Online Grieving

A semester project from Spring 2017 written by Line Boye Danielsen and Nanna Dam Petersen from Aalborg University.  (Draft: In the process of being re-written into a paper).

This project explores how the death of fictional queer character Lexa had an impact on queer female fans and how being part of Clexa Fandom help fans in expressing and developing their social identities.

The aim of the present paper is to two fold. First, to explore the emotion of grief by reviewing the most prominent approaches that have attempted to understand it, and secondly to explore the modernized ways of mourning through social media. Since the advent of technology and newer forms of digital platforms the utilization of networking sites have significantly increased. This has set the tone for the present discussion since interacting with the internet especially through social media have become an integral part of every individuals lifestyle.  Social networking sites have become a common site for reaching out to others for a sense of support and connection - it has also become a site to express grief and bereavement. The present paper attempts to bring together existing literature on how digital spaces have proven to be extraordinarily therapeutic for grieving individuals. The commentaries and studies swing between conflicting forms of evidence - on the one hand, grieving through social media is pointing to becoming a formalized death ritual in the 21st century, while on the other hand highlighting certain morbidities that expressions on social media prove to be, which seem to trivialize the very emotion of grief. While the sincerity of such forms of expression continue to be questioned, the reality of mourning through digital platforms must be acknowledged.

This study examined mediatized death and emotion, specifically parasocial grieving, toward high-profile celebrity Stephen Hawking's death from a global perspective. A thematic analysis of public tweets explored how social media mourners expressed parasocial grieving following Hawking's death and how that shaped mediatized global flows of emotion in terms of digital affect culture. Findings showed varied forms of mediatized emotional responses associated with parasocial grievings, such as sadness, shock, confusion, love, and longing. Mourners also adopted varied coping mechanisms, including individualized tributes, reminiscing, memorializing, and advocacy. Findings suggested that Hawking's mourners performed parasocial death rituals on Twitter as a legitimate public space of mourning. Findings contribute to parasocial grieving scholarship and mediatization of death and emotion.

Beitrag zur Ad-hoc-Gruppe »Sterben und Tod als (ent-)routinisierte Krisen?« – organisiert von Antje Kahl und Nicole Sachmerda-Schulz

»Leibesfrucht«, »Kind«, »Prinzessin« oder »Zellklumpen«. Bereits diese kleine Auswahl von Bezeichnungen verdeutlicht, wie unterschiedlich das Ungeborene konstruiert werden kann und wird. Endet eine Schwangerschaft vorzeitig mit einer Fehl-oder Totgeburt, stehen diese Vorstellungen des Ungeborenen in Wechselwirkung mit der Art, wie über es gesprochen wird, wie praktisch mit dem toten Körper umgegangen und wie – worum – getrauert wird. In diesem Beitrag wird die Bedeutung des uneindeutigen Personenstatus des verstorbenen Ungeborenen für den individuellen Umgang mit einer Fehl-bzw. Totgeburt aufgezeigt. Ausgehend von der Frage nach der Spezifik der Krise, in der sich Betroffene nach einer Fehl-oder Totgeburt befinden können, zeigt die empirische Analyse von Beiträgen in einem Online Trauer-Forum, dass eine Krise, so die These, durch die genannte Uneindeutigkeit bedingt werden kann.

Many ways of dealing with death and grief currently become visible on the internet. In online cemeteries as well as in online forums, mourners seem to find new ways of expressing their grief. But which topics are discussed, in what way and who communicates within such portals? How relevant are these sites and what meaning do the virtual exchanges about experiences offer in the mourner’s perspective? The aim of our article is to clarify these questions on the basis of a content analysis of posts in a mourning forum and through qualitative interviews with its users. Results show that virtual graves as well as interaction with other bereaved people 1.) are especially important for those who do not feel accepted with their grief by their social environment, and 2.) to take the process of social, aesthetic and religious individualisation of mourning into account.

