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Talk:Siege of Trichinopoly (1743)

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Cwmhiraeth in topic DYK review

DYK review

edit
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk05:37, 25 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

Created/expanded by Omer123hussain (talk). Self-nominated at 12:05, 13 August 2020 (UTC).Reply

  •   The hooks need copyediting for English grammar. Apparently the article does too. The first paragraph of the lead contains partial sentences like: Deccan region which comprises of six Mughal Empire governorates-(Subahs) Khandesh, Bijapur, Malwa, Aurangabad, Hyderabad and Carnatic of which Nizam-ul-Mulk-(also known as Nizam) was the legitimate Viceroy. and grammatical errors like: After about six months of siege, the Nizam successfully make Murari Rao to surrender. Please apply at WP:GOCE. Yoninah (talk) 23:27, 19 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
Fixed as per Yoninah advises and suggestion and others corrections :)Omer123hussain (talk) 09:42, 20 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • The hook is better but the article really needs a copyedit. You are misusing words like "lead" (should be "led") and "comprises" (should be "consists of"). You have this ridiculously run-on sentence in the lead: However during the last years of Nizam and after his death in 1748, the Deccan became the center of a power struggle which had lead to a series of complicated three Carnatic Wars (1746-1763), claimant of Nizam succession were among the Nizam’s own sons and grandsons-Nasir Jung, Salabat Jung and Muzaffar Jung, between the Maratha Peshwa-Raghoji I Bhonsle and Balaji Bajirao, and for the title of the Nawab of Arcot between Chanda Saheb and Muhammed Ali Khan Wallajah, and between the legitimate ruler of Mysore Krishnaraja and DeFacto Hyder Ali, eventually they all were supported by either Frenchman Joseph François Dupleix or the British Robert Clive though they were each other's rival and had increased there interference and influence among the local rulers and there opponents. I glanced at the rest of the article and see more grammatical errors. Please apply at WP:GOCE for a complete copyedit. Yoninah (talk) 10:27, 20 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
Yoninah, WP:GOCE is done hope we can proceed now for DYK :)Omer123hussain (talk) 06:03, 25 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
Really? WP:GOCE doesn't work that fast. The copyedit is not very good. There are still long, run-on sentences and incorrect grammar. Normally I would do it myself, but I don't have the time. Yoninah (talk) 11:26, 25 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
I thought so :), as its not such a big article, I hope it may not be a big deal for you to c/e, so hope to work with you and appreciate you kind gesture. :)Omer123hussain (talk) 14:36, 25 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
Eern, I didn't say I was completely done. I said I was going to look at it again today. Can I Log In (talk) 17:49, 25 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

This is just a copyedit of the hook for grammar corrections. I haven't done any kind of review, not even on the hook. SpinningSpark 14:08, 28 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • OK, I tried to edit the article, but there are still unclear parts. First I removed all the extraneous historical information from the lead, which should just focus on the article subject, not the whole pre- and post-history of the region. But you also have information here about the 1741 siege, and briefly mention the 1751 siege, which makes me wonder if the page name should be changed to Sieges of Trichinopoly and the sections reorganized accordingly? There is little enough information on the page Siege of Trichinopoly (1751–52) that it can't be re-incorporated into this article.
  • There are a few sentences whose meaning I can't figure out. These run-on sentences should be broken up into individual sentences. Also, you are writing about something that happened hundreds of years ago, so please use past-tense verbs:
  • They reached Golkondain March 1744 and the same year Khwaja Abdullah died on the eve of his departure from Golkonda; thus the Nizam appointed Anwaruddin Khan as regent while Saadatullah Khan II, being an infant, as the Nawab of the Carnatic he was assassinated by Muruza Ali Khan in 1744,[21]:99 and in 1749 when Anwaruddin Khan died in the Battle of Ambur, his son and deputy governor Muhammed Ali Khan Wallajah was dethroned by Chanda Sahib, he became a refuge in Trichinopoly where he set up his base.
  • These were a series of wars fought between 1746 and 1763 among the Maratha: Peshwas, contended[clarification needed] by Raghoji I Bhonsale vs. Balaji Bajirao; the Nizam of Hyderabad, contended[clarification needed] by Nasir Jung and Muzaffar Jung; the Nawab of Arcot, contended[clarification needed] by Chanda Saheb and Muhammed Ali Khan Wallajah; and Robert Clive of England vs Joseph François Dupleix of France who, while opposing each other, aligned with opposing local princes. They all change support system between one another during and after war.
  • I also broke a paragraph in half under "1941 siege" and need a citation to verify the first paragraph.
  • Yoninah (talk) 18:45, 29 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • 1941 and 1943 sieges? Methinks you have time-slipped 200 years.
  • I don't think changing the heading of the "background" section to "1741 siege" is a good idea in any case. It is more about the conflict as a whole and the heading confuses the topic of the article. SpinningSpark 21:29, 29 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
OK so let me summarize what has happened. This revision was what I saw when accepting the GOCE request; the major flaws I found are the following,
  • I see-(hyphens before parenthesies)
  • Phrases that are confusing, like this one
Or this: On 11 October 1724, Nizam defeated Mubariz Khan-(the then Mughal governor of Hyderabad and an imperial officer) to establish autonomy over the Deccan region, named the region as Hyderabad Deccan, and started what came to be known as the Asaf Jahi dynasty.
  • "Snakes", and apprently run-on sentences

