The War Sacrifices of Mr.

Spugg

By Stephen Leacock

Directions: Read the short story. Answer the questions. Refer to the text to check your answers when appropriate.

ALTHOUGH we had been members of the same club by the hand, "this is a fine thing you're doing, a big
for years, I only knew Mr. Spugg by sight until one thing. But we mustn't let you do it alone. Let our
afternoon when I heard him saying that he intended to company take a hand in it. We're making a special rate
send his chauffeur1 to the war. now on chauffeurs, footmen, and house-servants sent to
the war, quite below the rate that actuarial figures
It was said quite quietly, —no bombast or boasting justify. It is our little war contribution," he added
about it. Mr. Spugg was standing among a little group modestly. "We like to feel that we're doing our bit, too.
of listening members of the club and when he said that We had a chauffeur killed last week. We paid for him
he had decided to send his chauffeur, he spoke with a right off without demur3, —waived all question of who
kind of simple earnestness2, a determination that killed him. I never signed a check (as I took occasion to
marks the character of the man. say in a little note I wrote to his people) with greater
pleasure."
"Yes," he said, "we need all the man-power we can
command. This thing has come to a showdown and "What do you do if Henry's mutilated4?" asked Mr.
we've got to recognize it. I told Henry that it's a Spugg, turning his quiet eyes on the insurance man and
showdown and that he's to get ready and start right facing the brutal facts of things without flinching.
away." "What do you pay? Suppose I lose the use of Henry's
legs, what then?"
"Well, Spugg," said one of the members, "you're
certainly setting us a fine example." "It's all right," said his friend. "Leave it to us. Whatever
he loses, we make it good."
"What else can a man do?" said Mr. Spugg.
"All right," said Spugg, "send me round a policy. I'm
"When does your chauffeur leave?" asked another man. going to see Henry clear through on this."

"Right away. I want him in the firing line just as quick It was at this point that at my own urgent request I was
as I can get him there." introduced to Mr. Spugg, so that I might add my
congratulations to those of the others. I told him that I
"It's a fine thing you're doing, Spugg," said a third felt, as all the other members of the club did, that he
member, "but do you realize that your chauffeur may was doing a big thing, and he answered again, in his
be killed?" modest way that he didn't see what else a man could
do.
"I must take my chance on that," answered Mr. Spugg,
firmly. "I've thought this thing out and made up my "My son Alfred and I," he said, "talked it over last
mind: If my chauffeur is killed, I mean to pay for him, night and we agreed that we can run the car ourselves,
—full and adequate compensation. The loss must fall or make a shot at it anyway. After all, it's war time."
on me, not on him. Or, say Henry comes back
mutilated, —say he loses a leg, —say he loses two "What branch of the service are you putting your
legs..." chauffeur in?" I asked.

Here Mr. Spugg looked about him at his listeners, with "I'm not sure," he answered, "I think I'll send him up in
a look that meant that even three legs wouldn't be too the air. It's dangerous, of course, but it's no time to
much for him. think about that."

