Transactional Analysis

Transactional Analysis and Managers

Transactional Analysis (TA) is a way to analyse behaviours
and offers strategies to achieve more effective negotiation,
decision-making, conflict resolution and improved customer
contact. If managers can identify the state in which they and
others operate, they can avoid unnecessary conflict and
improve communication. TA helps managers to understand
behaviour and perceived roles better. This highly effective
tool, rooted in cognitive behavioural therapy, was developed
by Eric Berne1 in 1964 and offers valuable insights into
interpersonal relationships and the impact of behaviours, both
of self and of others.

Berne was interested in identifying states of mind and this led

him to suggest that the human mind is divided into three
distinct moods, which he termed ‘ego states’. An ego state is
defined as a ‘consistent pattern of feeling and experience

1
Before World War II, Berne studied medicine and later served as a
psychiatrist in the army, after which he was in private practice in California.
During this latter period, he produced three seminal papers establishing the
theory and methods of TA. A number of books followed, with the Games
People Play being the most influential. Published in 1964 it has since sold
more than five million copies.

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directly relating to a corresponding consistent pattern of
behaviour.’2 He called these:
 The Parent
 The Adult
 The Child
In TA they are distinguished from the general terms ‘parent’,
‘adult’ and ‘child’ by the use of capital letters.

Development of the Ego States

The Child
No real thought process is involved. Further, the Child has no
experience to judge what is real or not or what is true or false.
All infants come into this world completely dependent on
others. Those who are picked up, fed and cared for develop
‘good’ feelings about themselves and others. Conversely,
those who are ignored feel rejected and store up ‘bad’
feelings about both themselves and the world.

The Child ego state is easily identified by its particular

vocabulary, frequently asking questions, for example, ‘Can I

2
Berne, Eric, Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy, p.13

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come too?’. The Child often mispronounces words or makes
exclamations, such as ‘Wow’, ‘Shucks’ and the like.

Typical of the messages which a child picks up in the first five

years or so of their life are:
 Always wash your hands before eating
 Do not talk with your mouth full
 Do not make a noise and disturb the baby
 Cross the road safely
 Treat strangers with caution

All these and many more are stored in the brain and comprise
the Parent ego state.

The Parent
Each person’s Parent state will be different for the messages
they have picked up are different. When one becomes more
aware of one’s unique Parent ego state, one will be able to
decide whether something one says or does is simply
because one feels one should and if its use is appropriate.

The Parent behaviour stems from feelings about what is

proper, right and wrong. The Parent speaks in dogmatic,

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autocratic terms and with a heavy emphasis on controlling.
The vocabulary includes a lot of advice, for example:
 ‘Never tell a lie’
 ‘Always say ‘thank you’’
 ‘Don’t talk to strangers’
A lot of clichés and proverbs may be used, for example:
 ‘Look before you leap’
 ‘Don’t walk under a ladder’

In practice, people have a hard time controlling their

expressions so these can be a good clue to the person’s ego
state. Similarly, body language is another important indicator.

The Adult
The Adult is the thinking, reasoning part of one’s personality
and it is the last ego state to form. However, it continues to
grow stronger after the growth of the Child and Parent states
has weakened.

When faced with a choice the Adult consults the:

 Parent – what would they have wanted him/her to do?
 Child – what does he/she want or not want to do?

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and then considers the different states to arrive at a decision
or ignores them in favour of the facts existing now. Where the
Adult ego state is well developed there is a likelihood that
negative uses of Parent and Child behaviour will be reduced.
Further, new behaviours based on today’s world follow.

The Adult will ask questions to get information, such as:

 ‘What happened?’
 ‘Where were you?’
and evaluate the answer with the aim of getting things done.
Adults tend to look people in the eye whilst talking and their
posture is generally relaxed but alert.

At any given moment each individual in a social aggregation

will exhibit one of these three ego states, and can shift from
one ego state to another. Everyday activities require us to
enter relationships or exchanges with those around us –
family, friends, colleagues or strangers. However transitory or
enduring the interchange or relationship may be, its success
can be influenced by the use of strategies. During every social
exchange we give ‘strokes’ 3, not necessarily in a physical

3
Berne, E., The Psychology of Human Relationships, (London, 1964),
Penguin

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sense, but rather by way of showing recognition of another’s
presence, usually through language.

