you're here with me, it's actually your job to choose
what you are going to make familiar.

It's important to understand your mind's job is to reject what is unfamiliar in case it stops you
being safe. But it's your job to take anything you want and to make it familiar.

So let's look at some of the things that you could make familiar that will change your life.

One of the best things of all is self-belief. Wake up every day and while you're cleaning your
teeth say, "I'm a good person. I have some really great skills, and I apply myself, and people like
me. I like myself." That's a very good thing to make familiar. And that's not hard it's just a
question of saying it every day. You see, we all talk to ourselves. The minute we get up, we look
in the mirror, and we go, "Oh, my hair looks terrible. I should have got this shirt dry-cleaned.
Oh, this doesn't really fit. Where have I put my phone, have I charged my satnav, have I got
enough money in the car for the parking meter? I must remember to call that person."

We start our inner dialogue the minute we get up, and all you have to do is make your
dialogue better. "I'm a good person, I'm talented, I'm smart, I have a lot of enthusiasm, I'm
really driven, I'm very ambitious, I work hard." You can choose the words. They don't have to be
mine. Make praising yourself familiar.

If you want to make two things familiar, they are self-belief and self-praise because nothing
in the world will boost your self-esteem like praise. Particularly your own praise, because as
far as your mind is concerned, it has more value because it must be true, why would you lie to
yourself?

And looking after yourself, silly little things like drinking some water first thing in the morning,
eating better food, exercising, getting off your bus or train a stop early and walking more.
Taking the stairs instead of the lift. There are so many little tiny things that you can make
familiar.

And then let's look at what you need to make unfamiliar, well, here's two things, criticizing
yourself. You need to really make that unfamiliar. If you hear yourself say, "Oh, I've blown
that. I'll never do that. That will never work out. I'm not good at that." You need to stop that
straight away, shut down that critical voice. And self-doubt, make that unfamiliar too.

You see, if you stood at the top of the mountain about to ski going, "I can't do it. I know I'm
going to fall over. I'm useless, I'm terrible, I'm hopeless at skiing." Well, you probably won't
have a great skiing experience, because you have to say, "I can do this, this excites me, I'm
ready," even if you're not. And I want you to think of yourself as a mental athlete. An athlete
always has to say before any kind of performance, any kind of competition, "I'm ready, I'm
psyched, I can do it, I'm great." They can never go, "Well, it's okay. I really hope I can do this.
I'm going to try, I'm not really great at this, but I'll give it my best shot, but I'm a bit useless
really." They would never dream of using that kind of language.

And because athletes psyche themselves up all the time, it becomes so familiar that they start
to do it as second nature. So, I invite you to look at a list of things that you would like to have, in
particular habits and traits and make them familiar. And then look at a second list of things that
you really would love to be free of and make them unfamiliar.

And look at the people that you know that are doing really, really well, and you'll notice that
positive self-talk is very, very familiar to them. Look at boxers going into the ring, look at your
favorite actor, look at your favorite celebrity, or singer, or someone that you admire, a
politician, a good one obviously, and notice that they have positive self-talk in common.

Very few of them started out like that, they learned to do it, they made it familiar. So you too
are going to make positive self-talk, self-praise, and applying yourself familiar, and then you are
going to make anything negative unfamiliar. And now I'm going to answer some of your
questions, which is always my favorite thing to do.

So let's go to some questions, here's my first question from Karen. "In your work with weight
loss and fitness, what were the familiar and unfamiliar mindsets beyond the obvious eat
healthy, workout, enjoy, make them a priority that you saw in people who had lasting
success? What if being small feels unfamiliar?"

Yeah, in fact I had a lot of interesting issues with clients, and there certainly are some clients
who actually are very big, will lose a lot of weight, and when they become small, they really
don't like it and they resist it, and they prefer to go back to being big. And it's almost always
without question because either they were very bullied at school and they would think things
like, "When, I'm big, this is not going to happen to me. If I was big, nobody would hurt me." I've
worked with a lot of people who were abused, sexually abused as children and interesting, they
have the same thought, "If I was a big person, nobody would hurt me." And physical abused
too.

So one of my clients in particular lost a lot of weight and looked just breathtakingly stunning.
And within three months, she was back to being big and all her features kind of disappeared.
And when I worked with her, she went back to an interesting scene where her father was
hitting her mother when she was three and she ran to get in front of her mother and her father
literally flung her to one side, like that, like a ragdoll. And she had that thought, "If I was big, I
could protect my mommy. If I was big, I could stop daddy hitting mommy." And then when she
went to school, her brother who was older than her but very, very intimidated because of this
violent father was being hit in the playground, and she ran up to protect him. And everyone
laughed and said, "You are just a little kid, you are just a little girl." And she had the same
thought, "If I was big, this wouldn't happen."

So I want any of you with this issue with feeling uncomfortable with being slim, and lean, and
light, and even slight to look at, if you've ever in your life wished to be big. And you see, some
people don't have the physical abuse, but they have other thoughts, and they go, "I'm going to
be a big person." If you feel insignificant or that you don't matter which is very, very common, if
you've ever felt small and insignificant at some level, you long to be big. And of course, the
mind doesn't understand that being a big person doesn't mean big in bulk. And of course we
have that great film, "BIG" with Tom Hanks where he wished to be big when he grew up, and
the mind can be very confused.

If that's you, you need to go back and have a dialogue with one of them, "Look, yeah when I
was little, I didn't like being small. I felt vulnerable and I don't like being vulnerable. I want to be
strong, but I can be lean, and super-fit, and incredibly strong," because of course if you look at
some of the people who do Kung Fu, they are actually tiny but powerful. We know that the
most powerful snake is that tiny black mamba. So it's not about size, it's about strength. So you
know I told you in the very first module that our mind does what it truly believes we want it to
do. Tell your mind, "I used to want to be big and now I want to be lean, and powerful but lean."
And your mind will get it.