"Whatever Henry loses I pay for. The loss shall fall on

me, every cent of it."
 Vocabulary
"Spugg," said a quiet-looking, neatly dressed man
1. chauffeur: a person employed to drive a private car
whom I knew to be the president of an insurance
2. earnest: serious; sincere, intense conviction
company and who reached out and shook the speaker 3. demur: to delay or oppose
So, in due time, Mr. Spugg's chauffeur, Henry, went 4. mutilate: disable or remove a vital part such as a limb
overseas. He was reported first as in England. Next he 5. tremor: to shake or quiver
was right at the front, at the very firing itself. We knew
I said, 'William, we've got to show these fellows that
then, —everybody in the club knew that Mr. Spugg's
man for man we're a match for them.' That's the way I
chauffeur might be killed at any moment. But great as
look at it, man for man."
the strain must have been, Spugg went up and down to
his office and in and out of the club without a tremor5.
I watched Mr. Spugg's massive face as he went on with
The situation gave him a new importance in our eyes,
his meal. Not a nerve of it moved. If he felt any fear, at
something tense.
least he showed no trace of it.
"This seems to be a terrific business," I said to him one
After that I got war news from him at intervals, in little
day at lunch, "this new German drive;"
scraps, as I happened to meet him. "The war looks
bad," I said to him one day as I chanced upon him
"My chauffeur," said Mr. Spugg, "was right in the
getting into his motor. "This submarine business is
middle of it."
pretty serious."
"He was, eh?"
"It is," he said, "William was torpedoed7 yesterday."
"Yes," he continued, "one shell burst in the air so near
Then he got into his car and drove away, as quietly as if
him it almost broke his wings."
nothing had happened.
Mr. Spugg told this with no false boasting or bravado6,
A little later that day I heard him talking about it in the
eating his celery as he spoke of it. Here was a man who
club. "Yes," he was saying, "a submarine. It torpedoed
had nearly had his chauffeur's wings blown off and yet
William, —my gardener. I have both a chauffeur and a
he never moved a muscle. I began to realize the kind of
gardener at the war. William was picked up on a raft.
resolute stuff that the man was made of.
He's in pretty bad shape. My son Alfred had a cable
from him that he's coming home. We've both
A few days later bad news came to the club. "Have you
telegraphed8 him to stick it out."
heard the bad news about Spugg?" someone asked.
The news was the chief topic in the club that day.
"No, what?"
"Spugg's gardener has been torpedoed," they said, "but
Spugg refuses to have him quit and come home." "Well
"His chauffeur's been gassed."
done, Spugg," said everybody.
"Fine. He's sending off his gardener to take the
After that we had news from time to time about both
chauffeur's place."
William and Henry.
So that was Mr. Spugg's answer to the Germans.
"Henry's out of the hospital," said Spugg. "I hope to
have him back in France in a few days. William's in
We lunched together that day.
bad shape still. I had a London surgeon go and look at
him. I told him not to mind the expense but to get
"Yes," he said, "Henry's gassed. How it happened I
William fixed up right away. It seems that one arm is
don't know. He must have come down out of the air. I
more or less paralyzed. I've wired back to him not to
told him I wanted him in the air. But let it pass. It's
hesitate. They say William's blood is still too thin for
done now." "And you're sending your gardener?"
the operation. I've cabled to them to take some of
Henry's. I hate to do it, but this is no time to stick at
"I am," said Spugg. "He's gone already. I called him in
anything."
from the garden yesterday. I said, "William, Henry's
been gassed. Our first duty is to keep up our A little later William and Henry were reported both
man-power at the front. You must leave tonight." back in France. This was at the very moment of the
great offensive. But Spugg went about his daily
"Infantry. He'll do best in the trenches, — digs well and business unmoved. Then came the worst news of all.
is a very fair shot. Anyway I want him to see all the "William and Henry," he said to me, "are both missing.
fighting that's going. If the Germans won't give and I don't know where the devil they are." "Missing!" I
take in this business they can have it. They'll soon see repeated.
who can stand it best. I told William when he left.
"Both of them. The Germans have caught them both. I
suppose I shan't have either of them back now till the Vocabulary
war is all over."
6. bravado: a show of defiance or courage
7. torpedo: an underwater missile or bomb
He gave a slight sigh,—the only sign of complaint that 8. telegraph: a message sent by wire
ever I had heard come from him. Meantime, one little bit of consolation came to help Mr.
Spugg to bear the burden of the war. I found him in the
But the next day we learned what was Spugg's answer lounge room of the club one afternoon among a group
to the German's capture of William and Henry. of men, exhibiting two medals that were being passed
from hand to hand.
"Have you heard what Spugg is doing?" the members
of the club asked one another. "What?" "Sent to me by the French government," he explained
proudly, —"they're for William and Henry. The motto
"He's sending over Meadows, his own man!" means, 'For Conspicuous Courage' " (Mr. Spugg drew
himself up with legitimate pride). "I shall keep one and
There was no need to comment on it. The cool courage let Alfred keep the other till they come back." Then he
of the thing spoke "for itself. Meadows, —Spugg's own added, as an afterthought, "They may never come
man, —his house valet9, without whom he never back."
travelled twenty miles!
From that day on, Mr. Spugg, with his French medal on
"What else was there to do?" said Mr. Spugg when I his watch chain, was the most conspicuous figure in the
asked him if it was true that Meadows was going. club. He was pointed out as having done more than any
other one man in the institution to keep the flag flying.
"I take no credit for sending Meadows, nor, for the But presently the limit of Mr. Spugg's efforts and
matter of that, for anything that Meadows may do over sacrifices was reached. Even patriotism such as his
there. It was a simple matter of duty. My son and I had must have some bounds.
him into the dining room last night after dinner.
'Meadows,' we said, 'Henry and William are caught. On entering the club one afternoon I could hear his
Our man power at the front has got to be kept up. voice bawling vociferously11 in one of the telephone
There's no one left but ourselves and you. There's no cabinets in the hall, "Hello, Washington," he was
way out of it. You'll have to go.'" shouting, "Is that Washington? Long Distance, I want
Washington."
"But how," I protested, "can you get along with
Meadows, your valet, gone? You'll be lost!" Fifteen minutes later he came up to the sitting room
still flushed with indignation and excitement.
"We must do the best we can. We've talked it all over.
My son will help me dress and I will help him. We can "That's the limit," he said, "the absolute limit!"
manage, no doubt."
"What's the matter?" I asked.
So Meadows went.
"They drafted12 Alfred," he answered. "Just imagine it.
After this Mr. Spugg, dressed as best he could manage When we're so busy in the office that we're getting
it, and taking turns with his son in driving his own down there at half past eight in the morning. Drafted
motor, was a pathetic but uncomplaining object. Alfred! 'Great Caesar,' I said to them! 'Look here!
You've had my chauffeur and he's gassed, and you've
Meadows meantime was reported as with the heavy had my gardener and he's torpedoed and they're both
artillery, doing well. "I hope nothing happens to prisoners, and last month I sent you my own man!
Meadows," Spugg kept saying. "If it does, we're stuck. That,' I said, 'is about the limit.' "
We can't go ourselves. We're too busy. We've talked it
over and we've both decided that it's impossible to get "What did they say," I asked.
away from the office, — not with business as brisk as it
is now. We're busier than we've been in ten years and "Oh, it's all right. They've fixed it all up and they've
can't get off for a day. We may try to take a month off apologized as well. Alfred won't go, of course, but it
for the Adirondacks10 a little later but as for Europe, makes one realize that you can carry a thing too far.
it's out of the question." Why, they'd be taking me next!"

