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Holiday Inn Script

Irving Berlin's 'Holiday Inn' is a musical featuring music and lyrics by Berlin, with a book by Gordon Greenberg and Chad Hodge. The show premiered on Broadway in 2016 and includes a variety of classic songs by Berlin, highlighting themes of love and nostalgia. The production was directed by Gordon Greenberg and produced by Roundabout Theatre Company in association with Universal Stage Productions.
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0% found this document useful (0 votes)
4K views141 pages

Holiday Inn Script

Irving Berlin's 'Holiday Inn' is a musical featuring music and lyrics by Berlin, with a book by Gordon Greenberg and Chad Hodge. The show premiered on Broadway in 2016 and includes a variety of classic songs by Berlin, highlighting themes of love and nostalgia. The production was directed by Gordon Greenberg and produced by Roundabout Theatre Company in association with Universal Stage Productions.
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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LIBRETTO-VOCAL BOOK Irving Berlin's Holiday Inn Music and Lyrics by Irving Berlin Book by Gordon Greenberg and Chad Hodge Orchestrations by Larry Blank Vocal and Dance Arrangements by Sam Davis Additional Dance and Vocal Arrangements by Bruce Pomahac Originally Produced by Goodspeed Musicals, Michael P. Price, Executive Director Produced on Broadway by Roundabout Theatre Company Todd Haimes, Artistic Director/CEO; Julia C. Levy, Executive Director ‘Sydney Beers, General Manager; Steve Dow, Chief Administrative Office Produced in association with Universal Stage Productions Directed on Broadway by Gordon Greenberg Copyright © 2016 Universal City Studios LLC. International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved, oy, wn gm, aw s aw CONCORD THEATRICALS ony, FOR PRODUCTION ENQUIRIES UNITED STATES AND CANADA Info@iconcordtheatricals com 1-866-598-8449 aw? concordtheatricals.com CONCORD UNITED KINGDOM AND EUROPE licensingaiconcordtheatricals.co.uk THEATRICALS (020-7054-7200 concordtheatricals.co.uk a ms aw’ PERMISSION TO PERFORM ; fe ein ibtted. Alllicense requests should be directed to your Concord Theatricals licensing representative. For questions please utilize the above contact information. “STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY BABY" © Copyright 1947 Irving Berlin; “I'LL CAPTURE YOUR HEART SINGING” © Copyright 1941 Irving Berlin; “THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE” © Copyright 1930 Irving Berlin; “BLUE SKIES” © Copyright 1926, 1927 Irving Berlin; “MARCHING ALONG WITH TIME” © Copyright 1938 Irving Bertin “HEAT WAVE" © Copyright 1933 Irving Berlin; “IT'S A LOVELY DAY TODAY” © Copyright 1950 Irving Bertin: “PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR" © 1942 Irving Berlin: “NOTHING MORE TO SAY" © Copyright 1948 Irving Berlin; "SHAKING THE BLUES AWAY" © Copyright 1927 Irving Berlin; “WHITE CHRISTMAS" © Copyright, 1940, 1942 Irving Berlin; “HOLIDAY INN” © Copyright 1942 Irving Berlin; “HAPPY HOLIDAY” © Copyright 1941, 1942 Irving Berlin; “LET'S START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT” © 1941 Irving Berlin; "YOU'RE EASY TO. DANCE WITH" by © Copyright 1941 Irving Berlin; “LET'S TAKE AN OLD FASHIONED WALK" © Copyright, 1948, 1949 Irving Berlin: “BE CAREFUL, IT'S MY HEART” © Copyright 1941, 1942 Irving Berlin: “CHEEK TO. CHEEK” © Copyright 1935 Irving Berlin: “ABRAHAM” © Copyright 1942 Irving Berlin; "EASTER PARADE” © Copyright 1933 Irving Berlin; “SONG OF FREEDOM" © Copyright 1942 Irving Berlin; “LET'S SAY IT WITH FIRECRACKERS” © Copyright 1942 Irving Berlin, “FINALE” © Copyright 1935, 1941, 1947 Irving Berlin “For all songs listed above, this anangement © Copyright 2017 The ining Berlin Catalog Beneficiaries LP. d/b/a The Estate of Irving Berlin. INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTS SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Administered by Willamson Music (ASCAP): a Concord Musie Company for Irving Berlin Publishing LP. d/b/a Irving Berlin Music Company. Copyrights Renewed. Intemational Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved. Irving Berlin's HOLIDAY INN began previews on Broadway at Studio 54 on September 1, 2016 in New York, New York and opened officially on October 6, 2016. It played for a total of 38 previews and 117 performances. Produced by Roundabout Theatre Company (Todd Haimes, Artistie Director; Harold Wolpert, Managing Director; Julia C. Levy, Executive Director; Sydney Beers, General Manager) in association with Universal Stage Productions. Set Design - Anna Louizos; Costume Design — Alejo Vietti; Lighting Design - Jeff Croiter; Sound Design - Keith Caggiano; Orchestrations ~ Larry Blank; Vocal and Dance Arrangements ~ Sam Davis; Additional Dance and Vocal Arrangements ~ Bruce Pomahac; Music Coordinator ~ John Miller; Hair & Wig Design - Charles G. LaPointe; Make-Up Design - Joe Dulude II; Associate Director - Andy Seiior, Jr.; Associate Choreographer ~ Barry Busby; Production Management ~ Aurora Productions; Production Stage Manager ~ Michael J. Passaro; Casting = Jim Carnahan, C.S.A, Carrie Gardner, C.S.A., Stephen Kopel, C.S.A.; Press Representative ~ Polk & Co.; Associate Managing Director ~ Steve Dow; Director of Marketing & Audience Development ~ Robert Sweibel; Director of Development ~ Lynne Gugenheim Gregory; Founding Director - Gene Feist; Adams Associate Artistic Director ~ Scott Ellis; Executive Producer Sydney Beers; Musical Supervision & Direction by Andy Einhorn; Choreographed By Denis Jones; Directed by Gordon Greenberg with the following cast: Jim Hardy.............. Bryce Pinkham ‘Ted Hanover. Corbin Bleu Lila Dixon . veeeeees veeeeeeeeeeees++Megan Sikora Damny...... 2.1 BaSeaEratiEn ve NRW Wt 10 “ «+. Lee Wilkof Charlie Winslow. seeeeeee+s Morgan Gao Linda Mason feet eet e ttt bttttttttsssestssses Lora Lee Gayor Lemhstics 06 0s onesie Ensemble -++.Megan Lawrence «Darien Crago, Caley Crawford, Jenifer Foote, Shina Ann Mortis, Catherine Ricafort, Amanda Rose, Jonalyn Saxer, Samantha Sturm, Amy Van Norstrand, Paige Williams, Malik Akil, Will Burton, Barry Busby, Matt Meigs, Drew Redington, Parker Slaybaugh, Travis Ward-Osborne, Victor Wischart, Kevin Worley, Borris York Barry Busby, Caley Crawford, Jenifer Foote, Parker Slaybaugh Swings . Originally produced by Goodspeed Musicals, Michael P. Price, Executive Producer CHARACTERS JIM HARDY ~ A performer and singer-songwriter eager to leave showbiz behind for a simpler life on a farm in Connecticut, thirties (lyric baritone) TED HANOVER - Jim's best friend and performing partner; a charming ladies’ man looking for his big break, thirties (lyric baritone) LILA DIXON - A determined performer and Jim’s mismatched fiancée, thirties (high belt) DANNY - Jim, Ted and Lila’s agent, thirties to fifties CHARLIE WINSLOW - A precocious bank messenger, nine to twelve LINDA MASON - A school teacher with the hidden talents of a singer and dancer, thirties (belt/mix) LOUISE - The local “fix it” woman; tough, no nonsense and extremely perceptive, forties to fifties (belt) ENSEMBLE: ANNOUNCER NIGHTLY DANCERS (STANLEY, DAPHNE, SAWYER, STELLA, BYRON, ROSE, JANIE, ‘SUSIE, BRENDA, HADLEY) RADIO QUARTET RADIO HOST RADIO VOICE OVER DANNY'S MOTHER (VOICE OVER) FIRST A.D. DIRECTOR FIRST A.D. CAMERAMAN SOUND MAN PA. MIDVILLE TOWNSPEOPLE HOLIDAY INN GUESTS MUSICAL SYNOPSIS ACTI Scene 1: The Cat's Meow Nightclub, Stage - August 1946 “Steppin’ Out With My Baby / I'll Capture Your Heart” Scone 2: Lila's Dressing Room, Backstage at The Cat's Meow “The Little Things in Life” Scene 3: Mason Farmhouse, Midville, “Blue Skies”... . Jim & the Ensemble ‘Siarching Along wit Tite «, o ise sw eee mw RRO eR Linda & Jim Scene 4: Nightclubs, The Midwest / The Farmhouse “Heat Wave” Scene 5: Behind the Barn, The Farm “It’s a Lovely Day Today” . Scene 6: KENO Radio Studios, Las Vegas “Plenty to Be Thankful For”....... Scene 7: Linda's Apartment - Thanksgiving 1946 “Plenty to Be Thankful For (Reprise)” “Marching Along With Time (Reprise) Scene 8: KENO Radio Studios / The Farmhouse “Nothing More to Say” Scene 9: The Farmhouse ~ Christmas Eve 1946 “Shaking the Blues Away” “White Christmas”...... . Scene 10, Holiday Inn (Stage) ~ New Year's Eve 1946 “Holiday Inn / Happy Holiday” “Let's Start the New Year Right”. . Jim, Ted, Lila & the Ensemble immediately following ‘Ted, Lila & the Ensemble -Jim, Lila & Louise -Ted, Lila & the Ensemble Linda & Charlie .- Linda Louise & the Ensemble Jim & Linda - Jim, Louise & the Ensemble . Linda, Jim, Ted & the Ensemble MUSICAL SYNOPSIS ACTII Scene 1: Holiday Inn (Bedroom & Halls) - New Year's Day 1947 “You're Easy to Dance With” . ‘Ted & the Girls Scene 2: Outside Midville Elementary School & M: “Let's Take an Old-Fashioned Walk” ...........60000000seeeeeeeeeeee .. Jim & Linda Scene 3: Rehearsal Studio, New York City ~ February 1947 Scene 4: Holiday Inn (Outside & Stage) - Valentine's Day 1947 “Be Careful, It's My Heart”. feeb eetseeeeeeeeeeeees Jim, Linda & Ted Scene 5: Holiday Inn (Stage & Backstage) “Cheek to Cheek”..... +++. Ted, Linda & the Ensemble Scene 6: Midville Town Center / Holiday Inn (Stage & Backstage) - Easter 1947 “Easter Parade (cont’d)” 0.2.62 60s0sseeeeeeeesenecene ‘Ted, Linda, Jim, & the Ensemble Scene 7: Holiday Inn (Living Room) - Independence Day 1947 “Song of Freedom”...........0000000eeecee eee eeeeeeeeeseeeeee es Linda, Ted & Jim Scene 8: Holiday Inn (Stage & Backstage) / The Barn “Let's Say It with Firecrackers / Song of Freedom” “Nothing More to Say (Reprise)”...... Scene 9: Holiday Inn (Living Room) ~ Thanksgiving 1947 Scene 10: Universal Studios Sound Stage, Los Angeles “White Christmas (Reprise)”.........060ccs0ecceseeeeseeeeeeneeeees +++ Linda & Jim Scene 11: Movie Screen Scene 12: Holiday Inn (Stage) “Binale” oo... e cece cece eeeeeeeeecceeeeeeseeeeecseeeeeneeees . The Company Jim, Ted, Linda & the Ensemble veces . Linda A NOTE TO THE DIRECTOR When we started adapting the classic film Holiday Inn for the stage, we were struck by the idea of our everyday reality versus the curated reality we now see in social media. In the Golden Age of Hollywood, this was the exclusive province of celebrities, but now anyone can control how their reality is perceived by others. It dawned on us that this classic film was making an important statement about the value of living in the moment, being true to yourself, and loving the truth of your life over the glamorized, edited, “filtered” version. While staying true to the warmth and spirit of the original film, our Holiday Inn is built for contemporary audiences. Although it is essential to cast the show with actors who have a deep respect and affection for this period and , it is just as important to invest these characters with truth, humanity and the current sensibility that informs so much of the humor. Whether it’s the awkward meeting of Jim and Linda, both unable to communicate easily, the narcissism of Ted, or the unconventional relationship forged between Louise and Jim, this is a world that exists simultaneously in 1946 and in the now. This likewise applies to the ensemble, a diverse group of quirky ebullient individuals, whose energy and pulse - and kinetic dancing ~ propel the show. The more you find unique characters for each member of the ensemble and embrace their individual senses of humor and connection to the heart of the story, the more the show comes alive. Ultimately, this show is a joy machine, and the fuel it runs on is the spirit created in the rehearsal room. We encourage you to cultivate all the humor, humanity and appreciation for this beloved era you can, and we wish you a wonderful stay at Holiday Inn. Gordon Greenberg & Chad Hodge Book writers, Holiday Inn ACTI IMUSIC 1; “OVERTURE”] Scene One The Cat's Meow Nightclub, Stage - August 1946 (The NIGHTLY DANCERS enter at a small nightclub in Flatbush.) IMUSIC 2: “STEPPIN’ OUT WITH MY BABY / I'LL CAPTURE YOUR HEART"] ANNOUNCER (RECORED VOICE OVER) ‘The Cat's Meow in downtown Flatbush is thrilled to present... The Wedding Bell Revue! BOYS STEPPIN’ OUT WITH MY BABY CAN'T GO WRONG 'CAUSE I'M IN RIGHT IT’S FOR SURE, NOT FOR MAYBE THAT IM ALL DRESSED UP TONIGHT, GIRLS STEPPIN’ OUT WITH MY HONEY CAN'T BE BAD TO FEEL SO GOOD NI FELT QUITE SO SUNNY SO 1 KEEP ON KNOCKIN’ WOOD, (Then, as BOYS propose to GIRLS.) Ido! (Dance break. The DANCERS exit to reveal tonight's headlining act: JIM HARDY, an open- hearted romantic singer, and TED HANOVER, as slick on the dance floor as he is with women.) GIRLS And now please welcome... Hanover, Hardy, and Dixon! 