g

Aspien irl
I AM
®

The Unique Characteristics, Traits and Gifts of

Females on the Autism Spectrum

By

Tania A. Marshall
I am AspienGirl®: The Unique Characteristics, Traits, and Gifts of Females
on the Autism Spectrum.

Copyright © Tania A. Marshall 2014

Table of Contents
www.aspiengirl.com Dedication...............................................................................................7

The moral rights of Tania A. Marshall to be identified as the author of this Introduction............................................................................................9
work have been asserted in accordance with the Copyright Act 1968.
Acknowledgements...............................................................................11
First published in Australia 2014 by Tania A. Marshall
Testimonials..........................................................................................13
ISBN 978-0-9923609-0-0 - print book
ISBN 978-0-9923609-1-7 - e-book Foreword...............................................................................................17

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or Cognitive/Personality............................................................................18

transmitted by any means, electronic, photocopying or otherwise without
prior written permission of the author. School...................................................................................................32

Disclaimer Social....................................................................................................40
All the information, techniques, skills and concepts contained within this
publication are of the nature of general comment only, and are not in any Play.......................................................................................................57
way recommended as individual advice. The intent is to offer a variety
of information to provide a wider range of choices now and in the future, Sensory.................................................................................................62
recognising that we all have widely diverse circumstances and viewpoints.
Should any reader choose to make use of the information contained herein, Emotional.............................................................................................71
this is their decision, and the author and publisher does not assume any
responsibilities whatsoever under any conditions or circumstances. The Communication/Language....................................................................88
author and publisher does not take responsibility for the results of the
readers decision to use this information. It is recommended that the reader Interests................................................................................................91
obtain their own independent advice.
Strengths.............................................................................................108
Models are for illustrative purposes only, unless clearly stated otherwise.
5 Important AspienGirl® needs........................................................... 117

Appendix 1.........................................................................................127

I AM Aspien
girl ®
5
Appendix 2.........................................................................................137

Appendix 3 ........................................................................................139

Appendix 4.........................................................................................146

References .........................................................................................151

Dedication
Further Projects..................................................................................152

Future Titles.......................................................................................153

About the Author................................................................................154

To the warrior AspienGirls I have been privileged to work with over
the years. Your stories encouraged me to write this book. You are all
Notes...................................................................................................155
true heroes, able to use your unique combination of gifts and talents
to overcome your challenges and limitations. Every day, you work in
superhero drive to achieve what your peers can naturally do, with ease.
You do not go unnoticed. You are not insignificant. You have what it
takes to Be Your Own Superhero ‑ the best version of yourself.

6 Tania A. Marshall I AM Aspien

girl ®
7
Introduction
AspienGirl®: \as-pee-en-ger-l\ ; AspienWoman :\ be self-diagnosed or formally diagnosed. Second, the
aspee-en-wo-man\ book is for those that support females on the Spectrum;
their family members, their carers, teachers or friends;
1. a young female from Planet Aspien®; an adult and thirdly, for professionals (teachers, preschool staff,
female from Planet Aspien® school counsellors, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists,
social workers, paediatricians), to become more familiar
2. a female with Asperger Syndrome; possessing with the common, and at times subtle, presentations
similar and different characteristics than a male and to possibly aid in screening and better diagnostic
with Asperger Syndrome processes.

