Freie Universität Berlin
Department of Political and Social Sciences
Institute of Sociology
Is single womanhood perceived a deviation in
India?
A qualitative study
Submitted by
Astha Bhatt
In fulfilment of the requirements for the Master of Arts “Sociology –
European Societies”
First supervisor
: Dr. Tim Sawert
Second supervisor
: Prof. Dr. Heike Solga
Matriculation number : 5231533
Date of submission
: December 02, 2020
Email
: a27b85@gmail.com
Table of contents
Chapter
No.
Title
Page
no.
Chapter 1
Introduction
1
1.1
Background Information
1
1.2
Rationale and Significance of the study
3
1.3
Research Problem
6
1.4
Objective of the study
7
1.5
Implication of the study
7
1.6
Limitations of the study
8
Chapter 2
Review of Literature
10
2.1
Introduction
10
2.2
Understanding the concept of singlehood and its relevance as a social issue in 11
context of Indian society.
2.3
Review of literature
13
Chapter 3
Theoretical Framework
22
3.1
Theory of Singlism
22
3.2
Theory of social constructionism
25
Chapter 4
Research Methodology
28
4.1
Methodological Framework
28
4.2
Data source
31
4.3
Instruments of Data collection
31
- 4.3 (a)
Semi-structured interview
31
- 4.3 (b)
In-depth interview
32
Sampling Techniques
33
4.4
4.5
Methodology
34
4.6
Data Analysis
36
4.7
Ethical concerns
37
4.8
Limitations
38
Chapter 5
Results, discussions & Limitations
39
5.1
Results
39
5.2
Woman’s self-perception of their singlehood
39
- 5.2 (a)
Singlehood as trade-off
40
- 5.2 (b)
(Singlehood as means to free and independent life
41
42
- 5.2 (d) Singlehood is symbolic of contentment amongst women
44
5.3
- 5.2 (c) Singlehood means living alone but not lonely
Meaning attached to singlehood by society
45
46
- 5.3 (b) Singlehood as socially stigmatized identities
47
- 5.3 (c) Singlehood as ‘failure’
50
- 5.3 (d) Singlehood as a parameter for judgement.
52
5.4
- 5.3 (a) Singlehood as a personal deficiency
Coping mechanism
55
- 5.4 (a) Managing internal desire to marry
55
- 5.4 (b) Managing external pressure from family.
57
5.5
Discussion
59
5.6
Limitations of the current study
61
Chapter 6
Implications, Recommendations & Conclusion
63
6.1
Implications of the study
63
6.2
Recommendations
64
- 6.2 (a) Recommendations for future researches.
64
- 6.2 (b) Recommendations for establishing a positive identity of single women in India 65
6.3
conclusion
66
References
69
Tables and Appendix
Table 1 Demographic details of the participants
34
Table 2 Interview duration of Participants
35
Appendix
Interview questions
83
Participant’s demographic Details & consent form
85
A
Appendix
B
Abstract
Marriage and motherhood in Indian society delineates what womanhood should ideally be.
Women lacking such relationships beyond a certain age are therefore left out in a marginalized
and stigmatized state and are perceived differently from those who are married. This qualitative study rooted in grounded theory methodology attempts to explore and understand two
aspects: How women perceive their singlehood and how they experience and cope with
society’s perception of their single identity. Using theory of social constructionism and
singlism as theoretical framework, this thesis aims at explaining how a parallel status of single
women is constructed socially in relation to ideal types and how it makes women experience
stigmas and differential treatment from society which is distinct from their self-perception of
singlehood.
This study categorizes single women into four categories: widowed, divorced, never married
and ‘abandoned’/separated women. Nine single women between the age group of 35-60 years
were interviewed individually. From the data gathered it could be inferred that women have a
very positive perception of their singlehood but despite of their social and financial independence and success they are still viewed as failure by society and treated as a deviant identity for
which they have developed ways to cope with.
Chapter 1
INTRODUCTION
1.1 Background Information
One of the most phenomenal demographic changes in India that has been witnessed in the past
decades is the surging population of singles. The onset of globalization and liberalization in
mid 1990’s has not only transformed the economic system of India but has also impacted its
social edifice. Rooted in the complex process of globalization, age-old institutions of marriage
and family are under constant modification in many parts of the world, especially where
women are precipitously seeking an upward mobility and greater equality (Jiang & Gong,
2019). Single womanhood, an emerging trend in India, has the power to deal with and can
possibly change the course of action in coming times. The changing demographic trends highlighting delayed marriages and increased divorce rates have given a boost to the number of
men and women experiencing singleness. Especially for women being single has long been
associated with an anomalous normative femininity, embedded deeply into institution of marriage and embracing motherhood, has constantly put single woman under the light of being
deficit or deviant (Simpson, 2016).
As per Census of India 2011 the population of single women is 71.4 million which constitutes
the 12% of the total female population (Parmar, 2018; Dasgupta, 2018). In 2001 this figure
was 51.2 million, a remarkable 39% percent rise in a decade. Despite this increase, the
patriarchal set up of our society puts a question mark on their single status which leads to a
constant evoking of curiosity, stigmatisation and scoffing at extreme. However, it is quite surprising that single men do not have to undergo such scrutiny.
Source: Website India Tv.
1
Though with time there have been many issues related to women that have been raised and
discussed, many rules, laws and reforms were created in the past but these issues actually never
got resolved. Such a stature of women made them pay a high social cost for voicing their
opinions or disagreement with the community (Talbani & Hasanali, 2000). So, the country
which holds such a strong inclination towards marriage, makes it really difficult for single
women to establish their existence. As stated by Ms. Gandhi “Singleness is a socially and culturally constructed category, wherein the disadvantage is manufactured by virtue of the patriarchal societal setup.” (Gandhi, 2016; pg. 165) holds true for Indian society.
The status of a single woman has not always been under the lens of criticism and suspicion.
During the Vedic period, they had a very respectable position and enjoyed quite a high status.
A girl child was seen as a blessing and not an inauspicious offering. Getting married then was
not a mandatory obligation but was a choice for women – a choice to wait till they get a right
partner or choice to remain single forever. Such status and authority enjoyed by women
observed the decline post Vedic period.
Though the onset of the British rule in India opened new avenues for women to acquire education and seek work for themselves however, it could not really bring any transformation to the
already existing status of single women. In fact, single women became subject to more
exploitation not only due to the lower status ascribed to them by the society but also due to
lack of courage and reluctance amongst women for undergoing the reform. Along these lines,
in a nation where the establishment of marriage is viewed as consecrated and an ethical ritual,
the existence of such a significant number of single women, regardless of whether it was a
choice or due to circumstances, calls for a study.
As identified by the National Forum for Single Women’s Rights this study categorizes single
women in India into four categories: widowed, divorced, never married and ‘abandoned’/separated women (Gandhi, 2016; Parmar, 2018). Using a grounded theory approach the current
study was done to learn how women perceive their singlehood and how they experience and
cope with society’s perception of their single identity. Semi-structured telephonic interviews
were conducted with nine single Indian women aged between 35-60 years from different parts
of India. This study may also potentially be a medium to raise awareness of singlehood being
a legitimate lifestyle and that single women are as much part of society as married women.
There has also been an attempt to bridge the gap existing in previous studies for singlehood
2
amongst women between establishing singlehood as a social problem and various measures
and efforts for reinforcing the positive social identity of women.
This paper is divided into six chapters: Introduction, review of literature, theoretical framework, Research Methodology, Result analysis and conclusion. Introduction will give a
background about the current study, its significance, research problem, objectives, implication
and limitation of the study. Chapter two will give a brief overview of relevance of single
womanhood as social issue in context of Indian society followed by review of literature.
Chapter three will provide a theoretical approach to singlism theory and theory of social
constructionism. Chapter four focuses on research Methodology. Chapter five will be results
and discussions followed by chapter six that is the conclusion and suggested recommendations
for both future research and establishing a positive identity of single women in India.
1.2 Rationale and Significance of the study
In a country like India where the norm of collectivism is deeply rooted in its society, it is
difficult to put in words how important the institution of marriage is, particularly for women.
As Talbani & Hasanali mentions that communities or groups with such strong collectivistic
culture often observe arranged or early marriages because the fundamental purpose is not an
individual’s progress but preserving the community’s needs which acts as a strong foundation
for a political, social and economic union (Talbani & Hasanali, 2000). Marriage holds a critical
importance in India and is a shared culture across all caste, religion, ethnic groups that lays the
foundation for building up the basic unit of society – Family – by socially approving the physical union between man and woman (Nambi. S, 2005). It also demarcates the role allocation as
per the gender. A clear-cut demarcation can be observed in types of roles being assigned to
Men and women- Men are an active dominant member of the household as their role is to earn
money and run the household and women playing a passive role. Such stringent and
stereotypical role allocations put women in very dim light. No serious attention is being catered
to women related issues.
Singleness can be a conscious choice made by both men and women either by delaying marriage or to not get married at all for similar reasons (better education, career) or carrying out
their singlehood which were circumstantial. Nevertheless, singlehood amongst women carries
3
more negative approach compared to single manhood. Seen as outliers from conventional ascribed gender roles, single women are often stereotyped as “unhappy”, “immature”, “deviant”
and “incomplete” (Collins, 2013). Such contradictory standards become more vigilant in older
age cohorts because women who jump the mark of 35 years as single are believed to be devalued due to missing the most favourable time of getting married and producing children and
glorifies their inability to fulfil their ascribed role in nurturing.
There have been many researches in the past on the singlehood of women. But they mainly
focussed on single mothers, unmarried women, challenges faced by unmarried women, single
women’s view on financial securities and the social consequences of being single (Chasteen,
1994). However, the recent researches on single womanhood have shifted the focus to study
about the stigmas and stereo-types attached to singlehood, what kind of relationships do single
woman gets more involved into and singles seen as normal and healthy individuals respectively
(Buddeberg, 2011; Piatkowski, 2012; Shortell, 2008). There can be seen a gap being bridged
in the studies conducted on singlehood from presence of women experiencing stereotype and
discrimination for being single to studies exploring the impact of this discrimination and stereotyping on single women. However not much studies could be found that focuses directly on
how single women perceive their singlehood and how they experience and cope with society’s
perception of their single identity.
The various studies on single womanhood talks from the point of view of marriage. As per
study by Johnson and Susan comparatively to married women, single women adapt much better
to social and psychological transformations (Johnson and Susan, 1984). Few studies consider
that women’s want to remain single is the result of their desire to be perceived psychologically
and socially autonomous (Adams, 1976, Edwards and Hoover, 1974). Few studies also highlighted the problems faced by single women in society and since they are ruled out from
securing a high status in the society it makes them socially insecure. They feel insecure and
experience various mental conflicts and the agony of a lonely life, finding it difficult to live in
a society dominated by men (Krishnakumuri, 1987). Some social scientists have empirically
examined the phenomenon of singlehood as an alternative emerging lifestyle to marriage
(Glick, 1969; Duberman, 1974).
This study aims at exploring how difference in perception about singlehood between single
woman and society projects them as a deviant category and their behavioural responses to cope
4
with it. Also, the past studies have majorly focussed on the segments of unmarried women and
very few studies try to examine singlehood in general irrespective of whether it’s taken up as
a choice or due to circumstances. This study based on grounded theory aims to discover the
self-perception of women about being single in India and how they experience and cope with
society’s perception of their single identity.
Further the significance of studying the increasing population of ‘single women’ in India have
attracted major attention by the researchers. This marks a paradigm shift in Indian social
structure enrooted in the patriarchal set up with deeply engraved gender biasness amongst
women, especially the singles. It also gives a whole new direction to women's empowerment
wave as women are getting more vocal and responsive towards the existence and establishment
of their single status in the society and therefore contributing to the making of a more
modernized and progressive nation.
The findings of this study can also be significant for organizations and bodies who are dealing
with issues related to women as it could provide a better understanding and explanation of lived
experience of single women and can therefore be a medium to spread awareness about
stigmatization and discrimination faced by single women in India.
Also, further research and studies into the life of single women can be of utmost importance
for psychiatric/mental health sectors as the health nurses could have a better insight and understanding of woman having issues related to their singleness as numerous literature on
psychotherapy have highlighted how significant is the therapeutic relationship of understanding reality from the client’s perspective (Corey, 1986).
Present study could also be an attempt to fill the gap in existing literature of sociology on
women, marriage and family and can also be a means to understand the changing status of
single women and their own aspirations and expectations from society.
The study also has significance in terms of practical values. It has potential to suggest means
and ways through which single women’s life can be made socially more valuable.
5
1.3 Research Problem
Irrespective of social cultures and norms, marriage is considered as a common social norm
across all societies. In Indian society, women in their mid 20’s or late 30’s start getting
pressurized for marriage. Seeing the importance of marriage, the single identity of women gets
stigmatized and marginalized. Though this applies to both the genders but considered as weaker
and less powerful in society single women have to take the maximum heat (Situmorang,
2007). DePaulo & Morris initiated the focus on discrimination and prejudices by society that
single experiences by focussing on unmarried women who suffer from stigmatized, stereotyped
and marginalized social identity (DePaulo & Morris, 2005).
India has been observing an increase in the population of single women but despite this growth
marriage still is observed as one of the essential social requirements for attaining complete and
successful adulthood which on other hand makes single women feel pitied and deviant. Single
women are often viewed as some unattractive and incapable old maid who fails to attract men
or a highly educated, self-sufficient and career oriented urban single woman who does not need
a man as she is an independent woman (Situmorang, 2007).
One of the important markers for marriage is age. Age might differ from society to society but
if a woman does not get married after a certain age then the single person is seen as a failure
by society and therefore undergoes immense pressure from family and friends to get married.
Single women have not gained much attention in literature especially in India as singlehood
amongst women is still not seen as a social issue and therefore this gap needs to get addressed.
Single woman’s survival in a patriarchal society like India becomes a trouble who, either by
choice or circumstances, stands independent of a male dominance, support and backing. These
women who either choose to be or become single due to unavoidable circumstances see themselves surrounded by several drawbacks due to the social, cultural and to some extent the legal
and administrative setup of the Indian society and the meaning being attached to single womanhood. Since the country is viewing a rising pattern in the population of single women, it
becomes immensely significant to have an understanding of their experiences of remaining
single while they continue to be a part of a collectivist culture that considers marriage as the
basis of social life.
6
This qualitative study using grounded theory method aims at exploring the meaning attached
by women to their singlehood and how they experience and cope with society’s perception of
their singlehood. The research questions framed for this qualitative study are:
1) How do single women perceive their singlehood?
2) How do they experience and cope with society’s perception of their single identity.
1.4 Objective of the study
As it has been in the past, a woman's decision to stay single despite her right to liberty is seen
as a problem. Though the right to choose one’s status of staying independent of their male
counterpart has been granted a legitimate status however, is conditional. The longer the women
stay single, they are subject to more social stigmas. There is a strong need for a positive change
of mind-set in Indian society towards their perception of single womanhood. It therefore
becomes a necessity to examine how women perceive their singlehood and how they experience and cope with society’s perception of their single identity in order to make a framework
for establishing a positive single identity of women of India.