10 HOLIDAY INN JIM STEPPIN’ OUT WITH MY BABY TED CAN'T GO WRONG CAUSE I’M IN RIGHT. JIM & TED ASK ME WHEN WILL THE DAY BE. THE BIG DAY MAY BE TONIGHT! TED HERE SHE COMES, DOWN THE STREET (IED points to the entering LILA DIXON, a dolled-up showgirl with bright eyes and long legs.) JIM MY, OH MY, AIN'T SHE SWEET? TED WHY, HERE COMES MY HOT TODDY JIM OVER MY DEAD BODY I'LL CAPTURE HER HEART SINGING TED JUST WAIT UNTIL SHE GETS A LOAD OF MY DANCING JIM JUST WAIT TILL I START SINGING TED I'LL TAKE HER STROLLING DOWN THE ROAD WITH MY DANCING JIM ICAN’T GO WRONG ATENDER SONG AND SHE'LL DISCOVER MY CHARMS HOLIDAY INN "11 TED SOME FANCY TAPS AND SHE'LL COLLAPSE AND FALL RIGHT INTO MY ARMS JIM (To LILA.) I'LL TAKE YOU THROUGH LIFE SINGING TED OH NO YOU HAVEN'T A CHANCE WHEN I— (TED shows off his tap dancing skills.) GO INTO MY DANCE LILA (To IM.) IF YOU COULD DANCE INSTEAD OF SING I'D LEARN TO LOVE YOU SOMEHOW (To TED.) IF YOU COULD SING INSTEAD OF DANCE I'D TAKE YOU HOME WITH ME NOW... GIM dances with LILA.) JIM DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DAH DOO DAH DOO DAH (TED dances with LILA.) JIM & LILA DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DAH DOO DAH DOO DAH (In an increasing tug-of war for LILA’s affections, TED tap dances and JIM scats, getting so caught up in the competition that they do not notice LILA leaving with another MAN.) JIM & TED AND THEN WE'LL START A ROMANCE! OH, NO YOU HAVEN'T A CHANCE, 12 HOLIDAY INN TED & JIM WHEN I GO INTO MY DANCE/SONG ASK ME WHEN WILL THE DAY BE THE BIG DAY MAY BE TONIGHT IMUSIC 2A: “STEPPIN’ OUT PLAYOFF”] HOLIDAY INN = 13, Scene Two Lila’s Dressing Room, Backstage at the Cat's Meow - Immediately Following GIM knocks on LILA’s dressing room, ducks his head in.) JIM Happy closing, honey! LILA I can't believe we're closing. It feels like we just opened. JIM Because we did. It was a one-night gig. LILA I wish we could find something more permanent, you know? I don’t think I'll make it through another dry spell like the one in March. JIM Lila... LILA ‘And April. JIM Lila... LILA And 1945... JIM Lila... You won't have to. (IM is now down on one knee, holding out a ring. LILA sees and gasps.) Lila. It’s been two years of laughter and song and love. Will you marry me? LILA Oh, Jim! This is so exciting. I always pictured a church wedding but if we could get Camegie Hall the Times would cover it. 4 HOLIDAY INN JIM Well... LILA It won't be cheap. So you'll write a new show! New songs. A new booking with full houses every night. JIM I was actually thinking we could fill a house of our own. A real house. With a real family. LILA (Looks at him, frozen.) Whose family? GIM produces a deed from his pocket.) JIM Lila, I finally did it, I bought a farm. With a farmhouse. In Connecticut. LILA Connecticut? We can’t leave New York. We can't just up and leave. JIM But Lila, we promised each other that when the gigs dried up we'd get out of show business and live a normal life. LILA T’ve always wanted to be normal. After I’m famous. [MUSIC 3: “THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE"] JIM Lila, we don't need alll that.. LILA Says who? JIM JUST A LITTLE ROOM OR TWO CAN MORE THAN DO ALITTLE MAN AND WIFE HOLIDAY INN “15 ‘THAT'S IF THEY'RE CONTENTED WITH ‘THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE LIVING ON A LARGER SCALE WOULD SOON ENTAIL ALOT OF CARE AND STRIFE WE COULD BE SO HAPPY WITH ‘THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE (Then.) We've played enough gigs in second-rate clubs with overheated dressing rooms and bad plumbing. LILA (Can't disagree.) Yeah. JIM Never knowing what comes nest. Or if anything comes next. LILA Yeah. JIM I want a real life. A simple life. A life with you. (Sings.) ALITTLE RAIN ALITTLE SUN ALITTLE WORK ALITTLE FUN ‘ALITTLE TIME FOR LOVING WHEN THE DAY IS DONE (Then.) I want to wake up in the morning and do an honest day’s work. I want to grow things. LILA Since when do we wake up in the morning? JIM AND A LITTLE THING THAT CRIES FOR LULLABIES COULD MAKE A MAN AND WIFE TELL THE WORLD HOW MUCH THEY LOVE, THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE (They kiss. TED bursts in with their agent DANNY.) 16 HOLIDAY INN DANNY Here they are! TED Jimmy, listen to this! JIM Great news, boys! DANNY How did you know? LILA How did you know? TED How did they know? JIM How did I know what? TED Danny just booked us for a six-week tour that ends at the Pump Room! LILA The Pump Room in Chicago?! DANNY No, the pump room in my Aunt Lipky’s basement. Yes, the Pump Room in Chicago! TED We'll be halfway to Hollywood! LILA This is thrilling! We'll need new routines! TED And a spotlight devoted to me. ” HOLIDAY INN 17 DANNY And ten-percent devoted to me. LILA And new falsies devoted to me. DANNY You won't have time for all that. You're filling in for Red Skelton. He's laid up with kidney stones. LILA That’s horrible. I'll have to write him a thank-you note. DANNY On the train! We're leaving tonight! LILA Tl telephone mother and tell her the big news! JIM Which big news? (And LILA is gone.) TED “Which big news”?! Jim, have you not been listening? JIM ‘Yes, that’s all I’ve been doing! But I have bigger news. Lila and I are getting married! DANNY Why would you get married?! You seem so happy. TED Jimmy, that’s great! You finally asked her! JIM And I want you to be my best man. 18 HOLIDAY INN TED Of course! We'll do the bachelor party on the road. JIM We're not going on the road, buddy. Lila and I are finally getting out of show business. TED What?! JIM ‘We are the proud new owners of the Mason Farm in Midville, Connecticut. DANNY Connecticut? Do you know what happens in Connecticut? JIM What? DANNY Nothing! You'll end up wearing plaid and repressing your feelings. TED Jim, how long have we been waiting for this? It could be our shot at the big time. DANNY Are you really going to walk out on your best friend here? JIM T'm not walking out on anyone. I'm walking into my new life. With Lila. TED But were a trio. We work together. That’s why we work. DANNY Yeah. You can't just take one wheel off a tricycle. You'll end up with a—never mind. JIM Listen Ted, you'll always be my best friend, but this is where the road divides for us. We can’t come with you. I'm sorry. HOLIDAY INN. "19 LILA (Entering,) Mother's thrilled and so am I! JIM & TED Great, so you're ready to go? ULA Jim, darling. Opportunities like this only come along once in a lifetime. JIM As opposed to marriage proposals? LILA Exactly! Come on, it’s only six weeks. JIM But we have to be in Midville tomorrow, Listen, Lila, I got this place for a steal. The bank needs us to sign papers and take ownership or it goes back to auction. I don’t want to lose this place. DANNY Okay, so...how ’bout if you go claim the farm and let Teddy take Lila to Chicago? TED But then it’s just the two of us— (Realizes to himself.) —that's perfect. All the focus will be on me! LILA Hey! TED Onus! LILA It makes sense, Jim. I'll do this last gig and then join you at the end of the summer with a few extra paychecks to feather the nest. (Beat.) 20 HOLIDAY INN JIM Six weeks. (LILA kisses JIM.) DANNY Beautiful, That's settled. Come on, we gotta get going, I still have to buy your train tickets. TED See you soon, Jim, I'll miss you buddy! JIM You too, friend. LILA Bye doll-face! JIM Bye doll-face! DANNY Bye doll-face! (LILA and TED rush off. DANNY follows.) JIM Safe travels! [MUSIC 3A: “LITTLE THINGS TAG"] (And they're gone. JIM holds up the deed to the farm, bolstering himself.) JIM WE COULD BE SO HAPPY... (The DANCERS poke their heads in on their way out.) STANLEY Hey Jim, you and Lila coming to McHale's? aa HOLIDAY INN 21 JIM T'll be there, but Lila’s going out on the road with Ted. DAPHNE I don’t get it. JIM Danny booked a six-week tour and it was too good to turn down, STANLEY But not too good for you to turn down? JIM Guys, you're not gonna wanna hear this, but I'm through with performing. (They all GASP.) [MUSIC 4: “BLUE SKIES"] JIM 1 REALLY THINK THAT BROADWAY IS JUST A FALSE ALARM DANCERS What? / Stop talking crazy, Jim?! (ete.) JIM Tknow, (Sings.) IT’S JUST A GREAT BIG FRAUD-WAY COMPARED TO A FARM ALOT OF FOLKS MAY LIKE IT BUT I COULD NOT AGREE, IT MAY BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM BUT NOT FOR ME... DAPHNE (Sweetly incredulous.) What could be better than Broadway? JIM. BLUE SKIES SMILING AT ME 22 HOLIDAY INN JIM NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES DOISEE (Then.) How would you all like to make a contribution to the Fresh Air Fund? All you have to do is help me move to Midville, Connecticut. (Sings.) BLUE DAYS ALL OF THEM GONE NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES JIM & MEN NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES WOMEN NOTHING BUT ALL BLUE SKIES JIM FROM NOW ON ws HOLIDAYINN 23 Scene Three Mason Farmhouse (Outside) - Midville, Connecticut (They arrive at the farmhouse where an assembly line of boxes, suitcases, and furniture is catapulted across the stage from a flatbed truck.) DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE) NEVER SAW THE SUN SHINING SO BRIGHT NEVER SAW THINGS GOING SO RIGHT NOTICING THE DAYS HURRYING BY WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE MY HOW THEY FLY (Dance break.) Mason Farmhouse (Inside) (The DANCERS help JIM unpack into his new Connecticut home as the set flies in around them.) JIM Anything marked show business goes into storage in the barn. (Sings.) 1 SHOULD CARE IF THE WIND BLOWS EAST OR WEST (To STANLEY.) That goes in the bedroom. (Sings.) I SHOULD FRET IF THE WORST LOOKS LIKE THE BEST STANLEY Which one? You've got fifteen! JIM Pick one! (Sings.) 