emma's Reviews > The Cruel Prince

*clears throat*

Excuse me, uh. Who cares?

This is not a rhetorical question. I truly want to know. I read this whole ass book and I am still at a complete loss for something, anything, to care about. Not a plot point, not a character trait, not a single line of quirky banter I could get myself emotionally invested in.

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This is a book about fairies and it was a trial for me to get through. Me, a person who loves fairies so much she spent her entire third grade year absolutely convinced, in a non-ironic manner, that she was one.

It doesn’t get much more dream audience for this book than me. And I couldn’t give two sh*ts, or one sh*t, or even a fraction of a sh*t, for so much as a moment. So. Who among you was able to pull off such a feat?

Okay, to be fair, maybe I’m not the dream audience. Holly Black and I have a rocky past. I grew up on the Spiderwick books (well, mostly the Field Guide, which I used as a means of learning about my own species. See the above “I thought I was a fairy” admission). But The Coldest Girl in Coldtown is one of 9 books I’ve DNFed in my entire goddamn life, and The Darkest Part of the Forest was another snoozefest.

I like character-driven stories. I like slow books with beautiful writing. But I don’t like Holly Black characters, and I don’t love Holly Black’s writing, and basically all of her books put me to sleep every time. And also make me feel like I’m reading the exact same book over and over. Seriously, they all read the same. Including Spiderwick, which is shocking because that 1) is middle grade and 2) has a good deal less sexual tension than a lot of her other stuff.

Anyway.

This book was so, so boring.

Nothing really happens until past the 200-page mark, and by then everything is so silly and ridiculous that I was mostly along for the ride. What, you say? More of the synopsis is out the window? We’re just deleting more character development from our brains? Delightful.

Because, again, who cares.

I know a lot of people love this book because they love Jude. I don’t know why they love Jude. Is she supposedly “strong” or “powerful” or “badass” or one of those words we assign to characters when there isn’t much to describe? Because I’m not seeing anything to fall in love with.

I know a lot of people love this book because they love Cardan. I know exactly why they love Cardan. It is because he is one of three or four YA boy character archetypes that draw in blatant adoration (and delightful fan art) from readers WITHOUT. FAIL.

Basically, here are the acceptable YA male traits. You pick a combination of these, and you have your flat, uninteresting, repeat character.
- handsome OR beautiful OR hot
- funny OR mysterious OR charming
- banter-y OR bully-y OR flirty

And that’s it. I often like the handsome/funny/banter-y archetype. From time to time, I’ll enjoy a hot/charming/flirty one.

I always, always, always hate the beautiful/mysterious/bully-y one. I hated Will Herondale, and boy oh boy do I hate Cardan.

And I know a lot of people love this book because of the plot and the world. But the plot to me was nonexistent, because for 200 pages this book largely made me drag myself through it, with no action or momentum to pull me along. And the world is just Every Holly Black Book But With A Slight Twist, Maybe. And that world hasn’t worked for me since I was nine and thought myself a resident, my dear boy.

Bottom line: I guess the thing with Holly Black is that if one book works for you, they all will. But baby, that goes both ways!

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pre-review

this book is...lame.

review to come!!!

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currently-reading updates

buddy reading this with lily and may and we are definitely all thriving and having a good time. no rage or boredom involved at all

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tbr review

just received official word that i WILL be excommunicated from goodreads if i do not have this book on my shelves