itch.io

Congrats on all the progress! It seems you've been up to a lot these past few months and it seems to be paying off! You've def made a lot of progress on your art and it's so cool to see!

I found this game through one of the VN reddits (iirc the VNdev one?) and im ngl from the moment i laid eyes on it i instantly knew this story would be something i'd enjoy and HAD to try out (also man this artstyle,,, not only is it pretty and colorful and zany but also it's an artstyle i am begging to see more of oh my god).

Going to update this as I go (and putting everything under a cut so no spoilers show but also im a very longwinded person so i very much apologize in advance if i come off as overwhelming) but gosh-:

-The opening scene? Is so pretty? And really feels like it's taken straight out of an anime? But there's also this nice, potent, ominous hint of something that im gobbling up right away and i like that there's just this eensy-teensy suggestion that we're maybe going to loop back to what Sonny "forgot" persay

-Sonny's and Hawk's designs are so cool!!! I'm not sure your team's exact inspiration for their designs, but they remind me of the kind of characters you'd find in kid's shounen anime (my favorite genre of anime! i.e. like Buddyfight, Yugioh, Puzadora Cross, etc!). For that alone im already so in love with this visual novel and where it's going

-...I say that, and now im seeing this REALLY COOL MONSTER DESIGN POP UP ON SCREEN? HELL YEAH??? devs i think you have extremely good taste in monster design because HOLY SHIT THAT IS BOTH SO PRETTY AND SO EERIE AT THE SAME TIME AND I AM VERY HAPPILY ADMIRING THE ELDRITCH-NESS OF THIS THING IT'S SO COOL

-like seriously no joke the colors in this design, the way swirls are used to capture its eyes, the way it feels as if it's staring into my soul in this really unnerving way...GOD im SUCH a fan. It's this perfect blend of creepy and uneasy and frighteningly beautiful and ngl ive been staring at each image of this scene for like five minutes straight admiring the designwork gfhjgfhj

-the fucking WHACK though. I cackled in a "oh this story is SO up my alley" kind of way instantly

-as someone who CRAVES the aesthetic of kid's shounen anime matched with a more mature tone (to the point im currently working on VN projects myself of this nature ahaha), this story is already shaping up to be the kind of story I'd always hoped to see someone write!! And i'm just like five minutes in so honestly color me obsessed with what im seeing so far!

-im going to probably keep saying it but i LOVE the artstyle. I love the vibe of it, I love the prettiness of it, I LOVE how much creativity that's been inputted in the designs to make them pop in a way that really catches the eyes

-Sam's design,,, woah he's so cool,,,, 

-really interesting how you choose to introduce characters, correlating them with various sound effects that really put emphasis on their appearance. 

-Sonny's horrified face at connecting the dots between what happens with Hawk vs. what happens with Fran...oh yeah im REALLY liking the atmosphere here <3 <3 <3

-NO IT ENDS THERE???? DAMMIT NOOOOOO I WANTED TO SEE WHERE THIS WAS GOING OTL

well, i gotta say, devs, you've already got me hooked!! im definitely going to look forward to late 2024 then and see what happens next! Especially since this story is so so SO up my alley with the way you've set up the potential nightmare fuel of this setting alongside the way the cast already pops out to me is just,,, gosh im so excited to see what's coming next and will definitely follow for updates :Dc

I played a bit of the demo (and might update this if I continue) and, having been lured into trying the demo due to (ironically) the bad comments given to it, I find myself agreeing on quite a few sentiments while still thinking this can turn out to be a really cool game

Some commentary of things i've noticed/would hope the creators listen to (and bear with me because im longwinded about things that happen to catch my eye lol. also it's midnight so im sure this doesnt' read as smoothly as id like lmao):

1.-The animations test my patience. I knew going into this that they were either going to be laggy or drawn out, and while both are DEFINITELY true, I think some of them were a bit neat. 

The moving up of the curtains, the little sidescroll that reveals the axolotl butler (im assuming as an easter egg referring to a creator? as iirc an axolotl figure was shown at some point as a icon of sorts for someone working on this project? or maybe im misremembering lol). the little jumps of the feet (which, while awkwardly created because the bounces seem out of place, im realizing as i write now they're meant to represent Jane hopping to try and see the condition of her feet) ...i all like these as they add something neat. 

Plus, the little details of various things like the stars ominously gleaming in the love interest's eyes in the very beginning as they ask the player questions was an atmospheric touch i quite enjoyed (and in general, the love interests asking the player questions when they began the story IMMEDIATELY stole my interest as setting up the exact kind of enigmatic tone i CRAVE in stories)

I think cutting back on the animations and only using them when necessary (such as showing Jane's feet hopping as she tries to check her feet or the unraveling of the curtains to look out the window vs. the constant zooming here and there in the carriage to various shots of the window etc.) would really be a boon more than a bane as, after a certain point, the animations overstay their welcome and become more of an eyesore than something that adds impressive visual touches to the game

2. - I'm torn on Jane's speech pattern. On one hand, I do agree that her speech is awkward and unnatural. I think it stills fits her in terms of showing she's neurodivergent as the creators intended, but unfortunately the stilted (is that the word?) way she talks makes her hard to grow fond of as a character, especially when she makes comments that sound more like a callback to isekai romance novels than actual thoughts a person should be having (i say this as someone who greatly enjoys isekai romance stories lol).

I know the cushions being discussed and hyperfixated on has a been a point of soreness for other reviewers. I think it actually works...you just need to put more emphasis on what the cushions mean to Jane. There's a particular line she makes about the cushions providing her a sense of safety (...or something like that) that really stuck out to me as i was playing. Her fixating on the cushions as a source of comfort, while tossed in as a one-liner, actually makes her interesting to me as a character. If you play that up some more, correlating her fixation on the cushions with a sense of safety from this awful situation, i think you'd find your audience would sympathize with her more for her cushion obsession than being annoyed for it

Also, I think her speech pattern works, but you have to tone down on the references to typical storybook tropes or at least find some way for her speech to read more naturally. She doesn't come off as a serious character in a serious situation: yet it feels as if the story WANTS this to come off as a serious situation. Which is annoying!! Especially because I never felt as if the humor of her words reached me (though i did get a trace of feeling amused, the humor feels flat and forced and while i can't put a finger as to why, i think it's maybe the oversaturation of jokes and callbacks that makes me uninterested in the humor the VN seems to be dishing out. That, and the fact I feel disconnected from Jane).

