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Irving Berlin's 'Holiday Inn' is a musical featuring music and lyrics by Berlin, with a book by Gordon Greenberg and Chad Hodge. The show premiered on Broadway in 2016 and includes a variety of classic songs by Berlin, highlighting themes of love and nostalgia. The production was directed by Gordon Greenberg and produced by Roundabout Theatre Company in association with Universal Stage Productions.
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Save Holiday Inn Script For Later LIBRETTO-VOCAL BOOK
Irving Berlin's
Holiday Inn
Music and Lyrics by Irving Berlin
Book by Gordon Greenberg and Chad Hodge
Orchestrations by Larry Blank
Vocal and Dance Arrangements by Sam Davis
Additional Dance and Vocal Arrangements by Bruce Pomahac
Originally Produced by Goodspeed Musicals, Michael P. Price, Executive Director
Produced on Broadway by Roundabout Theatre Company
Todd Haimes, Artistic Director/CEO; Julia C. Levy, Executive Director
‘Sydney Beers, General Manager; Steve Dow, Chief Administrative Office
Produced in association with Universal Stage Productions
Directed on Broadway by Gordon Greenberg
Copyright © 2016 Universal City Studios LLC.
International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved,
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“STEPPIN' OUT WITH MY BABY" © Copyright 1947 Irving Berlin; “I'LL CAPTURE YOUR HEART SINGING”
© Copyright 1941 Irving Berlin; “THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE” © Copyright 1930 Irving Berlin; “BLUE SKIES”
© Copyright 1926, 1927 Irving Berlin; “MARCHING ALONG WITH TIME” © Copyright 1938 Irving Bertin
“HEAT WAVE" © Copyright 1933 Irving Berlin; “IT'S A LOVELY DAY TODAY” © Copyright 1950 Irving Bertin:
“PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR" © 1942 Irving Berlin: “NOTHING MORE TO SAY" © Copyright 1948 Irving
Berlin; "SHAKING THE BLUES AWAY" © Copyright 1927 Irving Berlin; “WHITE CHRISTMAS" © Copyright,
1940, 1942 Irving Berlin; “HOLIDAY INN” © Copyright 1942 Irving Berlin; “HAPPY HOLIDAY” © Copyright
1941, 1942 Irving Berlin; “LET'S START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT” © 1941 Irving Berlin; "YOU'RE EASY TO.
DANCE WITH" by © Copyright 1941 Irving Berlin; “LET'S TAKE AN OLD FASHIONED WALK" © Copyright,
1948, 1949 Irving Berlin: “BE CAREFUL, IT'S MY HEART” © Copyright 1941, 1942 Irving Berlin: “CHEEK TO.
CHEEK” © Copyright 1935 Irving Berlin: “ABRAHAM” © Copyright 1942 Irving Berlin; "EASTER PARADE”
© Copyright 1933 Irving Berlin; “SONG OF FREEDOM" © Copyright 1942 Irving Berlin; “LET'S SAY IT WITH
FIRECRACKERS” © Copyright 1942 Irving Berlin, “FINALE” © Copyright 1935, 1941, 1947 Irving Berlin
“For all songs listed above, this anangement © Copyright 2017 The ining Berlin Catalog Beneficiaries LP.
d/b/a The Estate of Irving Berlin. INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTS SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Administered by Willamson Music (ASCAP): a Concord Musie Company for Irving Berlin Publishing LP. d/b/a
Irving Berlin Music Company. Copyrights Renewed. Intemational Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved.Irving Berlin's HOLIDAY INN began previews on Broadway at Studio 54 on September 1, 2016
in New York, New York and opened officially on October 6, 2016. It played for a total of 38
previews and 117 performances.
Produced by Roundabout Theatre Company (Todd Haimes, Artistie Director; Harold Wolpert,
Managing Director; Julia C. Levy, Executive Director; Sydney Beers, General Manager) in
association with Universal Stage Productions.
Set Design - Anna Louizos; Costume Design — Alejo Vietti; Lighting Design - Jeff Croiter;
Sound Design - Keith Caggiano; Orchestrations ~ Larry Blank; Vocal and Dance Arrangements
~ Sam Davis; Additional Dance and Vocal Arrangements ~ Bruce Pomahac; Music Coordinator
~ John Miller; Hair & Wig Design - Charles G. LaPointe; Make-Up Design - Joe Dulude II;
Associate Director - Andy Seiior, Jr.; Associate Choreographer ~ Barry Busby; Production
Management ~ Aurora Productions; Production Stage Manager ~ Michael J. Passaro; Casting
= Jim Carnahan, C.S.A, Carrie Gardner, C.S.A., Stephen Kopel, C.S.A.; Press Representative
~ Polk & Co.; Associate Managing Director ~ Steve Dow; Director of Marketing & Audience
Development ~ Robert Sweibel; Director of Development ~ Lynne Gugenheim Gregory;
Founding Director - Gene Feist; Adams Associate Artistic Director ~ Scott Ellis; Executive
Producer Sydney Beers; Musical Supervision & Direction by Andy Einhorn; Choreographed By
Denis Jones; Directed by Gordon Greenberg with the following cast:
Jim Hardy.............. Bryce Pinkham
‘Ted Hanover. Corbin Bleu
Lila Dixon . veeeeees veeeeeeeeeeees++Megan Sikora
Damny...... 2.1 BaSeaEratiEn ve NRW Wt 10 “ «+. Lee Wilkof
Charlie Winslow. seeeeeee+s Morgan Gao
Linda Mason feet eet e ttt bttttttttsssestssses Lora Lee Gayor
Lemhstics 06 0s onesie
Ensemble
-++.Megan Lawrence
«Darien Crago, Caley Crawford, Jenifer Foote,
Shina Ann Mortis, Catherine Ricafort, Amanda Rose, Jonalyn Saxer,
Samantha Sturm, Amy Van Norstrand, Paige Williams, Malik Akil,
Will Burton, Barry Busby, Matt Meigs, Drew Redington, Parker Slaybaugh,
Travis Ward-Osborne, Victor Wischart, Kevin Worley, Borris York
Barry Busby, Caley Crawford, Jenifer Foote, Parker Slaybaugh
Swings .
Originally produced by Goodspeed Musicals, Michael P. Price, Executive ProducerCHARACTERS
JIM HARDY ~ A performer and singer-songwriter eager to leave showbiz behind for a simpler
life on a farm in Connecticut, thirties (lyric baritone)
TED HANOVER - Jim's best friend and performing partner; a charming ladies’ man looking
for his big break, thirties (lyric baritone)
LILA DIXON - A determined performer and Jim’s mismatched fiancée, thirties (high belt)
DANNY - Jim, Ted and Lila’s agent, thirties to fifties
CHARLIE WINSLOW - A precocious bank messenger, nine to twelve
LINDA MASON - A school teacher with the hidden talents of a singer and dancer, thirties
(belt/mix)
LOUISE - The local “fix it” woman; tough, no nonsense and extremely perceptive, forties to
fifties (belt)
ENSEMBLE:
ANNOUNCER
NIGHTLY DANCERS (STANLEY, DAPHNE, SAWYER, STELLA, BYRON, ROSE, JANIE,
‘SUSIE, BRENDA, HADLEY)
RADIO QUARTET
RADIO HOST
RADIO VOICE OVER
DANNY'S MOTHER (VOICE OVER)
FIRST A.D.
DIRECTOR
FIRST A.D.
CAMERAMAN
SOUND MAN
PA.
MIDVILLE TOWNSPEOPLE
HOLIDAY INN GUESTSMUSICAL SYNOPSIS
ACTI
Scene 1: The Cat's Meow Nightclub, Stage - August 1946
“Steppin’ Out With My Baby / I'll Capture Your Heart”
Scone 2: Lila's Dressing Room, Backstage at The Cat's Meow
“The Little Things in Life”
Scene 3: Mason Farmhouse, Midville,
“Blue Skies”... . Jim & the Ensemble
‘Siarching Along wit Tite «, o ise sw eee mw RRO eR Linda & Jim
Scene 4: Nightclubs, The Midwest / The Farmhouse
“Heat Wave”
Scene 5: Behind the Barn, The Farm
“It’s a Lovely Day Today” .
Scene 6: KENO Radio Studios, Las Vegas
“Plenty to Be Thankful For”.......
Scene 7: Linda's Apartment - Thanksgiving 1946
“Plenty to Be Thankful For (Reprise)”
“Marching Along With Time (Reprise)
Scene 8: KENO Radio Studios / The Farmhouse
“Nothing More to Say”
Scene 9: The Farmhouse ~ Christmas Eve 1946
“Shaking the Blues Away”
“White Christmas”...... .
Scene 10, Holiday Inn (Stage) ~ New Year's Eve 1946
“Holiday Inn / Happy Holiday”
“Let's Start the New Year Right”.
. Jim, Ted, Lila & the Ensemble
immediately following
‘Ted, Lila & the Ensemble
-Jim, Lila & Louise
-Ted, Lila & the Ensemble
Linda & Charlie
.- Linda
Louise & the Ensemble
Jim & Linda
- Jim, Louise & the Ensemble
. Linda, Jim, Ted & the EnsembleMUSICAL SYNOPSIS
ACTII
Scene 1: Holiday Inn (Bedroom & Halls) - New Year's Day 1947
“You're Easy to Dance With” . ‘Ted & the Girls
Scene 2: Outside Midville Elementary School & M:
“Let's Take an Old-Fashioned Walk” ...........60000000seeeeeeeeeeee .. Jim & Linda
Scene 3: Rehearsal Studio, New York City ~ February 1947
Scene 4: Holiday Inn (Outside & Stage) - Valentine's Day 1947
“Be Careful, It's My Heart”. feeb eetseeeeeeeeeeeees Jim, Linda & Ted
Scene 5: Holiday Inn (Stage & Backstage)
“Cheek to Cheek”..... +++. Ted, Linda & the Ensemble
Scene 6: Midville Town Center / Holiday Inn (Stage & Backstage) - Easter 1947
“Easter Parade (cont’d)” 0.2.62 60s0sseeeeeeeesenecene ‘Ted, Linda, Jim, & the Ensemble
Scene 7: Holiday Inn (Living Room) - Independence Day 1947
“Song of Freedom”...........0000000eeecee eee eeeeeeeeeseeeeee es Linda, Ted & Jim
Scene 8: Holiday Inn (Stage & Backstage) / The Barn
“Let's Say It with Firecrackers / Song of Freedom”
“Nothing More to Say (Reprise)”......
Scene 9: Holiday Inn (Living Room) ~ Thanksgiving 1947
Scene 10: Universal Studios Sound Stage, Los Angeles
“White Christmas (Reprise)”.........060ccs0ecceseeeeseeeeeeneeeees +++ Linda & Jim
Scene 11: Movie Screen
Scene 12: Holiday Inn (Stage)
“Binale” oo... e cece cece eeeeeeeeecceeeeeeseeeeecseeeeeneeees . The Company
Jim, Ted, Linda & the Ensemble
veces . LindaA NOTE TO THE DIRECTOR
When we started adapting the classic film Holiday Inn for the stage, we were struck by the
idea of our everyday reality versus the curated reality we now see in social media. In the Golden
Age of Hollywood, this was the exclusive province of celebrities, but now anyone can control
how their reality is perceived by others. It dawned on us that this classic film was making an
important statement about the value of living in the moment, being true to yourself, and loving
the truth of your life over the glamorized, edited, “filtered” version.
While staying true to the warmth and spirit of the original film, our Holiday Inn is built for
contemporary audiences. Although it is essential to cast the show with actors who have a deep
respect and affection for this period and , it is just as important to invest these characters
with truth, humanity and the current sensibility that informs so much of the humor. Whether
it’s the awkward meeting of Jim and Linda, both unable to communicate easily, the narcissism
of Ted, or the unconventional relationship forged between Louise and Jim, this is a world that
exists simultaneously in 1946 and in the now.
This likewise applies to the ensemble, a diverse group of quirky ebullient individuals, whose
energy and pulse - and kinetic dancing ~ propel the show. The more you find unique characters
for each member of the ensemble and embrace their individual senses of humor and connection
to the heart of the story, the more the show comes alive.
Ultimately, this show is a joy machine, and the fuel it runs on is the spirit created in the
rehearsal room. We encourage you to cultivate all the humor, humanity and appreciation for
this beloved era you can, and we wish you a wonderful stay at Holiday Inn.
Gordon Greenberg & Chad Hodge
Book writers, Holiday InnACTI
IMUSIC 1; “OVERTURE”]
Scene One
The Cat's Meow Nightclub, Stage - August 1946
(The NIGHTLY DANCERS enter at a small nightclub in Flatbush.)
IMUSIC 2: “STEPPIN’ OUT WITH MY BABY / I'LL CAPTURE YOUR HEART"]
ANNOUNCER (RECORED VOICE OVER)
‘The Cat's Meow in downtown Flatbush is thrilled to present... The Wedding Bell Revue!