3. a female with a differently wired brain I wrote this book to help spread awareness of
this unique set of personality traits, preferences,
Over the years, I have worked with hundreds of characteristics, strengths, challenges and other
females, of all ages, who have a stunning array traits. This book is the first in a series, designed
of gifts and talents, in addition to challenges. to contribute to awareness and education. On each
This particular group of individuals all have the page, you will find a quotation directly from
characteristic traits of Asperger Syndrome or High an AspienGirl® that illustrates a characteristic
Functioning Autism. Many of them have discussed or trait, a photograph illustrating the trait and
feeling different, alone, from another planet, or era, lastly, a quotation from a parent, teacher,
hence the term Planet Aspien®. The use of terms, for family member or professional. Each picture
example “AspienGirl®” are used affectionately and has two different voices that both describe each
serve as an identity for a group of females who feel characteristic and contribute to making a powerful
isolated on populous planet Earth. visual description. Occasional quotes may be from
AspienWomen reflecting on their younger years.
Many individuals have expressed an interest in a
book such as this; from the individuals themselves to The traits in this book are not reflective of every
carers, parents, school personnel to professionals. person on the Spectrum and not every individual will
have every characteristic listed. The words “aspie”,
This book was written for three kinds of readers. First, “aspire”, “autie”, “aspiengirl”, “aspienwoman”,
I wrote this book for females, who themselves may “aspergirl”,“asperwoman”, and others are all terms
identify with some or all of the characteristics; who may used affectionately within the Autism Community.

I AM Aspien
girl ®
9
 Acknowledgements
Research on the Autistic female profile is very Whilst the DSM-5 now refers to the term Autism
new, and as such, can be many years behind Spectrum Disorder, the term Asperger Syndrome is
clinical and anecdotal observations. The female still used in every day communication, within the
profile is a relatively new concept and field of Autism community, and by some professionals, and is
research, and as such, many of the characteristics not likely to disappear, nor should it, for it would be a
that are seen in clinics, inpatient and outpatient loss of identity in addition to ignoring the uniqueness No book comes to fruition on its own. I would like to acknowledge the following people’s contributions. This
settings, schools, written about in blogs and of the Asperger profile. So, with this all in mind, amazing group of females are trailblazers in their own right and I am most grateful to have their support. I
books, have yet to be confirmed by solid research. please enjoy the visuals, quotes and sometime would now like to acknowledge some extraordinary women who made it possible for this book to be read.
There is a great need for research that focuses humorous look at this unique group of females, of
on the female profile and includes females on the which there are millions around the world, who can Dr Judith Gould, thank you for writing the Foreword to this book and for your invaluable knowledge,
Spectrum. and do make significant contributions to humanity. experience, expertise and feedback.

Dr Temple Grandin, thank you for reviewing my book and for shining your bright light wherever you go. I am
most grateful to have your support in such an important endeavor and project.

Dr Shana Nichols, thank you for providing a testimonial for this book and for your important feedback,
expertise, knowledge and insight.

Dr Jennifer Imig Huffman, thank you for your valuable advice and support. You are a diamond in the rough!

Thank you to all the girls, teens and their families, friends, carers and professionals for sharing their
experiences and allowing me to showcase the unique characteristics, in their own words.

I would like to thank the amazing AspienGirl® Mentors Honey Parker and her mother Olley Edwards, Iris
Grace and her mother Arabella, Lydia Tay and Maja Nilsson, for agreeing to showcase their talents and act
as mentors of inspiration for other young females on the Spectrum.

I would like to thank the following people for perusing my drafts and providing me feedback: Dr Amanda
Webster, Jeanette Purkis, Renee Salas and Julie Clark.

Last and certainly not least, I would like to thank Kylee Legge of the Publishing Queen
(www.thepublishingqueen.com) for her professionalism, support, editing and assistance in this process.

10 Tania A. Marshall I AM Aspien

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Testimonials
I am Aspien Girl® is an exciting and timely book for girls on the spectrum! It is about time that the field
of Autism pays attention to the needs of females on the spectrum and what a beautifully composed
compilation of the unique female Autism experience.

For years, the field of Autism has been dominated by a focus on how the condition impacts boys. The
research, assessments, diagnostic criteria and treatments were designed with a predominate bias toward
the male model of Autism. Now it is time for the girls with Autism to have a voice. Females on the Autism
spectrum do not develop or present with symptoms of Autism in the same ways as boys; however, the
impact on their functioning is just as significant as it is for boys.

In her book, Tania Marshall raises the flag for awareness of females with Autism spectrum. She gives
voice to the experiences of girls on the spectrum and their family members through a combination of
exquisite pictures and beautiful quotes from children, families, and professionals who live and work with
females on the spectrum.