"Oh, surely not," I said.

Vocabulary

9. valet: a personal attendant

10. Adirondacks: a mountain region in New York State
11. vociferous: a noisy vocal outcry or clamor
12. draft: to require military service by the government
 Name: ____________________________________
The War Sacrifices of Mr. Spugg | Reading Quiz
1. Which best describes the TONE of this story?

a. Sarcastic​ ​ ​ b. Sincere​ ​ ​ c. Tragic​ ​ ​ d. Heroic

2. Why does Mr. Spugg claim that he cannot fight in the war himself?

a. His luggage would take up too much room.​ ​ b. He doesn’t have enough training or physical strength.
c. He lacks the courage to risk his own safety.​ ​ d. His business is too busy for him to leave the office.

3. How does Mr. Spugg’s concern for his son Alfred compare to his concern for Henry?

a. He is prepared to lose Alfred but not Henry.​ ​ b. He is prepared to lose Henry but not Alfred.
c. He is prepared to lose both Henry and Alfred.​​ d. He is not prepared to lose either Alfred or Henry.

4. Which statement best characterizes Mr. Spugg?

a. He is willing to give ALL for his nation.​ ​ b. He is willing to sacrifice other people but not himself.

c. He is a model for bravery during wartime.​ ​ d. He is a double-agent that is helping the enemy troops.

5. What is IRONIC about the war medal that Mr. Spugg wears?

a. It is a medal that is supposed to be awarded to children and he doesn’t know it.​

b. He saved hundreds of men from a sinking submarine while looking for his golf ball.

c. It belongs to another man yet he wears it proudly as his own.​

d. He earned the medal for performing extreme acts of bravery by accident.

6. From which perspective is this story narrated?

a. First-person​ ​ b. Third-person objective​ c. Third-person omniscient​ d. Third-person limited​

7. Which THEME does this story suggest?

a. The costs of war may be heavy but they are paid by society and everyone benefits. ​

b. War is a futile and unnecessary effort that only results in pain and suffering.

c. The costs of war are great but paid unevenly and mostly by the poor.​

d. War is very painful for everyone no matter who or where you are.

8. Which figurative language technique is used in the following?

"Here Mr. Spugg looked about him at his listeners, with a look that meant that even three legs wouldn't be too much for him."

a. Simile​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ b. Onomatopoeia

c. Understatement​ ​ ​ ​ ​ d. Hyperbole

9. If the story continued with Mr. Spugg being drafted to war, we can PREDICT that he would do which?

a. He WOULD go to war BUT he would complain.​ b. He WOULD go to war without complaint.

c. He WOULD NOT go to war and he’d complain.​ d. He WOULD NOT go to war but he’d keep it a secret.

10. Which statement best SUMMARIZES Mr. Spugg’s war sacrifices?

a. Mr. Spugg has sacrificed very little for the war but made a big show about it.

b. Mr. Spugg has sacrificed a lot for the war effort and he has received little credit.

c. Mr. Spugg has sacrificed a good amount for the war effort but everyone else has too.

d. Mr. Spugg has sacrificed more than any man he knows and no one seems to appreciate it.

Extended Response: Answer the following question in complete sentences on a separate sheet of paper.

Is this story funny or sad? ​

Support your answer with evidence from the text and explain your argument completely.