BOYS
STEPPIN’ OUT WITH MY BABY
CAN'T GO WRONG 'CAUSE I'M IN RIGHT
IT’S FOR SURE, NOT FOR MAYBE
THAT IM ALL DRESSED UP TONIGHT,
GIRLS
STEPPIN’ OUT WITH MY HONEY
CAN'T BE BAD TO FEEL SO GOOD
NI FELT QUITE SO SUNNY
SO 1 KEEP ON KNOCKIN’ WOOD,
(Then, as BOYS propose to GIRLS.)
Ido!
(Dance break. The DANCERS exit to reveal tonight's headlining act: JIM HARDY, an open-
hearted romantic singer, and TED HANOVER, as slick on the dance floor as he is with
women.)
GIRLS
And now please welcome... Hanover, Hardy, and Dixon!10 HOLIDAY INN
JIM
STEPPIN’ OUT WITH MY BABY
TED
CAN'T GO WRONG CAUSE I’M IN RIGHT.
JIM & TED
ASK ME WHEN WILL THE DAY BE.
THE BIG DAY MAY BE TONIGHT!
TED
HERE SHE COMES, DOWN THE STREET
(IED points to the entering LILA DIXON, a dolled-up showgirl with bright eyes and long
legs.)
JIM
MY, OH MY, AIN'T SHE SWEET?
TED
WHY, HERE COMES MY HOT TODDY
JIM
OVER MY DEAD BODY
I'LL CAPTURE HER HEART SINGING
TED
JUST WAIT UNTIL SHE GETS A LOAD OF MY DANCING
JIM
JUST WAIT TILL I START SINGING
TED
I'LL TAKE HER STROLLING DOWN THE ROAD WITH MY DANCING
JIM
ICAN’T GO WRONG
ATENDER SONG
AND SHE'LL DISCOVER MY CHARMSHOLIDAY INN "11
TED
SOME FANCY TAPS
AND SHE'LL COLLAPSE
AND FALL RIGHT INTO MY ARMS
JIM
(To LILA.)
I'LL TAKE YOU THROUGH LIFE SINGING
TED
OH NO YOU HAVEN'T A CHANCE
WHEN I—
(TED shows off his tap dancing skills.)
GO INTO MY DANCE
LILA
(To IM.)
IF YOU COULD DANCE INSTEAD OF SING
I'D LEARN TO LOVE YOU SOMEHOW
(To TED.)
IF YOU COULD SING INSTEAD OF DANCE
I'D TAKE YOU HOME WITH ME NOW...
GIM dances with LILA.)
JIM
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOO DAH DOO DAH DOO DAH
(TED dances with LILA.)
JIM & LILA
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOO DAH DOO DAH DOO DAH
(In an increasing tug-of war for LILA’s affections, TED tap dances and JIM scats, getting
so caught up in the competition that they do not notice LILA leaving with another MAN.)
JIM & TED
AND THEN WE'LL START A ROMANCE!
OH, NO YOU HAVEN'T A CHANCE,12 HOLIDAY INN
TED & JIM
WHEN I GO INTO MY
DANCE/SONG
ASK ME WHEN WILL THE DAY BE
THE BIG DAY MAY BE TONIGHT
IMUSIC 2A: “STEPPIN’ OUT PLAYOFF”]HOLIDAY INN = 13,
Scene Two
Lila’s Dressing Room, Backstage at the Cat's Meow - Immediately Following
GIM knocks on LILA’s dressing room, ducks his head in.)
JIM
Happy closing, honey!
LILA
I can't believe we're closing. It feels like we just opened.
JIM
Because we did. It was a one-night gig.
LILA
I wish we could find something more permanent, you know? I don’t think I'll make it through
another dry spell like the one in March.
JIM
Lila...
LILA
‘And April.
JIM
Lila...
LILA
And 1945...
JIM
Lila... You won't have to.
(IM is now down on one knee, holding out a ring. LILA sees and gasps.)
Lila. It’s been two years of laughter and song and love. Will you marry me?
LILA
Oh, Jim! This is so exciting. I always pictured a church wedding but if we could get Camegie
Hall the Times would cover it.4
HOLIDAY INN
JIM
Well...
LILA
It won't be cheap. So you'll write a new show! New songs. A new booking with full houses
every night.
JIM
I was actually thinking we could fill a house of our own. A real house. With a real family.
LILA
(Looks at him, frozen.)
Whose family?
GIM produces a deed from his pocket.)
JIM
Lila, I finally did it, I bought a farm. With a farmhouse. In Connecticut.
LILA
Connecticut? We can’t leave New York. We can't just up and leave.
JIM
But Lila, we promised each other that when the gigs dried up we'd get out of show business
and live a normal life.
LILA
T’ve always wanted to be normal. After I’m famous.
[MUSIC 3: “THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE"]
JIM
Lila, we don't need alll that..
LILA
Says who?
JIM
JUST A LITTLE ROOM OR TWO
CAN MORE THAN DO
ALITTLE MAN AND WIFEHOLIDAY INN “15
‘THAT'S IF THEY'RE CONTENTED WITH
‘THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE
LIVING ON A LARGER SCALE
WOULD SOON ENTAIL
ALOT OF CARE AND STRIFE
WE COULD BE SO HAPPY WITH
‘THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE
(Then.)
We've played enough gigs in second-rate clubs with overheated dressing rooms and bad
plumbing.
LILA
(Can't disagree.)
Yeah.
JIM
Never knowing what comes nest. Or if anything comes next.
LILA
Yeah.
JIM
I want a real life. A simple life. A life with you.
(Sings.)
ALITTLE RAIN
ALITTLE SUN
ALITTLE WORK
ALITTLE FUN
‘ALITTLE TIME FOR LOVING
WHEN THE DAY IS DONE
(Then.)
I want to wake up in the morning and do an honest day’s work. I want to grow things.
LILA
Since when do we wake up in the morning?
JIM
AND A LITTLE THING THAT CRIES
FOR LULLABIES
COULD MAKE A MAN AND WIFE
TELL THE WORLD HOW MUCH THEY LOVE,
THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE
(They kiss. TED bursts in with their agent DANNY.)16 HOLIDAY INN
DANNY
Here they are!
TED
Jimmy, listen to this!
JIM
Great news, boys!
DANNY
How did you know?
LILA
How did you know?
TED
How did they know?
JIM
How did I know what?
TED
Danny just booked us for a six-week tour that ends at the Pump Room!
LILA
The Pump Room in Chicago?!
DANNY
No, the pump room in my Aunt Lipky’s basement. Yes, the Pump Room in Chicago!
TED
We'll be halfway to Hollywood!
LILA
This is thrilling! We'll need new routines!
TED
And a spotlight devoted to me.”
HOLIDAY INN 17
DANNY
And ten-percent devoted to me.
LILA
And new falsies devoted to me.
DANNY
You won't have time for all that. You're filling in for Red Skelton. He's laid up with kidney
stones.
LILA
That’s horrible. I'll have to write him a thank-you note.
DANNY
On the train! We're leaving tonight!
LILA
Tl telephone mother and tell her the big news!
JIM
Which big news?
(And LILA is gone.)
TED
“Which big news”?! Jim, have you not been listening?
JIM
‘Yes, that’s all I’ve been doing! But I have bigger news. Lila and I are getting married!
DANNY
Why would you get married?! You seem so happy.
TED
Jimmy, that’s great! You finally asked her!
JIM
And I want you to be my best man.18 HOLIDAY INN
TED
Of course! We'll do the bachelor party on the road.
JIM
We're not going on the road, buddy. Lila and I are finally getting out of show business.
TED
What?!
JIM
‘We are the proud new owners of the Mason Farm in Midville, Connecticut.
DANNY
Connecticut? Do you know what happens in Connecticut?
JIM
What?
DANNY
Nothing! You'll end up wearing plaid and repressing your feelings.
TED
Jim, how long have we been waiting for this? It could be our shot at the big time.
DANNY
Are you really going to walk out on your best friend here?
JIM
T'm not walking out on anyone. I'm walking into my new life. With Lila.
TED
But were a trio. We work together. That’s why we work.
DANNY
Yeah. You can't just take one wheel off a tricycle. You'll end up with a—never mind.
JIM
Listen Ted, you'll always be my best friend, but this is where the road divides for us. We can’t
come with you. I'm sorry.HOLIDAY INN. "19
LILA
(Entering,)
Mother's thrilled and so am I!
JIM & TED
Great, so you're ready to go?
ULA
Jim, darling. Opportunities like this only come along once in a lifetime.
JIM
As opposed to marriage proposals?
LILA
Exactly! Come on, it’s only six weeks.
JIM
But we have to be in Midville tomorrow, Listen, Lila, I got this place for a steal. The bank
needs us to sign papers and take ownership or it goes back to auction. I don’t want to lose this
place.
DANNY
Okay, so...how ’bout if you go claim the farm and let Teddy take Lila to Chicago?
TED
But then it’s just the two of us—
(Realizes to himself.)
—that's perfect. All the focus will be on me!
LILA
Hey!
TED
Onus!
LILA
It makes sense, Jim. I'll do this last gig and then join you at the end of the summer with a few
extra paychecks to feather the nest.
(Beat.)20 HOLIDAY INN
JIM
Six weeks.
(LILA kisses JIM.)
DANNY
Beautiful, That's settled. Come on, we gotta get going, I still have to buy your train tickets.
TED
See you soon, Jim, I'll miss you buddy!
JIM
You too, friend.
LILA
Bye doll-face!
JIM
Bye doll-face!
DANNY
Bye doll-face!
(LILA and TED rush off. DANNY follows.)
JIM
Safe travels!
[MUSIC 3A: “LITTLE THINGS TAG"]
(And they're gone. JIM holds up the deed to the farm, bolstering himself.)
JIM
WE COULD BE SO HAPPY...
(The DANCERS poke their heads in on their way out.)
STANLEY
Hey Jim, you and Lila coming to McHale's?aa
HOLIDAY INN 21
JIM
T'll be there, but Lila’s going out on the road with Ted.
DAPHNE
I don’t get it.
JIM
Danny booked a six-week tour and it was too good to turn down,
STANLEY
But not too good for you to turn down?
JIM
Guys, you're not gonna wanna hear this, but I'm through with performing.
(They all GASP.)
[MUSIC 4: “BLUE SKIES"]
JIM
1 REALLY THINK THAT BROADWAY
IS JUST A FALSE ALARM
DANCERS
What? / Stop talking crazy, Jim?! (ete.)
JIM
Tknow,
(Sings.)
IT’S JUST A GREAT BIG FRAUD-WAY
COMPARED TO A FARM
ALOT OF FOLKS MAY LIKE IT
BUT I COULD NOT AGREE,
IT MAY BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM
BUT NOT FOR ME...
DAPHNE
(Sweetly incredulous.)
What could be better than Broadway?
JIM.
BLUE SKIES
SMILING AT ME22
HOLIDAY INN
JIM
NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES
DOISEE
(Then.)
How would you all like to make a contribution to the Fresh Air Fund? All you have to do is help
me move to Midville, Connecticut.
(Sings.)
BLUE DAYS
ALL OF THEM GONE
NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES
JIM & MEN
NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES
WOMEN
NOTHING BUT
ALL
BLUE SKIES
JIM
FROM NOW ONws
HOLIDAYINN 23
Scene Three
Mason Farmhouse (Outside) - Midville, Connecticut
(They arrive at the farmhouse where an assembly line of boxes, suitcases, and furniture
is catapulted across the stage from a flatbed truck.)
DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE)
NEVER SAW THE SUN SHINING SO BRIGHT
NEVER SAW THINGS GOING SO RIGHT
NOTICING THE DAYS HURRYING BY
WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE
MY HOW THEY FLY
(Dance break.)
Mason Farmhouse (Inside)
(The DANCERS help JIM unpack into his new Connecticut home as the set flies in around
them.)
JIM
Anything marked show business goes into storage in the barn.
(Sings.)
1 SHOULD CARE IF THE WIND BLOWS EAST OR WEST
(To STANLEY.)
That goes in the bedroom.
(Sings.)
I SHOULD FRET IF THE WORST LOOKS LIKE THE BEST
STANLEY
Which one? You've got fifteen!
JIM
Pick one!
(Sings.)
1SHOULD MIND IF THEY SAY IT CAN’T BE TRUE
(DAPHNE finds / holds up a skunk)
Whoa, outside!24 HOLIDAY INN
JIM
I SHOULD SMILE
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'LL DO
(Into phone.)
Operator. Get me the Franklin Hotel in Omaha. Miss Lila Dixon. Oh, she’s not? Then take
down this message. It should read as follows:
JIM. DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE)
BLUE SKIES BLUE... BLUE SKIES
SMILING AT ME NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES
SMILING AT ME AHHHHHH...
NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES
DOISEE
NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES DO I SEE
ALL
BLUE DAYS, ALL OF THEM GONE
NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES
NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES
NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES
FROM NOW ON!
[MUSIC 4A: “BLUE SKIES PLAYOFF"]
JIM
‘Thank you guys, see you soon. Expect fresh produce at your door.
DANCERS
NOTHING BUT BLUE SKIES FROM NOW ON!
(The DANCERS exit, the last one slamming the door behind them. The doorbell rings.)
JIM
What's the matter? Did you miss me already?
(He opens the door. It’s not the dancers. It’s CHARLIE WINSLOW, ‘en going on forty, armed
with a messenger bag from Midville Bank € Trust.)