For those impacted by Autism and for those who diagnose or treat this condition, this book is a must read
and own. It will be an invaluable resource to educate professionals and families on the unique traits and
gifts of girls on the spectrum. I plan to use it as an intro to Aspergers tool when I explain the diagnosis to
parents. I’m excited to have this to show parents so they understand the symptoms and condition better.

For parents of girls on the spectrum, congratulations! You have in front of you an invaluable resource for
educating your daughter on some of the more common traits of girls on the spectrum. As each child on the
spectrum is different, I recommend sharing this book with your daughter and discussing with her the pages that
remind her of herself and the ones that do not. This will help to recognise her unique experience and provide
an opportunity to problem solve her areas of concern while highlighting her strengths and unique perspective.

Thank you Tania Marshall for giving a voice to females with Autism spectrum; their families, the children
affected by this condition, and the field of Autism spectrum, particularly those who work with females on
the spectrum, owe you a debt of gratitude.
Dr Jennifer Imig Huffman –
Parent and Professional

I AM Aspien
girl ®
13
Where was this book when I was a child?! I related so very closely practically page-for-page. I even got a One of the brightest building blocks contributing to the emergence of a sisterhood of females on the
tear in my eye when I thought of the very lucky girls who will grow up being understood and appreciated. Autism spectrum and those who support and love them. I Am AspienGirl® is a true gift to the community.
Priceless. This is a much-needed book and you hit the nail on the head. It’s a book that makes you think.
And it’s a book written by a Professional extolling the positives and the gifts. Rare indeed! What a gem Dr Shana Nichols –
you’ve got on your hands! Clinical Psychologist and founder of ASPIRE Center for
Learning and Development in New York, USA
Renee Salas – Leading Author of Girls Growing Up on the Autism Spectrum
Author of Black and White: A colorful look at life on
the Autism Spectrum An imaginative book with a positive message for girls with Autism or Aspergers.

Dr Temple Grandin –
Author of The Autistic Brain
I love the quotes throughout the book. They show a real life experience and remind the reader of your
intense professional experience! Great idea.
Thank you so much for sending me your wonderful book. I think it is great, and fulfils a real need to
raise awareness about women on the spectrum. There is an urgent need for more research with women
Olley Edwards –
and girls on the Autism spectrum. We don’t yet know how much current diagnostic criteria and processes
Director of the Kindest Label and Author of
disadvantage females and whether those undiagnosed suffer in silence or manage to compensate
Why Aren’t Normal People Normal?
effectively. Raising awareness of Autism spectrum conditions in females is an important first step, which
this book achieves while reflecting the great diversity of experiences and opinions in this complex area.

Dr Francesca Happé, Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience, Director & Head of Department,

This book is so beautiful; literally and figuratively. The colours and images are both pleasant and
President, International Society for Autism Research (INSAR), MRC Social, Genetic &
effective. The content brought so many memories of my own daughter’s younger years back to life. It was
Developmental Psychiatry Centre, UK
as if someone stepped back in time and observed her. One thing this book does is emphasise the fact
that many girls on the Autism Spectrum are empathetic creatures. So many do not believe “autism” and
“empathy” can coexist in one individual. I assure you, they can. Also, each AspienGirl® is unique, and I just looked through your wonderful book. It is excellent! I think it adds a lot of value to the available
Tania does a fantastic job illustrating and underscoring that point. Some girls love to be a princess while information on girls and Autism. I think that parents of girl Aspies and Auties will find it very helpful
others want anything but. Some are social, others are not. This book will challenge you to step away (and probably girl Aspies and Auties themselves will too!). Through quotes from AspienGirls and their
from the boys and view girls on the Autism Spectrum without distraction. They are unique beings who families, teachers and carers, artworks and imagery, I am AspienGirl® paints a vibrant picture of what life
deserve to be understood in their own light. Thank you, Tania, for a practical yet sensitive resource for is like for girls with Asperger Syndrome. The book focuses on the often overlooked and misunderstood
AspienGirls, their caregivers and professionals who support them. female profile of Asperger Syndrome and Autism. This book will be of interest to parents of AspienGirls,
clinicians working with them and girls or women with Asperger Syndrome themselves. This is an
Julie Clark – accessible and valuable addition to the literature on Autism.
Author of Asperger’s in Pink Jeanette Purkis –
Author of The Wonderful World of Work: A Workbook for Asperteens