The main objectives of this study are as follows:
1) To explain how women perceive their singlehood.
2) To explain how they think their ‘single’ status is perceived by society.
3) To explore how single women cope with society's behaviour towards them.
1.5 Implications of the study
There have been few researches pertaining to single womanhood with prime focus on narrative
of single women about their single status (Bennett & Gaines, 2010), what kind of pressure is
inflicted upon single women for not conforming to traditional social norms of marriage , how
deep are the stereotypes of singlehood amongst women been internalized, how reluctant
women have become in terms of their behavioural pattern in response to these stereotypes,
defining a relation between women’s satisfaction level and self-concept of their single status
and behaviours related to group affiliation or disassociation due to singlehood (Benson, 2013
7
;Bennett & Gaines, 2010; Buddeberg, 2011; Larson, 2014; Pascoe & Richman, 2009; Piatkowski, 2012; Reynolds & Taylor, 2004; Sharp & Ganong, 2011)
Therefore, more in-depth studies are needed to explore how women perceive their singlehood
and how they think it is perceived by society and ways to cope with it. Such an approach can
be informative and meaningful for cohorts of women who are, were and want to be single. This
study can also contribute in gaining an insight into various measures that can support in fostering the establishment of a positive social identity of single women in India and other parts of
the world which are driven by traditional social setups.
Further this study can contribute by making people understand that being single is not a deviation & deficient identity but a legitimate life style through the challenges and the discriminations that’s being faced by a single woman in her daily normal life.
1.6 Limitations of the study:
The potential limitations of this study can be numbered as follows:
1. Lack of accuracy in the information being catered by the respondents.
2. The respondents could have shared incomplete information or not reveal the required details
due to personal choice.
3. Grounded theory may not be the best method for addressing the research questions.
4. This study does not cover the single women population in rural areas and women from
LGBTQ community and this might impact the result of the study.
5. Since it’s a qualitative study there are possibilities of study results being impacted due to the
biases of the researcher in data collection and analysis of the results.
6. Small sample size might have an influence on the result of the study.
7. The interviews were conducted during a coronavirus pandemic situation where India was
under complete lockdown. This could have impacted the mind-set of the respondents and therefore their responses as well. There are possibilities that the responses could have varied if the
conditions would have been normal.
8
8. Due to purposive and snowball sampling there are chances of sample biases.
9.There could be researcher biases as well.
10. Use of qualitative research methodology may not be the best methodology for this study.
The category of being ‘Single’ or ‘singleness’ in Indian society, is a social and cultural construction that is considered to be deviation from the societal norms created by virtue of the
patriarchal societal set up. Singleness is similar to the way gender is done to people. The institution of marriage is the central draft for the Indian society and actually requires strenuous
efforts to describe in a few words how deeply ingrained this institution is in Indian culture and
especially for women. Though women in general have to come across lot of discrimination in
India but it increases for women without a male support and regarded as anomaly
(Mukhopadhyay, 2016).
Though there are attempts being made to encourage singlehood amongst women as a
productive, positive social identity and a normal lifestyle choices but such studies are fewer in
context of Indian society and there has been a minimal research focussing on the
self-perception of single women of their singlehood and how they experience and cope with
society’s perception of their single identity. This chapter has been a summarization of what
singlehood amongst women means, furnishing rationale for undergoing this study along with
its significance and possible implications. Also, statements of the problem, objective of the
study, research problem and limitations of the study were also presented. Chapter two will
provide an overview of relevance of studying women's singlehood in the context of Indian
society which will be followed by a review of literature.
9
Chapter 2
Review of literature
2.1 Introduction
This chapter is divided into two parts. Fist part will be an explanation and understanding of the
concept of singlehood and its relevance as a social issue in context of Indian society followed
by the second part which will be the review of literature giving an insight into women
singlehood. It will primarily focus on incorporation of writings about singlehood, their strength
and weaknesses and an overview of prior studies in sync with the current study’s research
question along with the selective approach. This study tries to locate a gap in present literature
about women singlehood between singlehood presented as a social issue and attempts to
establish it as a positive identity for single women in society.
The benefits and advantages catered to people who are married becomes the breeding ground
for disliking and discrimination against single people. Increasing trend of singlehood has
caught the attention of researchers and there have been many studies centred around singlehood
and various attributes attached to it, mostly women being the point of attention. In India despite
of increasing population of single women, their statuses are still under scrutiny and viewed as
a ‘deficit identity’. Early acceptance of single identity is expected by these women while they
continue to live in society but at the cost of living a deficit lifestyle (Eck, 2013). Such a
discrimination by society puts a negative impact upon these single women and deteriorate their
quality of life, both socially and mentally therefore making them more prone to depression and
psychological distress (Pascoe & Richman, 2009).
Singlehood is viewed as a momentary and impermanent phase of life that an individual comes
across until he or she gets married. This transitory phase attributes some negative aspects like
lack of involvement, apathy, inefficiency etc. to singles, especially women (Lahad,
2012;2013). Married women have always been on a better front in comparison to those who
are single. There has been a marked difference at almost all parameters of life the way singles
are treated in comparison to those who are not. This qualitative study using grounded theory
attempts to bring into light perception of single women about their singlehood and how they
experience and cope with society’s perception of their single identity.
10
2.2 Understanding the concept of singlehood and its relevance as a social issue in context
of Indian society.
A regular reference of ‘single’ women in a dictionary is an unmarried adult female person.
Singlehood is certainly not a static, inflexible or homogenous class. It is permeable, a wide
range, and incredibly heterogeneous term. The regular word reference meaning of a 'single'
lady is a grown-up female individual who is unmarried. In India, the legal minimum age for
women to marry is 18 years but in urban areas woman generally get married between 22-25
years. The National Forum of India anyway convolutes the meaning of a single woman as a
'woman who isn't living with a man in a marriage like relationship' and incorporates widows,
separated and isolated women and unmarried women over the age of 35. There have been
researches that examined how heterosexual marriages and family life depicts the ideal course
for a successful life which by default marginalizes the people who fall out of this category and
are therefore prone to all sorts of differential treatments including discrimination, stereotyping,
mental and physical harassments financial break downs and so on (Budgeon, 2015).In India,
marriage is considered an important milestones that becomes necessary for both men and
women to achieve but much more for the latter. For men marriage specifically means to meet
their physical, personal and emotional ends but for women it turns out to be means for attaining
physical, financial and social security. Therefore, single women, either by choice or due to
circumstances, become susceptible to harshness and complexities due to structural and social
causes (Government of India, 2016).
However, it is true that acceptance of single women in Indian society has increased and is better
than what it used to be a decade back. Presently single women possess a better status which
encourages them to have better education and career and heading themselves to financial and
social independence. But the harsh reality is that today even after such independence, marriage
and child bearing are most likely to be the desired roles for women and any deviation from this
is unwelcomed by society. Not being under a male protection, single women are often tagged
as readily ‘available’ and are therefore more vulnerable to physical and sexual violence, social
resistance and economic abuse.
Since single women are mostly at the receiving end of several forms of injustice, this makes
them feel completely unworthy and unwanted in society. Such a social oppression and negative
11
approach from society makes them feel insecure and pity. A study by Kanchan Gandhi enumerates that there is an ideal age for women to get married which again is a social construction
and if women in India go beyond that age limit than they are denoted by society as “boodhi”
(old) or “Vaishya” (prostitute) (Gandhi, 2016).
As Gandhi stated “Society is profoundly troubled by women who survive—by choice or circumstance—independent of male control, support and patronage.” (Gandhi, 2016; Pg. 165) is
unfortunately a bitter reality of Indian society. However, in a patriarchal set-up this does not
apply to single men. This sort of biases has created a new class for women which are considered
as deviant with deficit identity as ‘single woman’.
In tradition driven societies like India where marriage is idealized, single status of women is
considered a deficit term as it is symbolic of “not being married”. Being single is now more or
less being used in reference with people who are not married and are said to be in a transitory
phase of life and about to get married in near future (Barr, 2015; Eck, 2013; Lahad, 2012;
2016). Though conservative societies like India are showing a progressive pattern and are
gradually coming to terms with women living a single life as her choice however, that choice
still is not viewed as normal and is found to be unfit as per social norms therefore
portraying single women as a symbol of dejection and inefficient in achieving womanhood.
(Barak, 2014; Lahad, 2013; Lahad, 2014)
In India, identity of women is essentially seen corresponding to a man, be it a father, brother,
husband or son, whom she is docile to and reliant for her endurance. Such an occurrence of a
woman’s existence has been witnessed through history till the present day therefore making
them an incredibly oppressed section of the human category in most parts of the world. In
India, the family structure considered ideal on social and cultural grounds is heteronormative
family structure hence making singleness a deviation from normal. Significant markers of a
woman’s dignity and existence are marriage and child-bearing which makes it more clear why
a single woman is seen as a ‘problem’ by both society and state. As stated by one of the respondents in her interview “Due to our singlehood status people think that we are easily ‘available’ by default.” Such a thought process undoubtedly makes single women more vulnerable
to sexual assaults and monetary exploitations. They become the victim of social oppression
and harassment and therefore make it difficult for them to establish themselves as part of the
society.
12
Singlehood therefore has an underlying stereotyping and discrimination against single individuals (Depaulo & Morris ,2005). The only ideal relationship accepted are the married couples
which therefore makes the identity of singles as ‘deficit and deviant’ (Reynolds & Taylor,
2004). This kind of categorization of single women becomes a social problem rooted in three
attributes: deficiency, compulsion, or choice, each highlighting her physical, emotional, mental
and physical inability to meet social norms (Barak, 2014)
2.3 Review of Literature
There have been many studies conducted on singlehood, single women, singlism etc. with quite
different perspectives. This section would review literature based on the following aspects
that’s been highlighted in various studies on singlehood amongst women: Importance of
marriage for women, stigmatization and stereotyping of singlehood and Studies on single
women with a quantitative approach.
Importance of marriage for women: The first and foremost highlighted feature in existing
literature that puts singles in a questionable space is importance of institution of marriage. It is
referred to as an institution since it comprises the essential rules of conduct that endeavour to
control and oversee social practices (Lauer & Yodanis, 2010). It serves as the foundation for
building up a family and therefore establishing its legitimacy through entitlements along with
duties and expectations that are socially approved. Talking about marriage as a civil right in a
way represents inequality amongst those who are entitled to these rights and protection due to
their marital status from those who are not (Marso, 2010). Similarly, it is stated that marriage
alliance is least likely to get involved in some criminal and anti-social activities therefore
benefiting the society and are further entitled for a reward. However, these perks and offers
should be denied to those who wish to remain single. (Flanders ,1996).
Marriage is an universal social institution for a reason that it ensures rights and privileges along
with defining roles and responsibilities that are inscribed by society in all the cultures (Karasu,
2007). And being backed by the legal system makes marriage even more mandatory for maintaining one's position and well-being in society (Essig & Owens, 2009) and therefore a legal
and legitimate measure for eligibility to avail public benefits (Abrams, 2012). The flag bearer
of calling marriage a citizen’s right are indirectly supporting the fact that people who do not
13
fall into this category should be deprived of civil rights and protections provided by government unlike those who are married and are by default entitled for it because of having a private
relationship (Marso, 2010).
A study by Byrne stated that only thing society observes in a woman is their marital status and
singlehood is always a topic of social discussion and inquisitiveness. Single women see
themselves as an exclusion from society and considering them as outsider society is always
critical of their single status irrespective of their financial and socio-economic status, age, education and other positive attributes. All they are concerned about is their singlehood which is
a social stigma (Byrne, 2000).
Karasu (2007) states that those who back institutions of marriage reason their action by
claiming that marriage is beneficial for society in totality and therefore the governmental
programmes are few such measures which are directed towards married people. The more the
belief in marriage is promoted, the more strongly the ideology of marriage is transformed into
a universal norm that is beneficial to all (Mulawka, 2013) and therefore laying down for emergence of a deviant group of ‘singles’.
In contrast to singles, people in a married relationship are entitled to various benefits at almost
all phases of their lives. Married people are seen as having advantages at individual, familial
and cultural levels (Conley, Moors, Matsick & Ziegler; 2013). There are many studies backed
by well-known media and research that expressed that marriage incorporates better psychological well-being (Braithwaite & Holt-Lunstad, 2017; Lodge & Umberson, 2014) therefore
putting singles in the category of low mental and psychological state of living and well-being.
Marriage has been socially accepted and accredited as a means to establishing a normal family
life (Chandler, 1991). Marital status has a positive affiliation with women more than men in
terms of one’s subjective well-being (Bookwala, 2012; Whisman, 2001). For women, due to
their gender, their actual accomplishment in life is said to be achieved once they are married
and become mothers. Marriage therefore may also be an actual representation of their means
to achieving fulfilment and self-contentment (Chandler, Kamo & Werbel ,1994; Schwartzberg,
Berliner & Jacob, 1995).
Indian society which is still driven by its old age patriarchal conventions and where customs
are profoundly embedded, a woman’s identity will always be known in relation to her men
14
counterpart. In many parts of India, single women are still not accepted as a part of society and
have to face a lot of mental harassment. In the present day, as well, widows are considered
ominous and are therefore not made part of any auspicious occasions or marriages whereas
unmarried ladies are seen as bearer of hard luck and considered uncharming. Their singlehood
serves as an invitation for several derogatory remarks like poor unlucky women who failed to
find love and companionship, unfit to be called a woman without becoming a mother etc.
(Mukhopadhyay, 2016).
Marriage being considered as the most soulful way to achieve womanhood (Baber & Allen,
1992), advancing and glorifying the importance and necessity of marriage as universally
accepted social ideology creates singlism and therefore putting singles in a completely unwanted category. A similar argument was put forth by DePaulo & Morris that ‘ideology of
marriage and family’ are centred around marital relationship and parenthood for having a blissful and meaningful life as an adult. Those who are single are the stigmatized group (DePaulo
and
Morris, 2005). Such an ideology has shaped the life course of single women as accountable for
being a deviation from social norms. If researches are to be believed, within the given social
conditions, there are social benefits being given to heterosexual marriages and their family life
is seen as a marker of an ideal prosperous course of life, people who do not fit in this category
become soft targets to social rejections and stigma, negative stereotyping, financial and social
discrimination (Crocker et al., 1998).
Perception of singles as nonconformist, atypical or in a transforming stage continues to exist
until they get married (Jamison & Proulx, 2013). Not much of the literature attaches a positive
and healthy connotation to singlehood or claims that single people are psychologically and
emotionally more benefitted than married people except having options in terms of freedom,
independence, self-growth and actualization (Laurin et al., 2013; Shortell, 2008). Singlehood
has always been characterized by dejection, loneliness. In comparison to single men, single
women are more prone to derogatory remarks and stigmatization and often referred to as old
maid, cat lady.