CHARLIE
Special delivery for Mr. Hardy.
JIM
And who are you?HOLIDAY INN 25
CHARLIE
Charlie Winslow, Midville Bank and Trust.
JIM
Really? Are you in finance or lending?
CHARLIE
Collections.
(CHARLIE hands over a manila envelope that weighs 5lbs.)
Your back taxes.
JIM
Oh, nobody said anything about—
(THUMP. CHARLIE hands over another heavy manila envelope.)
CHARLIE
Water bill, electric bill, gas bill, and your first mortgage payment. Welcome to the
neighborhood.
JIM
You got any good news, Mr. Winslow?
CHARLIE
I work for a bank. What do you think?
JIM
Tthink...
(And he’s gone. The slam of the door causes the house to instantly come apart. Curtains
(fall, shelves drop, pipes come loose, the railing pops off the stairs. JIM is stunned.)
Apparently I work for a bank now too.
(The doorbell rings again.)
Who now, the LR.S?
(It’s LINDA MASON, a smart, spirited schoolteacher.)
Oops. Oh. Hi.
(LINDA tries to keep it all business.)26 HOLIDAY INN
LINDA
‘Mr. Hardy?
JIM
Do we know each other?
LINDA
I know who you are.
JIM
Oh, you've seen my act?
LINDA
Ive seen the foreclosure papers. I'm Linda Mason.
JIM
As in... Mason Farm?
LINDA
Yes. I was wondering if I could pick up a few things I left behind.
JIM
Oh. Of course. Please come in.
(LINDA enters.)
LINDA
before I finished moving out, and—
ing room.)
‘Thanks. The bank padlocked the hou
(She looks at the dismantled li
Llove what you've done with the place.
JIM
Yeah, I have my work cut out for me.
LINDA
That looks just like our old piano.
JIM
Oh, do you play?HOLIDAY INN "27
(She starts toward a painting of her grandmother.)
LINDA
Not for years... Would you mind giving me a hand with this painting?
JIM
Of course! It’s funny, I figured Eleanor Roosevelt came with the house.
LINDA
‘That was my grandmother.
JIM
(immediately.)
She was so beautiful.
LINDA
She and my grandfather built this place right after they were married,
JIM
And I can tell they put a lot of love into it.
LINDA
‘They certainly did...
JIM
T'm sorry. This must be very emotional for you.
LINDA
(Stiff upper lip.)
It'd be pretty silly to get emotional over a piece of real estate, Mr. Hardy.
JIM
Oh, I don't know. I got pretty emotional moving in just now.
LINDA
Yes, I heard you singing about it.
JIM
Ttend to do that. Listen, are you sure you're okay with all this?28 HOLIDAY INN
LINDA
Absolutely. Time marches on, and so do I.
JIM
Tlike that.
[MUSIC 5: “MARCHING ALONG WITH TIME"]
LINDA
(Sings.)
THIS WORLD OF OURS IS EVER-CHANGING
‘THE HANDS OF TIME KEEP REARRANGING
WITH EVERY CHANGE I'M RIGHT ON THE BEAT
WON'T LET THE GRASS GROW UNDER MY FEET
1’M MARCHING ALONG WITH TIME
LL BE MARCHING FROM TIME TO TIME
FOR I'M NOT GONNA LET THE PARADE GO BY
YOU KNOW THAT TIME MARCHES ON AND SO DOL
(LINDA removes various items from the walls and shelves.)
ONE DAY I CHANGED MY HORSE
FOR A MOTOR AND NOW OF COURSE
TLL BE CHANGING MY CAR
FOR A PLANE TO FLY
YOU KNOW THAT TIME MARCHES ON,
AND SO DOI
THERE'LL BE A CHANGE IN MUSIC.
A CHANGE IN RHYTHM
JIM
A CHANGE IN DANCING
LINDA
BUT I'LL BE RIGHT WITH 'EM
WATCH ME AND YOU WILL FIND
THAT I JUST WON'T BE LEFT BEHIND
FATHER TIME MARCHES ON WITH HIS HEAD UP HIGH
AND SO DOI.
JIM & LINDA
‘THERE'LL BE A CHANGE IN MUSIC.
(THERE'LL BE A CHANGE IN MUSIC)
ACHANGE IN RHYTHMHOLIDAY INN. 29.
(A CHANGE IN RHYTHM)
A CHANGE IN DANCING
(A CHANGE IN DANCING)
LINDA
BUT LL BE RIGHT WITH "EM
JIM
YOU'LL BE RIGHT WITH EM.
(LINDA and JIM alternate playing the piano, finding some synchronicity.)
JIM & LINDA
MARCHING ALONG WITH TIME
I'LL BE MARCHING FROM TIME TO TIME,
FOR I'M NOT GONNA LET THE PARADE GO BY
YOU KNOW THAT TIME MARCHES ON AND SO DOI!
JIM
Wow. Forward-thinking. Independent. You sound like a real New Yorker.
LINDA
I was a New Yorker. Briefly.
JIM
Really? What happened?
LINDA
tried to make it there as a performer when I was young, but... well, you know how that story
goes.
JIM
Not until you tell it to me.
LINDA
Oh, it’s nothing—my father woke up one day to find that my mother had left. She ran off with
the Fuller Brush salesman.
JIM
Isee.30 HOLIDAY INN
Teft New York to come back and take ea
passed away I just... couldn't keep up.
». After he
ever sin
(Music resumes.)
JIM
I'm sorry. Did you ever think about giving performing another shot?
LINDA
No, that was another time, Mr. Hardy. I teach school now. I have a simple life but... I'm happy.
JIM
Funny. That's exactly what I'm after.
LINDA
Well I should get going back to my... efficiency apartment.
(She grabs all her things.)
JIM
Let me give you a hand with all that.
LINDA
Tm all right Mr. Hardy. You have your hands full with the house already. I almost forgot, if you
ever need any help around here, I know the perfect person.
JIM
‘That would be great, send them right over.
(DING-DONG.)
‘That was fast.
(IM opens the door to,find LOUISE. She enters carrying a tool bag and a suitcase.)
LOUISE
Louise Badger, fix it man.
JIM
Jim Hardy, how did you—HOLIDAY INN “34
LOUISE
was standing outside waiting for my cue, It’s good to be home.
JIM
Home?
LOUISE
lived on this property twenty-plus years.
LINDA
Louise was our caretaker and part of the family.
LOUISE
Whoa. Gone one month and the place falls apart. You're going to need me around the clock. ll
go unpack.
JIM
Oh, I can't hire someone full time until we have a crop to sell.
LOUISE
Not a problem. Happy to take my salary in room and board. But no funny business.
LINDA
‘Well, I'll let you two get to work.
JIM
You know, if its all right with you, I’ like to keep the name “Mason Farm.’ It has a certain ring
to it,
LINDA
‘That's very kind of you, Mr. Hardy. Thank you.
JM
Please, call me Jim.
LINDA
Goodbye Louise.
LOUISE
T'll swing by to check on you later.32 HOLIDAY INN
LINDA
Don't worry about me Lou, just take care of the house and Mr. ... Jim.
JIM
So long.
(LINDA goes. JIM watches her go for a beat.)
LOUISE
Pretty cute, huh?
JIM
(Busted.)
Yes. I mean no. I mean she is. I mean... [have a fiancée.
LOUISE
A fiancée? Where the heck is she?HOLIDAY INN 33
Scene Four
Nightclubs, The Midwest / The Farmhouse
[MUSIC 6: “HEAT WAVE”]
(The stage at a nightclub in Omaha. Fanfare.)
ANNOUNCER (RECORDED W/O)
Ladies and gentleman,
(Fanfare.)
the Turf Lounge of Omaha is proud to present
(Fanfare.)
the red hot duo, Lila Dixon and ‘Ted Hanover!
(TED appears with the FULL ENSEMBLE.)
TED
AHEAT WAVE
BLEW RIGHT INTO TOWN LAST WEEK
SHE CAME FROM THE ISLAND OF MARTINIQUE
THE CAN-CAN SHE DANCES WILL MAKE YOU FRY
‘THE CAN-CAN IS REALLY THE REASON WHY
(LILA enters, « sexy siren pin up girl, making the men swoon.)
LILA
WERE HAVING A HEAT WAVE
A TROPICAL HEAT WAVE
‘THE TEMPERATURE'S RISING
ITISN’T SURPRISING
SHE CERTAINLY CAN CAN-CAN
The Farmhouse
GIM holds up a large sheet of graph paper.)
JIM
So according to my plan we should see a fresh crop by October:34
HOLIDAY INN
LOUISE
‘That's a little ambitious. What are you planning to grow?
JIM
T thought Td start with my favorite: bananas.
LOUISE
We're gonna need a new plan.
The Turf Lounge - Stage
(TED and LILA are joined by more dancers... things are getting bigger.)
TED & FEMALE DANCERS
SHE STARTED THE HEAT WAVE
(OH, SHE STARTED THE HEAT WAVE)
BY LETTING HER SEAT WAVE
(JUST BY LETTING HER SEAT WAVE)
TED
AND IN SUCH A WAY
‘THAT THE CUSTOMERS SAY THAT
TED & FEMALE DANCERS
SHE CERTAINLY CAN CAN-CAN
(Dance break.)
FEMALE DANCERS
SHE CERTAINLY CAN CAN-CAN
The Farmhouse (Outside)
GIM and LOUISE in the fields.)
JM
can't believe how long it takes to grow one simple parsnip.
LOUISE
‘Told ya it wouldn't be easy. The soil out here can be very unfriendly.HOLIDAY INN "35
JIM
Farming is a lot harder than it looks.
LOUISE
T'll say. Mr. Mason tried for fifty-five years.
JIM
“five years?! Then what?
LOUISE
He died.
The Starlight Room - Stage
(The Starlight Room in St. Louis. Lights brighter, costumes bolder, even more dancers.)
MALE DANCERS.
GEE!
ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentlemen!
MALE DANCERS
HER ANATOMY
ANNOUNCER
The Starlight Room in St. Louis...
MALE DANCERS,
MADE THE MERCURY
ANNOUNCER
Brings you Ted Hanover...
MALE DANCERS:
JUMP TO NINETY-THREE
ANNOUNCER
And the red-hot Lila Dixon!36
HOLIDAY INN
LILA
WE'RE HAVING A HEAT WAVE
TROPICAL HEAT WAVE
TED & MALE DANCERS
THE WAY THAT SHE MOVES THAT THERMOMETER
PROVES THAT
SHE CERTAINLY CAN CAN-CAN
The Pump Room - Stag
(The Pump Room in Chicago. The ultimate venue. The performance is a total show-
stopper... biggest and best yet.)
ANNOUNCER
Welcome to The Pump Room! Bringing you the red-hot act that’s taking the Windy City by storm!
MALE DANCERS
SO HOT,
ARECORD'S BEEN MADE
FEMALE DANCERS
WE'LL FRY IN THE SHADE
ANNOUNCER
Live on the Lake Shore. It's Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon.
LILA & TED
YES, WE'RE HAVING A HEAT WAVE
ATROPICAL HEAT WAVE
‘THE WAY THAT SHE MOVES THAT
‘THERMOMETER PROVES THAT
SHE CERTAINLY CAN CAN
LILA & TED MALE DANCERS
WERE HAVING A HEAT WAVE HOT! HOT! HOT! SO HOT!
A TROPICAL HEAT WAVE ARECORD’S BEEN MADE,
DANCERS
WE'LL FRY IN THE SHADE
AND IN SUCH A WAY THAT
‘THE CUSTOMERS SAY THAT
‘THE TEMPERATURES RISING
ITISN’T SURPRISINGHOLIDAY INN ‘37,
ALL
SHE CERTAINLY CERTAINLY CERTAINLY CERTAINLY CERTAINLY CAN CAN-CAN!
[MUSIC 6A: “HEAT WAVE PLAYOFF"]38 HOLIDAY INN
Scene Five
Behind the Barn, The Farm
(IM and LOUISE survey the farm land.)
JIM
Any signs of life?
LOUISE
Not over here.
JIM
T'm beginning to realize why this place was such a bargain.
LOUISE
A bargain? Rumor around town is you paid twice what it was worth.
JIM
LOUISE
‘Typical New Yorker.
GIM uproots a flaccid misshapen vegetable.)
JIM
Hang on a second. This is a perfectly respectable summer squash.
LOUISE
Except it’s a tomato. Look, you can call it whatever you want, as long as it impresses that
fiancée of yours.
(CHARLIE rides wp on his scooter.)
CHARLIE
Special delivery for Mr. Hardy!
GIM quickly stands behind LOUISE to hide.)HOLIDAY INN ‘39°
LOUISE
(Covers.)
Nope. Mr. Hardy’s not here. I guess you'll have to come back.
CHARLIE
He's right behind you.
LOUISE
‘That's just my winter weight.
CHARLIE
(Playing along.)
‘Ah. Then you'll have to be the one to give Mr. Hardy this past due notice on the mortgage. We
do offer a thirty-day grace period before penalties begin to accrue.
LOUISE
How kind.