3. The story feels lacking in realism in how Jane reacts + making a connection between her and the audience. As i've only seen the carriage scene + a little after, i don't know how the story progresses, but i can admit it offputs me that Jane keeps making jokes about her situation, making light of her various ailments (the ragged clothes, the unresponsive driver, her horrid condition) and seeming unrealistically unbothered by what is happening around her. I think if we got hints Jane was making light of her situation to try and stave off fear and confusion (such as dropping a rare stutter to hint at her being in fear or having her question her reality here and there in a more nuanced way so as to hint at her ever-lasting confusion) that would make players feel more connected to her and why she's making light of such a seeming horrific situation.

I will say though, I quite enjoy her personality and how it bounces off of Servant. I think that is the one time her personality seems to work and makes her enjoyable, especially since Servant either seems to be humoring her or enjoying her commentary genuinely. So I think in this case her personality works for what the creators seem to be achieving, and i don't think this needs to be changed as her being wary of Servant while acting awkward works in the narrative's favor (and maybe since she has someone to talk to that hasn't openly shown her any sort of hostility but instead they've shown her a bit of warmth, that explains why she takes to Servant fast despite being dubious of them and their intentions?)

4. The art is good. I definitely agree! Though I have to wonder why the artstyle suddenly changes to a different one when Jane is looking out the carriage for a moment. The artwork - while beautiful! and a cool more realistic take on Jane! - seems out of place and took me out of my immersion of the story as it didn't match with the normal artstyle and there seemed to be no given reason why the artstyle would change in that one part only (but if it's a placeholder artwork, or if there is an intentional reason for changing the artstyle there, then don't mind this thought!).

5. I like the ideas you've got going on here! I think there's really a lot of hidden potential with this story. It's a really neat idea that pays homage to the genre it's inspired by and i'd really like to see it with more depth coaxed into Jane alone. She's supposed to the viewpoint character, and yet it's easy to feel disconnected from her. I'm neurodivergent myself but I can't find myself rooting for her when she herself feels detached from the situation she's in. 

If she reacted more reasonably to it (a la dropping hints that Jane is masking her potential feelings of fear and confusion with lighthearted jokes and fixation on cushions to stave off unwanted feelings of doom and gloom), I think players would easily see themselves in her shoes and root for her as their chosen villainess rather than feel like her speech is fed through a machine (which I don't feel like that's what's happened here...Jane's words read awkwardly but it's like...a diamond in the rough kind of awkward? Like a lot of tell not show? And maybe using her stilted speech as a way to show depth to her - a la how she might be  "masking" her true thoughts and feelings and using her off way of speaking as a way to comfort herself? - would make her speech feel less weird and more like an intentional choice on the behalf of the creators as a nod to her neurodivergency (...if that makes sense bc my head is hurting trying to articulate thoughts this late at night lmao))

Again!! ive only played to the carriage scene + a little after meeting Servant. I don't know if I'll progress based on the fact idk if i want to keep testing my own patience but i like the potential this game has! It can easily become a very good and interesting visual novel but I think working on making Jane more relatable based on her situation and cutting back on animations would go a looooong ways in creating a story that makes people want to fall in love with it!

Took me a bit because my progress has been annoyingly slow but I finally managed to reach one of the (several, I see, looking at that funny little guide you posted recently) endings! 

shoving this underneath the cut off bc i learned my lesson with spoilers lol

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And man! I really feel like you nailed the feeling of "finale"! This was a nice way of wrapping up all the remaining questions and loose ends of the first parts before it. Getting answers to the truth of T's death (damn it makes sense in hindsight but at the same time, ouch) as well as seeing Q reveal himself to Milo (and the subsequent fallout of that) was so neat to see! Milo is such a fun character too,, i loved seeing more of their relationship with some of the other characters (and their petty vexation towards the Reader was just fghjgfhjf). And also Iris!! Man am I weak for mean characters (and characters named Iris, apparently). She's rude as hell but man does that make her fun whenever she's on-screen gfhgjgjf

I like the Reader scene too!! The Reader looks so cool (i love the design so much,,, pink characters are so pretty) and I loved her scene with doing the funny little mind trick on Q to test his loyalty (i live for those types of scenes in fantasy stuff ngl). And the exploration scenes were really interesting too! I loved the addition of them to progress the story, really made it feel as if i was exploring around alongside Q and Milo (and seeing the way the silhouettes moved alongside the player as you progressed in that last exploration minigame,,, gosh i couldn't help but wonder how you managed to parallax that).

And then also!!!! the little cutscenes!! Especially the one with Q going after a certain somebody who revealed a certain truth,,, damn that was very cinematic,,, and also the relationship with Milo and Q!! they're very baby!! and seeing how much effort you put into drawing all their variations of sprites is just!!! so cute and sweet!!! 

Definitely was nice to see the ending to this!! You've definitely worked so hard on Quaint and it's cool to see everything come to an end!! I'm def gonna try and see if i can get the rest of the endings with your guide and see what more lies in store that i missed~

Also as a note, I found a couple of errors too while playing: when going to the data base/after killing Phelps the game gave me errors (that i got around by hitting the "ignore" button on the error screen leading to the "entering words to delete"/Q talking to Wren after the Phelps aftermath). I got ending A if that helps anything too ahaha

Putting a placeholder comment here atm because i haven't been able to get to O.C. yet but i very much intend to play it at some point (and just dl'ed it) so this is my way of saying im excited to see more of OW's characters and i WILL edit this with an update when i get to play it!

Got to play the Orlam route today (bc that's all i had time for ahfhjgfhj) and I gotta wonder, is this an AU of OW where nothing bad ever happens and thus the main cast gets to live much more normal lives than their OW canon ones? Because I noticed Orlam seems to be more confident + settled in his work/flirtations/making outside friends (tho, granted, i did get the feeling there could potentially be fakery and im just gullible for him and his words jhghghg) than he is in OW and if this is how he's like if OW never happened is just,,,, he's such a neat funny little guy and his fancy word texts with Iggy are so funny to read. 