Im Internet sind gegenwärtig vielfältige Möglichkeiten der Auseinandersetzung mit Tod und Trauer sichtbar. Auf Onlinefriedhöfen ebenso wie in Trauerforen finden Trauernde scheinbar neue Ausdrucksmöglichkeiten. Wer aber kommuniziert in solchen Foren, über welche Themen und auf welche Art und Weise? Und wie stellt sich ihre Bedeutung im Prozess der Trauerbewältigung aus der Sicht von Trauernden dar? Ziel unseres Beitrags ist es, dies anhand einer Inhaltsanalyse von Trauerforumsbeiträgen und qualitativen Interviews mit ForennutzerInnen zu klären. Die Ergebnisse zeigen, dass virtuelle Grabstätten samt ihren interaktiven Austauschmöglichkeiten 1.) vor allem für diejenigen von Bedeutung sind, die sich in ihrem Umfeld mit ihrer Trauer nicht aufgehoben fühlen, und dass diese 2.) Prozessen der sozialen, ästhetischen und religiösen Individualisierung von Trauer Rechnung tragen.

The experience of death and grieving may be universal, but some people involved with death and grieving have needs that are not met in our proximate communities. Social and cultural norms around grief and grieving are not broken without repercussions and responses to death and grief are highly policed and regulated. What happens when one’s responses to death or expressions of grief do not follow the norms? Where does one find the means of expression, and the support of others? This paper will present findings that demonstrate that grieving online via pseudonymous weblogging can allow people to grieve without fear of repercussions, and simultaneously build supportive communities. The practice of online grieving is now a large part of the grieving process for internet users. My experiences as part of an online grieving community of women with dead children (Dead Baby Mamas, or DBMs), a subset of grievers who experience specific issues, many of which are not recognized or addressed by family, friends, or healthcare professionals. My participant observation research that found that DBMs blog whilst using a pseudonym and not telling their friends and family that they are blogging in order to create an outlet for grief that is labeled “inappropriate” or “unhealthy.” This Pseudonym + Concealment Combination, allows people to grieve in ways that flout social grieving norms without fearing repercussion, and connect with fellow grievers in the process. What can we learn about responses to death and expressions of grief from these findings? We can make recommendations about using the internet for grieving, but we also need to take seriously the experiences of people who do not fit the “normal” patterns of responses to death and expressions of grief. How do we meaningfully accommodate diverse ways of grieving, indeed of dying? Key Words: Online grieving, online anonymity/pseudonymity, grief blogging, grieving norms, grieving and diversity.

The experience of death and grieving may be universal, but some people involved with death and grieving have needs that are not met in our proximate communities. Social and cultural norms around grief and grieving are not broken without repercussions and responses to death and grief are highly policed and regulated. What happens when one’s responses to death or expressions of grief do not follow the norms? Where does one find the means of expression, and the support of others? This paper will present findings that demonstrate that grieving online via pseudonymous weblogging can allow people to grieve without fear of repercussions, and simultaneously build supportive communities. The practice of online grieving is now a large part of the grieving process for internet users. My experiences as part of an online grieving community of women with dead children (Dead Baby Mamas, or DBMs), a subset of grievers who experience specific issues, many of which are not recognized or addressed by family, friends, or healthcare professionals. My participant observation research that found that DBMs blog whilst using a pseudonym and not telling their friends and family that they are blogging in order to create an outlet for grief that is labeled “inappropriate” or “unhealthy.” This Pseudonym + Concealment Combination, allows people to grieve in ways that flout social grieving norms without fearing repercussion, and connect with fellow grievers in the process. What can we learn about responses to death and expressions of grief from these findings? We can make recommendations about using the internet for grieving, but we also need to take seriously the experiences of people who do not fit the “normal” patterns of responses to death and expressions of grief. How do we meaningfully accommodate diverse ways of grieving, indeed of dying?

Key Words: Online grieving, online anonymity/pseudonymity, grief blogging, grieving norms, grieving and diversity.