Study by Amadiume states that womanhood is viewed in terms of their representation in a
relationship with men and appropriateness of their expected gender role (Amadiume ,1987).
15
Most women are expected to get married for mere fulfilment of their ascribed responsibilities
as a woman. Backing this notion Reynolds and Wetherell mentions that due to assumed
relatedness of femininity and motherhood with men, most societies do not accept singlehood
of women as they fail to adhere the social norm of having children which is through marriage
(Reynolds & Wetherell , 2003) .This connectedness with men is based out of notion that having
a men in life will keep them protected and because of this despite of achieving a high social
status, she is seen as incomplete without marriage ( Sharp & Ganong,2011).
Stigmatization and stereotyping of singlehood: As stated by Stafford & Scott stigma “is a
characteristic of persons that is contrary to a norm of a social unit” where a “norm” is defined
as a “shared belief that a person ought to behave in a certain way at a certain time” (Stafford
& Scott, 1986; Pg.80-81). Stigmatization can well be understood through the following
definition “stigmatized individuals possess (or are believed to possess) some attribute, or
characteristic, that conveys a social identity that is devalued in a particular social context.”
(Crocker et al., 1998; Pg. 505). Since singlehood is a straight contradiction to the socially certified structure of marriage as a marker of normalcy, therefore their status is considered as a
stigma.
In India marriage is considered the most important act for leading a normal and developing
life, especially for women. The various patriarchal centred studies highlights “Settled” as symbolic of being married. Along these lines, the educational and professional achievements,
especially those of women, does not hold any importance and categorize her as a failure since
she did not meet up the basic and the most important pedestal of human life- marriage. A single
woman in India is characterized as a dejected, downcast who loses all her rights as a human
due to her single status. Though the severity of these characterizations varies with the reason
for them being single, ultimately they all are considered women with questionable
characters. It becomes hard for society to pass the age-old conventions of age and relationship
status. Their existence without marriage brings out a social stigma amongst single women as
for them marriage is seen as the only way to be accepted as the part of the community (Beauvoir
& Parshley, 1997).
Previous studies on stereotypes about single people were solely based on the marital status
which inferred that married people were seen as much contended, assured and dependable
vis-à-vis singles (Etaugh & Malstrom, 1981). In the later phase, also researchers were trying
16
to represent singles as people symbolic of a life full of shyness, unhappiness, insecurity and
rigidness (DePaulo & Morris, 2005). Many years of research have additionally recorded
psychological advantages revealing that marriage is related with more happy and healthy companions (Ta, Gesselman, Perry, Fisher, & Garcia, 2017). Theoretical researches characterized
single women as not much worthy, less cheerful, broken, incomplete beings in comparison to
married women; that being single by choice was never perceived as a lifestyle; and that by
internalizing the negative stigmatization and stereotype towards single women acted as a compelling force for them to marry (Shachar et al., 2013).
Not much difference is seen in the way singles are perceived today. They still continued to be
seen as selfish, immature, inflexible, insecure, dejected people exactly opposite to married
people (Larson, 2014). A lot of affirmation towards married people could be seen amongst
single youths as well (Benson, 2013; Larson, 2014). Also, morality seems to be more attached
to married people than those who are single (Zhang, 2015). There is a visible pattern in
Stereotype Content Model that shows how social structures like social norms, institutions etc.
results in stereotyping that leads to biasness and discrimination (Caprariello, Cuddy, & Fiske,
2009).
Due to their single status, women do not have a very high social condition and status. Krishna
Kumari contends that social issues of single women are grouped in terms of the social stigma
attached to them, social limitations forced on them and social ostracism bringing about their
low economic well- being. With such low self- esteem, social dejection and being stigmatized
it is more likely for these single women to experience various psychological issues (Krishna
kumari ,1987). Single status is seen as a social stigma which has adversely impacted the
physical and psychological wellness (Hafford-Letchfield, Lambert, Long, & Brady, 2016; Link
& Hatzenbuehler, 2016).
Discrimination against singles does not limit itself to social exposure but it is very much visible
at work places also. Discrimination and biasness against single working people could very well
be seen in terms of difference in pay, unequal rights and benefits in military (Pignotti & Abell,
2009), unequal perks and incentives, prejudiced employee benefit schemes, insurance, taxes
etc. (DePaulo & Morris, 2005), and surprisingly singles are expected to invest more manpower
and time at their workplace as they are considered free from any other family responsibilities
17
(Jordan & Zitek, 2012). In terms of human behaviour discrimination can said be directly
proportionate to one’s physical and mental health. According to a study by Thomson and others
that any sort of discrimination that a person experiences, it has an adverse impact on the quality
of his social and personal life (Thompson et al., 2004), along with his psychological health
putting a person into depression (Krieger, 2014).
Even after it was visible that stereotyping existed for single people which laid the foundation
for discrimination and biasness for singles (DePaulo & Morris, 2006), it was still not taken as
a serious concern and people were not actually much aware of the fact that singles were a
stigmatized category in society and if such discrimination was even valid (DePaulo & Morris,
2006; Morris et al., 2007). The initial research work on stereotyping of singles was centred
around comparison between single and married people but the discrimination and biasness
against the singles was actually seen as an issue for single adults after DePaulo N Morris’s
study in 2005.They highlighted the underlying reason for stereotyping and discrimination
against single people is the institution of marriage and family and attempted to recognize
singles as a stigmatized category and identified the discrimination and biasness against singles
as a social problem.
Quantitative study approach for studying single womanhood: The researches that attempted
a quantitative approach to study singlehood were actually qualitative works as they were
exploratory in nature and focused on both men and women singlehood and are quite dated
works. There has been an ample amount of work done on singlehood as an occurrence in
American society (Cargan & Melko, 1982; Staples, 1981; Stein, 1981; Schwartzberg et al.,
1995). Chasteen made an attempt to present women singlehood from feminist perspective
focusing on the social and economic dominance faced by single women in societies against the
heterosexual married couple. The study conducted was a sort of faceoff between the institution
of marriage as a means of social and economic benefits versus how important it is a means for
female fulfilment and personal satisfaction. (Chasteen, 1994).
There was also a psychological study of over 30 unmarried women (30-40 age group)
conducted to elicit singlehood along with the relationship without love as a contributor to
loneliness (Brain, 1976; Gordon, 1976; Rook & Peplau, 1982), Burnley and Kurth (1992). The
data interpreted that loneliness has to do more with role satisfaction than the roles themselves.
Yet another quantitative study was conducted by Lewis and Moon to understand the meaning
18
of singlehood amongst heterosexual woman who were single and single again. The study came
up with three themes with inconclusive opinions about singlehood – Self-awareness of the
positives and negatives of being single, ambiguity in providing the reason for being single &
despite women being satisfied with their singlehood they share parallel experience of being at
loss and anguish (Lewis and Moon,1997).
A study conducted on 90 never married midlife single women, both by choice and
circumstances, by Anderson & Stewart with a feminist qualitative approach presented a
positive insight to singlehood amongst women. It features the various aspects of life that give
reasons to women to grasp and praise their singlehood. Despite the fact that this study was an
attempt to break the social stigmas being attached to singlehood of women, it was more
oriented towards white collared and white population (Anderson and Stewart 1994).
A similar feminist approach was used by Simon tried to illuminate the special contribution and
varied experiences brought in by always single women in contrast to the negative
representation of their singlehood as stigmatized and prejudiced (Simon, 1987).
An interesting study was conducted by Stein on how the childhood learnings, desires,
adolescent vision could have shaped a women’s perception about being in a marital relationship
or not. The study therefore took into consideration adaption of singlehood amongst women by
choice and by circumstances (Stein, 1981).
A cross cultural study on 72 single women was conducted by Gordon to learn about the
everyday life of these women. It was an attempt to explore the overall public and personal life
spheres of single women from different ethnicity & cultural backgrounds. The research
population also included especially abled women and women with different sexual
orientations. However, the majority of the population was well educated and financially well
off as compared to average women (Gordon, 1994).
Many of the empirical researches also tried to find out how does singlehood amongst women
have an impact on their identities (Lewis & Moon, 1997; Reynolds, 2006; Sharp & Ganong,
2011).
19
Above literature and several previous studies and researches on singlehood attempted to
establish it as a social issue due to the discrimination and biasness single people have to face
in society. Most of the researchers focussed on stigmatized and stereotyped behaviour against
singles which was not regarded as a cause of concern by the society. However, the attempt in
the current study is to find how women actually perceive their singlehood and how they
experience and cope with society’s perception of their single identity. Though previous
researches provided some very strong and positive outlook pertaining singlehood like effort to
establish comparison between marriage and singlehood as mere observation, analysing the way
for minimizing stereotyping about singles, focussing on the parameters for legitimizing
discrimination and so on but these studies also proved weak in their approach as they focused
on how people perceive singlehood amongst women rather than knowing how woman themselves feel about their singlehood and putting singles in negative light . These researches have
illuminated the importance of marriage so much that singlehood especially for women becomes
a questionable aspect. And the prior literature has majorly focussed on unmarried women as
subject of their research.
Categorizing singlehood as a deviance, discrimination and biasness have been demonstrated
by many earlier researches highlighting the negative stereotypes about singles and how women,
to remain a part of the society and to get away from the shame of not adhering to social norms,
internalizes their negative stereotypes (Buddeberg, 2011); for maintaining one’s status quo,
individuals see and back these discriminations against singles as legitimate (Benson, 2013);
also that such behaviour against singles is for their betterment singles (Piatkowski, 2012 ; Sharp
& Ganong, 2011; Smith, Willmott, Trowse, & White, 2013). All these studies along with many
others showed support how discrimination and stigmatization of single women have an adverse
impact on them which could also be easily ruled out and a positive approach towards them can
be created if the social & personal issues be recognized and rectified.
This qualitative study focuses on single women in general, whether by choice or by
circumstances as on the completion of the interviews it was quite prominent that irrespective
of the reasons for these women to be single, the perceived behaviour of the society remains
same for all .Though the previous researches talks about how singlehood creates problem for
women, how society perceive singlehood, why being single is always questionable but there
are very few studies that talks about how differently single women think they are perceived
20
from society in comparison to what their self -perception about themselves is which could best
be understood through theories of singlism and social constructionism. The following chapter
will talk about theorerical undeprinnings for the present study.
.
21
Chapter 3
Theoretical framework
A theoretical framework acts as a guiding structure for a research (Adom et al., 2018). DePaulo
and Morris were the first researcher who actually brought in light the negative approach towards single people by talking about the stereotypes and discrimination practiced towards people with single status (DePaulo and Morris, 2005). Based on this perspective came up many
theoretical models understanding various factors leading to such discrimination and stereotypes towards single people, how did such negative approach impacted singles. However, no
theoretical model existed that tried to explain the perception of single women of their singlehood and how they experience and cope with society’s behaviour towards them. Current qualitative study with grounded theory research paradigm has two theoretical underpinnings. First
theory, focussing on prejudices, discrimination and stigmatization faced by single women, is
theory of singlism and the other is theory of social constructionism that provided an explanation
of how these negative perception and stigmatization about single women are created and promoted and how such dominant social construction of marriage and singlehood impact people’s
self-perception.
3.1 Theory of singlism
One of the significant theories that has been used by researchers to study marriage and
singlehood is singlism. The theory was initially advocated by Morris & DePaulo to examine
singles and their positioning in social and scientific context. DePaulo and Morris have
classified singlism as stereotyping and discrimination against adults (DePaulo & Morris, 2005).
Singles are considered stereotyped as their attributes and behaviour corresponds to a negative
and deficient identity along with being deprived of benefits that are only catered to non- single
people based purely on their marital status (Addie & Brownlow, 2014; Sharp & Ganong, 2011;
Reynolds & Taylor, 2004).
Singlism is an outburst of uncontested idealization of marriage and family grounded in the
notion that sexual relationship is one of the verifiable peer relationships that is the marker of
happiness and sense of completeness for those who adhere to it than those who abstain from
such relationships. As a consequence of such ideology single women come across negative
22
approaches from society and are therefore discriminated and stigmatized. DePaulo & Morris,
using this theory, attempted to show that attaching such high values to the institution of
marriage puts single women in a negative light and made them cynical about their existence.
They backed the existence of negative perceptions about single women through various means
like treating singlehood as a stigmatized identity, singles lack responsibility and social maturity
and are unstable as opposed to married women.
With the outset of viewing singlehood as a deviant category many studies came up with the
similar overview. Study by Day, Kay, Holmes, & Napier (2011), presented discrimination and
prejudice against singles as rooted in system justification of establishing a legitimate and
equitable status quo that could justify and account for existing socio-economic-political
structures. Single people, rejecting such a status quo, face discrimination from society. A study
by Sharp & Ganong (2011) expresses that single women undergo a lot of pressure to marry
from relatives, peer group, colleagues which very vividly makes the perceived status of
singlehood deviant and unrecognized.
In Earlier research two highlighted significant markers of stereotyping and prejudice of single
people were age and gender. As per Developmental Life Tasks Model marriage is an important
milestone for development of social and personal life and therefore should be attained at a
certain age. Hence the probability of getting a better partner diminishes with growing age. For
women marriage and motherhood are considered the most desirable attributes of womanhood
therefore, age and gender tends to be the markers of their stigmatization and prejudice (Morris,
DePaulo, Hertel & Taylor, 2008).
Existing theories as a result of previous research and studies talks about biasness and
discrimination towards singles, sorting conflicting views regarding convictions and practices.
However, these theories talk about some or the other factors, attributes related to singlehood
but they do not explain much about what women think anout their singlehood and how do they
experience and cope with such biasness and discrimination. Based on the self-narrated
experiences of participants in their own words in current study, various themes and patterns
have been developed that further forms an explanatory theory for phenomenon or behaviour
being studied.
23
As a reaction to experiencing biasness and discrimination, single women may either choose
clinging to or dismissing the social norms. Their behavioural responses could directly be
related to the outcome they face which could knowingly or subliminally be driven towards
lessening their distress they experience or could experience by going against what has been
defined ‘normal’ by society. Since previous research works highlighting singlehood amongst
women as a deviance from social norms forms the basis of current study, therefore the study
attempts to explore the perception of single women about their singlehood and how they
experience and cope with society’s perception of their single identity.
The positive portrayal of married couples in media and literature have put singles under a
demeaning position by mentioning married people as physically, mentally and emotionally
happier and healthier. Married couples are the obvious choices for all sorts of social, economic
and employment benefits. But singles have to go through this prejudice of not being entitled to
such benefits due to their singlehood. In one of the studies conducted by Reynolds and Taylor
it was revealed that single women carry with them both negative and positive experiences of
being single and are in a constant effort to conceive it as an opportunity for self-improvement
and a progressive status in society (Reynolds & Taylor, 2004).
Talking about how pressurized these women feel due to their singlehood there existed both
internal and external pressure. External pressure from society, family, peers etc. seems to be
massive that forces these single women to get married and thereby adhering to the social norms
for having a successful and happier life ahead (Sharp & Ganong, 2011). Provided that external
pressure overtakes internal pressure that arises from within make these single women feel to
have a companion and family that will give them a happy and secured future (Piatkowski,
2012).