Also that Cinderella story at the party LMAO that is such a wrong retelling of Cinderlla i was laughing at that 

and then!! Iggy!!! Iggy's social anxiety is very relatable and i kind of felt bad for him several times during this. the one with the "he's worrying about saving money for retirement" is such a mood to have and him having to charge his social battery is also Very relatable lol.

gosh,, i feel that about burning out,,, it's a sucky thing to happen but when it does, there's certainly no shame in jumping to something else until the burn out disappears

anyways!! ive been seeing your progress a bit over on Twitter, but it's so cool you're making another texting game!! I like the idea of adding in conversations that are randomized (BIG fan of randomness over here gfhjfghj) but seeing the other little ideas you've added into the game like stat management with Iggy's social battery (big introvert mood) and giving him the chance to interact with the other three characters of OW (and the changing speech bubbles reflecting his current relationship with them in the menu is such a cute idea) is so good i love what you're coming up with for this

looking forward to getting to play this when it releases!! i always love seeing what you've got cooking up for your games and im very curious now about what gets to happen at that party 👀

[Spoiler warning below]

I finally caught up to the end of part 2!! I had to restart from the beginning because apparently I didn't save when i finished part 1???? which i don't quite understand bc i feel like i WOULD have saved when i finished part 1 but whatever lol I caught up eventually

Gotta say though! As little as she appears Iris is my favorite character now lol! Asshole characters are easy for me to glom on to (and the fact that she's named Iris certainly helps: she's the second character named Iris I've look at and gone "i like you despite knowing nothing greatly substantial about you") and her brief appearances were both funny but also I would so love to learn more about her haha (and I get the feeling she's related to Lawrence? which would make me side-eye her a little bc of Lawrence's, uh, conservative bratty behavior, but im hoping she doesn't share those sentiments based on what little i saw of her)

I love the bad endings you've got set-up! It was really interesting to see how far you'd take them! The scene of Milo's blood being shown under the ruins of Q's trap was also pretty impactful. Really felt like a "oh shit this is the consequence of my actions" kind of moment. Also Q doing questionable things like killing the homeless guy (I see where he comes into the plot now, RIP random NPC :'D) in order to keep his former allies from coming after him and protecting Milo a little more,,, very much like the intrigue and guilt on Q's conscience and how he struggles with that around those who've been treating him relatively decently

The quicks thing was interesting! I love that little world-building detail and how that explains Milo's butterfly attraction! I know it was discussed in canon a little but I wonder if Q's quirk relates to the bad endings and that's why he can't really realize the quick he has? Because his quirk is to pull himself back in time or something? Granted, I think that's stuff that's too OP to be a quirk based on how the cast described it but if Q DOES have a quirk im not sure what else to guess as i can't recall him activating anything out of the ordinary (except maybe the ability to get people to trust him even when he's doing and saying shady things gfjfgj)

and then T!! It was good to learn more about him! He was a question I had in my mind since part 1 so it was great to see more on him and his relationship with Q (and the fact their ship name could potentially be Q-T cracks me up). I think Milo is a much better partner for Q then T was, but definitely I can see why Q fell for T and why he was drawn to T and so heartbroken over his death. I was honestly expecting to end part 2 with seeing T somehow pop up and be like "hey guess what i've been in the magical society all this time and just disguised my body the same way you did so no one would guess im still alive" but alas TwT. 

All things considered, at least Q is slowly getting a new home with June + Wren and the rest and finding love with Milo (as messy as it's been so far with his, uh, previous employment). Very curious to see how you're going to wrap up the confrontation of Q vs. the very people he ran away from! Also,,, I'm so curious to know if there's a deeper reason why Milo is targetted (And why do I think it has to do with the fact they want to bring their teacher back to life? and - on that note - is that teacher actually Q's mother and it's actually his former leader (whom I noticed calls Q his "son") who has a vendetta against Milo for getting Q's mom/his wife killed? Maybe that's just a conspiracy theory but that would kind of answer a lot of the reoccurring questions I've had on why it's Milo in particular that got targeted (and on another note...maybe T's death has something to do with Milo's teacher and her death? Thoughts are being had here...))

Anyways!! Part 2 left me with a lot of thoughts as to the deeper workings of the plot but i loved the deeper look we got at Q and his former employment in particular! It was very fascinating to look at him and his rather flawed relationship with T and how to happens to reflect on Milo as his new love interest (and Milo's def a better match for Q in my mind haha), hope to see more :Dc

gfhjghj as always i like reading your little devlogs on stuff like this. feels like you went on SUCH a journey just to get this game ported and i gotta say, i don't envy your struggle but man the amount of things you've worked on just to get this to android is just,,, your patience is amazing lol kudos to you for getting all these ducks in a row though!! if i had an android phone id try to download it and play this version of it just to see all your little changes in action!! sadly i don't but i think it's enough to see all the cool little notes of progress you've made here and what you've ended up changing from the web/PC version (and gfjh i can't help but wonder if translating OW to android app would be better or worse because it's much more lengthier but like you said potentially less finagling so,,, curious,,,)

I finally got around to playing this (been a little,,, overwhelmed,,, these last few days alas) but i really like the sentiment of this!! You do a really good job setting up the MC's relationship with Anthony and conveying just what exactly fractured their dynamic in the first place (and also how things in life aren't perfect, especially in romance, and bonds between people can easily be fractured by things like society's expectations or one's own journey to better understand themselves in spite of maybe finding out they've still ended up going against those expectations).

The use of Renpy's speech bubbles was interesting but so fluid I didn't even really think about their inclusion until now (that is: i was so immersed i just realized in hindsight that you used them because they flowed so naturally into the game lol). 