So here's another one from Justina. "Hi Marisa, I can think of a few things I'd like to make
familiar and unfamiliar, and during the exercise, it's difficult for me to focus on just one thing
and clarify my mind exactly what it is. Would it be better if I wrote it down on a paper first?"
Absolutely, in fact I would take a piece of paper put a line down the middle and list everything
that you want to make unfamiliar and everything that you want to make familiar. And then go
over that list, and maybe pick the top three or four, you can certainly work with more than one
thing at a time, but don't give yourself 10 or 11 things. Pick three or four, by all means write it
out, stick that somewhere where you can see it, maybe onto your computer and look at it every
day. And keep working on making a few things unfamiliar while making a few things really
familiar. And of course you can add to that list all the time. So that's a great question.
And here's Nicole, "Could you address removing shame as a familiar state of mind? I feel like a
habitual shame stemming from a religious family attitude towards choices, even as a young
adult, and this affects patterns of self-sabotage, and I have trouble getting rid of them. I didn't
choose those beliefs but there they are." Well, of course I get that because all religions will say,
"If you give me child until five, I will have that child forever," which isn't strictly true, but we do
get very indoctrinated. And a lot of people do feel tremendous shame. And what I want you to
do whenever you think of the shame is to go, "It's not mine. This is not mine, this is my
mother's, my father's, my grandmother's, it's not mine, I don't own it. I choose to let it go."

And I want you to keep saying that out loud, obviously not in front of people. But if you
suddenly feel shameful about lust, or sexual attraction, or your body, or anything at all which
someone else gave you, I want you to say, "It's not mine. That is not mine." We know that small
children love to run around naked, they have no shame whatsoever about their body, their
bodily functions, and why should they? And of course we learn shame. You can make your cat
feel shameful for jumping on the sofa if you train it well enough, but it wasn't born with that
shame and neither were you. So I want you to keep saying, "This is not mine, I don't have this,
someone gave this to me and I'm giving it right back."

And even imagine handing that shame back and saying, "I don't want this, I've grown out of
this, this is outdated," in the same way that you wouldn't take your first ever mobile phone,
that's like a brick, and keep using it just because it was once useful. You need to see the shame
as something outdated, like an outdated TV in your house that's 20 years old that you wouldn't
use. And just keep remembering it's not yours. It doesn't belong to you. Someone gave it to you
and now you are letting it go because it's redundant, it's useless, it's outmoded, keep saying
that, Nicole, and I promise you it will go away. Just keep making that familiar to say, "This is not
mine, I didn't choose this, I don't want it, I have no more use for it," and then the shame will
become unfamiliar.

And here's Ashwida [SP], I do hope I'm saying your name correctly. "How can I make losing my
temper and being abusively angry at certain people unfamiliar and trusting myself to be kind
and gentle to others? I tolerate being treated badly, and then I feel that I hurt people and I
make them unhappy and I'm confused in relationships." Well, Ashwida, you are a very hurt
person. Angry people are incredibly hurt. There is always a hurt behind anger, and here's the
trick, instead of expressing the anger, you really need to start expressing your hurt.

So I want you to say every day, again, and I know it sounds crazy, but I only tell you these things
because they absolutely work. I've seen in my own practice the benefits of all the things I'm
teaching you. I want you to say, "I'm hurt, my feelings are hurt, I got hurt when...I was hurt
by..." of course finish the sentence, I don't know what hurt you. But let's imagine you say, "I
was hurt by a cold mother, I was hurt by an abusive father. My boyfriend hurt me or my
girlfriend hurt me when they ignored me, rejected me, put me down, criticized me." I want you
to start saying that hurt my feelings.
And in any situation where someone hurt you, I want you to say to them, "You are hurting my
feelings." Don't say, "You are making me so angry, you are annoying me." Just say, "You are
hurting my feelings, I feel hurt by this behavior," because as you start to express your hurt, I
promise you everything will change. The key to having emotional inner peace and well-being is
expressing your hurt as close to an event occurring as it possibility can. And many, many, many
of us do not know how to express our hurt. And sometimes you can't say to your boss or your
colleague, "You hurt me." You can't say to a very difficult mother-in-law, "You are hurting my
feelings," but you can always say it yourself.

I taught my daughter when she was very little to go, "Mommy, that hurt my feelings." And it did
wonders for her, and she learned to say it at school too, because anger is unexpressed hurt. So
the more you can say, "My feelings are hurt, I feel hurt by...I was hurt when...that hurt me, it
hurt my feelings," the more you will stop losing your temper and you'll be nicer to people. But
don't tolerate being treated badly. When someone treats you badly don't say, "You are making
me mad," just say, "That behavior is hurtful and it hurts my feelings." Some of them might not
get it, they may even be a bit mean, it doesn't matter. Your feelings are out or in, right now you
have so much hurt feelings that are in that want to come out. They are coming out as anger.
You can stop that by saying, "My feelings are hurt." Start right now, I can only promise you it
will change everything.

Here's Aaron, "What is the most effective way to stop a chronic pattern of success and failure,
all or nothing, when it comes to taking action on business and health issues?" Well, you see,
that's a mistake a lot of people make. They go, "Right, I'm going to the gym every single day,
and I'm going to only eat really healthy food. And I'm going to succeed." And then they have
one cookie they, "Ah, I've blown it now," so they have 10. Or people who commit 100% to work
and have no down time, no free time, and then they sabotage it all because frankly they are
exhausted. You need to give yourselves some down time. So let's imagine your chronic pattern
of success and failure is because you expect too much of yourself. You say, "I'm going to give
every minute of every day to my business or to working out," it's not realistic.

You need to also give yourself some time off, you don't need to do anything 100%. If you do it
85-90% you will get the same results. I want you to look at the fact that it's all or nothing,
because you are giving your all, everything you've got, and there's nothing left, and then
eventually you can't take it anymore. So the way to stop that is to factor in some down time.
I'm going to give 90% to my business. The most successful people I know at business do
something I do, when they walk in the office, they become the professional person. They leave
home behind, they don't call home, they don't ring up to see how everything is, they just
commit to work.

And when they go home, and they walk through the front door, they leave the work behind.
They don't check emails, they become mommy, daddy, friend, lover. And Picasso said, "The
reason I'm so good at being Picasso is when I step into my studio, I actually leave who I am
behind and I'm 1000% a painter. When I go home, I'm no longer a painter." So what you are
doing is getting confused. When you go into your office, give 1000%, and when you leave your
office, go home and give 1000% to being the social you, and that will help you break this
pattern of all or nothing.

So I have another question from Scott, "I'm not getting memories, thoughts, or feelings from
my childhood. Why do you think that is, and when we do work with these how do I resolve
it?" Well, some people don't get memories from their childhood straightaway. For some
people, it takes some time for the memories to come back. If you have no memories and your
childhood wasn't great, it's usually because your mind has a belief, you don't want to go there.
And often we say things as you grow up, "I'm never going to remember that, I'm going to
pretend that never happened. I'm going to put that out of my mind. I'm never going to mention
that again, I'm just going to forget it ever happened to me."