With the moving time frame women, have now started becoming more vocal about their single
status. They are happy with their freedom and parallely ready to opt for traditional female roles
by choice therefore pointing towards the onset of a wave of possible social change (Jacques &
Radtke, 2012). However, this approach of women has not been talked about much and the only
focus has been on their sufferings and negative impact of their single status. Therefore, an
attempt is required to talk about the experiences of these single women in detail about their
feelings regarding their singlehood, what do they feel being single, how do society perceive
them, how do they cope with such prejudices and discriminations.
24
All spheres of society have been using the deficit model and labelling singles as unhappy,
psychologically, physically and socially weak than their married counterparts. One of the milestones that marks the accomplishment of complete adulthood is marriage hence singlehood is
considered a transitory phase and singles are seen with regards to this waiting period of getting
married therefore rejecting the possibility of singlehood being a matter of personal choice or a
way of life. Women have spoken about the pressure they undergo by their family, society, peers
for adhering to the social norm of marriage to lead a normal and happy life ahead. Many women
look up to marital companionship as a result of internalizing stereotypes that it seems like a
mandatory phenomenon for having children rather than being in an intimate relationship.
Studies show that women with high self - esteem, better socio-economic status and have a
positive look out for themselves are more than happy and satisfied with their single status
(Dykstra & Poortman, 2010; Piatkowski, 2012).
The present study tries to gather information that could be valuable to any single woman
irrespective of their circumstances and also to contribute in spreading positive establishment
of women singlehood in patriarchy driven Indian society. Also, the current research is an
attempt to fill the gap in literature pertaining to single womanhood that existed between
singlehood established as a social issue and how it impacted women from a social perspective,
and to find out the measures to present singlehood as a positive social identity. Using
qualitative technique for data collection and analysis there were development of patterns and
themes through semi structured interview of participants. These patterns and themes assisted
in formulation of theory for explaining what women think about their singlehood and how do
they cope up with such discrimination and biasness faced by them due to their single status. Theory of singlism and social constructionism provided ground for explaining why and
how is there an existence of discrimination and biasness against singles and why marriage is
established as a social institution.
3.2 Theory of social constructionism
Social constructionism serves as a theoretical ground to have a better understanding of
perception of single women in society and social construction of their singlehood. As portrayal
of single women in Indian society as a deviant group is a social construction, similarly women
have their own views and meanings constructed about their singlehood dependent on their
experiences and interpretations. The current research attempts to explore these constructed
25
meanings by single women as a result of their own experiences towards singlehood through
semi structured interviews. The analysis of the data enabled the existence of various themes
that supported the revelation of explanatory theory describing perception of single women
about their singlehood and how they experience and cope with society’s perception of their
single identity.
Social constructionism provides a reasoning for existence of stigma and stereotyping and
discrimination of single people and marriage proclaiming the status of social norm. Theorists
of social constructionism contends that it’s through social interaction that a body of knowledge
is developed and maintained. They postulate that human reality is substantially acknowledged,
determined and experienced through social and cultural norms. This constructivist grounded
theory study uses Berger and Luckman’s theory of social constructionism as one of its
theoretical concepts following which participants develop their own subjective meaning of
their lived experiences. Social construction of adherence to institution of marriage as social
norm is one of the major causes for existing stigmatization and discrimination of singles (Berger & Luckmann, 1996; Homans, 1958). Aniciete and Soloski’s statement (2011) that “Dominant beliefs within society, and also ourselves, influence each individual’s perception of what
is real'' (p. 104) indicates that some predominant assumptions about women who stay single
beyond desired marriageable age is negatively perceived by society which they internalize and
start living with it (Sharp & Ganong, 2011).
It is believed that certain roles are predefined to be fulfilled by women only. Such beliefs are
not intrinsic rather a dominant belief adopted through traditional social construction (coontz,
2005). Though in the modern world single women are competitive enough to stand head to
head with men and are becoming financially independent and leading a happy and successful
life. But still the dominant socially constructed ideology tags single women as subservient and
deficient. Social constructionist theorists opined that the world of social construction should
constantly be negotiated by people so that they continue to be a part of it. Women therefore
negotiate by becoming wife to a man in order to keep themselves out from being classified as
‘others’ (Sharp & Ganong, 2011).
The biasness and discrimination against singles could be well understood through theory of
social constructionism which implies that all realities are results of social constructionism, they
all are socially constructed. It is a reflection of people’s action and interaction that create these
26
realities. As stated by Charles cooley "I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am;
I am who I think you think I am” (Sinn, 2018) is actually the essence of social constructionism
and that is how singlehood amongst women is established as a deviance in society. A body of
knowledge is constructed and perceived bases these interactions and sustainability and support
to several social institutions, like marriage, is gained from these social constructions of realities
(Andrews, 2012; Diaz-Leon, 2015) .Therefore, people falling off the line of this social norm
are considered as deviant and are liable to face discrimination and biasness due to their
singlehood .Many studies have approved of the fact that those who are singles are not only
prone to social discrimination but are also deprived of various financial and economic benefits
at work level that are considered as an obvious right of married couples (Sharp & Ganong,
2011; Piatkowski, 2012).
Such differential treatment of society with single women could be held more responsible for
their stigmatized identity rather than their single status itself (Simon, 2002). Theory of social
constructionism calls for an understanding and explanation of human behaviour and is
consistent with grounded theory methodology (Andrews, 2012). Using social constructionism
and theory of singlism as theoretical underpinnings this qualitative study through its dynamic
process of data collection and analysis, leads to developing theory that explains perception of
single women about their singlehood and how do they experience and cope with society’s
perception of their single identity.
27
Chapter 4
Research Methodology
4.1 Methodological Framework
To understand how single women, perceive their singlehood and how they experience and cope
with society’s perception of it, this study used a qualitative research method. Qualitative study
is a process that involves observing and elucidating people’s perception of various occurrences
in natural arrangements (Gentles et al., 2015; Mohajan, 2018), In the present study making use
of qualitative study enabled collection of in-depth data for interpreting the lived experiences of
these single women. This chapter will describe the usage of qualitative methods for research,
sources and instruments of data collection, sampling technique and the measures used for data
analysis.
The present research methodology aims at examining the meaning attached to social
phenomena by people (Kearney, 2001). The purpose of using a qualitative research
methodology is to search for answers to questions regarding the manner in which the
participants make and decipher social experiences (G. Guba & S. Lincoln, 1994). Qualitative
researchers who seek to investigate meanings are actually centred around the way people attach
meaning to their lives, environment and experiences (Merriam, 1988) and therefore makes
qualitative methodology descriptive in nature and making the procedure, meaning and
understanding achieved through words as the area of interest for the researcher. In accomplishing this, the researcher adopts an inductive process wherein he forms and conceptualizes
abstraction, ideas and theories from details (Creswell, 1994), trying to perceive and making
meaningful interpretations in relation to the context (Patton, 1990). Therefore, it is claimed that
in qualitative research description is not much structured as it prepares and constructs new
theories (Leedy and Ormrod, 2001; Williams, 2007).
Qualitative researches are best suited for examining social issues which are sensitive in nature
for instance personal behaviours, experiences, social conduct and situations to find the reason
for their occurrences that is, how and why (Kvale and Maxwell ,1996). Qualitative methods in
research have always been a way to bridge the gap which could probably not be covered by
quantitative approach, especially when the area of focus is behaviour or behavioural patterns.
28
Since the ultimate objective was to deduce themes and patterns out of the data provided by
these single women through the interview process, it becomes utmost important to segregate,
define and categorize the data and therefore it necessitates the use of qualitative methods for
research. Therefore, the two basic reasons to choose a qualitative method for research are a)
Finding answer to the research question requires a qualitative approach b) Dataset itself demands qualitative analysis (Morse & Richards, 2007). Since the present study fulfils both the
above-mentioned criteria therefore opting for qualitative grounded theory methodology seems
justified.
Since the current study is qualitative in nature therefore constructivist grounded theory is
chosen as the basis for methodological framework as it is considered one of the effective
methods of qualitative research in the field of social sciences (Denzin & Lincoln, 1994). What
makes grounded theory different from other qualitative theories is the fact that a general theory
as an explanation for a particular phenomenon emerges out of the concepts and information
gathered during an ongoing process of data collection and analysis that are grounded in the
experiences of the participants that is self- narrated by them (Charmaz, 2006; Corbin & Strauss,
2015; Glaser, 2016a; 2016b) .Use of grounded theory with social constructivist lens appears
compatible due to the fact that it supports in developing theories and themes to explain
behaviours through the process of data collection and analysis (Kolb, 2012).
Grounded theory is basically an original work of Glaser and Strauss (Corbin & Strauss, 2015)
which could either be constructivist- data collection and analysis is in collaboration with participants or objectivist – data existing in actuality irrespective of the production process (Charmaz, 2006). To provide an explanation for occurrence of a specific phenomenon, a theory is
induced from the data emerging out of the lived experiences of the participants narrated by
themselves (Nastasi & Schensul, 2005). Theory acted as the guiding force for choosing the
current research method which was additionally the result of this study. The current study
focussed on women’s experience of their singlehood with the objective for evolution of theory
and constant process of data collection and analysis as a combination of developing theories
and participation, which is indicative of application of grounded theory qualitative approach
and its suitability.
29
As advised by Strauss and Corbin, the protocol for grounded theory qualitative methodology
was opted for the current study to explain various actions in relation to biasness and discrimination faced by single women due to their singlehood (Strauss and Corbin, 2015). Conducting
semi-structured in-depth interviews of the participants lead to collection of data and their
analysis. During this process, various themes emerged regarding women’s experiences that
lead to a theory to explain how women’s perception of their singlehood is in complete contrast
with that of society which points at them experiencing biasness and discrimination and how
they cope with it to make them moving.
Using a constructionist view rooted in social constructionism (Charmz, 2006), grounded theory
enables the development of explanatory theories through semi-structured interview (data
collection). By analysing the responses of these single women to various open ended questions
lead to understanding of singlehood as a social problem in Indian society that surely impacts
them (Creswell, 2013ba). Their behaviour may act as a means to reduce the discord between
the perceived notion of singlehood as deviation by society and what actually women believe
and behavioural outcomes are which could also be an endeavour to lessen social identity threat
(Holmes et al., 2016).
Developed from unique work by Glaser & Strauss, Constructivist grounded theory is a process
of collecting, analysing and co-creating the data from the participants as their own lived experiences. Acknowledging the capacity to acquire data out of the information and details provided
by participants through their self-narrated experiences makes social constructionist view viable
with Grounded theory methodology. To understand social construction of a woman’s reality
and beliefs about their singlehood and its impact on them as an individual, Grounded theory
happens to be one of the most suitable methods. Current study being qualitative in nature allows
for construction of an explanatory theory grounded in data in the form of participant’s self told experiences (Charmaz, 2006; Corbin & Strauss 2015).
A grounded theory approach to explore how women experience the biasness and discrimination
for being single and its impact on them has actually assisted in letting self-narration of the lived
experience of their singlehood in their own voice. Constant comparisons between the
participants and within each interview lead to development of themes and patterns backing the
theoretical explanation for the phenomenon. Conclusively, the present theoretical explanation
for what is the perception of single women about their singlehood and how they experience
30
and cope with society’s perception of their singe identity is a sum total of participant’s selfnarrated lived experiences of being single, researcher’s own observation and analysis of each
participant’s interview and the emerging themes and patterns. There is a further scope for
expansion of this theory through collecting the experiences and narration from a much bigger
sample size through quantitative techniques and tools and also including women who were not
representing the sample in current study.
4.2 Data Source
Sources for collecting the data were both primary and secondary. The source for primary data
were the participants who shared their lived experiences through semi-structured in-depth
interviews. Sources for secondary data were published articles, journals, books and reports.
Need for secondary data emerged to find the gaps in previous literatures along with enhancing
researcher’s knowledge and understanding about the subject under examination.
4.3 Instruments of data collection
Since the source for primary data collection were the participants therefore semi structured
in-depth interviews emerged as the most suitable instrument for data collection. Medium of
communication was only English as all the participants were comfortable with the same.
Before the commencement of the actual data collection process, small test interviews were
conducted to be ensured of the clarity and comprehension of the questions by participants. The
final questionnaire was prepared based on the feedback received from participants after the
pre-test interview.
4.3 (a) Semi-structured interview
Compatible with an exploratory research process using grounded theory, semi-structured
interviews were the main method of data collection from the participants. Despite of several
available techniques for data collection in a qualitative study, interview method, especially the
semi-structured one proves more fruitful in having a more qualitative data through detailed
understanding of participant’s mental world and it also helps in making much more meaning
out of their shared experiences and subjective views (Wambui,2013). Data collection through
an interview method is one of the most relevant ways of interpersonal exchange of meaning
31
and understanding of a particular action or event between the participants and researchers (Kumar, 2005).
If the research study aims at exploring more complicated and subjective phenomena, interview
seems to be a more appropriate instrument for collecting data as it helps researchers in gaining
insight into people’s psychological and emotional thinking and also helps in better understanding of their feelings and lived experiences (Denscombe, 2007). Semi-structured interviews
make researchers comprehend the themes of self- narrated lived experiences of the participants
in the real world (Kvale & Brinkmaan ,2009).
4.3 (b) In-depth interview
One of the most appropriate instruments of data collection in qualitative studies are individual
in-depth interviews which according to Bloom & Crabtree are “Used to co-create meaning with
interviewees by reconstructing perceptions of events and experiences related to participants.”
(Bloom & Crabtree, 2006; Pg. 316). This technique has been embraced by numerous researchers of social sciences, as a way to increase an understanding into how individuals comprehend
their reality. It is viewed by many feminist researchers as a medium to bring in light individuals
who are considered unimportant and degraded in society. It is seen as a way which allows
participants to represent their lives and encounters in their own words therefore enabling
researchers to gain insight into people’s experiences and how they attach meaning to various
events of their daily lives (Beecham, n.d.).
Since In-depth interview is a one on one interaction and provides an edge to the participants
for expressing themselves with no string attached, they find it complementing and therapeutic
in venting out their feelings, emotions and sharing their life experiences and to have someone
tune in with intrigue. Also, the interviewers find themselves at privilege of having individuals
who are merely acquaintances or complete strangers endowing them with a brief look into their
personal lives (Wright, 1996). Such interviews help in bringing out much more detail and
clarity in participant’s view of the research topic. Researchers by posing questions and with
attentive listening keeps participants engaged and come up with more sub questions depending
on the responses received form the participants. It provides an open forum for the participants
to provide maximum information with open-ended questions where researchers ensure that the
32
participants are not provided any lead basis any prejudiced concepts and neither they try for
some modifications in their responses by approving or disapproving them (Wright, 1996).
Using open-ended in-depth interviews as a method for collecting data from single women about
the biasness and discrimination they come across because of their singlehood proved to be one
of the most compatible methods. It encouraged women to share responses to semi structured
questions which created room for many sub questions followed by further responses from them.