1SHOULD MIND IF THEY SAY IT CAN’T BE TRUE (DAPHNE finds / holds up a skunk) Whoa, outside! 24 HOLIDAY INN JIM I SHOULD SMILE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'LL DO (Into phone.) Operator. Get me the Franklin Hotel in Omaha. Miss Lila Dixon. Oh, she’s not? Then take down this message. It should read as follows: JIM. DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE) BLUE SKIES BLUE... BLUE SKIES SMILING AT ME NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES SMILING AT ME AHHHHHH... NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES DOISEE NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES DO I SEE ALL BLUE DAYS, ALL OF THEM GONE NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES FROM NOW ON! [MUSIC 4A: “BLUE SKIES PLAYOFF"] JIM ‘Thank you guys, see you soon. Expect fresh produce at your door. DANCERS NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES FROM NOW ON! (The DANCERS exit, the last one slamming the door behind them. The doorbell rings.) JIM What's the matter? Did you miss me already? (He opens the door. It’s not the dancers. It’s CHARLIE WINSLOW, ‘en going on forty, armed with a messenger bag from Midville Bank € Trust.) CHARLIE Special delivery for Mr. Hardy. JIM And who are you? HOLIDAY INN 25 CHARLIE Charlie Winslow, Midville Bank and Trust. JIM Really? Are you in finance or lending? CHARLIE Collections. (CHARLIE hands over a manila envelope that weighs 5lbs.) Your back taxes. JIM Oh, nobody said anything about— (THUMP. CHARLIE hands over another heavy manila envelope.) CHARLIE Water bill, electric bill, gas bill, and your first mortgage payment. Welcome to the neighborhood. JIM You got any good news, Mr. Winslow? CHARLIE I work for a bank. What do you think? JIM Tthink... (And he’s gone. The slam of the door causes the house to instantly come apart. Curtains (fall, shelves drop, pipes come loose, the railing pops off the stairs. JIM is stunned.) Apparently I work for a bank now too. (The doorbell rings again.) Who now, the LR.S? (It’s LINDA MASON, a smart, spirited schoolteacher.) Oops. Oh. Hi. (LINDA tries to keep it all business.) 26 HOLIDAY INN LINDA ‘Mr. Hardy? JIM Do we know each other? LINDA I know who you are. JIM Oh, you've seen my act? LINDA Ive seen the foreclosure papers. I'm Linda Mason. JIM As in... Mason Farm? LINDA Yes. I was wondering if I could pick up a few things I left behind. JIM Oh. Of course. Please come in. (LINDA enters.) LINDA before I finished moving out, and— ing room.) ‘Thanks. The bank padlocked the hou (She looks at the dismantled li Llove what you've done with the place. JIM Yeah, I have my work cut out for me. LINDA That looks just like our old piano. JIM Oh, do you play? HOLIDAY INN "27 (She starts toward a painting of her grandmother.) LINDA Not for years... Would you mind giving me a hand with this painting? JIM Of course! It’s funny, I figured Eleanor Roosevelt came with the house. LINDA ‘That was my grandmother. JIM (immediately.) She was so beautiful. LINDA She and my grandfather built this place right after they were married, JIM And I can tell they put a lot of love into it. LINDA ‘They certainly did... JIM T'm sorry. This must be very emotional for you. LINDA (Stiff upper lip.) It'd be pretty silly to get emotional over a piece of real estate, Mr. Hardy. JIM Oh, I don't know. I got pretty emotional moving in just now. LINDA Yes, I heard you singing about it. JIM Ttend to do that. Listen, are you sure you're okay with all this? 28 HOLIDAY INN LINDA Absolutely. Time marches on, and so do I. JIM Tlike that. [MUSIC 5: “MARCHING ALONG WITH TIME"] LINDA (Sings.) THIS WORLD OF OURS IS EVER-CHANGING ‘THE HANDS OF TIME KEEP REARRANGING WITH EVERY CHANGE I'M RIGHT ON THE BEAT WON'T LET THE GRASS GROW UNDER MY FEET 1’M MARCHING ALONG WITH TIME LL BE MARCHING FROM TIME TO TIME FOR I'M NOT GONNA LET THE PARADE GO BY YOU KNOW THAT TIME MARCHES ON AND SO DOL (LINDA removes various items from the walls and shelves.) ONE DAY I CHANGED MY HORSE FOR A MOTOR AND NOW OF COURSE TLL BE CHANGING MY CAR FOR A PLANE TO FLY YOU KNOW THAT TIME MARCHES ON, AND SO DOI THERE'LL BE A CHANGE IN MUSIC. A CHANGE IN RHYTHM JIM A CHANGE IN DANCING LINDA BUT I'LL BE RIGHT WITH 'EM WATCH ME AND YOU WILL FIND THAT I JUST WON'T BE LEFT BEHIND FATHER TIME MARCHES ON WITH HIS HEAD UP HIGH AND SO DOI. JIM & LINDA ‘THERE'LL BE A CHANGE IN MUSIC. (THERE'LL BE A CHANGE IN MUSIC) ACHANGE IN RHYTHM HOLIDAY INN. 29. (A CHANGE IN RHYTHM) A CHANGE IN DANCING (A CHANGE IN DANCING) LINDA BUT LL BE RIGHT WITH "EM JIM YOU'LL BE RIGHT WITH EM. (LINDA and JIM alternate playing the piano, finding some synchronicity.) JIM & LINDA MARCHING ALONG WITH TIME I'LL BE MARCHING FROM TIME TO TIME, FOR I'M NOT GONNA LET THE PARADE GO BY YOU KNOW THAT TIME MARCHES ON AND SO DOI! JIM Wow. Forward-thinking. Independent. You sound like a real New Yorker. LINDA I was a New Yorker. Briefly. JIM Really? What happened? LINDA tried to make it there as a performer when I was young, but... well, you know how that story goes. JIM Not until you tell it to me. LINDA Oh, it’s nothing—my father woke up one day to find that my mother had left. She ran off with the Fuller Brush salesman. JIM Isee. 30 HOLIDAY INN Teft New York to come back and take ea passed away I just... couldn't keep up. ». After he ever sin (Music resumes.) JIM I'm sorry. Did you ever think about giving performing another shot? LINDA No, that was another time, Mr. Hardy. I teach school now. I have a simple life but... I'm happy. JIM Funny. That's exactly what I'm after. LINDA Well I should get going back to my... efficiency apartment. (She grabs all her things.) JIM Let me give you a hand with all that. LINDA Tm all right Mr. Hardy. You have your hands full with the house already. I almost forgot, if you ever need any help around here, I know the perfect person. JIM ‘That would be great, send them right over. (DING-DONG.) ‘That was fast. (IM opens the door to,find LOUISE. She enters carrying a tool bag and a suitcase.) LOUISE Louise Badger, fix it man. JIM Jim Hardy, how did you— HOLIDAY INN “34 LOUISE was standing outside waiting for my cue, It’s good to be home. JIM Home? LOUISE lived on this property twenty-plus years. LINDA Louise was our caretaker and part of the family. LOUISE Whoa. Gone one month and the place falls apart. You're going to need me around the clock. ll go unpack. JIM Oh, I can't hire someone full time until we have a crop to sell. LOUISE Not a problem. Happy to take my salary in room and board. But no funny business. LINDA ‘Well, I'll let you two get to work. JIM You know, if its all right with you, I’ like to keep the name “Mason Farm.’ It has a certain ring to it, LINDA ‘That's very kind of you, Mr. Hardy. Thank you. JM Please, call me Jim. LINDA Goodbye Louise. LOUISE T'll swing by to check on you later. 32 HOLIDAY INN LINDA Don't worry about me Lou, just take care of the house and Mr. ... Jim. JIM So long. (LINDA goes. JIM watches her go for a beat.) LOUISE Pretty cute, huh? JIM (Busted.) Yes. I mean no. I mean she is. I mean... [have a fiancée. LOUISE A fiancée? Where the heck is she? HOLIDAY INN 33 Scene Four Nightclubs, The Midwest / The Farmhouse [MUSIC 6: “HEAT WAVE”] (The stage at a nightclub in Omaha. Fanfare.) ANNOUNCER (RECORDED W/O) Ladies and gentleman, (Fanfare.) the Turf Lounge of Omaha is proud to present (Fanfare.) the red hot duo, Lila Dixon and ‘Ted Hanover! (TED appears with the FULL ENSEMBLE.) TED AHEAT WAVE BLEW RIGHT INTO TOWN LAST WEEK SHE CAME FROM THE ISLAND OF MARTINIQUE THE CAN-CAN SHE DANCES WILL MAKE YOU FRY ‘THE CAN-CAN IS REALLY THE REASON WHY (LILA enters, « sexy siren pin up girl, making the men swoon.) LILA WERE HAVING A HEAT WAVE A TROPICAL HEAT WAVE ‘THE TEMPERATURE'S RISING ITISN’T SURPRISING SHE CERTAINLY CAN CAN-CAN The Farmhouse GIM holds up a large sheet of graph paper.) JIM So according to my plan we should see a fresh crop by October: 34 HOLIDAY INN LOUISE ‘That's a little ambitious. What are you planning to grow? JIM T thought Td start with my favorite: bananas. LOUISE We're gonna need a new plan. The Turf Lounge - Stage (TED and LILA are joined by more dancers... things are getting bigger.) TED & FEMALE DANCERS SHE STARTED THE HEAT WAVE (OH, SHE STARTED THE HEAT WAVE) BY LETTING HER SEAT WAVE (JUST BY LETTING HER SEAT WAVE) TED AND IN SUCH A WAY ‘THAT THE CUSTOMERS SAY THAT TED & FEMALE DANCERS SHE CERTAINLY CAN CAN-CAN (Dance break.) FEMALE DANCERS SHE CERTAINLY CAN CAN-CAN The Farmhouse (Outside) GIM and LOUISE in the fields.) JM can't believe how long it takes to grow one simple parsnip. LOUISE ‘Told ya it wouldn't be easy. The soil out here can be very unfriendly. HOLIDAY INN "35 JIM Farming is a lot harder than it looks. LOUISE T'll say. Mr. Mason tried for fifty-five years. JIM “five years?! Then what? LOUISE He died. The Starlight Room - Stage (The Starlight Room in St. Louis. Lights brighter, costumes bolder, even more dancers.) MALE DANCERS. GEE! ANNOUNCER Ladies and gentlemen! MALE DANCERS HER ANATOMY ANNOUNCER The Starlight Room in St. Louis... MALE DANCERS, MADE THE MERCURY ANNOUNCER Brings you Ted Hanover... MALE DANCERS: JUMP TO NINETY-THREE ANNOUNCER And the red-hot Lila Dixon! 36 HOLIDAY INN LILA WE'RE HAVING A HEAT WAVE TROPICAL HEAT WAVE TED & MALE DANCERS THE WAY THAT SHE MOVES THAT THERMOMETER PROVES THAT SHE CERTAINLY CAN CAN-CAN The Pump Room - Stag (The Pump Room in Chicago. The ultimate venue. The performance is a total show- stopper... biggest and best yet.) ANNOUNCER Welcome to The Pump Room! Bringing you the red-hot act that’s taking the Windy City by storm! MALE DANCERS SO HOT, ARECORD'S BEEN MADE FEMALE DANCERS WE'LL FRY IN THE SHADE ANNOUNCER Live on the Lake Shore. It's Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon. LILA & TED YES, WE'RE HAVING A HEAT WAVE ATROPICAL HEAT WAVE ‘THE WAY THAT SHE MOVES THAT ‘THERMOMETER PROVES THAT SHE CERTAINLY CAN CAN LILA & TED MALE DANCERS WERE HAVING A HEAT WAVE HOT! HOT! HOT! SO HOT! A TROPICAL HEAT WAVE ARECORD’S BEEN MADE, DANCERS WE'LL FRY IN THE SHADE AND IN SUCH A WAY THAT ‘THE CUSTOMERS SAY THAT ‘THE TEMPERATURES RISING ITISN’T SURPRISING HOLIDAY INN ‘37, ALL SHE CERTAINLY CERTAINLY CERTAINLY CERTAINLY CERTAINLY CAN CAN-CAN! [MUSIC 6A: “HEAT WAVE PLAYOFF"] 38 HOLIDAY INN Scene Five Behind the Barn, The Farm (IM and LOUISE survey the farm land.) JIM Any signs of life? LOUISE Not over here. JIM T'm beginning to realize why this place was such a bargain. LOUISE A bargain? Rumor around town is you paid twice what it was worth. JIM LOUISE ‘Typical New Yorker. GIM uproots a flaccid misshapen vegetable.) JIM Hang on a second. This is a perfectly respectable summer squash. LOUISE Except it’s a tomato. Look, you can call it whatever you want, as long as it impresses that fiancée of yours. (CHARLIE rides wp on his scooter.) CHARLIE Special delivery for Mr. Hardy! GIM quickly stands behind LOUISE to hide.) HOLIDAY INN ‘39° LOUISE (Covers.) Nope. Mr. Hardy’s not here. I guess you'll have to come back. CHARLIE He's right behind you. LOUISE ‘That's just my winter weight. CHARLIE (Playing along.) ‘Ah. Then you'll have to be the one to give Mr. Hardy this past due notice on the mortgage. We do offer a thirty-day grace period before penalties begin to accrue. LOUISE How kind. CHARLIE Unfortunately it’s been forty days. But we don't like to see folks hurting. So I'll keep coming back to check in. You take good care now. (CHARLIE scooters off.) LOUISE ‘That kid is definitely going to be in government one day. LILA (OS) Jim? Jim?! GQIM turns to see LILA coming up the road. She's dressed to the nines, fur hat, designer shoes.) JIM Lila? LILA (Swatting the bugs away.) Ew, Ew. Ew. (Then, to JIM.) Surprise! 