It's very common to communicate like that to ourselves, we say things like, "I wish that never
happened, I'm going to act like that never happened." And of course, you have told your mind
something interesting, "I don't want to remember it, I don't want to go back there." In session
one when I said, your mind does what it really thinks you want it to do. Well, Scott, somewhere,
somehow you've said to your mind, "Let's forget about that, put it out of my mind." And so for
you, you need to start to say to your mind, "I'm ready to have access to scenes from my
childhood, I want to remember stuff. I know it wasn't all great, but I'm not reliving it, I'm
reviewing it. I want these scenes. I'm ready to review them and to understand them."

And the more you tell your mind, "I want them, I'm ready for them, give them to me," the more
your mind will begin to understand you want those scenes. The only reason you are not getting
them is because you are saying things like, "I don't know if I can handle it, I'm not sure I even
want to look at that again." When you know I can review this like a movie, and I'm never going
to relive it, I'm just going to understand it and benefit from it, those scenes will start to come
back bit by bit. So have faith and I promise you that will happen.

Here's Camilla, lovely name. "What's the best way to make wealth familiar or heal money issues
when someone didn't have it as a child and feels uncomfortable or guilty with the idea of being
very wealthy, or self-sabotages monetary goals?" Well, you've kind of answered your own
question, you didn't have it as child, and so it's unfamiliar. You need to start to say to yourself,
"I am familiar with money, I am comfortable with money." This has come up so much in my
practice, I actually have a recording called Wealth Wiring which really wants you to have
money, and I'm going to give it to everybody at the end of the eight weeks.

I'm starting a Facebook page for all of you, and I will give all of you this Wealth Wiring. But for
the moment, what I want you to do is to keep telling yourself, "I am familiar with money,
money comes to me, I attract money. It's simply energy and I attract it. When I have it, I am so
comfortable with money. I'm comfortable keeping it, I'm comfortable spending it." We often
have parents who say things like, "Oh, money is the root of all evil," or "Yeah, when those
people became rich, they lost themselves. And rich people are evil, and rich people are cold and
mean. And look at that rich..." swear word to follow which I won't repeat.
And you see it with small children, we learn what we live. If your parents despised people that
had money, if your parents thought people who had money had no values, then as a child, you
have no choice but to believe that too. So just look at what you still say and think about money,
turn it over, find the opposite and start to say, "I am so comfortable with money, I attract it and
keep it. I make more money, it comes to me, it's simply a return for the great work that I do."
So, look at what you've said in your question and change it, "I'm comfortable with money, I'm
so comfortable with wealth because I do great things with that money," and stop sabotaging
yourself. And I will give you the Wealth Wiring at the end of the eight weeks, you'll love it.

Here's Kim's question, "How do you avoid thinking about possible negative outcomes in
addition to the positive when weighing your options and making decisions?" Well, that's an
interesting question, I imagine you are saying something like, "Yes, so I'm going to buy this
house, but what if I don't have enough money," or, "I'm going to attract this great person, what
if they reject?" or "I'm going to get that great job, what if I'm not good enough?" You might
remember me telling you about Penny who I asked her to say, "I have phenomenal coping
skills." When thinking about positive outcomes, if negative ones come in, you just say, "I can
handle that."

Part of being very successful is that you have issues to deal with. Part of owning a home is that
things go wrong that you have to finance, it can't all just be good, good, good, good, good. Part
of making yourself look very attractive is that you sometimes get a wealth of attention
especially if you are female. And all you do is say, "I cope with everything, I've got great coping
skills, I attract the best positive outcome." And if anything negative comes with it, I deal with it
because I've got great skills, and dealing with the negative is something I've taken my stride, I
handle it. It's all positive, and if there's anything negative, I am perfectly equipped to take that
in my stride, deal with it, and go on with the positive.

So it's really about accepting that, there's always going to be something and you can deal with
it, you will deal with it. The more you tell yourself, Kim, that you have fantastic coping skills, the
more you'll deal with it. So make the right decision, and if there's anything negative, then just
go, "That's okay, if that happens to crop up, I can deal with that."

So let's go on to the next question, which is Rubia [SP], I hope I'm pronouncing your name
correctly. "Can you suggest any mantras, any words, any phrases that will keep me on track
during this time I'm working on and practicing the teachings of the training session?" Yeah, well
here's some great words. "I have a fantastic memory, I remember everything Marisa is telling
me, it's all going in, and I'm using it. First I do it, and then it becomes me." So one of the things I
like to say is these words are having a fundamental impact on me. They are becoming who I am
more than what I do, you can choose your own words, but something along the lines of, "This is
all going in, I remember it all, it's having such a powerful profound impact on me and I'm using
it.

It's going in and I'm using it every day. Now, this isn't what I do, this is who I am, it's the
fundamental, integral, powerful, permanent part of me." You don't have to use those words,
you can just say, "I'm really getting this. I love it, I remember it, I put it into practice, it's who I
am." Something along those lines will really work for you. Let's do a group exercise, because I
love these things that are showing you how powerful your mind is.

So let's do something very simple, it's a very basic exercise, and if you have children, you can do
it with them, too. I want you to just put your arms out like that shoulder level, fingers wide
apart and your hands like that. So lock your elbows, put your fingers wide apart, and I want you
to look at the position of my hands. What I'm going to do is tell you that you have a powerful,
powerful magnet putting your hands together. Not yet, you are going to close your eyes, and
then you are going to feel that your hands will pull together, draw together, and they will meet,
touch and when they meet and touch, they'll drop down into your lap.

And I want you to just focus on that because it's absolutely going to happen. In fact, when you
start to feel the magnetic force, it becomes impossible to stop it. So put your hands out like so,
close your eyes, just rehearse your hands touching, and now with your eyes closed, hands
open. So with our eyes closed, hands open, I want you to keep your eyes closed, and I want you
to image in there is a powerful, powerful magnet running between your palms, so just pulling
your hands closer, and closer, and closer together. With every second that passes, you can feel
that magnetic current, and now as I start to count, it is drawing your hands together on the
count of one.

Your thumb is your wrist, your palms are moving, pulling, drawing, closing together on the
count of two. That magnetic force is becoming stronger, and stronger, and stronger. On the
count of three, your hands are moving together, pulling together, drawing together, closing
together. On the count of four, as you focus on that magnetic force, that powerful current, it is
increasing all by itself when you can just notice that happen. On the count of five, the closer
your hands are, the more powerful. The more forceful, the more irresistible that pull is. The
harder you try to resist it, the stronger it is. Your hands are moving together, pulling together,
drawing together, closing together.