In the current study nine single Indian women were interviewed by the researcher from
different parts of India. All the participants had different socio-economic, financial, religious
backgrounds. Participants also belonged to different age groups and in-depth interviews as a
data collection method enabled researchers to understand their divergent experiences and the
meanings attached to it.
4.4 Sampling Techniques
Sampling techniques can said to be a preliminary draft to be driven in by researchers as the
study progresses (Devers and Frankel, 2000). A purposive sampling was initially used to find
the participants who would be willing to contribute to developing a theory for explaining how
women attach meaning to their singlehood and how do they experience and cope with biasness
and discrimination by society due to their singlehood. It can best be described as "a random
selection of sampling units within the segment of the population with the most information on
the characteristic of interest" (Guarte and Barrios 2006). This technique, virtually synonymous
to qualitative study, is quite vital for sample designing of studies which are based on interview
method with an endeavour to build up a correlation between sample design and research
question as the researcher, while the selection of the sample for the study, should have straight
relevance to research question (Bryman, 2008). Simultaneously snowball sampling was roped
in to locate more women as provider of relevant and significant details about biasness and
discrimination due to woman singlehood (Creswell, 2013b). This non-probable technique of
sampling starts with a very small and selective population who are further asked for more
references willing to participate therefore, expanding the size of the sample. This got completed
with asking each participant at the end of the interview to suggest few eligible people who
would be willing for their contribution to the study.
33
Current study sample comprises single women from urban cities (unmarried/widowed/
divorced/separated) of 35 years and above currently residing in India with different socio-economic and financial status. Demographic details of participants are mentioned in Table 1 below
and to maintain the confidentiality of the participants their initials will be used for the study
and names with same initials will be denoted by numbers along with the initials.
Table 1- Demographic details of the participants
Highest EduS.no
Name
Age
cational
de-
gree
marital status
occupation
city
1
Ms. BR
60
Masters
separated
Teacher/Homemaker Jharkhand
2
Ms. RJ
36
Masters
divorced
Sales Manager
Mumbai
3
Ms. RJ 2
36
masters
unmarried
HR Professional
Bangalore
4
Ms. SV
38
masters
unmarried
Sales Manager
Gurgaon
5
Ms. SB
40
masters
unmarried
Editor
6
Ms. AR
36
masters
unmarried
7
Ms. AM
36
masters
widow
Teacher
Lucknow
8
Ms. AR 2
38
masters
unmarried
Hr Professional
Berlin
9
Ms. NK
40
masters
divorced
Hr Manager
Goa
Marketing
New
Delhi
profes-
sional
Mumbai
4.5 Methodology
Single women who have faced biasness and discrimination due to their singlehood or women
who were earlier married and have experienced singlism are the focus of the study. Though
this discrimination and biasness is not gender specific and happens to both men and women
however studies focussing on stigmatization, challenges and difficulties faced by single adults
are majorly centred around women (Barak, 2014; Lahad & Hazan, 2014).
Firstly, the requirement for the participants who are willing to contribute to this study was
posted at social media platform (Facebook). And those who showed interest were sent a
34
personal email for confirmation and consent and post receiving their acknowledgments the
participants were interviewed. Considering the pandemic situation and travel restriction due
to coronavirus, interviews were conducted telephonically and lasted between 30- 60 minutes.
The time duration of each interview is mentioned in Table 2. All the interviews were audio
recorded and it was also mentioned to the participants that if required, they could be contacted
again and the consent was sought. With the objective of active participation and seeking optimum details from the participants, interview questions were open ended and grounded theory
has a changing and recurrent process wherein co-working of researcher and participants boosts
up the clarity of questions, makes the process active and allows best possible comprehension
of behaviour being examined. Participants were briefed about the purpose of the study and
interview process. The interview questions are mentioned in appendix A and participant’s demographic details and consent forms are mentioned in appendix B. After completion of all the
interviews they were transcribed for the data analysis process and for understanding the emerging themes.
Table 2- Interview duration of Participants
Interview duration of Participants
Study participants
Length of interview (minutes)
Ms. BR
0:58:36
Ms. RJ
0:42:46
Ms. RJ 2
0:38:06
Ms. SV
0:60:05
Ms. SB
0:58:36
Ms. AR
0:37:32
Ms. AM
Email
Ms. AR 2
0:40:00
Ms. NK
0:50:00
35
4.6 Data Analysis
This analysis aimed at recognizing common themes that emerged during interviewing single
women about their perception of singlehood and experiences and coping mechanism on facing
biasness and discrimination due to their singlehood in Indian society. The current study
adopting a qualitative approach and being explorative does not logically support formation and
testing of hypotheses. Every single interview was coded on the basis of specification emerged
out of detailed examination of participant’s responses (data). Data analysis served the purpose
to ascertain classifications, association and premises that are symbolic of participant’s view in
general and about the topic in specific (McCracken, 1988). Data analysis is simply a process
to break down and filter the information gathered by participants to conclude suggestive themes
and patterns existing with the available dataset.
To extract and analyse meaningful and significant themes from within the qualitative data is
one of the former motives of data analysis. A researcher’s focus is to recognize and see such
ideas, circumstances and thoughts as an individual's understanding of their life events and
circumstances at a given point of time, how did they come to such perspective of their world
where they gradually land up, how they identify with others in their own personal space, what
are their coping mechanism within their own world, what perspective do they have about past
and present events of their life and how do they perceive the past and present life of those who
share similar experiences and circumstances ( Flick, 2017).
To analyse data in qualitative study involves certain steps like coding, classifying and making
meaning out of significant events and experiences shared by the participants. Data collected by
participants after analysis are coded. Coding is a process of going through the collected data
repeatedly for locating concepts and revealing relationships established between them. In
qualitative studies coding is “how you define what data you are analysing about” (Gibbs, 2007).
It therefore aims at identifying themes, patterns, ideas and looking for similar notes in the entire
data and applying ‘codes’ to them. In the current study during the data analysis process
researcher took notes while conducting interviews, recognized codes and further scaling them
down to specific themes, basis the occurrence of codes doing categorization and presenting the
results (Madison, 2011; Hancock, 2017). Codes can be inferred out of certain themes, events,
topics or ideas and their selection depends upon how relevant those topics and themes are in
36
relation to the study being conducted (Fade,2004; Rathor, 2011). In qualitative studies using
grounded theory methodology, the coding process initiates with open coding with an objective
to break down the collected data into small sections describing the event or phenomenon being
studied to identify common topics, concepts for creating themes/categories. After the identification and categorization, they are further analysed for more specific characteristics that
classifies each theme/category and gradually bringing together all the recognized themes and
concepts in axial coding (Charmaz, 2006).
The information collected through semi-structured in-depth interviews were further transcribed
post the identification of themes. Various sections emerged during open coding were
significantly connected by researcher making it more meaningful. The coding procedure
advanced from recognizing to maturing a concept that provided meaning to the phenomenon
being examined (Corbin & Strauss, 2015). A comparative analysis was done between and
within the interviews (Charmaz, 2006; Corbin & Strauss, 2015) to examine if there was need
to add some new categories as per new data set or the existing categories were optimum fit
(Patton, 2014). And during axial coding final selective coding set up a correlation between the
emerging categories so that a framework could be made to explain the occurrence of the
phenomenon under examination.
4.7 Ethical concerns
One of the significant parts of any study is maintaining the privacy, interest and comfort of the
participants (Eide & Kahn, 2008). The researcher very well understands the subtleness of the
phenomenon about single women’s experience of biasness and discrimination due to their
singlehood especially in context of Indian society where being a single woman is considered
as non-acceptable behaviour, therefore it was important for the researcher to be sensitive and
humble towards the participants. All the participants were well informed about the purpose of
the study before and at commencement of the interview and the participants were shortlisted
after receiving verbal as well as written consent over email.
Since qualitative study has a verbal representation of its data, it therefore makes it conveniently
accessible and readable to anyone. Therefore, it becomes obvious to respect privacy of
participants and the confidentiality of data collected from them (Flick et al., 2001) which was
maintained across the entire study. Permission to audio record the interviews was already
37
sought from the participants over the consent email and they were clearly communicated and
ensured about the storage of these recordings at the safest place. They were also informed that
during the process of interview they may choose not to answer questions which they don’t feel
comfortable with and can conveniently withdraw their participation in the study at any given
point of time.
4.8 Limitations
The sample selection was quite similar with regards to their education, socio-economic status,
financial status as the population sample is only from urban set up. This reflected lot of
similarity amongst participant’s self perception and their experiences towards biasness and
discrimination caused due to their singlehood. The sample biases could be considered due to
sampling technique as it is a snowball technique and references were taken from the
participants therefore they belonged to the same social level.
Further due to word limitation a descriptive analysis has to be kept to the point therefore
resulting in omission of certain fruitful and significant data like some excerpts from transcribed
interviews and meaning attached to it which could have added more value to the study. Since
all the participants were not available for member checking the validation and trustworthiness
of the study could be limited. The following chapter will present the findings of the study
starting with interpretation of qualitative data followed by researcher’s observations and key
findings.
38
Chapter- 5
Results, discussions & Limitations
The purpose of this study was to propose a theory that explains how women perceive their
singlehood and how they experience and cope with society’s perception of their single identity.
In this qualitative study, based on grounded theory, nine single Indian women were
interviewed. During interviews, it was quite surprising and really commendable to see how
these participants were so vocal about their experiences and emotions related to their
singlehood. The participants were not hesitant in sharing their struggle of daily lives at all
levels of society. Since snowball sampling most likely recognizes participants from a specific
social background therefore, sample selection was quite homogeneous with respect to their set
up which was urban, they all belonged to working class, well educated and professionals and
were heterosexual. Such similar demographic characteristics restricts the generalization of the
study and therefore should be considered while reading and analysing the results.
5.1 Results
Analysis of data for this study led to emergence of few important themes and sub themes that
encapsulated the lived experiences of the participants. These themes were the most relevant
and in line with how women think about their singlehood, how they experience and cope with
society’s perception of their single identity. Collected data revealed the following major
themes:
1) Woman’s self-perception of their singlehood 2) Meaning attached to their singlehood by
society 3) Coping mechanism
5.2 WOMAN’S SELF-PERCEPTION OF THEIR SINGLEHOOD
Early researches on western societies revealed that being a single woman was not a cake walk
(Gordon 1994; Allen 1989). If one wants to be in a married relationship or not is a choice that
everyone should have. However, in a tradition driven country like India where individual’s
opinion is overpowered by sentiments of parents, pressure from society and age old stigmas,
having a say in choosing one’s marital status is a bliss for many women. Single women today
are more vocal about their status quo and hold a very strong and positive perception of their
singlehood.
39
In present study participants were single either by choice or by circumstances and the
perception they have of their singlehood includes singlehood as a trade-off, Singlehood as a
means to free and independent life, Singlehood means living alone but not lonely, Singlehood
is symbolic of contentment amongst women. One common aspect mentioned by all the
participants was the fact that they were happy with their present marital status and did not show
any desperation to be in a relationship.
5.2 (a) Singlehood as trade-off
Being totally conscious about the pros and cons of being single, many participants referred to
their singlehood as a trade-off between their independence and liberty on one side and feeling
of being alone and loss of companionship on other sides. As one of the participant RJ 2
mentioned:
“I am free to do whatever I want to. I am the master of my own life and have complete liberty
to do anything I like without seeking anyone’s permission unlike my married female friends
who have to think about their husbands and families before taking any decision and getting
into a relationship will take away this freedom and that is what holds me back from entering a
relationship. Having said that there is a compromise to this happiness. I lack emotional support
sometimes. Since you cannot share everything with your parents and friends so at that moment
I feel a need for that special committed relationship.”
Another participant AR2, says:
“I love being independent though I sometimes miss the companionship. You are dependent on
your friend for doing certain activities. And sometimes you are required to make certain
decisions you actually look for someone to back this decision of yours. Though my mother is
there for me but at times my singlehood feels a trade-off between my independence and liberty
and absence of moral and emotional support that comes along companionship.”
Most of the participants mentioned about their singlehood as being a negotiation between their
independence and freedom and loss of being with someone with whom you can share your
deeper thoughts and mostly phrases used for denoting this trade-off were “though I love my
freedom and independence but also emotional support is missing”, “I am free and liberated but
miss companionship”, “I am free and independent but also lack emotional touch”.
40
5.2 (b) Singlehood as means to free and independent life
One of the common aspects that every participant talked about their singlehood was their
freedom and independence. There were numerous ways mentioned by participants through
which they live their free and independent life as a single woman. Freedom of living their life
on their own conditions was one of the major aspects of singlehood drawn by participants.
Decisions from what to eat to whom to meet, how and when to spend money, where to go and
what to do formed their choices of feeling free. Their freedom and independence was also
expressed in terms of having things and making decisions for themselves without keeping
anyone else’s interest in mind or rather seeing their life as a trade-off between what they want
and what their partner and his family wants. Not being answerable to any one for their actions
was amongst one of the most priced feelings that every participant mentioned.
Ms. RJ 2 mentioned “unlike my married or coupled friends, who always have to make their
plans keeping in mind the interest of their partners, being single I do not have to worry about
such things. I go and watch movies alone and enjoy that a lot. If there are impromptu meeting
plans for odd hours I do not have to think twice as I do not have anyone to take care of or I
should be worried about.”
Another aspect which some of the participants associated with their singlehood was being free
from responsibilities of other people and by ‘people’ basically reflected their freedom and
independence from responsibilities and botheration about children and husband. And living
alone for such a long time has actually narrowed their space for compromising or making
adjustments post marriage. All the participants attached so much value to their free and
independent life that they have started looking at marriage as a potential threat to their
independence and freedom. For instance, Ms. SV mentioned:
“I am taking care of my parents and as they are ageing they need me more. Maybe this could
have not been possible to this extent if I was married. Until a specific age my family including
me were worried about my marriage getting delayed but after crossing that threshold I realised
about my happiness that my singlehood has given to me. I have seen so many married couples
or people who are in a relationship getting into fights, physical one, fights to satisfy their
respective egos, a woman's fight to establish her existence in her husband’s family. And at this
age of 38, I really don’t see any scope of making adjustments with a person whom I will get
41
married to. I really perceive my singlehood as a blessing for me and my independence is
precious to me.”
Ms. SB who is 38 years of age and an editor for a British Magazine opined:
“Being single I do not have any responsibility for another person and I am comfortable with
that. I do not have any pressure to look after my husband and children. I am independent. I
have a mind of my own and make my own choices in life. My family supports me. I love being
by myself. I am in a space being single and I am comfortable in my own skin.”
Ms. AM, who lost her husband and is a single mother, has to say:
“I never thought that there would be so many ups & downs in my personal & professional life.
My persistence and dedication are always fuelled by my love and commitment to my son &
family. Being single has allowed me to focus on my career. I want women to know & understand how powerful and amazing they are. Being single is a kind of flexibility you afford i.e.
you can be spontaneous or ultra-planned with your time.”
