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Tuesday, October 1, 2024

Unwell Again

I started having back pain that reminded me of what I felt before I had my second PE in 2021. It's been bothersome so I'm going to see my pulmo tomorrow.



Hopefully it's nothing serious 🙏

*On the brighter side, Meredith has reclaimed her throne. I got her a fluffy bed, a cot, a house and boxes, but she really prefers the bamboo throne. She stormed out when we removed it for awhile. We'll let her be. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Monday, September 30, 2024

What Happened to the Calamansi Seeds I Propagated?

Thirteen months ago I bought 2 kilograms of calamansi from a neighbor. They were big and juicy so I decided to propagate the seeds. I know it's easier to graft a piece of a plant, but I like growing plants from seed. It's more exciting for me.



It grew very, very slowly. I grouped the seedlings into several pots since I wasn't sure if it would survive. Every so often caterpillars would eat the leaves, so I had to be consistent spraying it with Neem oil. I also gave it rice water weekly and topped it up with compost when I remember. 

I was surprised to see that most of those I transferred to soil grew steadily. I started to re-pot them to bigger pots this month. They're definitely calamansi because the leaves smell like citrus. Here are some I re-potted earlier this month:


Here's two before I re-potted them.


I now have 7 big pots! I'm going to be so stoked when they start bearing fruit.

Sunday, September 29, 2024

Happiness Everyday

I go through highs and lows every week. Having aedical condition makes my daily life unpredictable. We've learned to adjust when needed. 

I used to get so frustrated when I couldn't complete my to do list. I eventually accepted my situation and I now do monthly to-do list and wishlist. I just carry over whatever is not finished to the next month.


I stopped beating myself whenever I'm not able to complete things. I had to change how I look at things. I also adjusted my expectations. You can find happiness and peace no matter you're going through. Just count your blessings and live your life in love 💕 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Saturday, September 28, 2024

Caturday!

Well, everyday is a cat/kitten day for us since we have 8 cats and kittens who live with us. It's overwhelming when they are all swirling around my legs, haha. It's hard taking care of them, but they are blessings for me. 




The photo above is Grogu when I was watering plants earlier. He likes hanging out with me whenever I water plants. Every so often he would lie down on my feet. He does this to get belly rubs. He's all grown up now, but still loves belly rubs. His twin, Mando Laura, still just stays in our laundry area. She's so shy, she doesn't even want to go to the garage. Her siblings visit her during and meals and oftentimes naps with her. 




Brimsley's second litter, Eevee and Pikachu, are our most elusive kittens. We rarely get to pet them and they only come near if you have a treat. Eevee's growing bigger than Grogu. He's almost as big as Papa Grey now. Pikachu is the smallest, but she's a fighter. She fought off the intruder cat earlier. We have to train her not to hurt her housemates during meal time. 




Since Brimsley got sick a few months ago, she weaned off her kittens permanently. The weird thing is she doesn't want any of them going near her. She swipes at them if they come near. She doesn't do that to Anakin and Bailey even though they brush against her. Weird noh? Brimsley keeps to herself and every so often gets stuck on the garage roof. We think she's avoiding the busy garage because it's like a cat bar the whole day, haha.







The kittens, Bailey and Anakin, were both neutered last week. They were at the vet for a few hours and came back home like nothing happened. Well, Bailey was still a bit drunk from the anesthesia, but he soon came out of it. They were their usual playful self when I went out to play with them. 




Meredith has ended her tampururot season and has come back home. For a few weeks she stayed out and would sleep at our neighbor's. She'd only come if we call her and let her inside. When she came back she stayed at our front door. We're not sure what spooked her, but she's back living in the garage now. We've been bribing her with treats, haha.




The sad news is Kaley hasn't visited us for over two weeks now. She drops by several times a day for a snack. She was well although sneezing the last time I saw her. We can only hope she's busy with new kittens. Or maybe she's getting the feast she always wants that's why she hasn't been visiting anymore. We also didn't see her sisters, Cheyenne and Sandra for more than 6 months now. 

I can't imagine living without our fur babies now. I'm just amazed how the three of us learned how to care for cats. None of us had an pet cats growing up. We've been winging it the past two years. I'm just glad we've been able to get all our 8 live-in cats spayed and neutered. Thank you Lord for sending us these blessings and for the provisions so we can continue caring for them. 

#BeKind #StaySafe



Friday, September 27, 2024

Healing Your Inner Child

I was a child when my siblings left the nest. I am 16 and 13 years younger than them and they were adults by the time I started going to school.

It was not unusual for me that they were out most of the time. My parents had a rule that everyone had to be home by sunset. We were always complete for dinner, Sunday mass and lunch. I spent my days with my parents, Mama Lola or my yaya. We also had family outings every so often. We usually went to Bicol once a year.





The dynamics changed just before the EDSA Revolution. My siblings one after the other left home and got married within a span of 3 years. At that time I'd exchange snail mail with my sister until it dwindled to hurried long distance calls. I'd see my brother usually for Christmas. He'd either come home with his family or we'd fly in to see him.