40 HOLIDAY INN (They kiss.) JIM You're two days early! LILA ‘And overdressed. JIM ‘You look like a movie star. LILA And you look like a farmer! JIM ‘That's ‘cause I am, At least I'm trying to be. With some help from Louise here. She’s— LOUISE At your service! (She stands next to him with the pitchfork.) LILA You two are adorable. Like in that painting with the unhappy old people. LOUISE Tl go get your bags! LILA Oh, you really don't have to— LOUISE Thave to do everything. (LOUISE ewvits.) JIM It’s so good to see you. Did you read the Farmer's Almanac I sent you? HOLIDAYINN 41 LILA Every word. On the first page JIM ‘That's all right, you've been busy. But I'm gonna teach you everything you need to know. Starting right now. (He hands her a hoe.) LILA Now? IMUSIC 7: “IT’S A LOVELY DAY TODAY”] LILA But it’s about to rain. JIM Oh that's just a few passing clouds. LILA Tell that to my hair, JIM You have to look for the blue sky in between those clouds. (Sings.) IT'S A LOVELY DAY TODAY SO WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT TO DO YOU'VE GOT A LOVELY DAY TO DO IT IN LILA ‘THAT'S TRUE (As they sing, they farm / dance with the hoes.) JIM AND I HOPE WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT TO DO. IS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DONE BY TWO. LILA ‘THOUGH I'D REALLY LIKE TO STAY... (Then.) 42 HOLIDAY INN LILA Jim, I want to tell you— JIM IT’S A LOVELY DAY TODAY LILA That's adorable! JIM SO WHATEVER WE'VE GOT TO DO I'D BESO HAPPY TO BE DOING IT WITH YOU LILA BUT IF 'VE GOT SOMETHING THAT MUST BE DONE AND IT CAN ONLY BE DONE BY ONE, THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO SAY JIM EXCEPT IT’S A LOVELY DAY FOR SAYING JIM & LILA IT'S A LOVELY DAY (IM sneaks up behind LILA with the wheelbarrow loaded with burlap sacks. LILA falls into the wheelbarrow, but still manages to look fabulous.) JIM Your chariot awaits. LILA Td prefer a Buick, but okay— JIM IT'S A LOVELY DAY TODAY IF YOU’VE SOMETHING THAT MUST BE DONE DON'T FORGET TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN JUST ONE! LILA BUT PERHAPS WHATEVER I'VE GOT TO DO IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE DONE BY YOU HOLIDAY INN 43 JIM DONE BY TWO IF IT IS THEN YOU COULD— LILA Jim. (The music stops.) I'm sorry. I can’t do this. (The music resumes.) T've been trying to tell you since I got here, but you seem so... happy: JIM Tam. You should try it. It’s a pleasant sensation. LILA (Deadly honest and intimate.) So is performing. And I can't just walk away like you did. I know myself. I can live with a lot of things, but I can't live out here with all these vegetables. Anyway, Ted and I just got booked into a swanky new room in Las Vegas. Can you believe it? Las Vegas. It's a dream come true. JIM But this was our dream. LILA Your dream, Jim. Not mine. JIM You came all the way here to tell me this? LILA T wanted to tell you in person. JIM That was nice of you. LILA Tknow. (She gives him back the ring, hugs him.) I'm sorry, Jim. 44 HOLIDAY INN JIM. Can I at least drive you to the train? LILA The cab’s waiting for me around the corner. (Music out.) Good luck, Jim. I mean that. (The music resumes: LILA grabs her handbag and goes. LOUISE returns.) LOUISE She didn’t have any bags. JIM Iknow. (LOUISE gently approaches JIM, trying to comfort him.) LOUISE IT'S A LOVELY DAY TODAY AND WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT TO DO I'D BE SO HAPPY TO BE DOING IT WITH YOU (A huge thunder clap and lightning bolt. Rain pours down. LOUISE pulls out a rain hat she has at the ready and puts it on IM.) JIM & LOUISE IT'S ALOVELY DAY HOLIDAY INN “45, Scene Six KENO Radio Studios, Las Vegas IMUSIC 8: “PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR" (A line of FEMALE DANCERS enters, dressed as sexy turkeys.) FEMALE CHORUS GOBBLE! GOBBLE! MALE CHORUS: (Entering dressed as dancing pilgrims.) GOBBLE! GOBBLE! ALL PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL (THAT'S RIGHT!) THERE'S PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL (TONIGHT!) THERE'S PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR ANNOUNCER Live from Las Vegas, this is the K-E-N-O Thanksgiving Musical Cavalcade, with Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon, brought to you by Optrix Eye Lotion and Benzel Sinus Spray. Relief you'll be thankful for! (TED and LILA enter, decked out like stars.) TED I'VE GOT PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR I HAVEN'T GOT AGREAT BIG YACHT ‘TO SAIL FROM SHORE TO SHORE STILL I'VE GOT PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR I'VE GOT PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR FEMALE CHORUS YES, SIR, HE’S GOT A LOT! TED, LILA & FEMALE CHORUS. NO PRIVATE CAR (NO!) NO CAVIAR (NO!) NO CARPET ON MY FLOOR (OH NO!) 46 HOLIDAY INN FEMALE CHORUS BUT HE HAS GOT. TED, LILA & FEMALE CHORUS PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR TED ... Like you, girls! Have I mentioned I'm grateful for ya? FEMALE CHORUS Gee, Teddy, thanks! TED I'VE GOT EYES TO SEE WITH LILA FEMALE DANCERS ‘Thanks to Optrix, the eye lotion made with ooH science. OOH! TED EARS TO HEAR WITH LILA FEMALE DANCERS Thanks to Benzel, the nasal spray made with OOH amphetamines! wow! TED LIPS TO KISS WITH LILA SOMEONE TO ADORE TED HOW COULD ANYBODY ASK FOR MORE? FEMALE CHORUS HOW COULD HE? WHY WOULD HE? HOLIDAY INN 47 TED MY NEEDS ARE SMALL 1 BUY THEM ALL. AT THE FIVE-AND-TEN CENT STORE, FEMALE CHORUS NEAR YOU! TED T'VEGOT LILA HE'S GOT ALL WE'VE GOT PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR! PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR! IMUSIC 8A: “PLENTY PLAYOFF"] ANNOUNCER ‘Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon ladies and gentlemen! Stick around if you know what's good for you. We'll be speaking with them later on in the program. 48 HOLIDAY INN Scene Seven Linda's Apartment - Thanksgiving 1946 (In her small studio apartment, LINDA is on the phone while setting a Thanksgiving dinner for one [a cheese sandwich].) LINDA (Into phone.) Don't worry about me Lou, I'm having a big Thanksgiving. Of course, I've got guests over. The neighbors... You don't know them. Listen, I have to grab the turkey before it dries ou gobble gobble to you too. Bye, Louise. (She hangs up.A buzzat the door. LINDA is frozen. Who could that be? This is Thanksgiving for one.) Hello. CHARLIE (Behind the door.) Hi, Miss Mason, it’s Charlie Winslow! (She opens it to find CHARLIE, the messenger kid.) LINDA Charlie! Come on in, To what do I owe the pleasure? CHARLIE Happy Thanksgiving. (CHARLIE hands over an apple pie.) LINDA. ‘An apple pie! How sweet of you to think of me. CHARLIE I'm just the messenger. It's from my parents. They feel sorry for you. LINDA. Sorry for me? HOLIDAY INN “49 CHARLIE You know, because you're all alone. On Thanksgiving. No family. No children. No prospects. LINDA Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson. We just read it. Remember how he starts? CHARLIE “Man is his own star.” LINDA Exactly. I like being independent and level-headed. CHARLIE My mom calls that a spinster. [MUSIC 8B: “PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR (REPRISE)”] LINDA Charlie, I am perfectly fine. I've got plenty to be thankful for. MY TINY FLAT WAS FURNISHED AT THE FIVE-AND-TEN-CENT STORE STILLT'VE GOT PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR CHARLIE Like what? LINDA I'VE GOT EYES TO SEE WITH... CHARLIE Oh, like the song on the radio. (Sings.) EARS TO HEAR WITH LINDA You were listening. 50 HOLIDAY INN CHARLIE ARMS TO HUG WITH LIPS TO KISS WITH (Then.) I guess it is okay to be all alone, then. You get to eat the whole pie by yourself. LINDA Yep. CHARLIE No one to share it with. LINDA Yep. CHARLIE No one to tell you when you've had enough. LINDA Yep. CHARLIE Or save you when you're choking. LINDA Okay. Lesson’s over. CHARLIE Swell. Enjoy the pie, Miss Mason! LINDA Goodbye, Charlie, IMUSIC 8C: “MARCHING ALONG WITH TIME (REPRISE)"] (CHARLIE runs. LINDA closes the door. Sits down at her table.) LINDA ‘THERE'LL BE A CHANGE IN MUSIC ACHANGE IN RHYTHM ACHANGE IN DANCING BUT TLL BE RIGHT WITH EM. HOLIDAY INN. “57 (LINDA looks at the apple pie. She gets an idea. ) [MUSIC 8D: “RADIO TRANSITION") 52 HOLIDAY INN Scene Eight KENO Radio Studios / The Farmhouse (Inside) (On the soundstage, a RADIO QUARTET brings us back from a commercial break. At the farmhouse, LOUISE sets a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner table. JIM is at the piano, listening to the end of the radio broadcast.) RADIO QUARTET DAH DAH DAT DAH DAH DAT DAH DAH DA DA DA DAH DAH DAH DOW, AT THE K-E-N-O RADIO CAVALCADE, ‘THERE'S PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR! RADIO HOST Before we conclude our program for the evening, let’s take a moment to meet our stars, Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon! Ted, are you looking to be a Romeo on the Vegas Strip, or is there a special girl in your life? TED Every girl in my life is special. LILA But he only has one dance partner! RADIO HOST Lila, is there a lucky fella out there waiting for you this holiday season? LILA No, sir! I'm fancy-free and free for anything fancy. DANNY So get up close and personal at The Flamingo. We're almost sold out! RADIO HOST You heard it here first folks: Lila Dixon is single and looking. Bachelors beware! She’s a heart- breaker! Next up on the K-E-N-O Radio Cavalcade, Susan the Yiddish-speaking spaniel... (Theradio broadcast continues but LOUISE snaps off the radio. The soundstage disappears.) LOUISE Why are you torturing yourself? HOLIDAY INN “53 JIM I believed her. LOUISE She's an actress. It's her job to fake it. JIM can't believe I let her string me along. Look at me. Failing at farming. All by myself in this big house. LOUISE Well, that’s not technically true. But I'm willing to overlook it, given your current state of mind. Come on, let me fix you a plate. (LOUISE pours JIM a brandy.) JIM You know who I really miss? LOUISE Who? aM ‘Ted. The old Ted. IMUSIC 8E: “JIM & LOUISE UNDERSCORE”] LOUISE The Ted who took your fiancée on the road? JIM ‘The Ted who used to be my best friend. (Beat.) ‘We met at a casting call when we were both just starting out. I was so nervous, I could barely speak, let alone sing. My audition tanked. I went to drown my sorrows at McHale's and there was Ted, yucking it up with a circle of girls from the call. I finally picked myself up to go congratulate him. “On what?" he said, “I didn’t get the gig, either. None of us did! Doesn't mean we won't get the next one!” I couldn't believe it. What was he celebrating? You