Boy Erased: A Memoir

tale of a young man who, as a result of his homosexuality, is targeted by fundamentalist Christians. That his parents approved of this treatment is the saddest part.

Garrard Conley is gay and finally comes out to his parents. His father is a Baptist minister. He grew up in a strict, but loving home. His parents send him to a Tennessee program called "Love in Action" a gay conversion program. Garrard is sometimes able to stay with his mother in a motel when she visits. He tells her of the program. In time, his parents come to realize the program isn't working and they must accept him as he is.

The heartbreaking memoir of a boy who is sent to a conversion therapy camp to be taught about the evils of homosexuality. The "pray away the gay" mentality causes unbelievable damage to the people in the program. The memoir itself is slow moving. My book club selected this one and although I hate hearing about the pain the author went through trying to understand his sexuality in relation to his faith, it was good to learn about his experience to better understand the struggles so many others have faced.

It's easy to see why this story would make a good movie, but I have not seen the movie. Although I appreciate Garrard Conley's story, I didn't love the book. This “pray away the gay” movement infuriates me, and this glimpse into what happens in one of these programs is enlightening and disturbing. The movement seems to have lost steam, although I wonder if it is gaining steam again under today's too conservative bent. Mr. Conley was honest and forthright, but the book didn't touch my heart the way I expected it to. Once out of the program, he seemed to minimize what is happening in his life now. Still, an interesting and sad story.

Conley's book is jolting, enlightening and inspiring. He adeptly tackles a timely issue and explores it in a riveting way. I do agree with some reviews that suggest the narrative gets a bit disjointed at times. But it's an important work that provides many valuable insights.

I've often struggled with understanding how fundamental faith, and religion an play a part in a gay man's journey. I haven't personally had to deal with these factors, and so haven't ever understood that level of shame.
This memoir, in its beautiful prose, opened a door into the mind of a young man struggling with just that. How do you come to terms and love yourself for who you are without losing your relationship with God. Especially when everyone is telling you that God will not love you if you accept this part of yourself.
This memoir was haunting, and horrible, and devastating, and beautiful. Conley is a wonderful writer, and was able to capture the conflicts of his mind and heart in a pure and raw way that allowed me as a reader to feel every ache, and doubt with him.
I think this is an important memoir, and one that needs telling. While it may no longer be as widely recognized, conversion therapy exists still today, and Conley's epilogue alone is proof of the long lasting, potentially permanent, damage it can do to someone.
This is not an easy memoir to get through and it certainly took a toll on me while reading. Yet, regardless of how hard it was, I felt it necessary. Certainly necessary for different reasons for different readers. For me, it allowed me to understand a part of my own community that I didn't before. For someone struggling with religion and their sexuality, it an help them to see someone else going through the same struggle, feeling the same things. Amid, other important take away's for other readers I'm sure.
It's important to tell as many of our communities stories as possible to show the wide range of human soul's these prejudices impact.
There were so many times that I wanted to scream, to cry, to reach out and take Garrard by the shoulders and promise it will be ok.
This book got to me. I think, if you read it, it will get to you too.

Beautifully written, but meandering and a bit dull. I am not sure why I didn't feel pulled in or broadened by this. I feel saddened by the damage to this man and his family caused by faulty theology and faultier psychology, and I can feel the memoirist's pain, and his sense of catharsis in writing. Still I wasn't drawn in. I think I needed to understand his parents better as people, not in relation to him, to get a handle on what happened but I am not sure. Maybe I was just the wrong reader?

This is one of the most devestating, beautifully-written books I've read in a long time. Boy Erased is an incredibly revealing look at Garrard Conley's experience growing up in fundamentalist Christianity, his rape and subsequent outing to his parents, and his time spent in conversion therapy.

There are some big things that really struck me about the book and have kept me thinking about it long after I finished reading it.

Firstly, the sheer honesty of this book. I commend Conley for how open he is throughout this book and the extent to which he is willing to be vulnerable on the page. It makes the book so powerful.

Secondly, the overall feeling of the book. With the subject matter covered, it would be so easy for book to be angry or resentful. Ultimately, though, Conley writes with a great deal of compassion and love. In a lot of ways, the book mirrors what can be the experience of growing up with fundamentalist Christianity: an uncomfortable and confusing juxtaposition of love and hurt.

Finally, there's the form of conversion therapy depicted in the book. While there are some forms out there that use electroshock, for example, the type shown in Boy Erased is mainly based on talk, acting things out, or drawing family trees. It's not the dramatic type that we often see portrayed in popular culture, but its effects are absolutely devastating.

And I think it's that last factor that is the most powerful, especially in this political climate. There are a lot of harmful things worked into political platforms, and advocated by politicians and religious leaders. It's worked right into our culture, it's insidious, and it's something that we all need to be aware of.

I would also be remiss if I didn't mention the absolutely beautiful writing style. This book is hard to read but also completely beautiful at the same time. Highly recommended.

At times I wanted to just hold him, to create a safe place for him. Compelling, I listened through the first half of the book on a long day. I had to take a break and process my feeling as well as how I thought the book may end.