This perceived aspect of freedom and independence by participants can very much be backed
by the studies on single women that mentioned about how single women cherish their
independence and freedom in different facets of life (Lewis & Moon, 1997; Addie & Brownlow, 2014) and crafting their life as per their own will (Wang & Abbott, 2013).
5.2 (c) Singlehood means living alone but not lonely
Singlehood amongst women is often associated with loneliness and melancholy. Some Indian
scholars like Promilla Kapur and Mrinal Pandey stated that single women are unsure and have
some kind of fear for their lives due to the loneliness and prejudiced behaviour of the society
(Shikha, 2009). Study by (Ta et al., 2017) opined that marriage being an indicator, single
women showed higher levels of stress due to loneliness in comparison to married women.
However, the data analysis for the current study reveals that participants agreed to the fact that
they have to stay alone and especially in the pandemic situation where the entire country is
under lock down, they longed for someone to be together, not necessarily a partner, but may
be a friend, or family member but they never felt lonely because of being single. There is a
difference between feeling alone and feeling lonely. For them living alone was associated more
42
with their independence and singlehood alike loneliness not being a subjective state which
intends to but doesn’t trigger that need to rethink for that one wanted missing relationship of
intimacy or care.
Ms. BR, who is separated from her husband at the age of 60 after almost 30 years of her
marriage states that:
‘I am just staying alone but that doesn’t make me feel lonely. A person is lonely when he or
she does not even have her family and friends to share his or her feelings with them. My life is
full of loving and caring people, my neighbours, my colleagues, my daughter, my brothers and
sisters are all my family who stands with and for me even in my tough times. And to be honest
I really love this aloneness as I feel so free to live my life according to my own will. I love
reading which somehow took a backseat due my involvement in looking after the family,
husband, children. But since it’s my choice to stay alone, I enjoy every bit of it and loneliness
is not to be seen anywhere.”
Ms. RJ, who is a divorced lady with a daughter mentions:
“Either you choose a reason to cry for being lonely or you enjoy being a free bird as you are
no more liable to be answerable to someone for your actions. I always have so many friends,
family who never make me feel lonely because if I feel low sometimes because of staying alone
then I know where and whom to approach. Staying connected with everyone is the key.”
AM also shares her experience and states:
“Single doesn’t mean alone. There are so many other relations that you have except husband/wife. Like you have to play a role of a daughter, a role of a sister & the most important
to play a role of a mother.”
If this aspect about single women of not having anyone in their lives is considered to be true,
then calling them lonely would have been correct. But as far as the study about happy and
lonely people by DePaulo (2006), DePaulo & Morris (2005) etc. is reviewed a very minimal
difference could be seen between married and single people’s happiness and health. Singles
not having anyone is just indicative of absence of a spouse. But the matter of the fact is that
human relations are like a wide network of connections. If one relation is in absence there are
43
other relationships that make people connected, taken care and loved by like friends, parents,
siblings etc.
5.2 (d) Singlehood is symbolic of contentment amongst women
Unlike most of the studies that portrayed single women as lonely, dejected, unsuccessful,
participants in the current study were very much proud of their choices of being single and felt
themselves accomplished and not less privileged than married women. They perceived their
singlehood as a state of accomplishment, satisfaction, self-development therefore projecting
single status amongst women with so much positivity and providing an edge for self-recognition and actualization. Establishing and proving themselves on the financial, social,
professional and spiritual front makes them ‘happy women’ rather than depressed lonely
females and they see themselves much more satisfied and happy with their singlehood status.
Ms. AR2, a 36-year-old single woman residing in Berlin mentioned:
“Do you think I am lacking somewhere due to my singlehood? I came to Berlin from India for
my further studies because I did not want to get married so early. Staying in a foreign land and
managing everything on my own fills me with pride and satisfaction. Staying away from marriage has actually helped me in developing my personality, made me a much better person and
gave me a chance to explore myself. If I would have got married, these aforementioned attributes would have never been achieved and I would just be shuttling between office and husband.”
Some of the participants also mentioned that along with achieving worldly possessions
simultaneously they also witnessed spiritual progression in the form of self-actualization.
Instead of relying on other relationships for seeking their security and happiness their
singlehood let them to have a better insight of their inner self and introspect their life
experiences.
Ms. SB talking about spirituality says:
“Being single is my choice and I am very happy with my life as I have an understanding of it.
I have been spiritual throughout and this definitely has helped me in dealing with negativity
that approached me through society. It is something you grow with, but it depends on your
realization. It helps everyone irrespective of marital status.”
44
Indian society idealizing marriage as the only means to achieve a successful and fruitful social
life, these single women take pride in being single and acknowledge being different becomes
their self-esteem. Participants were very aware of their social and personal boundaries guided
by morals and values that made them stretch across the boundaries rather than smashing it
completely.
Singlehood as means to free and
independent life
Singlehood as trade-off
WOMAN’S SELF-PERCEPTION OF THEIR
SINGLEHOOD
Singlehood means living alone but not
lonely
Singlehood is symbolic of contentment
amongst women
Source: Own research
5.3 MEANING ATTACHED TO SINGLEHOOD BY SOCIETY
Above excerpts from the participants very clearly shows positive approach towards their
singlehood and none of them showed any sort of grief or regret for not being in a socially
acclaimed parameter of marriage for having a successful personal and social life. However,
they have a very contradictory approach towards their single status when asked about how they
experience society’s perception of their single identity. None of the particicpants mentioned
any experiences supportive of their existing status quo. Rather as an outcome of getting a
differential treatment from society some of them seem to have internalize the prejudice and
biases received from society to get away with constant stigmatization and questioning about
their singlehood. The sub themes that emerged were Singlehood as a personal deficiency,
45
Singlehood as socially stigmatized identities, Singlehood as ‘failure’, Singlehood as parameter
for judgement.
5.3 (a) Singlehood as a personal deficiency
A country like India where roles are gender defined and are constantly in comparison with
pre-defined social parameters and anything that falls outside its realm is considered a deviation
or misfit for the society. Since marriage as an institution holds such a great importance in Indian
society that women who are single are considered incomplete and seen under negative light
due to their shift from socially accepted heteronormative paradigm. One common thing that
was shared by all the participants is that due to their singlehood they are considered
‘problematic’ by society. Problematic being an umbrella term perceives single women as
having some kind of physiological, biological, psychological, financial problems that has still
kept them from having a partner/ spouse. However, such ‘problems’ are looked through single
men.
One of the participants Ms. NK, a 45-year-old HR Manager in a multinational firm, through
her interview for the current study tried to talk about personal deficiency in terms of physical
appearance. According to her, people look at her as a strong headed independent woman who
is passionate and dedicated to her work but despite possessing such strong characteristics
society blames her skin tone as reason for her singlehood. She mentions:
“In our Indians Society, women with dark complexion are not considered beautiful. The biggest
irony is that even the media tries to project the same culture. Why are there cosmetic
advertisements for lightening the skin colour of the women, why not the other way around? I
have heard it so many times especially from my relatives that my dark complexion is taking
away all my chances of getting a groom or I should only think of getting a man in my life with
a similar skin tone. I mean how could someone’s skin tone be a parameter for getting or not
getting married?”
Yet another participant Ms. RJ stated that she often gets advice to bring some change in her
looks and personality as these shortcomings were holding back her singlehood. She states:
“I often get advice from my relatives that you should do something about your looks and
personality as it is the reason why I haven't got any match for myself till now.”
46
Ms. AR, who also happens to be a plus size fashion influencer says:
“Being of a certain weight people start advising me to cut down on my fat as it seems to be a
reason for my singlehood. What does my weight have to do with me getting not getting married? This is all because of pre-set parameters that society has made which defines how an
ideal woman should look like and if they fall outside that parameters she is a misfit for society.”
All the above-mentioned experiences of participants is an attempt to bring forth the unspoken
truth hidden in cultural supposition that women with dark skin tone, if single, is because of her
complexion as she fails to have a charm and beauty that a husband would like to see in their
wives. However, during their interview, partcipants tried really hard to make a point of people
who are close to them and know them personally are aware of the fact of why they are single,
it's however, perception of those who she referred to as ‘the others’.
Single women are more prone to judgement by society as they dare to go beyond the ideal
parameters of how a woman should be set by society and therefore have to face demeaned
behaviour from society and are held responsible for their singlehood due to something lacking
in them. There have been studies on women's singlehood that claims missing upon marriages,
considered as one of the most important milestones for having a happy and successful life,
several women embracing singlehood go through inter and intra personal conflict and leaving
themselves with an uncertain future (Sharp & Ganong, 2007). Scholars like Reynolds and
Taylor opined that singlehood is a state of deficit, characterized by absence of a relationship
despite having an identity of its own (Reynolds & Taylor, 2004) which stands true in cotext of
Indian society.
5.3 (b) Singlehood as socially stigmatized identities
As per census of India 2011 there is a remarkable increase in the population of single women
from year 2001. Almost over a decade social acceptance of single women has increased and
they are provided with a much better environment to live in compared to earlier years. They
now seem to be at more liberty to live their lives on their own conditions. However, the
following excerpts from the interviews for the current study suggests that though the change is
there but is almost negligible and they still have to come across age old stigmas and prejudices.
The experiences shared by single women are very much in sync with several studies talking
47
about the values, norms and ideologies within which the identity of a woman is constructed
that revolves around marriage, family, maternity and child bearing. Falling off this social
construction of women identity singlehood is seen as a stigmatized identity making them
deviant, redundant and a trouble maker (Byrne, 2008). Study by Morris et al. (2004)
emphasizes on the similar aspect stating that single people are seen as promiscuous, lacking
maturity, discipline and are self-obsessed. Thus, showing married women in a positive and
happy frame due to their adherence to conventional norm automatically makes single women
fall into the category of ‘sufferers’.
Ms. RJ, a divorcee and a single mother, states:
“Being a single woman and embracing motherhood is a bigger challenge in itself. Due to my
singlehood, I have gone through a lot both at the personal and professional front. My parents
are constantly being poked by neighbours, relatives to know the reason for my singlehood.
India is a country where if a married woman stays for a long time at her parents’ house people
start questioning their existence. I am already a divorcee and my sister is having a troubled
marriage and she is also staying with our parents. Now people have assumed themselves that
since both the daughters have troubled marriages surely something is wrong with them only.
Even in my professional life due to my singlehood people see me as a signage of ‘available’
and would even try their luck to set a date with me.”
Further talking more about her professional challenges Ms. RJ mentions:
“Since I am a single woman people often misjudge me and question my character. As per their
mind-set if single women have more male friends her character comes under scrutiny. There
have been many instances where I have been misjudged by people. If I am not able to achieve
my targets or not perform as per management’s expectation, then it gets directly connected to
my singlehood and my failed marriage. My singlehood is seen as an excuse to invest more
manpower and time since I am assumed to be free from any other responsibilities. A single
woman has to go through so much stigmas and prejudices in her daily life that life starts looking like a challenge.”
However, such stigmas are not applicable to single men. It is more convenient for men to live
their lives as single in comparison to women who have to go through various social obstacles
which men don’t (Ratra, A., Kaur, P., & Chhikara, S., 2006). In some parts of India and
48
especially in rural India single women are considered unsuspicious for ceremonies and social
gatherings. Social stigmas attached to women singlehood in India defines their social problems
(Krishnakumuri, 1997). If single women are referred to as ‘witches’(Dayan ), women in urbanized areas are seen as women of loose character and rebellious. Study by Dwaraki mentions
that single women, sooner or later, fall victim to negative approaches and ill words of society
(Blumberg and Dwaraki, 1980).
In a similar context Ms. SV reveals her ordeal:
“The community to which I belong gets their daughters married at age of 25 and I am 37 and
still single so how can people sit quietly? I am mostly questioned about what’s wrong with me,
do I have some kind of psychological or physical problem? Being a normal person I too have
mood swings where my happiness goes ignored by the society but my sadness, anger catches
everyone’s attention and it all boils down to me not being married. Once a woman is above 30
years, the agony aunts of your families starts telling your parents that now the girl has crossed
the ideal age for marriage so she would only get divorced, aged or a man with some other
disabilities or dysfunctionality. I fail to understand why so many stigmas attached with women
singlehood and why same does not apply to single men. The society is really biased.”
Ms. RJ, 38 year, an Hr associate mentions:
“Yes I think singlehood is a deviation in Indian society but only for women. They were and will
never be accepted in Indian society. And more than society it’s my family who wants me to get
settled down as they are worried about my future. People come to me and say you are not
getting married, something is wrong in you and you need to work upon yourself.”
Ms. AM talking about gender based stigma says:
“Gender equality is still in it’s initial stages and is just not budding. Indian people have different thinking in this case compared to other countries. Here a man gets the right to think of
re-marriage very easily but a woman has a very little right to think again. And this is the biggest
curse in India.”
The ultimate sense of achievement that society has set for women is marriage and motherhood
but does not apply to men. There is hardly any study that mentioned single manhood as a social
stigma. Society which is rooted in tradition and customs fails to recognize women’s existence
49
beyond it. Social stigma gets attached to women who remain single as a choice or chance
because marriage is the only way for their affiliation with the community.
Above mentioned experiences of the participants reveal that perception of society for single
women is mostly negative and it's often inferred from their singlehood that they have some
physical or psychological issues. With such kind of stigmatized perception single women often
tend to start isolating themselves from their parents, family, friends and put themselves under
a lot of mental and social pressure.
5.3 (c) Singlehood as ‘failure’
Most of the participants during their interview mentioned that no matter how good their
education is, how well they are earning and have reputed jobs and living a happy and satisfied
life all that society will judge them on is their marital statuses. A woman will not be considered
as ‘settled’ until she gets married and embraces motherhood. Since marriage, being a social
norm, is seen as a sanctified duty in Indian society therefore women who are single, no matter
how well they are doing in their lives, are made to feel like a ‘failure’ as they failed to adhere
to prescribed social norms.
Ms. NK opined:
“No matter how good I earn, how much I enjoy my life, my relatives would always be asking
my parents only one question- when will she settle down? I mean how else should one be
settled? I am very well aware of what I am doing with my life and if my parents and I are
perfectly fine with my decision of being single then why this unnecessary pressure from
society?”
Citing the example of a sports celebrity she further states:
“Once I was watching the interview of the great tennis player of India, Sania Mirza. Being
such a big celebrity in sports and earning such a big name and bringing so many laurels to
India, she was being asked by the reporter so when do you plan to settle down? This obviously
made her furious and she just replied that how more do you want me to be settled. It’s disheartening to see the hard work and efforts we put in to achieve our goals and aspirations are
overlooked by society and they try to project single women like me as a pity, dejected women
who have failed miserably in her life.”