14 Tania A. Marshall I AM Aspien

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15
Foreword
Dr Judith Gould ness’ has to be acknowledged by everyone living and
Consultant Clinical Psychologist and Director of working with them. A sympathetic ‘mentor’ in the education
the NAS Lorna Wing Centre for Autism, UK system can make or break a young girl’s future. As profes-
sionals we need to be informed about the way young women
The term AspienGirl®, as the title of Tania Marshall’s
think and perceive the world. This book gives us this
book is very appropriate and reflects what girls in the
insight. Tania Marshall’s way of describing the strengths
Autism spectrum often say: that they feel they are from a
and pitfalls for females on the spectrum using pictures and
different planet.
photographs is much more meaningful than words alone.
The rationale for this book is to address awareness of fe- These visual presentations will give guidance to profession-
males with Autism or Asperger Syndrome who are often als when explaining the diagnosis as this type of presenta-
misdiagnosed and receive inappropriate interventions or tion makes more sense to a girl on the spectrum.
who are simply not diagnosed. The book also emphasises
The book is divided into sections with delightful visual
advocacy for this group with their unique needs and
presentations covering all aspects of daily life, play,
challenges, education about the female profile and the
social interaction, language and communication, sensory
differences between males and females.
and emotional needs, together with strengths and chal-
For professionals working in this fascinating field the lenges in all these areas.
comments and statements of the girls and their parents
Five important needs of AspienGirls are highlighted which
are illuminating, clever and often funny. They highlight
remind us of the uniqueness of each individual and how
the obvious and not so obvious subtle differences in the
we as professionals and parents should accommodate
way Autism is manifested in females. This has special
them. The appendices give further useful information on
significance when considering a diagnosis. The core dif-
commonly observed traits and characteristics of girls, how
ficulties in Autism are the same for all individuals within
the book can be utilized by parents, carers, professionals,
the spectrum but there are gender differences and it is the
teachers and educational staff, “Aspiengirl Mentor” and
way these behaviours are manifested and interpreted that
“What I like about me” activity sheets, gender differences
is important. Many clinicians/diagnosticians still have a
from both research based information and clinical obser-
male stereotype of what behaviours constitute Autism and
vation, and lastly, Tania’s future projects.
dismiss girls and women because they do not fit this rigid,
narrow view. It is now time for change and the examples A final quote from a girl on the spectrum. “With the di-
given in this book constitute a major step forward in re- agnosis and the right support we Aspien Girls have been
thinking the diagnosis of females on the spectrum. known to soar…”
The emphasis throughout the book highlights the strengths This book is a must for everyone living and working with
and positive attributes of the females but their ‘different- girls on the Autism spectrum.
I AM Aspien
girl
®
17
 I am a girl with They said my brain is wired differently from
Asperger Syndrome most other people, and that I was born this way.
or High Functioning
Autism, an
AspienGirl®. I was
told I am unique,
have many strengths
and some challenges.

In our research, we have learnt

that there are many more females
on the Autism Spectrum than
previously thought and that the
She had this amazing array of super-abilities from very early on. She
gender statistics are more likely
closer to 2:1 (males to females). started to speak articulately and in sentences from the age of 18 months.
– Father of 4-year-old
– Mother of 6-year-old
18 TAnIA A. MArshAll I AM Aspien
girl ®
19
People often said I was “different”, “odd”, or “unique” I was often bored and wondered if I was adopted. I even
from early on. I assumed everyone thought like me. asked my mum that once. I asked her all kinds of questions.