‘Stroking’ is a general term for contact. In the words of Berne:

‘By extension of meaning, ‘stroking’ may be employed
colloquially to denote any act implying recognition of another’s
presence. Hence, a stroke may be used as the fundamental
unit of social action. An exchange of strokes constitutes a
transaction which is the unit of social intercourse.’ It is often
the type of ‘strokes’ given that decides role perception and
therefore the quality of the relationship.

The term ‘Transactional Analysis’ comes from the fact that

Berne describes the exchange of strokes as a ‘transaction’,
i.e. any conversation or exchange that takes place between
two people. Put simply, TA is a means of leveraging
communication to higher levels of effectiveness; put more
simply it is ‘a way of understanding what happens between
and within people’.4 The aim of TA is to move interactions to a
position of ‘I’m OK, you’re OK’, or, in other words, a ‘win-win’
situation.

4
Tudor, 2008

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Everyone needs to be recognised. For example, infants
recognise the physical touch of their parents. As we grow
older the need for stroking does not change, but the types of
stroke do. They may take the form of a smile, a nod or some
other positive form of recognition. In Transactional Analysis
jargon such positive strokes are termed ‘warm fuzzies’, as
they make both the giver and the receiver feel better. Not all
strokes are positive, for example, they may be scolding or
insulting; these are called ‘cold pricklies’. But these are to be
preferred to the ultimate put-down, namely, being ignored.

Strokes may take other forms, for example, they may be:
 Conditional: When a positive stroke e.g. a smile or
verbal interchange is given dependent on the reaction
to a request. If a parent says ‘You will make me very
happy if you get a place at university’, they are saying,
‘I’ll love you if you do something I want to see happen.’
 Plastic: These are strokes which are false flattery or
over the top. They are often given by people not used
to giving positive strokes and they go over the top.
 Ritual or maintenance: An example would be walking
in to work and saying ‘Hi’ to the receptionist. As a
general rule short rituals are used with people whom
we do not know well and longer ones with those whom

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 we do. This ritual is easy but its importance cannot be
minimised.

To practise TA competently requires good observation skills

and the ability to note the use of language, choice of words,
mood, tone, posture, gestures, and body language of both
others and oneself. The ability to read one’s own
communication and that of others takes time to develop. It can
be of particular use in sales transactions, negotiations and
managing conflict.

In short, these states are possible ways of ‘being and

relating’5 which are influenced by choice and expectations
based on past experiences, as well as the present situation. It
is the configuration of the roles adopted by different
individuals in any exchange which influences the success of
interactions. The ideal state is Adult to Adult: both parties
operating rationally, logically and reasonably, unhindered by
their emotions.

5
Tudor, 2008

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Patterns of Transaction
Tudor describes three types of TA transactions. The first is
‘parallel’, ideally Adult to Adult (Figure 1.1). Although parallel,
a dysfunctional transaction would be Parent to Child, (Figure
1.2). In this case for example, a customer can act in a Child-
like way to hook the Parent. They may ask endless questions,
or seem distracted, disorientated and unrealistic. Or they may
act silly, unable to make up their minds or keep changing their
minds. Thus it may be tempting to respond as the Parent.
Another ineffective configuration is that of ‘crossed’
transaction (Figure 1.3) in which one party operates from
Adult ego but the second party does not.

Figure 1.1: Ideal Parallel

P P Transaction (Adult to
Adult)

A A

C C

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Figure 1.2: Dysfunctional Parallel Transaction (Parent to
Child)

P P

A A

C C

Figure 1.3: Dysfunctional Crossed Transactions

P P P P
OR
A A A A

C C C C
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Group Interaction Analysis
In analysing interactions the following information is required:
 What is said
 How it is said
 Who said it to whom
 When it was said
 Where the interaction occurred