CHARLIE
Unfortunately it’s been forty days. But we don't like to see folks hurting. So I'll keep coming
back to check in. You take good care now.
(CHARLIE scooters off.)
LOUISE
‘That kid is definitely going to be in government one day.
LILA (OS)
Jim? Jim?!
GQIM turns to see LILA coming up the road. She's dressed to the nines, fur hat, designer
shoes.)
JIM
Lila?
LILA
(Swatting the bugs away.)
Ew, Ew. Ew.
(Then, to JIM.)
Surprise!40 HOLIDAY INN
(They kiss.)
JIM
You're two days early!
LILA
‘And overdressed.
JIM
‘You look like a movie star.
LILA
And you look like a farmer!
JIM
‘That's ‘cause I am, At least I'm trying to be. With some help from Louise here. She’s—
LOUISE
At your service!
(She stands next to him with the pitchfork.)
LILA
You two are adorable. Like in that painting with the unhappy old people.
LOUISE
Tl go get your bags!
LILA
Oh, you really don't have to—
LOUISE
Thave to do everything.
(LOUISE ewvits.)
JIM
It’s so good to see you. Did you read the Farmer's Almanac I sent you?HOLIDAYINN 41
LILA
Every word. On the first page
JIM
‘That's all right, you've been busy. But I'm gonna teach you everything you need to know.
Starting right now.
(He hands her a hoe.)
LILA
Now?
IMUSIC 7: “IT’S A LOVELY DAY TODAY”]
LILA
But it’s about to rain.
JIM
Oh that's just a few passing clouds.
LILA
Tell that to my hair,
JIM
You have to look for the blue sky in between those clouds.
(Sings.)
IT'S A LOVELY DAY TODAY
SO WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT TO DO
YOU'VE GOT A LOVELY DAY TO DO IT IN
LILA
‘THAT'S TRUE
(As they sing, they farm / dance with the hoes.)
JIM
AND I HOPE WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT TO DO.
IS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DONE BY TWO.
LILA
‘THOUGH I'D REALLY LIKE TO STAY...
(Then.)42
HOLIDAY INN
LILA
Jim, I want to tell you—
JIM
IT’S A LOVELY DAY TODAY
LILA
That's adorable!
JIM
SO WHATEVER WE'VE GOT TO DO
I'D BESO HAPPY TO BE DOING IT WITH YOU
LILA
BUT IF 'VE GOT SOMETHING
THAT MUST BE DONE
AND IT CAN ONLY BE DONE BY ONE,
THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO SAY
JIM
EXCEPT IT’S A LOVELY DAY FOR SAYING
JIM & LILA
IT'S A LOVELY DAY
(IM sneaks up behind LILA with the wheelbarrow loaded with burlap sacks. LILA falls
into the wheelbarrow, but still manages to look fabulous.)
JIM
Your chariot awaits.
LILA
Td prefer a Buick, but okay—
JIM
IT'S A LOVELY DAY TODAY
IF YOU’VE SOMETHING THAT MUST BE DONE
DON'T FORGET TWO HEADS ARE BETTER
THAN JUST ONE!
LILA
BUT PERHAPS WHATEVER I'VE GOT TO DO
IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE DONE BY YOUHOLIDAY INN 43
JIM
DONE BY TWO IF IT IS THEN YOU COULD—
LILA
Jim.
(The music stops.)
I'm sorry. I can’t do this.
(The music resumes.)
T've been trying to tell you since I got here, but you seem so... happy:
JIM
Tam. You should try it. It’s a pleasant sensation.
LILA
(Deadly honest and intimate.)
So is performing. And I can't just walk away like you did. I know myself. I can live with a lot
of things, but I can't live out here with all these vegetables. Anyway, Ted and I just got booked
into a swanky new room in Las Vegas. Can you believe it? Las Vegas. It's a dream come true.
JIM
But this was our dream.
LILA
Your dream, Jim. Not mine.
JIM
You came all the way here to tell me this?
LILA
T wanted to tell you in person.
JIM
That was nice of you.
LILA
Tknow.
(She gives him back the ring, hugs him.)
I'm sorry, Jim.44 HOLIDAY INN
JIM.
Can I at least drive you to the train?
LILA
The cab’s waiting for me around the corner.
(Music out.)
Good luck, Jim. I mean that.
(The music resumes: LILA grabs her handbag and goes. LOUISE returns.)
LOUISE
She didn’t have any bags.
JIM
Iknow.
(LOUISE gently approaches JIM, trying to comfort him.)
LOUISE
IT'S A LOVELY DAY TODAY
AND WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT TO DO
I'D BE SO HAPPY TO BE DOING IT WITH YOU
(A huge thunder clap and lightning bolt. Rain pours down. LOUISE pulls out a rain hat
she has at the ready and puts it on IM.)
JIM & LOUISE
IT'S ALOVELY DAYHOLIDAY INN “45,
Scene Six
KENO Radio Studios, Las Vegas
IMUSIC 8: “PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR"
(A line of FEMALE DANCERS enters, dressed as sexy turkeys.)
FEMALE CHORUS
GOBBLE! GOBBLE!
MALE CHORUS:
(Entering dressed as dancing pilgrims.)
GOBBLE! GOBBLE!
ALL
PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL (THAT'S RIGHT!)
THERE'S PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL (TONIGHT!)
THERE'S PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL
PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR
ANNOUNCER
Live from Las Vegas, this is the K-E-N-O Thanksgiving Musical Cavalcade, with Ted Hanover
and Lila Dixon, brought to you by Optrix Eye Lotion and Benzel Sinus Spray. Relief you'll be
thankful for!
(TED and LILA enter, decked out like stars.)
TED
I'VE GOT PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR
I HAVEN'T GOT
AGREAT BIG YACHT
‘TO SAIL FROM SHORE TO SHORE
STILL I'VE GOT PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR
I'VE GOT PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR
FEMALE CHORUS
YES, SIR, HE’S GOT A LOT!
TED, LILA & FEMALE CHORUS.
NO PRIVATE CAR (NO!)
NO CAVIAR (NO!)
NO CARPET ON MY FLOOR (OH NO!)46 HOLIDAY INN
FEMALE CHORUS
BUT HE HAS GOT.
TED, LILA & FEMALE CHORUS
PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR
TED
... Like you, girls! Have I mentioned I'm grateful for ya?
FEMALE CHORUS
Gee, Teddy, thanks!
TED
I'VE GOT EYES TO SEE WITH
LILA FEMALE DANCERS
‘Thanks to Optrix, the eye lotion made with ooH
science. OOH!
TED
EARS TO HEAR WITH
LILA FEMALE DANCERS
Thanks to Benzel, the nasal spray made with OOH
amphetamines! wow!
TED
LIPS TO KISS WITH
LILA
SOMEONE TO ADORE
TED
HOW COULD ANYBODY ASK FOR MORE?
FEMALE CHORUS
HOW COULD HE?
WHY WOULD HE?HOLIDAY INN 47
TED
MY NEEDS ARE SMALL
1 BUY THEM ALL.
AT THE FIVE-AND-TEN CENT STORE,
FEMALE CHORUS
NEAR YOU!
TED
T'VEGOT
LILA
HE'S GOT
ALL
WE'VE GOT
PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR!
PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR!
IMUSIC 8A: “PLENTY PLAYOFF"]
ANNOUNCER
‘Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon ladies and gentlemen! Stick around if you know what's good for
you. We'll be speaking with them later on in the program.48 HOLIDAY INN
Scene Seven
Linda's Apartment - Thanksgiving 1946
(In her small studio apartment, LINDA is on the phone while setting a Thanksgiving
dinner for one [a cheese sandwich].)
LINDA
(Into phone.)
Don't worry about me Lou, I'm having a big Thanksgiving. Of course, I've got guests over.
The neighbors... You don't know them. Listen, I have to grab the turkey before it dries ou
gobble gobble to you too. Bye, Louise.
(She hangs up.A buzzat the door. LINDA is frozen. Who could that be? This is Thanksgiving
for one.)
Hello.
CHARLIE
(Behind the door.)
Hi, Miss Mason, it’s Charlie Winslow!
(She opens it to find CHARLIE, the messenger kid.)
LINDA
Charlie! Come on in, To what do I owe the pleasure?
CHARLIE
Happy Thanksgiving.
(CHARLIE hands over an apple pie.)
LINDA.
‘An apple pie! How sweet of you to think of me.
CHARLIE
I'm just the messenger. It's from my parents. They feel sorry for you.
LINDA.
Sorry for me?HOLIDAY INN “49
CHARLIE
You know, because you're all alone. On Thanksgiving. No family. No children. No prospects.
LINDA
Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson. We just read it. Remember how he starts?
CHARLIE
“Man is his own star.”
LINDA
Exactly. I like being independent and level-headed.
CHARLIE
My mom calls that a spinster.
[MUSIC 8B: “PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR (REPRISE)”]
LINDA
Charlie, I am perfectly fine. I've got plenty to be thankful for.
MY TINY FLAT
WAS FURNISHED AT
THE FIVE-AND-TEN-CENT STORE
STILLT'VE GOT PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR
CHARLIE
Like what?
LINDA
I'VE GOT EYES TO SEE WITH...
CHARLIE
Oh, like the song on the radio.
(Sings.)
EARS TO HEAR WITH
LINDA
You were listening.50 HOLIDAY INN
CHARLIE
ARMS TO HUG WITH
LIPS TO KISS WITH
(Then.)
I guess it is okay to be all alone, then. You get to eat the whole pie by yourself.
LINDA
Yep.
CHARLIE
No one to share it with.
LINDA
Yep.
CHARLIE
No one to tell you when you've had enough.
LINDA
Yep.
CHARLIE
Or save you when you're choking.
LINDA
Okay. Lesson’s over.
CHARLIE
Swell. Enjoy the pie, Miss Mason!
LINDA
Goodbye, Charlie,
IMUSIC 8C: “MARCHING ALONG WITH TIME (REPRISE)"]
(CHARLIE runs. LINDA closes the door. Sits down at her table.)
LINDA
‘THERE'LL BE A CHANGE IN MUSIC
ACHANGE IN RHYTHM
ACHANGE IN DANCING
BUT TLL BE RIGHT WITH EM.HOLIDAY INN. “57
(LINDA looks at the apple pie. She gets an idea. )
[MUSIC 8D: “RADIO TRANSITION")52 HOLIDAY INN
Scene Eight
KENO Radio Studios / The Farmhouse (Inside)
(On the soundstage, a RADIO QUARTET brings us back from a commercial break. At
the farmhouse, LOUISE sets a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner table. JIM is at the piano,
listening to the end of the radio broadcast.)
RADIO QUARTET
DAH DAH DAT DAH DAH DAT DAH DAH
DA DA DA DAH DAH DAH DOW,
AT THE K-E-N-O RADIO CAVALCADE,
‘THERE'S PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR!
RADIO HOST
Before we conclude our program for the evening, let’s take a moment to meet our stars, Ted
Hanover and Lila Dixon! Ted, are you looking to be a Romeo on the Vegas Strip, or is there a
special girl in your life?
TED
Every girl in my life is special.
LILA
But he only has one dance partner!
RADIO HOST
Lila, is there a lucky fella out there waiting for you this holiday season?
LILA
No, sir! I'm fancy-free and free for anything fancy.
DANNY
So get up close and personal at The Flamingo. We're almost sold out!
RADIO HOST
You heard it here first folks: Lila Dixon is single and looking. Bachelors beware! She’s a heart-
breaker! Next up on the K-E-N-O Radio Cavalcade, Susan the Yiddish-speaking spaniel...
(Theradio broadcast continues but LOUISE snaps off the radio. The soundstage disappears.)
LOUISE
Why are you torturing yourself?HOLIDAY INN “53
JIM
I believed her.
LOUISE
She's an actress. It's her job to fake it.
JIM
can't believe I let her string me along. Look at me. Failing at farming. All by myself in this big
house.
LOUISE
Well, that’s not technically true. But I'm willing to overlook it, given your current state of mind.
Come on, let me fix you a plate.
(LOUISE pours JIM a brandy.)
JIM
You know who I really miss?
LOUISE
Who?
aM
‘Ted. The old Ted.
IMUSIC 8E: “JIM & LOUISE UNDERSCORE”]
LOUISE
The Ted who took your fiancée on the road?
JIM
‘The Ted who used to be my best friend.
(Beat.)
‘We met at a casting call when we were both just starting out. I was so nervous, I could barely
speak, let alone sing. My audition tanked. I went to drown my sorrows at McHale's and
there was Ted, yucking it up with a circle of girls from the call. I finally picked myself up to
go congratulate him. “On what?" he said, “I didn’t get the gig, either. None of us did! Doesn't
mean we won't get the next one!” I couldn't believe it. What was he celebrating? You know
what he said? He said,
(Music out.)54 HOLIDAY INN
“Every now and then it’ a good idea to pa s
ended up having more fun that night than I'd had in a year. Ted just...he has a way of making
anyone feel good about anything. I wonder what happened to that guy.
LOUISE
If it makes you feel any better, you can call me Ted.
(The doorbell rings. LOUISE goes to answer it.)
LOUISE
Hmm, I wonder who that could be. What poor, lost soul is knocking on our door on
Thanksgiving Day?