I always knew something was different about her from very early on, not anything bad ... she is amazing, she is
different, unique, eccentric, intuitive and highly sensitive. She is often described by others as an ‘old soul’ and
She never wanted to do what we were doing. She was off pretending to be
I’m often told she has been here before. People have referred to her as odd and once she was described as from animals, fairies, unicorns, or superheroes of some kind, and she constantly
another planet … she even has a dialect of her own! – Parent asked me questions. – Mother of 5-year-old
20 Tania A. Marshall I AM Aspien
girl ®
21
 I was told I was My dad told me I was an out-of-
the-box thinker and I remember
reading chapter asking him, “What box?!” I loved
books before I had cardboard boxes!
started school.
They called it
Hyperlexia.
I remember that she talked and read quite I could never think of
early on and tended to take things literally. the ideas she comes up
We would say, “Look sweetie, we’re home.” with. She is mostly anti-
She would say, “No we are not, we are in conformist and very
the driveway!” Also, once at the zoo, we creative. One time I told her
said to her “Look honey, it’s a dinosaur”. that her imagination was
She replied with, “No it’s not, that’s a running away with her and
Triceratops!” She was two years old then. she said, “My imagination
That’s when we decided we were going to does not know how to run!”
find a psychologist that understood her.” – Teacher of 10-year-old
– Mother and Father
22 Tania A. Marshall I AM Aspien
girl ®
23
Our mother told us we are both AspienGirls, but we are I was often called the “Little Philosopher”. At school and at home for a long time it
was remarked upon that I was ‘away with the fairies’ as I was a daydreamer. Mum
different from each other. would often say “Earth to Lynda” and it was a source of amusement along with my
‘lack of common sense’ and my constant asking of questions.

I wonder does everybody see the

same shade of blue when they gaze
at the sky?

I have three girls, all on the Spectrum and each is one different. The It’s like a tsunami of information coming at her. She says she cannot keep up with her brain. She is an
twins are a Tomboy and a Princess. My teen Aspien is a total Bookworm. introverted deep thinker. She craves knowledge and I really struggle to keep up with her.
– Father of 8-year-old
– Mother of three
24 Tania A. Marshall I AM Aspien
girl ®
25
 They tell me I I have never been able to sleep very well because my
brain doesn’t want to go to sleep.
worry too much
and I need to just
go and play.

A large part of my professional

work involves teaching girls
how to think in more helpful
ways. It’s a very important life
skill.
– Developmental/educational
She wants to go to sleep but she says her brain keeps talking to itself. Just last night
psychologist she said, “Mummy, my brain told me a story”. She really seems to have these nocturnal-
like kind of hours, especially when it’s a full moon. – Mother
26 TAnIA A. MArshAll I AM Aspien
girl ®
27
 Mum says I am 5 My head is so full it often hurts.
going on 30. She
says that means I
am not concerned
about the same
things that other
girls my age are.

My daughter often seems

like she is an adult, having
She has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, giftedness and learning
missed childhood altogether.
difficulties. She often says she wishes her brain had an ‘off’ button. She is
– Mother just like her aunt. They said it was hereditary. She won’t let them or us help
her. She needs to learn to ask for help. – Parents
28 Tania A. Marshall I AM Aspien
girl ®
29
 I hate making mistakes. My parents think I need
Why can’t I get it the first time? to see a psychologist.
I told them I’m not
going to see yet another
shrink who isn’t going
to help me.

