I write short fiction. Some of it’s smutty. Some of it isn’t.

lunaticli8rarian:

arachnixe:

lunaticli8rarian:

defiantdreemurrs:

lunaticli8rarian:

arachnixe:

As my princess’s sinister advisor, I’m working to help her transition from demure chuckles of restrained amusement to full-throated “OHHHHH-ho-ho-ho-ho!” laughter at the misfortune of her enemies.

you know normal a8normal people would have their 8rain 8litzted 8y a horny post a8out some sort of romantic writing instead of getting 8lurry in the eyes after reading something like this.


……. i’m so normal.

yes, of course, dear princess, you are SO very normal indeed.

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

What do you mean. Do other people find this *not* romantic?

well, SOME people might get fuzzy for different reasons 8esides romance. A8normal a8normal people. people who aren’t me.

Well I’m here to support you.

And help you laugh again.

justanotherlilly:

noellellelle:

malware girl replicates herself in every file on your computer. okay?

reblog to spread her around

lunaticli8rarian:

defiantdreemurrs:

lunaticli8rarian:

arachnixe:

As my princess’s sinister advisor, I’m working to help her transition from demure chuckles of restrained amusement to full-throated “OHHHHH-ho-ho-ho-ho!” laughter at the misfortune of her enemies.

you know normal a8normal people would have their 8rain 8litzted 8y a horny post a8out some sort of romantic writing instead of getting 8lurry in the eyes after reading something like this.


……. i’m so normal.

yes, of course, dear princess, you are SO very normal indeed.

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

What do you mean. Do other people find this *not* romantic?

As my princess’s sinister advisor, I’m working to help her transition from demure chuckles of restrained amusement to full-throated “OHHHHH-ho-ho-ho-ho!” laughter at the misfortune of her enemies.

badgrlebie:

And it was.

arachnixe:

arachnixe:

I can’t help but notice the increasing population of princesses on this site, leaving one extremely important ecological niche underfilled: the sinister royal advisor.

The time of the treacherous vizier is nigh.

Now some people might try to tell you that a princess shouldn’t take advice from someone with “treacherous” right there in their job title, but you mustn’t listen to the bleating of sheep, Your Highness. The fools are just jealous that I’ve chosen the best and most special princess of all to serve. They’re envious of your beauty and your wisdom and the loyalty you command from even someone like me, and they wish only to tear you down.

ALT

One day on the job as treacherous vizier and the princesses are already offering free orchiectomies in a bid to entice me to their side. This proves their wisdom and grace.

mothmothm0th:

arachnixe:

bimbo-apocalypse:

arachnixe:

arachnixe:

I can’t help but notice the increasing population of princesses on this site, leaving one extremely important ecological niche underfilled: the sinister royal advisor.

The time of the treacherous vizier is nigh.

Now some people might try to tell you that a princess shouldn’t take advice from someone with “treacherous” right there in their job title, but you mustn’t listen to the bleating of sheep, Your Highness. The fools are just jealous that I’ve chosen the best and most special princess of all to serve. They’re envious of your beauty and your wisdom and the loyalty you command from even someone like me, and they wish only to tear you down.

You make such a compelling case with your constant flattery and defensiveness.

If I am to serve the very best princess of all, it is only right that I heap upon her the endless praise she has rightfully earned, and the princess who trusts me to handle pesky political matters that are beneath her station is possessed of exemplary wisdom indeed.

‘Tis most exemplary behaviour, indeed. Yet for one such as My royal self to delegate such matters –as though dreary and loathsome they might be, they are of utmost import and require decisiveness not found even among the upper eschelons of the court outside the royal bedroom–, an advisor requires more than sweet words. As I am, as you say, the wisest among the fleshly folk, the headaches of dreadful boredom serve well to prevent migraines of the lesser kind’s poor decisions. How answers my advisor of most honeyed words?

You imply the path to earning your trust with subtle cunning, Your Highness, and it is with humble gratitude I will keep your invitation in mind. Naturally, a mind as sharp as yours desires to hone itself regularly with even lesser affairs so as to demonstrate its razor acuity when more pressing concerns arise. I am overawed at your diligence, and it remains my honor to advise wherever my experience can augment your own decision making.

arachnixe:

bimbo-apocalypse:

arachnixe:

arachnixe:

I can’t help but notice the increasing population of princesses on this site, leaving one extremely important ecological niche underfilled: the sinister royal advisor.

The time of the treacherous vizier is nigh.

Now some people might try to tell you that a princess shouldn’t take advice from someone with “treacherous” right there in their job title, but you mustn’t listen to the bleating of sheep, Your Highness. The fools are just jealous that I’ve chosen the best and most special princess of all to serve. They’re envious of your beauty and your wisdom and the loyalty you command from even someone like me, and they wish only to tear you down.

You make such a compelling case with your constant flattery and defensiveness.

If I am to serve the very best princess of all, it is only right that I heap upon her the endless praise she has rightfully earned, and the princess who trusts me to handle pesky political matters that are beneath her station is possessed of exemplary wisdom indeed.

ALT

Sinister transfem vizier 🤝 scheming transmasc eunuch solidarity

super-ion:

super-ion:

super-ion:

Concept: individual gets “rescued” from hive mind, their body and identity warped and unrecognizable. They struggle to reintigrate into society, to conform to the expectations of their friends/family/colleagues. Everything feels wrong and they can’t figure out why they want to go back.

It’s always, “How are we going to reverse the genetic and cybernetic augmentations?” and “How are we going to reintegrate you into human society?”

It’s never, “How was the eternal swarm? Did you enjoy being a broodmother for the eternal swarm?”

tfw you’re experiencing intense flashbacks to your time in the eternal swarm, but you have to clock into your shift in the engineering bay in a quarter cycle…

Please… I miss my children that outnumber the stars in the sky

amiserablepileofwords:

arachnixe:

bimbo-apocalypse:

arachnixe:

arachnixe:

I can’t help but notice the increasing population of princesses on this site, leaving one extremely important ecological niche underfilled: the sinister royal advisor.

The time of the treacherous vizier is nigh.

Now some people might try to tell you that a princess shouldn’t take advice from someone with “treacherous” right there in their job title, but you mustn’t listen to the bleating of sheep, Your Highness. The fools are just jealous that I’ve chosen the best and most special princess of all to serve. They’re envious of your beauty and your wisdom and the loyalty you command from even someone like me, and they wish only to tear you down.

You make such a compelling case with your constant flattery and defensiveness.

If I am to serve the very best princess of all, it is only right that I heap upon her the endless praise she has rightfully earned, and the princess who trusts me to handle pesky political matters that are beneath her station is possessed of exemplary wisdom indeed.

Aw, come on, people, we’ve talked about this!
The first rule of your inevitable treachery is you don’t talk about your inevitable treachery… except when you think you’re alone in the room, “unaware” some dastardly do-gooder is conveniently close enough to “accidentally” overhear you and force your hand into accelerating your timetable

See, this is the kind of low-grade sinister advisor my princess would do well to avoid. Sloppy plotting and with schemes to rule the land themselves, oh! It would be disastrous to throw your crown in with this lot.

Not like me, Your Highness. I have no such ambitions, I can assure you. I much prefer to slink back here, in the shadow of the throne, making space for you to receive all the attention and adoration that is your due.