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Parent and Teen Conflict and Communication Revised

Conflict is natural in relationships due to differences between people. While conflicts themselves are neutral, how they are managed can impact the relationship. Many parent-teen conflicts are unresolvable issues that will be revisited repeatedly, like homework, chores, technology use, and social activities. Effective communication is important during the teen years as teens gain independence. Authoritative parenting, which involves both responsiveness and demanding high standards, tends to produce the best outcomes in children. Managing conflicts requires valuing the relationship, building positive moments, learning from disputes, focusing on issues rather than personal attacks, and listening actively to understand different perspectives.

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129 views21 pages

Parent and Teen Conflict and Communication Revised

Conflict is natural in relationships due to differences between people. While conflicts themselves are neutral, how they are managed can impact the relationship. Many parent-teen conflicts are unresolvable issues that will be revisited repeatedly, like homework, chores, technology use, and social activities. Effective communication is important during the teen years as teens gain independence. Authoritative parenting, which involves both responsiveness and demanding high standards, tends to produce the best outcomes in children. Managing conflicts requires valuing the relationship, building positive moments, learning from disputes, focusing on issues rather than personal attacks, and listening actively to understand different perspectives.

Uploaded by

mati sicherer
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PPTX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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PARENT AND

TEEN
CONFLICT AND
COMMUNICAT
Conflict
Conflict is a difference of ideas or opinions. 
CONFLICT IS NATURAL

We are different, have different opinions, different values,


different personalities, and different needs.

Having a conflict with a person will not break the


relationship but how we manage it might.
Conflict
CONFLICT IS NEUTRAL

Does not have to be bad – may lead to positive outcomes:


• Better understanding
• New ideas
• A healthier relationship
• Mutual respect
• A fresh perspective
Conflict
ABSENCE OF CONFLICTS WITHIN A
FAMILY IS NOT NECESSARILY A HEALTHY
SIGN

climate of fear
issues ignored

Healthy families have conflicts but all members must learn


to manage them effectively.
Conflict

MANY PARENT-TEEN CONFLICTS ARE


UNRESOLVABLE
homework
room tidiness
time online
going out with friends

Will be dealing with the same issues over and over again
Conflict
Why do we fight with our teens?
Fundamental Bias
When we are wrong, we blame the situation. When others are
wrong, we blame their character and negative intentions.

When we are late, we blame the traffic. But when our


children are late, we accuse them of being lazy and
irresponsible.
Conflict
Why do we fight with our teens?
“HOT BUTTONS”
Teens can be overly sensitive, petulant , angry and
have difficulty with emotional self control. May get
very upset over things we see as trivial.

Parents may view these as challenges to authority.


Conflict
Why do we fight with our teens?

STRESSFUL, OVER-DEMANDING
PRESSURES
Work
Academics
Friends
Future
Finances
Conflict
Why do we fight with our teens?

COMPETENCE

Parenting is trial and error


Being a teenager is trial and error
Communication
Why is communication critical during the teen
years?
Spending more time away from parents
Gaining independence
Expected to take responsibility for actions
Needing guidance for healthy decision making and
character development
Listening
Why is listening such an important
part of communication?

The right kind of listening will lead to your teen


listening to you
ACTIVE LISTENING
Listening
Active Listening
Listen when your teen wants to talk
Listen without distractions
Listen without interrupting
Listen without judgment
Listen with your eyes, ears, & heart
Listen with empathy and share what you believe you
heard your teen say
Listen without needing to provide a solution
Listening
Active Listening
Listen & Use the 5 A’s….
• Affirmation
• Acceptance
• Appreciation
• Availability
• Accountability
Parenting Styles
Parenting Styles
Authoritative parenting :

 Emphasizes sensitivity
 Emphasizes reasoning
 Sets limits
 Is emotionally responsive
 Demands high standards
 Is nurturing and responsive
 Shows respect for children as independent, rational
beings
Parenting Styles
Authoritative parenting :
 Expects maturity and cooperation
 Doesn’t allow bad behavior without consequences
 Enforces rules but emphasize reasons for them
 Explains the consequences of good and bad
behavior
 Balances between freedom and responsibility
 Balances between being highly responsive and
very demanding
Parenting Styles
Children raised by authoritative parents are more
likely to become independent, self-reliant, socially
accepted, academically successful, and well-
behaved.

They are less likely to report depression and anxiety,


and less likely to engage in antisocial behavior like
delinquency and drug  use.
You may be an authoritative
parent if:

O You take your child's wishes and feelings into


consideration before you ask them to do something
O You encourage your child to talk about their feelings
O You try to help when your child is scared or upset
O You provide your child with reasons for the expectations
you have for them
O You respect your child's opinion and encourage them to
express them...even if they are different from your own
How do we Manage Parent-Teen
Conflicts?

1. VALUE EACH OTHER


2. BUILD POSITIVE MOMENTS IN YOUR
RELATIONSHIP
(5:1 ratio: 5 positive moments versus 1 negative moment)
3. LEARN THROUGH CONFLICTS
4. RECOVER FROM CONFLICTS
5. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
6. LISTEN ACTIVELY
How do we Manage Parent-Teen
Conflicts?

7. FOCUS ON ISSUES
8. CHOOSE YOUR FIGHT
8. ONE ISSUE AT A TIME
10. TIME YOUR FIGHT
11. NO PERSONAL ATTACKS
How do we Manage Parent-Teen
Conflicts?

Thank you all for


coming !

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