(LOUISE answers it to find LINDA at the door, holding the apple pie. She's dressed
beanutifully.)
LOUISE
(Feigning surprise.)
Linda, what a surprise! What are you doing here?
LINDA
‘You told me I could come over—
LOUISE
How wonderful that you decided to pop in for a spontaneous unplanned visit!
LINDA
Hi, Jim,
JIM
Hi, Linda.
LINDA
Happy Thanksgiving. I wanted to... bring you this apple pie.
JIM
‘Wow, you baked me a pie?
LINDA
(Beat.)
Yes.mn
HOLIDAY INN 55
(Beat.)
LINDA
No. One of my students gave it to me. I'm assuming it's not poisoned.
JIM
Oh, well all the same, that’s very kind of you. Happy Thanksgiving.
LINDA
Happy Thanksgiving.
(LINDA waits for an invitation to come in, but doesn't get it.)
Actually, I should have said that I'm really here because I'm missing my s
check the barn?
JIM
Of course. You know the way.
LINDA
Yep. So. I'll just grab that spoon and get going.
(LOUISE appears out of nowhere.)
LOUISE
No! I mean. I'll go get it for you.
LINDA
Louise, you don’t need to—
LOUISE
Iwas just going out that way anyway to... feed the pig.
JIM
We have a pig?
LOUISE
Yes. Boris. He's a rescue.
(LOUISE races out in a,flash. JIM and LINDA are alone.)
JIM
You look lovely. Heading somewhere special tonight?56 HOLIDAY INN
LINDA
Just singing with the local choir.
JIM
I'm glad to hear that.
LINDA
I guess you reminded me how much I enjoy it.
JIM
Oh, I can't take any credit.
LINDA
You can take a little.
JIM
(Playing.)
Well, I don't mind if I do.
LINDA
(Playing along:)
Well, I think you should.
JIM
Well, okay.
LINDA
Okay.
(LINDA smiles, trying to make a moment here. Then, under her breath.)
LINDA
I see Louise has made her famous cranberry sauce. I miss that.
JIM
Listen, I'd really like to invite you to stay for dinner, but it's not the best timing.
LINDA
Oh. Of course.HOLIDAY INN 57
JIM
Lila called off our engagement.
LINDA.
Yes, I... heard it on the radio.
JIM
It's probably for the best.
LINDA.
I'm so sorry.
JIM
‘Thank you. But, I just think I'd be pretty terrible company tonight.
LINDA
Right. Me too.
JIM
You would?
LINDA
No. I wouldn't. I don’t know why I said that.
(He says nothing. She says nothing.)
Ijust mean
JIM
I just mean I...
(A long beat. Neither of them can find any more words.)
LINDA.
L.... should get going.
(LINDA goes
JIM
What about the serving spoon?
[MUSIC 9: “NOTHING MORE TO SAY”)58 HOLIDAY INN
The
rmhouse (Outside)
(LINDA walks back toward home.)
LINDA
FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE LEFT
WITH NOTHING MORE TO SAY
SUDDENLY YOU FIND
YOU SHOULD BE ON YOUR WAY
FUNNY HOW YOU LONG FOR SOME EXCUSE
TO REMAIN AWHILE BUT IT’S NO USE
THE CONVERSATION ENDS
AND YOU'VE NOTHING MORE TO SAY
FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE LEFT
WITHOUT A THOUGHT ON YOUR MIND.
FUNNY WHEN YOU SEARCH FOR WORDS
YOU NEVER CAN FIND
GONE ARE THE PRETTY SPEECHES
THAT YOU PLANNED FOR YOUR LUCKY DAY
FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE LEFT
WITH NOTHING MORE TO SAY
WHEN YOUR MOMENT COMES TO AN END
WHAT GOOD IS PRETENDING
GONE ARE THE PRETTY SPEECHES THAT
YOU PLANNED FOR YOUR LUCKY DAY
FUNNY WHEN THE WORDS
NO LONGER COME YOUR WAY
FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE LEFT
WITH NOTHING MORE TO SAY
(LINDA continues toward home.)
[MUSIC 9A: “TRANSITION TO CHRISTMAS”]HOLIDAY INN 59
Scene Nine
The Farmhouse (Inside) - Christmas Eve 1946
GIM wheels LOUISE around on a ladder as she tries to attach a star to the top of their
Christmas tree. It's a farr reach.)
JIM
Louise, I still don’t understand why we need a Christmas tree.
(Music out.)
LOUISE
Stop arguing, I need to focus.
JIM
What's the point? It’s just the two of us, It’s not like we have an actual family here.
LOUISE
Families come in all shapes and sizes.
JIM
Do we really need the star?
LOUISE
Of course we do. My father was Jewish.
(She reaches into her box of ornaments, pulls out a Star of David. LOUISE reaches with
effort to place the star at the top of the tree.)
JIM
‘This tree is going to look pretty sad with only two presents under it...
LOUISE
Come on, give me a boost.
JIM
And if I don’t come up with some sort of miracle plan in the next two weeks the place is going
back into foreclosure...
(LOUISE sticks the star on a random spot on the tree. Fail.)60 HOLIDAY INN
LOUISE
Close enough.
JIM
Too bad there's nobody here to enjoy it.
IMUSIC 9B: “A CAPPELLA VOICES”]
DANCERS (O.S.) (FULL ENSEMBLE)
HAPPY HOLIDAY...
(Voices, from offstage. Were they in JIM's imagination?)
JIM
What was that?
LOUISE
What was what?
DANCERS (O.S.) (FULL ENSEMBLE)
HAPPY HOLIDAY...
JIM
That!
DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE)
WHILE THE MERRY BELLS KEEP RINGING
MAY YOUR EVERY WISH COME TRUE!
(The DANCERS, just set free from smoggy Manhattan into the erisp country air, rush in...)
JIM
What are you guys doing here?!
STANLEY
We're here for you!
LOUISE
I figured you were in need of a little musical medication.HOLIDAY INN "61
DAPHNE
So we're here to fill the prescription.
IMUSIC 10: “SHAKING THE BLUES AWAY]
LOUISE
THERE'S AN OLD SUPERSTITION WAY DOWN SOUTH
EVERYBODY BELIEVES THAT TROUBLE WON'T STAY
IF YOU SHAKE IT AWAY
WHEN THEY HOLD A REVIVAL WAY DOWN SOUTH
EVERYBODY WITH CARE AND TROUBLE THAT DAY
TRIES TO SHAKE IT AWAY
(During the following production tap number, the DANCERS and LOUISE decorate the
tree and the house, getting IM pepped up. It’s as if they're putting on a show for him, and
he joins in.)
LOUISE (Contid.)
SHAKING THE BLUES AWAY
UNHAPPY NEWS AWAY
IF YOU ARE BLUE,
IT'S EASY TO
SHAKE OFF YOUR CARES AND TROUBLES,
‘TELLING THE BLUES TO GO
THEY MAY REFUSE TO GO
BUT AS A RULE,
THEY'LL GO IF YOU'LL
SHAKE "EM AWAY
DO LIKE THE VOODOOS DO
ISTNING TO A VOODOO MELODY
‘THEY SHAKE THEIR BODIES SO,
TO AND FRO
WITH EVERY SHAKE,
ALUCKY BREAK
PROVING THAT THERE'S A WAY
TO CHASE YOUR CARES AWAY
IF YOU WOULD LOSE
YOUR WEARY BLUES
SHAKE "EM AWAY
SHAKE "EM AWAY!
(Dance break.)
SAWYER
She's shakin’!
She's shakin’ too!62
HOLIDAY INN
(Unbeknownst to all, LINDA enters, with a fruitcake. She watches the stupendous
performance filling up her old house.)
JIM
Merry Christmas!
LOUISE, JIM & DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE)
DO LIKE THE VOODOOS DO
LIST'NING TO MELODY
LOUISE & JIM
THEY SHAKE THEIR BODIES SO
LOUISE, JIM & DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE)
TO AND FRO
LOUISE & JIM
WITH EVERY SHAKE, A LUCKY BREAK
LOUISE, JIM & DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE)
OOOHHH...
LOUISE JIM & DANCERS
WAH PROVING THAT THERE'S A WAY
WAH WAH WAH TO CHASE YOUR CARES AWAY,
CHASE YOUR CARES AND
IF YOU WOULD LOSE IF YOU WOULD LOSE
YOUR WEARY BLUES YOUR WEARY BLUES
SHAKE’EM AWAY SHAKE ’EM AWAY
ALL
SHAKE’EM AWAY
(The house is now fully decked-out in glittering Christmas cheer. They all applaud each
other, hugging, wiping the sweat from their brows.)
JIM
You know what, Louise? You're right! Life is way too short to sit around moping. I never want
to spend another holiday by myself.
LINDA
Yeah, neither do I!HOLIDAY INN. “63
(All turn to see LINDA standing in the doorway
iy. Embarrassed at her outburst, she
awkwardly turns toward the door, “Who said that?")
JIM
Linda! Merry Christmas. These are my friends. Friends, Linda. Linda, friends.
DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE)
Hi, Linda.
JIM
Linda grew up in this house. And I guess she still has a key.
LINDA
It was open. I'm here for the party.
JIM
How did you know we were having a party?
LOUISE
Well, I certainly didn’t invite her! It definitely wasn't me if that’s what you're thinking!
LINDA
You know, I used to put on shows just like that when I was a little girl, right here in this very
room.
JIM
Linda is a performer too!
LINDA
No, no, no, no, but I did force my whole family to watch and I charged admission.
(To LOUISE.)
What was it Louise, five cents a head?
LOUISE
Heaven knows we could use those funds.
STANLEY
Hey, if you charged half what they charged for tickets in Flatbush, you'd be in clover.64 HOLIDAY INN
JIM
(An idea sparks.)
‘Wait a minute... that’s it!
LOUISE
Of course it is.
JIM
Show business could be the solution!
DAPHNE
(Sweetly naive.)
Isn't that usually the problem?
JIM
Maybe not this time.
(To LOUISE.)
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
(LOUISE and JIM brainstorm with mounting excitement.)
LOUISE
‘You're a much better singer than you are a farmer...
JIM
You can build a stage...
LOUISE
You knowall these dancers...
JIM
‘The best hoofers in New York...
LOUISE
And together we could put on a show.
DAPHNE
You can charge for tickets!
LOUISE
Yes we already covered that, Daphne."x
HOLIDAY INN 65
JIM
But not just tickets. Rooms.
LOUISE
With all these bedrooms we could have a big—
LOUISE & JIM
—showplace hotel!
STANLEY
Hove it! But Jim, we can't just move out here.
‘STELLA
We're only free on the holidays.
JIM
fe work on the day
Okay. Then we'll only be open on the holidays vhen other people don't!
LOUISE
You'll write special songs for each one!
JIM
What do yon say, gang?
ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE)
(Wariously.)
Count me in! / Finally, a country house! / A home for the holidays.
BYRON
Hey Jim, mind if we make ourselves at home?
LOUISE
We've got fifteen rooms!
JIM
(Suddenly remembering.)
The heat’s still not working!66 HOLIDAY INN
LOUISE
(Punting.)
So grab extra blankets from the hall closet and everybody.
sleep together.
(The DANCERS are silent for a moment, considering the idea. Then all at once...)
ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE)
(Shrugging, happy for the opportunity.)
Okay! / Why not? / I can live with that.
(LOUISE leads them upstairs toward the bedrooms. As they exit, INDA and JIM are left
alone.)
LINDA
You're serious about this.
JIM
Absolutely.
LINDA
I thought you wanted out of show business.
JIM
I did. I do. But this is different. No New York. No rat race. And maybe it does take a little bit of
performing to live a normal life.
LINDA
‘That's certainly true.
JIM
Ihave no idea if it'll work but if 1 don’t do something the bank is gonna take this place back.
LINDA
(Wrapped up in the excitement.)
It’s a shame we're not open tonight.
JIM
We?HOLIDAY INN “67
LINDA
(Catching herself.)
Oh - I just mean that Christmas Eve would be a big draw.
JIM
It certainly would. And who says we can’t have our first rehearsal right now?
(JIM pulls some sheet music from the piano bench.)
LINDA
‘What's that?
JIM
Oh, an old Christmas song I wrote a few years ago and stuck in a drawer.
IMUSIC 11: “WHITE CHRISTMAS"
GIM plunks out the first phrase of the song on the piano. Thinking twice, he starts to put
it back.)
JIM
It needs work.
LINDA
I would love to hear it. Please.
JIM
I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS
JUST LIKE THE ONES I USED TO KNOW
WHERE THE TREE TOPS GLISTEN
AND CHILDREN LISTEN...
TO HEAR SLEIGH BELLS IN THE SNOW
I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS
WITH EVERY CHRISTMAS CARD I WRITE,
MAY YOUR DAYS BE MERRY AND BRIGHT
AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMASES BE WHITE,
(LINDA joins him, picking up on the words...)
JIM & LINDA
I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS
JUST LIKE THE ONES I USED TO KNOW68 HOLIDAY INN
JIM
(Teaching the lyrics.)
Where the tree tops glisten...
LINDA
WHERE THE TREE TOPS GLISTEN
JIM
And children listen...