know what he said? He said, (Music out.) 54 HOLIDAY INN “Every now and then it’ a good idea to pa s ended up having more fun that night than I'd had in a year. Ted just...he has a way of making anyone feel good about anything. I wonder what happened to that guy. LOUISE If it makes you feel any better, you can call me Ted. (The doorbell rings. LOUISE goes to answer it.) LOUISE Hmm, I wonder who that could be. What poor, lost soul is knocking on our door on Thanksgiving Day? (LOUISE answers it to find LINDA at the door, holding the apple pie. She's dressed beanutifully.) LOUISE (Feigning surprise.) Linda, what a surprise! What are you doing here? LINDA ‘You told me I could come over— LOUISE How wonderful that you decided to pop in for a spontaneous unplanned visit! LINDA Hi, Jim, JIM Hi, Linda. LINDA Happy Thanksgiving. I wanted to... bring you this apple pie. JIM ‘Wow, you baked me a pie? LINDA (Beat.) Yes. mn HOLIDAY INN 55 (Beat.) LINDA No. One of my students gave it to me. I'm assuming it's not poisoned. JIM Oh, well all the same, that’s very kind of you. Happy Thanksgiving. LINDA Happy Thanksgiving. (LINDA waits for an invitation to come in, but doesn't get it.) Actually, I should have said that I'm really here because I'm missing my s check the barn? JIM Of course. You know the way. LINDA Yep. So. I'll just grab that spoon and get going. (LOUISE appears out of nowhere.) LOUISE No! I mean. I'll go get it for you. LINDA Louise, you don’t need to— LOUISE Iwas just going out that way anyway to... feed the pig. JIM We have a pig? LOUISE Yes. Boris. He's a rescue. (LOUISE races out in a,flash. JIM and LINDA are alone.) JIM You look lovely. Heading somewhere special tonight? 56 HOLIDAY INN LINDA Just singing with the local choir. JIM I'm glad to hear that. LINDA I guess you reminded me how much I enjoy it. JIM Oh, I can't take any credit. LINDA You can take a little. JIM (Playing.) Well, I don't mind if I do. LINDA (Playing along:) Well, I think you should. JIM Well, okay. LINDA Okay. (LINDA smiles, trying to make a moment here. Then, under her breath.) LINDA I see Louise has made her famous cranberry sauce. I miss that. JIM Listen, I'd really like to invite you to stay for dinner, but it's not the best timing. LINDA Oh. Of course. HOLIDAY INN 57 JIM Lila called off our engagement. LINDA. Yes, I... heard it on the radio. JIM It's probably for the best. LINDA. I'm so sorry. JIM ‘Thank you. But, I just think I'd be pretty terrible company tonight. LINDA Right. Me too. JIM You would? LINDA No. I wouldn't. I don’t know why I said that. (He says nothing. She says nothing.) Ijust mean JIM I just mean I... (A long beat. Neither of them can find any more words.) LINDA. L.... should get going. (LINDA goes JIM What about the serving spoon? [MUSIC 9: “NOTHING MORE TO SAY”) 58 HOLIDAY INN The rmhouse (Outside) (LINDA walks back toward home.) LINDA FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE LEFT WITH NOTHING MORE TO SAY SUDDENLY YOU FIND YOU SHOULD BE ON YOUR WAY FUNNY HOW YOU LONG FOR SOME EXCUSE TO REMAIN AWHILE BUT IT’S NO USE THE CONVERSATION ENDS AND YOU'VE NOTHING MORE TO SAY FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE LEFT WITHOUT A THOUGHT ON YOUR MIND. FUNNY WHEN YOU SEARCH FOR WORDS YOU NEVER CAN FIND GONE ARE THE PRETTY SPEECHES THAT YOU PLANNED FOR YOUR LUCKY DAY FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE LEFT WITH NOTHING MORE TO SAY WHEN YOUR MOMENT COMES TO AN END WHAT GOOD IS PRETENDING GONE ARE THE PRETTY SPEECHES THAT YOU PLANNED FOR YOUR LUCKY DAY FUNNY WHEN THE WORDS NO LONGER COME YOUR WAY FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE LEFT WITH NOTHING MORE TO SAY (LINDA continues toward home.) [MUSIC 9A: “TRANSITION TO CHRISTMAS”] HOLIDAY INN 59 Scene Nine The Farmhouse (Inside) - Christmas Eve 1946 GIM wheels LOUISE around on a ladder as she tries to attach a star to the top of their Christmas tree. It's a farr reach.) JIM Louise, I still don’t understand why we need a Christmas tree. (Music out.) LOUISE Stop arguing, I need to focus. JIM What's the point? It’s just the two of us, It’s not like we have an actual family here. LOUISE Families come in all shapes and sizes. JIM Do we really need the star? LOUISE Of course we do. My father was Jewish. (She reaches into her box of ornaments, pulls out a Star of David. LOUISE reaches with effort to place the star at the top of the tree.) JIM ‘This tree is going to look pretty sad with only two presents under it... LOUISE Come on, give me a boost. JIM And if I don’t come up with some sort of miracle plan in the next two weeks the place is going back into foreclosure... (LOUISE sticks the star on a random spot on the tree. Fail.) 60 HOLIDAY INN LOUISE Close enough. JIM Too bad there's nobody here to enjoy it. IMUSIC 9B: “A CAPPELLA VOICES”] DANCERS (O.S.) (FULL ENSEMBLE) HAPPY HOLIDAY... (Voices, from offstage. Were they in JIM's imagination?) JIM What was that? LOUISE What was what? DANCERS (O.S.) (FULL ENSEMBLE) HAPPY HOLIDAY... JIM That! DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE) WHILE THE MERRY BELLS KEEP RINGING MAY YOUR EVERY WISH COME TRUE! (The DANCERS, just set free from smoggy Manhattan into the erisp country air, rush in...) JIM What are you guys doing here?! STANLEY We're here for you! LOUISE I figured you were in need of a little musical medication. HOLIDAY INN "61 DAPHNE So we're here to fill the prescription. IMUSIC 10: “SHAKING THE BLUES AWAY] LOUISE THERE'S AN OLD SUPERSTITION WAY DOWN SOUTH EVERYBODY BELIEVES THAT TROUBLE WON'T STAY IF YOU SHAKE IT AWAY WHEN THEY HOLD A REVIVAL WAY DOWN SOUTH EVERYBODY WITH CARE AND TROUBLE THAT DAY TRIES TO SHAKE IT AWAY (During the following production tap number, the DANCERS and LOUISE decorate the tree and the house, getting IM pepped up. It’s as if they're putting on a show for him, and he joins in.) LOUISE (Contid.) SHAKING THE BLUES AWAY UNHAPPY NEWS AWAY IF YOU ARE BLUE, IT'S EASY TO SHAKE OFF YOUR CARES AND TROUBLES, ‘TELLING THE BLUES TO GO THEY MAY REFUSE TO GO BUT AS A RULE, THEY'LL GO IF YOU'LL SHAKE "EM AWAY DO LIKE THE VOODOOS DO ISTNING TO A VOODOO MELODY ‘THEY SHAKE THEIR BODIES SO, TO AND FRO WITH EVERY SHAKE, ALUCKY BREAK PROVING THAT THERE'S A WAY TO CHASE YOUR CARES AWAY IF YOU WOULD LOSE YOUR WEARY BLUES SHAKE "EM AWAY SHAKE "EM AWAY! (Dance break.) SAWYER She's shakin’! She's shakin’ too! 62 HOLIDAY INN (Unbeknownst to all, LINDA enters, with a fruitcake. She watches the stupendous performance filling up her old house.) JIM Merry Christmas! LOUISE, JIM & DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE) DO LIKE THE VOODOOS DO LIST'NING TO MELODY LOUISE & JIM THEY SHAKE THEIR BODIES SO LOUISE, JIM & DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE) TO AND FRO LOUISE & JIM WITH EVERY SHAKE, A LUCKY BREAK LOUISE, JIM & DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE) OOOHHH... LOUISE JIM & DANCERS WAH PROVING THAT THERE'S A WAY WAH WAH WAH TO CHASE YOUR CARES AWAY, CHASE YOUR CARES AND IF YOU WOULD LOSE IF YOU WOULD LOSE YOUR WEARY BLUES YOUR WEARY BLUES SHAKE’EM AWAY SHAKE ’EM AWAY ALL SHAKE’EM AWAY (The house is now fully decked-out in glittering Christmas cheer. They all applaud each other, hugging, wiping the sweat from their brows.) JIM You know what, Louise? You're right! Life is way too short to sit around moping. I never want to spend another holiday by myself. LINDA Yeah, neither do I! HOLIDAY INN. “63 (All turn to see LINDA standing in the doorway iy. Embarrassed at her outburst, she awkwardly turns toward the door, “Who said that?") JIM Linda! Merry Christmas. These are my friends. Friends, Linda. Linda, friends. DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE) Hi, Linda. JIM Linda grew up in this house. And I guess she still has a key. LINDA It was open. I'm here for the party. JIM How did you know we were having a party? LOUISE Well, I certainly didn’t invite her! It definitely wasn't me if that’s what you're thinking! LINDA You know, I used to put on shows just like that when I was a little girl, right here in this very room. JIM Linda is a performer too! LINDA No, no, no, no, but I did force my whole family to watch and I charged admission. (To LOUISE.) What was it Louise, five cents a head? LOUISE Heaven knows we could use those funds. STANLEY Hey, if you charged half what they charged for tickets in Flatbush, you'd be in clover. 64 HOLIDAY INN JIM (An idea sparks.) ‘Wait a minute... that’s it! LOUISE Of course it is. JIM Show business could be the solution! DAPHNE (Sweetly naive.) Isn't that usually the problem? JIM Maybe not this time. (To LOUISE.) Are you thinking what I'm thinking? (LOUISE and JIM brainstorm with mounting excitement.) LOUISE ‘You're a much better singer than you are a farmer... JIM You can build a stage... LOUISE You knowall these dancers... JIM ‘The best hoofers in New York... LOUISE And together we could put on a show. DAPHNE You can charge for tickets! LOUISE Yes we already covered that, Daphne. "x HOLIDAY INN 65 JIM But not just tickets. Rooms. LOUISE With all these bedrooms we could have a big— LOUISE & JIM —showplace hotel! STANLEY Hove it! But Jim, we can't just move out here. ‘STELLA We're only free on the holidays. JIM fe work on the day Okay. Then we'll only be open on the holidays vhen other people don't! LOUISE You'll write special songs for each one! JIM What do yon say, gang? ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE) (Wariously.) Count me in! / Finally, a country house! / A home for the holidays. BYRON Hey Jim, mind if we make ourselves at home? LOUISE We've got fifteen rooms! JIM (Suddenly remembering.) The heat’s still not working! 66 HOLIDAY INN LOUISE (Punting.) So grab extra blankets from the hall closet and everybody. sleep together. (The DANCERS are silent for a moment, considering the idea. Then all at once...) ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE) (Shrugging, happy for the opportunity.) Okay! / Why not? / I can live with that. (LOUISE leads them upstairs toward the bedrooms. As they exit, INDA and JIM are left alone.) LINDA You're serious about this. JIM Absolutely. LINDA I thought you wanted out of show business. JIM I did. I do. But this is different. No New York. No rat race. And maybe it does take a little bit of performing to live a normal life. LINDA ‘That's certainly true. JIM Ihave no idea if it'll work but if 1 don’t do something the bank is gonna take this place back. LINDA (Wrapped up in the excitement.) It’s a shame we're not open tonight. JIM We? HOLIDAY INN “67 LINDA (Catching herself.) Oh - I just mean that Christmas Eve would be a big draw. JIM It certainly would. And who says we can’t have our first rehearsal right now? (JIM pulls some sheet music from the piano bench.) LINDA ‘What's that? JIM Oh, an old Christmas song I wrote a few years ago and stuck in a drawer. IMUSIC 11: “WHITE CHRISTMAS" GIM plunks out the first phrase of the song on the piano. Thinking twice, he starts to put it back.) JIM It needs work. LINDA I would love to hear it. Please. JIM I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS JUST LIKE THE ONES I USED TO KNOW WHERE THE TREE TOPS GLISTEN AND CHILDREN LISTEN... TO HEAR SLEIGH BELLS IN THE SNOW I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS WITH EVERY CHRISTMAS CARD I WRITE, MAY YOUR DAYS BE MERRY AND BRIGHT AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMASES BE WHITE, (LINDA joins him, picking up on the words...) JIM & LINDA I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS JUST LIKE THE ONES I USED TO KNOW 68 HOLIDAY INN JIM (Teaching the lyrics.) Where the tree tops glisten... LINDA WHERE THE TREE TOPS GLISTEN JIM And children listen... LINDA AND CHILDREN LISTEN... JIM & LINDA TO HEAR SLEIGH BELLS IN THE SNOW LINDA I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS WITH EVERY CHRISTMAS CARD I WRITE, JIM & LINDA MAY YOUR DAYS BE MERRY AND BRIGHT. AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMASES BE WHITE JIM See? You're a natural. LINDA I guess you can say I was feeling... inspired. Gust as they are about to kiss, LOUISE bursts in on her way to the kitchen. When she sees JIM and LINDA she doesn’t know what to do so she just keeps talking and walking.) LOUISE Oh! Hi, Don't mind me, some of the kids were feeling a bit peckish what with the train ride from Grand Central and all the singing and dancing and decorating and garland-jumping, so I thought T just duck into the pantry to grab that fruitcake you brought, Linda. Because ya know what they say, a hungry dancer is a cranky dancer, and we've gotta keep— (Throughout, LOUISE never stops talking or moving, goes into the kitchen, comes right back out with the fruitcake.) —our employees happy and satisfied. And like Louise always says, feed ’em and they'll love ya! Anyway, I can see you two are busy, busy bees, so don’t let me interrupt you, I'm just gonna go upstairs and eat this entire fruitcake by myself in shame. night! HOLIDAY INN 69 (LOUISE exits with the fruitcake.) LINDA Well. It’s getting late. Thank you for the song. And the company. JIM Ifyou really want to thank me, you'll join me on stage for our first show. LINDA Oh no, I haven't performed in years. JIM What could be more perfect than Linda Mason performing at the house she grew up in? LINDA T'm not ready for anything like— JIM I'll give you five cents. LINDA ‘That's very generous of you. JM So? LINDA So... when's our first show? JIM I say we start with New Year's Eve. LINDA But that’s only a week away! JIM Piece of cake... for a natural. 70 HOLIDAY INN Scene Ten Holiday Inn (Stage) - New Year's Eve 1946 (The brand new stage for the inaugural show at Holiday Inn.) [MUSIC 12: “HOLIDAY INN / HAPPY HOLIDAY"] ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE) IF YOU'RE BURDENED DOWN WITH TROUBLE IF YOUR NERVES ARE WEARING THIN PACK YOUR LOAD DOWN THE ROAD AND COME TO HOLIDAY INN WOMEN (WOMEN ENSEMBLE) IF THE TRAFFIC NOISE AFFECTS YOU LIKE A SQUEAKY VIOLIN KICK YOUR CARES DOWN THE STAIRS ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE) AND COME TO HOLIDAY INN! IF YOU CAN'T FIND SOMEONE WHO WOULD SET YOUR HEART A-WHIRL TAKE YOUR CAR AND MOTOR TO THE HOME OF BOY MEETS GIRL MEN (MEN ENSEMBLE) IF YOU'RE LAID-UP WITH A BREAKDOWN WOMEN (WOMEN ENSEMBLE) THROW AWAY YOUR VITAMIN MEN (MEN ENSEMBLE) DON'T GET WORSE WOMEN (WOMEN ENSEMBLE) GRAB YOUR NURSE, ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE) AND COME TO HOLIDAY INN. GIM enters and addresses the crowd at Holiday Inn.) HOLIDAY INN 71 JIM Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first-ever performance at the first-ever Holiday Inn! DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE) HAPPY HOLIDAY HAPPY HOLIDAY WHILE THE MERRY BELLS KEEP RINGING MAY YOUR EVERY WISH COME TRUE DANCERS HAPPY HOLIDAY JIM HAPPY HOLIDAY HAPPY HOLIDAY HAPPY HOLIDAY DANCERS & JIM MAY THE CALENDAR KEEP BRINGING HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU! (LOUISE enters.) LOUISE IF YOU'RE BURDENED DOWN WITH TROUBLE, IF YOUR NERVES ARE WEARING THIN JIM & LOUISE PACK YOUR LOAD DOWN THE ROAD ALL AND COME TO HOLIDAY INN HAPPY HOLIDAY , HAPPY HOLIDAY HAEPY HOLIDAY TO YOU! HAPPY HOLIDAY TO YOU! (After the applause, JIM grabs the mic.) JIM ‘Thank you, Connecticut! I would now like to bring up to the stage one of the reasons we're all here. An original Mason from Mason Farm... please welcome, Miss Linda Mason! IMUSIC 12A: “LINDA'S FANFARE"] (Applause. LINDA shyly makes her way up on stage.) LINDA Thank you. I don’t know what to say. Except that I'm grateful that my home is filled with laughter and light again. And I know my father would be too. 72 HOLIDAY INN JIM I think it’ only fitting that Linda sing in our first show. (To CONDUCTOR.) Maestro. [MUSIC 13: “LET'S START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT”] (LINDA hesitates, takes a deep breath, gathering courage. A shaky start, but she gains confidence as she sings, blossoming into the talent that she was and is.) LINDA ONE MINUTE TO MIDNIGHT ONE MINUTE TO GO ONE MINUTE TO SAY GOODBYE BEFORE WE SAY HELLO LET'S START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT TWELVE O'CLOCK TONIGHT WHEN THEY DIM THE LIGHT LET'S BEGIN KISSING THE OLD YEAR OUT KISSING THE NEW YEAR IN LET'S WATCH THE OLD YEAR DIE, WITH A FOND GOODBYE AND OUR HOPES AS HIGH AS A KITE, HOW CAN OUR LOVE GO WRONG IF WE START THE NEW YEAR— (Just then, a crash as TED stumbles in from the audience, knocking right into waiters, who drop their trays. Clearly drunk, he notices the audience.) JIM ‘Ted? TED (Mumbles, drunkenly.) I couldn't find the front door. JIM ‘Ted Hanover, everybody! Ain't he a gas? (To TED, under his breath.) What are you doing here? HOLIDAY INN 73 TED I came for your big opening! CIED starts to fall off the stage. LOUISE saves him.) LOUISE Whoa there buddy, let’s get you a hot coffee. (LOUISE ushers TED offstage.) JIM (Urgently, to LINDA and musicians.) From the refrain! Maestro two, three— (IM goes to look for TED.) LINDA LET'S WATCH THE OLD YEAR DIE WITH A FOND GOODBYE AND OUR HOPES AS HIGH AS A KITE HOW CAN OUR LOVE GO WRONG IF WE START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT? (Then.) Ladies and gentlemen, the Holiday Inn Dancers! (Dance break. But just as the DANCERS start their routine, TED jumps back on stage and takes over, tapping up a storm, a bottle of whiskey in his hands. He grabs LINDA...) TED Excuse me, Miss, would you care to cut a rug? (To the mic as he knocks it over.) Pardon me, sir. LINDA No, I can’t— TED Yes you can, I'm Ted Hanover! (IED whisks LINDA into a drunken dance while the ensemble sings around them, slightly confused at the change in choreography but gamely going along with it.) 74 HOLIDAY INN ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE) AHHHH AHHHH AHHHHH OOOHH OOOHH AH! IM attempts to cut in and save LINDA, but TED steals her back. At the climax of the dance, it's clear that TED and LINDA have perfect dance chemistry. The CROWD cheers them on and TED plants a drunken kiss on LINDA.) GIM taps TED on the shoulder.) JIM Excuse me, GIM decks TED, who does a face-plant into the stage deck. LINDA runs away.) JIM Linda! STANLEY What do we do?! LOUISE Keep singing! GIM runs off after LINDA.) ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE) LET'S WATCH THE OLD YEAR DIE WITH A FOND GOODBYE AND OUR HOPES AS HIGH AS A KITE, HOW CAN OUR LOVE GO WRONG IF WE START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT! (A giant champagne bottle explodes as they welcome in 1947.) END OF ACTI ACTII [MUSIC 14: “ENTRACTE"] [MUSIC 14A: “OPENING ACT II"] Scene One Holiday Inn (Bedroom & Halls) - New Year's Day, 1947 (A clock ticks... TICK-TOCK-TICK-TOCK...) (In an upstairs bedroom, TED bolts up in bed. He looks around, disoriented, hungover.) TED Where am I? (LOUISE bolts up in bed newt to him.) LOUISE My bedroom. TED (Spooks.) 1 LOUISE (Spooks.) 1 TED Who are you? 75 76 HOLIDAY INN LOUISE You don’t remember? TED Did we.. LOUISE Not on your life, kid. TED (Grabs his head.) ‘There is a nasty game of pinball happening in my head. LOUISE ‘That gallon of whiskey might have had something to do with it. Here, take these. Courtesy of Mr. Bayer. (She hands him some aspirin. JIM enters.) JIM Good morning. I hope you slept well. I didn't. TED Jim? Where am I? JIM My farm in Connecticut. You broke a window, tore the upholstery to shreds, and horrified our guests. TED How humiliating. I'm in Connecticut? JIM Do you not remember last night? TED Let's see. I got a wire from Lila saying she was quitting the act, I remember that alll right. JIM Lila Dixon, quitting? HOLIDAY INN "77 TED She landed a millionaire from Texas who promised to make her a star. JIM She finally got what she wanted. TED And I got ditched. JIM And then you got drunk. TED And then I got on a train to come see you. JIM And then? TED And then...I woke up in bed with... (TED turns to LOUISE.) LOUISE Louise. TED Louise. Listen, buddy, whatever I did, I'm sorry. JIM Hey, I'm sorry you lost your dance partner. TED Yeah so am I. If T ever want to make it in Hollywood, I need a partner—wait a second. Did I dance with somebody last night? JIM (Damn it.) No. 78 HOLIDAY INN LOUISE No. TED No, I did...she was perfect! Like we were connected. JIM You were pretty sauced last night. I'm not sure you— TED I knew there was a reason I came here! She's my new partner! She’ the girl I should be taking to Hollywood! (Beat.) But who was she? JIM You don't remember. Remember? TED T remember a vague outline. LOUISE ‘That was me. (TED looks at LOUISE. LOUISE smiles, poses as a DANCER.) TED I don’t think that was the outline. But I'm sure I would know her if 1 danced with her again. JIM Come on, there are a million girls out there who'd be dynamite with you. What's that you always say? Girls are like buses. Miss one and there'll be another in ten minutes. LOUISE Not in my experience. TED I'm not interested in any old bus. I’m interested in that bus. [MUSIC 15: “YOU'RE EASY TO DANCE WITH"] — HOLIDAY INN 79 JIM Iwas going to suggest the next bus to New York. TED Tl dance with all the girls in your show until I find the one I'm looking for. LOUISE Start with me. (Pulls him close.) ‘You never know. CTED starts to dance with LOUISE, who is anything but graceful.) TED ICOULD DANCE NIGHTLY JUST HOLDING YOU TIGHTLY, MY SWEET LOUISE Eyes up, fella. TED 1 COULD KEEP RIGHT ON BECAUSE YOU'RE SO LIGHT ON YOUR FEET LOUISE Iget that a lot. (Sings.) YOU'RE EASY TO DANCE WITH... TED Nope. Where are the other bedrooms, Jim? (He runs into the hallway.) JIM Right this way! TED Wake up, girls! Who wants to be Ted Hanover's new dance partner? (The GIRLS come running out oftheir rooms, giggling, and excited fora chance at stardom.) 80 HOLIDAY INN GIRLS (WOMENS ENSEMBLE) THERE IS NO DOUBT IN THE WAY YOU STAND OUT IN A CROWD THOUGH IT’S CALLED DANCING TO ME IT'S ROMANCING OUT LOUD... GIRLS TED (Sighing.) YOU'RE EASY TO DANCE WITH AHH LOVE YOU THE WAYIDO MAKES YOU EASY TO DANCE WITH ‘THAT IS WHY I'M ALWAYS RIGHT ON THE BEAT UHH ALL THOSE CHARMS IN ONE MAN'S ARMS MAKE YOU EASY TO DANCE WITH 1 CAN HARDLY KEEP MY MIND ON MY FEET OOH GIRLS (WOMENS ENSEMBLE) LET'S DANCE FOREVER COME ON, SAY WE'LL NEVER BE THROUGH TED IT’S SO EASY TO DANCE WITH YOU... (IED makes his way through the house, searching high and low for the girl he danced with on New Year's Eve, like Prince Charming testing each girl for the right shoe. Dance break.) ROSE TM EASY TO DANCE WITH! TED “A” for effort. JANIE (Sung by offstage baritone.) 