On the count of six and seven, just getting ready to meet and touch. And when your hands
meet and touch, they will drop down into your lap. So just focus on the fact that your hands are
pulling, drawing, meeting, closing, touching. And when they touch, they drop down into your
lap. Now some people before I even got to four, their hands have come together and drop
down, other people may at 10, still be feeling that magnetic current pulling their hands, pulling
their hands. And the closer their hands get, the more stronger, the more powerful the more
forceful it is. So wherever you are now, just let your hands drop down and just think about what
that was like for you. You see the minute you start to think about that magnetic force running
between your palms, you mind starts to create it, you think about magnetic force.

What particularly happens is that a lot of people think, "Well I'm not visual, and I couldn't see
it," but as I start to say those words, "magnetic force pulling your hands together," your hands
do indeed start to move together. For many people, you simply cannot stop it. You can't stop
that irresistible force. I want you to think about what that was like for you. How was that? Did
you feel that magnetic current immediately? Did it creep up when you...I am taking you through
this rather quickly because of time, and if I had longer, I'd spend longer doing that, but really
you don't need longer. So what was that like for you? Did you feel that current? Were you
shocked when your hands met and touched? Some people will say, "I didn't even know it was
working, and then all of a sudden, I noticed that my hands had touched, and then I knew it was
working.

And you can do that yourself. And so, and some people are saying that their hands stop pulling
as they got quite close together. Does that mean anything? No, not really. You are listening to
me, and maybe you are opening your eyes and looking at the screen, and maybe as you saw it
working, you just stopped and thought, "Wow, this is interesting." Some people actually get a
little bit scared, and as it gets really close they say, "Oh, I'm going to resist this now," which is
okay, it doesn't matter. I just want you to see how very, very suggestable you are, because
when you can say here's a magnet pulling my hands together, "Oh, look it's happening," you
can then say, "Okay, so what did I say?" I've got a great memory, that happens when I say, I
forget everything that happens.

When I say, "I'm a fantastic coach, I'm really good at getting more clients," that happens when I
say, "My clients don't come back, and they don't seem to like me, and I don't seem to get
through to them," you can make that happen, too. Your mind believes whatever you tell it. I'm
proving that to you every week, that's a fact. And now your job is to tell it great things, your
mind's job is to believe what you tell it, your job, your absolute job is to tell your mind great
things, amazing things, better things, empowering things, and watch as your life takes off. And
that really does happen.

So I'd love to have some feedback on that, and then we'll go on to some more questions. So if
there's anything you want to ask me about that magnet, and by all means, when the session is
finished, try it again. You don't even need to hear my voice, just put your hands out like that,
close your eyes, and say there's a powerful magnet pulling, pulling, pulling my hands together.
There's a strong magnet drawing, drawing, drawing my hands together. Do it with you friend,
you'll be amazed at how very, very, very effective it is. And again, remember that we all do this
at our own pace. Don't compare yourself to other people. Remember, I tell you a lot about how
for many people change is instant.

So Marisa, oh you sound a bit like me." My hands came together almost instantly," well yes that
really can happen. They can come together immediately. Christian said, "That was great, I felt it
straight away. And you see, these are just lessons, we love the proof. Once you prove the
power that your mind believes what you tell it, you then have got to start to tell it great things.
Saying, "I always mess it up. I never remember to do that. I always forget the most important
thing. When I go for an interview, I always blush. I always look really nervous and fiddle with my
hands."

Well, you are telling your mind that. Now, you tell it the opposite, "When I go for an interview,
I'm calm, I'm composed, I'm fantastic. I express myself really well, I always do things sensibly."
Anne Marie said, "It was a very simple belief exercise." Of course, I want it to be simple because
it is simple. Your mind believes what you tell it. Tell it better things, your mind does what you
tell it, tell it good things. Whenever you are saying negative things, say the opposite. Even
saying, "I'm clumsy. I'm a klutz." That isn't true, but if you use those words, it becomes true. Tell
yourself the opposite.

Maggie said, "My fingers were prickling, very energetic." Yeah, you feel that increased cell
activity in your fingertips, and it's your power, this is not my power. It's your power to tune in
to certain beliefs and see how quickly your mind believes what it is told. And it's your power to
tell it way better things. Kat said, "I love these exercises, they seem so simple, and then you
explain how it relates the brain and mind. And yes, it's proof thank you. Love you and how
you've already changed my life." Well, I love you, Kat, because you are giving me wonderful
feedback. And that is my passion, my passion has always been, look at the how the brain works,
make it simple.

It doesn't have to be complicated, look at what your mind is doing, look at what it responds to,
break it down. And of course, uncompromised life is all about breaking down how the mind
works to make it simple, to make it accessible, to make your changes simple. And I don't want
you to have to do reams and reams of reading, and writing, and work, I want you to do this
every day because it is so, so simple. To just flip over negativity, I can never find things, I always
find things. I can never speak to people, I speak to people so easily. I'm not good in groups, I'm
fantastic in groups.

You can always turn over the negative thing what you are saying and make it positive. And if
only people taught this in schools, the whole world would actually start to be rather different,
and that's my ambition. And even by helping parents who help their children, it helps other
children. So thank you, Kat, they are simple, but simple doesn't mean that it doesn't work.
Simple is actually very, very, powerful.

Nigel said, "That it was so helpful. I just had an epiphany. Thank you so much. I knew it
intellectually, but now I know it by heart." It's a good idea for you to often do the things.
Remember in the third week when I had you stand up with your eyes closed and imagine that
powerful magnet pulling you forwards, backwards, sideways, sometimes do that yourself. You
remember in that first day when my cameraman put his arm up and I pushed down where I had
him say certain words, do those things. You remember I showed to say things like, "I'm
confident, I'm confident, I'm confident. I'm useless, I'm useless, I'm useless." Keep doing those
exercises to show you. So now I'm going to go to some live questions, my favorite part, but
keep on doing these things.

So I'm ready now to take in some open questions. So here's one, it says, "With real physical
chronic pain such as migraines, chronic fatigue, how can saying 'This is unfamiliar,' really change
this pain that has escalated?" That's a very, very good question. If you have migraines, or
chronic fatigue, I want you to say, "I am making this unfamiliar." So for instance, you may have
to drink a lot of water, eat a much better diet, a lot of migraines are hormonal, and you may
have to look at your diet.