I definitely felt like Anthony was very human in this. He's still finding himself, still trying to own up to mistakes he's made and people he's hurt. I find that really endearing in characters - the ability to recognize one's own faults and act on resolving 'em - and I think you nailed it perfectly. So good job!!! And thanks for making this game!!

hello!!! Thank you for the kind words!! I’m glad you enjoy the art and writing ^^ and yes!!! You’ll definitely get to see more of them and their relationship together in the full fledged game!! Both of them are very important to the plot (their dynamic even more so!) so I plan on focusing on them A LOT in the actual story :Dc

"6,000 browser plays and 700 downloads" gosh im so proud of your success Carrot! Those are some big numbers and it's so cool to see you grow more and more as a VN dev :D Especially after hearing how downcast you felt about your game numbers: I think that's a bit of a struggle every VN dev can identify with (and man I really resonated with your words of how, at the end of the day, it's YOU who cares about your characters the most, therefore as long as you care, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because YEAH it's your story you want to tell and tell it you shall~ especially if it's the one thing making you happy then creating something like this is just,,, the best,,,)

im writing this very late at night so i might not be entirely coherent rn but fghjgfhj reading your devlogs always gives me such feels because it's really neat to hear your experiences with Devving TM and how important your games are to you (and it feels inspirational as heck ngl!!). You always show such love and passion for OW and your stories in general and it's just nice to see you taking different approaches to OW in this jam from a cute date to a spooky DND-esque adventure~ Like I feel like you have such much passion flowing into your projects and something about that is just??? so cool??? to me???

I got to say i'd be interested in that animated menu tutorial! I know you already showed me some of the code before but I think seeing it step by step in a visual manner would be really cool??? so seeing a little tutorial devlog or video or whatever you choose to do would be something i'd sign up for for sure ngl

As someone who's aroace I felt like I could resonate with a lot of the prince's sentiments?? It's hard to put into words exactly but I felt like you took a lot of what I relate to when it comes to being aroace (the expectation of relationships to be romantic/sexual in natural, in particular) and turned it into a metaphor that's just??? perfect?? not sure how else to put my thoughts and feels into words it just feels that way haha

really enjoyed the viewport (i think it's a viewport?? is that what it's called?? ahhhHHH) of the princess moving with the mouse. I had a lot of fun just watching her move around for the first few seconds of the game because of it (bc i just LOVE when games do that it makes my ADHD brain go wheeee) 

Really enjoyed the ending choice too!! It was really neat to see Snow White's expression shift to displeasure with the first choice and then when the prince puts the flower in her hair the fact that she smiles and opens her eyes after he does so feels really fitting for the message you're trying to tell!

Really loved the game!! Glad you made this and put it out there it makes my aroace feel happy to see <3 <3 <3

also also also! I wanted to say kudos to the VA pick as well!! Max Herzfeld really brought the prince to life and i felt like his voice really added to the emotion of the character and the sentimentalness of the story as a whole!!

Thank you <3 <3 <3 I wish I could've made it a little longer too but, i, uh hit the word count limit for this jam before I could do so!! So alas it's just short like this but in the future I hope to revisit this scene and add more relevant context to it!!

And yes!! There will be a follow-up!! I'm planning on creating a visual novel for this story for the upcoming Josei jam/Battle action Fantasy jam (which features Izumi as the protagonist and MC as a side character!) and if you want to follow my progress on that, I do have a twitter at @Alaluea to follow that I plan on posting updates to as I make progress on this project!

Hello!!!

I'm glad to hear this felt very cozy because that's the feel I wanted to go for, for this!! and fghjgfhj Mr. Protag is indeed a very caring guy (I love him so much for it ahhHHHH he and Izumi are just <3 <3 <3)

And oh!! I'm glad to hear this about all my one asset choices!! I tried my best on all of them (especially the music piece because i'm still very new to composing my own stuff haha) and YEAH i wanted to use the choices as a way to immerse the player so i'm glad to hear it helps get them involved with it!!

And YEAH I SURE HOPE SO TOO ^0^ I want them to remain friends forever and be happy about it (and yesss it'd be nice if Izumi could reunite with his fam while he's at it ^^)

HEWWO

YEAH these two bois are two characters i haven't really shown yet (well, Izumi's shown up like,,, twice in the history of my 900 tweets on twitter but he keeps changing designs soooooo-) but ive been developing them the last 3 months alongside my high card brainrot and ive just??? fallen in love with them??? Because DAMN is their relationship intriguing (and unfortunately I had to water it down here for the sake of O2A2's rules but ill def be revisiting this little piece with more context down the road!!)

They do have such a sweet dynamic I love them lots <3 <3 <3 They're such queerplatonic bros and im so excited to write about them in more context when they're much older than they are here!! I also feel bad about not giving the MC's name here but, uh, considering it's kind of a weird name (no really, it is, there's a reason why i made a little jab at him thinking everyone has weird names in this 'verse) i'll have to post about it at another time haha

And thank you!!! I mulled over whether to put in choices or not because, honestly, the story could just as easily go without them if I wanted to, but I wanted to go for a bit more engagement from the player's end so i'm very glad to hear the game feels immersive because of it ^^

Magic DOES exist in this world but YEAH the little chant "MC" does is just placebo effect taking place and not an actual magical spell (though there's a reason I chose the words I did for it ;D). Neither of these two boys have access to this world's magic (...YET) but it does exist!! Although I'm not sure I can necessarily call it magic?? Because, I mean, it IS magic but also it's hard to classify it as magic in my mind? ahHHHH you'll see what i mean when i get to posting it but YES I will definitely be answering a lot of the questions you brought up in the game (they all are more or less answered within the first few chapters, actually, haha). And you're right about that!! Their relationship is very crucial to each other (which is SO funny to me because MC wasn't supposed to have such an important role in Izumi's life and, welp, here I am now, fangirling over the both of them <3 <3 <3)

Thank you again so much!! Really happy to see you enjoyed this, as short as it is, and I hope to deliver more on them in the future!!

fhfggg it it were not for the rules of O2A2 I would have totally made this longer and less vague about the world it’s set in haha. Don’t worry though!!! They’ll be returning soon enough in my Josei/BAF project!

thank you!! Nice and cozy was what I was aiming for since that’s a lot of how I think of these two and their relationship together (queerplatonic bros ftw). And yeah!! There’s def a lot more going on behind the scenes here and I’ll definitely be revisiting the mystery behind Izumi and his circumstances soon enough~

And ahhhh I’m glad you liked those! They were a pain to code but a fun lil touch I wanted to add in regardless so I’m glad to hear it’s loved ^^

i gotta say, your artstyle is really pleasant to look at! Pair it with the nice little blinking/tears falling animation and it's just really fun to look at!! 