1M EASY TO DANCE WITH! TED Dad? SUSIE I'M EASY TO DANCE WITH... HOLIDAY INN “81 BRENDA TM EASY TO DANCE WITH... HADLEY & DAPHNE WE'RE EASY TO DANCE WITH... Danee break.) TED Sorry, ladies. You're all marvelous, but whoever this girl is, she must have taken the early train. I gotta go find her! GIRLS Awwwww! (Sings.) IT’S SO EASY TO DANCE WITH YOU... DAPHNE You're a peach. TED IT’S SO EASY TO DANCE. GIRLS EASY TO DANCE WITH YOU! IMUSIC 15A: “EASY TO DANCE WITH PLAYOFF") 82 HOLIDAY INN Scene Two Outside Midville Elementary School and Main Street - A few days later GIM waits for LINDA as she exits the school carrying a briefcase. Throughout the scene and song, TOWNFOLK pass by.) JIM Linda. (LINDA turns and sees him. Wishes she didn't. Starts off...) Linda, wait...I want to apologize for New Year's Eve, Are you doing all right? LINDA. Have you seen the front page of The Courier? JIM They canceled my subscription. LINDA ‘The principal called me into his office. He's gotten more than a few phone calls from concerned parents. JIM Oh yikes. I'm really sorry. It's all my fault—tell me what can I do to help? LINDA Let's just say that’s the extent of my show business comeback. JIM But you were sensational! Ted was the one who mucked it all up. LINDA And then you punched him. JIM I'm not proud of it, but Ted has a knack for taking away the women I care about. Look at what happened with Lila. And now you. HOLIDAY INN ‘83 LINDA Me? (JIM pulls LINDA aside to speak privately, away from the PASSERSBY.) JIM Linda, unless I'm on some other planet, I thought you and I were finally getting to know each other, And like each other. LINDA That's not...incorrect. JIM. Well I guess that’s why I'm here. To start a new chapter. Would you...like to go on a date? LINDA Adate? JIM That's normally how these things start. LINDA Tma little out of practice, JIM That makes two of us. LINDA What would we do? JIM We could go for a ride on my tractor. [MUSIC 16: “LET'S TAKE AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK”) LINDA In January? JIM Tt’ invigorating, 84 HOLIDAY INN LINDA Its refrigerating! JIM Oh come on, you're not afraid of a little cold, are you? LINDA I spend my days with ten year olds. I'm not afraid of anything, uM Except this date. LINDA Who says it’s a date? uM We don’t have to do anything fancy. We can take it one step at a time. LINDA What's the first step? JIM LET'S TAKE AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK I'M JUST BURSTING WITH TALK WHAT A TALE COULD BE TOLD IF WE WENT FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK (They walk through the town and into the park...) LET'S TAKE A STROLL THROUGH THE PARK DOWN A LANE WHERE IT’S DARK AND A HEART THAT'S CONTROLLED MAY RELAX ON AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK I KNOW FOR A COUPLE WHO SEEMS TO BE MILES APART ‘THERE'S NOTHING LIKE WALKING AND HAVING A HEART-TO-HEART LINDA 1 KNOW A GIRL WHO DECLINED COULDN'T MAKE UP HER MIND JIM SHE WAS WRAPPED UP AND SOLD COMING JIM & LINDA. HOME FROM AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK ™ HOLIDAY INN. 85 LINDA SOME COUPLES GO FOR A BUGGY RIDE WHEN THEY START CARING A LOT JIM OTHERS WILL BICYCLE SIDE-BY-SIDE, OUT TO SOME ROMANTIC SPOT LINDA BUT WHEN YOU HAVEN'T A SOU JIM THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO... JIM & LINDA LET'S TAKE AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK I'M JUST BURSTING WITH TALK WHAT A TALE COULD BE TOLD IF WE WENT FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK! WHAT A TALE COULD BE TOLD IF WE WENT FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK (They kiss.) JIM Tve been wanting to do that since Christmas Eve. LINDA Me too. JIM Say what are you doing for Valentine's Day? LINDA Oh, just the usual. Dinner for one and a Russian novel. JIM How about dinner for two and a show at the Inn? LINDA As long as I'm in the audience. 86 HOLIDAY INN JIM Come on, we'll build a whole number around you! LINDA It’s not right for a teacher to be mixed up in all this. JIM We'll give free tickets to all your students. And the concerned parents. LINDA (Beat, smiles.) Allright. JIM All right?! LINDA Allright. Yes. I'll do it. JIM Rehearsals start tomorrow after school! LINDA It's a date. JIM & LINDA WHAT A TALE COULD BE TOLD IF WE WENT FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED. HOLIDAY INN 87 Scene Three Rehearsal Studio, New York City - February 1947 [MUSIC 17: “TED’S REHEARSAL (‘CHEEK TO CHEEK’)”] (TED rehears dances to “her! a partner dance, only his partner is a ghost light on casters. He TED THEN WE'LL DO A CROSS BALL CHANGE TLL SWEEP YOU IN A DIP .»DANCE WITH ME IWANT MY ARM ABOUT YOU THE CHARM ABOUT— DANNY (Bursts in.) Who? Who?! The charm about who? TED Hi Danny. DANNY You've got a Valentine's show tomorrow. You still haven't found a new partner?! TED Of course I have, meet Theresa. DANNY Ha ha ha. I'm laughing. Universal called. TED Universal? DANNY As in Hollywood. TED Oh my God! 88 HOLIDAY INN DANNY ‘They want to test you and Lila for a new picture. TED Finally! Hollywood. I'm gonna be a movie star! DANNY I didn’t want to tell him she went rogue, so I’m stalling. But I don't know how long I can hold them off. TED Right, right.... DANNY Ifyou don't have a girl, you don't have a chance. TED Ive looked all over the city. No one dances with me like that girl I found up at Jim’ place on New Year's Eve. DANNY Then go back to Holiday Inn and look harder! [MUSIC 17A: “TRANSITION TO ACT 2, SCENE 4”) HOLIDAY INN ‘89. Scene Four: Holiday Inn (Outside) - Valentine's Day 1947 (Outside, LINDA rushes up just as CHARLIE scooters up from the other direction, chomping ona bag of licorice.) LINDA. Charlie, what are you doing here? CHARLIE Dropping off final notice from the bank. Mr. Hardy’s deep in the red and not in a festive Valentine's way if you know what I mean. Why are you here? LINDA Well— CHARLIE Are you dating Mr. Hardy? LINDA Charlie—I'm here for rehearsal. For a show. CHARLIE Uh-huh, Because I saw you and Mr. Hardy together in the park once. And on Main Street. So you can see how one might think that you're dating. Because you've been on a handful of dates. LINDA Define a handful. CHARLIE You're the teacher. LINDA ‘Three. We've been on three dates. CHARLIE I thought you liked being independent. 90 HOLIDAY INN LINDA I do! And I also like being in a relationship CHARLIE Oh, now it’s a relationship? (LINDA fails to come up with a lie.) LINDA ‘That's still up for review. But, I will make sure Mr. Hardy receives the notice. Thank you. (LINDA stuffs the notice into her purse, then—) Give me a piece of that. [MUSIC 17B: “BEFORE ‘CAREFUL”] (She takes a piece of his licorice and continues inside.) Inn (Stage (The Inn is abuzz with preparations for the Valentine's Day show. The DANCERS hang hearts and doilies. At the piano, JIM is in the middle of composing a song, banging out chords to a new song he's written [“Be Careful, It's My Heart”].) (LOUISE enters, with a clipboard.) LOUISE Hey, watch it! I just had that tuned yesterday. JIM I know. I know. I'm sorry, LOUISE So what'd you get Linda? JIM For what? LOUISE Valentine's Day. JIM Oh. I didn’t. We agreed to take it one step at a time so I don’t want to put too much pressure on her, HOLIDAY INN “91 LOUISE If L were you, I'd put some pressure on those keys and play this song you've been writing for her. JIM Who said I'm writing a song for Linda? LOUISE Your first draft was literally called “A Song for Linda” JIM Do you think it'll scare her away? LOUISE It's Valentine's Day, kid. Let her rip! (LOUISE exits as LINDA enters. JIM hides the sheet music behind his back.) LINDA Hi! Sorry I’m late. I had papers to grade and there was snow to shovel and...all the excuses. JIM Oh it’s quite all right, we've been plenty busy here getting ready for tomorrow night. LINDA ‘The place is going to look beautiful. JIM It certainly hope so. LINDA Ihave a confession to make. JIM What's that? LINDA I've never celebrated Valentine's Day. JIM What? I don't believe that. 92 HOLIDAY INN LINDA Oh no, it’s true. The only Valentines I've ever gotten were doily hearts from my students. JIM. Oh darn it. I forgot to make one. LINDA Are you holding a doily behind your back? JIM No. LINDA Are you sure it’s not a doily? JIM T'm sure. LINDA. You don't have to be embarrassed if it’s a doily. JIM Please stop saying doily. I ~ wrote you a song. GIM hands her the sheet music.) LINDA (Reads the title.) “Be Careful, It’s My Heart”. JIM Lain't kidding, either. GIM begins to play, teaching her the song.) IMUSIC 18: “BE CAREFUL, IT'S MY HEART”] JIM SWEETHEART OF MINE, I'VE SENT YOU A VALENTINE, SWEETHEART OF MINE, HOLIDAY INN 93 IT'S MORE THAN A VALENTINE... BE CAREFUL, IT'S MY HEART NOT MY WATCH YOU'RE HOLDING MY HEAR’ NOT THE NOTE I SENT YOU YOU QUICKLY BURNED IT'S NOT THE BOOK I LENT YOU ‘THAT YOU NEVER RETURNED... (TED steps in and watches.) LINDA REMEMBER, IT’S MY HEART ‘THE HEART WITH WHICH SO WILLINGLY I PART. JIM & LINDA IT’S YOURS TO TAKE, TO KEEP OR BREAK BUT PLEASE, BEFORE YOU START BE CAREFUL, IT’S MY HEART TED HiJim, JIM ‘Ted! You're back? TED Tm still looking for that girl— LINDA Which girl? TED I don't believe we've met. LINDA (Confuused.) We haven't? JIM ‘Ted, Linda. Linda, Ted. Anyway, there are plenty of girls here. Why don't you check the bar? 94 HOLIDAY INN TED Yd love to hear more of that song first. It’s terrific. Very dani JIM You should probably be going. TED Come on, just play me a little. JIM Those girls get to bed early— TED Play me a few bars and I'm gone. (JIM does. TED dances solo but soon realizes—) TED Say, that’s a Foxtrot. You know what a Foxtrot needs? (Holds his hand out to LINDA.) A partner. LINDA (Protesting.) Oh, no, no, no— TED Come on. (TED whirls LINDA in and dances with her. They light up the stage as they dance... and JIM sings...) JIM REMEMBER, IT’S MY HEART ‘THE HEART WITH WHICH SO WILLINGLY I PART... TED (Realizes.) Ttwas you! LINDA ‘What was me? HOLIDAY INN ‘95, TED (To JIM.) You didn't tell her? LINDA Tell me what? TED For six weeks I've been searching for the girl I danced with on New Year’s Eve and you've been right here the whole time! JIM Hey now, wait a minute— TED (To LINDA.) I want you to be my new partner. LINDA What? TED Dream come true, I know? We can start right now! I already choreographed a dance just for Valentine's Day— JIM ‘No way, no way. You're not taking her away from me— TED 1¢ idea is to do the act here. I'll get all the newspapers up to You're not listening to me, Jim. cover it, business will boom— JIM We're doing just fine. LINDA Are you sure, Jim? I ran into Charlie Winslow outside— JIM Oh great, my favorite person. What did he want? 96 HOLIDAY INN (LINDA goes to her purse. Gives JIM the final notice envelope.) TED Look. Jim. If the last six months have taught me anything, it’ that Ted Hanover sells tickets. JIM No. No, I've already written the songs. The show is all set. LINDA (Ventures to IM.) You could make some