50
Such a projection from society put undue pressure on immediate families of these single
women. Many of the participants mentioned that their parents and immediate family members
are happy and quite understanding pertaining to their decision of being single but when they
hear and see such negative projection from their relatives and society, they kind of start slipping
into the same zone. Ms. SV stated:
“Up to a certain age I was also worried about the fact that if I will not get married now maybe
I won’t be able to get a better spouse/partner later as it’s repetitively put in our minds that if
you cross the threshold of 30 years then you become ineligible for marriage and then it will be
more of a compromise. But after crossing 35, I introspected myself and realised I have been
thinking the wrong way. I should be thinking and doing what I feel is correct and I am comfortable doing rather than what society wants me to do. And here I am single, by choice and
happy and not a failure at all. But my parents get instigated by my relatives for getting me
married and they have to go through so much mental and social pressure that many times they
start thinking that I have failed them as parents. That becomes really a tough situation for me
to make them understand where my happiness lies and sometimes it makes me doubtful about
my decision.”
Reading the above-mentioned excerpts, it feels that despite being so well established
academically, financially and physically, these single women, though momentarily, surely
become doubtful of their accomplishments as it is not validated by the society. Such a
perception of society is also backed by study that states some women are perceived as
completely accomplished only if she is married irrespective of how much well educated and
well settled career she has (Sharp & Ganong, 2017). As theory of social constructionism
suggests that a belief or a social construct does not exist in isolation but is a result of human
perception and knowledge that is constructed and validated by continuous interaction within
the society and therefore impacting people’s preconceived notion of reality. Therefore, the
perception of women as a failure on grounds of remaining single over a certain age gets
attached to negative recognition which they gradually internalize and make it a part of their
lives. The above-mentioned experiences of women are indicative of the fact that meaning that
the society attaches to their singlehood projects her as a failure in the eyes of her family which
they start feeling might be correct as well.
51
Ms. RJ talking about singlehood as a failure in terms of monetary aspects stated:
“Though I am professionally settled, earn decent enough but my family is always pressurising
me to get married because they think I cannot take care of myself alone. Women’s income is
always considered secondary and supportive and it is man’s incomes that’s the primary source
of the finances and crucial for running a family. A single woman is definitely seen as a deviation in society as she fails to extend the lineage of the family”
No matter how well a woman establishes herself in terms of her career and finances society
cannot see her separate from the old age convention of marriage as it is a socially recognized
norm for leading a successful and blissful life. In a male dominated society like India single
women are drained of social, psychological, emotional, financial securities. They are equally
capable of performing tasks and giving results but they fall short on better opportunities.
5.3 (d) Singlehood as a parameter for judgement.
One of the reasons for considering singlehood as a deviation is the fact that single women are
seen quite differently from their married counterparts. Many of the participants did mention
about family pressure to get married but they also know where it is actually coming from.
Singlehood is never considered as a strength for women and they are always reminded by
society in different ways how unwanted their marital status in society is and one of the ways is
through assessing their personality and character. Single women are mostly seen as ‘available’
and hit upon by men. People do not take a second thought in pointing to single women as ‘loose
character’ as they have so many male friends. Since it’s a perception that single women do not
have any responsibilities and they earn and spend on themselves therefore, their spending too
comes under scrutiny.
A married woman is much more respected in Indian society and single women, irrespective of
their age and achievements, they are not given the same respect.
Ms. RJ stated:
“Just because I am single my colleagues in office themselves assume that I am ‘available’.
Many a times they ask me for a date. No one thinks of having a serious relationship because I
am divorced and a single mother. People make your singlehood as a reason for all the wrong
52
doings. If I fail to perform or underachieve a target I am told you do not know how to take
responsibility may be that’s the reason you have a failed marriage. It really hurts me listening
to such things. For promotions, I think I am at the end of the list because according to
management I stay alone and don’t have much responsibilities. Even once during a job
interview I was not been selected because of my singlehood. Being a single mother is a big
challenge and when you have to prove your worth and account for your singlehood it really
shakes your confidence somewhere.”
“For all socioeconomic groups, marriage was the most important marker of adulthood and
respectability.” (Coontz, 2004; p.g.977). Marriage has always been a parameter for division
of work basis age and gender. Byrne in one of his studies supported the notion that still the
most socially acknowledged and favoured means to achieve adulthood amongst women is
marriage which remains missing in single women making both their gender and adult identities
questionable. (Byrne, 2000). Unlike married women, single women have to provide justifications and explanation for their singlehood. The literature on single women also supports the
fact that single women are being questioned for their singlehood and are expected to provide a
reasoning for it (Reynolds & Wetherell, 2003). These women in order to get rid of and protect
themselves from strange questioning on their singlehood categorizes themselves as “involuntary singles”. Some of the participants in this study mentioned this strategy for self-protection.
Ms. RJ further added:
“People would come to me and my parents and say that there is some problem in your daughter, you need to work upon yourself because you may not be acceptable the way you are. I try
not to pay much heed to this but when people do not stop asking me you are above 35 why are
you not married yet, when are you planning to get married, I just tell them I want to get married
and it's up to God now, I have left everything to him. It really sorts my life. Willing to be in
relationship and putting reason for my singlehood to fate and god actually protects me from
justifying and providing explanation for why I am not married yet.”
Adding to this yet another participant Ms. AM says:
“For a country like India which is very punitive to single women, our women population face
more evils and challenges than the women in other countries. Irrespective of the country,
women are not safe. Women fight every single day, while some choose to remain silent, some
53
fight their way to lead a basic life with pride. I think one of the most annoying problems single
women face is that men think she is available hence they constantly try hitting. Every single
woman's life is so different if we compare a married one. As a single woman, I have to follow
all the instructions given by the society or by the family. Eg. A married woman will not have to
face any question if she is talking to any male colleague but a single woman will always have
to face many questions in the same matter.”
One common aspect about being judged by society that all the participants mentioned was their
‘characters’. Single women are presumed to have loose character and that is highlighted as the
underlying reason for her singlehood by society. Sexuality of single women is blatantly scrutinized by society. Single women who befriend male friends are observed by society as seductresses or desperate for having sexual relationships. In India, despite going towards a progressive path, women’s virginity becomes an important criterion for being chosen as someone’s
life partner. Being friends or dating males becomes the basis for single women’s character
certification. This perception becomes more problematic for widows and divorced women
because society thinks that to be illegitimate. And if women try to look out for a relationship
past their marriageable age, then that’s not acceptable by society and they are seen as desperate.
With such a perception of society towards single women, they are forced not to be open about
their friendly relations with men. They are therefore subject to several unnecessary questions
and enquiries from society and their families that even if they are willing to look for a suitable
match for themselves to settle down they refrain from discussing it due to fear of being
perceived as man hunters or desperate women.
Ms. RJ referring to her divorced status mentions:
“I am a divorcee and a single mother therefore I cannot have any male friends and if at all I
have them then I am a woman of loose character in the eyes of society. I often get advice from
my relatives, colleagues that you can only get married again either to a divorcee or to an old
aged man.”
Single women in Indian society are held responsible for their singlehood as they are seen as
women with questionable character. People often think that the reason women do not want to
enter into marriage is because they are selfish and want to enjoy their freedom and are not
mature enough to take responsibility. Such judgemental attitudes of society put these single
54
women in an uncomfortable position and they start isolating themselves from society and
sometimes from family and friends as well.
Singlehood as a
personal deficiency
Singlehood as socially
stigmatized identities
Meaning
attached to their
singlehood by
society
Singlehood as a
parameter for
judgement
Singlehood as ‘failure’
Source: Own research
5.4 COPING MECHANISM
Single women surely feel differentiated by society due to their marital status and the kind of
stigmas attached to it makes their lives really miserable and they find ways to cope with such
biases and prejudiced behaviour of society to keep themselves moving. During the interviews
for current study all the participants were very much vocal about the ways for coping with this
differential treatment by society. Sub themes that emerged under it were coping up with their
internal desire to marry, coping with external pressure.
5.4 (a) Managing internal desire to marry
Since singlehood is not an ultimate resort for all the participants, they do hope for getting the
right partner at the right time for marriage to happen. They have either left it to destiny or God
and showing patience for the best yet to happen to them.
55
Ms. RJ says:
“I have left it to destiny now. I don’t give it any deeper thoughts on why am I still single. God
has destined something better for me and I believe in whatever happens is for a reason as I am
not that keen on getting married. If I will get someone who I can be sure of spending my life
with I will not be hesitant in giving up my singlehood.”
Leaving things to God or destiny is also a way to do away with people’s question of why are
you still single at this age. In Indian society, there is a strong belief in God and it’s a saying
that marriages are destined in heaven therefore women are often seen shifting their liability of
not adhering to institution of marriage to religion and God to cope up with their interpersonal
conflict to get married and to give people a reason for their singlehood and grants themselves
peace in life.
Yet another participant Ms. NK highlighting her self- achievements as resort to her current
status quo mentions:
“In a self-conversation with myself I realise how accomplished I am in terms of my work, my
life and get confidence out of that I am going on the right path. I think just for being a mother,
marriage is not that important. I mean nowadays there are so many options of having a baby
without getting married. And if my financial status permits, I would really like to go for
adoption. And my present and future actually is and will not be the same had I been married.
My accomplishments might not have been valued that much as it's been done now due to my
singlehood.”
Marriage being a fulltime commitment that demands a massive amount of time and energy
therefore single women could not have pursued their careers and achievements if they were
married and even if they think that marriage could not be a hindrance in their accomplishments
then it is only possible with a supporting and understanding spouse.
Failed relations and marriages of others also many times provide some kind of solace to single
women as they find themselves away from its post traumas and sorrow. Ms. SV talking about
failed relations of her known people as her way of coping with society’s differential treatment
towards her singlehood says:
56
“Observing my friends and known people who have troubled or failed marriages I find myself
in a better position as a single. Comparing marriage with single I would rather see the
advantages more which I find in my singlehood. So, when I know I am at a better place than
what’s the point of getting bothered by society. And now at this age where I am very much
comfortable within my own space it will really be challenging to share it with someone else.
Marriage is all about adjustments and compromises. And if the compromises do not go well
then you fall for a failed marriage and again a stigma would get attached to you. So, I am
happy with my single life.”
If marriages lack compatibility they might end up in separation or divorce and the havoc that
it causes in women’s life could be mentally and physically draining. Seeing such a post effect
of a failed relationship single women find themselves in a much better position and at peace
and that really helps them cope up with the differential treatment they get from the society.
5.4 (b) Managing external pressure from family.
Being instigated by relatives and other known people, families of single women starts exerting
pressure on them for getting married main source being their parents. During interview, many
participants revealed about the pressure their family observe due to their singlehood. They are
mainly concerned about their future. On asking how they deal with such situation their common
answer was to make their parents understand about how contented and satisfied their lives as
single are. These single women believe that if parents see their children happy in their present
status quo then their worries reduce a little. And about the relatives they have started giving
back to them and stop attending family gatherings. These are some of similar ways of coping
up with pressure of marriage coming from family.
Ms.SV said:
“Initially I used to get tensed seeing my parents worry. But then gradually I realised it’s my
parents who are actually concerned with me and not others. So, one fine day I made them
understand my concerns and told them I do not long for any relationship which I am not sure
of. And they did understand my point. Now if anyone asks them about my marriage they simply
reply to them when time will come she will get married. Seeing them standing up for me boosted
my confidence and gave me courage to face the society.”
57
Ms. RJ said:
“To ignore is my strategy. First I do not let people enter my personal space and talk to me
about my singlehood. There have been times when discussions about my singlehood did not go
well. And if people still give their expert and unwanted opinions it falls on deaf ears. I ignore
all negative comments I keep getting from people but it really hurts when people start judging
you without even knowing you. I personally think that no one should judge anyone’s life based
on their own.”
Ms. NK mentioned that she gets really angry when she comes across negative comments from
people and passes judgement about her without even knowing about the hardships and
challenges that she has faced in life. Whether or not it is in someone’s personal interest no one
has the right to judge a person’s life and her choices.
“Whenever my relatives or families try to start a conversation about my marriage I either go
away from that place or I divert the topic. I do not want to listen to someone commenting
negatively about my status and present status quo. That makes me feel that my life is useless
and a burden for my parents. Such kind of pressure becomes unavoidable sometimes and it
could actually trigger you to make some wrong decisions in life. So, it’s better not to hear such
comments about yourself and stay happy.”
Ms. AR2 who is working in berlin says:
“One of the reasons I do not want to go back to India is to stay away from the pressure of
getting married. So, my reason to come to Berlin is this only. You can call it my coping
mechanism. I have now made it very clear to my parents that I am a happy single and when I
will have the perfect partner myself I would surely get hitched. I personally avoid talking to
people who interrogate me about my singlehood and are more than interested in knowing why
I am single yet. So, I stopped answering my relative’s calls, and stopped attending family
functions. That’s the best possible way I see to get away from the pressure of getting married
from your family and relatives”
Depending upon a woman's patience their ways of dealing with stigmas attached to their
singlehood and pressure of getting married varies. Avoiding social gatherings like marriage
ceremonies and restricting communication with people is one of the common ways that single
58
women resort to. Such ceremonies see single women as deviation from ideal and becomes a
breeding ground for people’s enquiry about reason for their singlehood. Such social gatherings
put women in an uncomfortable position of accounting for their choices they made in life to
someone who is not at all relevant in their lives. So, avoiding such gathering and people keeps
them away from social scrutiny of their single identity.
Managing internal desire
to marry
Coping
Mechanism
Managing external
pressure from family.
Source: Own research
5.5 Discussion
The analysis of the results suggests that participant’s lived experience of singlehood is quite
complex and contradictory to what they perceive it to be and is seen as a deviation in Indian
society. Corresponding to extending literature on singlehood (Dales and Addie & Brownlow,
2014; Wang & Abbott, 2013) the participants for this study from urban set up of Indian society
focussed on the positive aspect of being single in terms of freedom, independence, self-reliance, autonomy in their experience of being a single woman. They valued their personal
existence and accomplishments which is in absence of any male counterpart or spouse. Being
masters of their own lives and carving their own journeys these women somehow lose
confidence in themselves and have to face disappointment by the way society treats them.
Despite being self-sufficient to spend a decent life they are always seen through and judged
through their marital status. What makes their status deviant in society are the societal approach
59
and treatments. Though they feel their careers to be self-sufficient for adding meaning to their
lives but they are treated as deviant and considered as unimportant and less respected by
society.
Present study reveals that single women are very well aware about the positives and negatives
of being single, and positives over powers the negatives according to them and therefore no
regrets. However, both the literature review and findings of this study highlights that single
women are still prone to prejudice and differential treatment by society in comparison to their
married counterparts and they still feel pressured to get married just to adhere to the social
norm.
Their self-perception of singlehood is in complete contrast with how they are actually treated
by society. They see themselves as reliant, independent and capable enough to provide
themselves with a good life ahead but the fact is that all single women are assumed possessing
similar characteristics and attributes and are seen from a negative perspective therefore, making
them feel as deviant or “tainted” (Goffman, 1963, p. 3). Categorized as a stigmatized group,
single women choose to internalize these negative beliefs about them just to get away with
people’s constant poking about their single identity This internalization ultimately results in
shame (Goffman, 1963). As in the present study few of the participants mentioned about their
experience of being treated and viewed by society as having something wrong in them. With
such a judgemental attitude of society, single women therefore refrain themselves from
opening up much about their singlehood.