She is very strong-willed and is not

motivated by her peers’ opinions,
although now as a teenager she
appears to be quite aware of
her peers’ perceptions. She has
transitioned through many stages in
search for an identity. She refuses to
see another psychologist who doesn’t
She is perfectionistic and way too understand the unique perspective of
harsh and critical of herself. girls on the spectrum. – Mother
30 Tania A. Marshall – Uncle I AM Aspien
girl ®
31
Further Projects Future Titles
The AspienGirl® and AspienWoman Mentor The AspienGirl® Project was created to address
Project and Interview Series was created due to several issues:
the lack of information about successful females on What traits and gifts make this group of women so unique and often
the Spectrum and their innate strengths. I have been Awareness: Females have Autism or Aspergers, ipsumqui volut ut
misunderstood? I Am AspienWoman helps those with or those working with
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152 TAnIA A. MArshAll Releasing soon in French, Italian, Spanish, Norwegian, German, Hungarian, Dutch, Chinese and Brazilian Portuguese.
About the Author Notes
Tania Marshall is a psychologist and author with 20
years of experience in the field of child and family
psychology, Autism, Asperger Syndrome and related
conditions, giftedness, Twice-Exceptional, Genius and
Savant Syndrome and highly sensitive individuals.

She is currently working on her Doctoral Degree, with

a specialisation in Autism Studies, in particular Female
Asperger Syndrome. She currently divides her time
between private practice, diagnostic assessments, post-
diagnosis support, intervention, writing and research.

Please go to www.aspiengirl.com and make sure you

sign up for our newsletter. You can also stay up-
to-date with the book series, The AspienGirl® and
AspienWoman Mentor Project and Interview Series,
The AspienGirl® Project Webinar Series, tips, resources,
blogs, and more! To contact Tania for assessments,
workshops, presentations, book signings or remote
Skype consulting, please email her at
tania@aspiengirl.com

For more information:

W: www.taniamarshall.com
W: www.aspiengirl.com
T: www.twitter.com/TaniaAMarshall
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154 TAnIA A. MArshAll I AM Aspien

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Have you ever wondered why she says she feels different to her peers? Wondered why An imaginative book with a positive message
life seems challenging for her? Her peers seem to gracefully and naturally meet their for girls with Autism or Asperger Syndrome.
milestones, yet she has reached some developmental milestones early and some late.
She may have spoken and read early, asking an endless array of questions. Maybe Dr Temple Grandin,
at age four she was teaching herself to read as you drove down the road by reading Author, The Autistic Brain
street signs. She may have been an overly active child, had sensory issues, or had a
speech delay. One of the brightest building blocks
You knew she was bright from early on, with a sprinkle of some anxiety, social and contributing to the emergence of a sisterhood
eating issues, yet the professionals just cannot find an explanation that completely fits of females on the autism spectrum and those
her. She may be very artistic, whether she sings, draws, paints, or writes, at times, too who support and love them. I Am AspienGirl®
mature for her age. Yet, she struggles socially and emotionally, acting and appearing is a true gift to the community.
younger than her peers. She may be ten years old now, yet none of your research com-
pletely fits her or maybe you have just now come across some information on females Shana Nichols, PhD, Leading Author of
that completely makes sense to you. Girls Growing Up on the Autism Spectrum
Maybe she is “Aspien”, a young female with Asperger Syndrome or High-Functioning
There is an urgent need for more research
Autism. She has a unique constellation of super-abilities, strengths and challenges.
with women and girls on the autism spectrum.
She may feel or say that she is from another Planet, Planet Aspien®. If you are looking
Raising awareness of autism spectrum
for a book on the often perplexing and unique female Autism Spectrum traits, then
conditions in females is an important first step,
this is the book for you. Watch for “I am AspienWoman”, coming soon.
which this book achieves while reflecting the
great diversity of experiences and opinions in
“Not your average this complex area.

superhero”
Dr Francesca Happe, President, International
Society for Autism Research (INSAR)

Tania Marshall, MSc is an author and

psychologist with 20 years experience
in the field of Autism Spectrum Con-
ditions, including Asperger Syndrome.
She works with Girls and Women with
Asperger Syndrome or High Function-
ing Autism on a regular basis.

Tania spends her professional time

divided between private practice, re-
search, and writing. She looks forward
to releasing the next instalment in her
AspienGirl® series. www.aspiengirl.com