I really felt attached to the character here and it was cute to see their expressions change (plus i just love their design!! their little winged ear cuff is an aesthetic no lie) and i love lil dialogue between the player and them because it really feels sweet and sentimental (but also bittersweet because, well, the end of the world is always bittersweet when you wish you could still do so much more with your closest person ahhhHHH)

This was cute!!! I think you mentioned before that this was from your Quaint AU, right? So it's neat to see a sneak peek of that through this O2A2 entry!! I like how you distorted (bastardized? changed? can't think of the right word right now my bad ahhhhHHHH) the names like Q = Kyū (which i thought was clever haha)

You really got me interested in this AU though!! Sounds like Mahiro is having a rough time all around with his dad AND mom meanwhile poor Kyū is just trying his best to be nice while also kind of kicking the can down the road as to what the truth of everything is for the boy. The animations were also a suuuuuper nice touch (and it's too bad my current computer hates the downloaded version and keeps making the game flicker every time Mahiro blinks because it keeps me from seeing the animation you put in its full glory OTL. at least i can see them super well in the web version tho!!!) and I especially loved the fact you added a revert button to the ending because that felt like an especially neat touch that wasn't probably necessary to code in but kind of adds to the curiosity of the story just the same (if that makes sense haha).

Also the art!! In general!! I love??? You really have a way with drawing characters in a style that's pure ~aesthetic~ to me (im WEAK for the colors and shapes you use in your designs ngl) and i felt like you once again popped off in this short thing (I especially like how you used the one sprite, others=silhouette rule to shift all the focus to Mahiro while Kyū still being a predominant presence/the viewer's lens so to speak)

But anyways!! Good job with this it was a very enjoyable quick game to play through ^0^

AHHHHHH I played The Game TM and im kind of shocked this is less than 1k words?? Like,,, it feels like you somehow put more words in (but in a good way!!!) because I feel like i clicked every option trying to get the good ending (I may or may not have chosen the Bad Options for Funsies first lol) and also just to enjoy Genzou's little "shit shit shit" drift across the screen 

I can def tell this is a self-indulgent project bc like wow you put so much effort into everything from the gui to the visuals to the coding and workarounds of the limitations and ahhhHHHH im just impressed you just put this much work into it so fast!!  Really feels like im roleplaying Genzou to talk to Iggy which feels so odd??? Because im so used to seeing things from Iggy's POV so taking on the role of Genzou somehow feels enlightening??? Also Iggy just,,, freaking out at missing Genzou's birthday makes me feel guilty for choosing the "talk about birthday" option over the "nothing" option the first go around (but also ahhhh it was so sweet how Iggy was just freaking out and Genzou's all chill about it like "no problem i get that" because Iggys' relatable as fuck in this regard and seeing Genzou react that way was just A+++)

also I really like the ending scene!! I was trying my best to get it bc i know it existed and awww it was cute!! love the use of snow particles for the atmosphere and also how the main menu changes when you get the correct option (and the little visual changes like when Genzou calls Iggy or goes "shit shit shit" like gfhjgfhj im a sucker for the effort you put into this ahhhHHHH)

(also!! just as a PS!! if you're worried about the web version breaking i played through on that edition and it works perfectly!! didn't encounter any problems whatsoever ^^)

(obligatory spoilers warning here but !!!)

Took me a bit more than I expected to finish the demo but man that plot twist. I was just about wondering if the guy outside of Q's window was the agent guy they were talking about when /that/ popped up as the last line instead and it's like,,, ahhHHHH I GET IT NOW

that poses the question though,,, who is Mr. Stalker I wonder??? One of the guys who can use magic and is sus of Q? Or a neutral party neither super secret government faction nor local magic gang? im curious of him now,,, esp. since i always tend to have a soft spot for potential neutral/third party factions,,,,,,,,,

there were definitely a lot of questions brought up in this that i can't wait to get answers for. Like why Milo in particular? Because they're trying to resurrect the dead? Also, T seems to be a past lover of Q's who's maybe dead? Or perhaps he was like Milo - someone Q had feels for but was his target in the end? gotta say it sounds like Q's job is less programmer and more a secret government agent which,,, in hindsight that all clicks together but not until after the reveal did i really guess that fjhfgjhgf

It was nice to see your cast in context though! Milo was different than I expected (i thought they'd be more of an outright prankster but instead they're pretty chill which, nice). I can't help but wonder if their butterfly attraction motif is a result of them having their teacher's magic since butterflies are commonly associated with life or if that passive ability has a deeper meaning (like perhaps being used to scout information as creations they made?). Wren was very fun to see! For some reason I thought Penny was going to be capable of communicating with the cast so i was surprised to see her hiss instead gfjhfghj but I def do love her and Wren and his little threat to Q not to hurt Milo (which, oof,, OOF,,, Q's screwed isn't he if he goes through with The Plan). And poor June too,,, dealing with all those Karens,,,

I really find it curious though that Milo seems to be, for lack of better words here, the star of the society,, like everyone loves them and wants to see the best for them but then there's Q with that kill order and it's like,,, oh,,,, if Q kills Milo he's going to get quite the reckoning lmao

a bit of rambling but i like the set-up you've got going here for the ramifications of what will happen if Q decides to kill Milo (meanwhile, I wonder what the repercussions will be for failing his job? Perhaps part 2 will explore that??) and also a little glimpse into what might be a bigger plot with magic society vs. Q's employers?

regardless,,, this was a very fun playthrough and i enjoyed all the art and work you put into it! It definitely feels like something you put your heart and soul into and I can't wait to see more of how the plot unravels now that the reason for Q's dilemma is out of the bag ^^

I haven't finished reading this yet bc ive only been able to read in bits and pieces for now but i just want to let you know i really love reading your devlogs!! They're very entertaining lol and it also feels insightful on how much love and effort you put in your projects (tho it's saddening to hear you don't get irl support ;w; i know that feeling and it sucks majorly). Also 5 possible endings? That's wild (and probably a lot of work considering I think they're based on points earned by choices??? feels like a lot of work!!). Good luck on getting arc 5 done sometime next year-ish!! I'll be very much looking forward to it haha \^0^/

FGJHFGJHJH I'm glad you love the monster designs!! I spent a lot more time than I should've trying to make them creepy and I spent a lot of time thinking about how to scary them up lol. Pinkie is one of my faves lol love that design (and it's def gonna reappear in another work in the future if/when I can shove it in and make it work haha)

I mean,,, the relics are guardian angels in that it gives them powers to fight monsters but the result is... >:3c

Yeah the story is most definitely rushed! I essentially had to speedrun the building of a whole alternate universe with no time to properly pad it out and the pacing definitely reflects that! I had hoped to put more scenes to give readers time to adjust to the changes in this world but, as you've probably noticed, a lot more "tell" than "show" was thrown in here to basically dump worldbuilding info on people for later stuff. I usually like to create complex worlds and slowburn my way into them (something im struggling with fixing in my Hologram project atm!! Especially because there's a lot of things being thrown at once as the inciting incident occurs and i Do Not want people to get overwhelmed haha) but this was a complex world from the get go set-up without any pacing or slowburn to match it OTL

This said!! Glad you enjoy the little ships in here!! Abby/Vidal and Michi/Irise are pairings i had fun teasing in this piece, although it's probably the closest I'll ever get to writing real romance (esp. since i'm only in it for the queerplatonicness not truly the romance itself haha). 