The Three Ego States

Brain development in babies means that the first ego state to
develop is that of Parent, copied from our parents or carers.
Generally, this is rule-related, and if individuals do not develop
the Parent state they lack a clear personal value system. The
second phase of development is that of Child, which usually
begins when a child starts to develop relationships with other
children, notions of equity and fairness, and can compare
him/herself with his/her peers. Around puberty the Adult ego
state begins to develop. At this point there is a tension, it is
more comfortable to remain Child, there are no
responsibilities and adult demands, yet there are societal
pressures to move on. The Adult role is the only state which
continues to develop throughout life; Child and Parent stop
evolving. Every day is an opportunity to develop Adult skills. If

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the individual’s ego state and that of another can be identified,
and a deliberate choice made to match the ego state in order
to get fruitful transactions6, then the likelihood of successful
communication is increased.

The Adult ego is rational, reasonable and questioning. It

develops from the age of adolescence onwards. Everyone
can switch roles; the skill is to recognise which role is being
used at a given time, so one can make necessary
adjustments. Whilst it might be appropriate to show distress
and vulnerability – as a Free Child (FC) – in the security of
one’s home, it is not appropriate to do so in the office, where
an Adult approach is required. As a parent at home a Parent
role, specifically Nurturing Parent (NP) is required when
negotiating bedtimes with a child. However, with a difficult
employee this could be seen as punitive as it could be
construed as patronising and inappropriate, possibly leading
to the employee reverting to the unreasonable Child role.7

6
Callis, S., ‘Transactional Analysis in Management Development’, in
Journal of Education and Training, July-August 1984, pp198-199
7
See Table 1

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Within each of the three role categories (Adult, Parent, and
Child) are subdivisions. Table 1 shows all the categories and
indicates both positive and negative aspects of each role.

An example of this is the Parent role. The manager who

adopts a Parent ego state is likely to elicit a Child response
from his colleague, whereas an Adult role would fail to
acknowledge a Child role being displayed, and therefore force
the employee to ‘come up’ to interact as Adult to Adult. While
the ideal relationship to get things done is Adult to Adult,
where rational discussion and negotiation makes
communication most effective, everyone needs to be able to
get in touch with their Parent side (to ‘check the rules’), and
with their inner Child (in order to have fun and as an outlet for
both positive and negative emotions).

The Critical Parent (CP) is judgemental and adopts the role of

critic. The Rescuing Parent (RP) is driven by a desire to help
others if they are having difficulties, sometimes to the
detriment of the others’ personal growth and development. A
Nurturing Parent (NP) is caring and encourages growth and
independence. Finally, a Firm Parent (FP) is very close to the
Adult but, nevertheless, operates under Parent rules, and is
quick to anger and fails to ask questions before punishing.

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Typical management styles are those of the Critical Parent
and the Rescuing Parent.

The Child may be pushed into a role by a controlling Parent,

perhaps a senior manager who does not want to deal with
colleagues on an equal footing. The relationship between TA
and McGregor’s motivation Theory X and Theory Y (1985) is
clear. Those managers believe that staff require controlling
(Theory X) are likely to manage using the Parent to Child
configuration. The onus is then on the Child to move upwards
to the rational logical Adult position and, by balancing out the
relationship, bring the Parent down to the Adult position – one
of equality. The Child role is sometimes adopted by a staff
member who does not wish to be responsible, who is not
motivated to operate as an autonomous individual, or who
prefers to be taken care of and told what to do. For such
employees motivational issues need to be addressed before
ego states can be influenced and changed.

How to become Adults

How can managers adopt an Adult ego state and encourage
their staff to do likewise in order to improve communication?
First they must observe (themselves and others) and improve

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their intrapersonal and interpersonal skills, thus enhancing
their emotional intelligence. Managers must develop
awareness, asking themselves questions about what they
observe and determine what roles they, and their colleagues,
adopt in certain situations. It is important not to place too
much blame on external factors and to take more
responsibility for one’s own ability to influence interactions. If
someone is behaving in a Child role, one might question if
others are operating from a Parent ego state.