Nothing out of the ordinary since that was the circumference we were in. It wasn't their fault they were born ahead and I came in very fashionably late. My sister did say once during my rebellious years that it was her fault she wasn't around for me. I told her there's no problem since the circumstance was just oddly normal.

I went on with my life and eventually my family was only complete physically again on my wedding day. The next time was when Dad got sick and then once after Mom passed away.

When I had counseling my doctor tried to help me figure out what was wrong. We didn't get to it since I felt I was fortified enough already and it was time for me to go back home. I thought I was fine, but dealing with the helper who emptied my Mom's savings, filing the case, making sure we were all safe and seeing my Mom change a lot after we got home, took a toll on me. 

I probably had an undiagnosed heart attack or a broken heart. My cardiologist refused to have tests done on me and just sent me home with increased dosage of my meds (I changed doctors after that). It took many months before I felt better. I cried everyday. I'm very lucky and grateful my boys were there for me.

It was then that I realized I was suffering from abandonment issues. My inner child never understood why my siblings left me. It got worse when they eventually couldn't see eye to eye. Dealing with fire and ice was an impossible situation. I talked to my Mom about it a lot and she advised me to just stop talking to them. She said it's their issue, they're adults and they should resolve it themselves. 

I followed her advise and only reached out to them on the day she died. I refused to see them until they had a ceasefire. We got together on my Dad's birthday. How things unfolded isn't what my parents would have wanted, but it is what it is.

I was lucky I had spiritual guidance from a dear Nun. I had prayed for many years to have someone like Br. Gene again. She guided me how best to get through things. I eventually also read that the only way to heal your inner child is to do it yourself. 

My inner child has accepted the fact that things will never be the same. The situation wasn't ideal and they have established their lives elsewhere. The best recourse for me is to just move forward and focus on those who are here for me. Through the years I had been blessed with many friends who have been like brothers and sisters to me. I keep a small circle of trust and they provide me a safe space, plus I have my boys. 

I was told once that I felt that way because I cared so much. It would have been useful to be told to live myself, protect my peace and focus on what's in front of you.

#BeKind #StaySafe



Thursday, September 26, 2024

15 Years After Typhoon Ondoy

It's been 15 years since typhoon Ondoy. It also means that it will soon be our 15th wedding anniversary. Moving on from a disaster is hard. Sweetie and I thought about delaying our wedding, but both our parents insisted to go on with the wedding. Our relatives had also booked their flights already and a week after our wedding was my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. It was also set to be celebrated. 




Both our homes were severely affected. A few days after I had to fly to Iloilo for an event. It was a good respite since we learned from the Ilonggo people how they moved on from disaster. They also had severe flooding before typhoon Ondoy happened. It was also warm and sunny when we went, so it served as a reminder that things will go back to normal eventually. 


With my friend Mabel. Her baby is all grown up now :)


Since typhoon Ondoy (and Pepeng), we made sure we would take precautions so we don't experience it again. We made sure to avoid living in flood prone areas. We learned recently that it's not really fool-proof. Even areas that don't flood may get flooded too. It really depends on the rainfall and the tide. So, we've been taking a lot of precautions. 

The best way to move on from a disaster is to learn from it. Always expect the unexpected and live your life the best way you can. I always think about the things I lost. The only thing I really regret is losing irreplaceable valuable photos. I'm just grateful I had some that were saved. 

Always stay dry and be safe. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wednesday, September 25, 2024

Watched "Lolo and the Kid"

I randomly selected "Lolo and the Kid" on Netflix yesterday. The boys were napping so I thought I should watch it. The boys are not fans of drama films. Also it was my Mama Lola's birthday and I wanted to feel the vibe of having a grandparent again.

I read reviews that the film is a tearjerker. I survived to almost the end without shedding a year. I started bawling towards the end. I was only 13 when my Mama Lola passed away. 

It was a strange day. I was dressed up for school and waiting for the school bus when the phone rang. I answered the phone and the person who called just blurted out that Mama Lola was gone. I immediately called my Mom and she took the call. 

I was in shock and just stood there. There was a sudden flurry of activity and they forgot about me. I started to cry, but was told it was nothing and I was sent to school. My parents didn't know I already knew and I hopped on the school bus and went to school.

During the day I was selected to be the prayer leader. During my prayer I mentioned that we should pray for all who died. My classmates didn't know, but I basically forced them to pray for my grandma.

Growing up I got to spend a lot of time with my Mama Lola. She lived with us for many years. Her past time was sewing and I usually hang out with her in the afternoons to play with her helper. Eventually she taught me how to use her sewing machine. That was the reason why I aced sewing class projects. I never learned to make clothes like her though.





My relatives told me that I was like my Mama Lola's mini me. I inherited all her quirks and I realize now that she was an introvert too. She left me her sewing kit and I now have her sewing machine. I'm looking for someone who can turn it into a console table since I don't think the machine will still work (vintage Singer electric sewing machine). 

Just like lolo in Lolo and the Kid, my Mama Lola always wanted what was best for me. I still miss my Mama Lola and I miss her paramdams. Mom didn't leave any of her stuff anymore, but who knows maybe I'll still find some random Mama Lola item.

#BeKind #StaySafe