The ending was intentionally meant to end there! Though, if I'd had my way, there might have been an epilogue stating that the common populace now realizes what happens to certain people and are facing a mass panic by those in the afflicted party~

And yeah it definitely seems like NVL in ADV format suffers. I will admit I'm more used to reading stuff like fanfic than reading vns in the typical ADV format so I think that played a factor in how I thought it was comprehensible but sounds like it's confusing instead ;w; I apologize for the headache! It'll definitely read much better when I update to that new format I promise!!!

and feel free to give more crits and feedback if you like!! I know there's a lot of issues with this (I imagine the sprites are one of them and the "tell instead of show" playing a big part in what bogs this down?) and tbh I'd like to hear what I did wrong so I can try my best to fix/evade such errors in the future if possible!!

Thank you so much for the comment though!! I loved reading your thoughts on this and it makes me happy to know you like this and want to see more of my writing in the future ^0^ Hopefully I can get one of my projects out to fruition to make that happen and YES definitely in the NVL style where it'll shine more!

Heya! Glad you enjoyed the world and monsters! “Odd and intriguing” and “gorgeous yet creepy” are high praises to hear as someone who enjoys world building and monster creation! This little project was I wanted to try and at least make a decent world for (and leave a little mystery for in what those relics are/why they exist) so I’m happy to hear I achieved it to some degree <3

as for the word count critique, I’ll definitely keep that in mind! Though, if I may inquire, is the lengthy word count an issue because this is an ADV novel written in a NVL style? I know the two styles aren’t typically meshed together so I’m wondering if that figures into it? I can see how that’s in issue in, say, the dialogue where it’s matched with character actions (I.e. something like [“I’m sorry,” Rean says, grimacing as he rubs at the back of his neck]). Or how maybe the paragraphs themselves feel too big for the space they’re in because that’s definitely an issue I realize hurts the mixing of VN styles OTL

And if not that, by tightening it do you mean  I need to cut down on descriptions in total? I can see where some things might go awry - the second scene and the river scene coming to mind in terms of potential meandering (especially since I had to speed run the introduction of an alternate with none of the proper pacing) - but I’d appreciate knowing in more detail what could be tightened up if don’t mind me asking ^w^

Oh!! It's funny you say the main inspiration is from Madoka Magica because ironically my thought process for inspiration was based more on card game anime while making this (namely, shows like YGO Arc-V and Future Card Buddyfight tied into a magical girl/boy package because I love magical girls and I love card game monsters so I figured, why not get the best of both!). I see where the Madoka Magica vibe comes from though, and in hindsight that wasn't my intention but I get why it feels that way!!

Happy to hear you like the music! I didn't have a lot of time to add it in (nor the experience, tbh) so this makes me :Dc to hear that I did a decent job constructing it together

And yeah I wondered how predictable the twist would be so that answers that~ I usually like to be a lot more subtle about my plot twists but for this project I don't think I tried as hard haha. Nonetheless, you're completely right!! It's all about the journey not the destination indeed ^0^

and oof,, I wondered about that but for whatever reason my game won't allow me to see the font whenever I change it on my end. I thought it would work well in Cairo font and I had someone say it worked fine but on hearing this I might return it to the default Renpy font. Thanks for letting me know (and thanks for the comment too, glad to hear your thoughts on this little project ^0^!!!)

FGHJGFHJ I'M GLAD THIS WAS A RIDE FOR YOU IT WAS A RIDE FOR ME TOO

Re: slice of life start up vibes!! That's something ironically a lot of my favorite stuff does: start up with slice of life intro stuff and then BAM horror/fantasy/mystery vibes commence~ So I'm happy to hear I emulated that well here, especially since I wanted to introduce the cast and then slide over into the horror stuff as the slowburn outcome of the mystery pieces itself together. 

Creating the relics and rendering them was perhaps my favorite part of this. Twisting the relics into the monster's designs, even more so (and fun fact: Irise's monster form was invented before her relic was). I wanted to make sure the relics were always omnipresent in the scene considering how, at the end, they're presence is Very Relevant to the mystery haha. I'm also happy to hear you like the sprites too,,, I feel like I could have done much better on them and make them look less wonky to my eyes if given time but ultimately i did learn a lot about them (and mad respect to you and everyone else who does sprites w/ so much variance bc that's like godtier patience in my eyes to have all those combinations made and ready to use).

Michi!!! My boy!!! I'm not going to lie for how little he appeared in this he is ironically one of my more favorite characters in the series he actually comes form. Granted, there's a lot more complexity to him there than I got to show here but yessss him being sweet and plucky is just The Best (plus his design is soooo good I love coloring blonde hair so much and his magenta eyes really add to the appeal: i can't wait to draw him even more in his actual story just bc i love his colors so much). And Abby,,, local protagonist in his original series turned love interest in this piece,,, The scenes w/ him and Vidal are probably the closest I'll ever get to being truly overtly romantic in my works and the clocktower scene was very fun to push myself in that regard (so I'm happy to hear the romance is very welldone despite its subtlety because that's very much what I crave in every romance story I read ngl).