The article as of 19:49, 30 August 2020 (UTC) has got to address nearly all of your issues; if not, shocking but I'll do more, but there is the barrier of the confusing phrases which is what is putting this at a standstill. If I have to go up to Omer123hussain(en-5?)every time and ask for clarification on the intended meaning of a phrase only he can understand, I'll opt-out. Let's hold off failing this for 7 days and see what happens. Can I Log In (talk) 19:49, 30 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • Yoninah and Can I Log In well its okay with me to hold editing until c/e is completed, meanwhile you can ask me for any help. :)-Omer123hussain (talk) 04:33, 31 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • It's not a problem. The only problem here you pointed out is These were a series of wars fought between 1746 and 1763 among the Maratha:, and followed by a huge snake that I've never gotten in slither.io.
  Anyways, that snake has been cut, so this DYK better pass. My head will explode if there are further issues with the prose (other than with the snake I just "cut". Can I Log In (talk) 23:17, 31 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Thank you for your work, Can I Log In, but the last paragraph is still ungrammatical; it's completely unclear what "first", "second" or "third" is referring to—a war? a conflict? a disagreement? And the last line makes no sense at all.
  • Additionally, this overlong Aftermath section is really unnecessary; it should end after the second paragraph and all this information about the 1751 siege should be moved to that article to improve it. Then we too can move on.
  • @Omer123hussain: I would also like to note that this constant re-editing of your article shows that your next nomination must be sent to WP:GOCE before anyone at DYK even tries to review it. Yoninah (talk) 20:01, 1 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • @Yoninah:, In section Aftermath, i hope following will be okay “The opponent involved in these wars were; Robert Clive of England versus Joseph François Dupleix of France; both were opposed to the other but were aligned with opposing local princes. Whether Chanda Sahib or Muhammed Ali Khan Wallajah would become the Nawab of Arcot and whether Nasir Jung or Muzaffar Jung would be the successor to become the Nizam of Hyderabad. In the process to be the Peshwa of Maratha empire, contended by Raghoji I Bhonsale and Balaji Bajirao. They all change support system between one another during and after war to become the successor of local rulers.-:) Omer123hussain (talk) 20:33, 2 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • @Yoninah:,So better we remove that sentence as it will enlarge the section if we explain it, any way we had WL Carnatic wars.
  • Starting review. You nominated this on August 13 as a 5x expansion. The expansion must be done within 7 days of nomination. If we IAR and give you an 8-day period, the last edit on August 4 shows a character count of 3,530 characters. At present, the character count is 8,830 characters, which is a 2.5x expansion. Even if we grant you a 9-day period, the character count before you began expansion on August 4 was 2,990 characters, which makes it less than a 3x expansion.
  • If you are unable to expand this 5x, another option would be to bring it to GA status and then nominate it again here at DYK. Yoninah (talk) 18:05, 3 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  •   Re-nominated within 7 days of receiving GA icon. New enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced, no close paraphrasing seen. ALT0a hook ref verified and cited inline. However, I would remove the sea of blue from the hook this way:
  • ALT0b: ... that the Maratha Empire's direct rule came to an end in the Carnatic region when Murari Rao surrendered to Nizam I after the 1743 siege of Trichinopoly?
  • Images in article are freely licensed. I don't think the image adds anything to this hook. No QPQ needed for nominator with less than 5 DYK credits. ALT0b good to go. Yoninah (talk) 13:45, 21 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

John doe when came to know he joined Jane Doe to take back...

edit

From Special:Permalink/974642949#Siege:

While he was contemplating an invasion of Carnatic region to reestablish his authority as Viceroy of Deccan, Dalavayi Devarajaiya of Mysore when came to know he joined the Nizam to take back Trichinopoly from the Maratha's, for which in January 1743 he made and agreement with the Nizam to pay 10,000,000 s if the latter would bring Trichinopoly under Mysore.

