did anyone else see that seal that just ended up on the street in connecticut

whos album cover is this

new haven police department

can you not read?

compared myself to people my age who are so much farther ahead in life than me

And? It dosen't fucking matter. Life aint a race, if it were the only finish line would be death.

Stop obsessing about where you aren't. You're missing the stuff going on where you are.

I am 36 years old and I'll be 37 in a few months. I have just recently started to understand life and myself. I don't own a house. My car is a beater. I work a lot and I'm still not ahead because I'm coming from so far behind. I am getting there though. It's never too late to turn it around and make the changes you need to. Some people are going to do better than you, some are going to do worse. Their life isn't yours though, so be happy for them and work on your own. It's a matter of perspective and if you're doing better tomorrow than you were yesterday, you're doing fine.

I was 57 when we bought our first house. Do I feel like a failure? Not at all.

You can only reblog this today! Next time Thursday 20 will follow Wednesday 19 will be in 2439!

i can't wait to be 30+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 40+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 50+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 60+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 70+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 80+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 90+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to look back on my life and know that i loved things deeply and passionately and was inspired to create and was part of communities with incredible people from all over the world brought together by the stories that touched us

Here is the secret to fandom:

Give zero fucks about what anyone else is doing.

Seriously.  I mean it.  Because inevitably you will love something that no one else loves.  Or you will love something that everyone loves and people will shit all over it because it’s “so trite and unimaginative and done.” Or you will love something that no one else has ever heard of.  Or you will love something dark and edgy and or obscure and people will roll their eyes and say, “What, do you want people to think you’re dark and edgy and obscure?”

Alternatively, you will not love the thing that everyone else loves, and you will wonder what precisely is wrong with you that the sight of that thing is aggravating the shit out of you now when the whole world sings its praises as one.

People will irritate you.  They’ll irritate you with headcanons that make no sense and misinterpretations of canon.  They will make the same jokes 500 times.  They will overwhelm your corner of fandom with something you either are tired of hearing about or don’t care about.  They will post art that isn’t theirs.  You will meet people who think you are the greatest person ever and bombard you with messages  only to wander off when they find someone new or shinier; you will meet people whom you admire and who do not really seem to notice you exist. 

So give zero fucks about it.  Seriously.  Like what you like, blacklist what you need to blacklist, and ignore everything else.  Be friends, play nice, enjoy it.  And in the meantime, just do you.  Like what you like, love what you love, and to hell with all the rest of it. 

My therapist just told me my problem is that I need to write more fanfiction.

This sounds fake but the logic behind it is actually really interesting? She said obsession with a new fandom triggers quick dopamine release when we consume all this related content--it's easy and addictive.

What we're NOT getting is that 'slow dopamine' that's more sustainable and engaging. That's the kind we get from DOING things that take effort but are ultimately rewarding.

So like, she suggested that writing fic and making fanart are ways to balance the quick dopamine of watching a show/reading fic with the slow dopamine of working at something that takes effort.

Moral of the story is you should engage in the process of creation around your favorite things. You'll feel better for it.

Oh.

OH.

Please don’t let fandom ruin something you love. Walk away and unfollow the fans and enjoy the thing by yourself, or find a limited circle of people who ignore the discourse, or get your irl friends into the thing and collectively ignore the Internet community, or blacklist from here to the moon if you need to and only ever scroll through your rarepair ship’s tag on AO3. But don’t let fandom distort a show or a movie or a book or a comic you used to love so badly that you can’t enjoy the original anymore. Please. It isn’t worth it.

The best recent fandom I’ve been in lately has been a discord group of less than a dozen people. My bff and I send fanfics and fanart just to each other and we’ve been having so much fun, just like how fandom used to be. And it sucks that I had to go paywall, but things got a LOT better once I started posting fandom-only art to my patreon. You find ways to make it work.

Some people are never going to accept that they don’t get to dictate how other people enjoy media.

When the new fresh drama[tm] hits the fandom of the thing you enjoy and now the thing itself is proclaimed irredeemably bad, but you dont care because your enjoyment of the thing is in no way connected to what other people in-fandom do.

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I cant never relate to something so hard

Lel.

Amen! Like what you like and enjoy what makes you happy and ignore the negitive. I’m so tired of people getting on me about what I like due to the fandom. I love it so they can just leave it be!

a few reminders because i’m tired and angry

feel free to add more

THE WAY I SPED TO HIT REBLOG-

Also if an author writes about problematic stuff doesn’t instantly mean they agree with that stuff

fandom as a whole is migrating away from a mutual appreciation of a story and towards an endless cycle of nitpicking and discourse and frankly that’s just Exhausting

Its just an endless stream of “you’re doing it wrong”. You’re reading this wrong, you’re appreciating this character wrong, you’re appreciating this character too much, you’re not appreciating this character enough, its not enough that I don’t like this pairing but it’s wrong to like it, you’re enjoying this wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

And honestly it’s just tiring.

Personal take: it’s empathy versus righteousness.

Empathy allows for understanding and compassion for people that may differ from you. It’s better at “reading the room”. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re always sympathetic and excuse bad agents, but you don’t get caught up in the chaos of arguing every little thing at every given opportunity. You express your beliefs and then move on. Empathy shows that your emotionally aware enough to understand where to expel your energy. And in most cases, expelling negative energy on something shallow, is in my opinion, a colossal waste of time.  

Righteousness on the other hand is self-involved. It’s preoccupied with attempting to conform everything to a singular perspective and gaining control, even when the control was never theirs to begin with. Righteousness is what convinces people that whatever wrong they do is justified. They leave no grace for anyone else. These are people that will attack the things you love in an effort to weaken you. They will insinuate horrible, untrue things about your character in an effort to ostracize you. They will even go so far as to try to emotionally blackmail or threaten others in an attempt to feel that they have some sense of ownership or territory. The righteous are small and narrow-minded. In the end, they lose control over everything and everyone. If they don’t learn to open up and show others empathy, they will be left behind. 

Choose grace, compassion, peace and productivity.

Choose empathy.

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.

i'll stop bitching about world issues when

1) genocides end

2) we have solved the fact that we are currently living through an actual apocalypse and even if you're privileged enough to not notice we are

and im sick of folks dog whistling that they're "sick of everyone talking about politics" when they really mean that they don't care about their brothers and their sisters. i hate talking like a hippie but i don't know how to make people understand that people in other countries are Just Like Them.

"You can never enjoy anything while there are bad things happening. Even if you personally can't stop the bad things, you must spend every waking moment of your entire life being absolutely miserable while contemplating the bad things. If you have a moment of happiness, you are helping evil." - the puritans and insufferable modern-day twits