Speaking of worldbuilding: would you believe me if I said I had to speedrun the world-building in like 3 days because I had An Idea pre-jam but when writing I found out I really didn't?? I at least got to shove in some cameos tho,,, especially Sadie even tho she only shows up to further enhance the debate about the mystery of what's happenin'

The summer CG!! That one was so great,,, I am a Big Fan of saturated colors and I really let myself go loose with that one. Wish I could've drawn more like that but alas,,, time ate me up

The mist monsters,,,, they are indeed very spooky and Vidal's one in particular is my favorite (RAINBOW COLORS RAINBOW COLORS). I'm really a "monsters are horrifying especially if they're non-humanoid" type of gal and I had fun trying to create ones that looked creepy (and haha Irise's neck was a spur of the moment design but I think it really works for a horrific, almost unattached-from-one's-own-body look :3c)

Overall just super well done and a great story that really ramped up at the end and left me wanting more. Like I wanna know what's happening now?? What's going to happen to them? What even really ARE they? I have so many questions.

>:3c I really like creating mysteries with no real answerse so it's really up to you what you want to make of the ending and what happens after! I consider Blue Moon Lament's story done as of the ending although shortly after Vidal's...happening...I'd like to think the world now knows what's happening to all the disappearing lamenters and how that causes chaos and horror across the world. It's even better when you get to know people don't get to become lamenters by choice...which also means that that will happen to any lamenter whether they want it or not just because they are lamenters :333333333

(and thank you for the note!! i uploaded new files so hopefully those work now \>o</)

man

MAN

the way you tied this into Our Wonderland brings up so much questions but Our Fantastic Wonderland is canon to Our Wonderland it seems based on the ending scene alone and man that blows my mind i never saw that coming!!

loved seeing the main crew again and out in action,,, i missed them and their witty, snark-filled banter,,, and some of the lines definitely made me laugh out loud (that poking fun at itself for "not being a visual novel" and the little quips about deadlines felt like you personifying your own troubles with making a game in a month)!! I especially liked the line about shounen anime and the programming riddles felt so fitting for Ghent/Ignatius/Gidget/Iggy's characters that I couldn't help but feel like it was a nice personal touch for the riddles to be stuff about coding (and then Orlam and Genzou just being like "oh, well, okay, that happened" was amusing too)

I think the glitching aspect in the midway point was also very curious too,,, like,,, were they really even playing a DND-esque game together at all?? Were they sharing a connected lucid dream?? it really felt as if they were all gathered around playing a game although a few factors beforehand did feel fishy (like how Hunar magically handwaved the sky to red and how they could all see that change at once...I may not know anything about DND but something about how they witnessed that change without Hunar speaking in depth of it and feeling chilled by the transformation really adds to the reveal of them glitching out of existence later in hindight :P). There's also the fact that underneath Iggy's cloak it looks like normal modern attire (a tshirt and shorts i believe??) which only seems to heighten the suspicion that either Iggy was lazy in designing his character's outfit or, more likely, he was transported to a ""lucid dream"" w/ a cleric cloak on to fit the theme lol??

Also!!! The ATL!! I swear you're just a master at using it to it's most efficient point because everything about it works so well in partnering with the narrative!! From the black bar screen "fade ins", to the rabbit guards attacking, to the way you zordered the group so there's a distinct feel of them walking side by side at times, to the little motions that the sprites definitely help capture such as Iggy falling into the arms of his loved one or how Jerry's face zooms into the camera as a kind of small jumpscare (that was really creepy i gotta say!!)).

also rip to the magic potato and Jerry, they never quite fulfilled their purposes did they :') maybe magic potato will somehow come back to give Iggy happiness in arc 5 of Our Wonderland >o<

(also i realized while typing this i haven't followed you on here already and that is a mistake i have finally rectified haha)

(spoilers in comment)

This was a very cute (albeit kind of sad) read and gosh I'd love to see more of this world because it was very intriguing and up my alley. 

The monster creature was so cute though im kind of sad that allowing Fifteen to get close to it makes her and the thing disappear from Casper's life (I was hoping they could all get together and travel together at the end but alas,,, it was not meant to be in the endings ive seen gfhjgf)

The writing was so very good and the voice-acting really fit the characters too. I also like how you made the characters feel down to earth and fitting to their environment while also creating a sense of unease and uncertainty about this world (even to the point I felt unsure about the monster despite wanting it to be a companion because gosh it looks so cute but then it takes off with Fifteen and leaves Casper behind and...>0<)

Good job to everyone who created this i'd love to see more of this world if possible but at the same time I think this contained narrative works just as well :D

this game has such pretty art im <3 for it

Cheshire probably has my favorite design, but the other girls are very cute too (im always a sucker for white-haired purple-eyed characters too, as the White Queen is making me realize~)

The writing for this was very fun to follow and very well crafted. There's a lot of intrigue as to what's going on and I like how the story we know of Alice in Wonderland seems to intertwine into this variation.

Also love how the VN uses camera shake (I think? Can't seem remember what it's called in renpy gjgjhgffgjg) to engage the reader in the story. During the (Spoilers) scene where Cheshire attacks the player and gets her arm ripped off, both the epic music and the screen shaking really makes me feel like im taking the protagonist's place for a hot second lol

Regardless! This was a cool visual novel to read/playthrough so thanks to you all who made this for creating a fun game!!

I already left a comment on Twitter but I just finished up the other two routes and ahhHHHH

My curiosity piqued when you showed off the demon companion and even more so with the summary and I'm glad I played this! I got attached to Haze real quickly but honestly, their design is so cool to look at I love all the little details you carved into their sprite (as well as that one epic CG with the wings omg!!).

I also love the whimsical, almost somberly forlorn tone that goes on in this piece. The demon is very frank in their thoughts but also attuned to Willow in a way that feels lowkey really sweet. I was also surprised to see the demon has a more human-esque looking form but somehow that also feels appropriate considering that, despite the initial look of the sprite, they are very human?? In a way??

It was also neat how you handled Willow's character. Willow felt very real and fleshed out, even if her time with the player is brief (or, well, it felt too brief to me ;w;) and I like how her chats with the demon are almost philosophical in nature (especially in ending 3 which was a nice touch since it felt like it drove home the melancholy air of hope that was building). 