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I don't understand what this is trying to say; I can't figure out it's intended meaning. The main issue here is Dalavayi Devarajaiya of Mysore when came to know he joined the Nizam to take back. I don't even understand. Omer123hussain, you are the main contributor to this article. Can you explain the intended meaning as I cannot firgure it out. Uh no not this one, the sentence after. Can I Log In (talk) 05:02, 24 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

thanks for your copyedit Can I Log In, Mysore was independent neighboring state of Trichinopoly, the ruler (Dalavayi Devarajaiya ) of Mysore intended to extend his kingdom and make a deal with Nizam, if he occupy Trichinopoly from Maratha for him Nizam will be paid 10 Million INR. Thus Nizam took it but due to non payment he kept it under his control.
Note 1) to the north of Trichinopoly lies the carnatic region which was under the control of Nizam/Mughal and south west was Mysore Empire.
Note 2) Chanda saheb (Dewan to the Nawab of Arcot) deceived the ruler of Trichinopoly and occupied it, Marathas took it back from Chanda Saheb, thus Nizam intended to take it back from Marathas, thus Mysore Dalavayi joined him and kept an offer to pay 10 Million if Nizam occupy Trichinopoly and give him-(Dalavayi).
--Omer123hussain (talk) 05:32, 24 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
Thank you for your rephrasing in the article and clarification. I have cut the "snake" down to this:

He though about invading the Carnatic region to reestablish his authority as Viceroy of Deccan; instead, in January 1743, Dalavayi Devarajaiya of Mysore, after establishing his hold in Carnatic region, offered the Nizam 10,000,000 s in exchange for Trichinopoly.

It's a lot less wordy and more clear. Can I Log In (talk) 03:42, 25 August 2020 (UTC)Reply
Thanks Can I Log In for your efforts to organize the vocabulary. Regards :)--Omer123hussain (talk) 06:15, 25 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Siege of Trichinopoly (1743)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Catlemur (talk · contribs) 17:37, 4 September 2020 (UTC)Reply


I will start the review shortly.--Catlemur (talk) 17:37, 4 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • The article currently refers to Nizam-ul-Mulk, Asaf Jah I as both Nizam I and Asaf Jah I, which confuses the reader. It would be helpful if you mentioned that he was referred by both of these names in a sentence and then stick to one of the names for consistency.   Done
  • Add a hatnote at the top of the article directing the reader to the other Sieges of Trichinopoly.   Done
  • Remove the asterisks from the commanders section of the infobox.   Done
  • Rename the History section into Prelude.   Done
  • Rename the 1743 siege section into Siege.   Done
  • Wikilink the Mughal Empire upon its first mention and capitalize the E.   Done
  • The second paragraph immediately jumps into Nizam's defeat of Mubariz Khan. What preceded it? Was Nizam motivated to carve himself a state by his ejection from the Delhi court? Did the battle provoke a full scale war between Nizam and the Mughals? The previous questions on Nizam's status tie into why he was selected as mediator to travel to northern India. As it implies that he was in good standing with the Mughals despite seizing power in the south.   Done
  • Wikilink ₹.   Done
  • The references section is inconsistent. If you cite a book you need to mention its title, the first and last names of its author(s), its ISBN, its publisher, its year of publication and an accessdate if you are linking to an online copy of it. This should be done for all books cited.   Done
  • Ref 21 by K. R. Subramanian indicates that its self published. What makes it a reliable source?   Done
(Non-nominator comment)
ISBN— Y Partly done either the rest without ISBNs are either not books or I just can't find them.
Wikilink ₹— Y Partly done added a link to Indian rupees in parenthises on the first occurance. The ₹ is transcluded from Template:₹.
Nizam I and Asaf Jah I inconsistency, 2nd paragraph, and ref 21—  On hold pending nominator's comment.
Everything else listed so far is   Done.
Can I Log In (talk) 21:29, 5 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