A lot of chronic fatigue is also due to having a terrible diet, but also telling yourself terrible
things, "I'm exhausted, I'm shattered." No one is exhausted, no one is shattered. It's rather like
people who say, "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse, I am starving." None of us have ever been
starving, and none of us could ever eat a horse, and none of us have legs the size of a house.
But we say those things to ourselves and wonder why we have a ferocious appetite.

So with chronic fatigue, don't say words like, "I'm exhausted, I'm shattered, I'm dying on my
feet," instead why don't you start saying, "I'm dehydrated, I need a little more sleep"? Because
when you say to yourself, "I'm dehydrated," your mind understands that is temporary, you are
dehydrated. You can even say tired, tired is temporary. When you say things like, "I'm dying of
exhaustion," that's a very scary word that your mind locks on. When you say, "This headache is
killing me, I'm dying with this migraine," you need to say, "Yeah, I'm uncomfortable. My head is
uncomfortable, but it's getting better."

So it isn't about saying, "I don't have a headache, I don't have a headache," when you do have a
headache. It's about saying, "My head feels uncomfortable," rather than, "Oh my God, this
headache is killing me." It's about saying, "I'm feeling a little fatigued, I'm feeling dehydrated, I
need a little more sleep," rather than saying, "I am exhausted, I'm shattered, I'm dying on my
feet," because that sends a message to your brain that is far too descriptive. And of course you
know that we actually become the words we use. And of course, with pain, you can't say it's not
there when it is there, but you can say, "I am making adjustments, I'm making lifestyle changes,
I am making this pain unfamiliar. It may take me a little work, but I'm committed to being free
of this pain to making it unfamiliar. I am committed to making health familiar."

So do you see? Look at the words you are using, understand that the strongest force in every
human being is that we act in a way that is absolutely consistent with the words we use. And
people use words like, "Oh, this pain is horrendous. Its agony, I'm in agony." They very rarely
are in agony, it's like, "This agonizing pain, this excruciating headache. This headache is killing
me." That's not true. Start to call it discomfort, an uncomfortable symptom. And as you
minimize the words, guess what else you minimize? That's right, the pain. Minimize the words,
minimize the pain. Intensify the words, intensify the pain.

So here's Janice. "There is also a repetitive pattern of being overwhelmed. Not having enough
time to do everything I want and need to do. How do I release that pattern and install a new
healthier pattern?" Well, we do live in a world now where everyone says," I'm busy, busy, I
haven't got enough time, I'm too busy," and we often wake up saying, "I haven't got enough
time." I saw on Tribe this week that someone was saying that their mother always used those
words, and she uses those words, too. So I want you to start to say, "I have enough time, I have
all the time I need," even if that isn't true, you have enough time. Life is long, we have plenty of
time, you are overestimating what you can do in a day, underestimating what you can do in a
week. So pace yourself a little more.
And some things you just have to give up. When I had a baby, I was amazed the amount of my
friends who went, "Oh, I have got no time," and ironed baby clothes and ironed sheets." I
mean, you don't have to iron sheets. You don't have to iron socks. Some stuff, ironing
handkerchiefs, who does that? I never put my daughter in little cashmere jumpers that have to
be hand washed, because for me, it's a waste of time. So look at your life and realize that
maybe you are spending too much time doing things that don't matter. Do the things that
matter. And the stuff that doesn't matter, leave it. You don't even have to make your bed in the
morning unless you particularly want to. It's not important. No one is going to see that. They
are going to see you doing things that matter more.

So look at your life and look at the fact that you probably wake up saying, "So much to do, so
much to do, so much to do. Not enough time, not enough time," like a train track. Prioritize the
things that matter, let some things go. But also say to yourself, "I have enough time. I get things
done because I have phenomenal coping skills, but also because I select the things that matter
the most and do them first, and I leave the stuff that matters the least until later."

So Natalie has said, "How can I change my pattern of making decisions that are bad, unloving to
myself, letting fear or confusion override the gut feeling and excitement of taking an
opportunity?" That's an interesting question because it sounds like you don't trust yourself. You
see, you should make a decision slowly and then stick with it. When you make decisions quickly,
"I'm going to do that, and that, and that," you often change your mind all the time. So I would
go back to your gut feeling. The gut is called the second brain because your gut responds very
much to your thinking. So when you are making a decision, take a little time. Decision is Latin
for to 'cut off from.'

When you make a decision, you are supposed to stick to it all the time. So don't rush your
decisions, give yourself a little time and say things like, "I'm just going to think about this and
play with this. And I'm going to know, my gut is going to tell me it's the right thing. I will
instinctively, intuitively know." And that may not be true, but if you keep saying that, you will
start to learn to trust your gut instinct, which is always right. So don't make quick decisions,
don't say, "Oh, I don't know." Say, "I need to think about that." Often people say, "Could you do
that?" and we go, "Oh yes!" And then we say, "Why did I say I'd go to that party or help that
person out?" It's good to say, "Let me think that over, I need a little time to consider that." That
will allow you to make decisions more slowly and rarely have to change them. Trust yourself.
Give yourself a little more time. If your behavior is rash, you need longer, and that's absolutely
fine.

Linda said, "My mind is so strongly resistant, I give up so easily. I consider anything hard work I
might give it up. I have so many tools, so much understanding and knowledge for everyone
else, but all of those things that I've learned to share to help others, I never apply them to
myself." Here's an interesting habit of thought you have, "My mind is so strongly resistant,"
that's your belief. First you make a belief, then your belief makes you. And if your belief is, "My
mind is so strongly resistant," of course you will give up. I have occasionally, like 1 or 2% of my
clients are going to go, "Nothing works, that doesn't work, I've tried everything it doesn't work."
And I say, "You know what? You sound really proud of that." They go, "Yeah, I am. I'm very
proud. Nothing works because my mind is so strong."

And then I have to get them to understand that it's their language that is so strong. So why
don't say, "My mind is so strongly receptive, I've got a strong mind, but I can choose what to let
in. So I am going to start to say, "My mind is so strong," and as I tell my mind I want this, I'm
ready for this, I let it in, my strong mind lets it in." So just change one word, "My mind is
strongly resistant, my mind is strongly receptive." Change resistant to receptive and watch how
things change.