Anyways, that said, this was really neat! I can tell you put a lot of effort into making this game and I think that definitely shines through with how teary I got at the end of ending 3 fghjgfhjfg

Really adoring this game so far! I'm roughly 2 hours into it I'd guess and so far it's been a blast figuring things out. One thing that is annoying though (or maybe I just don't know the button to get out of it?) but I've stuck at the "Your character got a level-up!" screen twice now and unable to get out of the window (and I don't see any X I can just click to get out of it). 

edit: oh wait nvm im an idiot and didn't realize i was supposed to choose from the choices that aren't the top 2. I thought since they were blacked out I couldn't choose them but now i see ;w;

Like The Gamer Brewery said, I would love to see the ability to have summons that you can add (and maybe even place if possible) to the grid. The grid system would definitely be a lot fun to use with actor summons (not to mention that would add more flexibility and fun in creating a battle system!) especially since to my knowledge in-battle summons doesn't seem to be an actual feature in RPGMaker's normal battle system.

Also do like the idea of having the "back" actor being unable to be targeted until the actor in "front" is cleared first. I know you already mentioned something along the lines of this up above but it would be cool to have it so that if the two columns are like this:

Front-Back
G1 G2
G3 G4
G5 G6
G7 G8

Then if an actor is put in row G1 the actor in G2 can't be targeted until the G1 actor is killed. But if G3 has no actor then the enemy can straight away attack G4's actor. So, basically, if there is no other actor in the "front" column of the grid then the "back" column that is horizontally aligned with that column is targetable. If there's an actor in the "front" column, however, than the the "back" column is targetable. 

I just finished the demo after watching a certain YT video and dfjhgfhjf as soon as this game comes out I definitely intend to buy it when it does! I can tell you've put so much time and thought into just the demo alone and honestly as an aspiring indiedev myself all I can say is I'm impressed by how much is in this small (i'm guessing very small, for that matter?) portion of the plot (not to mention how much eventing and scripting you must've done for just this section of the game alone!)

I'd have to say my two favorite parts (past Archie who is just naturally great and I love his dialogue about plants with Lily - kind of hope that becomes a running gag between them ngl because that scene built up perfect relationship chemistry between those two as well as w/ poor Perry) would be the jewelry shop and the scene with Daphne you get to see as Archie. 

I wandered into the jewelry shop out of mere curiosity, quickly realizing that the guy could move between shop counters. When the guy complained about me not making up my mind and wheezing to the ground, exhausted, I couldn't help but snicker and be in complete awe of that scene. It's such a small detail, almost insignificant because you're not required to visit the shop during the demo whatsoever, but it honestly brings your game to life in a way that tells players you're rewarding them for their curiosity.

I also loved Archie's intrusion into the scene with Daphne scolding the train crewmembers. Being able to watch that optional cutscene that I stumbled upon by mere happenstance while exploring such a small town was truly a treat in of itself. It's made even better by the small details like the guard going back to constantly fix the suit of armor, trying again and again to fix it only to just meekly give up and hightail it out of there. 

I also found that Archie's comment on getting out of there a nice touch: especially since I realized later that his behavior up until meeting Lily (such as hiding behind the train as Daphne escorts the crew members away) made sense, especially because he thought he would get in trouble and was trying to avoid that. It also made me wonder though: does Archie have some intrinsic fear of authority figures and/or being punished for acting too out of line? Much of his behavior suggested he was avoiding directly confronting any authorities because he didn't want to get in trouble, and I'm not sure if that's because he didn't want his message delivery to be interrupted or because of some maybe past trauma (such as having the authority figures in his homeland threatening him constantly for speaking out of line which results in an unease to be found by authorities and accused of making trouble). I can see him going both ways but I suppose I'll have to wait before I can learn more about him to see if I'm right or wrong about what I noticed about him

Lily and Perry were also good, their comedic timing is well paced, though they felt a bit generic for characters compared to Archie. Lily in particular fell a little on the generic side, mostly because girls who love art kind of feels like an expected stereotype in stories (and this is coming from someone who actually is that stereotype irl so pot meet kettle lol). It's not bad in any way as long as she's given other unique traits to make her stand out (like comparing art tools, perhaps, or getting in a heated debate with Archie over the identification of various flora). However, her love of plants and her distraction by them in comparison to more important events does make her pop out more. It was really refreshing to have a character be so into plants to the point of distraction, even being exasperated at Perry for not knowing what type of plants they were (which correlates with his mentality to have the plants be a stepping stone to show he's responsible: he doesn't care what kind of plants they are, only that they show his dad he's worthy). You had a really good dynamic there as I mentioned before and I would love to see more scenes like that, with Lily and Archie getting distracted and Perry hauling them along as some sort of running gag (kind of like what you've already shown to be doing in the comic you gave glimpses of).

Also in regards to Perry: his options to ~bully~ Flint were really satisfying as a player to pick and I loved his opening scene (as well as his "for the love of- WE'RE CLOSED" shtick that happens constantly throughout the story (the poor customer at the end though...I laughed at that so hard lmao). He feels a little bit on the typical hero side, but with that said there is something endearing about him that makes me feel at ease even with that knowledge. His comedic timing really sold him and I can only imagine him being at odds with the jargon Archie and Lily might use on discussions about plants or even leaving them behind if they're too absorbed in their own little worlds.

My only nitpicks I would provide, aside from that a quick skim through the comments below has suggested, is maybe increase the timer on the train. For me, even though I'd watched the YT review of this game, it took me quite some amount of time to talk to everyone in the train AND figure out who to talk to to trigger the cutscene to get past the Sentinel guarding the front of the train. By the time I'd found the sick guy my timer was 0:03 which, supposing a Bad End is implemented if one goes over the time limit, might be frustrating to players if they have to redo going the whole entire first scene again (especially if they didn't think there was a point to saving because obviously the puzzle is supposed to be doable in five minutes).

Also, speaking of save files, I'm not sure if this is just an occurrence on Mac computers or if this is just a built in feature of the demo (especially considering how relatively short it is), but I was unable to save during the length of my play session. However, I only tried saving once (iirc in the town playing as Archie) so it could be that I was only preventing from saving in that location but could've saved elsewhere.

Other than those flaws (and the ones I've seen other people already mention which it sounds like you have fixed already :Dc) this was a really amazing game! For such a short session, I found myself connecting a lot of dots to potential plot points (and what might happen after the demo's ending) but that doesn't at all stop me from wanting to buy this when it's done! From what it sounds like, this is going to be a lengthy game (especially if there are...7? 8? realms to go through and we've only ever seen a town in one of them) and I'm definitely eagerly going to be awaiting the day this arrives in full to play!!