I have not completed the review yet. I will leave comments in bursts, since I am really busy IRL. Sorry for that.--Catlemur (talk) 14:13, 7 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • Remove Category 18th century in India since you already have 1743 in India which is a subcategory of the former.   Done
  • Replace the colons with hyphens for inline citation page ranges.   Done
  • Capitalize Siege and Battle for wikilinks, linking to specific military conflicts. This is currently done inconsistently.
  • Ref 13 still only has a book title.   Done
  • Ref 14 is missing an author.   Done
  • Sowars and Sepoy are capitalized in some instances and not in others. If Sowar is used to mean a rank you can keep it capitalized, if its a term for a cavalryman leave it in lower case like sepoy.   Done
  • Under the influence of Nizam's opponents, Mughal Emperor Muhammad Shah issue a decree to Mubariz Khan the governor of Hyderabad to cease the Nizam from overtaking the Deccan province under his control,→Under the influence of Nizam's opponents, Mughal Emperor Muhammad Shah issued a decree to Mubariz Khan, the governor of Hyderabad, ordering him to prevent the Nizam from taking the Deccan province under his control.   Done
  • On 11 October 1724, the Nizam defeated and Killed Mubariz Khan, established autonomy over the Deccan region.→On 11 October 1724, the Nizam defeated and killed Mubariz Khan, establishing autonomous rule over the Deccan region.   Done
  • 80 Km→80 kilometres (50 mi)   Done
  • resulted in Battle of Shakar Kheda.→resulting in the Battle of Shakar Kheda.   Done
  • Nizam remained loyal with Mughal Emperor, did not assumed any imperial title for himself and never refuse to acknowledge Mughal suzerainty.→Nizam remained loyal to the Mughal Emperor, he did not assume an imperial title and continued to acknowledge Mughal suzerainty.   Done
  • "Asaf Jahi Nizams"→"Asaf Jahi Nizam"   Done
  • He was resolving a settlement between Muhammad Shah and Nadir Shah→He was resolving a dispute between Muhammad Shah and Nadir Shah   Done
  • Dehli invasion and Nadir Shah are capitalized twice.   Done
  • Maratha's→Maratha   Done
  • he appointed Khwaja Abdullah as the governor of Trichinopoly→he appointed Khwaja Abdullah as the governor of the city   Done
  • became a refuge in Trichinopoly→sought refuge in Trichinopoly
(Copy editor comment) All   Done. Can I Log In (talk) 18:57, 7 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "But in January 1743, Dalavayi Devarajaiya of Mysore, after establishing his hold on the Carnatic region, offered the Nizam 10,000,000 ₹ (Indian rupees) in exchange for Trichinopoly." Did the Nizam refuse? Mention it explicitly.   Done
  • could not show resistance→was in no position to mount an adequate defense   Done
  • blocking and disconnecting the supply line of Maratha's aid.→cutting its supply lines.   Done
  • was less than the Nizam's→was smaller than the Nizam's   Done
  • sowar→Sowar (didn't I ask you fix that already?)   Done
  • ₹s→₹ (Only use the rupee symbol if it was already in use at the time of the siege, otherwise replace it with the word rupees across the entire article.)   Done
  • the hill-fort of Penukonda, around the fort,→the hill-fort of Penukonda, the adjacent areas,   Done
  • The Maratha's influence in the region was replaced by French and British forces.→Maratha influence in the Carnatic subsequently waned, opening the way for the French and British East India Companies to split the region between themselves.   Done
  • Raghuji or Raghoji?   Done
  • Dalavayi→Dalavayi Devarajaiya (its wikilinked twice, remove the second one)   Done
  • Did the Nizam mount any assaults during the siege or did he just wait for the defenders to starve? If its the latter how much provision did they have? Unable to find this data
  • What kind of siege equipment was utilized?
  • Can you provide a couple of sentences of background details on the Maratha-Mughal power struggle? Did they only fight in the Carnatic? Why was the region so important?
Copyedits and Did the Nizam refuse? Mention it explicitly. are   Done by nominator; the last 3 bullet points are currently   Not done. Can I Log In (talk) 22:36, 8 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  Done except those said above, will complete today, Did the Nizam mount any assaults during the siege or did he just wait for the defenders to starve., data about assault and provisions is not retreivable online. :)Omer123hussain (talk) 04:25, 9 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • After the invasion of 1941→??
  • (also known as Nizam, Nizam I and Asaf Jah I)→Remove this from the lede, only mention the alternative names in a single sentence of the background  Done
  • But in January 1743→However in January 1743  Done
  • The Nizama accepted the offer and kept the condition for him to participate while attacking Trichinopoly.→ 1. Nizam is misspelled 2.If he accepted the offer, then did Mysore actually participate in the siege?  Done
  • The surrender of Trichinopoly along with Madurai terretory→The surrender of Trichinopoly along with the Madurai territory  Done
  • Wikilink Sufi  Done
  • By the end of 1743, the Nizam regained full control of Deccan.→By the end of 1743, the Nizam had regained full control of Deccan.  Done
  • Marath's→Maratha  Done
  • which had overthrown the internal rebellion of regional governors (Subedar)→What is that supposed to mean?  Done
  • Maratha's→Maratha  Done
  • and 150 war elephants→Mention the elephants in the infobox  Done