adjustments, right? TED Ofcourse he can, he’s just trying to hide his gratitude. JIM Linda, you... think this is a good idea? LINDA We've only been open six weeks, we could use the press, and if Ted is a big draw... TED Ted is a big draw. LINDA Jim, don’t we want this place, our place, to be the best it can be? Beat.) JIM I suppose so. LINDA ‘Then why don’t we give this a shot. JIM (Beat, painful.) What are you envisioning? "NY HOLIDAY INN 97 TED Something that reeks of grace and charm. JIM Oh, naturally. TED Its a romantic waltz. JIM Iwas thinking more along the lines ofa conga. TED It's Valentine's Day. They want sweet and gentle. The audience should swoon every time I take her into my arms. JIM ‘Swoon, oh yes. What a joy it will be to watch you dance with one of my girlfriends again. Anything I can do to help. LINDA just a show, Jim. (Beat.) JIM All right. Il make sure the conductor knows you want it sweet and gentle. TED Terrific. Let’s get to work! IMUSIC 18A: “BE CAREFUL, IT’S MY HEART (TAG)"] (TED and LINDA go. JIM watches them go.) JIM BE CAREFUL, IT’S MY... 98 HOLIDAY INN Scene Five Holiday Inn (Stage) IMUSIC 19: “CHEEK TO CHEEK"] JIM (Contid.) HEART... (The Inn is packed for Valentine's Day, everyone here to see TED. The DANCERS enter, elegantly attired.) MALE DANCERS HEAVEN AAH FEMALE DANCERS HEAVEN HEAVEN AAH HEAVEN HEAVEN HEAVEN HEAVEN HEAVEN ALL AHH FEMALE DANCERS MALE DANCERS HEAVEN oon YM IN HEAV OOH AH AND MY HEART BEATS SO THAT I CAN HARDLY OOH SPEAK AND I SEEM TO FIND THE HAPPINESS I SEEK WHEN WERE OUT TOGETHER 00H OOH OOH DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK MALE DANCERS FEMALE DANCERS HEAVEN OOH 1M IN HEAVEN OOH AAH AND THE CARES THAT HUNG AROUND ME, AAH ‘THROUGH THE WEEK AAH OOH SEEM TO VANISH LIKE A GAMBLERS LUCKY STREAK WHEN WERE OUT TOGETHER ALL DANCERS DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK ww HOLIDAY INN 99 (LOUISE enters in a Cupid costume.) LOUISE Ladies and gentlemen, Holiday Inn is proud to welcome dance sensation Ted Hanover, appearing tonight with our very own Linda Mason. (TED enters with LINDA. He's in a tux. She's gorgeous in a sweeping dress. JIM has entered and prompts the conductor from the stage.) LINDA OH I LOVE TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN AND TO REACH THE HIGHEST PEAK BUT IT DOESN'T THRILL ME HALF AS MUCH AS DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK TED OH I LOVE TO GO OUT FISHING INA RIVER OR A CREEK BUTI DON’T ENJOY IT HALF AS MUCH, AS DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK (As TED and LINDA debut their act, JIM changes the tempo and groove each time they get too close, throwing TED off kilter before he can get too romantic. The tempo gets increasingly fast until it’s absurd.) TED DANCERS DANCE WITH ME DANCE WITH ME I WANT MY IWANT MY ARM ABOUT YO! AAH THE CHARM ABOUT YOU WILL— AAH (The tempo changes to conga.) ALL HEAVEN, I’M IN HEAVEN, AND MY HEART BEATS SO THAT I CAN HARDLY SPEAK— (The tempo changes to tarantella.) AND ISEEM TO FIND THE HAPPINESS I SEEK— (The tempo changes to slower ballad.) TED & LINDA WHEN WE'RE OUT TOGETHER DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK 100 HOLIDAY INN TED & LINDA DANCERS HEAVEN HEAVEN 1M IN HEAVEN HEAVEN AND MY HEART BEATS SO THAT AAH ICAN HARDLY SPEAK ANDISEEM TO oon FIND THE HAPPL K WHEN WE'RE OU’ OUT TOGETHER DANCING OUT TOGETHER DANCING OUT'TOGETEHR OUT TOGETHER DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK AHH AHH (By the end of the number, it has become a Gilbert and Sullivan patter song. The DANCERS attempt to keep up, to comic affect.) [MUSIC 19A: “CHEEK TO CHEEK PLAYOFF (ABRAHAM)"] (The DANCERS exit as the action moves backstage.) in (Backs! (TED grabs JIM and pulls him aside.) TED What was that all about? JIM What was what all about? TED Every time I got close to Linda, you threw the tempo. JIM Why were you getting so close to her in the first place? That is not what we rehearsed. TED When I play a role, I'm fully invested. JIM A little too invested if you ask me. TED Why are you getting so touchy? HOLIDAY INN 107 JIM Oh, I don’t know! Maybe because every time | fall for a girl, you swan in and sprinkle stardust in her eyes! TED This isn’t stardust, buddy, it’s business. JIM Its always business with you! This is my life. TED No, it’s her life. Linda is good, Jim. She’s good enough for the big time. JIM Oh no. You are not doing this to me! This is Lila all over again. (LINDA joins them.) LINDA What's Lila all over again? JIM Nothing, honey. You were wonderful, you don't have to worry about a thing— LINDA I'm worried about what just went on out there. Someone could have been hurt. JIM ‘Maybe you should tell that to Teddy here, he doesn't seem to be concerned about hurting people. TED (Steps up to JIM.) What's that supposed to mean? JIM ‘You wanna know what it means? LINDA Whaat is going on between you two? 102 HOLIDAY INN TED I think Jim should tell you. LINDA. Tell me what? JIM Nothing. TED It’s not nothing. (To LINDA.) I was telling him that you and I work well together. It was clear on stage tonight and I was suggesting that we keep working on our act. We could really go places with it. I'm talking about Hollywood. LINDA. Oh wow, Ted, thank you but... T don’t think so. You, yes. But P'm just— TED Astar in the making. LINDA I mean, it does sound exciting, but... I can't leave Midville. (To JIM.) Right? JIM Exactly. You have a life here. You have your students. You have... me. (LINDA looks at JIM, pleased to hear him say that.) LINDA Exactly, TED Just pointing out the possibilities. We put this show together in one night, imagine what we could do with a little time. (TED goes. LINDA turns to JIM.) = HOLIDAY INN 103 LINDA 1 know how it can get between old friends, but I think Ted’s just— JIM You can never be sure with Ted. There's a fine line between what's real and what's for show, LINDA. Tonight was for show. This is real. You and me. JIM You don’t say. LINDA Oh, I do say. (They smile. They kiss.) IMUSIC 198: “TRANSITION (FROM JIM & LINDA TO DANNY & TED)"] (A phone rings. DANNY, in pajamas and a sleep mask, picks up the phone on the side of the stage. TED is on the other side.) DANNY (Into phone.) Whoever's calling me at midnight, I hope it’s better than the dream I was having. TED (Into phone.) Depends, what were you dreaming about? DANNY Not you. DANNY'S MOTHER V.O. (On phone eatension.) Danny I can hear you talking all the way upstairs! DANNY I'm on the phone with a client, Ma! 104 HOLIDAY INN TED Do you live with your mother? DANNY No. TED Listen, Danny. I found the girl. DANNY Which girl? TED ‘The girl from New Year's Eve! My new dance partner. DANNY ‘You're kidding. Where the hell was she? TED At Jim’ place. I'm telling you the chemistry between us is perfect. DANNY T'm gonna need proof before I can call the producers from Hollywood, boychik. TED I'll put together something great for Easter. You gotta come up here! DANNY Ma! When's Easter?! ms HOLIDAY INN 105 Scene Six Midville Town Center - Easter 1947 / Holiday Inn Stage (Dressed in their Sunday best, LOUISE and the DANCERS ezit the church.) STANLEY What a lovely Easter service. ‘STELLA I can’t remember the last time I saw the inside of a church. JANIE You were probably at confession. SUSIE I wonder if this is where Jim and Linda will get married. LOUISE I can't imagine why we wouldn't have the wedding at the Inn, DAPHNE ‘They can't get married at the Inn if it’s only open on the holidays. LOUISE What's a bigger holiday than a wedding? GIM overhears this last line as he and LINDA ewit the church.) JIM Who's getting married? (EVERYBODY spooks.) LOUISE Me. Lam. BRENDA (Grabs LOUISE’s hand and holds it up in union.) We are. 106 HOLIDAY INN JIM Okay, well we've got a two-show day so let’s deal with Easter first. (LOUISE and the DANCERS continue off.) LINDA What a beautiful day. Too bad we have to spend it inside. JIM Hey, we've still got a few minutes for an old-fashioned walk. LINDA With you, sit? Anytime. JM I just want to enjoy this magnificent spring day with you. (Just as they are about to kiss, TED enters.) TED Say, Linda, can we go over that opening number ballroom routine before the show? LINDA Sure. Meet you back at the Inn? TED We should make it perfect today. LINDA Of course. TED (To MIM as he exits.) Happy Easter, pal. Love the new song you wrote. JIM (To himself, seething.) Happy Easter, pal. LINDA Maybe he’s fallen in love with Connecticut after all. 7X HOLIDAY INN. 107 JIM My motherly intuition tells me he’ up to something, but I don't know what. LINDA Oh, Jim, he’s filling up the place. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. JIM ll give him doubt all right. LINDA Come on, Now where were we? JIM Thelieve I was about to lean in like this. IMUSIC 20: “EASTER PARADE") IM leans in.) LINDA Yes. JM Look deep into your eyes. LINDA Yes. JIM And tell you how beautiful you look. Right now. Right at this moment. I want to remember it for the rest of my life. (Sings.) IN YOUR EASTER BONNET WITH ALL THE FRILLS UPON IT YOU'LL BE THE GRANDEST LADY IN THE EASTER PARADE I'LL BE ALL IN CLOVER AND WHEN THEY LOOK YOU OVER I'LL BE THE PROUDEST FELLOW IN THE EASTER PARADE, 108 HOLIDAY INN LINDA ON THE AVENUE, FIFTH AVENUE ‘THE PHOTOGRAPHERS WILL SNAP US, AND YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU'RE IN THE ROTOGRAVURE JIM OH, I COULD WRITE A SONNET ABOUT YOUR EASTER BONNET AND OF THE GIRL I'M TAKING TO ‘THE EASTER PARADE, lay Inn (Stage) (The DANCERS jill the stage in resplendent pastels.) ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE) ON THE AVENUE, (ON THE AVENUE) FIFTH AVENUE (FIFTH AVENUE) THE PHOTOGRAPHERS WILL SNAP US. AND YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU'RE IN THE ROTOGRAVURE (LOUISE enters in costume.) LOUISE Hey guys, wait, one more with me! (Sings.) OH, I COULD WRITE A SONNET ABOUT YOUR EASTER BONNET MALE DANCERS (MALE ENSEMBLE) AND OF THE GIRL IM TAKING TO THE EASTER PARADE, (TED and LINDA enter.) TED NEVER SAW YOU LOOK QUITE SO PRETTY BEFORE NEVER SAW YOU DRESSED QUITE SO LOVELY, WHAT'S MORE HOLIDAY INN 109 GIM enters, surprising TED and joining him as LINDA’s “Easter date” in the number.) TED & JIM 1 COULD HARDLY WAIT TO KEEP OUR DATE THIS LOVELY EASTER MORNING LINDA AND MY HEART BEAT FAST. ASI CAME THROUGH THE DOOR, FOR IN MY EASTER BONNET WITH ALL THE FRILLS UPON IT I'LL BE THE GRANDEST LADY IN THE EASTER PARADE, DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE) JIM & TED OH I COULD WRITE A SONNET OH I COULD WRITE A SONNET JIM, TED & LINDA ABOUT YOUR (MY) EASTER BONNET AND YOUR EASTER BONNET AND OF THE GIRL I'M (YOU'RE) AND OF THE GIRLEM TAKING TO THE EASTER PARADE TERING TO THE EASTERIPARADE TO THE EASTER PARADE AAH [MUSIC 20A: “EASTER PLAYOFF”) Inn (Backs (DANNY enters looking for TED, who appears in his post-show garb, towel around his neck.) DANNY ‘Teddy! Teddy! TED Danny, you made it! DANNY Barely. I'm feeling a little out of place here. I think I just got stung by a wasp. Beat.) All right, let’ do this quick. I want to get the hell out of here. You were right about Linda Mason. TED Itold you!

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