Brave in Capital City: Capital City

Preface

Disclaimer: This book contains sensitive subject matter, including references to suicide and its emotional aftermath. While these themes are handled with care and empathy, they may be triggering for some readers.

Chapter 1

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Is this seriously where Cal lives? She’s practically on the water. From here, I can see the frozen, serene expanse of Capital City Lake just a few blocks away. Wow, not bad, sis!

I pull into the parking lot of the clean, white, modern-looking six-storey apartment building with huge windows. Excitement creeps in. This is the fresh start I need. No chance of running into Jamie in grocery stores or catching his shadow on every street corner here. I don’t see Cal’s car in the lot. She did warn me she had a last-minute election-year kick-off meeting or something, which is why she already gave me a spare key over the holidays.

I enter the building without issue. The décor has kind of a beachy Mediterranean feel to it. Cal said her flat was on the ground floor, so I walk past the elevators and down to the end of the corridor, then unlock the door to apartment six.

I push it open to reveal a bright, good-sized open-concept flat that smells like I’ve just entered a spa. The kitchen is immediately to my left, where I notice a pile of dirty dishes marinating in the sink. I place my purse down on the kitchen island and close the door behind me. I slip off my boots and make my way further into the apartment. Wow, I love the floor-to-ceiling windows—it almost feels like I’m in a fishbowl, but in a good way.

I move toward the hallway and open the first door to my left. It’s a windowless room with a futon couch that’s folded down into a bed. There’s a small desk and chair that look like they were bought at IKEA, with a desk lamp. This must be my room. I open the closet. Well, this is large, proportional to the room. I laugh. Looks like Cal is storing some bits and bobs in here, but it’s mostly empty.

I go back into the corridor and open the door across the way to find a large bathroom. Is that a jacuzzi tub? Oh, I’m going to have some killer baths in there!

An old memory with Jamie washes over me. It was our three-year anniversary. He rented us a cottage with a jacuzzi tub overlooking the lake. It was such a romantic night. The moon was full, reflecting perfectly off the water, gently illuminating our little love nest. We lit a bunch of candles around the tub, drank champagne, and made love among the bubbles.

I hit a wall at the reality of his absence in my life. Sharp pangs stab at my heart, like somebody is lashing at it with a whip. I thought we were going to be together forever.

I look at myself in the mirror. My dull, sapphire-colored eyes stare back at me. My chocolate-brown hair is pulled up in a messy bun. I look down at my stained university hoodie in disgust. No wonder he dumped you.

I wipe a tear away from my cheek. Missing him isn’t going to bring him back. It’s over. We’re done. He’s got a new girlfriend now. You need to just move on with your life, Birdie.

I turn around and walk through the other door and into a huge bedroom with—is that a real fireplace? This place is incredible. I look out the floor-to-ceiling windows toward the water in the near distance. This is my new beginning.

I notice that one of the windows is actually a sliding door. Sweet. I can bring my stuff through there rather than walk all the way around the building.

Within ten minutes or so, I’ve brought all of my bags and the few boxes that I packed into my shoebox of a bedroom. My heart is heavy. I can’t shake the pain as I’m bringing things out of boxes and finding a home for them. Everything reminds me of him.

The wine is dulling the pain a little, at least. I take a thirsty sip of the boxed wine I bought on my way here.

DING!

Cal Text: Hey! I’m stuck in this meeting, I’m sorry I’m not there! Did you get in okay?

Surprise, surprise. I don’t know why she ended up working for that asshole again. He’s already taken over her life, just like he did last time.

Text Cal: I’m in. This place is incredible! I’m just unpacking some stuff now. When do you think you’ll be home?

Send.

I finish unpacking my things. I didn’t bring a ton of stuff. I’m not sure how long I’m going to be staying in Capital City. Cal says I can stay as long as I want.

I walk into the