Next time you want to request a GA review have your article checked at Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors and have it checked for B class criteria. Or the review is going to drag because of copy editing issues.--Catlemur (talk) 16:52, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • The lede should serve purely as a summary of the article. Therefore there should not be any citations there. Currently it focuses too much on the aftermath of the siege, while it should represent a summary of the Background, Siege and Aftermath sections equally.  Done
  • Debold Nizam in the lede.  Done
  • Mubariz Khan is wikilinked twice.  Done
  • and assured Dalavayi to bring Trichinopoly under Mysore→and assured Dalavayi that Trichinopoly will be brought under his control  Done
  • Note A needs to be referenced by a reliable citation. I would suggest bringing its contents into the main body of the article actually.  Done
  • If there aren't any available sources on the process of the siege, siege equipment etc. This must be confirmed by a reliable source and mentioned in the main body of the article, otherwise this claim would constitute Original Research. If you cannot find a reliable source that confirms this, that means that the coverage of the siege is insufficient for GA status.  Done
  • Remove the second paragraph of the lede. Information should be presented in a chronological order. You talk about late 1743 in the first paragraph and then jump to 1741 in the second one.
Can be re-written in?   Done
  • Maratha's governor→Maratha governor  Done
  • as Maratha Emperor Shahu I was actively engaged in the expeditions to expand Maratha supremacy over the Delhi, Bengal and Odisha where in the imperial army of Mughal Emperor Muhammad Shah was confronting the attacks made by Maratha Emperor Shahu I at multiple fronts.→as Maratha Emperor Shahu I was actively engaged in the expeditions to expand Maratha supremacy over Mughal held Delhi, Bengal and Odisha.  Done
  • which later splited Maratha empire→which later caused the Maratha empire to desintegrate.  Done
  • Nizam was thou in a strong position with a large army and artillery kept his army on hold to attack the fort, diplomatically avoided any aggressive action and conflicts with Murari Rao's army.→Nizam intended to win the siege through attrition, placing his numerically superior army and artillery kept his army on hold, diplomatically avoiding any aggressive action and conflicts with Murari Rao's army.  Done
  • You mentioned artillery, what kind of artillery was it?
  • Discovered some content so added in the related section, Hope it serves the purpose.  Done
  • terretory→territory   Done
  • as he suffered from the financial crisis→as he suffered from a financial crisis  Done
  • Move the first paragraph of the Siege section to Prelude.  Done
  • The references section is inconsistent. If you cite a book you need to mention its title, the first and last names of its author(s), its ISBN, its publisher, its year of publication and an accessdate if you are linking to an online copy of it. This should be done for all books cited. (Repeating this one since it applies to the newly introduced references)--Catlemur (talk) 17:22, 17 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
@Omer123hussain: No, you haven't completed all the suggestions. Many references are still inconsistent even though you claimed that you have corrected them three times already. I am at my wit's end with this review, as it just keeps siphoning my (very limited) free time. Please carefully read my instructions and spellcheck your work before pinging me again.--Catlemur (talk) 17:57, 20 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Catlemur (talk · contribs) because some of the references (books and journals) are published in early 1920-30 that is why they do not have either isbn or some kind of information, any way this time I had re-arranged citations. the format I used is ((Text, Chapter, URL, Last, First, Year, Publisher and accessdate)Page numbers). I did my best to arrange them once again, please have a look. hope they are organized now.
  • "and another 200 elephant carrying artillery (Cannons, Guns and Carriages) and ammunition." - Do you mean elephant carried artillery? wikilink it to Mughal artillery. Cannons, Guns and Carriages should not be capitalized.
  • gauntlet links to a disambig page.  Done
  • decide to defend the fort with 4000 sepoy, 2000 Sowar and a considerable number of artillery that consist canons, guns, mortar and grenades.→decided to defend the fort with 4000 sepoy, 2000 Sowar and a considerable number of artillery that consisted of canons, guns, mortar and grenades.  Done
  • which kept the Nizma forces→ which kept the Nizam's forces  Done
Thanks once again, for your efforts.
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  --Catlemur (talk) 11:25, 21 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
Thanks, appreciate your peer sense to evaluate and patients. :)Omer123hussain (talk) 13:11, 21 September 2020 (UTC)Reply