LINDA
AND CHILDREN LISTEN...
JIM & LINDA
TO HEAR SLEIGH BELLS IN THE SNOW
LINDA
I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS
WITH EVERY CHRISTMAS CARD I WRITE,
JIM & LINDA
MAY YOUR DAYS BE MERRY AND BRIGHT.
AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMASES BE WHITE
JIM
See? You're a natural.
LINDA
I guess you can say I was feeling... inspired.
Gust as they are about to kiss, LOUISE bursts in on her way to the kitchen. When she sees
JIM and LINDA she doesn’t know what to do so she just keeps talking and walking.)
LOUISE
Oh! Hi, Don't mind me, some of the kids were feeling a bit peckish what with the train ride
from Grand Central and all the singing and dancing and decorating and garland-jumping, so
I thought T just duck into the pantry to grab that fruitcake you brought, Linda. Because ya
know what they say, a hungry dancer is a cranky dancer, and we've gotta keep—
(Throughout, LOUISE never stops talking or moving, goes into the kitchen, comes right
back out with the fruitcake.)
—our employees happy and satisfied. And like Louise always says, feed ’em and they'll love ya!
Anyway, I can see you two are busy, busy bees, so don’t let me interrupt you, I'm just gonna go
upstairs and eat this entire fruitcake by myself in shame. night!HOLIDAY INN 69
(LOUISE exits with the fruitcake.)
LINDA
Well. It’s getting late. Thank you for the song. And the company.
JIM
Ifyou really want to thank me, you'll join me on stage for our first show.
LINDA
Oh no, I haven't performed in years.
JIM
What could be more perfect than Linda Mason performing at the house she grew up in?
LINDA
T'm not ready for anything like—
JIM
I'll give you five cents.
LINDA
‘That's very generous of you.
JM
So?
LINDA
So... when's our first show?
JIM
I say we start with New Year's Eve.
LINDA
But that’s only a week away!
JIM
Piece of cake... for a natural.70 HOLIDAY INN
Scene Ten
Holiday Inn (Stage) - New Year's Eve 1946
(The brand new stage for the inaugural show at Holiday Inn.)
[MUSIC 12: “HOLIDAY INN / HAPPY HOLIDAY"]
ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE)
IF YOU'RE BURDENED DOWN WITH TROUBLE
IF YOUR NERVES ARE WEARING THIN
PACK YOUR LOAD DOWN THE ROAD
AND COME TO HOLIDAY INN
WOMEN (WOMEN ENSEMBLE)
IF THE TRAFFIC NOISE AFFECTS YOU
LIKE A SQUEAKY VIOLIN
KICK YOUR CARES DOWN THE STAIRS
ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE)
AND COME TO HOLIDAY INN!
IF YOU CAN'T FIND SOMEONE WHO WOULD SET YOUR HEART A-WHIRL
TAKE YOUR CAR AND MOTOR TO THE HOME OF BOY MEETS GIRL
MEN (MEN ENSEMBLE)
IF YOU'RE LAID-UP WITH A BREAKDOWN
WOMEN (WOMEN ENSEMBLE)
THROW AWAY YOUR VITAMIN
MEN (MEN ENSEMBLE)
DON'T GET WORSE
WOMEN (WOMEN ENSEMBLE)
GRAB YOUR NURSE,
ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE)
AND COME TO HOLIDAY INN.
GIM enters and addresses the crowd at Holiday Inn.)HOLIDAY INN 71
JIM
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first-ever performance at the first-ever Holiday Inn!
DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE)
HAPPY HOLIDAY
HAPPY HOLIDAY
WHILE THE MERRY BELLS KEEP RINGING
MAY YOUR EVERY WISH COME TRUE
DANCERS
HAPPY HOLIDAY JIM
HAPPY HOLIDAY
HAPPY HOLIDAY
HAPPY HOLIDAY
DANCERS & JIM
MAY THE CALENDAR KEEP BRINGING
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU!
(LOUISE enters.)
LOUISE
IF YOU'RE BURDENED DOWN WITH TROUBLE,
IF YOUR NERVES ARE WEARING THIN
JIM & LOUISE
PACK YOUR LOAD DOWN THE ROAD ALL
AND COME TO HOLIDAY INN HAPPY HOLIDAY
, HAPPY HOLIDAY
HAEPY HOLIDAY TO YOU! HAPPY HOLIDAY TO YOU!
(After the applause, JIM grabs the mic.)
JIM
‘Thank you, Connecticut! I would now like to bring up to the stage one of the reasons we're all
here. An original Mason from Mason Farm... please welcome, Miss Linda Mason!
IMUSIC 12A: “LINDA'S FANFARE"]
(Applause. LINDA shyly makes her way up on stage.)
LINDA
Thank you. I don’t know what to say. Except that I'm grateful that my home is filled with
laughter and light again. And I know my father would be too.72 HOLIDAY INN
JIM
I think it’ only fitting that Linda sing in our first show.
(To CONDUCTOR.)
Maestro.
[MUSIC 13: “LET'S START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT”]
(LINDA hesitates, takes a deep breath, gathering courage. A shaky start, but she gains
confidence as she sings, blossoming into the talent that she was and is.)
LINDA
ONE MINUTE TO MIDNIGHT
ONE MINUTE TO GO
ONE MINUTE TO SAY GOODBYE
BEFORE WE SAY HELLO
LET'S START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT
TWELVE O'CLOCK TONIGHT
WHEN THEY DIM THE LIGHT
LET'S BEGIN
KISSING THE OLD YEAR OUT
KISSING THE NEW YEAR IN
LET'S WATCH THE OLD YEAR DIE,
WITH A FOND GOODBYE
AND OUR HOPES AS HIGH AS A KITE,
HOW CAN OUR LOVE GO WRONG IF
WE START THE NEW YEAR—
(Just then, a crash as TED stumbles in from the audience, knocking right into waiters,
who drop their trays. Clearly drunk, he notices the audience.)
JIM
‘Ted?
TED
(Mumbles, drunkenly.)
I couldn't find the front door.
JIM
‘Ted Hanover, everybody! Ain't he a gas?
(To TED, under his breath.)
What are you doing here?HOLIDAY INN 73
TED
I came for your big opening!
CIED starts to fall off the stage. LOUISE saves him.)
LOUISE
Whoa there buddy, let’s get you a hot coffee.
(LOUISE ushers TED offstage.)
JIM
(Urgently, to LINDA and musicians.)
From the refrain! Maestro two, three—
(IM goes to look for TED.)
LINDA
LET'S WATCH THE OLD YEAR DIE
WITH A FOND GOODBYE
AND OUR HOPES AS HIGH AS A KITE
HOW CAN OUR LOVE GO WRONG IF
WE START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT?
(Then.)
Ladies and gentlemen, the Holiday Inn Dancers!
(Dance break. But just as the DANCERS start their routine, TED jumps back on stage and
takes over, tapping up a storm, a bottle of whiskey in his hands. He grabs LINDA...)
TED
Excuse me, Miss, would you care to cut a rug?
(To the mic as he knocks it over.)
Pardon me, sir.
LINDA
No, I can’t—
TED
Yes you can, I'm Ted Hanover!
(IED whisks LINDA into a drunken dance while the ensemble sings around them, slightly
confused at the change in choreography but gamely going along with it.)74 HOLIDAY INN
ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE)
AHHHH AHHHH AHHHHH
OOOHH OOOHH AH!
IM attempts to cut in and save LINDA, but TED steals her back. At the climax of the dance,
it's clear that TED and LINDA have perfect dance chemistry. The CROWD cheers them on
and TED plants a drunken kiss on LINDA.)
GIM taps TED on the shoulder.)
JIM
Excuse me,
GIM decks TED, who does a face-plant into the stage deck. LINDA runs away.)
JIM
Linda!
STANLEY
What do we do?!
LOUISE
Keep singing!
GIM runs off after LINDA.)
ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE)
LET'S WATCH THE OLD YEAR DIE
WITH A FOND GOODBYE
AND OUR HOPES AS HIGH AS A KITE,
HOW CAN OUR LOVE GO WRONG IF
WE START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT!
(A giant champagne bottle explodes as they welcome in 1947.)
END OF ACTIACTII
[MUSIC 14: “ENTRACTE"]
[MUSIC 14A: “OPENING ACT II"]
Scene One
Holiday Inn (Bedroom & Halls) - New Year's Day, 1947
(A clock ticks... TICK-TOCK-TICK-TOCK...)
(In an upstairs bedroom, TED bolts up in bed. He looks around, disoriented, hungover.)
TED
Where am I?
(LOUISE bolts up in bed newt to him.)
LOUISE
My bedroom.
TED
(Spooks.)
1
LOUISE
(Spooks.)
1
TED
Who are you?
7576 HOLIDAY INN
LOUISE
You don’t remember?
TED
Did we..
LOUISE
Not on your life, kid.
TED
(Grabs his head.)
‘There is a nasty game of pinball happening in my head.
LOUISE
‘That gallon of whiskey might have had something to do with it. Here, take these. Courtesy of
Mr. Bayer.
(She hands him some aspirin. JIM enters.)
JIM
Good morning. I hope you slept well. I didn't.
TED
Jim? Where am I?
JIM
My farm in Connecticut. You broke a window, tore the upholstery to shreds, and horrified our
guests.
TED
How humiliating. I'm in Connecticut?
JIM
Do you not remember last night?
TED
Let's see. I got a wire from Lila saying she was quitting the act, I remember that alll right.
JIM
Lila Dixon, quitting?HOLIDAY INN "77
TED
She landed a millionaire from Texas who promised to make her a star.
JIM
She finally got what she wanted.
TED
And I got ditched.
JIM
And then you got drunk.
TED
And then I got on a train to come see you.
JIM
And then?
TED
And then...I woke up in bed with...
(TED turns to LOUISE.)
LOUISE
Louise.
TED
Louise. Listen, buddy, whatever I did, I'm sorry.
JIM
Hey, I'm sorry you lost your dance partner.
TED
Yeah so am I. If T ever want to make it in Hollywood, I need a partner—wait a second. Did I
dance with somebody last night?
JIM
(Damn it.)
No.78 HOLIDAY INN
LOUISE
No.
TED
No, I did...she was perfect! Like we were connected.
JIM
You were pretty sauced last night. I'm not sure you—
TED
I knew there was a reason I came here! She's my new partner! She’ the girl I should be taking
to Hollywood!
(Beat.)
But who was she?
JIM
You don't remember. Remember?
TED
T remember a vague outline.
LOUISE
‘That was me.
(TED looks at LOUISE. LOUISE smiles, poses as a DANCER.)
TED
I don’t think that was the outline. But I'm sure I would know her if 1 danced with her again.
JIM
Come on, there are a million girls out there who'd be dynamite with you. What's that you
always say? Girls are like buses. Miss one and there'll be another in ten minutes.
LOUISE
Not in my experience.
TED
I'm not interested in any old bus. I’m interested in that bus.
[MUSIC 15: “YOU'RE EASY TO DANCE WITH"]—
HOLIDAY INN 79
JIM
Iwas going to suggest the next bus to New York.
TED
Tl dance with all the girls in your show until I find the one I'm looking for.
LOUISE
Start with me.
(Pulls him close.)
‘You never know.
CTED starts to dance with LOUISE, who is anything but graceful.)
TED
ICOULD DANCE NIGHTLY
JUST HOLDING YOU TIGHTLY, MY SWEET
LOUISE
Eyes up, fella.
TED
1 COULD KEEP RIGHT ON
BECAUSE YOU'RE SO LIGHT ON YOUR FEET
LOUISE
Iget that a lot.
(Sings.)
YOU'RE EASY TO DANCE WITH...
TED
Nope. Where are the other bedrooms, Jim?
(He runs into the hallway.)
JIM
Right this way!
TED
Wake up, girls! Who wants to be Ted Hanover's new dance partner?
(The GIRLS come running out oftheir rooms, giggling, and excited fora chance at stardom.)80 HOLIDAY INN
GIRLS (WOMENS ENSEMBLE)
THERE IS NO DOUBT IN
THE WAY YOU STAND OUT IN A CROWD
THOUGH IT’S CALLED DANCING
TO ME IT'S ROMANCING OUT LOUD...
GIRLS
TED (Sighing.)
YOU'RE EASY TO DANCE WITH AHH
LOVE YOU
THE WAYIDO
MAKES YOU EASY TO DANCE WITH
‘THAT IS WHY I'M ALWAYS RIGHT ON THE BEAT UHH
ALL THOSE CHARMS
IN ONE MAN'S ARMS
MAKE YOU EASY TO DANCE WITH
1 CAN HARDLY KEEP MY MIND ON MY FEET OOH
GIRLS (WOMENS ENSEMBLE)
LET'S DANCE FOREVER
COME ON, SAY WE'LL NEVER BE THROUGH
TED
IT’S SO EASY TO DANCE WITH YOU...
(IED makes his way through the house, searching high and low for the girl he danced with
on New Year's Eve, like Prince Charming testing each girl for the right shoe. Dance break.)
ROSE
TM EASY TO DANCE WITH!
TED
“A” for effort.
JANIE
(Sung by offstage baritone.)
1M EASY TO DANCE WITH!