And then when you say, "My mind is receptive to good stuff," you can say…instead of saying, "I
give up easily," say, "I keep going, I persist. I give myself that lag time, that cumulative time,
that retroactive time to see this working," because sometimes there is lag time. And if I
consider anything hard work, I tell myself, "Well, that's okay, I can do it." And because I do it for
everyone else, I do it for myself. I apply it to myself. All your answers, Linda, are in your
question, and that's a good thing. You apply it, you are strongly receptive, and you keep going.
And you will be fine. I know it. And you can come back to me and let me know.

Alice has said, "When we say something positive but we don't really believe it, how will that get
the brain to change? Don't we have to believe what we say for it to have an effect on us and
change us?" That's a great question, and the answer is actually no. You don't have to believe it
all. When your parents say things like, "I'm going to kiss you better and kiss away the pain," or,
"That bad person is going to get you," or, "When you lie, did you know your tongue goes
green?" And then the person who is lying goes, "Well, I'm not going to put my tongue out
because that will happen." You see, when we are very little, we are told things that aren't true
and we believe them. And as an adult, you don't have to believe it.

Most people, well you know there's no magnet pulling you backwards and forwards, you know
there's no bucket in blue making one arm go up and arm go down. You know in the hypnosis
logically that your eyes cannot be glued together, but your mind doesn't care what you tell it. It
does believe it. And therefore, you must tell yourself positive things. We know that if you go
somewhere like Haiti where voodoo is all around you, it starts to affect you. When I go to
Africa, I'm very amazed by people who believe things like shaping of the bone and voodoo and
witchdoctors, they really believe it, because we are what we believe, but you can choose what
to believe. We are the only creatures that can do that. Cats can't choose to believe that having
a Jacuzzi as a wonderful thing, they are hardwired to not like water, but you and I, we are so
lucky, we can choose to believe.

A cat can't say, "I think I'm going to become a vegan today," they have to eat meat. A husky dog
can't say, "I think I'll go to Hawaii and lie on the beach," because they are wired to not like heat.
You and me Alice and everyone on this program, we choose what to believe. That is such a gift.
Choose to believe great things, and even if you think, "I don't really believe it," so what? You
didn't really believe the magnets, but I know they worked for you. So, if you don't believe it, it
doesn't matter keep saying it, keep saying it. We see things all the time where people are
influenced by beliefs. My grandmother in her generation they believed that you should take out
everybody's teeth and have false teeth. And in fact, for rich women, that was their present as a
bride, they got false teeth.

They used to believe that if women went on a train at more than 50 miles an hour, they'd have
a miscarriage. And now we have bullet trains that do 300 miles an hour. They used believe that
cows in fields as trains went past, wouldn't produce any milk. We had all these beliefs, the
world was flat, and we'd fall off it. We used to take appendix out as routine, we don't do that
anymore because our beliefs change all the time. You need to change your beliefs and just tell
yourself, "If I keep saying it, it will become true because it will become true. You don't have to
believe what you say, you have to say enough, and then it will affect you and change you.

Natalie has said, "Can I change how other people react to me by saying to myself how I'd want
them to be? If they ignore me or unwelcoming or rude, can I change what I attract by saying to
me what I want or is there a better way?" Well, you see, our thoughts radiate out from us and
back to us, people who match our thinking. So people who go out and say, "Everybody rejects
me and people don't like me, and dates never call me again," when you think that, you believe
it, and then you attract it. And you need to say something such as, "I have a magnetic
personality. I'm a good person, people like me, I like people and they like me back." And you
need to keep listening to the recordings I'm making. In the bonus recordings, the one on
confidence says a lot about how you like people and people like you, and you radiate this
magnetic, wonderful, easy personality that make people be drawn to you.

So I do advise you to go back to the bonus sessions and take that confidence recording, and buy
my confidence book, "Ultimate Confidence," on Kindle. Because it's such an easy book, and it
tells you exactly how you can indeed change how other people react to you. I used to be the
most insecure self-conscious person. I look back at myself at college, and I don't even recognize
myself. I was so insecure. If guys looked at me, I could never look back at them. I had to ignore
them. I couldn't talk to people. I thought I was ugly, and stupid, and I really lacked confidence.
And now, I feel like a completely different person because I am a completely different person
because I changed myself. It wasn't even hard. I just began to tell myself different things.

The first time I spoke, I had to hold on to this podium. My legs were like jelly, my knees were
knocking, my teeth were chattering. And then I began to say, "I can do this. I love doing this."
You have to tell yourself better things, "I love this, I like this, I love meeting people, I love
talking to people, people like me. I'm warm and friendly. We love warm people." So keep
saying, "I'm a warm person." And talk to people, make eye contact, act like you are really
interested. So tell yourself what you want, you can change people's reaction by saying, "I'm a
warm person." But of course when you meet people, you do have to make eye contact, and
smile, and ask them about themselves and it gets easier. First you do it, and then it becomes
you. So, just keep going Natalie. But please listen to that download and read the book, too.

So I'm going to take two more questions. So, I'm waiting for two more exciting questions. Here
is one from Navina. "How do I make being in a relationship familiar if I don't have one? If I'm
alone, how do I make familiar sharing my life with someone?" That's a fantastic question. Well,
I want you to again, go to the download in the bonus sections on attracting a loving
relationship. The amount of people who got married from listening to that recording, I made
that initially for Cosmopolitan Magazine. They said, "Could you make a recording on attracting
love?" I made it for Cosmo. They were bombarded with people who said...one woman said,
"This is so amazing, I actually got married to the guy next door. He's lived there for eight years
and never even saw him, played that recording, and suddenly we noticed each other. We were
married within a year."

But I want you to start saying, Navina, "I'm attracting love, I'm a loving person, I'm a good
person, I resonate good qualities. People like me, they are attracted to me," and begin to
imagine. So when you get into bed at night, imagine having someone great to cuddle up with.
When you are making dinner, imagine sharing that, and keep saying, "I am going to be soon
making dinner for me and my partner. Sleeping with a guy that just adores me and is adored by
me," of course it must be equal. When you are doing little things like shopping, say, "Soon I'm
going to be holding my guy's hand and doing this together." Keep imprinting great pictures in
your mind of you in a loving relationship, loving and respecting someone who loves and
respects you. And tell yourself, "I'm worth it. I deserve it." Listen to that recording.

I've put those recordings in the bonus section because I knew that they were the absolute
recordings for you. And of course, you can join the Facebook group that I'm starting for you too,
and interact with other people who are also listening to those CDs, and you can go on to try and
talk to other people. But attracting a relationship becomes easier when you believe you are
lovable. That is the one thing you must believe, I am lovable. So take My Lovability tape that's
free, combine it with a relationship tape, and you will be in a relationship so fast.

