homunculus-argument:

I don’t think fantasy writers play enough with the concept of the different fantasy races having distinct ethnicities. Like imagine a group of mixed peoples, where the dwarves are all roasting each other like dwarves do, and one of them remarks that when he first saw one of the other dwarves in the group, he mistook her for a man. The other dwarves in the group blink in surprise - the closest that dwarves will go to an audible gasp of shock - and she pulls out a knife and tries to stab him.

Once the dwarves have been separated from each other and the situation has calmed, one of the humans asks another dwarf what that incident was about. Naturally a human woman would have been insulted too, but dwarves are so jovial about insulting each other, why was this matter different?

And the dwarf who was asked explains that there are things you can brutally insult another dwarf about, and there are things you simply do not touch. The dwarf-woman in question is from a completely different region of The Great Underground as the others, and her people have different norms about what kind of patterns men and women braid into their beards. The dwarf insulting her wasn’t only insulting her appearance, he was being racist.

The human is surprised to learn that dwarves have different peoples, and the dwarf looks at them like at an idiot. Of course they do, they even look completely different from each other. And the human listens as the dwarf lists off various distinguishing clothing details too nuanced for a human to notice, and then how dwarves coming from different corners of the world have different physical traits, according to what kind of conditions their local stone types dictate.

The human spots a connection and goes oh! We have that too, though ours are not about rock types and tunnel air, but the weather aboveground. Humans’ facial features vary by how hot, cold, arid or windy their ancestors’ homelands were, and our skin tone varies by how much the sun shines in their native region.

The dwarf frowns at the last part, going “I thought you people just paint your skin and dye your hair for fun”, and the human admits that yeah, we do that too, but not all the time, and not the whole skin. The dwarf asks, what of that tall woman the colour of dravite, her palms and the soles of her feet were lighter than the rest of her. Does that mean she paints herself dark to be more beautiful?

The human says no, that just happens naturally. Maybe it’s because one’s palms and feet aren’t exposed to the sun as much, so they are paler.

The dwarf nods, still unsure whether this is actually legit or just the human habit of lying for fun, and proceeds to ask about the wild northman of their party. He is as pale as an olm, but the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet are dark. Are they painted, or naturally that way?

No, the human answers. That guy just doesn’t bathe.

tmmyhug:

when i go in a room and forget what i needed i become a point and click protagonist. [water bottle?] that’s not helpful right now. [socks?] i don’t know what to do with that. [charger?] that’s not helpful right now. [scissors?] i can’t do anything with that. [water bottle?] that’s not helpful right now. [lone paperclip?] that’s not helpful right now. [water bottle?]

tmmyhug:

when i go in a room and forget what i needed i become a point and click protagonist. [water bottle?] that’s not helpful right now. [socks?] i don’t know what to do with that. [charger?] that’s not helpful right now. [scissors?] i can’t do anything with that. [water bottle?] that’s not helpful right now. [lone paperclip?] that’s not helpful right now. [water bottle?]

insiderzx:

Naruto & Jiraiya 💗

bercybbc:

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing

DTIYS by @aleksandracoffan

sams0yer:

👀

naykeed:

Anko Mitarashi

sandersstudies:

I hate when people ask me about my preference but I don’t understand their preference level. Like yes I kinda want Chinese food 10% more than I want a sandwich but if you want a sandwich like 40% more than Chinese food then I would say it’s totally reasonable we get sandwiches.

cadriox:

Baby iruka’s chunin exam

pomrania:

Major human pastimes:

• frying dough
• classifying things and then arguing about the classifications

clownboybebop:

sometimes when my mom gets drunk she goes into Liberated Women Mode, and one time she was real tipsy and while talking about her friend’s divorce, she very earnestly told me and my sister (both adults) that regardless of preference or relationship, she hoped we would both reach a point in our lives where we were having really good sex with really good people. and my sister said, “i do that now except the good people part” and i said, “sex is real?” and my mom didn’t love either of those answers

sketiana:

your honor my client has dark brown eyes hes allowed to do practically anything under the sun. yes. by every law ever written exactly right your honor. yes he can approach the bench so you can take a better look once again

vamptits:

vamptits:

yeah you caught me im actually in the pocket of Big Body Hair. they’re paying me crazy amounts of money to brainwash impressionable women into ruining their bodies by not shaving their legs.

worst part is im not even doing it for the money im just a sicko who loves bush.

kosmogrl:

there’s something very wrong with me, it’s called ‘I don’t want to do anything, ever’ and they said it’s chronic

iregularlyevadetaxes:

I love divorced middle aged women tiktok. Like yes Mel get that divorce it’s never too late