TED
Dad?
SUSIE
I'M EASY TO DANCE WITH...HOLIDAY INN “81
BRENDA
TM EASY TO DANCE WITH...
HADLEY & DAPHNE
WE'RE EASY TO DANCE WITH...
Danee break.)
TED
Sorry, ladies. You're all marvelous, but whoever this girl is, she must have taken the early train.
I gotta go find her!
GIRLS
Awwwww!
(Sings.)
IT’S SO EASY TO DANCE WITH YOU...
DAPHNE
You're a peach.
TED
IT’S SO EASY TO DANCE.
GIRLS
EASY TO DANCE WITH YOU!
IMUSIC 15A: “EASY TO DANCE WITH PLAYOFF")82 HOLIDAY INN
Scene Two
Outside Midville Elementary School and Main Street - A few days later
GIM waits for LINDA as she exits the school carrying a briefcase. Throughout the scene
and song, TOWNFOLK pass by.)
JIM
Linda.
(LINDA turns and sees him. Wishes she didn't. Starts off...)
Linda, wait...I want to apologize for New Year's Eve, Are you doing all right?
LINDA.
Have you seen the front page of The Courier?
JIM
They canceled my subscription.
LINDA
‘The principal called me into his office. He's gotten more than a few phone calls from concerned
parents.
JIM
Oh yikes. I'm really sorry. It's all my fault—tell me what can I do to help?
LINDA
Let's just say that’s the extent of my show business comeback.
JIM
But you were sensational! Ted was the one who mucked it all up.
LINDA
And then you punched him.
JIM
I'm not proud of it, but Ted has a knack for taking away the women I care about. Look at what
happened with Lila. And now you.HOLIDAY INN ‘83
LINDA
Me?
(JIM pulls LINDA aside to speak privately, away from the PASSERSBY.)
JIM
Linda, unless I'm on some other planet, I thought you and I were finally getting to know each
other, And like each other.
LINDA
That's not...incorrect.
JIM.
Well I guess that’s why I'm here. To start a new chapter. Would you...like to go on a date?
LINDA
Adate?
JIM
That's normally how these things start.
LINDA
Tma little out of practice,
JIM
That makes two of us.
LINDA
What would we do?
JIM
We could go for a ride on my tractor.
[MUSIC 16: “LET'S TAKE AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK”)
LINDA
In January?
JIM
Tt’ invigorating,84 HOLIDAY INN
LINDA
Its refrigerating!
JIM
Oh come on, you're not afraid of a little cold, are you?
LINDA
I spend my days with ten year olds. I'm not afraid of anything,
uM
Except this date.
LINDA
Who says it’s a date?
uM
We don’t have to do anything fancy. We can take it one step at a time.
LINDA
What's the first step?
JIM
LET'S TAKE AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK
I'M JUST BURSTING WITH TALK
WHAT A TALE COULD BE TOLD IF WE WENT FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK
(They walk through the town and into the park...)
LET'S TAKE A STROLL THROUGH THE PARK
DOWN A LANE WHERE IT’S DARK
AND A HEART THAT'S CONTROLLED MAY RELAX ON AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK
I KNOW FOR A COUPLE WHO SEEMS TO BE MILES APART
‘THERE'S NOTHING LIKE WALKING AND HAVING A HEART-TO-HEART
LINDA
1 KNOW A GIRL WHO DECLINED
COULDN'T MAKE UP HER MIND
JIM
SHE WAS WRAPPED UP AND SOLD COMING
JIM & LINDA.
HOME FROM AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK™
HOLIDAY INN. 85
LINDA
SOME COUPLES GO FOR A BUGGY RIDE
WHEN THEY START CARING A LOT
JIM
OTHERS WILL BICYCLE SIDE-BY-SIDE,
OUT TO SOME ROMANTIC SPOT
LINDA
BUT WHEN YOU HAVEN'T A SOU
JIM
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO...
JIM & LINDA
LET'S TAKE AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK
I'M JUST BURSTING WITH TALK
WHAT A TALE COULD BE TOLD
IF WE WENT FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK!
WHAT A TALE COULD BE TOLD
IF WE WENT FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED WALK
(They kiss.)
JIM
Tve been wanting to do that since Christmas Eve.
LINDA
Me too.
JIM
Say what are you doing for Valentine's Day?
LINDA
Oh, just the usual. Dinner for one and a Russian novel.
JIM
How about dinner for two and a show at the Inn?
LINDA
As long as I'm in the audience.86 HOLIDAY INN
JIM
Come on, we'll build a whole number around you!
LINDA
It’s not right for a teacher to be mixed up in all this.
JIM
We'll give free tickets to all your students. And the concerned parents.
LINDA
(Beat, smiles.)
Allright.
JIM
All right?!
LINDA
Allright. Yes. I'll do it.
JIM
Rehearsals start tomorrow after school!
LINDA
It's a date.
JIM & LINDA
WHAT A TALE COULD BE TOLD
IF WE WENT FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED.HOLIDAY INN 87
Scene Three
Rehearsal Studio, New York City - February 1947
[MUSIC 17: “TED’S REHEARSAL (‘CHEEK TO CHEEK’)”]
(TED rehears
dances to “her!
a partner dance, only his partner is a ghost light on casters. He
TED
THEN WE'LL DO A CROSS BALL CHANGE
TLL SWEEP YOU IN A DIP
.»DANCE WITH ME
IWANT MY ARM ABOUT YOU
THE CHARM ABOUT—
DANNY
(Bursts in.)
Who? Who?! The charm about who?
TED
Hi Danny.
DANNY
You've got a Valentine's show tomorrow. You still haven't found a new partner?!
TED
Of course I have, meet Theresa.
DANNY
Ha ha ha. I'm laughing. Universal called.
TED
Universal?
DANNY
As in Hollywood.
TED
Oh my God!88 HOLIDAY INN
DANNY
‘They want to test you and Lila for a new picture.
TED
Finally! Hollywood. I'm gonna be a movie star!
DANNY
I didn’t want to tell him she went rogue, so I’m stalling. But I don't know how long I can hold
them off.
TED
Right, right....
DANNY
Ifyou don't have a girl, you don't have a chance.
TED
Ive looked all over the city. No one dances with me like that girl I found up at Jim’ place on
New Year's Eve.
DANNY
Then go back to Holiday Inn and look harder!
[MUSIC 17A: “TRANSITION TO ACT 2, SCENE 4”)HOLIDAY INN ‘89.
Scene Four:
Holiday Inn (Outside) - Valentine's Day 1947
(Outside, LINDA rushes up just as CHARLIE scooters up from the other direction, chomping
ona bag of licorice.)
LINDA.
Charlie, what are you doing here?
CHARLIE
Dropping off final notice from the bank. Mr. Hardy’s deep in the red and not in a festive
Valentine's way if you know what I mean. Why are you here?
LINDA
Well—
CHARLIE
Are you dating Mr. Hardy?
LINDA
Charlie—I'm here for rehearsal. For a show.
CHARLIE
Uh-huh, Because I saw you and Mr. Hardy together in the park once. And on Main Street. So
you can see how one might think that you're dating. Because you've been on a handful of dates.
LINDA
Define a handful.
CHARLIE
You're the teacher.
LINDA
‘Three. We've been on three dates.
CHARLIE
I thought you liked being independent.90 HOLIDAY INN
LINDA
I do! And I also like being in a relationship
CHARLIE
Oh, now it’s a relationship?
(LINDA fails to come up with a lie.)
LINDA
‘That's still up for review. But, I will make sure Mr. Hardy receives the notice. Thank you.
(LINDA stuffs the notice into her purse, then—)
Give me a piece of that.
[MUSIC 17B: “BEFORE ‘CAREFUL”]
(She takes a piece of his licorice and continues inside.)
Inn (Stage
(The Inn is abuzz with preparations for the Valentine's Day show. The DANCERS hang
hearts and doilies. At the piano, JIM is in the middle of composing a song, banging out
chords to a new song he's written [“Be Careful, It's My Heart”].)
(LOUISE enters, with a clipboard.)
LOUISE
Hey, watch it! I just had that tuned yesterday.
JIM
I know. I know. I'm sorry,
LOUISE
So what'd you get Linda?
JIM
For what?
LOUISE
Valentine's Day.
JIM
Oh. I didn’t. We agreed to take it one step at a time so I don’t want to put too much pressure
on her,HOLIDAY INN “91
LOUISE
If L were you, I'd put some pressure on those keys and play this song you've been writing for
her.
JIM
Who said I'm writing a song for Linda?
LOUISE
Your first draft was literally called “A Song for Linda”
JIM
Do you think it'll scare her away?
LOUISE
It's Valentine's Day, kid. Let her rip!
(LOUISE exits as LINDA enters. JIM hides the sheet music behind his back.)
LINDA
Hi! Sorry I’m late. I had papers to grade and there was snow to shovel and...all the excuses.
JIM
Oh it’s quite all right, we've been plenty busy here getting ready for tomorrow night.
LINDA
‘The place is going to look beautiful.
JIM
It certainly hope so.
LINDA
Ihave a confession to make.
JIM
What's that?
LINDA
I've never celebrated Valentine's Day.
JIM
What? I don't believe that.92 HOLIDAY INN
LINDA
Oh no, it’s true. The only Valentines I've ever gotten were doily hearts from my students.
JIM.
Oh darn it. I forgot to make one.
LINDA
Are you holding a doily behind your back?
JIM
No.
LINDA
Are you sure it’s not a doily?
JIM
T'm sure.
LINDA.
You don't have to be embarrassed if it’s a doily.
JIM
Please stop saying doily. I ~ wrote you a song.
GIM hands her the sheet music.)
LINDA
(Reads the title.)
“Be Careful, It’s My Heart”.
JIM
Lain't kidding, either.
GIM begins to play, teaching her the song.)
IMUSIC 18: “BE CAREFUL, IT'S MY HEART”]
JIM
SWEETHEART OF MINE,
I'VE SENT YOU A VALENTINE,
SWEETHEART OF MINE,HOLIDAY INN 93
IT'S MORE THAN A VALENTINE...
BE CAREFUL, IT'S MY HEART
NOT MY WATCH YOU'RE HOLDING
MY HEAR’
NOT THE NOTE I SENT YOU
YOU QUICKLY BURNED
IT'S NOT THE BOOK I LENT YOU
‘THAT YOU NEVER RETURNED...
(TED steps in and watches.)
LINDA
REMEMBER, IT’S MY HEART
‘THE HEART WITH WHICH SO WILLINGLY I PART.
JIM & LINDA
IT’S YOURS TO TAKE, TO KEEP OR BREAK
BUT PLEASE, BEFORE YOU START
BE CAREFUL, IT’S MY HEART
TED
HiJim,
JIM
‘Ted! You're back?
TED
Tm still looking for that girl—
LINDA
Which girl?
TED
I don't believe we've met.
LINDA
(Confuused.)
We haven't?
JIM
‘Ted, Linda. Linda, Ted. Anyway, there are plenty of girls here. Why don't you check the bar?94
HOLIDAY INN
TED
Yd love to hear more of that song first. It’s terrific. Very dani
JIM
You should probably be going.
TED
Come on, just play me a little.
JIM
Those girls get to bed early—
TED
Play me a few bars and I'm gone.
(JIM does. TED dances solo but soon realizes—)
TED
Say, that’s a Foxtrot. You know what a Foxtrot needs?
(Holds his hand out to LINDA.)
A partner.
LINDA
(Protesting.)
Oh, no, no, no—
TED
Come on.
(TED whirls LINDA in and dances with her. They light up the stage as they dance... and
JIM sings...)
JIM
REMEMBER, IT’S MY HEART
‘THE HEART WITH WHICH SO WILLINGLY I PART...
TED
(Realizes.)
Ttwas you!
LINDA
‘What was me?HOLIDAY INN ‘95,
TED
(To JIM.)
You didn't tell her?
LINDA
Tell me what?
TED
For six weeks I've been searching for the girl I danced with on New Year’s Eve and you've been
right here the whole time!
JIM
Hey now, wait a minute—
TED
(To LINDA.)
I want you to be my new partner.
LINDA
What?
TED
Dream come true, I know? We can start right now! I already choreographed a dance just for
Valentine's Day—
JIM
‘No way, no way. You're not taking her away from me—
TED
1¢ idea is to do the act here. I'll get all the newspapers up to
You're not listening to me, Jim.
cover it, business will boom—
JIM
We're doing just fine.
LINDA
Are you sure, Jim? I ran into Charlie Winslow outside—
JIM
Oh great, my favorite person. What did he want?96 HOLIDAY INN
(LINDA goes to her purse. Gives JIM the final notice envelope.)
TED
Look. Jim. If the last six months have taught me anything, it’ that Ted Hanover sells tickets.
JIM
No. No, I've already written the songs. The show is all set.
LINDA
(Ventures to IM.)
You could make some adjustments, right?
TED
Ofcourse he can, he’s just trying to hide his gratitude.
JIM
Linda, you... think this is a good idea?
LINDA
We've only been open six weeks, we could use the press, and if Ted is a big draw...
TED
Ted is a big draw.
LINDA
Jim, don’t we want this place, our place, to be the best it can be?
Beat.)