And here is Ben, "How to change the same negative thoughts about the past which continue to
pop up every day." Well, you have to practice. You see, it's very easy. You wouldn't go to the
gym, do one sit-up, and go, "I've got a flat stomach now." If you go to the gym, they say you
need to do lunges every day to have strong legs. You need to do crunches every day to get a flat
stomach. And then you need to keep doing them to keep that flat stomach. These are a form of
crunches. You do have to keep working with your mind, there is a lag time. Same negative
thoughts about the past continue to pop up every day.

So I know I told you this last week, when you here that voice in your head going, "You can't do
it, you are useless," turn it into Mickey Mouse. Imagine someone is saying that with a voice that
is full of helium. Make it a cartoon silly character, laugh at it, and then put in the opposite of
those, positive thoughts, in a very calm, beautiful, strong voice. So when you hear the negative
voice going, "You can't do it, you'll never amount to anything," make that voice Mickey Mouse
and make the voice saying, "I am doing it, you just watch me. I am something. I'm becoming
something. I'm smart. I am a good person. I have skills and talents. I am going to show the
world how good I am."
You have to keep repeating that because here is the thing, the mind learns by repetition.
Repetition is vital to change. It isn't enough, it's like you eating salad one day thinking, "I've got
a healthy diet now." You have to eat healthy food every day pretty much to have a healthy diet.
You have to use positive words every day. Go on to Tribe Learn, come and join our Facebook
group, and we will help you all the time. So I'm taking a Facebook, and it's called
Uncompromised Life. So come and join that too, and we are going to give you things and help
people. Also go into Tribe and talk to other people. Because when you hear other people
saying, "Yeah, you know, Ben, I did that, the same negative thoughts came up, but then I
changed them."

So we have so much support for you. Tribe is great, The Uncompromised Life on Facebook is
great. Your bonus CDs are great. That book, "Ultimate Confidence," I know I wrote it, but I
wrote it for people like you. So read that book, you can buy on Kindle for like eight dollars, it's
really worth it. So, I want you to give me some feedback now. I'd love to know what was your
biggest learning and take away from today. Just give me some feedback. I want to know what
was your biggest learning today. What was your biggest take way from today? What did you get
from this? What did you learn from someone else's question that you thought, "You know
what? I'm going to use that."

And while I wait for your answers to come in, I want to remind you again, take the downloads,
the full bonus downloads. The Relationship and The Confidence are wonderful. Take Lovability.
If you have any self-doubt at all, go onto Tribe and interact. Go on to Facebook and join
Uncompromised Life, because we're making that for you. It's for you so we can help you,
support you, give you more stuff. And at the end, I will give you Wealth Wiring too. Because I
want you to have everything, I have everything. I have an amazing uncompromised life, which is
unrecognizable in every way from the life I started out with.

So Emmy has said, "Anger equaling unexpressed hurt was the big a-ha." I know, I don't why
they don't teach parents this. When you have angry kids, you have hurt kids. And when my little
girl was angry, I used to say to her, "You know baby, you are hurt. What's hurt you?" And she
would say to me what hurt her. I'd go, "Well, that's good. Let's express the hurt," and the anger
would go. Jacqueline said, "I didn't know my mind believes whatever I tell it." Well, you know it
know. You see, when you don't know that, you've got a get out clause. Now you know better.
You can do better. So everyday remind yourself, "My mind believes whatever I tell it," that's a
fact. Tell yourself great things. Annette said, "Being persistent will work in time."

It's very annoying if you have a friend that says, "I listened to this recording and boom! I
changed overnight." Because we don't all change that way, often we change gradually. Often
we look back and go, "Wow, I don't do that anymore, when did I change?" And always factor in
the lag time. Ann said, "I'm surprised how malleable and suggestible my mind is. I've heard this
all my life, but now I have experienced it, and I'm blown away by it, so powerful." You see, we
do have malleable suggestible minds, that's great news. Creative people are particularly
suggestible, great news. But here's a choice, when you are suggestible, you have to give
yourself great suggestions, not negative ones because your mind will accept all of them. Shut
out the negative, accentuate the positive.

Raquel said, "I love to know that I can turn a resistant mind into receptive mind," of course you
can. It's all about changing your words. I can't, I can. I'm useless, I'm amazing. I'm hopeless, I'm
outstanding. I'm a loser, I'm a great, skilled, talented person. You always have choices. Choose
to tell yourself better different positive powerful things. Yayah [SP] said, "That week one
training is important. The concept is so important. That simple south talk changes everything."
Actually I do think that when this session is over, it's a really good idea to back and do it all over
again because every week, I'm layering on something the next week. And it all segues and
layers together, but it's quite good to go back and listen to it again because then you think, "Oh
wow! Yeah, I'm getting this even more now. This makes even more sense to me." So I want you
to really understand that this is ongoing, the changes are ongoing.

Keith said, "My takeaway was on being big. I think I decided to be big so I could be strong and I
couldn't be hurt by my dad." Yeah, I bet you did, Keith. So many parents who are big terrify
their children without even meaning to, and we feel small. And when we feel small, we feel
vulnerable. And we think when we are big, we are powerful. It's like in New York, they say,
"He's huge, just a huge talent. That's huge." And so it's important to stop saying big and to say,
"I'm lithe, lean, and powerful."

Christopher said, "I learned visualizing a relationship, excellent advice." Yeah, draw it to you.
Keep seeing it. What you want wants you. What you are moving towards is moving towards
you. Keep it in your mind by using great language. Maggie said, "I had an epiphany about
relationships. I've always told myself that no man will adore me as much as my father, time to
reprogram." Yeah, one of my friends she used to sit with her little girl on her knee and say, "I
love you so much, nobody will ever, ever, ever love you like mommy. Nobody will ever love you
like me." And I had to say to her, "What are you programming that little girl to believe?" I used
to say to my daughter, "I love you so much. You are so lovable, and when you grow up, you are
going to find people who love you as much as I love you because you are lovable."

So Jenifer said, "The statement that I don't have to believe it, I just have to decide to believe it."
Yeah, decision means, 'cut off from.' Decide to cut off from those old beliefs that don't help
you, they hurt you and don't serve you. Why are you keeping them? You wouldn't keep old
stuff in your house like 20 year old remote controls that don't work, old software that doesn't
work. Don't keep beliefs that don't work, they clutter up your mind, and they are no use to you,
they are redundant, throw them out. Pamela said, "My big takeaway telling someone what they
are doing feels hurtful, it's huge." It is huge. We all should be taught in schools to express our
hurt, to say, "You hurt my feelings. That hurt me. I was hurt by...it hurt me when..." it is huge
because it changes your life.

