PRESENT PERFECT NOTES
Dealing with Dualistic Thinking
1. The first thing that I need to do is to remind myself that I have to accept the present reality
because there is no other reality that I can accept in the present. I have to realize that the
present and past is already perfect, by virtue of the fact that it is completed and so cannot be
improved any more.
2. Envisioning a better reality is important to goal-setting and progress, but it is important for me
to live in the ordinary perfection of what is. Having a vision and tracking progress are tools to
be picked up and used, and then put down to return to present moment awareness, not
something to be obsessed about all the time.
3. The idea that things either meet my ideals and I am a success or don’t meet my ideals and I
am a failure is a form of dichotomous or all-or-nothing thinking. Actually, there is only one
reality, and it is what it is. It is also more nuanced than is allowed by dichotomous thinking.
4. I need to end the habit of constantly judging what is against what theoretically could be; this
is done by acceptance, which is non-comparison and non-judging against an ideal.
5. I have this erroneous view of perfection as a state, something to be preserved, and that by
doing so, will enable lasting happiness and well-being. In actual fact, reality is in constant flux
and I cannot control it, and this attachment to it is making me discontented. In the
process/dynamic view of perfection, one sees one’s life as an unfolding work in progress;
one is always succeeding since he is doing his best (and thus realizing his potential).
Rehabilitation of Conscious Choice
6. Right now I am always mindlessly performing the inferred next action towards a theoretically
perfect future. Since it’s always a “should” action, I have lost my enthusiasm and replaced it
with obligation; I only value the activity that can result in a sense of accomplishment (the
destination), without enjoying what I do (the journey). This has resulted in a motivational
crisis.
7. If I consider my programming, I’m actually living in accordance with someone else’s view of
how my life should be lived. I can, however, deprogram and reprogram. In order to do this, I
have to stop and make conscious, mindful choices.
8. Choice refers to being aware of the full range of options available, as well as the act of
selecting one of those. When I am stuck in a “should”, I don’t see any options other than the
course of action that is expected of me. I am not free.
Rehabilitation of My Self-View
9. Self-esteem is based on comparison between myself and who I think I should be; it is
conditional. Self-acceptance is a once-and-for-all conclusion that I am what I am and that I
am doing the best I can at any given point in time. I have to cultivate self-acceptance.
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Time
10. I am in a constant future orientation. The present is a stressful reminder of all that is yet to be
accomplished, so I stay in it only long enough to reject it: to confirm that reality has failed my
expectations of perfection and to reset my sights on the virgin future which reflects my
ambition and is flawless in its potential.
11. I am in mindless rush to get to the future, hence I am not really living, because life is in the
now. The future and the present don’t exist except in the mind. When I look back, I will
realize that I missed my life.
12. Meditators, by being mindful and paying attention to what is, are encoding more experience
and getting more out of the same 60 seconds in a minute than people who are not mindful.
Thus the same minute, when lived with presence, feels longer and more memorable when
they look back at it.
13. I have a patience problem. I am intolerant of others’ tardiness. Proudly efficient, I have no
stomach for seemingly unnecessary delays. I need to cultivate patience and convert the
agitated non-doing of waiting into mindful and restful non-doing.
14. I need to think of waiting as a part of life; not a waste of my life but just another moment of
my life, and I am not willing to wish it away. Instead, I will take this moment of waiting as a
rare opportunity to just do nothing, to just be.
Performance
15. To leverage performance, I have to focus on what I am doing, not on the outcome of my
actions. Otherwise I will have performance anxiety, and leaks of concentration and focus.
Process focus, it seems, assures optimal outcomes.
16. The world will continue to assess me on outcomes such as performance evaluations and
other pass/fail criteria. That’s the way of the world. But in my own relationship with myself, I
don’t have to use the outcome yardstick. I can measure my worth based on the amount of
effort I used. Or better yet, skip the evaluation altogether and accept—wholesale—that I am
always operating at the best effort I am capable of at any given point in time. If I am always at
my best-effort level, then I am always at my best-outcome level.
17. Whether my outcome is good enough for someone else or not is a different issue. What
matters is that my best (effort and outcome) is enough for me, and it is, because I can only
do what I can do, and that’s enough.
18. De-catastrophize the consequences of my performance if I did not achieve the expectations
on me (“it’s survivable, it’s not the end of the world”). If I get stuck in thinking use CBT for
rumination-control.
Uncertainty
19. I have a love-hate relationship with the future. I love the virgin potential for theoretical
perfection in it, but I also dread it because it is fundamentally uncertain and outside of my
control.
20. Uncertainty is unacceptable to me. I get anxious, worried and panicky because I don’t know
what comes next. I make predictions. I over-prepare, e.g. by buying books and reading them.
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21. Because I fear losing control, I become controlling. I lose creativity and playfulness by
defaulting to habits and already trodden paths, such as those prescribed in books. As my
mind closes, my life shrinks.
22. No matter how much I prepare myself, the future is, by its very essence, beyond my control.
All that I can control is my reaction to being out of control, which can be through acceptance,
courage, and possibly a sense of fun.
23. I am to acknowledge that we are moving into the unknown, on faith and not on knowledge;
this is an inevitable part of the human condition.
24. Uncertainty should also be seen as a prerequisite for surprise, and I should look the future in
the eye with eager curiosity and see the amazing possibilities that I won’t find anywhere else
in time.