JIM
I suppose so.
LINDA
‘Then why don’t we give this a shot.
JIM
(Beat, painful.)
What are you envisioning?"NY
HOLIDAY INN 97
TED
Something that reeks of grace and charm.
JIM
Oh, naturally.
TED
Its a romantic waltz.
JIM
Iwas thinking more along the lines ofa conga.
TED
It's Valentine's Day. They want sweet and gentle. The audience should swoon every time I take
her into my arms.
JIM
‘Swoon, oh yes. What a joy it will be to watch you dance with one of my girlfriends again.
Anything I can do to help.
LINDA
just a show, Jim.
(Beat.)
JIM
All right. Il make sure the conductor knows you want it sweet and gentle.
TED
Terrific. Let’s get to work!
IMUSIC 18A: “BE CAREFUL, IT’S MY HEART (TAG)"]
(TED and LINDA go. JIM watches them go.)
JIM
BE CAREFUL, IT’S MY...98 HOLIDAY INN
Scene Five
Holiday Inn (Stage)
IMUSIC 19: “CHEEK TO CHEEK"]
JIM (Contid.)
HEART...
(The Inn is packed for Valentine's Day, everyone here to see TED. The DANCERS enter,
elegantly attired.)
MALE DANCERS
HEAVEN AAH FEMALE DANCERS
HEAVEN
HEAVEN AAH
HEAVEN
HEAVEN
HEAVEN
HEAVEN
HEAVEN
ALL
AHH
FEMALE DANCERS MALE DANCERS
HEAVEN oon
YM IN HEAV OOH AH
AND MY HEART BEATS SO THAT I CAN HARDLY OOH
SPEAK
AND I SEEM TO FIND THE HAPPINESS I SEEK
WHEN WERE OUT TOGETHER 00H OOH OOH
DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK
MALE DANCERS FEMALE DANCERS
HEAVEN OOH
1M IN HEAVEN OOH AAH
AND THE CARES THAT HUNG AROUND ME, AAH
‘THROUGH THE WEEK AAH OOH
SEEM TO VANISH LIKE A GAMBLERS LUCKY
STREAK
WHEN WERE OUT TOGETHER
ALL DANCERS
DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEKww
HOLIDAY INN 99
(LOUISE enters in a Cupid costume.)
LOUISE
Ladies and gentlemen, Holiday Inn is proud to welcome dance sensation Ted Hanover,
appearing tonight with our very own Linda Mason.
(TED enters with LINDA. He's in a tux. She's gorgeous in a sweeping dress. JIM has entered
and prompts the conductor from the stage.)
LINDA
OH I LOVE TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN
AND TO REACH THE HIGHEST PEAK
BUT IT DOESN'T THRILL ME HALF AS MUCH
AS DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK
TED
OH I LOVE TO GO OUT FISHING
INA RIVER OR A CREEK
BUTI DON’T ENJOY IT HALF AS MUCH,
AS DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK
(As TED and LINDA debut their act, JIM changes the tempo and groove each time they get too
close, throwing TED off kilter before he can get too romantic. The tempo gets increasingly
fast until it’s absurd.)
TED DANCERS
DANCE WITH ME DANCE WITH ME
I WANT MY IWANT MY
ARM ABOUT YO! AAH
THE CHARM ABOUT YOU WILL— AAH
(The tempo changes to conga.)
ALL
HEAVEN, I’M IN HEAVEN,
AND MY HEART BEATS SO THAT I CAN HARDLY SPEAK—
(The tempo changes to tarantella.)
AND ISEEM TO FIND THE HAPPINESS I SEEK—
(The tempo changes to slower ballad.)
TED & LINDA
WHEN WE'RE OUT TOGETHER DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK100 HOLIDAY INN
TED & LINDA DANCERS
HEAVEN HEAVEN
1M IN HEAVEN HEAVEN
AND MY HEART BEATS SO THAT AAH
ICAN HARDLY SPEAK
ANDISEEM TO oon
FIND THE HAPPL K
WHEN WE'RE OU’ OUT TOGETHER
DANCING
OUT TOGETHER DANCING OUT'TOGETEHR
OUT TOGETHER DANCING
CHEEK TO CHEEK AHH AHH
(By the end of the number, it has become a Gilbert and Sullivan patter song. The DANCERS
attempt to keep up, to comic affect.)
[MUSIC 19A: “CHEEK TO CHEEK PLAYOFF (ABRAHAM)"]
(The DANCERS exit as the action moves backstage.)
in (Backs!
(TED grabs JIM and pulls him aside.)
TED
What was that all about?
JIM
What was what all about?
TED
Every time I got close to Linda, you threw the tempo.
JIM
Why were you getting so close to her in the first place? That is not what we rehearsed.
TED
When I play a role, I'm fully invested.
JIM
A little too invested if you ask me.
TED
Why are you getting so touchy?HOLIDAY INN 107
JIM
Oh, I don’t know! Maybe because every time | fall for a girl, you swan in and sprinkle stardust
in her eyes!
TED
This isn’t stardust, buddy, it’s business.
JIM
Its always business with you! This is my life.
TED
No, it’s her life. Linda is good, Jim. She’s good enough for the big time.
JIM
Oh no. You are not doing this to me! This is Lila all over again.
(LINDA joins them.)
LINDA
What's Lila all over again?
JIM
Nothing, honey. You were wonderful, you don't have to worry about a thing—
LINDA
I'm worried about what just went on out there. Someone could have been hurt.
JIM
‘Maybe you should tell that to Teddy here, he doesn't seem to be concerned about hurting
people.
TED
(Steps up to JIM.)
What's that supposed to mean?
JIM
‘You wanna know what it means?
LINDA
Whaat is going on between you two?102 HOLIDAY INN
TED
I think Jim should tell you.
LINDA.
Tell me what?
JIM
Nothing.
TED
It’s not nothing.
(To LINDA.)
I was telling him that you and I work well together. It was clear on stage tonight and I was
suggesting that we keep working on our act. We could really go places with it. I'm
talking about Hollywood.
LINDA.
Oh wow, Ted, thank you but... T don’t think so. You, yes. But P'm just—
TED
Astar in the making.
LINDA
I mean, it does sound exciting, but... I can't leave Midville.
(To JIM.)
Right?
JIM
Exactly. You have a life here. You have your students. You have... me.
(LINDA looks at JIM, pleased to hear him say that.)
LINDA
Exactly,
TED
Just pointing out the possibilities. We put this show together in one night, imagine what we
could do with a little time.
(TED goes. LINDA turns to JIM.)=
HOLIDAY INN 103
LINDA
1 know how it can get between old friends, but I think Ted’s just—
JIM
You can never be sure with Ted. There's a fine line between what's real and what's for show,
LINDA.
Tonight was for show. This is real. You and me.
JIM
You don’t say.
LINDA
Oh, I do say.
(They smile. They kiss.)
IMUSIC 198: “TRANSITION (FROM JIM & LINDA TO DANNY & TED)"]
(A phone rings. DANNY, in pajamas and a sleep mask, picks up the phone on the side of
the stage. TED is on the other side.)
DANNY
(Into phone.)
Whoever's calling me at midnight, I hope it’s better than the dream I was having.
TED
(Into phone.)
Depends, what were you dreaming about?
DANNY
Not you.
DANNY'S MOTHER V.O.
(On phone eatension.)
Danny I can hear you talking all the way upstairs!
DANNY
I'm on the phone with a client, Ma!104 HOLIDAY INN
TED
Do you live with your mother?
DANNY
No.
TED
Listen, Danny. I found the girl.
DANNY
Which girl?
TED
‘The girl from New Year's Eve! My new dance partner.
DANNY
‘You're kidding. Where the hell was she?
TED
At Jim’ place. I'm telling you the chemistry between us is perfect.
DANNY
T'm gonna need proof before I can call the producers from Hollywood, boychik.
TED
I'll put together something great for Easter. You gotta come up here!
DANNY
Ma! When's Easter?!ms
HOLIDAY INN 105
Scene Six
Midville Town Center - Easter 1947 / Holiday Inn Stage
(Dressed in their Sunday best, LOUISE and the DANCERS ezit the church.)
STANLEY
What a lovely Easter service.
‘STELLA
I can’t remember the last time I saw the inside of a church.
JANIE
You were probably at confession.
SUSIE
I wonder if this is where Jim and Linda will get married.
LOUISE
I can't imagine why we wouldn't have the wedding at the Inn,
DAPHNE
‘They can't get married at the Inn if it’s only open on the holidays.
LOUISE
What's a bigger holiday than a wedding?
GIM overhears this last line as he and LINDA ewit the church.)
JIM
Who's getting married?
(EVERYBODY spooks.)
LOUISE
Me. Lam.
BRENDA
(Grabs LOUISE’s hand and holds it up in union.)
We are.106 HOLIDAY INN
JIM
Okay, well we've got a two-show day so let’s deal with Easter first.
(LOUISE and the DANCERS continue off.)
LINDA
What a beautiful day. Too bad we have to spend it inside.
JIM
Hey, we've still got a few minutes for an old-fashioned walk.
LINDA
With you, sit? Anytime.
JM
I just want to enjoy this magnificent spring day with you.
(Just as they are about to kiss, TED enters.)
TED
Say, Linda, can we go over that opening number ballroom routine before the show?
LINDA
Sure. Meet you back at the Inn?
TED
We should make it perfect today.
LINDA
Of course.
TED
(To MIM as he exits.)
Happy Easter, pal. Love the new song you wrote.
JIM
(To himself, seething.)
Happy Easter, pal.
LINDA
Maybe he’s fallen in love with Connecticut after all.7X
HOLIDAY INN. 107
JIM
My motherly intuition tells me he’ up to something, but I don't know what.
LINDA
Oh, Jim, he’s filling up the place. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt.
JIM
ll give him doubt all right.
LINDA
Come on, Now where were we?
JIM
Thelieve I was about to lean in like this.
IMUSIC 20: “EASTER PARADE")
IM leans in.)
LINDA
Yes.
JM
Look deep into your eyes.
LINDA
Yes.
JIM
And tell you how beautiful you look. Right now. Right at this moment. I want to remember it
for the rest of my life.
(Sings.)
IN YOUR EASTER BONNET
WITH ALL THE FRILLS UPON IT
YOU'LL BE THE GRANDEST LADY
IN THE EASTER PARADE
I'LL BE ALL IN CLOVER
AND WHEN THEY LOOK YOU OVER
I'LL BE THE PROUDEST FELLOW
IN THE EASTER PARADE,108 HOLIDAY INN
LINDA
ON THE AVENUE, FIFTH AVENUE
‘THE PHOTOGRAPHERS WILL SNAP US,
AND YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU'RE
IN THE ROTOGRAVURE
JIM
OH, I COULD WRITE A SONNET
ABOUT YOUR EASTER BONNET
AND OF THE GIRL I'M TAKING TO
‘THE EASTER PARADE,
lay Inn (Stage)
(The DANCERS jill the stage in resplendent pastels.)
ALL (FULL ENSEMBLE)
ON THE AVENUE, (ON THE AVENUE)
FIFTH AVENUE (FIFTH AVENUE)
THE PHOTOGRAPHERS WILL SNAP US.
AND YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU'RE
IN THE ROTOGRAVURE
(LOUISE enters in costume.)
LOUISE
Hey guys, wait, one more with me!
(Sings.)
OH, I COULD WRITE A SONNET
ABOUT YOUR EASTER BONNET
MALE DANCERS (MALE ENSEMBLE)
AND OF THE GIRL IM TAKING TO
THE EASTER PARADE,
(TED and LINDA enter.)
TED
NEVER SAW YOU LOOK
QUITE SO PRETTY BEFORE
NEVER SAW YOU DRESSED
QUITE SO LOVELY, WHAT'S MOREHOLIDAY INN 109
GIM enters, surprising TED and joining him as LINDA’s “Easter date” in the number.)
TED & JIM
1 COULD HARDLY WAIT
TO KEEP OUR DATE
THIS LOVELY EASTER MORNING
LINDA
AND MY HEART BEAT FAST.
ASI CAME THROUGH THE DOOR,
FOR IN MY EASTER BONNET
WITH ALL THE FRILLS UPON IT
I'LL BE THE GRANDEST LADY
IN THE EASTER PARADE,
DANCERS (FULL ENSEMBLE)
JIM & TED
OH I COULD WRITE A SONNET OH I COULD WRITE A SONNET
JIM, TED & LINDA
ABOUT YOUR (MY) EASTER BONNET AND YOUR EASTER BONNET
AND OF THE GIRL I'M (YOU'RE) AND OF THE GIRLEM
TAKING TO THE EASTER PARADE TERING TO THE EASTERIPARADE
TO THE EASTER PARADE AAH
[MUSIC 20A: “EASTER PLAYOFF”)
Inn (Backs
(DANNY enters looking for TED, who appears in his post-show garb, towel around his
neck.)
DANNY
‘Teddy! Teddy!
TED
Danny, you made it!
DANNY
Barely. I'm feeling a little out of place here. I think I just got stung by a wasp.
Beat.)
All right, let’ do this quick. I want to get the hell out of here. You were right about Linda
Mason.
TED
Itold you!