Expressing your hurt is the key to having well-being. And I know I told you this last week, but
one of the ways you define someone who is mad, is how long it takes him express hurt. And
mad people will say, "Twenty years ago I lent you my jacket, and when you returned it, it hadn't
been cleaned." It's like, "What? How can I even remember that 20 years ago?" But they hold on
to hurt and express it when it's too late to resolve it. And the quicker you express your hurt, the
quicker you resolve it, the better you feel because it's out and not in.

Hanna has said, "Thank you so much, Marisa, this is just great and the best. A-ha today was the
time to feel that gut feeling before deciding." Okay, I get that. So Hanna has said that her best
takeaway was taking time. When something is important, you don't have to decide right now.
It's a bit like in a shop when they try to make you buy something, you go, "I'm going to go away
to think about it and come back." Because shop assistants will often press you to buy stuff, and
you say, "I just need a few minutes to think about that." Sales people on the phone will try and
commit you to buying because they know that if you make a decision rashly, it's good for them,
bad for you.

I need some time, when something is important just say, "I need to think about this. I'm going
to take some time to consider it." Give yourself your own time. When something is important,
take the time and trust your gut. And the smarter you are at waiting, the better the decisions
you'll come up with. Hilda said, "You gave me hope to learn your tricks for public speaking."
Thank you. Well, I do have a download on public speaking. It's such an easy thing to do when
you like yourself. You have to like yourself to stand on stage and talk to other people, and then
they like you and you like them, and it's not hard. But I have a great download that will help you
speak in public. And I really invite you to listen to that. I think it might be in the bonus section, it
certainly comes free with my book, "Ultimate Confidence." You pay seven dollars for the book
and you get the downloads free.

Wendy said, "Expressing my hurt feelings to myself was a big one for tonight. I have your book
it is excellent. Marisa, you are so inspirational for me, you are beautiful." Well, thank you that's
lovely. But you see, I would never go, "Oh, not really. It's 03:00 in the morning here. I haven't
had any sleep, I haven't even combed my hair," because when someone praises me, I let that
in. It's all about letting in stuff, letting compliments, praise yourself. Thank you Wendy, I'm sure
you are beautiful and inspirational, too. And nothing makes me feel better than inspiring
people, helping people, changing people. I have my own school now, I'm teaching other people
to do this. And it's extraordinary. And I'm now taking that school to Canada, and America, and
New Zealand because I love inspiring people.

We can't change the world, but here is what we can change, people. You can all change a few
people by changing yourself. If you express hurt and teach your kids to express hurt, and teach
your family members to express hurt, you don't have angry kids. If you can have a loving
relationship, then other people can have loving relationships. So you can look at my...I've got a
Facebook called "The Marisa Peer Method," which is all about my school, and I'll be bringing it
to America, probably next year.

So, let me talk about next week. We've talked today about making the familiar unfamiliar and
making the unfamiliar familiar. I want you to share your thoughts particularly on Tribe Learn, go
there and show...I'm on there answering questions and with Tribe Learn, I'm looking at what
you tell me, and I actually realized last week that a lot of people need a lot of healing. And so
the next two sessions I'm making for you, have got the most powerful, powerful healing within
them. I'm doing something called Healing Vortex and Command Therapy, which is actually
healing your body from emotional and physical issues.

And it's amazing, when I was filming, even my camera was going, "Wow, I can actually feel it's
working on me." So I'm excited. So I want you to share your thoughts about making the familiar
unfamiliar and making the unfamiliar familiar. Go on to Tribe Learn because I'm on there
looking at what you are saying, looking at your feedback and building each session around what
you tell me. Which is why I've put this powerful healing into your next two. And let me tell you
about next week. Next week is really interesting, the first three weeks have been all about
changing habits of thought, changing your thinking. And that has been a little bit of work, but
next week, this is about changing habits of action, it's actually easier. This is about three habits
that the most powerful, successful people who have uncompromised lives do.

And the thing they really do is they do what they hate, and they do what they hate first. Now
I'm not about making you do anything you hate and having a life full of stuff you hate because I
want you to love your life and do what you love. But in order to have a life where you do what
you love. I love what I do and I do what I love, but I had to do what I hate to get...or I had to ring
up people and ask them to write about me. I had to ring up magazines and newspapers and
asked them if they'd write about my work. I rang up television stations and asked if I could go
onto a particular show and contribute. And I can't tell you how much I hated that, because
every time you pick up the phone and say to someone, "Hey, do you want to write about me?"
They go, "No, I've never heard of you, who are you? No thanks," put the phone down.

And that happened, but what also happened is they went, "I'd love to write about you, sure.
Come on our show, or we'll send a journalist to your house." And I did what I hated, and I did it
first, and it made my life extraordinary. All successful people do what they hate first. So, that
may sound confusing and I'm not going to tell you too much about it because I want you to
tune in and listen to it. So next week we are going do what you hate and do what you hate first.
And actually the powerful healings come in week five and week six. But you are going to love
every week and I'm really excited about next week, because it's not about anymore changing
what's going on in here, we've done that. You are now rewiring your brain all the time to take in
these new mental habits.

And now you are absolutely ready, you're more confident, more aware, better at dialoging with
yourself, and you are ready to do this amazing habit that all successful people do. You do what
you hate first, particularly in the area of making phone calls, having to tell someone they've
disappointed you, having to confront someone, having to deal with your taxes, even having to
go to the gym. It will all make sense when you tune in and listen to it. I hope you love it because
I have loved putting it together for you. And when I'm making these, I'm always seeing you
changing your life the way I've changed my life. The way I've changed thousands of people's
lives all around the world. And every time they write to me and say, "You changed my life," who
would get sick of hearing that? I always think, "Wow, how could I ever, ever, ever be sick of
hearing that."

So thank you for today, it's been fantastic. You've been great. Again, thanks to all the people all
over Europe who got up in the middle of the night to do this with me. We are making that
familiar now. I can't wait to tune in with you again next week. And if I've missed your question,
go on to Tribe Learn, go on to the Facebook page Uncompromised Life because I'm here for you
and it's an absolute pleasure and a joy to help you.

Thanks for tuning in, see you next time.