TA is not a means of avoiding conflict or negotiation; rather it

is a skill to manage them more effectively. Managers must
learn to implement strategies to move themselves, and others
into Adult to Adult interactions. It is easier to develop
strengths than to improve weaknesses, and they must
cultivate the insights to identify situations in which they thrive,
which also trigger the Adult ego state. Managers need to
identify the feelings, attitudes and behaviours they use as well
as both asking for, and giving, useful feedback. This can be
done by noting the words another is using, the posture
adopted, the tone of voice, the body gestures used, and so
on. At the same time we should also be listening and
watching ourselves. The identification of how ego states

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contribute to what went well or badly in transactions can help
to identify useful interventions for the future.

The wider application of TA through its introduction to staff

training and development provides opportunities for more
effective organisational communication, as well as improving
the emotional health and intelligence of the organisation.

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Table 1: Ego States and Associated Characteristics in Transactional Analysis8

Positive Negative Associated Phrases Body Language

Critical  Clear feedback  Critical  ‘Why don’t you...?’  Finger wagging

Parent Parent  Prejudicial  ‘You should have’  Frowning
(may have (CP)  Punitive  ‘You ought to know  Foot tapping
prejudice  Moralising better’  Folded arms
or bias)  ‘Don’t do that’  Sighing
 ‘That’s wrong’
 ‘How dare you’

Rescuing  Popular with  Limits growth  ‘Poor you’  Open body language
Parent needy staff and prevents  ‘Don’t worry’  Comforting physical
(RP) (Helpless Child independence  ‘I’m sorry that ….’ gestures
and Defensive  Consoling sounds
Child)

Nurturing  Cares but does  Supportive but  ‘Let me show you how’  Open body language
Parent not rescue prevents Child  ‘Try this’
(NP)  Supportive moving into  ‘Do it this way’
 Encourages Adult role  ‘Watch me first’
independence
and personal
development

8
Hood and Turpin, 2010
 Firm  Clear  Lashes out  ‘This is what I expect’  Finger wagging
Parent  Usually fair  Punitive  ‘This is what you must  Frowning
(FP)  Limits do’  Foot tapping
communication  ‘This will not do’  Folded arms

Adult Adult (A)  Straightforward None; asks  ‘Let us consider the  Open body language
(rational clear questions such as: possible alternatives’  Relaxed
and statements  ‘What is it that is  Confident
logical)  Processes  ‘What seems preventing our
data, examines to be the reaching a decision?’
information, problem?’  ‘When you do X then I
estimates  ‘How did the feel Y’
probabilities problem  ‘I am finding it difficult
and makes arise?’ that ….’
decisions  ‘I need …’
 Gives clear
feedback
 Not controlled
by past
experiences or
influences

Child Little  Intuitive  Manipulative or  ‘What if ….?’  Hesitant body

(lacks Professor personality sly language
reasoning (LP)  Reluctant to
power) commit

Free Child  Expressive  Unaware of  ‘I don’t like….’  Over exuberant body

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(FC)  Often articulate impact on language
 Can show others  Crying
initiative in  Laughing
pursuit of
personal goals

Helpless  Not  Wants to be  ‘I can’t’  Submissive

Child (HC) embarrassed to rescued  ‘What should I do?’  Tense body language
acknowledge  Looks to others  ‘Yes but…’
fears and to be told what  ‘The problem is…’
needs to do
 Lacks initiative
 Attracts support
of Rescuing
Parent
 Blames others
 Demanding of
attention

Defensive  Keen impulse  Feels attacked  ‘Why me?’  Closed body language
Child (DC) for self- and persecuted  ‘It’s not fair’  Angry
preservation  Brings  ‘Why should I?’  Avoids eye contact
 Strong willed ‘baggage’ from
childhood
References

Berne, E., The Psychology of Human Relationships, (London, 1964), Penguin

Callis, S., ‘Transactional Analysis in Management Development’ in Journal of Education and Training, July-
August 1984

Goleman, D., Working with Emotional Intelligence, (London, 1999), Bloomsbury

Goleman, D., Social Intelligence the New Science of Human Relationships, (London, 2006), Hutcheson

McGregor, D., The Human Side of Enterprise, (London, 1985), McGraw Hill

Tudor, K., The Adult is Parent to the Child, (Lyme Regis, 2008), Russell House Publishing

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