All the women interviewed for this study belonged to similar socio-economic classes as the
sample were finalised through snowball sampling technique. However, despite differences
among the women in lines of age, region, religion, prior relationship history, and other factors,
findings were remarkably homogeneous, reflecting a similarity in the way they perceive their
singlehood and how it is considered a deviation in Indian society
In the current study, singlehood emerged as a diverse experience ending in more or less similar
outcomes. The various experiences of single women came in all together as mentioned by
Paterson and Zderad as “All-at-once” (Paterson and Zderad, 1976). If being single brings
freedom and independence to these women it simultaneously makes them realise of staying
alone and sometimes lonely when there is an emotional crisis. But these women are quite
60
satisfied and happy with their singlehood status however, they are also aware of the fact that
they are considered deviant by society and are even vocal about how to cope with it.
Advancement, construction, reconstruction of such stigmatized notions reinforces injustice and
preconceived ideologies that acts as a framework for analysing the righteousness of the person.
Also, these reinforced ideologies of stigmas and prejudices which are operational at
subconscious level, points out what is admissible and what is not at societal level. While
women relish the fact that their singlehood has given them an opportunity to work upon their
personal development but society sees them as women with fast and loose character and
incomplete as they did not embrace motherhood. Where single women find pride in being
self-reliant and surviving independently without any male support in this patriarchal society,
society sees them with pity and disrespect as respect is only sought by getting married. Though
the result of this study shows how single woman perceive their singlehood which is reflective
of their lived experiences, it is also a matter of truth that all women have a unique journey of
their singlehood and these results should only serve as guiding parameter to understand the
position of single women in Indian society and how they should be approached ideally.
5.6 Limitations of the current study
Current study is qualitative in nature which focuses on studying how single women perceive
their singlehood and how they experience and cope with society’s perception of their single
identity. There are enlisted reasons for qualitative being one of the best approaches to study a
phenomenon and have its own strengths as a methodological tool, however it has its limitations
too. In qualitative studies a researcher is restricted to certain specified variables and therefore
does not have much control over understanding the effect other variables will have on the
study. In current study, there was no control on factors like socioeconomic background of the
family, economic capital of the family, interpersonal relations, family equation etc. which
could have impacted the identified themes as a whole. The way the entire study has been designed, the results are restricted to a selected population and therefore cannot be generalized to
a large population.
The themes that have been identified in this study are in response to lived experiences of the
participants and are therefore limited to their own lives and cannot be universalized to other
single women and is not representative of the all single women population of India. As the
61
study was exploratory in nature and sample size was quite selective and small therefore there
was no control group to compare participant’s experiences. Due to the nature of the study
interviews were conducted by researcher herself that could result in researcher bias. Further
the sampling technique adopted was purposive and snowball sampling therefore there could be
possibility of selection bias as well and respondents belonging to same demographical setup
could have resulted in homogeneity of data. Since the interviews were conducted during
complete lockdown phase due to corona pandemic, there could have been variation in
responses of the participants as staying completely alone could have impacted the thought
process of the respondents towards their singlehood.
Yet another limitation of the study is that rural, lower socioeconomic class and homosexual
women were underrepresented in this study that could have impacted itthe results of the study.
The study cannot also be generalized because of the type of theoretical framework adopted for
this study. Participants could have not furnished complete or could have provided incorrect
details about their lived experiences due to fear of being judged.
Though there are limitations to this study, the use of semi structured in-depth interview
technique in qualitative study provided an opportunity to get rich and detailed information
about participants' own lived experience. Further the study included women from different age
groups and not just unmarried but widow, divorced and separated women were also the part of
the study.
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Chapter 6
Implications, Recommendations & Conclusion
This chapter will highlight the implications of study, recommendations for future research and
conclusion.
6.1 Implications of the study
Single womanhood is considered a deviation in Indian society as they fail to adhere to certain
social norms which society assumes are critical in leading a healthy and happy social life.
Social norms are created from within the society by social actors like people, organizations,
institutions, Individuals. These social actors are equally capable of changing and influencing
social norms. If a change is brought in the way society perceives and treats single women it
may help in bringing their identity in a positive frame. This change starting at individual level
can further reach to group, organizational and at societal level can be transformed into policies
that can prove crucial in upliftment of single women from a marginalized and stigmatized state
to a recognized and respectable state.
This study could have potential to make a small contribution in bringing a positive change in
society by creating awareness about how positive and cheerful women feel about their
singlehood. To counter stigmatization and discrimination against single women at societal level
is through promoting and facilitating single women in establishing their positive social identity.
There should be a reconstruction of the identity of single women providing a multifaceted
identity rather than having a ‘deviant’ one and this is possible through social change. Society
should start treating them as normal individuals rather than suspecting them of having deficit
identities.
This study can further be helpful in providing a better understanding of the way they are treated
by society and the way they expect to be treated. This might be of therapeutic importance as
well and can help psychological health workers who medically assist single women along with
counselling professionals.
Lastly such an approach can be informative and meaningful for cohorts of women who are,
were and want to be single.
63
6.2 Recommendations for future research
This section will focus on recommendation from two aspects. One from the aspect of future
course of research and the second would be recommendations for establishing positive identity
of single women in Indian society.
6.2 (a) Recommendations for future researches.
One of the important aspects of exploratory study is to highlight the areas that further needs to
be explored and researched. Since singlehood amongst women is a vast topic to explore, several
avenues can be recommended for future research.
One of the areas which can be explored further is to have a comparison of life experiences of
women who were single but then got married. It could be interesting to see how they define
their own singlehood in relation to their married life. Also, it could be interesting to study the
experience of homosexual single women. Are they in more challenging situations as they have
to face dual stigma in Indian society?
Yet another recommended prospect to be explored should be the study about single women in
rural India. Since rural areas have different social and mental set up therefore it could be of
interest to researchers to examine how single rural women are viewed by society? What are
their challenges in comparison to their counterparts in urban set up? Also, a comparative study
of singlehood amongst men and women could be another aspect to be focussed on in order to
see if gender inequality is responsible for stigmatization of single women in India.
This study conducted interviews with single women who were single either by choice or due
to circumstances. Though they all have to come across similar behaviour by society but with
varied intensity. Since women who are widowed or separated from their husband observed
both coupledom and singlehood therefore it could be a potential area for further research to
find out how they compare both phases of their lives and if being single again has facilitated
their personal growth and development.
On a macro level government of India is coming up with various measures and policies to
provide single women with assistance and equal opportunities and empowering them, but
knowing how deeply gender inequality is rooted in patriarchal set up of Indian society there
emerges a need for collaboration of policy makers and research workers for recognizing the
64
challenges faced by them at micro and macro level and designing a framework which is best
suited for their betterment.
It would also be interesting to understand how parents of older adults perceive their singlehood
and how they cope up with the stigmas and differential treatment by society. Also, existing
literature on single womanhood have mentioned that due to prejudiced and differential treatment by society single women suffer mental and physical illness. Does it also have psychological and physical impact on their parents and how do single women resort to this stress can be
a potential topic to have research on.
Lifelong singlehood amongst women can be a potential area for future research. A comparative
analysis of their perceptions about singlehood in their mid-life and old age can be studied to
see if there is a perception difference.
6.2 (b) Recommendations for establishing a positive identity of single women in Indian
society
Single identity of women that is considered a deviation in Indian society needs to be
reconstructed and established as a normal and justified lifestyle. On the basis of findings of this
study the following recommendations are suggested:
❖ At macro level, the government should have better policies and laws for betterment
and protection of single women. They should be assured financial and social assistance from the government which could make them feel secure.
❖ Media should be more focussed on projecting the struggle and deviant status of
single women to make people aware of existence of unwanted social stigma and
discrimination against single women.
❖ Efforts should be made at individual level to respect the personal space of single
people
and
to
not
judge
them
based
on
their
marital
status.
❖ In Indian households, it is very common practice to feed in a girl child’s mind since
her childhood that her ultimate goal in life is getting married. Every work more or
less is reasoned with her being married one day. This needs to be stopped. They
65
should not be made to believe that their birth as a female is just to get married and
bear a child.
❖ Since Indian society is a male dominated society, therefore women do not have any
property rights in their parental property as its by default the son’s right. This needs
to be rectified as having equal rigts in their parental property will provide them a
secured future and that would take away their worries of being looked after in
ageing days.
❖ Government should promote and invest in adult education as single women who
were not able to continue their education due to unavoidable circumstances should
have an opportunity to attain quality education that can prove an asset for their
career growth.
❖ Since there is limited literature available on this issue therefore researchers need to
bring forth and present findings on women singlehood in India so that it is
recognized as a social issue and attracts public attention.
6.3 Conclusion
Single womanhood is still considered as stigmatized and deviation In Indian society that puts
single women in a vulnerable position. Though India is a progressive nation which is constantly
working towards urbanization and modernization but still the identity of a single woman is
marginalized and is always questioned and calls for an explanation. In a societal context where
marriage and married people are privileged, family and motherhood are ideal social types for
a woman, it becomes quite a challenge for single women to establish their positive identity.
The purpose of this qualitative grounded theory study was to evolve a theory that explains how
do single women perceive their singlehood and how do they think it’s a deviation in Indian
society. Narratives of nine single women from different parts of India were collected through
semi- structured in-depth telephonic interviews and were analysed using Charmz’s constant
comparative method to compare data within and between the interviews. Open –ended
questions were used to get maximum inputs from the participants about their lived experience
of single women. To reach more concrete results the age group of the participants was from
66
35- 60 years. After analysing the data three major themes emerged that led to the development
of theory that explained how single women perceive their singlehood and how they think it’s
a deviation in Indian society.
Though society’s conduct attempts to disparage the identity of single women and therefore
makes singlehood challenging due to non-presence of a supportive system or a collective
approach to cope with disparagement. Nonetheless women in present study have rendered
positive meaning to their singlehood. The analysis of data collected from the participants lead
to identification of three major themes each having specific aspects under them that women
shared through their interviews. Major themes that were developed were Woman’s self-perception of their singlehood, Meaning attached to singlehood by society and their Coping
mechanism .
All the participants hold a very positive perception about their singlehood and have used the
terms as self-sufficient, free bird, independent etc. Being aware of the advantages and disadvantages of being single the participant’s data revealed that singlehood is an adjustment and a
compromise between their freedom and being alone. Emotional outbreaks sometimes make
them feel alone but at the same time they think it cannot come at the cost of their own free
personal space. They see their singlehood as means to their independent and free life and give
them satisfaction and happiness and is not actually symbolic of grief or loss. Being single meant
for them to live alone and not lonely.
But the lived experience of a single woman in terms of interaction with society turns to be
contradictory to their self -perception and therefore puts them under the light of being deviant
and stigmatized. The second theme that emerged is the meaning attached to singlehood by
society. Society treats their singlehood as some sort of personal deficiency and therefore their
existence is being questioned and stigmatized. Irrespective of the fact that how well settled
single women are with regards to their career they are still seen as failure by society and have
to undergo a lot of pressure to be ‘settled’ by getting married. Society therefore uses their
singlehood as a yardstick to judge their personality and character which is under constant
scrutiny and questioning by society.
The third theme that came up was the coping mechanism. Participants were very much keen
on looking for means to establish their positive identity in society and therefore mentioned
67
their resorts to cope up with imposed identity of deviant and stigmatized person. The major
aspect that emerged was to cope with both internal and external pressure. Internal being their
own desire to be in a married relationship and external being the pressure from family and
friends.
The findings of current study can be viewed as a measure to establish positive identity of single
women in Indian society and to make an attempt to build up a notion that single womanhood
is not a deviation and therefore deserve equal respect and advantages as married women do.
Society where institution of marriage is considered as an important and ideal means for human
growth and contentment, absence of it could result in marginalization and stigmatization which
is mostly gender and age based. Women who cross the threshold of ideal age of marriage set
up by society have faced stigmas and prejudiced behaviour however no such pattern is applicable to their male counterparts. Being single has been the strength of the participants of the
current study however the way society perceive them is what puts them in deviant category
and puts them in a vulnerable position. With a progressive state of mind and modernizing
approach perception of single women is transforming but the change is negligible and needs to
be on a macro level. With government introducing more benefits and policies for the
betterment of single women and companies providing equal opportunities and benefits to single
women can help in establishing their positive identity. The need of the hour is to embrace and
acknowledge single womanhood and treat them as a part of the society rather than treating
them as a deviant group. It’s time to believe in single women’s belief of singlehood as a means
to contentment and personal growth.
68
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Appendix A
Interview Questions – Open ended
1. Since it’s the lockdown period going on in India , so how are your days going ?
(Follow up questions : How do you plan your day, What do you do on weekends?
Do you see a difference in your day to day life as compared to those during before
lock down ?)
2. What do you think how do people perceive you as a person in your day to day life
and what it the most intresting thing that you heared about yourself ?
3. So What kind of job profile are you into ? (Follow- up questions: Whats the thing
that you like most and least about your job? What are your future plans with regard
to job/career? Does being single impacts your job or not ?
4. How would you describe yourself as a single woman ? – How does it feels to be
single at your age – Have you been single always?
5. What do you like to do when you are not working ?How does your being single
impact your choices of things you do when you are not working ?
6. What do you like most about our life being a single and what you dislike the most
about it ?
7. Considering how conservative Indian society is, do you think your being single is a
challenge for you ? What are the kind of challenges that you have to come across in
day to day life ?
8.
How
is
your
single
status
being
-Family
-Friends
-Office colleagues
- Relatives /Neighbours/acquaintance
83
percieved
by
the
following
;
9. In continuation to question 7 , how do you respond to them? Is there a answer
that you have found so far about the question ‘Howcome you are still single
at this age’?
10. Do you intend to be single throughout your life or you are looking for a
commited relationship?
11.
Is
single
womanhood
perceived
diffrently
from
single
manhood?
12. How different do you think is your life in comparison to those who are not single,
are into a relationship/married ?
13. How do you think such kind of mindset of the society towards single woman, if it
exists, could be changed or made positive ?
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Appendix B
Participant’s Demographic Information Form
1.Name
: ________________________
2.Age
: ________________________
3.Occupation
: ________________________
4. City
:_________________________
5. Marital status (Unmarried/divorced/separated/widow):
___________________________________________
6. Highest Level of Education Completed (Bachelors, Masters, Doctorate, Other – please specify):
_______________________________________________
Consent
Post receiving a verbal confirmation for participating in the study ‘Is single womanhood perceived a
deviation in India?’ the researcher is seeking your written permission to allow her to audio record the
interview as a part of this study. The recording will be kept at a safe location with the researcher and
will be deleted post completion of the study. Also in the study your initials would be used instead of
your full name to maintain the confidentiality.
Do you agree to be a part of this study and give your consent for the above-mentioned requirements?
Yes/No: ______________________
85
astha bhatt